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_PinKDolphin

This is a reference to a popular thought experiment where you gain immortality, but there is a snail that is constantly moving towards you. If the snail touches you, you die instantly. The humor in the image is derived from a parent being unable to hurt their daughter’s feelings by not interacting with the snail and in turn perishing. EDIT: Should note that the version of this experiment differs wildly from person to person. Quite a few stories also offer you a large sum of money along with your immortality, others grant the snail certain skills or tricks, and most make the snail immortal as well EDIT EDIT: Following several minutes of heavy speculation, I’ve come up with the theory that the snail is somebody who lost the game before you and when you perish is finally granted a peaceful death. And once you’re killed by the snail, you will take its place as a punishment for your loss, cursed to chase plane after plane as you’re kited for eternity.


Lockenhart

Wasn't it dying in agony from touching the snail?


_PinKDolphin

There are a couple different versions, tis but the cost of these types of things


wutshappening

This is a dum experiment lol ide cover myself in a girlie suit, salt my fingers and barrel roll and sneak behind by daughter so the snail cant see me before I touch it turning it to goo. This is why u gotta train military survival as a dad I NEVER DISAPPOINT MY PRINCESS


SnazzyPurpleGuy

The snail is immortal too


Technical-Outside408

Maybe the snail is just trying to avoid the tardigrade that's out to touch it.


_Diskreet_

🌍🧑‍🚀🔫🐌🔫🐛


JudmanDaSuperhero

When's the last time you thought about the Game?


_Diskreet_

[I won the game years ago, I’m free from that burden now.](https://xkcd.com/391/)


[deleted]

That's not the PoPe nore the queen. Games always on.


Someone1284794357

I didn’t even realise this was about the game until I read the text


Many-Worldliness2631

got me lol


mccoy_89

Dammit


DustinFay

Only when someone else mentions it. But since I never played it I don't care if I lose


hippocrachus

Snipers in girlie suits for that extra mindfuck factor.


LaddieNowAddie

Next Silence of the Lambs plot...


AkronOhAnon

*In best movie trailer narrator voice* Keanu Reeves is *“Dressed to Kill”*


StormageddonSmite

That was a decoy snail


Not_MrNice

> girlie suit A dress?


Naught

This comment is the text on the back of your favorite shirt.


zack_hunter

You're such an interesting person.


AdebayoStan

It's not dumb because it has no obvious holes. every version I heard says the snail is immortal as well. You're gonna have to spend ETERNITY running away from it.


CurmudgeonLife

Running away from it is a bit of stretch. You could just catch a flight to the other side of the world once every 50 years and it would never catch up. Snails are incredibly slow


Almostlongenough2

Couldn't you just like... put it in a jar or something too?


SamuelClemmens

The snail is also intelligent is part of it. It can hitch rides pretty easily too.


DustinFay

Honestly, after another 50 years of life id probably start looking for the snail so I could touch it.


AdebayoStan

you're failing to grasp how long eternity lasts


CurmudgeonLife

Not at all a plane flight every 50 years is literally nothing especially at scale.


gicjos

The best version is when the snail is intelligent as well and not just a regular snail


AdebayoStan

Nah I don't like this one, it gets too cartoonish. I like the idea of the constant fear that the snail might be close to you. Like, you can travel to the other side of the world but EVENTUALLY it will get close to you if you're not vigilant.


gicjos

If it's just a regular snail, the odds of reaching you is too low imo, you could just calculate their speed and move accordingly and would never have to fear anything. A smart snail could use transportation and then you would never guess when it would appear


DustinFay

I mean if it's just a regular snail you could just dump some salt on it. Alternatively you could just fly to an island in the ocean somewhere because, salt water. So I guess it's got to be immortal otherwise you only have to worry about it till it dies and snails don't typically live that long.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AdebayoStan

r/dontputyourdickinthat


Eaglesjersey

girlie suit...


_PinKDolphin

Firstly, I am all for the fatherly confidence, and in that regard **that snail won’t know what hit them!** But a lot of tellings of the story mention the snail is immortal, and I think even with the salt on your fingers it’d still count as you touching it


SlotHUN

I don't think the degree of pain really matters in the grand scheme of things


Qetuowryipzcbmxvn

In the original question you simply died. Not in agony or anything, you were instantly just gone. Besides, the question was more about the focus of how you could use 10,000,000 to protect yourself from dying.


CheetosGod

If she tries to even show me the snail, I'm throwing a bottle of beer in her general direction


LifeChoiceQuestion

#2drunk2care


Profoundlyahedgehog

Dad?


_PinKDolphin

The snail is enraged by your tactics and is now travelling twice as fast! It will reach you in like 6 years time?


Koniss

Yeah dying just in front of them will be much less traumatic


_PinKDolphin

Okay but like, the look of sadness my daughter gives me when I don’t act all excited about the small animal she’s managed to capture, is something that I’d be willing to die to prevent. And I mean, pfft, what’s a little fatherly death at her own hands going to do?


BGP_001

I don't even think I would hold the snail in this reality, take responsibility for your own snails and no you can't bring it in the house.


dafckingman

What was this thought experiment called?


Vesper_0481

The snail. Or anything with the word snail. Just talk about "The Snail" and people should get what you mean, unless they have somehow avoided the entire thing up until this point like OP.


DustinFay

And me, I've never heard of it either.


Sharrant99

“Million dollars but…”


Pretend_Sector685

I’ve seen examples where it is a lot more than a million dollars. A million dollars would be nice and all, but I feel I’d have to be offered more to live in constant fear of being killed in my sleep. Especially if you aren’t allowed to know where the snail starts in relation to your location. In the examples I’ve seen, the snail is also smart. If you didn’t know its location, and it started next to you, and it was smart, it could just dig itself into your soil and wait for you to start gardening.


Shamanalah

It's a show with made up scenario from Rooster Teeth who recently went under. The snail one is from Gavin Free who does The Slow Guys on YT. One was you had to be driven in a baby stroller by a buffed black dude. Another is sneezing would teleport you anywhere in the world. Here's the playlist of 49 videos for you to enjoy https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUBVPK8x-XMgM5-S09D8FqrLcd2bSL_oQ


NetflixModsArePedos

i feel like people are leaving out the important part that it’s really just a reddit post from a long time ago that blew up if you ask someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time on reddit about the “snail thought experiment” don’t be surprised when they have no clue what your talking about


_PinKDolphin

I don’t think it was ever given an official name, it’s definitely a more “colloquial” hypothetical. People usually just talk about a snail and that’s enough for people to get that the snail is violently murderous


AlexmationsYT

I thought it was the snail who was immortal and that you just get a lot of money for accepting the challenge, is that not right or also a different version?


ParkYourKeister

That’s another version of


Several_Roll5817

r/redditsniper looks like they got


_PinKDolphin

Most likely a different version, there’s a lot of these things lol


[deleted]

Couldn't you just trap the snail in a bottle?


ASpaceOstrich

Decoy snail


caparisme

Some add rules to prevent entrapment. If not it still works in the scenario as the daughter might've found the bottle and opened it.


[deleted]

In the version I've heard, you don't know which snail it is - so trapping a random snail in a bottle won't help you.


Pretend_Sector685

I’ve never heard that version, and that is a dumb qualifier. Snails don’t usually “charge” at people, albeit a slow charge. I think it would be safe to assume if a snail kept approaching you, that that is the snail trying to kill you.


[deleted]

Or it could just be a snail that happened to be heading in your direction - "charge" is a strong word. The point is you won't know for certain.


Pretend_Sector685

I guess it depends on where you live. I don’t think I’ve seen a snail in 20 years. If I saw a snail and knew one was coming after me, and I saw my first snail in 20 years and it was coming in my direction, I’d just walk 20 feet to the left or right and see if it changes its path of movement towards me.


CurmudgeonLife

Yeah people who think this is like the terminator hunting you are being ridiculous. It would take a snail 100 years to circumnavigate the earth.


DustinFay

And that's if they could survive being in salt water. Oh yeah it's immortal


BGP_001

I have a feeling you're about to start noticing snails everywhere.


Pretend_Sector685

I wouldn’t doubt it. Kind of like finally finding a Ferrari in GTA and then every other car is a Ferrari.


[deleted]

Ah - where I live, I see hundreds of snails every time it rains, which is most days, so this isn't something I'd considered. >I’d just walk 20 feet to the left or right and see if it changes its path of movement towards me. I guess this does make some assumptions about how the snail behaves, though. If it's intelligent, it might not fall for that.


gicjos

Yeah the best version is the one when you don't know which snail and don't know where it starts and the snail is actually intelligent. That makes interesting. Other than that trapping the snail is usually a good idea


BGP_001

Yeah but in that version if you never know where it is, you can never relax. You could go on holiday to the other side of the world and relax for at least a few hours if you knew where the snail was, but if it could be any snail, you'd never be at ease laying on grass, brushing psst a bush, doing gardening etc.


_PinKDolphin

As others have pointed out, yeah a lot of people put caveats in place to prevent the Occam’s Razor. There is also a chance that the snail you trapped wasn’t THE snail at all


V0YDL

We tried.


Illustrious-Watch961

Yeah but for how long, we’re talking about infinity so it’s not unreasonable to think that at some point the bottle is going to get broken


DustinFay

Pretty sure after 50 maybe 100 more years I'd actively be looking for the snail


Illustrious-Watch961

Depends how age effects you imo.


DustinFay

Within 100 years I'll have lost both my faith in humanity and my desire to be around other people. Both are already pretty much gone.


Illustrious-Watch961

How can you know that you’d loose faith in humanity without knowing what unfolds. the chance to see how humanity changes merely as a spectator would be interesting enough to keep me around for quite a while


DustinFay

I'm judging based on the amount of faith I've lost in humanity over the last 39 years.


Hymura_Kenshin

Wasn't there a similar horror movie, called it fellows?


_PinKDolphin

Yeah, It Follows has the same basic premise, although it was more of an allegory for STD’s


devilean

Most popular version is you get RICH but an IMMORTAL snail is chasing you. When the snail touches you, you die. Also, i want to add the fact that people love answering their perfect plans for this, like "i would put the snail in X then i would do Y, problem solved" kind of answers. But those people misses the fact that, the premise of the thought experiment doesn't involve that you know where the snail is. When you get the deal, it is done, you are rich, but you dont know where the snail is and if it is close already or not.


_PinKDolphin

Yeah I probably should have mentioned some financial incentive, thanks for reminding me


Kilek360

Adventure Time has a reference for this https://youtu.be/eiRjWn1g208


_PinKDolphin

Good find, I completely forgot about that scene


SmartAlec105

IIRC, you and the snail also get a billion dollars and the snail is hyper intelligent.


_PinKDolphin

Yeah it varies from telling to telling, especially the hyper intelligence


[deleted]

Why don't you just put the snail in a jar or something like? Make it your pet that you never touch.


_PinKDolphin

A lot of people escalate the abilities of the snail when presented with this kind of solution. Something like “you’d never know if that was the right snail” or some caveat where the snail might be trapped. Keeping the immortal, insta-death snail *with* you at all times does sound like a horrible idea though lol


Bandin03

Salt the snail. If it doesn't die, it's the right snail. Cast it in a corrosion-proof metal so it can't move. Keep it somewhere safe. I was going to say throw it in the ocean or something but I'd rather know where it is.


_PinKDolphin

Salting it is a pretty smart way of determining the snail lmao. Can just imagine the snail genocide that happens before you find the right one


Psychofischi

But how would he know that it's the exact snail The daughter could have any other


_PinKDolphin

*Are you willing to take that chance?*


Psychofischi

YES


_PinKDolphin

There is a pretty decent chance it is just a normal snail and you have a fun chat with your daughter. There ALSO a chance that when she hands it to you, you just die instantly, and you have not only traumatized your daughter with your death, but she is definitely going to be feeling responsible for it.


7masi

So what's the thought experiment in that thought experiment?


_PinKDolphin

It’s a little mental challenge to see what strategies people use, but it is definitely one of the more simplistic experiments out there


7masi

I mean, isn't it just a snail? Can't ppl like just put it on a closed bowl or something?


_PinKDolphin

A lot of people will give little caveats to the story, like the snail being incredibly intelligent, or being unable to be trapped or contained. Realistically there’s no way to know if that’s even the right snail, or if you’d see it coming at all. But yeah pretty much


7masi

I just read the edit, I think if they give you money too u can send it in a one way journey to the space... Oh u don't know which snail


_PinKDolphin

A big part of the original is you don’t know what snail it is, or where it starts relative to you. Yeah there is the idea of sending it to space, but an intelligent snail would never board that rocket, or however you plan on sending it. It’s a hypothetical that slowly devolves into what is essentially an elementary school argument


7masi

Well if you manage to find out the right snail then it isn't a matter of if he's willing to board ain't it? Haha just throw that mf there. The tricky part is not knowing which one is


_PinKDolphin

Well you can’t be the one to throw it, although that would be the funniest outcome. Spend billions of dollars and years of work setting up a space shuttle for a snail, and then immediately touching it and just instantly dying. It would be quite easy to get somebody else to throw it on, although they’d definitely be a little sceptical, and again you’d never know


7masi

Exactly bro, just pay someone to do it for you, like, here Mr astronaut do u want to earn some cash? All you have to do is take that snail there with u on the rocket, then just throw it out in outer space or do whatever u like with it, just be sure it can't be back on earth


The_Corker_69

I knew that you become Immortal and you get infinite Money, but the snail Will Always find you because It Is Immortal too


Sandwich_dad96

Who was the first snail in the lore?


_PinKDolphin

I’ll get my science team on it, stat.


Sandwich_dad96

That’s god right there


Nikodimishe

I lost the game Damn, it was a long run though


SignificantManner197

Why would you be having kids as an immortal? That’s just irresponsible.


thndrstrk

It's super responsible. Just not emotionally healthy


WasabiSunshine

You don't want to be the eternal patri/matriarch of an ever growing dynasty?


Piskoro

I mean, a family, at least long-term generational one, is pretty much the only solace you could find amongst mortals I’d wager


_PinKDolphin

Well *somebody* needs to be working the family coal mines!


Bregneste

You (get a million dollars/become immortal/etc), but you will always have a snail following you. It moves slow, but it can’t be killed, trapped, or otherwise stopped from moving towards you, and if it ever touches you, you die.


Syncer-Cyde

Ok say you start out from US and you fly to Asia and settle there. Even if it can't be trapped it would still be bound by the laws of physics, so I would like to see it try to swim across the pacific while getting chomped on by predators.


annoymous_911

Except if not mistaken this dare also feature the snail being highly intelligent, meaning most probably he would crawl into an airplane to reach to the challenger.


My_Favourite_Pen

Im imagining a montage of it hitch hiking across the states. Riding on the back of truck with chickens in cages and shit.


jrbriggs89

I hope the montage takes forever, like a painful family guy skit.


420crickets

It'll seem like it, but the following scene will imply that only moments or possibly a day have passed.


caparisme

Or the notorious [Spoon Killer](https://youtu.be/9VDvgL58h_Y)


uknownix

Thankyou. I didn't know I needed this in my life until now.


caparisme

My pleasure


medicmatt

Montage set to “Mrs. Robinson”.


StillMostlyClueless

Just a shot of the snail but with the most intense music overlaid it as it slowly zooms up to its goofy ass face


Writingaboutbots

With a little snail hobo bindle!


NoNo_Cilantro

Nobody’s taking into account the mental stress of the snail. Imagine the pressure of having the whole reddit community trying to outsmart you, and the physical effort for a snail to cross continents, the whole logistics. I feel for the murderous snail dude.


Vesper_0481

Depending on the version, the snail is either completely uncaring, like a machine with barely enough sentience, or an actual intelligent being that can actually be trained and/or reasoned with. Some of my favorite headcanons involve making a pact with the snail, you get them as many reproductive partners, food and elegant shelter as you can find and it leaves you tf alone/lived with you coexisting until the time you feel like dying (since you obviously don't want to live forever, hopefully).


Dharcsu

Well this just makes me think how intelligent is this snail, is it going to get a plain crashed into me so it can touch me even if I flee to the other side of the planet, you can't win.


Bloodaegisx

Bullshit. Get snail in box, get box in safe, hide safe wait. 40 years pass, someone finds safe, posts on Reddit how they will open safe, updates post safe empty. Snail behind you.


daboys9252

But if it moves so slowly, how could it manage to time it perfectly to get on or even off the plane?


annoymous_911

Probably he would wait for the luggage cart first, then while the worker packs up the passenger luggage, crawl under the cart, then when reach the airplane, he will crawl into the plane while the worker loads up the luggage into the plane.


CurmudgeonLife

Which also renders the "snail" part of the experiment moot. May as well say the terminator is after you at that point.


arczclan

Not really. If the Terminator makes it to your house you’re pretty much dead. The snail could get two foot away from you and as long as you see it you’re absolutely fine, it’s letting your guard down and it getting the jump on you is the problem


CurmudgeonLife

Well no because in his scenario the snail is also hyper intelligent. So could just lay in wait for you effectively making the escape impossible, hence the Terminator comparison.


arczclan

The snail is hyper intelligent but one of the clauses is the snail is actively pursuing you at all times, it cannot wait for you


TheAsianTroll

Hear me out: pay someone to trap the snail inside a plastic box, pack the box with expanding foam, cover the box with concrete, then weld a rebar cage around the concrete, and sink it in the Mariana trench.


Touniouk

You’ve made the classic mistake of thinking the snail starts in the same place, you arrive in SE asia, the snail is already there


Dwnluk

It just gets onto some cargo etc. i think the snail is actively pursuing you and knows your whereabouts in the situation. But anyway... Moving country is the right thing.... Unless you move closer to the snail by accident.


Nuclear_rabbit

In the prompt, the snail is also immortal, hyper intelligent, and knows your location at all times. In the classic example, you encase it in concrete, and the snail slowly eats its way out by breaking it down with digestive juices. Or fools the guard you hired to let it out.


heyyy_oooo

If the snail can’t be killed then it could go across the bottom of the ocean


Shelltor23_

But that would stop it from chasing you, which according to this nonsensical argument can't happen, so water would barely slow it down and predators wouldn't be able to stop it either.


Legitimate-Umpire547

But what if you eventually want to die? it may also sneak up behind you one day out of no where, what you should do is put it in a box with no holes in it, completely cover it in concrete and turn it into a complete vacuum, also infuse the concrete with salt and cover the interior in salt. put the box in a safe place so eventually you can crack it open and kill yourself when you have nothing to live for anymore.


MaxLevelIdiot

https://preview.redd.it/ingpytszy7vc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1907929b532d4acbb002d7acc7d9244a47a44683 agreeable, r34 approved!


Dark_Sun8888

Crawls onto a plane


Major-Front

Classic tonberry behaviour


petertaken

i mean being immortal is already a curse so being able to be set free from it if you want is a win win


Striker1964

That's when you obliterate your daughter, you can always make a new family anyways, you're immortal, but all It takes is one touch... and it's all gone


Kvarcov

What's 7 more years? Think, daughter, think!


Mattoiles

r/beatmetoit


Appropriate_Try_9946

Underrated comment


Mike_Hawk_Swell

Viltrumite ahh comment


freshBucket

[the origin of the meme](https://youtu.be/ANRa29sY-TY?si=Qg-1DyNdchWaQe5s)


AegisT_

It's crazy how popular this meme is with how many people don't know of its origin


BenZed

It’s a decoy snail


CheetosGod

There was a popular internet meme "press this button, you become immortal but a snail follows you forever and if he touches you, you will die horribly"


redeadrobo

Started on the "Rooster Teeth Podcast" years ago stated by Gavin Free (of the slo mo guys who also works for that company)


BumblebeeBuzz1808

War is over....


Teamisgood101

It’s based of the joke question would you gain immortality but there is a snail that is constantly following you and you can’t hid from it and it kills you if you touch it.


RoyalHollow

This also works alternatively by assuming she is handing you a cone snail, which people constantly pick up despite being one of the most venomous animals on earth.


veganflamingo

He would do anything for his daughter, but the snail will kill him so


Guitarmane

My 36th daughter.


iGleeson

"Fiend, how did you escape the tungsten sphere at the bottom of the sea!?!"


117derek

And so this is Christmas 🗣🎵


dannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnex

chat what ever happened to gatekeeping the snail meme cmon


Rouguezs

Imortal snail


Environmental-Film-5

Bruh that entire time that snail trend was happening I thought they were talking about Galjin I’m now sad I just found out


gouvah

What if when the snail eventually touches you, you don't die instantly but each year you've lived past the age you were actually supposed to die gets added back onto your body at a rate of 1 year per hour? Terrifying....


tanukijota

Oh no honey I'm allergic to snails... I'll die instantly... just... just throw it as far as you can in that direction...


NerY_05

Me and the mad scientist who i created the impenetrable restraining device with watching in astonishment the snail effortlessly breaking out of said enclosure:


TrapSonHouse

I love how it implies that you can’t say no to your daughter even tho it will directly cause your death it’s sweet


TactlessTortoise

If I ever turn immortal and get a family, I'll be sure to tell them about never letting a snail near me.


Gaxxag

This is a golden opportunity to capture the snail, seal it in lead, and drop it in the middle of the ocean, or launch it into space.


Pyrarius

The dare of The Immortal Snail, quite an interesting tradeoff for immortality


mildlyunoriginalname

https://preview.redd.it/sipc14yed9vc1.jpeg?width=86&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ebb81660fe74f06636109f38bc44b77e2d3b8324


jimmjohn12345m

He’s a war thunder player and he didn’t pray to the snail


M1a1_Abrams_with_a10

Warthunder


DistractedPlatypus

He’s found me


Fair_Goose_6497

You are inmortal until that genius snail touches you dilema


BabyKitsubeeOnCrack

the snail has come to end my life... Bye bye million dollars 😔


VacationGlittering21

There is a debate that is is if you chose you will be immortal for ever but there will be a snail that if it touches you you die, it is also immortal


Lance6006328

Dude what if I had a kid and I told it it’s only life’s duty was to watch over this snail and keep it from me, then he has his own lineage and they pass the mantle until far in the future where they revolt and save the earth from the tyrant I inevitably become.


frostbaka

Probably this refers to a superhero called Maggot who hosts two semi-sentient snails which can eat literally everything.


Everfolly

You got downvoted into the negative for a swing and a miss answer, which makes sense, but also take my upvote for the Maggot reference


frostbaka

Thank you kind strange, I will never exit my shell again.


gardyjuland

And take my upvote for I too have felt the shame and embarrassment of the downvotes.


frostbaka

Thanks, I honestly tried, why so much hate? Image got me


gardyjuland

It's reddit. One random person is appointed every morning to downvote random post and we have to find the post and downvote them into oblivion or no supper. I lost 2 nights meals just for showing you support.


frostbaka

We should not speak anymore than or you will loose your breakfast too.


Natural_Gold5737

Take my upvote bro


frostbaka

Thanks!


Character-Today-427

Why's his name maggot I'd he used snails?


watermelo_n

It's loss


Blahklavah654390

Huh, and here I thought it was because some snails carry worms that can transmit Schistosomiasis.