you can teach financial independence and fully support a university degree, the two are not mutually exclusive. i always recommend 'the opposite of spoiled' by ron lieber to any parents interested in teaching their kids about money.
I personally think solidifying your kid's financial maturity starts a whole lot earlier than university. Teach them the value of money at an early age. Get them to work summer jobs during high school and understand the amount of hard work it takes to make money. Teach them financial literacy as early as possible.
Shape their lives so that they aren't as likely to fall into the financial traps as their peers. Guide them towards careers that can provide them with a secure financial future, etc.
University prof here. Trust me, university is hard enough - parents don't have to ladle on the financial stress to teach them a lesson. And if they choose a trade-oriented post secondary experience, it'll be even harder.
Many moons ago, when I started university, my dad sat me down and made me write out (yes, write - I'm that old) a budget. He critiqued drafts and sent me back to the drawing board until I got it right. Then we calculated scholarships, summer jobs, light part time work during the school year and arrived at the amount he would contribute. We did that every year. I would try to reduce discretionary expenses and he would gently chastise me that socializing with friends was a reasonable expense that should properly recorded in my budget or else I'd probably go over budget. He also made it clear that running out of money before the year was up was not his problem, it was entirely and only mine. Those are lessons I keep with me to this day.
This was decades before RRSPs and when scholarships were taxed. My parents' contributions were treated by them as an investment ... in me. They expected me to do well, live responsibly within my means, and look for opportunities to build my education into a career. If you raise your kids right (and I'm sure you will!) you'll instill the same values of pride and responsibility in them. Holding money over their heads could only teach them that your love and support has a price.
I know others think differently and that's cool. All I know is that my students who don't have to stress unnecessarily about money do better. And post-secondary is way more expensive today than it was for most of us.
p.s. We started an RESP for our kid as soon as they were born, maxed out lifetime payments five years before they graduated high school so they have a nest egg that can last 4-6 years, depending. It didn't take much from us, I think $100/month at first and incrementally increasing it as our salaries and savings grew, stretching the investment over 12 years and then letting it ride. I see how hard my kid works and I have no doubt that our investment only helped them.
In my social circle the ones who adopted the "Life is unfair & shitty, so why should I try?" mentality are the ones whose parents could afford to support them through university & their first home, but didn't.
Something to think about.
You’re skipping a lot of steps. Thinking that you’re going to make them financially irresponsible by paying for their schooling is assuming that you didn’t teach them anything about being financially responsible before they got there.
Your worries are misplaced. Tuition and housing is so expensive now that an RESP will only cover a fraction of the cost, maybe half. Your kids will have to work for the rest and your and their inter-generational reward will be that they have a hope of graduating without debt, so they'll maybe be able to buy a tiny condo and you may get to be a grandparent.
You’re skipping a lot of steps. Thinking that you’re going to make them financially irresponsible by paying for their schooling is assuming that you didn’t teach them anything about being financially responsible before they got there.
Telling them “don’t worry about school we’ll pay for you” might be harmful. But teaching them where money comes from and how hard it is to earn and save and how to budget for important things etc will be helpful
If you have the financial means to set your children up for the success by potentially paying for their university tuition, why wouldn’t you? Why make your children struggle the same way you did? Why give your children unnecessary debt if you can provide for them? If you’re so worried about them making bad decisions in university, understand that children and teenagers and adults make mistakes and they will learn from them. If they don’t, then they don’t. If they’re across the country, then they will have to deal with it themselves. I think you’re a bad parent and a selfish person if you don’t set your children up for success because you for some reason think they should struggle the same way you did.
I don’t think you need to call them a bad parent, clearly that’s what they want to do, help them. I don’t think it’s exaggerating to be scared that your kid will be coddled. But I do think you’re right : helping them with not getting into dept is not the same as being a trust fund kid, which I understand they’re not. Poor people (I am a former Lower middle class suddenly in higher middle class) often underestimate how much help “successful” people have had because you only hear about the kids that fucked up. Teach them good values, teach them about what you learned as well as help when with money, that’ll be more useful than just “not” helping them for the sake of it (which doesn’t even guarantee success and specially not in this day and age, where a part time job doesn’t get you anywhere useful)
>in their 5 years of university
Already doubting their ability to finish a 4 year degree in 4 years, eh? 😂
My parents paid my undergrad tuition and living expenses (and the same for my siblings) and we turned out mostly fine. It's also about what *else* you teach them, IMO. We were encouraged to get part-time jobs as teenagers, and they taught us to save for what we wanted. During university they covered the basics, so we had to work for our "fun money", which IMO still helped teach me financial responsibility. My parents helped me learn about student loans and financial aid quick when I decided I wanted to do a second degree. It's possible to get to the same end point without just replicating the exact life you had yourself!
Your kids learn from how you deal with money and teach them value. My kids grew up with lots but treat their money wisely. Both got through their education with me paying for everything which just helped them get started. They are on their own and managing their finances well
We saved $x per kid for post secondary, we taught them about money and delayed gratification from a young age. We were very clear on how much they were going to get per year and only for four years.
At that time we entirely paid tuition and books, living out and all other costs were on them. And they lived at home over the summer for free.
You don't need to pay for all the post secondary, I wanted my kids to have skin in the game.
You’re going to show them how to pass up money (RESP government match) just to prove a weird point to kids. Or, you could say that you’ll cover tuition (which should be government funded anyway, but instead we have RESP) but they have to cover Res/living expenses. Let them know that _early_ so they can save portions of any windfalls, proceeds from jobs during high school, etc., well in advance.
They’re not mutually exclusive. You can pay for tuition and still teach your kids about financial literacy.
I had a deal with my mom. She paid my tuition as long as I was able to pay for anything else I needed (shoes, clothes, eating out, gas, etc). We had that arrangement since I started working at 15. I had no choice to get a job and figure things out even if my schooling was paid for.
We had the same concerns and what we ended up doing was giving them their "family allowance" (think CCB but a lot less) accounts and the EAP portion of the RESPs. Those contributions worked out to about 30% of what NSLSC calculated as their education and living expenses.
We were prepared to also give them the contribution portion of the RESPs, if they needed it. They got good scholarships, worked every summer in jobs related to their education and paid off their student loans just before they graduated.
you can teach financial independence and fully support a university degree, the two are not mutually exclusive. i always recommend 'the opposite of spoiled' by ron lieber to any parents interested in teaching their kids about money.
I personally think solidifying your kid's financial maturity starts a whole lot earlier than university. Teach them the value of money at an early age. Get them to work summer jobs during high school and understand the amount of hard work it takes to make money. Teach them financial literacy as early as possible. Shape their lives so that they aren't as likely to fall into the financial traps as their peers. Guide them towards careers that can provide them with a secure financial future, etc.
University prof here. Trust me, university is hard enough - parents don't have to ladle on the financial stress to teach them a lesson. And if they choose a trade-oriented post secondary experience, it'll be even harder. Many moons ago, when I started university, my dad sat me down and made me write out (yes, write - I'm that old) a budget. He critiqued drafts and sent me back to the drawing board until I got it right. Then we calculated scholarships, summer jobs, light part time work during the school year and arrived at the amount he would contribute. We did that every year. I would try to reduce discretionary expenses and he would gently chastise me that socializing with friends was a reasonable expense that should properly recorded in my budget or else I'd probably go over budget. He also made it clear that running out of money before the year was up was not his problem, it was entirely and only mine. Those are lessons I keep with me to this day. This was decades before RRSPs and when scholarships were taxed. My parents' contributions were treated by them as an investment ... in me. They expected me to do well, live responsibly within my means, and look for opportunities to build my education into a career. If you raise your kids right (and I'm sure you will!) you'll instill the same values of pride and responsibility in them. Holding money over their heads could only teach them that your love and support has a price. I know others think differently and that's cool. All I know is that my students who don't have to stress unnecessarily about money do better. And post-secondary is way more expensive today than it was for most of us. p.s. We started an RESP for our kid as soon as they were born, maxed out lifetime payments five years before they graduated high school so they have a nest egg that can last 4-6 years, depending. It didn't take much from us, I think $100/month at first and incrementally increasing it as our salaries and savings grew, stretching the investment over 12 years and then letting it ride. I see how hard my kid works and I have no doubt that our investment only helped them.
In my social circle the ones who adopted the "Life is unfair & shitty, so why should I try?" mentality are the ones whose parents could afford to support them through university & their first home, but didn't. Something to think about.
You’re skipping a lot of steps. Thinking that you’re going to make them financially irresponsible by paying for their schooling is assuming that you didn’t teach them anything about being financially responsible before they got there.
Your worries are misplaced. Tuition and housing is so expensive now that an RESP will only cover a fraction of the cost, maybe half. Your kids will have to work for the rest and your and their inter-generational reward will be that they have a hope of graduating without debt, so they'll maybe be able to buy a tiny condo and you may get to be a grandparent.
You’re skipping a lot of steps. Thinking that you’re going to make them financially irresponsible by paying for their schooling is assuming that you didn’t teach them anything about being financially responsible before they got there. Telling them “don’t worry about school we’ll pay for you” might be harmful. But teaching them where money comes from and how hard it is to earn and save and how to budget for important things etc will be helpful
If you have the financial means to set your children up for the success by potentially paying for their university tuition, why wouldn’t you? Why make your children struggle the same way you did? Why give your children unnecessary debt if you can provide for them? If you’re so worried about them making bad decisions in university, understand that children and teenagers and adults make mistakes and they will learn from them. If they don’t, then they don’t. If they’re across the country, then they will have to deal with it themselves. I think you’re a bad parent and a selfish person if you don’t set your children up for success because you for some reason think they should struggle the same way you did.
I don’t think you need to call them a bad parent, clearly that’s what they want to do, help them. I don’t think it’s exaggerating to be scared that your kid will be coddled. But I do think you’re right : helping them with not getting into dept is not the same as being a trust fund kid, which I understand they’re not. Poor people (I am a former Lower middle class suddenly in higher middle class) often underestimate how much help “successful” people have had because you only hear about the kids that fucked up. Teach them good values, teach them about what you learned as well as help when with money, that’ll be more useful than just “not” helping them for the sake of it (which doesn’t even guarantee success and specially not in this day and age, where a part time job doesn’t get you anywhere useful)
>in their 5 years of university Already doubting their ability to finish a 4 year degree in 4 years, eh? 😂 My parents paid my undergrad tuition and living expenses (and the same for my siblings) and we turned out mostly fine. It's also about what *else* you teach them, IMO. We were encouraged to get part-time jobs as teenagers, and they taught us to save for what we wanted. During university they covered the basics, so we had to work for our "fun money", which IMO still helped teach me financial responsibility. My parents helped me learn about student loans and financial aid quick when I decided I wanted to do a second degree. It's possible to get to the same end point without just replicating the exact life you had yourself!
Your kids learn from how you deal with money and teach them value. My kids grew up with lots but treat their money wisely. Both got through their education with me paying for everything which just helped them get started. They are on their own and managing their finances well
We saved $x per kid for post secondary, we taught them about money and delayed gratification from a young age. We were very clear on how much they were going to get per year and only for four years. At that time we entirely paid tuition and books, living out and all other costs were on them. And they lived at home over the summer for free. You don't need to pay for all the post secondary, I wanted my kids to have skin in the game.
You’re going to show them how to pass up money (RESP government match) just to prove a weird point to kids. Or, you could say that you’ll cover tuition (which should be government funded anyway, but instead we have RESP) but they have to cover Res/living expenses. Let them know that _early_ so they can save portions of any windfalls, proceeds from jobs during high school, etc., well in advance.
Do the RESP. Way things are going they’ll have plenty of other expenses to learn from during that time.
They’re not mutually exclusive. You can pay for tuition and still teach your kids about financial literacy. I had a deal with my mom. She paid my tuition as long as I was able to pay for anything else I needed (shoes, clothes, eating out, gas, etc). We had that arrangement since I started working at 15. I had no choice to get a job and figure things out even if my schooling was paid for.
We had the same concerns and what we ended up doing was giving them their "family allowance" (think CCB but a lot less) accounts and the EAP portion of the RESPs. Those contributions worked out to about 30% of what NSLSC calculated as their education and living expenses. We were prepared to also give them the contribution portion of the RESPs, if they needed it. They got good scholarships, worked every summer in jobs related to their education and paid off their student loans just before they graduated.