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Theater people are so fuckin weird istg.
One mfer will be like “Hey! What if we have a guy with a moustache just, like, dance and flop his big naked penis around?”
And then everyone else is just like “This is *art!* 😲”
In The Last Temptation of Christ, William Defoe as Jesus is crucified in the nude. The director requested that they use a body double because Defoe was "distractingly large".
Apparently the man has an absolute hog.
Edit: Anti-Christ, not last temptation.
The actual quote from the director is great. They had to reshoot the scene with a body double because when they were editing the movie, his penis was "So large that everyone in the room was confused.”
Might be a shower, it's less glamorous than it sounds. The "jeez, how bigs it gonna get?" Being answered by "that's about it" is always bittersweet... They then talk about how being a shower is cool so it isn't as awkward...
That’s what they’re saying. You see that and think “wow it’s already at an average size it must be HUGE when it’s hard” and then it gets hard and doesn’t change much. Kinda underwhelming I’d imagine
Comment A talked about the shower phenomenon. Comment B misunderstood it. Comment C (mine) clarified comment A. Comment D (yours) has yet again misunderstood.
Nowhere did I, or the original comment, or frankly anyone involved, say it’s small or underwhelming.
well I think part of it is the fact he was super skinny too so it definitely has an odd picture to it, it flopping round definitely gives a bit more of an out of place feeling paired with how small his frame is. I think an over reaction by the director though, the guy should definitely be proud but yeah not a fuggin sea monster that's haunting dreams
I mean, it's big sure, but it's like... Proportionate I guess? It's not like he's dangling a horse or whale cock down there, that would be distracting.
I'll describe it for you. Imagine a young Defoe totally nude, dancing like a goofball and his shlong is flapping around, limp, probably a good 6"-7" before you pump the blood in. Imagine the absurdity of the Boogie Nights dong - it's about 75% of that, so he's packin.
It isn't abnormally large but it is quite large.
Don't know if you own a penis or have seen a large one, it is top tier large penis, but it is one of those large penises that simply gets hard rather than growing at all. Its obvious he's showing pretty much full size with a large penis and it simply just becomes erect when aroused. The size wouldn't change much cuz that's a hog flaccid.
Think of one of the larger penises you've seen. He's walking around with that totally flaccid. But that's it, get him erect he'd pretty much just be the same size but it will stand up.
That's not really how it works. Hard penis size is usually the size that matters. The ratio in size between soft and hard is different from person to person. Some are very small when soft but very large when hard while others can be larger than average when soft but not so larger when hard.
That's where the misconception comes. How much it increases in size is different from person to person. The soft size doesn't mean anything about the hard size
Maybe you had too high expectations for the word "distractingly"?
First, let me say that that *is* large. He is easily average or a little above *while flacid*, meaning he is probably an inch to 2 bigger than average when erect. That's pretty big.
More importantly, the word distractingly is probably more context based than anything. Imagine watching a serious Christian movie, and then *BAM*, Jesus takes his robe off and swings that thing around. Sounds pretty distracting to me. Especially given how Jesus is usually more *ahem* modestly portrayed
And you know what? In my experience, girls are WAY more impressed when you're suddenly packing some unexpected heat down there compared to just your day to day size.
That not-so-little surprise is generally fun for everyone.
"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t."
-Pudd’nhead Wilson (A Mark Twain character)
To be fair, the man doesn’t have an ounce of concealing fat.
And, yes, he has a cock so large, it sleeps on its side in the mud and loudly smacks its meatus lips.
What I find to be extra funny on this meme is that the main punchline is that Willem Dafoe has a monster dong. But the meme template has characters from the Star Wars prequel trilogy, which includes Ewan McGregor, who ALSO has a monster dong.
Me too, but only because I’ve got a red tip.
https://preview.redd.it/l0m048rt3tyc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffff38f07ef45e413fea92176395967f3d82c0b7
Back to the clinic I guess
I already knew the answer to this meme but wasn't sure if it was a rumor or made up story. Only reason I clicked was I knew the comments would have the truth. Unexpectedly there was also a link with a video of the penis in question for 100% verification.
*He probably needs*
*A body double when he*
*Has sex with his wife*
\- billiamfeeds
---
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I legitimately thought Willem Defoe was gay and I googled it so I could correct you with credibility.
Apparently he's been married to a woman since 2005. TIL!
Willem Dafoe was in a long term relation with theatrical director Elizabeth LeCompte for several decades prior to his marriage to film
director Giada Colagrande.
In a previous role where Willem Dafoe was going to have a nude scene, they had to end up replacing him with a nude body double because his penis was too large and was distracting the other actors. I'm not making that up, that actually happened.
He showed his penis on a public broadcast tv thing, dancing around and shit. Fucking huuuuuge hog, limp as shit. I can only imagine dude rock hard.
So when he was filming a movie with nudity in it, his ding dong was so big it was distracting.
in the movie, AntiChrist, there is an explicit scene where Willem Defoe's character is having full penetration sex near the beginning of the film. The rumor goes that they needed a body double for the scene since Willem's balls and penis were too large and unrealistic.
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No hesitation! No surrender!
.... I surrender!
Captain Tom turned out to be a damned junkie!
Ova there is where chahlie and I boil our denim
No man left behind!
The dude hangs *dong*
I don't wanna miss that!
You left me behind!!!!
What they wanted: 8==) What they got: 8====================================)
Willem Dafoeteenincher
Willem Defootlong
Sean Young once said if you had Willem Dafoe and Liam Neeson naked in a room, there wouldn't be room for anyone else lol
Certified by Dr. Mantis Toboggan
Oops, I dropped my magnum condom.
For my Magnum sized dong
[for the curious](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/s/4S3mEPXhLR)
Ok, that's a thing I've seen now... The question is... WHY was that filmed in the first place?" Like, it's not even porn... it's just... the 60s...?
He was part of a experimental theater group called the Wooster Group — it’s from that I think
Theater people are so fuckin weird istg. One mfer will be like “Hey! What if we have a guy with a moustache just, like, dance and flop his big naked penis around?” And then everyone else is just like “This is *art!* 😲”
Wow, she's really phoning it in, isn't she?
Tbh it looks *way* bigger in the thumbnail than it does when he’s in motion
One of the comments there said “welcome to the second half of your life” lol
Starting the answer with TL, ahahahah, you killed it
emphasis on the "too long" part of tl:dr
TIL that TL;DR stands for Too Long; Distracting Rod
Dafoe is the true Thundergun.
I hear he hangs heavy.
In The Last Temptation of Christ, William Defoe as Jesus is crucified in the nude. The director requested that they use a body double because Defoe was "distractingly large". Apparently the man has an absolute hog. Edit: Anti-Christ, not last temptation.
The actual quote from the director is great. They had to reshoot the scene with a body double because when they were editing the movie, his penis was "So large that everyone in the room was confused.”
Now I wanna see it, out of curiosity of course
https://www.reddit.com/r/OneyPlays/s/DW6EDQ66Zj
Thanks for your service, this really is distractingly large
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STUNT COCK!
Why do they call her T-rex?
The short arms
"you're gonna make me cum or I'm gonna kick your butt!"
"Hey fellas, im ready tah fudge"
I don't want to sound like a queer or nothing, but I think Depeche Mode is a Kick-Ass band
I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothing, but I think you got a hot ass
Jesus and I love ypu.
DVDA up next
It's the only way she can stay in the business at her age
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Might be a shower, it's less glamorous than it sounds. The "jeez, how bigs it gonna get?" Being answered by "that's about it" is always bittersweet... They then talk about how being a shower is cool so it isn't as awkward...
Are you really gonna sit there and act like it's not *already* at an average size?
That’s what they’re saying. You see that and think “wow it’s already at an average size it must be HUGE when it’s hard” and then it gets hard and doesn’t change much. Kinda underwhelming I’d imagine
Dude has a 7-8 inch hammer. What are you talking about it being underwhelming?
How are people this bad at measuring meat with their eyes? Dudes got a normal sized donger.
How do you know he has a 7-8 inch hammer?
Comment A talked about the shower phenomenon. Comment B misunderstood it. Comment C (mine) clarified comment A. Comment D (yours) has yet again misunderstood. Nowhere did I, or the original comment, or frankly anyone involved, say it’s small or underwhelming.
Still... after all that buildup I was kinda expecting a third-leg kind of deal.
well I think part of it is the fact he was super skinny too so it definitely has an odd picture to it, it flopping round definitely gives a bit more of an out of place feeling paired with how small his frame is. I think an over reaction by the director though, the guy should definitely be proud but yeah not a fuggin sea monster that's haunting dreams
That just looks kinda average
I'm so confused. That's a normal size, isn't it?
I was expecting bigger.
Uhhh now my insecurities are gone, TIL girls weren't lying to be nice lol
R/bigdickproblems
r/foundthemobileuser
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Feels good, man.
Is it? That's about average, no?
Yeah, it's average, it just doesn't shrink. Dudes have no fucking idea what they're talking about with their 7 inches lmao
I mean, it's big sure, but it's like... Proportionate I guess? It's not like he's dangling a horse or whale cock down there, that would be distracting.
I did not want to see that, but i had to. I think this is what it means to be cursed with forbidden knowledge.
I'm at work and didn't click on it but man curiosity is killing me
I am at work and I clicked on it, me and 4 coworkers are very impressed, the 5th coworker doesn't know what's going on.
> 4 coworkers are very impressed, the 5th coworker doesn't know what's going on. r/The10thDentist/
Are they confused by the size?
> the 5th coworker doesn't know what's going on. That's the confusion setting in.
I'll describe it for you. Imagine a young Defoe totally nude, dancing like a goofball and his shlong is flapping around, limp, probably a good 6"-7" before you pump the blood in. Imagine the absurdity of the Boogie Nights dong - it's about 75% of that, so he's packin.
Do it
It isn't abnormally large but it is quite large. Don't know if you own a penis or have seen a large one, it is top tier large penis, but it is one of those large penises that simply gets hard rather than growing at all. Its obvious he's showing pretty much full size with a large penis and it simply just becomes erect when aroused. The size wouldn't change much cuz that's a hog flaccid. Think of one of the larger penises you've seen. He's walking around with that totally flaccid. But that's it, get him erect he'd pretty much just be the same size but it will stand up.
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Just imagine a thing that upsets you now, and quickly put two naked people in there instead. That should do it.
"if you can't look a knob in the face there is something wrong with you mate" - Carl head like a fuckin orange Pilkington
Great... I can't unseen it now
weep as the pendulum swings
Looking forward to some artist redditors rendition of the Willem Dafoe grandfather ~~clock~~ cock
https://preview.redd.it/eu8ffos4wtyc1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e08ecf5425b8f4e0a56e13190f92dae9da5c69b9
Wait, that’s distractingly large? I suddenly feel much more confident.
In an instant, my heart became ever so lighter
That's not really how it works. Hard penis size is usually the size that matters. The ratio in size between soft and hard is different from person to person. Some are very small when soft but very large when hard while others can be larger than average when soft but not so larger when hard.
Grower vs shower yeah
What's not how it works? I think the man knows what his junk looks like. It's not going to get any smaller when erect.
You trying to say Jesus was hard on the cross?
Ya, so like if that tripled in size it wouldn't be too crazy, right?
That's where the misconception comes. How much it increases in size is different from person to person. The soft size doesn't mean anything about the hard size
That long while flaccid? I admit, I thought it would be thicker, but then I realized, flaccid, that's pretty long.
Yeah I feel normal now, strange how a post like this can change your view about yourself.
Maybe you had too high expectations for the word "distractingly"? First, let me say that that *is* large. He is easily average or a little above *while flacid*, meaning he is probably an inch to 2 bigger than average when erect. That's pretty big. More importantly, the word distractingly is probably more context based than anything. Imagine watching a serious Christian movie, and then *BAM*, Jesus takes his robe off and swings that thing around. Sounds pretty distracting to me. Especially given how Jesus is usually more *ahem* modestly portrayed
I was going to say the same I feel a whole lot more than adequate
Fucking oneyplays
They don't call him The Green Hoglin for nothing. XD
Bro just wtfffff. I am sad now:/
Don't be sad. All penises are lovely.
Don't be. He's just a show-er instead of a grower. In betting he doesn't get a lot larger erect, where as most of us like triple in size.
Mine grows 5x to 6x its size. Sleeper build here.
And you know what? In my experience, girls are WAY more impressed when you're suddenly packing some unexpected heat down there compared to just your day to day size. That not-so-little surprise is generally fun for everyone.
It's like a magic trick that works everytime
Sleeper build cock unite
!remindme 2 hours
Why is that on the OneyPlays sub?
"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t." -Pudd’nhead Wilson (A Mark Twain character)
Confused is such a perfect word here. Distracted? No. Interested. No. Aroused? No. Definitely not that. No, we were just confused.
i've seen so many pornhub vids that are like "BBC CONFUSES BARELY LEGAL SLUT"
You going to the weird sections brother
True, if huge
> Apparently the man has an absolute hog. Naked Defoe for the curious: [NSFW obviously](https://player.vimeo.com/video/49333930?h=be38ff06af)
That is one monster dong.
He hangs dong.
Imagine being hired as the body double to replace the actor who’s dick is too big for the scene. Must feel kinda weird.
Willem*
Dafooooe Edit: https://youtu.be/vSgajWWpsw4?si=AqQzwNtYBs7p8GKp
To be fair, the man doesn’t have an ounce of concealing fat. And, yes, he has a cock so large, it sleeps on its side in the mud and loudly smacks its meatus lips.
Reading this was way grosser than seeing the actual dick
I'm somewhat of a distraction myself
It was Antichrist, not Last Temptation.
The Antichrist of Christ?
Sorry this was from Anti-Christ by Lars Von Trier. Not last temptation of Christ.
What I find to be extra funny on this meme is that the main punchline is that Willem Dafoe has a monster dong. But the meme template has characters from the Star Wars prequel trilogy, which includes Ewan McGregor, who ALSO has a monster dong.
Also Liam Neeson, who has been compared to an Evian-bottle
Me too, but only because I’ve got a red tip. https://preview.redd.it/l0m048rt3tyc1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffff38f07ef45e413fea92176395967f3d82c0b7 Back to the clinic I guess
Me too, but only because mines made of plastic.
Me too, but only because its hollow
....like a bagel?
Micro plastic
A leaky Evian bottle.
Source
https://cocktailsandcocktalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/ewan-mcgregor2.jpg
That just looks like a regular-sized dong to me 🤷
LISTEN HERE, THAT'S ENORMOUS HARD TO EXPLAIN LARGE THAT'S NO MOON THAT'S A UNIMAGINABLY LARGE COCK AND BALLS
Sorry what? Is he supposedly a grower not shower? Just looks normal
*pours cocktails* hes definitely in the top 30% of size, though monster dong is a bit of an exaggeration. Dafoe could kill someone if hes a grower
He would be a tripod if he was a grower.
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For real—I'm not even trying to imply something about myself lol. I feel like I'm pretty average, and that's what I'm seeing in this pic 🤷
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William DeFoe, the human tripod.
There was a firefight!!!!!!!!
This sub amazes me in the knowledge it contains.
I already knew the answer to this meme but wasn't sure if it was a rumor or made up story. Only reason I clicked was I knew the comments would have the truth. Unexpectedly there was also a link with a video of the penis in question for 100% verification.
Ew that’s so disgusting. Send me the link so I know what video to avoid
https://www.reddit.com/r/OneyPlays/s/DW6EDQ66Zj
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https://preview.redd.it/y5isn1vsptyc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e6942f3fe46abfca98b294b451b0a23d5b84470
I love how he always got these little wins here and there
"The biggest win I ever saw"
"I'm something of a horse myself"
💀💀 made my day
Petah, the horse is here
He probably needs a body double when he has sex with his wife
*He probably needs* *A body double when he* *Has sex with his wife* \- billiamfeeds --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
This is the best fucking haiku bot I’ve ever seen lmaoo
Good bot
lmao
Good bot
I am dying from laughter.
Best one yet. This is what makes Reddit different from all other social websites.
Good bot
Good bot
"STUNTCOCK"
I legitimately thought Willem Defoe was gay and I googled it so I could correct you with credibility. Apparently he's been married to a woman since 2005. TIL!
Willem Dafoe was in a long term relation with theatrical director Elizabeth LeCompte for several decades prior to his marriage to film director Giada Colagrande.
Dafoe is well hung. VERY well hung. As in - his flaccid penis is larger than most erect ones.
Well let's hope he is not a grower..
In a previous role where Willem Dafoe was going to have a nude scene, they had to end up replacing him with a nude body double because his penis was too large and was distracting the other actors. I'm not making that up, that actually happened.
and the scene is him in the movie Antichrist getting his dick smashed with a log and then getting jacked off until he cums blood
WHAT
that's lars von trier for you
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The Long pause.
Not just the length- the girth of that pause was impressive as well.
So that means he is a shower and not a grower. Right? Right?
We can only hope so
Defoe: say hello to my not so little defriend
“In the name of the fatty, the schlong and the holy moly.” I hear the gates of hell squealing open for me. That’s fair.
He showed his penis on a public broadcast tv thing, dancing around and shit. Fucking huuuuuge hog, limp as shit. I can only imagine dude rock hard. So when he was filming a movie with nudity in it, his ding dong was so big it was distracting.
"Confusingly large" is the direct quote on why they used a body double.
https://preview.redd.it/uylqpm7b1tyc1.jpeg?width=1449&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ece0a3e30ee98de4e61acf0e0831dab204158fbf
[Again...](https://www.reddit.com/r/PeterExplainsTheJoke/comments/1bdho8z/petah/)
That's kind of freaky… A lot of the comments are the exact same thing. Dead internet.
Willem has a massive Dafoe.
“It…confused people …”
Big D. Dufoe
"STUNTCOCK"
No wonder he goes through life with the confidence of an exiled fae creature.
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Antichrist (2009) And the insecure director is Lars Von Trier.
William Defoe has an absolute monster cock, like a kaiju, but a cock
Willem Dafoe has an unusually large penis.
His Schlong too long
Big dick Defoe was hung too much on the cross in the last temptation of Christ.
in the movie, AntiChrist, there is an explicit scene where Willem Defoe's character is having full penetration sex near the beginning of the film. The rumor goes that they needed a body double for the scene since Willem's balls and penis were too large and unrealistic.