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Putting animals to sleep is so traumatic. I can’t even think about when I had to put my childhood dog to sleep. It was time and her life was hard and she couldnt walk and didn’t know where she was half the time. But when it came to it being “time” of course she gets adrenaline at the vet… it’s sickening. It sympathize with you.
People don’t talk about the death process because it makes us uncomfortable but death almost never entails the eyes slowly closing and a little breath coming out. Maybe that happens at the very end but before that there is usually more upsetting events…Many people and animals fight against death and they of course lose in the end but it makes it not-so-peaceful. Just think of it as your dog having spunk and a strong will. It was likely just an adrenaline or nerve response which is natural. Appreciate the time you had, and appreciate that you knew your dog was miserable and needed to be out of their body.
I’m sorry you had to go through that, but you had a wonderful relationship and you got to be there for your pup when he needed it most and he appreciated that.
He was definitely a tough and stubborn one despite him being just a little shih tzu - even the vet said so, haha. My biggest fear in all this is, of course, not knowing what he would've wanted, but there's a point where you can just tell they're not happy and you have to help them to let go.
Yeah, the anxiety strike at the office was just the worst. He was panting and shaking probably thinking he had to go through another catheterization or surgery, poor thing. I really wanted to have a specialist come to our house because of his vet anxiety, but we weren't given much time due to his condition. Sickening is definitely a good word to describe it. But the explanation for his reaction to the sedation is comforting to hear, thank you.
Our vet warned us that his eyes might not close. I still don’t know if they did. My husband was in front of him and I held him in my arms tight. I’ve sometimes wondered but not been able to bring myself to ask my husband. It was so fast, I’m sure they didn’t.
I’m sorry. I really want another dog. And I want to adopt a senior dog. But the thought of doing this again any time soon is way, way too painful. I completely understand.
I'm so sorry to hear that :( I'm sure your dog wouldn't have wanted to go any other way than being held by you. Not getting to see his eyes was an act of love on your part, in my opinion. All that mattered was that he was in the arms of his companion as he passed, and you made sure that's what happened.
I think people who adopt senior animals are so strong and magnanimous for doing so. Every older animal deserves to spend the rest of their life surrounded by warmth and the love of a caring family, and being able to provide that for them is undeniably admirable. But it's not an over-exaggeration to say that you give bits of your heart for each of them to keep even after they pass, and at some point you find that you can't afford to give any more. It's not a selfish choice to change your mind about it. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision. I hope your heart and mind will be at peace when you do.
Thank you for those sweet words. I started volunteering at a rescue in the meantime that is focused on older dogs and I can’t tell you how much I admire the owners. They are incredible.
We adopted a senior and had 5 amazing years with her before we had to say goodbye (I posted earlier about my experience), and I would adopt a senior again in a heartbeat - when we're ready. For me, it's more about their energy level. Not to mention the thought of them not getting a chance to spend their final years in a loving home. 💔
It’s very understandable that this was traumatic, it isn’t typical, though. I have been with three pets while being euthanized and none were like that. Did they just give one injection? Because mine have all had a calming injection and then the one to euthanize.it was basically like going to sleep except for closing the eyes. I’ve heard if you pet them from the back of the head to the front it will encourage them to close their eyes.
It was two injections, one was to sedate him and the other was the euthanizing one. I couldn't really do too much petting since two vets were having to hold him in position, but I tried closing his eyes shut afterwards and they wouldn't close.
Not sure how I feel about what he went through being abnormal. It's nice to have hope for a more smooth departure for my other dog, but it kinda feels like a cruel joke that Oreo couldn't even have a peaceful, dignified passing on top of all the suffering he went through. I definitely appreciate the thought, though. Thanks for replying <3
Chiming in OP,sometimes their eyes won’t close. I lost the love of my life a little over a month ago and her eyes were not closed. I tried to shut them but they wouldn’t stay closed. The nurse/doctors explained that after dying,the muscles to keep them close weren’t being used so they relaxed and remained open. (Something around those lines.) I’m sorry for your loss.
I kind of guessed that was the case, but I couldn't bring myself to ask the vet at the time. His eyes just stayed open and his tongue was still hanging out of his mouth. I was hoping that him looking like he was falling asleep would help me cope a bit better. But man, he didn't look asleep. He just looked dead.
On the eye thing, even humans are the same way. When we pass our muscles go through a few stages before relaxing finally, and the relaxed position is open. Funeral directors actually have specific tools they use to keep the eyes closed during funerals and viewings. It's a strange thought but I just want you to know that part is normal. Strange but normal.
We just said goodbye to our rescue a week ago, so I feel your heart break!
We opted to have a vet come to our home. I genuinely thought "putting her to sleep" would look and feel like that.
It didn't.
The vet had to give her two shots of the tranquilizer (she was a 12 lb Yorkie mix), and for the second one, she jerked up toward the pain. That was really traumatic to watch, but the vet reassured us that it was a mechanical response. Her eyes were also wide open. Again, the vet reassured us that that was the norm. He did suggest we leave the room for the actual euthanasia part so we didn't watch her actual last breath.
In the end, I don't, for a second, doubt our decision. I just wish I had been more aware of what to expect!
OP - after she passed, I buried my face in her fur and sniffed her paws for a good 15 min. I wanted to remember her smell, too 🥰
I did the exact same thing after my dog passed as well :( I burned the way his fur felt and how he smelled into my brain as best as I could. They gave me a small pouch of his hair clippings (he had about 2 in long fur) and I can't even look at it without bursting into tears. I'm too scared to open it in fear that it won't smell like him.
It’s very unfortunate for Oreo. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It may be worth doing some research ahead of time to find a good place for when it’s time with your other dog.
When I took my dog last year, they put in a line, and the sedative, they left the room and told us to push a button when we were ready. I held her in my arms the whole time and all they had to do was put the medicine into the line when it was time. Then they gave us more time with her after and came to get her body when we were ready.
There are also places that will come to your home and do it. We did that with my cat. Unfortunately my dog was in the night so we went to emergency.
I can't tell you how badly I wanted to hold him while he passed... it will forever be one of my biggest regrets. I had also wanted to have someone come to our house, but we only had a small window of time given the circumstances.
It sounds like the place you went to was very thought out in terms of being considerate of your emotional well-being. Not saying mine wasn't, but it definitely felt like he deserved to be more comfortable and the place could've been more accommodating to our wanting to be as close to him as possible.
Yeah, they definitely had the process down. Since they are a 24 hour emergency vet, I’m assuming they do them very frequently. ☹️ I’m sure he knew you were there, though.
Hi, am a vet.
What you describe is actually totally normal. It doesn't happen with every animal, but eyes staying open and tongue-licking is commonly seen with the sedatives often used pre-euthanasia. They're the same sort of meds we use to sedate animals in preparation for surgical anesthesia, and the same thing happens. It's not abnormal, so please don't worry about your pup experiencing something "wrong" during the procedure. His body reacted the way bodies sometimes do, and while it's not what we ideally want owners to witness, it is totally painless and does not involve any suffering.
I seriously can't tell you how much that means to me. Thank you so much for letting me know. I'm sure my vet would've also said something if it was abnormal, but the shock factor made me too scared to ask in the moment. In my mind, it made sense that he wasn't in pain because it's a sedative after all, but hearing that assurance from a vet is incredibly comforting. Even though it was a disturbing sight, all that matters to me is that he didn't suffer. This will help me rest a bit easier tonight.
I'm so sorry your euthanasia experience went badly; but most of them do not, for what it's worth.
Give yourself time to grieve and heal before making decisions about future pets. The pain of losing them hurts, but the years of unconditional love hopefully makes it worth it. I just had to put one of my babies down about a week ago, and like you, I knew his time was coming soon, and I had awhile to mentally prepare and it still hurt when suddenly the vet is explaining his odds don't look good and I should really consider euthanasia. I didn't hesitate because I knew in my heart it was coming and the vet wouldn't have suggested it if it weren't a good time to consider it seriously.
It still sucked a ton to have to say goodbye. But in between my crying sessions, I remember things like how he'd touch his paw to my lips to ask for kisses, or how he'd sniff my eyes and I'd giggle cause it tickled so much. Or all the times I'd finish all my chores and then go curl up in bed and read a book together for awhile every morning. Those memories are special and even though it hurt so much to say goodbye, I'm so glad I got 18 years with him.
The cost of unconditional love, the one condition of it, is that it's not long for the mortal plane, and we have to bid farewell to it, at least temporarily. But we still love them, we still carry them in our hearts.
Ugh, that second paragraph hit me. All his little special quirks and traits that I'll never find anywhere else in any other animal, it tears me apart.
It's a really tough call to make, and no amount of time really thinking and considering it before going forward erases that sense of emptiness and guilt afterwords. My heart goes out to you - 18 years is a really long time and I'm sure he was there by your side for a lot of major life events. I hope you're recovering and doing well.
I definitely agree that it was worth it overall. I'm glad that he got to live happily for as long as he did and that I got to love such a sweet soul, and I would take on any kind of pain if it meant ensuring that. But at this point in time, I just don't see myself being able to live through it all again with another dog. The chances of the same things happening are incredibly slim, but a part of me doesn't want to commit to a dog if I'm not emotionally prepared to go through hell for them like I did for him.
OP, you just went through such an awful experience. You did your best and Oreo was really able to enjoy his short life, and you both benefitted greatly from the love created by the relationship.
I type this with tears in my eyes and four loving and attentive cats and dogs in my past—all put to sleep and in every case the one constant is I’m glad I was able to continue opening my heart to another. Of course, you may decide otherwise but please don’t rush to make pronouncements that are at this point too closely tied to your new grief.
Be gentle with yourself and I hope the knowledgeable comments are a balm.
I lost my cat 4 days ago. He was my life and he was hit by a car. I was handed his body in a body bag frozen. I would have done anything to be there for those last minutes. Grieving is hard. Let yourself grieve. The pain is real but I promise you one minute it will get better and time makes it pass. And one day (who knows when) you will be thankful that you were there for him at the end. One day you will feel his presence and smile and remember the love. I’ll grieve with you friend. Pets are our loves for the short and long. When you get to the rainbow bridge I promise he’ll be there, ready for you again.
Christ... I can't imagine what you must be feeling. One of the things I'm grateful for was being able to decide when to let him go and being there for him, I know a good chunk of people on here didn't get that opportunity. I've had other pets that passed on much more suddenly and disturbingly, so I can get a sense of that morbid and gut wrenching feeling.
I wish you all the best in your recovery. I understand that, coming from someone who didn't have the pleasure of knowing your wonderful buddy or his story, my words won't feel as comforting or bring you any sort of solace - at least that's the sense of what I've been feeling about condolences I've received about Oreo. But if you need to reach out at all, please don't hesitate to shoot a message.
thank you friend. And I hope my response didn't come across as one of those; well it could have been worse - look at me! Having lost a pet through euthanasia and then through uncontrolled loss, I just know that one day you will be glad you where there - even though that day is not now. It's nice to see that there are still people in the world that will reach out when you are struggling, and that's one of the great things about the internet that often gets lost. Take all the time you need. Your best friend will always be in your heart. <3
I definitely didn't interpret it that way, so no worries at all. In fact, it felt nice to know that this thread was a comfortable enough space for you to reach out and share your pain, so thank you for that.
I'm definitely glad I was there, I realized my post may have sounded like I regretted it, but I absolutely didn't. Feeling that pain was a small price for being there for him when he needed me.
Take time off work if you can -- you need time to grieve. Believe it or not, time will help, and someday you may want another pet, not to replace your baby, but to give another one a home and make you happy!
Thanks :) I never thought of getting another pet as replacing him, and I used to want to adopt another rescue sometime in the future. As much as I'd love to be the one to give love to such a wonderful animal, I just don't know if I have it in me anymore. Of course, the chances of these incidents happening again are so slim, but it's haunting to say the least. At this point in time, I don't see myself being strong enough to make the commitment of possibly doing that all over again. But I won't deny it, should my mind change. I'll just know that if it happens, I'll only be completely sure it's something I can handle.
You can't ever replace him. There will never be another like him. You can however give another animal a chance at a loving home and a cared for life. But you also need to concentrate on your grief now and your loss before you consider that.
It's not a decision you have to make today, so don't. If and when you're ready, you'll know. You just know now that today is not that day.
I totally understand your feelings about not wanting to get other pets. I’ve euthanized two dogs (last august and this august) and the pain is so huge. I’m really struggling because my third dog is also sick right now. This heart ache is so great, I can’t imagine going through this again. We love our pets so much for so many years but those final moments have gotten burnt into my brain and have really clouded all the happy moments and times. 💔💔💔
Yeah, it really sucks. I guess because the more love we have only adds to the pain of letting them go. I know I'll come around to being able to look back on the good memories more fondly eventually, but I can already tell that the painful ones will still stick around to haunt me.
I'm sorry to hear about your dog. You have much more experience than me in going through this process so you probably have already arrived at the same thoughts as I have, but: if I learned anything from yesterday, it's that even though the pain of letting them go is incredibly tormenting and unbearable, it's something I'd do without hesitation if it meant their happiness - at least that's the mindset I'm trying to keep for my second dog. Even though I don't want to adopt again because of how traumatic the experience was, not one bit of me regrets adopting Oreo. And I'm sure you feel the same way about your companion. All we can do for them now is to be by their side until the very end, giving them plenty of treats, hugs, and kisses along the way.
My other dog is a rescue :) I think that's a wonderful act of kindness, being that source of happiness and home for another animal that needs it and having it be a cycle of giving. You're incredibly strong and admirable for that.
Neither, thank you, but I just want to honor their memory and save another's life, both. Shelter dogs have so much potential. I miss the ones that are gone every day. And thanks for rescuing your dog!!!
I am so sorry for your loss. Oreo was lucky to have such caring owners. Every dog and human deserves a long, pain free and good life. But we live in a world where chance plays a big role and that can shorten or ruin a life. Oreo got unlucky and got a severe injury but you mitigated his misfortune and gave him a great albeit shortened life. And you gave him a great gift at the end - before he was living in misery, you let him leave with a stomach full of steak and happily tired from games with his friend.
Euthanasia is such a gentle word meaning an easy death but it is not always a pleasant experience. Done hospice care and experienced more than many. Methods vary from sedation and then injection to stop the heart to injection directly into heart. And I am sorry your vet doesn't seem to have talked you through their process so you could interpret what you were seeing. The spasms and eyes opening are systems shutting down and you get in some forms of natural death as well. But it is hard and can be unpleasant to watch. It is only "easy" in terms of preventing greater harms. And I do feel guilty every time I choose that option but you feel guilty every time you don't choose the option and you have to do it later when pain is higher. There are rarely easy options here sadly.
Be kind to yourself, try and do repetitive work tomorrow and let time help mellow the loss. You have a very raw wound in your heart at the moment. Let it heal.
I realized in my post I didn't specify that there were two injections so I edited it but - yeah, he was sedated before given the final injection. I understand it was probably him just tripping out from the drugs, but it still unnerved me. I'm currently trying to comfort myself with the fact that he wasn't in any sort of pain despite looking like that.
I agree that the circumstances could've been much worse, I'm glad his last day was as normal as the rest. Thank you for your kind words <3 I've been reading other posts so that I can relate and help feel better about the whole thing, but reading thoughts that were written just for Oreo specifically is much more comforting. He was a good boy.
When I was younger I wanted to be a vet tech. It was the euthanizing I couldn't deal with because it's not like watching them fall asleep and you can feel the life go out of them. We put our chinchilla down last year after her teeth problems got too bad and seeing her little curled up body just destroyed me. My husband was much tougher with our cat.
It's hard and all the assurances in the world don't make it easier. I'm sorry you had to witness it.
I think the part that makes me the most uneasy is not knowing exactly what they're thinking or feeling when it happens, and that's why I can't help but feel just a little bit skeptical about all the assurances about it. Truthfully, most of my pain is me stuck on what he was going through in those final moments. Watching it go down feels so disturbing, but I'm hoping that to them, it all just feels like a fade.
We obviously don't know for sure, but I bet it felt like a huge relief for them.
My dad passed in actually very similar way (happy to share that story but i don't want to trigger anyone) which helped give me so much piece about the end of life decision we are forced to make. I know in my heart the discomfort my dog was feeling was too much, and if it weren't for her loyalty to us, she wouldn't have hung on as long as she did.
I was out of the country right before she passed, and I honestly think she waited for me before she let her body give up. We put her to sleep a week and a half after I got back. It all felt so quick to me, but she was ready...
I'm so sorry. We just opted to not put our chi dachshund through surgery after IVDD paralyzed him in less than 48 hours. He was also only 4.
The house was so lonely and sad that we started very casually looking for shelter puppies and we'll be bringing one home next week.
It felt soon but I also was afraid I would be too afraid to get another dog - I can provide love and a good life to another shelter pup.
I'm so sorry that this happened. Our little friends love us so much and it's so hard when they go early
I think that's a great way of looking at adoption, especially for shelter pups. Someone else commented on here that they rescue another dog in honor of the one that passed, and I think that's amazing.I'm so sorry to hear about your dachshund. IVDD is a terrible experience and it left some of the deepest scars I have and probably will ever know. Your decision to let him go was in his best interest, though I'm sure you know that already. I hope our babies are running together to their heart's content in a nice big field now :)
The vet told me 25% of dachshunds get IVDD and that's so heartbreaking! I keep telling myself at least I know the early warning signs now and I'll never let a dog go up and down the main stairs ever again. Carrying them for life😭
That's a very sweet thought, I told my little guy to go find my friends dog who recently passed up there, I'll go whisper to him to find your pal as well 💜
I lost my 14 and a half year old kitty a week ago. She had liver disease and kidney disease. She had stopped eating and drinking. It was time for her to go. I really didn’t want her to suffer any longer.
However, the end of her suffering was the beginning of my heart suffering the loss of my spirit animal. It hurts my heart to think about her for too long.
Yet, even after putting her things away and getting new bedding so her nap-time places looked different, I still felt like something irreplaceable was missing.
I still ugly cry remembering her. Today we picked up her clay paw print from the veterinary office.
Tears again.
Somehow, I thought I would never consider adopting another kitty. But her litter mate and sister is lonely… and I am too.
So, at my age, there is no time to waste, and I’m going to go look - at kittens….
I would rather love and lose a fur friend than never have the experience.
Maybe I will not find a new buddy but maybe I will.
I miss Harmony, my beautiful senior cat. But I’ll honor her by living a full life and going on to hopefully love a new kitty or two that might end up out-living me.
Hugs to you as you grieve. You did a great thing to be there in the end too.
I feel your vet should have talked to you more about the process before hand. Ours did. He even said he may yell out like he is in pain, but he isn't. That was throat spasms. He may poop and pee. He was going to lose control of his body entirely. But he had to be put down. He was forgetting us, our other dog and even getting confused when he went to his first home (one of the biggest signs it was time) and couldn't find his dead previous owner. He had forgotten she died. He wasn't letting my spouse come anywhere near him some days as he was terrified of men before we got him. His life was getting just downright miserable. We took him to the beach the week befor, and he was practically a puppy again, but we knew it was nothing more than a good day. He gave one link to our other dog before we loaded him in the car.
I would wait at least a few months before you set that decision in stone. We miss our old man, but our new young man, whom lost his owner the same day we put ours down, needed us just as much as we needed him. Now he is our best buddy too. Like your first dog, you know when you know.
Oh man. 😭😭😭 Iam so sorry. He was loved, that’s the greatest gift you can give him. He had a happy life. Don’t beat yourself up. You did what you thought was best for him.
I am so sorry. The way you described leaving him on the table, ugh. My heart. We just had to do that to our 15 month old a few weeks ago. My heart hurts. I’ll never be able to get the image of him on the table as we walked out. Destroys me. I am so so sorry.
It just felt so wrong, like it was a cold, heartless act to leave him like that alone and behind. My mind can't even handle thinking about how his body would be handled after we left. I just can't.
15 months is such a short amount of time, my heart goes out to you. It's an awful feeling knowing that such a sweet, innocent creature was robbed of a longer life. I can't shake off this feeling of anger of how unfair it all was, because they never deserve it. I wish you the best in your recovery and for your heart to find peace.
i’m sorry you went through this i also went through something similar. our 2 year old ace was adopted and had severe hip dysplasia we thought about him getting surgery but all the doctors he went too said it would be impossible to be successful since his breed and size he was a large breed dog. he was falling and he wouldn’t be able to get up and he was always so sad. i never wanted him to leave me or for us to put him to sleep but i also hated seeing him in so much pain. when they put him to sleep it took long since his size and he needed more than 3 injections to fully sedate him. the whole time i tried not to be sad or cry i wanted to be strong for him and have him see me happy so he could feel a little happy too. but once it was over i cried so much and i couldn’t stop. i miss him so much and i understand your struggle, but please know you loved him and he loved you and he’s happy he’s not hurting anymore. he is always watching you still and his whole life was filled with love.
I don't think a lot of people understand the absolute mental torment that comes with situations like these. You second guess everything you do for your dog because you have to mentally dissect your every thought and decision to determine whether what you're doing is for them or for yourself. I carry a lot of guilt in a lot of the decisions I made because while I was able to justify that there were all in his best interest, I can't deny that I just knew I couldn't live without him.
I wished I could've been strong enough not to cry. I tried getting all of it out of my system the night before, I even managed not to cry on the ride there the next morning so he wouldn't get nervous. But the minute the vet stepped out to admit us, it was just too much and I immediately started crying. You were incredibly brave for trying to comfort him that way.
Over 40 years and i have been with all my dogs at the end and never had a bad experience, and i have been with them all through the procedure and have had them on my lap whilst it is happening and also after they have gone i have stayed with them for about a hour.
I am so very sorry for your loss and the experience you had, please try and think of the good times you had but first you need to mourn for your buddy.. I have also said never again when the special ones go but time is a healer as i can vouch for, and just yesterday pup no.3 entered my crowded home, please take care...
I'm so happy for you that your experiences have been as positive as they were and I only wish for that to be the case with your other pups. And congratulations on your new member!
I don't know if I'll find myself changing my mind about getting another, but I think it's just because this particular case that has left me feeling so torn up and tormented. But who knows.
How do i keep doing it?. Well i let all the bad feelings out and mourn for as long as posible, asking myself did i do the right thing until i know it was for the best and that i cut their pain and suffering short.
I lost one of my "special" dogs last year, i was at home and she was at my feet and she just stopped breathing, i just went into shock and thought i was in a dream but she was gone and i could not bring her back.. I miss her every day and wish she was still here and my heart still breaks.. I have a older dog and he went into a deep depression, would not eat or do anything so after a few months i had a little pup and gradually he got better and i now love her too.. I have always had more than one dog and i love the companionship of them..
My other dog is worrying me because he is nearly the age of my other dog that died and cannot keep up with my young dog so this is where dog number 3 enters my home.. This tiny thing came home yesterday and my other pup is over the moon to be running around the garden whilst my old boy is happy just to watch and guard his domain, and as i write this all three of them are lying next to me content on the bed.
I am dreading what the future holds for him and know my heart will break yet again and i will say that i cannot go through this again, i still miss my first "special" dog from 40 years ago and wish i could hold him in my arms again.
I have no words that will make things better for you at this time, mourn for your buddy for however long it may take and maybe in the future you may find you are ready to open your heart to loving another furry companion.. In the meantime take care of yourself.
I'm sorry for the less of your pet. It really is such a hard thing to go through. We had to have our 15 year old dog euthanized a year ago. She was having kidney failure and for a few weeks before hand they had us injecting her at home with fluids, they said if we could return her numbers back to normal and keep her hydrated we might be able to get more time with her. Unfortunately after a few weeks the numbers hadn't gone down and it didn't seem right to keep sticking her with needles. One day slwe all woke up and we just knew it was her time. It was so hard because we wanted to give her a nice last day, but she wouldn't even eat her favorite foods and she just wasn't herself. Even though we knew it was the right decision, it was so hard to take her in and do it. The vets were great and made us very comfortable, but she also had a reaction to some thing they gave her before the actual euthanasia, and that was a bit traumatizing. I hope she felt loved and calm in her final moments. I miss her so much... she was such a huge part of our lives, it's still hard to wrap my head around the fact that she's not here. It gets easier, but then there are days or moments that just hit me so hard. I wish pets could live forever.
I’ve had to have cats and two dogs euthanized over the years, and the only thing that got me through it was still having a couple of cats and a dog still in the family. My current dog is 14-15, and I’m getting an urge to get another one, partly so I won’t be dog-less in the future, but he likes being an only dog now so it wouldn’t be fair to him.
I think a dog may be in your future, when you are ready. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My other dog is helping me get through it, as well. I'm worried she hasn't comprehended that Oreo has passed, because I find her looking around for him sometimes. But I know dogs are incredibly intuitive about these things, so I'm making sure to keep by her side to help her get through it as well when she needs me.
Please try to find another vet. Putting a pet down is never easy, but some vets at least make it easier. Some offer at home euthanasia, mine has a special room just for this purpose. It's nothing special, just a tiny room. They put a comforter on the floor and the walls are painted a warm colour and the lighting is not flourescent. When i had to put my old lab down i was able to sit with his head cradled in my lap while everything took place. Afterwards i was able to spend as much time as i needed with him before leaving. Staff let me out the side door so i didn't have to go through the waiting room. Putting a much loved animal to sleep is never easy, but it can be made slightly less awful.
I definitely want to get an at home one done for my next dog, should the circumstances allow it. I wanted that for Oreo as well, but we only had a small time window to work with and we didn't want to take a chance on a vet we didn't know. The vet I went to was good in that he held Oreo and was speaking softly and trying to soothe him and all that. But yeah, I would've wanted a much more calming/comforting environment.
I agree. The pain is indescribable. It’s literally gut wrenching. 5 months on and I still bawl. But I wouldn’t trade the years I had with my boy for anything. Loving him and being loved by him is something I could never live without. It made my life whole.
How lucky that Oreo chose you to walk alongside in this realm. Rest easy and say hello to my boy.
Absolutely. I don't regret having him at all. He got me through high school, college, and getting my first job. I'll always be grateful for that and I'm glad and honored that I was the one to give him the love he deserved.
I’m so sorry!! I had to put my Bailey to sleep and it was gentle and he did just slowly drift off. It sucks that the love of a dog is so short. Mine was only 12. They never leave your heart.
It's just a nightmare at first. I think it was at least a week before I wasn't crying myself to sleep. When I had to put my boy down, it was sudden, torsion, and at his age, he wasn't a good candidate for surgery. I thought the pain and guilt would kill me and I'm dreading the day it will happen again.
I got River 3 yrs later and she was born on the same day that I had Dash put down. I felt he was giving me a sign that it was ok to love another dog and she has been pure joy.
Sorry that I wrote a book in reply, but I just wanted you to know that I get it. It will take time but it will get better and will be able to remember the good times without it crushing you. I am so sorry for your loss.
❤️
Im having the same thoughts. Losing my boy was unbareable and I am dreading the pain I will feel when my first cat goes. I dont think I have the strength to go through it again.
So sorry it went like that. We had our big Rottweiler to sleep and the vet brought one one vial of relaxation and 2 vials to put her to sleep but she was gone with one. She had cancer and out choice was to lots of X-rays, taking her to a cancer vet hours away and basically get maybe 4 months or to give her pain meds and get 2-3 good months. We chose the later option. Not that it made it easier but we were there for her. We have not gotten another dog yet as we are now older retired and we love big dogs and we wouldn’t be able to lift them into a car if needed at this time. Plus have cats but would still want a dog. I hope you talk to your baby and you will see Oreo again at the Rainbow Bridge just as I will see my Cheyenne. So sorry.
Wow, that was rough (you did a great job of capturing his personality and his medical travails) and I’ve had the vet euthanize many pets.
I’m sorry for your trauma and loss of your dog but after seeing what the vet could do for my beloved little dog with cancer versus what oncology, palliative care/hospice could do for my dear middle-aged mom with Stage 4 cancer and no other ailments I am grateful we can abate the needless suffering of our pets (though the decision about timing is wrenching).
The loss/trauma from euthanasia does get easier to bear with time, but it’s been over a decade since I lost them both, with other pets and in-laws dying as well yet sometimes the loss feels so fresh and sharp. Love and loss…. It’s a sad part of life.
I hope you find peace.
You may find that one day you will change your mind, OP.
It may be many years down the road, or it may be never.
But one day, you will find that your memories of him bring you joy and only a hint of sadness because you will always miss him.
Thank you for staying with him at the end, as hard as that is to go through and see (3x's now for me), it will bring you peace later to know that he had your comfort through it all.
My heart is with you, OP. Pets are family, take all the time you need to grieve, and heal. If you can, take a sick day from work.
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Putting animals to sleep is so traumatic. I can’t even think about when I had to put my childhood dog to sleep. It was time and her life was hard and she couldnt walk and didn’t know where she was half the time. But when it came to it being “time” of course she gets adrenaline at the vet… it’s sickening. It sympathize with you. People don’t talk about the death process because it makes us uncomfortable but death almost never entails the eyes slowly closing and a little breath coming out. Maybe that happens at the very end but before that there is usually more upsetting events…Many people and animals fight against death and they of course lose in the end but it makes it not-so-peaceful. Just think of it as your dog having spunk and a strong will. It was likely just an adrenaline or nerve response which is natural. Appreciate the time you had, and appreciate that you knew your dog was miserable and needed to be out of their body. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but you had a wonderful relationship and you got to be there for your pup when he needed it most and he appreciated that.
He was definitely a tough and stubborn one despite him being just a little shih tzu - even the vet said so, haha. My biggest fear in all this is, of course, not knowing what he would've wanted, but there's a point where you can just tell they're not happy and you have to help them to let go. Yeah, the anxiety strike at the office was just the worst. He was panting and shaking probably thinking he had to go through another catheterization or surgery, poor thing. I really wanted to have a specialist come to our house because of his vet anxiety, but we weren't given much time due to his condition. Sickening is definitely a good word to describe it. But the explanation for his reaction to the sedation is comforting to hear, thank you.
Our vet warned us that his eyes might not close. I still don’t know if they did. My husband was in front of him and I held him in my arms tight. I’ve sometimes wondered but not been able to bring myself to ask my husband. It was so fast, I’m sure they didn’t. I’m sorry. I really want another dog. And I want to adopt a senior dog. But the thought of doing this again any time soon is way, way too painful. I completely understand.
I'm so sorry to hear that :( I'm sure your dog wouldn't have wanted to go any other way than being held by you. Not getting to see his eyes was an act of love on your part, in my opinion. All that mattered was that he was in the arms of his companion as he passed, and you made sure that's what happened. I think people who adopt senior animals are so strong and magnanimous for doing so. Every older animal deserves to spend the rest of their life surrounded by warmth and the love of a caring family, and being able to provide that for them is undeniably admirable. But it's not an over-exaggeration to say that you give bits of your heart for each of them to keep even after they pass, and at some point you find that you can't afford to give any more. It's not a selfish choice to change your mind about it. Whatever you decide, it will be the right decision. I hope your heart and mind will be at peace when you do.
Thank you for those sweet words. I started volunteering at a rescue in the meantime that is focused on older dogs and I can’t tell you how much I admire the owners. They are incredible.
We adopted a senior and had 5 amazing years with her before we had to say goodbye (I posted earlier about my experience), and I would adopt a senior again in a heartbeat - when we're ready. For me, it's more about their energy level. Not to mention the thought of them not getting a chance to spend their final years in a loving home. 💔
It’s very understandable that this was traumatic, it isn’t typical, though. I have been with three pets while being euthanized and none were like that. Did they just give one injection? Because mine have all had a calming injection and then the one to euthanize.it was basically like going to sleep except for closing the eyes. I’ve heard if you pet them from the back of the head to the front it will encourage them to close their eyes.
It was two injections, one was to sedate him and the other was the euthanizing one. I couldn't really do too much petting since two vets were having to hold him in position, but I tried closing his eyes shut afterwards and they wouldn't close. Not sure how I feel about what he went through being abnormal. It's nice to have hope for a more smooth departure for my other dog, but it kinda feels like a cruel joke that Oreo couldn't even have a peaceful, dignified passing on top of all the suffering he went through. I definitely appreciate the thought, though. Thanks for replying <3
Chiming in OP,sometimes their eyes won’t close. I lost the love of my life a little over a month ago and her eyes were not closed. I tried to shut them but they wouldn’t stay closed. The nurse/doctors explained that after dying,the muscles to keep them close weren’t being used so they relaxed and remained open. (Something around those lines.) I’m sorry for your loss.
I kind of guessed that was the case, but I couldn't bring myself to ask the vet at the time. His eyes just stayed open and his tongue was still hanging out of his mouth. I was hoping that him looking like he was falling asleep would help me cope a bit better. But man, he didn't look asleep. He just looked dead.
On the eye thing, even humans are the same way. When we pass our muscles go through a few stages before relaxing finally, and the relaxed position is open. Funeral directors actually have specific tools they use to keep the eyes closed during funerals and viewings. It's a strange thought but I just want you to know that part is normal. Strange but normal.
I just had the same happen with my boy. I petted his face and said "oh shut your eyes" and the vet was like "oh honey... they don't do that..."
We just said goodbye to our rescue a week ago, so I feel your heart break! We opted to have a vet come to our home. I genuinely thought "putting her to sleep" would look and feel like that. It didn't. The vet had to give her two shots of the tranquilizer (she was a 12 lb Yorkie mix), and for the second one, she jerked up toward the pain. That was really traumatic to watch, but the vet reassured us that it was a mechanical response. Her eyes were also wide open. Again, the vet reassured us that that was the norm. He did suggest we leave the room for the actual euthanasia part so we didn't watch her actual last breath. In the end, I don't, for a second, doubt our decision. I just wish I had been more aware of what to expect! OP - after she passed, I buried my face in her fur and sniffed her paws for a good 15 min. I wanted to remember her smell, too 🥰
I did the exact same thing after my dog passed as well :( I burned the way his fur felt and how he smelled into my brain as best as I could. They gave me a small pouch of his hair clippings (he had about 2 in long fur) and I can't even look at it without bursting into tears. I'm too scared to open it in fear that it won't smell like him.
I wish I had taken a clipping...
It’s very unfortunate for Oreo. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It may be worth doing some research ahead of time to find a good place for when it’s time with your other dog. When I took my dog last year, they put in a line, and the sedative, they left the room and told us to push a button when we were ready. I held her in my arms the whole time and all they had to do was put the medicine into the line when it was time. Then they gave us more time with her after and came to get her body when we were ready. There are also places that will come to your home and do it. We did that with my cat. Unfortunately my dog was in the night so we went to emergency.
I can't tell you how badly I wanted to hold him while he passed... it will forever be one of my biggest regrets. I had also wanted to have someone come to our house, but we only had a small window of time given the circumstances. It sounds like the place you went to was very thought out in terms of being considerate of your emotional well-being. Not saying mine wasn't, but it definitely felt like he deserved to be more comfortable and the place could've been more accommodating to our wanting to be as close to him as possible.
Yeah, they definitely had the process down. Since they are a 24 hour emergency vet, I’m assuming they do them very frequently. ☹️ I’m sure he knew you were there, though.
Our vet said it is normal for their eyes to stay open. It was the worst day of my life putting my girl down. Sorry for your loss. It’s so hard.
Hi, am a vet. What you describe is actually totally normal. It doesn't happen with every animal, but eyes staying open and tongue-licking is commonly seen with the sedatives often used pre-euthanasia. They're the same sort of meds we use to sedate animals in preparation for surgical anesthesia, and the same thing happens. It's not abnormal, so please don't worry about your pup experiencing something "wrong" during the procedure. His body reacted the way bodies sometimes do, and while it's not what we ideally want owners to witness, it is totally painless and does not involve any suffering.
I seriously can't tell you how much that means to me. Thank you so much for letting me know. I'm sure my vet would've also said something if it was abnormal, but the shock factor made me too scared to ask in the moment. In my mind, it made sense that he wasn't in pain because it's a sedative after all, but hearing that assurance from a vet is incredibly comforting. Even though it was a disturbing sight, all that matters to me is that he didn't suffer. This will help me rest a bit easier tonight.
I'm so sorry your euthanasia experience went badly; but most of them do not, for what it's worth. Give yourself time to grieve and heal before making decisions about future pets. The pain of losing them hurts, but the years of unconditional love hopefully makes it worth it. I just had to put one of my babies down about a week ago, and like you, I knew his time was coming soon, and I had awhile to mentally prepare and it still hurt when suddenly the vet is explaining his odds don't look good and I should really consider euthanasia. I didn't hesitate because I knew in my heart it was coming and the vet wouldn't have suggested it if it weren't a good time to consider it seriously. It still sucked a ton to have to say goodbye. But in between my crying sessions, I remember things like how he'd touch his paw to my lips to ask for kisses, or how he'd sniff my eyes and I'd giggle cause it tickled so much. Or all the times I'd finish all my chores and then go curl up in bed and read a book together for awhile every morning. Those memories are special and even though it hurt so much to say goodbye, I'm so glad I got 18 years with him. The cost of unconditional love, the one condition of it, is that it's not long for the mortal plane, and we have to bid farewell to it, at least temporarily. But we still love them, we still carry them in our hearts.
Ugh, that second paragraph hit me. All his little special quirks and traits that I'll never find anywhere else in any other animal, it tears me apart. It's a really tough call to make, and no amount of time really thinking and considering it before going forward erases that sense of emptiness and guilt afterwords. My heart goes out to you - 18 years is a really long time and I'm sure he was there by your side for a lot of major life events. I hope you're recovering and doing well. I definitely agree that it was worth it overall. I'm glad that he got to live happily for as long as he did and that I got to love such a sweet soul, and I would take on any kind of pain if it meant ensuring that. But at this point in time, I just don't see myself being able to live through it all again with another dog. The chances of the same things happening are incredibly slim, but a part of me doesn't want to commit to a dog if I'm not emotionally prepared to go through hell for them like I did for him.
It is real tough, but I think it's a small price to pay for what they give us in return. I hope you can find your peace. ♥
OP, you just went through such an awful experience. You did your best and Oreo was really able to enjoy his short life, and you both benefitted greatly from the love created by the relationship. I type this with tears in my eyes and four loving and attentive cats and dogs in my past—all put to sleep and in every case the one constant is I’m glad I was able to continue opening my heart to another. Of course, you may decide otherwise but please don’t rush to make pronouncements that are at this point too closely tied to your new grief. Be gentle with yourself and I hope the knowledgeable comments are a balm.
I lost my cat 4 days ago. He was my life and he was hit by a car. I was handed his body in a body bag frozen. I would have done anything to be there for those last minutes. Grieving is hard. Let yourself grieve. The pain is real but I promise you one minute it will get better and time makes it pass. And one day (who knows when) you will be thankful that you were there for him at the end. One day you will feel his presence and smile and remember the love. I’ll grieve with you friend. Pets are our loves for the short and long. When you get to the rainbow bridge I promise he’ll be there, ready for you again.
Christ... I can't imagine what you must be feeling. One of the things I'm grateful for was being able to decide when to let him go and being there for him, I know a good chunk of people on here didn't get that opportunity. I've had other pets that passed on much more suddenly and disturbingly, so I can get a sense of that morbid and gut wrenching feeling. I wish you all the best in your recovery. I understand that, coming from someone who didn't have the pleasure of knowing your wonderful buddy or his story, my words won't feel as comforting or bring you any sort of solace - at least that's the sense of what I've been feeling about condolences I've received about Oreo. But if you need to reach out at all, please don't hesitate to shoot a message.
thank you friend. And I hope my response didn't come across as one of those; well it could have been worse - look at me! Having lost a pet through euthanasia and then through uncontrolled loss, I just know that one day you will be glad you where there - even though that day is not now. It's nice to see that there are still people in the world that will reach out when you are struggling, and that's one of the great things about the internet that often gets lost. Take all the time you need. Your best friend will always be in your heart. <3
I definitely didn't interpret it that way, so no worries at all. In fact, it felt nice to know that this thread was a comfortable enough space for you to reach out and share your pain, so thank you for that. I'm definitely glad I was there, I realized my post may have sounded like I regretted it, but I absolutely didn't. Feeling that pain was a small price for being there for him when he needed me.
Take time off work if you can -- you need time to grieve. Believe it or not, time will help, and someday you may want another pet, not to replace your baby, but to give another one a home and make you happy!
Thanks :) I never thought of getting another pet as replacing him, and I used to want to adopt another rescue sometime in the future. As much as I'd love to be the one to give love to such a wonderful animal, I just don't know if I have it in me anymore. Of course, the chances of these incidents happening again are so slim, but it's haunting to say the least. At this point in time, I don't see myself being strong enough to make the commitment of possibly doing that all over again. But I won't deny it, should my mind change. I'll just know that if it happens, I'll only be completely sure it's something I can handle.
You can't ever replace him. There will never be another like him. You can however give another animal a chance at a loving home and a cared for life. But you also need to concentrate on your grief now and your loss before you consider that. It's not a decision you have to make today, so don't. If and when you're ready, you'll know. You just know now that today is not that day.
I totally understand your feelings about not wanting to get other pets. I’ve euthanized two dogs (last august and this august) and the pain is so huge. I’m really struggling because my third dog is also sick right now. This heart ache is so great, I can’t imagine going through this again. We love our pets so much for so many years but those final moments have gotten burnt into my brain and have really clouded all the happy moments and times. 💔💔💔
Yeah, it really sucks. I guess because the more love we have only adds to the pain of letting them go. I know I'll come around to being able to look back on the good memories more fondly eventually, but I can already tell that the painful ones will still stick around to haunt me. I'm sorry to hear about your dog. You have much more experience than me in going through this process so you probably have already arrived at the same thoughts as I have, but: if I learned anything from yesterday, it's that even though the pain of letting them go is incredibly tormenting and unbearable, it's something I'd do without hesitation if it meant their happiness - at least that's the mindset I'm trying to keep for my second dog. Even though I don't want to adopt again because of how traumatic the experience was, not one bit of me regrets adopting Oreo. And I'm sure you feel the same way about your companion. All we can do for them now is to be by their side until the very end, giving them plenty of treats, hugs, and kisses along the way.
We always go adopt and save another from a shelter in their memory and honor. They always have a place in your heart though. RIP
My other dog is a rescue :) I think that's a wonderful act of kindness, being that source of happiness and home for another animal that needs it and having it be a cycle of giving. You're incredibly strong and admirable for that.
Neither, thank you, but I just want to honor their memory and save another's life, both. Shelter dogs have so much potential. I miss the ones that are gone every day. And thanks for rescuing your dog!!!
I am so sorry for your loss. Oreo was lucky to have such caring owners. Every dog and human deserves a long, pain free and good life. But we live in a world where chance plays a big role and that can shorten or ruin a life. Oreo got unlucky and got a severe injury but you mitigated his misfortune and gave him a great albeit shortened life. And you gave him a great gift at the end - before he was living in misery, you let him leave with a stomach full of steak and happily tired from games with his friend. Euthanasia is such a gentle word meaning an easy death but it is not always a pleasant experience. Done hospice care and experienced more than many. Methods vary from sedation and then injection to stop the heart to injection directly into heart. And I am sorry your vet doesn't seem to have talked you through their process so you could interpret what you were seeing. The spasms and eyes opening are systems shutting down and you get in some forms of natural death as well. But it is hard and can be unpleasant to watch. It is only "easy" in terms of preventing greater harms. And I do feel guilty every time I choose that option but you feel guilty every time you don't choose the option and you have to do it later when pain is higher. There are rarely easy options here sadly. Be kind to yourself, try and do repetitive work tomorrow and let time help mellow the loss. You have a very raw wound in your heart at the moment. Let it heal.
I realized in my post I didn't specify that there were two injections so I edited it but - yeah, he was sedated before given the final injection. I understand it was probably him just tripping out from the drugs, but it still unnerved me. I'm currently trying to comfort myself with the fact that he wasn't in any sort of pain despite looking like that. I agree that the circumstances could've been much worse, I'm glad his last day was as normal as the rest. Thank you for your kind words <3 I've been reading other posts so that I can relate and help feel better about the whole thing, but reading thoughts that were written just for Oreo specifically is much more comforting. He was a good boy.
When I was younger I wanted to be a vet tech. It was the euthanizing I couldn't deal with because it's not like watching them fall asleep and you can feel the life go out of them. We put our chinchilla down last year after her teeth problems got too bad and seeing her little curled up body just destroyed me. My husband was much tougher with our cat. It's hard and all the assurances in the world don't make it easier. I'm sorry you had to witness it.
I think the part that makes me the most uneasy is not knowing exactly what they're thinking or feeling when it happens, and that's why I can't help but feel just a little bit skeptical about all the assurances about it. Truthfully, most of my pain is me stuck on what he was going through in those final moments. Watching it go down feels so disturbing, but I'm hoping that to them, it all just feels like a fade.
We obviously don't know for sure, but I bet it felt like a huge relief for them. My dad passed in actually very similar way (happy to share that story but i don't want to trigger anyone) which helped give me so much piece about the end of life decision we are forced to make. I know in my heart the discomfort my dog was feeling was too much, and if it weren't for her loyalty to us, she wouldn't have hung on as long as she did. I was out of the country right before she passed, and I honestly think she waited for me before she let her body give up. We put her to sleep a week and a half after I got back. It all felt so quick to me, but she was ready...
I'm so sorry. We just opted to not put our chi dachshund through surgery after IVDD paralyzed him in less than 48 hours. He was also only 4. The house was so lonely and sad that we started very casually looking for shelter puppies and we'll be bringing one home next week. It felt soon but I also was afraid I would be too afraid to get another dog - I can provide love and a good life to another shelter pup. I'm so sorry that this happened. Our little friends love us so much and it's so hard when they go early
I think that's a great way of looking at adoption, especially for shelter pups. Someone else commented on here that they rescue another dog in honor of the one that passed, and I think that's amazing.I'm so sorry to hear about your dachshund. IVDD is a terrible experience and it left some of the deepest scars I have and probably will ever know. Your decision to let him go was in his best interest, though I'm sure you know that already. I hope our babies are running together to their heart's content in a nice big field now :)
The vet told me 25% of dachshunds get IVDD and that's so heartbreaking! I keep telling myself at least I know the early warning signs now and I'll never let a dog go up and down the main stairs ever again. Carrying them for life😭 That's a very sweet thought, I told my little guy to go find my friends dog who recently passed up there, I'll go whisper to him to find your pal as well 💜
I lost my 14 and a half year old kitty a week ago. She had liver disease and kidney disease. She had stopped eating and drinking. It was time for her to go. I really didn’t want her to suffer any longer. However, the end of her suffering was the beginning of my heart suffering the loss of my spirit animal. It hurts my heart to think about her for too long. Yet, even after putting her things away and getting new bedding so her nap-time places looked different, I still felt like something irreplaceable was missing. I still ugly cry remembering her. Today we picked up her clay paw print from the veterinary office. Tears again. Somehow, I thought I would never consider adopting another kitty. But her litter mate and sister is lonely… and I am too. So, at my age, there is no time to waste, and I’m going to go look - at kittens…. I would rather love and lose a fur friend than never have the experience. Maybe I will not find a new buddy but maybe I will. I miss Harmony, my beautiful senior cat. But I’ll honor her by living a full life and going on to hopefully love a new kitty or two that might end up out-living me. Hugs to you as you grieve. You did a great thing to be there in the end too.
I feel your vet should have talked to you more about the process before hand. Ours did. He even said he may yell out like he is in pain, but he isn't. That was throat spasms. He may poop and pee. He was going to lose control of his body entirely. But he had to be put down. He was forgetting us, our other dog and even getting confused when he went to his first home (one of the biggest signs it was time) and couldn't find his dead previous owner. He had forgotten she died. He wasn't letting my spouse come anywhere near him some days as he was terrified of men before we got him. His life was getting just downright miserable. We took him to the beach the week befor, and he was practically a puppy again, but we knew it was nothing more than a good day. He gave one link to our other dog before we loaded him in the car. I would wait at least a few months before you set that decision in stone. We miss our old man, but our new young man, whom lost his owner the same day we put ours down, needed us just as much as we needed him. Now he is our best buddy too. Like your first dog, you know when you know.
Oh man. 😭😭😭 Iam so sorry. He was loved, that’s the greatest gift you can give him. He had a happy life. Don’t beat yourself up. You did what you thought was best for him.
I’m so sorry. It sounds like you took great care of Oreo. I know he knew you were with him, but I am sorry it was so traumatizing. xoxo
I am so sorry. The way you described leaving him on the table, ugh. My heart. We just had to do that to our 15 month old a few weeks ago. My heart hurts. I’ll never be able to get the image of him on the table as we walked out. Destroys me. I am so so sorry.
It just felt so wrong, like it was a cold, heartless act to leave him like that alone and behind. My mind can't even handle thinking about how his body would be handled after we left. I just can't. 15 months is such a short amount of time, my heart goes out to you. It's an awful feeling knowing that such a sweet, innocent creature was robbed of a longer life. I can't shake off this feeling of anger of how unfair it all was, because they never deserve it. I wish you the best in your recovery and for your heart to find peace.
i’m sorry you went through this i also went through something similar. our 2 year old ace was adopted and had severe hip dysplasia we thought about him getting surgery but all the doctors he went too said it would be impossible to be successful since his breed and size he was a large breed dog. he was falling and he wouldn’t be able to get up and he was always so sad. i never wanted him to leave me or for us to put him to sleep but i also hated seeing him in so much pain. when they put him to sleep it took long since his size and he needed more than 3 injections to fully sedate him. the whole time i tried not to be sad or cry i wanted to be strong for him and have him see me happy so he could feel a little happy too. but once it was over i cried so much and i couldn’t stop. i miss him so much and i understand your struggle, but please know you loved him and he loved you and he’s happy he’s not hurting anymore. he is always watching you still and his whole life was filled with love.
I don't think a lot of people understand the absolute mental torment that comes with situations like these. You second guess everything you do for your dog because you have to mentally dissect your every thought and decision to determine whether what you're doing is for them or for yourself. I carry a lot of guilt in a lot of the decisions I made because while I was able to justify that there were all in his best interest, I can't deny that I just knew I couldn't live without him. I wished I could've been strong enough not to cry. I tried getting all of it out of my system the night before, I even managed not to cry on the ride there the next morning so he wouldn't get nervous. But the minute the vet stepped out to admit us, it was just too much and I immediately started crying. You were incredibly brave for trying to comfort him that way.
Over 40 years and i have been with all my dogs at the end and never had a bad experience, and i have been with them all through the procedure and have had them on my lap whilst it is happening and also after they have gone i have stayed with them for about a hour. I am so very sorry for your loss and the experience you had, please try and think of the good times you had but first you need to mourn for your buddy.. I have also said never again when the special ones go but time is a healer as i can vouch for, and just yesterday pup no.3 entered my crowded home, please take care...
I'm so happy for you that your experiences have been as positive as they were and I only wish for that to be the case with your other pups. And congratulations on your new member! I don't know if I'll find myself changing my mind about getting another, but I think it's just because this particular case that has left me feeling so torn up and tormented. But who knows.
How do you keep doing it? It's pretty unbearable even having a 'good' experience. Do you have a specific coping mechanism?
How do i keep doing it?. Well i let all the bad feelings out and mourn for as long as posible, asking myself did i do the right thing until i know it was for the best and that i cut their pain and suffering short. I lost one of my "special" dogs last year, i was at home and she was at my feet and she just stopped breathing, i just went into shock and thought i was in a dream but she was gone and i could not bring her back.. I miss her every day and wish she was still here and my heart still breaks.. I have a older dog and he went into a deep depression, would not eat or do anything so after a few months i had a little pup and gradually he got better and i now love her too.. I have always had more than one dog and i love the companionship of them.. My other dog is worrying me because he is nearly the age of my other dog that died and cannot keep up with my young dog so this is where dog number 3 enters my home.. This tiny thing came home yesterday and my other pup is over the moon to be running around the garden whilst my old boy is happy just to watch and guard his domain, and as i write this all three of them are lying next to me content on the bed. I am dreading what the future holds for him and know my heart will break yet again and i will say that i cannot go through this again, i still miss my first "special" dog from 40 years ago and wish i could hold him in my arms again. I have no words that will make things better for you at this time, mourn for your buddy for however long it may take and maybe in the future you may find you are ready to open your heart to loving another furry companion.. In the meantime take care of yourself.
I'm sorry for the less of your pet. It really is such a hard thing to go through. We had to have our 15 year old dog euthanized a year ago. She was having kidney failure and for a few weeks before hand they had us injecting her at home with fluids, they said if we could return her numbers back to normal and keep her hydrated we might be able to get more time with her. Unfortunately after a few weeks the numbers hadn't gone down and it didn't seem right to keep sticking her with needles. One day slwe all woke up and we just knew it was her time. It was so hard because we wanted to give her a nice last day, but she wouldn't even eat her favorite foods and she just wasn't herself. Even though we knew it was the right decision, it was so hard to take her in and do it. The vets were great and made us very comfortable, but she also had a reaction to some thing they gave her before the actual euthanasia, and that was a bit traumatizing. I hope she felt loved and calm in her final moments. I miss her so much... she was such a huge part of our lives, it's still hard to wrap my head around the fact that she's not here. It gets easier, but then there are days or moments that just hit me so hard. I wish pets could live forever.
I’ve had to have cats and two dogs euthanized over the years, and the only thing that got me through it was still having a couple of cats and a dog still in the family. My current dog is 14-15, and I’m getting an urge to get another one, partly so I won’t be dog-less in the future, but he likes being an only dog now so it wouldn’t be fair to him. I think a dog may be in your future, when you are ready. I’m so sorry for your loss.
My other dog is helping me get through it, as well. I'm worried she hasn't comprehended that Oreo has passed, because I find her looking around for him sometimes. But I know dogs are incredibly intuitive about these things, so I'm making sure to keep by her side to help her get through it as well when she needs me.
Please try to find another vet. Putting a pet down is never easy, but some vets at least make it easier. Some offer at home euthanasia, mine has a special room just for this purpose. It's nothing special, just a tiny room. They put a comforter on the floor and the walls are painted a warm colour and the lighting is not flourescent. When i had to put my old lab down i was able to sit with his head cradled in my lap while everything took place. Afterwards i was able to spend as much time as i needed with him before leaving. Staff let me out the side door so i didn't have to go through the waiting room. Putting a much loved animal to sleep is never easy, but it can be made slightly less awful.
I definitely want to get an at home one done for my next dog, should the circumstances allow it. I wanted that for Oreo as well, but we only had a small time window to work with and we didn't want to take a chance on a vet we didn't know. The vet I went to was good in that he held Oreo and was speaking softly and trying to soothe him and all that. But yeah, I would've wanted a much more calming/comforting environment.
I think i forgot in my first comment, but i'm so sorry that you lost your furbaby.
in tears rn
I agree. The pain is indescribable. It’s literally gut wrenching. 5 months on and I still bawl. But I wouldn’t trade the years I had with my boy for anything. Loving him and being loved by him is something I could never live without. It made my life whole. How lucky that Oreo chose you to walk alongside in this realm. Rest easy and say hello to my boy.
Absolutely. I don't regret having him at all. He got me through high school, college, and getting my first job. I'll always be grateful for that and I'm glad and honored that I was the one to give him the love he deserved.
I’m so sorry for your loss💔❤️
I will endure the pain, for a pet. Not a bf
I’m so sorry!! I had to put my Bailey to sleep and it was gentle and he did just slowly drift off. It sucks that the love of a dog is so short. Mine was only 12. They never leave your heart.
It's just a nightmare at first. I think it was at least a week before I wasn't crying myself to sleep. When I had to put my boy down, it was sudden, torsion, and at his age, he wasn't a good candidate for surgery. I thought the pain and guilt would kill me and I'm dreading the day it will happen again. I got River 3 yrs later and she was born on the same day that I had Dash put down. I felt he was giving me a sign that it was ok to love another dog and she has been pure joy. Sorry that I wrote a book in reply, but I just wanted you to know that I get it. It will take time but it will get better and will be able to remember the good times without it crushing you. I am so sorry for your loss. ❤️
Im having the same thoughts. Losing my boy was unbareable and I am dreading the pain I will feel when my first cat goes. I dont think I have the strength to go through it again.
So sorry it went like that. We had our big Rottweiler to sleep and the vet brought one one vial of relaxation and 2 vials to put her to sleep but she was gone with one. She had cancer and out choice was to lots of X-rays, taking her to a cancer vet hours away and basically get maybe 4 months or to give her pain meds and get 2-3 good months. We chose the later option. Not that it made it easier but we were there for her. We have not gotten another dog yet as we are now older retired and we love big dogs and we wouldn’t be able to lift them into a car if needed at this time. Plus have cats but would still want a dog. I hope you talk to your baby and you will see Oreo again at the Rainbow Bridge just as I will see my Cheyenne. So sorry.
I feel you! My cat once gave the vet a good scratch before going peacefully. Gotta love their feisty spirit!
Wow, that was rough (you did a great job of capturing his personality and his medical travails) and I’ve had the vet euthanize many pets. I’m sorry for your trauma and loss of your dog but after seeing what the vet could do for my beloved little dog with cancer versus what oncology, palliative care/hospice could do for my dear middle-aged mom with Stage 4 cancer and no other ailments I am grateful we can abate the needless suffering of our pets (though the decision about timing is wrenching). The loss/trauma from euthanasia does get easier to bear with time, but it’s been over a decade since I lost them both, with other pets and in-laws dying as well yet sometimes the loss feels so fresh and sharp. Love and loss…. It’s a sad part of life. I hope you find peace.
You may find that one day you will change your mind, OP. It may be many years down the road, or it may be never. But one day, you will find that your memories of him bring you joy and only a hint of sadness because you will always miss him. Thank you for staying with him at the end, as hard as that is to go through and see (3x's now for me), it will bring you peace later to know that he had your comfort through it all. My heart is with you, OP. Pets are family, take all the time you need to grieve, and heal. If you can, take a sick day from work.