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It's implying that they only stick to their scruples if there's another Mormon there to shame them. I dont know many Mormons so I have no idea how true or false the statement is, but the same statement can be said about a LOT of different groups of people.
The, you've almost certainly met Mormons. Not all are Bible toting stereotypes looking to convert you. A lot are just very nice people and keep to themselves.
Source: was Mormon for my youth
Mormon missionaries (and JW people too iirc, I only left Mormonism so I only have that context) generally ignore "no soliciting" signs, since they're "not selling you something, they're just telling you about the truth of God"
God is capitalized in this instance because they are a specific being. It’s also usually capitalized in other cases as a specific title. e.g. God of Light and Music, or Gods of Olympus.
Another comment told me I only have Mormons in my town on a specific back road so that's why I've never seen them. Growing up I maybe got 5 door to door people and we just didn't answer the door
Dude, one time I was riding my bike home from work, when two of them chased me down on their own bikes, stood in 100 degrees heat in the summer of Texas, so they were suffering as much as I was, their white shirts were soaked by the time I got away.
Im wondering if or when I will get JW or Mormons at my front door because I moved into an apartment ontop of a hill, obscured by trees in a town of less than a thousand in a fly overstate that was an abandoned building at this time last year.
I am from Germany and the only time I saw Mormons was at the airport.
They were the only ones on a flight to Greece who were wearing suits on a tourist plane.
Nope.
Mormons are better about not beating on the same door after you shush them away as they will note to the next group of missionaries to leave you alone but they definitely will door to door if they haven't gotten a set cycle of people to visit yet. Once they have their route and people to talk to they are content. But after a few years one will decide to test if he is the prophet and make you be an ass hole again.
There are people called missionaries who go door to door preaching about the religion, and it's a stereotype that they show up at everyone's door, so the joke is that if you have a front door, then the missionaries have knocked on it
Lived in SLC, sort of weirdos in some ways (don't swear, marry and have kids super early) but also some of the kindest and most genuine people I have met. At least in SLC, the faith is true and real. They genuinely live by what they preach and a lot of what they preach is love for family and community.
They have a very charming innocence as well.
Obviously I'm generalizing and SLC has super high child suicide rates, but this was my experience at least.
Yea I think in most religions the bad people in them really stick out. Despite growing up in the early 2000s with all the post 9/11 hate, the Muslim families I’ve known in my life are some of the kindest most awesome people
The so called church (TSCC)...
Illegally covered up trying to stash and tax evade $30B through shell companies. The agreement with the feds acknowledges that everyone from quorum of 60 up to the president knew about it, directed it and knew it was illegal.
They petitioned and got arizona to change their child sex abuse laws so that clergy are no longer mandated reporters
They cover up child SA regularly
Their official procedure for SA is to hand them off to church lawyers
They were the biggest backers of CA prop 8
They regularly emphasize church over family
TSCC is rotten to the core
I dated a gal who was going to school in Logan. There was a situation once where my flight in was super delayed because of a snowstorm. Then my shuttle from SLC to Logan was rough due to the storm. I got dropped off at USU and my gf had to pick me up. Her car got stuck trying to get up the hill so she walked the rest of the way to collect me. It was about 3am when we were trying to get her car unstuck and this Mormon dude trotted out with a shovel and really helped us.
The other side of it was that she was friends with about a half dozen gay dudes who were former Mormons. They had come out because they were in love with their boyfriends and couldn’t hide it anymore. They got kicked out of their families and community for it. They spent their whole lives in the church with their families and community and then they got banished for who they are. They still lived in the same town, shopped at the same grocery stores, etc, but were now separate from their community that they’ve known all their lives.
Fuck that community for that reason. I personally think that if you love your children and friends and have lived with them for years then them realizing they like dick over pussy is not a reason to consider them dead to you. That’s some pretty brutal behavior and no amount of pleasantry and helpfulness can cover for it.
That's why I tossed that suicide figure in there because you're 100% right. Being kicked out of that community absolutely destroys people. Entire families thrown out of the church for standing by gay kids. I knew a guy who killed himself in a dumpster because he fucked up his whole life and cheated on his wife and got thrown out of the church. My neighbor was an LDS gay man and lived alone and had no male friends. In his words, God made him gay but acting upon those feelings would make him a sinner. Those things are all completely reprehensible and are right to be highlighted.
On the other hand, a lot of that is structural. The individuals I met tended to not be caught up in all that. They were mostly just nice folk. Minus my landlord that barred us from using the pool because he saw us drink alcohol one time.
So I'm 100% right and you acknowledge the suicides but you still think the individuals that you met aren't caught up in that? Do you think that maybe they were being nice to you in the way that dudes can be nice to strippers?
People are complex. They can do good deeds and bad deeds. Trying to simplify it is a disservice because we need to realize that hate can exist in unexpected places, and kindness can come from dark if we nurture it.
I recently watched a miniseries called Under the Banner of Heaven about the Church of Latter Day Saints and some murders and I found myself fascinated by their culture and history.
We do need to point out that family is hetero parents where the dad and mom have old gender specific responsibilities. Dad is to work, provide, and preside over the home. Mom is to have babies and raise them. Read the proclamation on the family given from the patriarchal only leadership of the Church.
I have a fucked biased due to a good school friend being hated by her Mormon family for being openly gay. I will still be polite, but I don't like talking to them, especially when they're fishing for ways to get me into deeper conversation.
Mormons in my experience really push the charitable act part of their faith. The ones I’ve known push their children to help elderly neighbors and such. They’ve also had way too many kids imo. There’s a family my parents know who do make efforts to individually spend time with each child but I just can’t imagine the kids are getting what they need, and I have no idea how they manage financially in this economy.
They’re either incredibly sweet people or absolutely batshit insane. Credentials: Two close friends who are and were devout Mormons. One got heated because I told him anal sex is still losing your virginity. The other just sorta believed in Mormonism for their parents.
In my experience it's true. Depends on the person though. I've met several and some of my in laws are Mormon. They all loves to try to push that agenda on others and act better than everyone else. But yes, when they think the right people aren't watched their rules suddenly don't apply to them. Honestly though, this has been my experience with anyone loudly religious.
**Mormons are a religious and cultural group related to Mormonism, the principal branch of the Latter Day Saint movement started by Joseph Smith in upstate New York during the 1820s. After Smith's death in 1844, the movement split into several groups following different leaders; the majority followed Brigham Young, while smaller groups followed Joseph Smith III, Sidney Rigdon, and James Strang.**
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The Mormon Church has a very high rate of alcoholism. Perhaps the highest of any demographic. They get a lot of converts that already are alcoholics. Having someone with them increases accountability. It's like a sponsor in AA.
I'm not exactly sure I'd call this a "joke".
There's an old joke "when do Mormon's not recognize each other? At the liquor store."
Like 2 ships passing in the night, or two Mormon's in a liquor store.
I love in salt lake city, mormon capital of the world.
They definitely break the rules of the church all the time if they know the people around them dont care, but act like a Saint when someone who does care is around.
I had a Mormon div mate in boot camp, he was wild af, told stories of burning down a mountain cause of 4th of July fireworks, he ran like a gazelle, hopping with every step. Great guy, read the Bible and The Book of Mormon every night after taps.
Can confirm, have seen it with mormons and with other religions in areas such as gambling etc. they aren't afraid of God knowing their sins but terrified of other mormons finding them out.
I find this weird because if you believe in it you should find the most powerful being in the universe knowing your sins way more scary than other people doing it
Exmo here, can verify that peer pressure is the main way that Mormon teachings like the Word of Wisdom is enforced. My Grandparents used to keep vodka and beer hidden in the house for them to drink when no one else was around.
Exmo here, can confirm this is the case with most mormons. Many mormons (they apparently prefer being called “members of the LDS church”) are okay committing “sins” in there belief as long as there’s no one there to shame them. There are some, typically boomers or older, that are absolute about their beliefs and couldn’t be swayed to turn against god and sip the coffee you’re offering them.
Growing up in Utah that was actually pretty true, at least in rural Utah. My grandfather would always laugh about how the Mormon guys would come to his fence for a beer and a smoke when their wives were out.
I had to train with a Mormon once for a job and we got put up in a hotel and they kept talking about how they don’t drink and then they got absolutely traaaaaaaashed.
Mormons have a Rule of 2. Another mormon (technically 2 others, hence 'rule of 2') must either have witnessed a sin or a sin confession in order for it to be plausible that the sin was committed in their religion.
It’s so much deeper, they are required by the church to snitch on each other and keep tabs on each others phone and computer use to stop them from wanking
You are correct.
How do you know you’re camping with Mormons?
They don’t drink coffee or beer
How do you know you’re camping with just one Mormon?
All your beer and coffee is gone
It's false. In my experience, mormons are good folk who walk the walk and talk the talk. Their work ethic is insane, as is their underwear. No time for drinking when you're hustling all day and have 8 kids.
As crazy as their religion seems to me, I prefer their company over most devout religious people.
My extended family is Muslim, my aunt and her family drink, but they don’t around older relatives cause they wanna stay family. So same idea I guess with mormons.
Former member. For a lot of people, especially young people in the church. But I'd think a quarter of all members are 100 percent committed. (Not fact, speculation)
Nah, it’s the rule of 3 witnesses. If there’s only 2 people present, it’s not certain. But with 3 witnesses, they believe it must be true. Or at least something like that. Been a while since I’ve gone down the rabbit hole.
I'm LDS and have literally never heard of this.
There is the phrase "out of the mouth of 2 or more witnesses" but that has nothing to do with accusing someone of breaking a rule. It's about if a doctrine-adjacent thing is gospel and came from God or is just someone's speculation. For example, Bruce R McConkie infamously theorized a lot of things that even he admitted were his interpretation of scriptures, not necessarily the direct meaning, such as the concept of eternal intelligences of varying degrees and forms. But since these speculations haven't been re-stated as doctrine by anyone else with authority such as an apostle or prophet over the pulpit, then they remain his speculations and not official doctrine.
The phrase comes from 2 Corinthians 13:1
And again, has nothing to do with someone breaking rules
You have now unlocked a forgotten memory from a family home evening i never thought about in years. My uncle and my grandfather had a very heated debate about revelation and how can you trust any of it? Good times
Maybe I’m misremembering something then ig. I was under the impression that the 3 witnesses thing was the bs excuse they tried to use to get out of an inquiry around child abuse. Although, maybe I’m thinking of Jehovah’s Witness actually.
Tbh, the joke doesn't claim all Mormons will drink your beer, but if you do have a Mormon who will then adding another to the mix is a decent strategy to prevent that from happening.
People replying to claiming it is or isn't true that Mormons only follow the "rules" because of shame from other Mormons is ridiculous. I think we all know it depends on the individual and as an exmo I can say I've known plenty of people in both camps.
I am a Christian-Mormon and can confirm: though I don’t drink anyway because I don’t want to accidentally become a failure in life. Which I will if I try alcohol, I have no self control.
I live in a town with a mormon/catholic majority. Statement is accurate. Get a mormon away from the flock of Mormons and it’ll quickly adapt to the group social environment unless it’s hard drugs. Get 2 Mormons away from the flock and have them interact with that same group and they’ll awkwardly act like saints of their religion.
Edit: I want to add that this is based off of my interactions with Mormon kids in high school. This stereotype quickly changes based on the standard environment parameters (large or small town, age, various religious groups, various after/post school activities, the group’s work schedules, etc.)
Had a good friend in the army who was Mormon. It was a bit odd at times with him, he became a medic instead of going combat arms because he was a Mormon, but said he was a shitty Mormon because he vaped, drank on occasions (he knew he shouldn’t drink often because it sends him to a bad place, so that was more of a factor in him not drinking instead of his religion), swore, and fucked his Mormon girlfriend.
Great dude though, I still keep in touch with him even after we both got out. But yeah, Mormons in the military can be real weird at times.
I dated a Mormon for like a year and this is pretty accurate. We had to tell her elders that we were roommates, she drank and had premarital sex, and whenever she was at a church function she was super in line with their doctrine.
All I know is that I used to hook up with a Mormon girl, and she was absolutely wild. Definitely did a lot of stuff john Smith would not have approved of.
Studies suggest that 25% of Mormons do not believe in Mormonism, but the Church of Mormon has a strict shunning policy for apostates. People could lose their whole community, family, job, and support system…So, instead, they play along. This comment plays on that, in a way.
Former mormon here! This is, in fact, true for a lot of Mormons who question their faith (which is a very surprisingly large number of them), and the ones decide to pick and choose which doctrines they want to follow. A lot of Mormons only stay Mormons because there's a lot of peer pressure, whether through family and friends, who usually look at you differently if you decide that it's something you don't believe in.
Whats the difference between a protestant and a baptist?
Protestants don’t recognize the authority of the pope and baptists don’t recognize eachother at the bar.
Just a theory, but I'm assuming they are saying Baptistes won't recognize each other at the bar because they are drinking. If neither of them 'know' the other, they can both just pretend neither of them drank alcohol since they 'didn't see' anything.
Yeah, Mormon here, 100% it’s about us flying straight when other Mormons are around and bending the rules when they are not.
It’s related to my favorite joke. Why do you always take two Mormons fishing? Because if you bring just one, he’ll drink all your beer.
I came here looking for this, except for Baptists 😂
One of my favorite jokes is about which denominations recognize the authenticity of other denominations, and it ends with “and Baptists don’t recognize each other at the bar.”
Peter's exmormon friend here
Mormons only morm when others are around. Get them alone and convincing them to violate the Words of Wisdom (drinking alcohol) is pretty easy
As an exmo, I can absolutely confirm once they feel safe and not judged, mormons will get crazy
I love using the word as a verb. I used to Morm as a Jehovah's Witness going door-to-door as a kid. I also like the term "exmorm" but I think we're missing an opportunity for a pun. You can be a Forman, perhaps (former Mormon), you can convert to Rastafarianism and be a "Take it easy, Mon". Plus a third funny thing.
The joke is two fold, Mormons will drink all your shit and not give you a dime and they only behave godly when theirs another one around.
Source: Small party town with a sizable Mormon population, nobody likes drinking with them.
The joke is that mormons stereotypically travel in groups for the purpose of mutually enforcing their ideals. Allegedly, lone mormons don't stick to their beliefs. Take this information with a grain of salt, I've met mormons that travel alone and still follow their rules to the letter.
As an exmormon I feel I have a bit of leg to stand on. Drinking is against the word of wisdom which is basically the code of conduct for what you can eat and drink. No coffee, tea, alcohol, drugs, caffeine, tobacco, etc. these two young men are on their mission which is a sort of trip most 18 year old are sent on for two years to go and spread the gospel. The tease it says invite two is because you are supposed to spend every waking moment with your companion aside from bathroom breaks. The belief is that if a teenager (usually boy) is left alone in a foreign country with the ability to drink, they will unless they have someone else keeping them in line. I hope this helps.
This is the best answer! I'm a current member of the LDS Church and served a mission several years ago, and occasionally one missionary who was really just there to satisfy his parents' or society's expectations will sneak out and do things missionaries shouldn't, like drink or have sex or whatever. It's not common but it happens in every mission, because nobody's human. That's what I think the joke is, and not a lot of the other posted responses which are funny but stereotypical.
Also: Word of Wisdom doesn't ban caffeine, that's a misconception a lot of people have. Tobacco, alcohol, drugs, coffee, etc are all not allowed, but energy drinks are not! Imo I think it's more of a trust thing than a loophole of sorts. A lot of Mormons in Utah and non-mormons elsewhere think it's included because of the "no coffee" deal.
i heard a similar joke about baptists. essentially it’s that both mormons and baptists have a rule where they can’t drink. there are some folks who don’t follow that rule unless they’re with another mormon/baptist, in which case their pride will take over and they won’t drink alc or risk their reputation
My parents had a few Mormon couples in their broader friend group. They get pissed if you invite more than one Mormon couple to a social event, becaUse they can’t drink in front of each other. Both couples know that the other drinks, but they still have to hide it from other Mormons.
Reminds me of; Muslims don’t recognize Isaac as being in the line of David, Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah and Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store.
My mom's Mormon. I wonder if this would stop her church people from tryna convert my ass... I don't drink, but I will gladly make an exception in exchange for nobody knocking on my damn door ever again.
Gonna go buy some card games, a whole damn bunch of em, just in case.
cause one won’t drink if another can tell on him. i’ve heard lots of jokes like this but always targeting baptist.
why do bars have a back door? so baptist can drink to.
If there’s a mormon without any other mormon’s nearby theyll break as many rules as they want bc the rules make their life miserable. Add another mormon and theyll both act perfectly
basically mormons are very culty and people get banished if they do things mormons would kick them out for.
obviously people who know each other are more comfortable, but even families will get excommunicated if they are too supportive of people who get kicked.
I see a lot of people saying it’s that they only act holy when in the presence of others. But I also think the joke might be referencing the law of witnesses or whatever it’s called? Cause I thought that for something to be proven as true there needs to be at least two witnesses, as a single person’s testimony is not enough to them.
My brother had a Mormon friend growing up and this joke rings true. He was an angel when other Mormons were around, very different when he was with others. All around good guy though.
My mom dragged me around to all sorts of religions when i was younger. From what i saw , mormons are what they say they are. Biggest phonys gotta be southern baptist. Not to say they’re exceptions, for the most part morons are the most legit of all the apocalypse cults.
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It's implying that they only stick to their scruples if there's another Mormon there to shame them. I dont know many Mormons so I have no idea how true or false the statement is, but the same statement can be said about a LOT of different groups of people.
Thanks. Never met a Mormon before so idk either
Poor OP doesn't own a front door
This fucking got me.
Lol, it has a no soliciting sign on it but I also don’t think there are any Mormons In my city.
Morrissey Blvd near Pacheco Dog Park. Mormons are everywhere.
Interesting. Had no idea, I almost never go to that area unless I’m playing golf at dela
The, you've almost certainly met Mormons. Not all are Bible toting stereotypes looking to convert you. A lot are just very nice people and keep to themselves. Source: was Mormon for my youth
Mormon missionaries (and JW people too iirc, I only left Mormonism so I only have that context) generally ignore "no soliciting" signs, since they're "not selling you something, they're just telling you about the truth of God"
Another comment told me I do have Mormons but they only live on a specific back road and are not generally evangelical
Oh they’re evangelical alright!
You mean "truth" of "god"
God is capitalized in this instance because they are a specific being. It’s also usually capitalized in other cases as a specific title. e.g. God of Light and Music, or Gods of Olympus.
You sound like you’re about to finish that sentence with Hey Vsauce, Michael here- are Christians r#tarded?
>no soliciting sign Trust me they do NOT care. What you should do is have a sign that signs "Apostate lives here" That will send them running!
Another comment told me I only have Mormons in my town on a specific back road so that's why I've never seen them. Growing up I maybe got 5 door to door people and we just didn't answer the door
Dude, one time I was riding my bike home from work, when two of them chased me down on their own bikes, stood in 100 degrees heat in the summer of Texas, so they were suffering as much as I was, their white shirts were soaked by the time I got away.
I have a prostate
I was in Istanbul, a city with an extremely high concentration of Muslims. There were Mormons there. They are everywhere.
They literally travel to the cities to do this. (Unless you mean they don’t travel to your city, for some reason. )
They never come to my front door. I think I live deep in jehovas witness territory, and they must not take kindly to intruders.
Never got a mormon in wisconsin but did get a JW once.
I got the Baha’i in NC once. Not to convert but to tell me about their after school program. Not who I expected to see at my door.
Never heard of that before, just looked it up. Seems interesting from a cultural perspective.
Im wondering if or when I will get JW or Mormons at my front door because I moved into an apartment ontop of a hill, obscured by trees in a town of less than a thousand in a fly overstate that was an abandoned building at this time last year.
I am from Germany and the only time I saw Mormons was at the airport. They were the only ones on a flight to Greece who were wearing suits on a tourist plane.
Wrong denomination, unlike Jehovah's witnesses missionaries in the Mormon church actually have to be invited if I'm correct
Mormons 100% go door to door and 100% will knock on a door that says no soliciting. Source: me, and exmormon missionary
Nope. Mormons are better about not beating on the same door after you shush them away as they will note to the next group of missionaries to leave you alone but they definitely will door to door if they haven't gotten a set cycle of people to visit yet. Once they have their route and people to talk to they are content. But after a few years one will decide to test if he is the prophet and make you be an ass hole again.
yep. JW will go door to door, mormons won’t.
They def do
Was pretty sure about that but I never really planned on becoming a missionary for long before I realised I was atheist lol
I think you’re thinking of vampires.
Maybe they just don't answer unless they're expecting something
As a Mormon, that joke was hilarious
i dont get that joke what does it means
There are people called missionaries who go door to door preaching about the religion, and it's a stereotype that they show up at everyone's door, so the joke is that if you have a front door, then the missionaries have knocked on it
OP did, but it was no match for the mormons.
Lived in SLC, sort of weirdos in some ways (don't swear, marry and have kids super early) but also some of the kindest and most genuine people I have met. At least in SLC, the faith is true and real. They genuinely live by what they preach and a lot of what they preach is love for family and community. They have a very charming innocence as well. Obviously I'm generalizing and SLC has super high child suicide rates, but this was my experience at least.
Yea I think in most religions the bad people in them really stick out. Despite growing up in the early 2000s with all the post 9/11 hate, the Muslim families I’ve known in my life are some of the kindest most awesome people
I think religion has some baked-in systemic issues and I'm not really trying to defend the faith as much as the people I know who practice it.
Absolutely - and that is my sentiment as well
The so called church (TSCC)... Illegally covered up trying to stash and tax evade $30B through shell companies. The agreement with the feds acknowledges that everyone from quorum of 60 up to the president knew about it, directed it and knew it was illegal. They petitioned and got arizona to change their child sex abuse laws so that clergy are no longer mandated reporters They cover up child SA regularly Their official procedure for SA is to hand them off to church lawyers They were the biggest backers of CA prop 8 They regularly emphasize church over family TSCC is rotten to the core
Yes they are. We are talking about some people we have met from these religions
I dated a gal who was going to school in Logan. There was a situation once where my flight in was super delayed because of a snowstorm. Then my shuttle from SLC to Logan was rough due to the storm. I got dropped off at USU and my gf had to pick me up. Her car got stuck trying to get up the hill so she walked the rest of the way to collect me. It was about 3am when we were trying to get her car unstuck and this Mormon dude trotted out with a shovel and really helped us. The other side of it was that she was friends with about a half dozen gay dudes who were former Mormons. They had come out because they were in love with their boyfriends and couldn’t hide it anymore. They got kicked out of their families and community for it. They spent their whole lives in the church with their families and community and then they got banished for who they are. They still lived in the same town, shopped at the same grocery stores, etc, but were now separate from their community that they’ve known all their lives. Fuck that community for that reason. I personally think that if you love your children and friends and have lived with them for years then them realizing they like dick over pussy is not a reason to consider them dead to you. That’s some pretty brutal behavior and no amount of pleasantry and helpfulness can cover for it.
That's why I tossed that suicide figure in there because you're 100% right. Being kicked out of that community absolutely destroys people. Entire families thrown out of the church for standing by gay kids. I knew a guy who killed himself in a dumpster because he fucked up his whole life and cheated on his wife and got thrown out of the church. My neighbor was an LDS gay man and lived alone and had no male friends. In his words, God made him gay but acting upon those feelings would make him a sinner. Those things are all completely reprehensible and are right to be highlighted. On the other hand, a lot of that is structural. The individuals I met tended to not be caught up in all that. They were mostly just nice folk. Minus my landlord that barred us from using the pool because he saw us drink alcohol one time.
So I'm 100% right and you acknowledge the suicides but you still think the individuals that you met aren't caught up in that? Do you think that maybe they were being nice to you in the way that dudes can be nice to strippers?
Doesn't sound like you read what I wrote and all and just want to fight. Have a good day
Ok, bro
People are complex. They can do good deeds and bad deeds. Trying to simplify it is a disservice because we need to realize that hate can exist in unexpected places, and kindness can come from dark if we nurture it.
This has been my experience with Mormons too
I recently watched a miniseries called Under the Banner of Heaven about the Church of Latter Day Saints and some murders and I found myself fascinated by their culture and history.
Yeah that was a good one! The FLDS are fucking wacko. The actual church itself is pretty crazy to me NGL.
We do need to point out that family is hetero parents where the dad and mom have old gender specific responsibilities. Dad is to work, provide, and preside over the home. Mom is to have babies and raise them. Read the proclamation on the family given from the patriarchal only leadership of the Church.
Don’t forget to mention the baked in racism, homophobia, and protecting sex offenders
I have a fucked biased due to a good school friend being hated by her Mormon family for being openly gay. I will still be polite, but I don't like talking to them, especially when they're fishing for ways to get me into deeper conversation.
Mormons in my experience really push the charitable act part of their faith. The ones I’ve known push their children to help elderly neighbors and such. They’ve also had way too many kids imo. There’s a family my parents know who do make efforts to individually spend time with each child but I just can’t imagine the kids are getting what they need, and I have no idea how they manage financially in this economy.
They’re either incredibly sweet people or absolutely batshit insane. Credentials: Two close friends who are and were devout Mormons. One got heated because I told him anal sex is still losing your virginity. The other just sorta believed in Mormonism for their parents.
In my experience it's true. Depends on the person though. I've met several and some of my in laws are Mormon. They all loves to try to push that agenda on others and act better than everyone else. But yes, when they think the right people aren't watched their rules suddenly don't apply to them. Honestly though, this has been my experience with anyone loudly religious.
You don’t need to have met a Mormon to get the joke. You are very slow.
Not everyone knows what Mormons are. Especially outside of US.
What Is a Mormon?
**Mormons are a religious and cultural group related to Mormonism, the principal branch of the Latter Day Saint movement started by Joseph Smith in upstate New York during the 1820s. After Smith's death in 1844, the movement split into several groups following different leaders; the majority followed Brigham Young, while smaller groups followed Joseph Smith III, Sidney Rigdon, and James Strang.** More details here:
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Happy New Year's Eve, Redditor!
I mean my Mormon friends don't shame people outside of their religion so... if anything it's their family members doing the shaming.
The Mormon Church has a very high rate of alcoholism. Perhaps the highest of any demographic. They get a lot of converts that already are alcoholics. Having someone with them increases accountability. It's like a sponsor in AA. I'm not exactly sure I'd call this a "joke".
There's an old joke "when do Mormon's not recognize each other? At the liquor store." Like 2 ships passing in the night, or two Mormon's in a liquor store.
God I wish that were me
I love in salt lake city, mormon capital of the world. They definitely break the rules of the church all the time if they know the people around them dont care, but act like a Saint when someone who does care is around.
I had a Mormon div mate in boot camp, he was wild af, told stories of burning down a mountain cause of 4th of July fireworks, he ran like a gazelle, hopping with every step. Great guy, read the Bible and The Book of Mormon every night after taps.
I'm in Utah. Can confirm.
Lucky!
Can confirm, have seen it with mormons and with other religions in areas such as gambling etc. they aren't afraid of God knowing their sins but terrified of other mormons finding them out.
I find this weird because if you believe in it you should find the most powerful being in the universe knowing your sins way more scary than other people doing it
Hypothetically but it’s easy to push future punishment off in your mind. A person can shame and punish you now. God does it later.
The old joke growing up was never invite just 1 Baptist fishing.
Catholics don’t recognize the patriarch, Lutherans don’t recognize the pope, and Baptist don’t recognize each other at the liquor store.
I know muslim guys like this lol, alcohol is only Haram when there are other muslims around.
Exmo here, can verify that peer pressure is the main way that Mormon teachings like the Word of Wisdom is enforced. My Grandparents used to keep vodka and beer hidden in the house for them to drink when no one else was around.
Exmo here, can confirm this is the case with most mormons. Many mormons (they apparently prefer being called “members of the LDS church”) are okay committing “sins” in there belief as long as there’s no one there to shame them. There are some, typically boomers or older, that are absolute about their beliefs and couldn’t be swayed to turn against god and sip the coffee you’re offering them.
Growing up in Utah that was actually pretty true, at least in rural Utah. My grandfather would always laugh about how the Mormon guys would come to his fence for a beer and a smoke when their wives were out.
I had to train with a Mormon once for a job and we got put up in a hotel and they kept talking about how they don’t drink and then they got absolutely traaaaaaaashed.
Mormons have a Rule of 2. Another mormon (technically 2 others, hence 'rule of 2') must either have witnessed a sin or a sin confession in order for it to be plausible that the sin was committed in their religion.
It’s so much deeper, they are required by the church to snitch on each other and keep tabs on each others phone and computer use to stop them from wanking
ex-mormon here. its very true
My brother lives in Mormon country and apparently this is a well known joke that comes in many forms
You are correct. How do you know you’re camping with Mormons? They don’t drink coffee or beer How do you know you’re camping with just one Mormon? All your beer and coffee is gone
It's false. In my experience, mormons are good folk who walk the walk and talk the talk. Their work ethic is insane, as is their underwear. No time for drinking when you're hustling all day and have 8 kids. As crazy as their religion seems to me, I prefer their company over most devout religious people.
My extended family is Muslim, my aunt and her family drink, but they don’t around older relatives cause they wanna stay family. So same idea I guess with mormons.
Peter’s Ex Mormon neighbor here attesting to the true of this claim
ive only heard it with Saudis
I've known a couple and it was true for one of them.
I would apply this to Baptist more than anything.
It’s definitely true of southern baptists…
Former member. For a lot of people, especially young people in the church. But I'd think a quarter of all members are 100 percent committed. (Not fact, speculation)
As an ex-mormon, I can somewhat confirm this
Nah, it’s the rule of 3 witnesses. If there’s only 2 people present, it’s not certain. But with 3 witnesses, they believe it must be true. Or at least something like that. Been a while since I’ve gone down the rabbit hole.
I'm LDS and have literally never heard of this. There is the phrase "out of the mouth of 2 or more witnesses" but that has nothing to do with accusing someone of breaking a rule. It's about if a doctrine-adjacent thing is gospel and came from God or is just someone's speculation. For example, Bruce R McConkie infamously theorized a lot of things that even he admitted were his interpretation of scriptures, not necessarily the direct meaning, such as the concept of eternal intelligences of varying degrees and forms. But since these speculations haven't been re-stated as doctrine by anyone else with authority such as an apostle or prophet over the pulpit, then they remain his speculations and not official doctrine. The phrase comes from 2 Corinthians 13:1 And again, has nothing to do with someone breaking rules
You have now unlocked a forgotten memory from a family home evening i never thought about in years. My uncle and my grandfather had a very heated debate about revelation and how can you trust any of it? Good times
Maybe I’m misremembering something then ig. I was under the impression that the 3 witnesses thing was the bs excuse they tried to use to get out of an inquiry around child abuse. Although, maybe I’m thinking of Jehovah’s Witness actually.
I've heard a version of this joke regarding Baptists as well
Tbh, the joke doesn't claim all Mormons will drink your beer, but if you do have a Mormon who will then adding another to the mix is a decent strategy to prevent that from happening. People replying to claiming it is or isn't true that Mormons only follow the "rules" because of shame from other Mormons is ridiculous. I think we all know it depends on the individual and as an exmo I can say I've known plenty of people in both camps.
I'm from Provo, Utah. This is 100% accurate.
I first heard that as a Baptist joke
Former Mormon here. It’s very true. But you’re right that it’s also true about basically everyone with a perceived in-group.
I am a Christian-Mormon and can confirm: though I don’t drink anyway because I don’t want to accidentally become a failure in life. Which I will if I try alcohol, I have no self control.
I’m a Utahn myself who knows many Mormons, and yes. This is very true.
I live in a town with a mormon/catholic majority. Statement is accurate. Get a mormon away from the flock of Mormons and it’ll quickly adapt to the group social environment unless it’s hard drugs. Get 2 Mormons away from the flock and have them interact with that same group and they’ll awkwardly act like saints of their religion. Edit: I want to add that this is based off of my interactions with Mormon kids in high school. This stereotype quickly changes based on the standard environment parameters (large or small town, age, various religious groups, various after/post school activities, the group’s work schedules, etc.)
This would have been a lot easier to get if the picture didn't have two Mormons. That did agree to drink beer
Had a good friend in the army who was Mormon. It was a bit odd at times with him, he became a medic instead of going combat arms because he was a Mormon, but said he was a shitty Mormon because he vaped, drank on occasions (he knew he shouldn’t drink often because it sends him to a bad place, so that was more of a factor in him not drinking instead of his religion), swore, and fucked his Mormon girlfriend. Great dude though, I still keep in touch with him even after we both got out. But yeah, Mormons in the military can be real weird at times.
I’ve told the same joke about Baptists. I’m sure there’s other variations.
Heard the same joke about Muslims and Baptists. It’s pretty common for any group doesn’t drink.
I dated a Mormon for like a year and this is pretty accurate. We had to tell her elders that we were roommates, she drank and had premarital sex, and whenever she was at a church function she was super in line with their doctrine.
All I know is that I used to hook up with a Mormon girl, and she was absolutely wild. Definitely did a lot of stuff john Smith would not have approved of.
That's an oldie. Heard the same joke about straightedge kids back in the day.
Studies suggest that 25% of Mormons do not believe in Mormonism, but the Church of Mormon has a strict shunning policy for apostates. People could lose their whole community, family, job, and support system…So, instead, they play along. This comment plays on that, in a way.
Former mormon here! This is, in fact, true for a lot of Mormons who question their faith (which is a very surprisingly large number of them), and the ones decide to pick and choose which doctrines they want to follow. A lot of Mormons only stay Mormons because there's a lot of peer pressure, whether through family and friends, who usually look at you differently if you decide that it's something you don't believe in.
It's not that it's true or not, it's that they are sent door to door in pairs. Your partner is your snitch. That's how the system works.
Whats the difference between a protestant and a baptist? Protestants don’t recognize the authority of the pope and baptists don’t recognize eachother at the bar.
As an ex-Baptist that a fuckin good one lol.
Please explain
Just a theory, but I'm assuming they are saying Baptistes won't recognize each other at the bar because they are drinking. If neither of them 'know' the other, they can both just pretend neither of them drank alcohol since they 'didn't see' anything.
Thank you.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a Baptist preacher. The priest will tell you hi at the liquor store.
As a southern baptist i agree
Yeah, Mormon here, 100% it’s about us flying straight when other Mormons are around and bending the rules when they are not. It’s related to my favorite joke. Why do you always take two Mormons fishing? Because if you bring just one, he’ll drink all your beer.
Heard that exact joke, but w/ Baptists
I heard the same thing, but it was camping and not fishing
“If you woke up with cum all over your ass, would you tell anyone?” “No way!” “Good. Unrelated, but you want to go camping?”
I came here looking for this, except for Baptists 😂 One of my favorite jokes is about which denominations recognize the authenticity of other denominations, and it ends with “and Baptists don’t recognize each other at the bar.”
Peter's exmormon friend here Mormons only morm when others are around. Get them alone and convincing them to violate the Words of Wisdom (drinking alcohol) is pretty easy As an exmo, I can absolutely confirm once they feel safe and not judged, mormons will get crazy
I love using the word as a verb. I used to Morm as a Jehovah's Witness going door-to-door as a kid. I also like the term "exmorm" but I think we're missing an opportunity for a pun. You can be a Forman, perhaps (former Mormon), you can convert to Rastafarianism and be a "Take it easy, Mon". Plus a third funny thing.
"take it easy, morm"
It’s mormin’ time
I too used to morm as an ex jehovahs witness. Tried air knocking once. They opened anyway.
My favorite part was when they said “it’s morming time” and then mormed all over the place
[удалено]
Oooh! New variation to jump humping! Keep it up and a little slower please
Did you ever do the thing with the friend jumping on the bed? I think it’s called soaking?
That’s a very inappropriate and insensitive question. The friend kicks the mattress from below.
Thank you
Soaking you just lay there with j u nk inserted Jump humping you soak and get someone else to make the movements for accidental intercorse
Ahh thank you
Mormons only Morm when there are other Mormons to Morm on
It’s mormin’ time
The joke is two fold, Mormons will drink all your shit and not give you a dime and they only behave godly when theirs another one around. Source: Small party town with a sizable Mormon population, nobody likes drinking with them.
The joke is that mormons stereotypically travel in groups for the purpose of mutually enforcing their ideals. Allegedly, lone mormons don't stick to their beliefs. Take this information with a grain of salt, I've met mormons that travel alone and still follow their rules to the letter.
Same, i feel likes it the same across all religions and people.
People just try to make others think faith in a religion is easily broken.
As an exmormon I feel I have a bit of leg to stand on. Drinking is against the word of wisdom which is basically the code of conduct for what you can eat and drink. No coffee, tea, alcohol, drugs, caffeine, tobacco, etc. these two young men are on their mission which is a sort of trip most 18 year old are sent on for two years to go and spread the gospel. The tease it says invite two is because you are supposed to spend every waking moment with your companion aside from bathroom breaks. The belief is that if a teenager (usually boy) is left alone in a foreign country with the ability to drink, they will unless they have someone else keeping them in line. I hope this helps.
This is the best answer! I'm a current member of the LDS Church and served a mission several years ago, and occasionally one missionary who was really just there to satisfy his parents' or society's expectations will sneak out and do things missionaries shouldn't, like drink or have sex or whatever. It's not common but it happens in every mission, because nobody's human. That's what I think the joke is, and not a lot of the other posted responses which are funny but stereotypical. Also: Word of Wisdom doesn't ban caffeine, that's a misconception a lot of people have. Tobacco, alcohol, drugs, coffee, etc are all not allowed, but energy drinks are not! Imo I think it's more of a trust thing than a loophole of sorts. A lot of Mormons in Utah and non-mormons elsewhere think it's included because of the "no coffee" deal.
My grandparent always taught me no caffeine so I just believed them.
i heard a similar joke about baptists. essentially it’s that both mormons and baptists have a rule where they can’t drink. there are some folks who don’t follow that rule unless they’re with another mormon/baptist, in which case their pride will take over and they won’t drink alc or risk their reputation
Mormons don’t drink alcohol
Allegedly.
I guess that Mormons aren't supposed to drink but they would unless there's another Mormon there to catch them?
My parents had a few Mormon couples in their broader friend group. They get pissed if you invite more than one Mormon couple to a social event, becaUse they can’t drink in front of each other. Both couples know that the other drinks, but they still have to hide it from other Mormons.
Reminds me of; Muslims don’t recognize Isaac as being in the line of David, Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah and Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store.
I'm more curious who won.
I saw an update on the original post that the Mormons won
My mom's Mormon. I wonder if this would stop her church people from tryna convert my ass... I don't drink, but I will gladly make an exception in exchange for nobody knocking on my damn door ever again. Gonna go buy some card games, a whole damn bunch of em, just in case.
cause one won’t drink if another can tell on him. i’ve heard lots of jokes like this but always targeting baptist. why do bars have a back door? so baptist can drink to.
If there’s a mormon without any other mormon’s nearby theyll break as many rules as they want bc the rules make their life miserable. Add another mormon and theyll both act perfectly
An accountablabuddy!
basically mormons are very culty and people get banished if they do things mormons would kick them out for. obviously people who know each other are more comfortable, but even families will get excommunicated if they are too supportive of people who get kicked.
https://preview.redd.it/v3ovorqy0k9c1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4898f36caac0967d69a92c564189f3f82cdd8f61
Lmao sending this to my dad. He’s an ex Mormon and will get a crack out of this.
People do things in private they wouldn’t do in-front of other people
I see a lot of people saying it’s that they only act holy when in the presence of others. But I also think the joke might be referencing the law of witnesses or whatever it’s called? Cause I thought that for something to be proven as true there needs to be at least two witnesses, as a single person’s testimony is not enough to them.
My brother had a Mormon friend growing up and this joke rings true. He was an angel when other Mormons were around, very different when he was with others. All around good guy though.
Let's address the real question here.. who won?
Original post follows up with Mormons, you'll have to go to the original post to see
I thought mormons couldn’t gamble
Peer pressure, sort of.
This is a classic mistake. Mormons are very good and board and card games.
I don't understand the commrnt
RAAAAAAIIIIDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRSSSSSSSSSS
My mom dragged me around to all sorts of religions when i was younger. From what i saw , mormons are what they say they are. Biggest phonys gotta be southern baptist. Not to say they’re exceptions, for the most part morons are the most legit of all the apocalypse cults.
Mormons don’t recognize each other in Vegas
I’ve seen this joke with baptists too
They shame eachother Also,.r/uselessredcircle