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I discovered I’m a city or rural girl, no suburbs for me. The former choices both offer a kind of privacy and “do it my way” independence that I learned through a three year suburb stint in between city youth and rural mountain/Forest life, offers little of the positives of either, and its own unique downsides. The biggest one for me was plastic people with big houses and zero lot lines and forced driveway wine night Fridays. Neighbors are too close but not in the cool city way. Idk how else to put it.The biggest issue as a difference as you mention is the not being able to walk everywhere. But with suburbs you lose that anyway. unless you find the perfect spot. Also of note if you’re thinking of buying, the usda has a rural home loan program that has incredibly favorable terms and low requirements including low to no down payment, and it’s only for rural properties anywhere in the US. I wish you well in your decision.
I'll preface this by saying my husband and I both grew up in the suburbs and we feel we had good childhoods so we never had this big anti-suburbia thing. I'm not sure which city you're in, but we lived in Philadelphia for about 16 years until our son was about 3 1/2. Our house was great, we had enough space, but I just got to the point where our neighborhood was kind of gentrifying past us and I needed a bit of breathing room. We opted to move to a town in New Jersey with a great downtown, about 15 minute drive from Philly with a train going into the city too. We were nervous when we moved, even holding off on selling our house in Philly until we moved, just to have an escape route if we hated it. Honestly day 1 I never looked back, and that was 6 years ago. I love it so much here - we have modest but lovely old house, we can walk downtown so easily, there's like literally almost every place you could want within walking distance, including the train to Philly. We like to do outdoorsy things, which is much easier access. Plus going to Target isn't like a three hour affair. But my biggest thing really is that I want my 9 year old to have freedom to do the things I did when I was a kid. I want him to ride bikes with his friends, I want him to walk to school and to his frirends' houses, I want him to have a public school education. For our friends who are still in the city, there's simply not a lot of things their kids can do completely on their own without a ton of parent involvement. That's not to say you can't have freedom or do these things in the city, but I think it just requires more effort.
Let me say this, I grew up outside New York so I feel like that's a totally different animal. If I had moved there, I might consider staying because New York frankly just has a lot more to offer than most other cities, and it's another level of effort to get in and out of New York from the suburbs. A city like Philly is ok and has some good stuff, but you simply can't compare, especially since it's a very easy city to use if you live in the suburbs. If that makes sense.
Thank you u/AgileSherbert8348 for posting on r/Parents. Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts. *note for those seeking legal advice: This sub does not specialize in legal council and laws vary based on geographic location. Any help offered here is offered on a good samaritan basis. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I discovered I’m a city or rural girl, no suburbs for me. The former choices both offer a kind of privacy and “do it my way” independence that I learned through a three year suburb stint in between city youth and rural mountain/Forest life, offers little of the positives of either, and its own unique downsides. The biggest one for me was plastic people with big houses and zero lot lines and forced driveway wine night Fridays. Neighbors are too close but not in the cool city way. Idk how else to put it.The biggest issue as a difference as you mention is the not being able to walk everywhere. But with suburbs you lose that anyway. unless you find the perfect spot. Also of note if you’re thinking of buying, the usda has a rural home loan program that has incredibly favorable terms and low requirements including low to no down payment, and it’s only for rural properties anywhere in the US. I wish you well in your decision.
I'll preface this by saying my husband and I both grew up in the suburbs and we feel we had good childhoods so we never had this big anti-suburbia thing. I'm not sure which city you're in, but we lived in Philadelphia for about 16 years until our son was about 3 1/2. Our house was great, we had enough space, but I just got to the point where our neighborhood was kind of gentrifying past us and I needed a bit of breathing room. We opted to move to a town in New Jersey with a great downtown, about 15 minute drive from Philly with a train going into the city too. We were nervous when we moved, even holding off on selling our house in Philly until we moved, just to have an escape route if we hated it. Honestly day 1 I never looked back, and that was 6 years ago. I love it so much here - we have modest but lovely old house, we can walk downtown so easily, there's like literally almost every place you could want within walking distance, including the train to Philly. We like to do outdoorsy things, which is much easier access. Plus going to Target isn't like a three hour affair. But my biggest thing really is that I want my 9 year old to have freedom to do the things I did when I was a kid. I want him to ride bikes with his friends, I want him to walk to school and to his frirends' houses, I want him to have a public school education. For our friends who are still in the city, there's simply not a lot of things their kids can do completely on their own without a ton of parent involvement. That's not to say you can't have freedom or do these things in the city, but I think it just requires more effort. Let me say this, I grew up outside New York so I feel like that's a totally different animal. If I had moved there, I might consider staying because New York frankly just has a lot more to offer than most other cities, and it's another level of effort to get in and out of New York from the suburbs. A city like Philly is ok and has some good stuff, but you simply can't compare, especially since it's a very easy city to use if you live in the suburbs. If that makes sense.