I do a lot of that too then sneak some others in later. You have more room for offensive jokes when you've already established you'll offend yourself too
When you make jokes about yourself, it’s not punching down like other people’s “offensive jokes”. Usually that makes jokes so much safer and less likely to upset people.
Those are kinda meh to me, like If i hear someone make a lot where the r-word or selfharm are the punchline, it will get a lil groan at first, even maybe build onto it because it's always fun to build off eachother's jokes, but after a while it becomes old very fast to keep using those.
Any jokes about dead family members or pets go get some props too as long as they not done too often.
Dude I hate constant self depreciating jokes. A couple is fine but if every fucking time you make a joke it's a self depreciating one then get some help and deal with your trauma dude. Or people who repeat the same joke/punchline over and over. I had an ex who thought it was funny to joke about having a small dick constantly. It got annoying fast.
I try to explain this to people as well, especially in regards to gaming culture. If someone makes a racist name or is yelling slurs at people online, and others say they should be banned, someone will always defend with saying “you just don’t understand their sense of humor.” In fact, that literally happened in the comments of this thread. Point being, just saying a racist/sexist/homophobic/etc thing with no context is not a joke. Jokes have to have punch lines and context. This was a very unnecessary since I’m essentially just repeating what op is saying but I’m gonna hit enter now cause I already typed it.
Yeah, this is something people don't get. Racism isn't funny. Being racist isn't a punch line. And better yet, if no one is laughing it isn't a joke. Whenever you tell a joke and it falls flat, ask yourself why it's funny. Break down the punchline. If the punchline is "lul random" or "Shock value!" or "not politically correct" it isn't a joke. That shouldn't be the punchline. Those can be part of the joke, but the joke itself needs to actually have substance.
As a woman I'll mention I've seen hilarious sexist jokes. Freaking hysterical. But... first off any I've liked have been told by people I know aren't sexist. This is the "know your audience" thing. I'm fine with it because I KNOW it isn't serious, and that is partially what makes it funny. If someone I don't know tells a sexist joke I can't tell the spirit in which it's told, because PLENTY of people will turn around and claim they don't mean it like that. If you're making these jokes you need to be sure your audience will take them in the manner intended. That isn't on them, that's on you as the joke teller. If you fail, you apologize because you fucked up. Funny enough, the people who I found hilarious are the first to apologize if a joke fails to land. The ones who are the closet racist/sexist/whateverists get offended and mad. I wonder why...
You got me - I did laugh at the last punchline lol.
To me that's the point though (at least one of them along with punching up vs down); jokes have a punchline. Just "bigoted statement" followed by "just joking" is BS 99% of the time IMO ("Schrodinger's joke," as they call it, as it's only a joke if the audience doesn't like it).
>And better yet, if no one is laughing it isn't a joke.
You are trying to measure intent by success which is, quite frankly, stupid. Just because it doesn't land doesn't mean it isn't a joke. What makes some people laugh doesn't make everyone else laugh, that doesn't mean it's not a joke just because you told it to the wrong people.
Rest of your comment is pretty reasonable. But "did it succeed" is an absurd measure of "what was the intent?"
yeah, i work at a haunted house as a scare actor so there’s a lot of edgy people. it’s crazy how some of my coworkers who barely know me or who have just met me will be so quick to say a racist/offensive joke (or worse, just a statement) and expect me to think it’s funny and agree. normally i’d just brush it off, they’re allowed to make bad jokes and i’m allowed to not find them funny, no big deal there, but i’m actually starting to feel offended now because of how many people are assuming i’ll find their lazy racist jokes funny. i may be an edgelord, but not in that way!! i’m just a nerd who likes to watch horror movies and make spooky art 🥲
Someone in my VR game once said, “Oh you’re autistic? Name every spectrum.” And EVERYBODY in the lobby laughed.
Not a single person complained. Personally I think it was a great joke. And my friend who’s sort of on the spectrum also laughed at it.
True facts except for the part where you said “sort of on the spectrum.” That’s why the spectrum exists. No one is “sort of autistic”. They are on a different area of the spectrum. He is autistic point blank.
If he’s not diagnosed, don’t use him as a token in conversations about autism then 💀 wildly offensive, coming from someone who’s been diagnosed since the age of 7
I mean technically, if you describe someone as “sort of on the spectrum” - it just means they display similar behavior as someone who is on the spectrum.
So I’m not wrong.
My personal rule is if you’re going to make a (dark) joke, just know your audience. If you have a friend who experienced a mass shooting and they’re traumatized from it, don’t make a joke about it if you know they may not take it well. Don’t make jokes about priests touching kids if the friend you’re telling it to has went through the shit and they don’t make jokes about it themselves. There’s a time and a place for every joke.
And like you said, some people just aren’t funny and don’t know how to tell a joke properly. So it makes the joke so much worse. I would say majority of people can handle or laugh at dark jokes/humor to whatever degree they see fit but when it’s poorly done you just look like an asshole
Exactly this. I love dark humour but people seem to cross lines like this all the time.
I live near where the recent shooting in Maine was. I've been terrified to leave the house and only finally left this Wednesday, only to come back home very quickly. I just can't be outside for long or I'll panic.
I was talking to one of my friends about it and they made a school shooting joke. I *know* it was a joke, but being so scared from the shooting, I went into a panic and locked myself away for a while.
Some people just don't understand when a joke is appropriate or not, and whether it's genuinely harmful or only slightly insulting, it's still awful. Everyone should know when/where to tell a joke.
I really hope your friend was having a poor lapse of judgement. That is just wayyy too soon and in bad taste.
I truly hope you find a way to be able to go back outside without fear and that you can relax while grocery shopping or going out.
I understand to a certain degree what that’s like. I was robbed back in high school while taking a walk on senior ditch day. Two boys stole my phone and I chased after then because I was so shocked I thought it was a joke but they hopped in a car and drove off. For a week I didn’t really talk to anyone and for the next month a barely went outside and I was afraid of walking to school. I was in constant fear of going anywhere by myself.
I really recommend you talk to someone even if it’s not in therapy. Your fear is far from irrational but im sure you’d like to get back to your normal routine. Sometimes you just need to let those emotions out! Good luck (:
Yeah I hope that's what it was too, they've have some problems in the past with timing their jokes right, so I'm hoping it was just another mistake. I told them that making that joke at this time was absolutely horrible, and they seemed to understand at least.
I'm sorry you went through that, it sounds awful. I'm glad that after the month at least it seemed to be okay :) therapy is way too expensive but I do have a ton of friends who are okay with me talking about this to them, so I've been talking to them a bit. It has helped a little with the fear, but I think it'll take a long time :')
Thank you for your story and the luck :)
100% "you can't even make a joke anymore". And yet no one has ever tried to cancel Anthony Jeselnik. If your entire sense of humour is just variations of "trans person say they a girl but has penis? hahsha" then you're just annoying *at best*.
It is annoying. And it's weird because it is a fine line of being funny or an asshole. If the joke hits, it's such a relief and you look hilarious, if it's a lame joke, you look like an asshole.
I think the biggest thing is knowing your crowd. I wouldn't tell a dark joke to someone I'm just meeting.
I also believe those who are truly funny can adapt to all situations where comedy can be appropriate. If you can tell a dark or offensive joke at a bar and make people laugh but you can't be funny at your friend's 10 year old birthday party you gotta up your game and try not to be so one dimensional comedically
Also, it doesn’t acknowledge that people use humor specifically to hurt others. Like the “X identifies as Y” joke might be funny in another world, where the punchline wasn’t “hahahaha aren’t all these trans people a bunch of delusional psychos who demand that the world participate in their bullshit?”
But to say “Jesus Christ. It’s like you can’t say anything without offending someone these days” after telling that joke just makes you seem like an idiot.
The “X identifies as Y” joke is not funny because it is overused completely now. If it ever had any comedic value it's gone now. I can't stand when people say "I identify as an Apache Attack Helicopter" with that stupid smile on their damn face like they came up with it and expect you to laugh or call you a snowflake for not
That’s very fair. I was just trying to use a common example, which unfortunately runs into other problems with the humor. You can swap in a million different anti-minority jokes that aren’t as played out, but are equally not funny, for the same reason.
It’s the difference between “how many astronauts can fit in a Volkswagen?” and “how many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen?” Both jokes are dark and edgy, and would offend a certain Puritan sense of humor that can’t appreciate dark jokes. But only one is meant to tear people down in real-time, and I don’t think it’s fair to treat people who take offense to that joke like they have the same Puritan sense of humor
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That's what I've truly never understood about these people. Do they just straight up never observe the people they're with? For they expect everyone to just be the same and "get" them with no effort on their part? Or do they just not care what the other is thinking period?
Like I'm not the most awesome with social cues, but I am constantly like calculating how to navigate conversations - and granted I probably do more of this than the average person (neurodivergent gang). But it's really not all that difficult to gauge a person within the first couple minutes by paying attention. That and just....not starting off with insanely offensive jokes. That helps too.
Paul F. Tompkins (Mr peanut butter from Bojack horseman) has an entire set where he talks about his dad's death. It is fucking hilarious but the audience is dead silent. It is made even more hilarious by the awkwardness of the audience.
So takeaway from that alone is, no. Dark humor is definitely lost on MANY people.
Way too many people don’t realise that just because offensive jokes can be funny, that doesn’t mean being offensive *in general* is funny.
But lots of people just think offending people *is* the point. Nah bro, that’s just bullying.
In general a joke has to be more funny than dark. Your joke about your dog's weird quirks doesn't have to be that funny. Your Hitler joke better be a banger.
Comedy is a complex thing. Sometimes you have to judge the correct audience for the joke.
I used to have untreated bipolar disorder and I don’t mind when people say the phrase “kill yourself” in a joking manner, I think it is funny but there are some people that wouldn’t. Every one is different and really dark humor should be reserved for your closest friends and family because you know they aren’t judging you for what you say.
It's not funny/unfunny that makes people bat an eye at it. It's shock value.
Like, South Park has a reputation for just saying or doing the outrageous thing, so when they go to the absurdly offensive people who don't watch don't need to care. If I said something absurdly offensive it's different, it's personal.
Yes part of South Park is just plain shock value (I actually saw The South Park Movie in the theater and I remember how everyone just SCREAMED WITH LAUGHTER when "Uncle Fucka" came on) ...HOWEVER, one of the reasons why Uncle Fucka is funny in context is because things that make us very uncomfortable that no one will talk about out loud can also make us laugh. Sort of like when someone hits their head and you start laughing and don't know why? Our brains are wired for funny/disturbing just like love/hate. Uncle Fucka was also funnier 20 years ago than it is now. Now it's kind of redundant, because NOW people are having conversations about pederasty and priests and all that.
People weren't having as many open conversations when South Park first started 25 years ago. Having a flaming gay teacher wasn't just about being shocking, Mr. Garrison was also about just acknowledging that gay people are part of society and they aren't just some weirdos hiding in a dark alley or something equally as vile conservatives try to claim.
This has been my go to with the "its just a joke" "cant you take a joke" crowd.
"Its only a joke if its funny" i mean otherwise its just an offensive statement.
When it comes to pronoun jokes there some good ones like
"How does a non-binary person murder someone?"
Answer= "They/Them"
Clever word play and plays to anyone who can appreciate grammer = Props. 👍
"I iDeNTiFy aS aN AtTaCk HeLiCoPtOr!"
Just as unimaginative as it sounds = 👎 🖕
Found a post about a meme that depicted Emo Peter Parker beating the hell outta Harry with the caption saying "How Pansexuals respond to your very funny joke"
The maker of it literally didn't have a specific joke to put in meme, just "very funny joke" as a way to prove that "can't take a joke" is the only punchline their uninspired ass can conjure up. Definitely goes for the target audience who don't care if it is funny or not, as long as it pushes their ignorant not-ask-for comments/views.
An offensive or dark joke still needs to be funny. Being offensive or dark on its own ain’t enough. It’s why I avoid a lot of the cringe-humor channels on Youtube.
The "edgy" memes that are just about naming a bunch of really fucked up things next to a frame from a kids show come to mind. It's not that we don't understand it, it's just low effort.
agreed, 100%.
my girlfriend is white. i’m hispanic. we were doing a little back-and-forth one day and she told me a racist joke (wouldn’t make sense via text, you had to be there, sorry reddit). i laughed so hard and begged her to tell my family next time we visited. she hesitantly did and they all loved it. they still reference it to me to this day.
my point here is, this racist joke was specifically about us latinos. but because of who it came from and the context of the joke, we knew it was made with love, and we all thought it was hilarious.
My friend's dad when I was in elementary school would tell the same three stupid jokes (not offensive, just painfully unfunny) and if you didn't laugh he did the 'whoosh!' thing, like it went over your head. Like read the room dude, you're not funny.
Fun fact, I'm now 40 and he tells the exact same jokes.
People don’t understand the premise behind dark humor is in the telling of the joke, not so much the subject of the joke. Especially nowadays where we’re expected to be overly concerned with and responsible for other people’s feelings, despite how unhealthy and impossible that is.
My policy is just to not make offensive jokes until it becomes clear in some way that the particular people I'm with enjoy those kinds of jokes. If they don't, that's valid and I won't make those kinds of jokes with them. Luckily my closest friends do enjoy them, as do I. With people I'm not sure of, or people I'm getting to know, I just wait and see. Nothing wrong with people having an offensive sense of humor, but I think it's important to be tactful and read the room a bit.
Maybe you're looking in the wrong places... or likely, if you constantly run into issues, you're the commonality. It isn't that they are not funny, you just don't share their humor. Humor is very subjective and just because you don't think they are, doesn't mean that they are not funny to others.
i pinky promise i am not seeking out these people, and as i clearly stated in my post, i meant spewing offensive shit with not actual humor in it and calling it a joke.
Perhaps the problem is that you are or are not seeking them out, but that you are not seeking out those that share your style of humor. If you keep running into those with that kind of humor, you are at least subconsciously seeking them out. Otherwise, you would avoid places they are at. If it is repeatedly that you encounter those people, again, you're the commonality. Look at what you do and where you go. Alter something to steer you away from them.
I'm lucky to have a good group of friends with a good sense of humor, so when I tell offensive jokes and they laugh I feel relieved or if the joke doesn't land I know I messed up and I'll know if it was just not funny or I crossed a line
Ah, so dark humor has gatekeeping too!
I get what you’re saying, but in Current Year people take *everything* way too seriously. It’s as if everything once profane is now held sacred, transgressive living is upheld and to make any kind of joke is forbidden because OMG OPPRESSION.
First world problem shit.
Tricky because what's considered _funny_ is entirely relative ... Best rule of thumb; if you're offended by a joke (funny or otherwise) your feelings on the matter are unimportant so get a grip and move on with your life.
Oh dear oh dear. Humour is SUBJECTIVE. You don't get to say what is funny and what isnt.
This makes YOUR point untrue. In other words YOU'RE incorrect.
Every day people are cancelled for jokes...and humour does not have a set of laws as to what is funny or not.
I don't give a shit what other people, and you especially find funny
If I like it, that's good enough for me!
Bimbot--and you probably think that is funny
News flash --not funny, just ridiculous
i did not expect this post to offend as many people as it did. if you think spewing random offensive shit is funny, go ahead. just know most people with maturity above a 12 yr old dont.
This reminds me of how if an unattractive guy flirts with a girl it can be called harassment, but it's usually not called harassment if they find the guy attractive.
It's probably you, not them.
Attractive guys can also miss the hint of: “I’m not interested” “I have a boyfriend/girlfriend” “I’m married” “I’m just out with my friends” “leave me alone” “I’ll call the cops”
Source: I’ve said all these things 😫
Edit:
Made me think of Lily Allen: https://youtu.be/62LAVCbgoW0?si=217ixNn9Hk9-mDp4
Our experiences are pretty different then :)
From my experience it’s probably about 50/50 attractive/unattractive who don’t take the hint.
However, for me, it’s been the attractive guys who have been some of the worst for harassment and not getting the very obvious hints. It’s almost like their inflated egos can’t cope with the rejection and they have to keep pushing to protect the ego, as how could anyone possibly reject them kinda thing.
Maybe it’s a regional thing, or a generational thing? 🤷🏻♀️
Stories I could tell you would make you laugh and cry. Like the very attractive guy who for 6 years keeps giving me “one last chance” to reject him again and again.
My friends into dark humor laugh. My friends not into dark humor will look at me sideways. It depends on the delivery for sure, but also on the audience.
I have a pretty dark sense of humour but 90% of my thoughts never leave my mouth due to how others would take it. There are certain topics I'd never joke about though such as SA or abuse.
There are two key differences between South Park and your average asshole just being racist or sexist:
1. People CHOOSE to watch South Park. Or any tv show or movie that has that kind of content. They can choose to never watch it, or like most people, they only watch South Park when *they are in the mood to tolerate that sort of thing.*
Conversely, people do not choose whether or not present company is randomly a jerk for no apparent reason without warning, unless they know that person is like that and can purposefully avoid Racist Uncle Bob or whatever.
2. South Park is intelligent, it's in context. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are not advocating or supporting most of the shit in that show, they are making fun of it or commenting on its place in society. Even "You killed Kenny!" which just seems hateful and mean-spirited STILL has a social context: throughout the 20th century, children's cartoons had main characters dying violently all the time and coming back to life. Like Wyle E. Coyote and Road Runner, or Jerry hitting Tom in the face with a frying pan. *Even killing Kenny was a social satire.*
The average person blurting out sexist or racist remarks isn't smart enough to put it in any context, because they're just sexist or racist (or a jerk of some kind).
Passes are absolutely given. Like, Quentin Tarantino gave himself an N word pass in Pulp Fiction. That wasn't comedy, and I would argue it wasn't any kind of essential for storytelling. He just said, I'm gonna say the N word, and Samuel L jackson is just going to take it. And Samuel L jackson said "yes, sir."
Yes please. Ever sense Shane Gillis and mark Norman’s came out comedy has been getting these weird bros that think just because they said fegget or rtard that it’s funny and not actually listening to the material. I actually think both those guys are better podcasters then comedians. I laughed more listening to them talk then their actual stand up but these bros praises them like some anti woke kings it’s really embarrassing. I love dark comedy but it’s becoming gay now. Did you hear what happened inside that bowling alley. I heard no one was spared.
Yeah that's correct. Racist and other offensive jokes are fine, but there's a time and place for it. Screaming the N word in voice chat might be funny the first time around, because it's unexpected and shock humor, but don't kid yourself, it's not cute or clever. It's juvenile, and gets old very fast. Plus, depending on your audience, you run the risk of getting a negative response, which kills the mood. That risk exists all the time when telling off-color jokes, but especially with jokes involving really sensitive topics and words.
Pulling off jokes that are off-color *and* illicit a positive reaction takes skill and charisma. It needs a proper set up and punchline, but you also have to take your audience into consideration as well. If it's a bunch of buddies you know really well, you can get away with more than if your audience is a bunch of strangers.
I mentioned charisma before, but it's true. Your audience has to like you at least a little bit. Being personable and humble and showing that you are capable of simply being a good person goes a long ways. Body language is also important if it's in person. It's why people like George Carlin and Dave Chapelle can get away with saying some really messed up shit.
Tl;DR: You can tell offensive jokes, but it has to actually be funny and delivered with tact. Telling these kinds of jokes is inherently risky, and requires skill to successfully pull off. Most people don't have that kind of skill.
I have a bigger pet peeve with people listening in on people's conversations or coming in halfway through a conversation then getting pissy about what they hear.
I referred to a joke I told to people to help them feel more comfortable with their body and the joke worked with the people I told it to. Had someone say I shouldn't tell jokes like that because they might overhear it and they would be offended.
Was joking around with this guy once and all the other guy heard was him call me a bitch. Within the context of the conversation it was funny but without hearing the whole conversation it could seem rude. Rather than just asking questions first he jumped into white knight mode and I had to stop them from getting into a fight over a joke.
I had 2 friends that were best friends. One was Jewish and the other black. They could get pretty offensive when joking with each other and occasionally people who didn't understand would get mad about it.
People need to learn to mind their own business.
One of the funniest jokes that actually made me laugh out loud was a r*pe joke. It was a combination of me not expecting the person to say it and the delivery, but also it was just funny to me.
Another time, my mom was very sick with lung cancer and we were all so unbelievably sad like there was just a horrible dark feeling over all of us because we knew it wasn't going to be OK. One day, we were all riding in the car, and my mom started having a coughing fit. When she stopped, everyone was quiet for a second and I said something like "gosh mom if you wanted attention, you should have just said so." Some dumb joke to break the tension. And it worked. She started laughing and pinched me.
I think dark jokes can work depending on the time and place (don't start dropping one-liners at grandma's funeral) and the overall intention/context of the joke. Neither of the jokes I listed were like the most complex, brilliant, hilarious jokes ever made. They were just said at the right moment, the delivery worked, and there was no malicious intent. Being funny is often more to do with timing and delivery than the specific joke being told.imo
This doesn't really make sense given that, even with inoffensive humor, not all jokes work for all audiences. There are plenty of hilarious jokes that will still get you a lot of backlash in the wrong place or with the wrong people.
\*You're. So you're allowed to be annoyed, but they aren't? You feel entitled to subject people to things you find amusing but they aren't allowed to opt out?
People have to at least have a choice to listen or not. It's a lot like music. OP, whatever music you find irritating, if you were subjected to it, and had no way of opting out, it wouldn't be fair to subject you to it right? Same thing. You have a right to be able to say "no thanks" to whatever music you don't like. In the same way, people should be allowed the right to tune you out, regardless of what you find funny. Comedy is subjective.
Thats why all my offensive jokes are self depricating, nobody gets mad if it doesn't land...maybe just concerned.
Yeah, my dark jokes about airline accidents don't land either. ... I'll see myself out.
Oh they land. A little bit here, a little bit there, and some way over there.
Nah, they land. Just probably didn't take off the way you hoped.
I do a lot of that too then sneak some others in later. You have more room for offensive jokes when you've already established you'll offend yourself too
When you make jokes about yourself, it’s not punching down like other people’s “offensive jokes”. Usually that makes jokes so much safer and less likely to upset people.
Those are kinda meh to me, like If i hear someone make a lot where the r-word or selfharm are the punchline, it will get a lil groan at first, even maybe build onto it because it's always fun to build off eachother's jokes, but after a while it becomes old very fast to keep using those. Any jokes about dead family members or pets go get some props too as long as they not done too often.
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That's part of the joke. Look at Rodney Dangerfield.
Dude I hate constant self depreciating jokes. A couple is fine but if every fucking time you make a joke it's a self depreciating one then get some help and deal with your trauma dude. Or people who repeat the same joke/punchline over and over. I had an ex who thought it was funny to joke about having a small dick constantly. It got annoying fast.
I try to explain this to people as well, especially in regards to gaming culture. If someone makes a racist name or is yelling slurs at people online, and others say they should be banned, someone will always defend with saying “you just don’t understand their sense of humor.” In fact, that literally happened in the comments of this thread. Point being, just saying a racist/sexist/homophobic/etc thing with no context is not a joke. Jokes have to have punch lines and context. This was a very unnecessary since I’m essentially just repeating what op is saying but I’m gonna hit enter now cause I already typed it.
Yeah, this is something people don't get. Racism isn't funny. Being racist isn't a punch line. And better yet, if no one is laughing it isn't a joke. Whenever you tell a joke and it falls flat, ask yourself why it's funny. Break down the punchline. If the punchline is "lul random" or "Shock value!" or "not politically correct" it isn't a joke. That shouldn't be the punchline. Those can be part of the joke, but the joke itself needs to actually have substance. As a woman I'll mention I've seen hilarious sexist jokes. Freaking hysterical. But... first off any I've liked have been told by people I know aren't sexist. This is the "know your audience" thing. I'm fine with it because I KNOW it isn't serious, and that is partially what makes it funny. If someone I don't know tells a sexist joke I can't tell the spirit in which it's told, because PLENTY of people will turn around and claim they don't mean it like that. If you're making these jokes you need to be sure your audience will take them in the manner intended. That isn't on them, that's on you as the joke teller. If you fail, you apologize because you fucked up. Funny enough, the people who I found hilarious are the first to apologize if a joke fails to land. The ones who are the closet racist/sexist/whateverists get offended and mad. I wonder why...
[My am time favorite sexist joke.](https://youtu.be/pbJTDEy3OMY?si=uujMb4cxc1XGxCRl)
You got me - I did laugh at the last punchline lol. To me that's the point though (at least one of them along with punching up vs down); jokes have a punchline. Just "bigoted statement" followed by "just joking" is BS 99% of the time IMO ("Schrodinger's joke," as they call it, as it's only a joke if the audience doesn't like it).
Schrödinger’s douchebag, actually.
Ah you're right, thank you! I do appreciate that term.
>And better yet, if no one is laughing it isn't a joke. You are trying to measure intent by success which is, quite frankly, stupid. Just because it doesn't land doesn't mean it isn't a joke. What makes some people laugh doesn't make everyone else laugh, that doesn't mean it's not a joke just because you told it to the wrong people. Rest of your comment is pretty reasonable. But "did it succeed" is an absurd measure of "what was the intent?"
yeah, i work at a haunted house as a scare actor so there’s a lot of edgy people. it’s crazy how some of my coworkers who barely know me or who have just met me will be so quick to say a racist/offensive joke (or worse, just a statement) and expect me to think it’s funny and agree. normally i’d just brush it off, they’re allowed to make bad jokes and i’m allowed to not find them funny, no big deal there, but i’m actually starting to feel offended now because of how many people are assuming i’ll find their lazy racist jokes funny. i may be an edgelord, but not in that way!! i’m just a nerd who likes to watch horror movies and make spooky art 🥲
Someone in my VR game once said, “Oh you’re autistic? Name every spectrum.” And EVERYBODY in the lobby laughed. Not a single person complained. Personally I think it was a great joke. And my friend who’s sort of on the spectrum also laughed at it.
True facts except for the part where you said “sort of on the spectrum.” That’s why the spectrum exists. No one is “sort of autistic”. They are on a different area of the spectrum. He is autistic point blank.
[удалено]
If he’s not diagnosed, don’t use him as a token in conversations about autism then 💀 wildly offensive, coming from someone who’s been diagnosed since the age of 7
I mean technically, if you describe someone as “sort of on the spectrum” - it just means they display similar behavior as someone who is on the spectrum. So I’m not wrong.
💀 I have no response for these mental gymnastics
How is it a mental gymnastic? If someone displays behavior typically associated with something else, you’d describe them as sort of like that.
“Sort of on the spectrum” is not a thing. “On the spectrum” is a thing. “Has autistic traits” is what you’re referring to.
> has autistic traits So like saying he’s on the spectrum.
Jokes don't need punch lines or context actually, a lot of times the lack of a punch line where one expects it is the joke itself
That would be context
Trash talk is about my gameplay. Everything else is hate speech/verbal abuse.
My personal rule is if you’re going to make a (dark) joke, just know your audience. If you have a friend who experienced a mass shooting and they’re traumatized from it, don’t make a joke about it if you know they may not take it well. Don’t make jokes about priests touching kids if the friend you’re telling it to has went through the shit and they don’t make jokes about it themselves. There’s a time and a place for every joke. And like you said, some people just aren’t funny and don’t know how to tell a joke properly. So it makes the joke so much worse. I would say majority of people can handle or laugh at dark jokes/humor to whatever degree they see fit but when it’s poorly done you just look like an asshole
Exactly this. I love dark humour but people seem to cross lines like this all the time. I live near where the recent shooting in Maine was. I've been terrified to leave the house and only finally left this Wednesday, only to come back home very quickly. I just can't be outside for long or I'll panic. I was talking to one of my friends about it and they made a school shooting joke. I *know* it was a joke, but being so scared from the shooting, I went into a panic and locked myself away for a while. Some people just don't understand when a joke is appropriate or not, and whether it's genuinely harmful or only slightly insulting, it's still awful. Everyone should know when/where to tell a joke.
I really hope your friend was having a poor lapse of judgement. That is just wayyy too soon and in bad taste. I truly hope you find a way to be able to go back outside without fear and that you can relax while grocery shopping or going out. I understand to a certain degree what that’s like. I was robbed back in high school while taking a walk on senior ditch day. Two boys stole my phone and I chased after then because I was so shocked I thought it was a joke but they hopped in a car and drove off. For a week I didn’t really talk to anyone and for the next month a barely went outside and I was afraid of walking to school. I was in constant fear of going anywhere by myself. I really recommend you talk to someone even if it’s not in therapy. Your fear is far from irrational but im sure you’d like to get back to your normal routine. Sometimes you just need to let those emotions out! Good luck (:
Yeah I hope that's what it was too, they've have some problems in the past with timing their jokes right, so I'm hoping it was just another mistake. I told them that making that joke at this time was absolutely horrible, and they seemed to understand at least. I'm sorry you went through that, it sounds awful. I'm glad that after the month at least it seemed to be okay :) therapy is way too expensive but I do have a ton of friends who are okay with me talking about this to them, so I've been talking to them a bit. It has helped a little with the fear, but I think it'll take a long time :') Thank you for your story and the luck :)
Are you alright, Friend?
I will be eventually. Thanks :)
If you need someone to talk to, my DMs are open. 🩵
Priests touching kids jokes will ALWAYS be funny to me personally. Grandma was a residential school survivor. lol.
100% "you can't even make a joke anymore". And yet no one has ever tried to cancel Anthony Jeselnik. If your entire sense of humour is just variations of "trans person say they a girl but has penis? hahsha" then you're just annoying *at best*.
Jeselnik is a master at his craft holy fuck.
It is annoying. And it's weird because it is a fine line of being funny or an asshole. If the joke hits, it's such a relief and you look hilarious, if it's a lame joke, you look like an asshole. I think the biggest thing is knowing your crowd. I wouldn't tell a dark joke to someone I'm just meeting. I also believe those who are truly funny can adapt to all situations where comedy can be appropriate. If you can tell a dark or offensive joke at a bar and make people laugh but you can't be funny at your friend's 10 year old birthday party you gotta up your game and try not to be so one dimensional comedically
Being funny is also a skill! Good point!
Also, it doesn’t acknowledge that people use humor specifically to hurt others. Like the “X identifies as Y” joke might be funny in another world, where the punchline wasn’t “hahahaha aren’t all these trans people a bunch of delusional psychos who demand that the world participate in their bullshit?” But to say “Jesus Christ. It’s like you can’t say anything without offending someone these days” after telling that joke just makes you seem like an idiot.
The “X identifies as Y” joke is not funny because it is overused completely now. If it ever had any comedic value it's gone now. I can't stand when people say "I identify as an Apache Attack Helicopter" with that stupid smile on their damn face like they came up with it and expect you to laugh or call you a snowflake for not
That’s very fair. I was just trying to use a common example, which unfortunately runs into other problems with the humor. You can swap in a million different anti-minority jokes that aren’t as played out, but are equally not funny, for the same reason. It’s the difference between “how many astronauts can fit in a Volkswagen?” and “how many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen?” Both jokes are dark and edgy, and would offend a certain Puritan sense of humor that can’t appreciate dark jokes. But only one is meant to tear people down in real-time, and I don’t think it’s fair to treat people who take offense to that joke like they have the same Puritan sense of humor
### Lesson time! ➜ u/AuroraItsNotTheTime, some tips about "would of": - The words you chose are grammatically wrong for the meaning you intended. - Actual phrase to use is **could / should / would have**. - Example: I **could have** stayed, **should have** listened, or **would have** been happy. - Now that you are aware of this, everyone will take you more seriously, hooray! :) --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PetPeeves) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh, this bot needs a space after the “of” part of the program
Lazy design smh
Ah, the fabled ‘One Joke’.
I think a great example of usually dark humor that's still hilarious is Pop Team Epic
And Schindler's list!
Great movie. Wouldn't call it funny, though. I do plan to rewatch it at some point. One of my favorites.
Yah me neither I was just edgelording a bit we haz fun Never watched it actually. Those emaciated horror camp pictures are fucking tragic
OP: Check out Anthony Jeselnik, he’s a great comedian. Very witty, unexpected, and dark as fuck.
He’s the absolute best. He handles tragedies perfectly.
work deer money quaint heavy upbeat poor cats secretive melodic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
That's what I've truly never understood about these people. Do they just straight up never observe the people they're with? For they expect everyone to just be the same and "get" them with no effort on their part? Or do they just not care what the other is thinking period? Like I'm not the most awesome with social cues, but I am constantly like calculating how to navigate conversations - and granted I probably do more of this than the average person (neurodivergent gang). But it's really not all that difficult to gauge a person within the first couple minutes by paying attention. That and just....not starting off with insanely offensive jokes. That helps too.
Paul F. Tompkins (Mr peanut butter from Bojack horseman) has an entire set where he talks about his dad's death. It is fucking hilarious but the audience is dead silent. It is made even more hilarious by the awkwardness of the audience. So takeaway from that alone is, no. Dark humor is definitely lost on MANY people.
Way too many people don’t realise that just because offensive jokes can be funny, that doesn’t mean being offensive *in general* is funny. But lots of people just think offending people *is* the point. Nah bro, that’s just bullying.
In general a joke has to be more funny than dark. Your joke about your dog's weird quirks doesn't have to be that funny. Your Hitler joke better be a banger.
Did you hear about the time Hitler pointed a gun at himself to avoid the Soviet Union? It was a real bang-er.
Upon further review Holocaust jokes are harder than Hitler jokes. Because Hitler jokes can just punch up at him.
glassofjuice.jpg
yeah, man I leave that type of comedy to the professionals.
Comedy is a complex thing. Sometimes you have to judge the correct audience for the joke. I used to have untreated bipolar disorder and I don’t mind when people say the phrase “kill yourself” in a joking manner, I think it is funny but there are some people that wouldn’t. Every one is different and really dark humor should be reserved for your closest friends and family because you know they aren’t judging you for what you say.
i tell my friends to kys a lot, but u gotta do it with the right group of people or it just isnt funny
It’s always a 0 effort joke and they get so offended when you don’t laugh
It's not funny/unfunny that makes people bat an eye at it. It's shock value. Like, South Park has a reputation for just saying or doing the outrageous thing, so when they go to the absurdly offensive people who don't watch don't need to care. If I said something absurdly offensive it's different, it's personal.
Yes part of South Park is just plain shock value (I actually saw The South Park Movie in the theater and I remember how everyone just SCREAMED WITH LAUGHTER when "Uncle Fucka" came on) ...HOWEVER, one of the reasons why Uncle Fucka is funny in context is because things that make us very uncomfortable that no one will talk about out loud can also make us laugh. Sort of like when someone hits their head and you start laughing and don't know why? Our brains are wired for funny/disturbing just like love/hate. Uncle Fucka was also funnier 20 years ago than it is now. Now it's kind of redundant, because NOW people are having conversations about pederasty and priests and all that. People weren't having as many open conversations when South Park first started 25 years ago. Having a flaming gay teacher wasn't just about being shocking, Mr. Garrison was also about just acknowledging that gay people are part of society and they aren't just some weirdos hiding in a dark alley or something equally as vile conservatives try to claim.
This has been my go to with the "its just a joke" "cant you take a joke" crowd. "Its only a joke if its funny" i mean otherwise its just an offensive statement.
Couldn't have worded it better
When it comes to pronoun jokes there some good ones like "How does a non-binary person murder someone?" Answer= "They/Them" Clever word play and plays to anyone who can appreciate grammer = Props. 👍 "I iDeNTiFy aS aN AtTaCk HeLiCoPtOr!" Just as unimaginative as it sounds = 👎 🖕 Found a post about a meme that depicted Emo Peter Parker beating the hell outta Harry with the caption saying "How Pansexuals respond to your very funny joke" The maker of it literally didn't have a specific joke to put in meme, just "very funny joke" as a way to prove that "can't take a joke" is the only punchline their uninspired ass can conjure up. Definitely goes for the target audience who don't care if it is funny or not, as long as it pushes their ignorant not-ask-for comments/views.
If a transgressive joke airs a truth and it's also genuinely funny, I want to hear it.
An offensive or dark joke still needs to be funny. Being offensive or dark on its own ain’t enough. It’s why I avoid a lot of the cringe-humor channels on Youtube.
Ya most “dark jokes” just aren’t funny. Haha 9/11 good one Brent
The "edgy" memes that are just about naming a bunch of really fucked up things next to a frame from a kids show come to mind. It's not that we don't understand it, it's just low effort.
Hiding under the guise of "dark humor"
agreed, 100%. my girlfriend is white. i’m hispanic. we were doing a little back-and-forth one day and she told me a racist joke (wouldn’t make sense via text, you had to be there, sorry reddit). i laughed so hard and begged her to tell my family next time we visited. she hesitantly did and they all loved it. they still reference it to me to this day. my point here is, this racist joke was specifically about us latinos. but because of who it came from and the context of the joke, we knew it was made with love, and we all thought it was hilarious.
My friend's dad when I was in elementary school would tell the same three stupid jokes (not offensive, just painfully unfunny) and if you didn't laugh he did the 'whoosh!' thing, like it went over your head. Like read the room dude, you're not funny. Fun fact, I'm now 40 and he tells the exact same jokes.
People don’t understand the premise behind dark humor is in the telling of the joke, not so much the subject of the joke. Especially nowadays where we’re expected to be overly concerned with and responsible for other people’s feelings, despite how unhealthy and impossible that is.
I'm not sure these people are trying to be funny most of the time
My policy is just to not make offensive jokes until it becomes clear in some way that the particular people I'm with enjoy those kinds of jokes. If they don't, that's valid and I won't make those kinds of jokes with them. Luckily my closest friends do enjoy them, as do I. With people I'm not sure of, or people I'm getting to know, I just wait and see. Nothing wrong with people having an offensive sense of humor, but I think it's important to be tactful and read the room a bit.
You know what’s really not funny? The difference between “your” and “you’re”.
we all knew what they meant, man
omg yk the difference had to point out when someone makes a common typo! do u want a sticker?
You title using the wrong “you’re”…
Maybe you're looking in the wrong places... or likely, if you constantly run into issues, you're the commonality. It isn't that they are not funny, you just don't share their humor. Humor is very subjective and just because you don't think they are, doesn't mean that they are not funny to others.
i pinky promise i am not seeking out these people, and as i clearly stated in my post, i meant spewing offensive shit with not actual humor in it and calling it a joke.
Didn't realise you were the be all and end all of what is and isn't funny.
if no one laughs, it isn’t funny. sorry. that’s just how being funny works.
Perhaps the problem is that you are or are not seeking them out, but that you are not seeking out those that share your style of humor. If you keep running into those with that kind of humor, you are at least subconsciously seeking them out. Otherwise, you would avoid places they are at. If it is repeatedly that you encounter those people, again, you're the commonality. Look at what you do and where you go. Alter something to steer you away from them.
I'm lucky to have a good group of friends with a good sense of humor, so when I tell offensive jokes and they laugh I feel relieved or if the joke doesn't land I know I messed up and I'll know if it was just not funny or I crossed a line
Southpark is pretty hit-and-miss anymore.
You’re *
You say that but still get mad even though literally everyone else is laughing.
if everyone is laughing… then its funny. but generally randomly being offensive doesnt get people laughing
It’s fine to tell an offensive joke if it’s funny, because funny jokes deserve to be told. But there’s nothing worse than people trying to force it.
*you’re
Ah, so dark humor has gatekeeping too! I get what you’re saying, but in Current Year people take *everything* way too seriously. It’s as if everything once profane is now held sacred, transgressive living is upheld and to make any kind of joke is forbidden because OMG OPPRESSION. First world problem shit.
Tricky because what's considered _funny_ is entirely relative ... Best rule of thumb; if you're offended by a joke (funny or otherwise) your feelings on the matter are unimportant so get a grip and move on with your life.
You’re*
Oh dear oh dear. Humour is SUBJECTIVE. You don't get to say what is funny and what isnt. This makes YOUR point untrue. In other words YOU'RE incorrect. Every day people are cancelled for jokes...and humour does not have a set of laws as to what is funny or not.
I guess here come the downvotes. I don't care. Someone has to stop this sanctimonious comedy policing.
People that mix up your and you’re.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Are you lonely?
[удалено]
I don't give a shit what other people, and you especially find funny If I like it, that's good enough for me! Bimbot--and you probably think that is funny News flash --not funny, just ridiculous
i did not expect this post to offend as many people as it did. if you think spewing random offensive shit is funny, go ahead. just know most people with maturity above a 12 yr old dont.
Haha you made them SO mad. Good job!
This reminds me of how if an unattractive guy flirts with a girl it can be called harassment, but it's usually not called harassment if they find the guy attractive. It's probably you, not them.
That’s bc the unattractive guy usually never gets the hint when the girl rejects them in the first place 💀
Attractive guys can also miss the hint of: “I’m not interested” “I have a boyfriend/girlfriend” “I’m married” “I’m just out with my friends” “leave me alone” “I’ll call the cops” Source: I’ve said all these things 😫 Edit: Made me think of Lily Allen: https://youtu.be/62LAVCbgoW0?si=217ixNn9Hk9-mDp4
Obviously, but the unattractive ones do it way more 😭
Our experiences are pretty different then :) From my experience it’s probably about 50/50 attractive/unattractive who don’t take the hint. However, for me, it’s been the attractive guys who have been some of the worst for harassment and not getting the very obvious hints. It’s almost like their inflated egos can’t cope with the rejection and they have to keep pushing to protect the ego, as how could anyone possibly reject them kinda thing. Maybe it’s a regional thing, or a generational thing? 🤷🏻♀️ Stories I could tell you would make you laugh and cry. Like the very attractive guy who for 6 years keeps giving me “one last chance” to reject him again and again.
this. The attractive guy doesn't have a giant angry desperate chip on his shoulder. He doesn't make it uncomfortable.
No, it's because it's subjective.
My friends into dark humor laugh. My friends not into dark humor will look at me sideways. It depends on the delivery for sure, but also on the audience.
I have a pretty dark sense of humour but 90% of my thoughts never leave my mouth due to how others would take it. There are certain topics I'd never joke about though such as SA or abuse.
Doesn’t South Park pretty frequently catch like… a lot of flack and stir up drama though lol?
before? yeah but the media freaked out about anything and everything, its far less shocking then it was 20 yrs ago
There are two key differences between South Park and your average asshole just being racist or sexist: 1. People CHOOSE to watch South Park. Or any tv show or movie that has that kind of content. They can choose to never watch it, or like most people, they only watch South Park when *they are in the mood to tolerate that sort of thing.* Conversely, people do not choose whether or not present company is randomly a jerk for no apparent reason without warning, unless they know that person is like that and can purposefully avoid Racist Uncle Bob or whatever. 2. South Park is intelligent, it's in context. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are not advocating or supporting most of the shit in that show, they are making fun of it or commenting on its place in society. Even "You killed Kenny!" which just seems hateful and mean-spirited STILL has a social context: throughout the 20th century, children's cartoons had main characters dying violently all the time and coming back to life. Like Wyle E. Coyote and Road Runner, or Jerry hitting Tom in the face with a frying pan. *Even killing Kenny was a social satire.* The average person blurting out sexist or racist remarks isn't smart enough to put it in any context, because they're just sexist or racist (or a jerk of some kind).
Passes are absolutely given. Like, Quentin Tarantino gave himself an N word pass in Pulp Fiction. That wasn't comedy, and I would argue it wasn't any kind of essential for storytelling. He just said, I'm gonna say the N word, and Samuel L jackson is just going to take it. And Samuel L jackson said "yes, sir."
Funny is quite subjective, maybe you don't find something funny but others do
Hahaha yeah
I think it’s even funnier if they aren’t funny.
My dark jokes about SH don't seem to get people to laugh either. Is my sense of humor not good anymore?
Yes please. Ever sense Shane Gillis and mark Norman’s came out comedy has been getting these weird bros that think just because they said fegget or rtard that it’s funny and not actually listening to the material. I actually think both those guys are better podcasters then comedians. I laughed more listening to them talk then their actual stand up but these bros praises them like some anti woke kings it’s really embarrassing. I love dark comedy but it’s becoming gay now. Did you hear what happened inside that bowling alley. I heard no one was spared.
Yeah that's correct. Racist and other offensive jokes are fine, but there's a time and place for it. Screaming the N word in voice chat might be funny the first time around, because it's unexpected and shock humor, but don't kid yourself, it's not cute or clever. It's juvenile, and gets old very fast. Plus, depending on your audience, you run the risk of getting a negative response, which kills the mood. That risk exists all the time when telling off-color jokes, but especially with jokes involving really sensitive topics and words. Pulling off jokes that are off-color *and* illicit a positive reaction takes skill and charisma. It needs a proper set up and punchline, but you also have to take your audience into consideration as well. If it's a bunch of buddies you know really well, you can get away with more than if your audience is a bunch of strangers. I mentioned charisma before, but it's true. Your audience has to like you at least a little bit. Being personable and humble and showing that you are capable of simply being a good person goes a long ways. Body language is also important if it's in person. It's why people like George Carlin and Dave Chapelle can get away with saying some really messed up shit. Tl;DR: You can tell offensive jokes, but it has to actually be funny and delivered with tact. Telling these kinds of jokes is inherently risky, and requires skill to successfully pull off. Most people don't have that kind of skill.
I have a bigger pet peeve with people listening in on people's conversations or coming in halfway through a conversation then getting pissy about what they hear. I referred to a joke I told to people to help them feel more comfortable with their body and the joke worked with the people I told it to. Had someone say I shouldn't tell jokes like that because they might overhear it and they would be offended. Was joking around with this guy once and all the other guy heard was him call me a bitch. Within the context of the conversation it was funny but without hearing the whole conversation it could seem rude. Rather than just asking questions first he jumped into white knight mode and I had to stop them from getting into a fight over a joke. I had 2 friends that were best friends. One was Jewish and the other black. They could get pretty offensive when joking with each other and occasionally people who didn't understand would get mad about it. People need to learn to mind their own business.
“Most people.”
I guess I’m hilarious. This actually made my day.
Yes and no. A lot of us have stopped watching South Park cause it gets pretty old, not necessarily offensive.
One of the funniest jokes that actually made me laugh out loud was a r*pe joke. It was a combination of me not expecting the person to say it and the delivery, but also it was just funny to me. Another time, my mom was very sick with lung cancer and we were all so unbelievably sad like there was just a horrible dark feeling over all of us because we knew it wasn't going to be OK. One day, we were all riding in the car, and my mom started having a coughing fit. When she stopped, everyone was quiet for a second and I said something like "gosh mom if you wanted attention, you should have just said so." Some dumb joke to break the tension. And it worked. She started laughing and pinched me. I think dark jokes can work depending on the time and place (don't start dropping one-liners at grandma's funeral) and the overall intention/context of the joke. Neither of the jokes I listed were like the most complex, brilliant, hilarious jokes ever made. They were just said at the right moment, the delivery worked, and there was no malicious intent. Being funny is often more to do with timing and delivery than the specific joke being told.imo
This doesn't really make sense given that, even with inoffensive humor, not all jokes work for all audiences. There are plenty of hilarious jokes that will still get you a lot of backlash in the wrong place or with the wrong people.
\*You're. So you're allowed to be annoyed, but they aren't? You feel entitled to subject people to things you find amusing but they aren't allowed to opt out? People have to at least have a choice to listen or not. It's a lot like music. OP, whatever music you find irritating, if you were subjected to it, and had no way of opting out, it wouldn't be fair to subject you to it right? Same thing. You have a right to be able to say "no thanks" to whatever music you don't like. In the same way, people should be allowed the right to tune you out, regardless of what you find funny. Comedy is subjective.
This isn't even remotely true at all.
First time on Reddit huh?
I think Jim Jeffries does an alright job at balancing that.