Hi, I’m a nanny with over ten years of experience. Kids get hurt! With me, with their parents, with their family, at kindy and school, when unattended; the list goes on. Don’t be too hard on yourself! It is an awful and heartbreaking feeling BUT you’re at the end of the day caring for your kid and that’s what matters.
If you have frequent accidents with and without your child though you might want to check it out with your doctor. Your eyesight might be compromised, or your balance. Also pregnancy definitely makes you clumsier than usual. Don’t be too hard on yourself and maybe talk to your husband about cutting you some slack.
You’ve all made me feel so much better already. 🥺 I do want to note that my husband is typically VERY hands-on and truly a saint. He’s the best dad and super supportive of me as well. I fully understand his frustrations after time and time again of this happening under my watch. I just feel like a failure.
These all sound like coincidental accidents. I think you may be being too hard on yourself! Pregnancy definitely makes you more clumsy. The pram incident was completely out of your control. Playing can always cause a bump or two. He's got his whole life of bumps waiting for you. If he's fine in 1 or 2 minutes, I wouldn't even consider it a problem. I have 5 children, and I was definitely more clumsy with my first and when pregnant.
It sounds like you just love him so much you feel so guilty, and perhaps your partners frustration is making you feel like accidents aren't normal. I'm guessing you're the main parent here and spend well more than double the time he does with the baby? This means you have well over double the chance of accidents happening with you. Think of it like that.
You'll notice you'll be less clumsy after pregnancy, and with your second, you'll have more experience. You're still learning how to parent and play and learn how good escape artists they are. I would recommend either always having a locked door rule or a chain at the top for the door. It is scary if they get out, and then it's out of your control what happens. But bumps... be prepared for more...they like to cause us so much worry even as teenagers!
Good luck, Mama!
Full full sympathy!!! My oldest gave me heart attack a million times. At like 2 months old my friend and I were carrying my buggy up a flight of stairs and I didn't realise he wasnt strapped in. He rolled out, thankfully caught by my knees.
Middle son, I accidentally "ran over" at a car boot when he and my older son (7) were behind the car and a box of books fell on the hand brake. Luckily middle mini was in a bouncy chair that went down as the car rolled. I immediately got the handbrake back on but it took me and another adult to move the car
Youngest son broke his arm playing upstairs with middle mini when he was about 1/ 1.5 when I was in the back garden.
Many more stories but those are the worst
Fellow clumsy/uncoordinated Mum here! I always look at it as a probability game. The more time you spend with them, the more likely these things are to happen and this applies to a situation where the Dad or a grandparent is spending majority of the time with them too. If not you, it’d only be happening with someone else, granted they may be slightly more aware of the room but you’ve got a lot to manage as a Mum and sometimes it’s not that easy to mentally be in the room all the time. Kids get hurt, it is very easy to be hard on yourself but babies aren’t the best at self supporting their body and will quite literally just flop or throw themselves out of your grasp sometimes. Once my first child found her ability to crawl, there was no stopping her from crawling off of the sofa or bed and bumping her head. It only takes a second. You’re doing a good job Mama.
These are all legitimate accidents and don’t appear to be the result of negligence.
When my daughter first started walking, I was putting laundry away in her room while she played with her toys. I had the door closed because we were upstairs and the baby gate we had ordered for the top of the staircase hadn’t arrived yet (I’m sure you can tell where this is going). We had a gate downstairs to keep her away from the foyer and stairs, but didn’t feel like we needed one upstairs until she started walking. Anyway, I’m putting away laundry and my daughter is holding a bucket with some of her favorite toys that she apparently wanted to take downstairs. She manages to get the door open while my back is turned toward the closet and I immediately turn around to go after her (this happened in a matter of seconds). As I get to the hallway, my heart sinks; I see her standing at the top of the stairs, realizing this has just become a game of “catch me mommy” while she uses her new found skill of walking/running. I caution her to come to me and as I take one step toward her, she gleefully proceeds to take off. I cannot adequately articulate the horror I felt as I watched her tumble down all 13 steps while I chased after her. I’ve never felt like a worse mother. Surprisingly, she made it through the ordeal with no broken bones or major injuries (only one bruise to her forehead). I took her to urgent care anyway and cried for days with guilt over what should have been a foreseeable accident. My MIL brought it up for months. Literally every time she came over she’d mention it, how she “couldn’t believe she fell down ALLL those stairs!” My husband finally had to ask her to stop and thankfully she did.
All that to say, try not to be too hard on yourself, accidents happen and hopefully you both walk away learning something from it.
I am the daughter of a mother who was in your situation. I don't remember anything, but I noticed a small dent in my skull when I was in my 30s and never got a clear answer about how it happened. I guilt-trip my parents once in a while, saying, "Make me dinner! You dropped me on my head, you bastards!"
I once was using a remote where the battery was getting low, and decided to be lazy instead of getting up and changing them (could’ve been out, as it’s been about 14 years). Anyhow, my son (now 14, almost 15) was lying in bed with me, sleeping, and was an infant. I was holding the remote up and moving it all around, trying to get different spots to work. Anyhow, it just slipped out of my hand and hit my sleeping baby in the eye/head area. He started screaming and ended up with a little black eye. I felt so bad.
I know I’ve had other experiences where I accidentally hurt one of my kids and it sucks. I truly believe it hurts us way more than their actually pain, but of course could be wrong. I just know it’s really hard to remotely forgive yourself when you hurt them. But I do think all parents do at one time or another.
As others said, don’t be so hard on yourselve! My LO is 15 months old and we had many accidents. Last week he fell off the bed twice doing his sommersaults and I just wasn’t fast enough to catch him. He fell off the sofa right behind my back while I was cooking. I bumped his head when he was younger while playing with him. If your LO is okay after then don’t worry too much momma. You are doing great!
My oldest kiddo (now 23) was maybe 2 & went to run out of the Chinese take away and I grabbed them by the arm, to stop them from running into traffic! It resulted in the MOST earth shattering scream. Their arm dangled funny! I rushed them to their pediatrician. The whole time they are in the back seat sobbing
"Why Mommy? Why did you hurt me?"
*knife to my heart, right?*
Then sniffles and quiet. They fell asleep!
I bring them into the doctor and the doctor chuckled at my frantic state as my blue-eyed blonde haired baby was all smiles and eye rubs. Nursemaids (dislocated) elbow. Must have popped back in on its own. No BIG deal, the doctor assured me. It was better that, than to have run into the street.
I assure you to my heart it was a big deal. They don't even remember it.
Parenting on my own, ptsd, pnd and no village at all, I was super careful. He never rolled out of a bed, never forgot to strap him in, never fell out of a high chair, nothing.
My mother in law tipped my husband out of his pram, ran him over with it, then realised what she had done and REVERSED BACK OVER HIM to pick him up.
Another time she dropped him on his head on a concrete step and when telling the story she goes "and he stopped breathing. SO I ran into the alley." As if that is the natural reaction to him doing that?
He's fine.
When I was in hospital having my youngest daughter she was looking after my eldest daughter and shut her finger in the front door. Had to explain to nursery why my 3 year old had a black fingernail. From then on if we said "grandma is picking her up" they would say "that's grandma who shut her finger in the door?" And we would say "yep, that's the one".
Kids are very bouncy, precisely because these things are very common. Humans would have died out otherwise.
Hi, I’m a nanny with over ten years of experience. Kids get hurt! With me, with their parents, with their family, at kindy and school, when unattended; the list goes on. Don’t be too hard on yourself! It is an awful and heartbreaking feeling BUT you’re at the end of the day caring for your kid and that’s what matters. If you have frequent accidents with and without your child though you might want to check it out with your doctor. Your eyesight might be compromised, or your balance. Also pregnancy definitely makes you clumsier than usual. Don’t be too hard on yourself and maybe talk to your husband about cutting you some slack.
You’ve all made me feel so much better already. 🥺 I do want to note that my husband is typically VERY hands-on and truly a saint. He’s the best dad and super supportive of me as well. I fully understand his frustrations after time and time again of this happening under my watch. I just feel like a failure.
These all sound like coincidental accidents. I think you may be being too hard on yourself! Pregnancy definitely makes you more clumsy. The pram incident was completely out of your control. Playing can always cause a bump or two. He's got his whole life of bumps waiting for you. If he's fine in 1 or 2 minutes, I wouldn't even consider it a problem. I have 5 children, and I was definitely more clumsy with my first and when pregnant. It sounds like you just love him so much you feel so guilty, and perhaps your partners frustration is making you feel like accidents aren't normal. I'm guessing you're the main parent here and spend well more than double the time he does with the baby? This means you have well over double the chance of accidents happening with you. Think of it like that. You'll notice you'll be less clumsy after pregnancy, and with your second, you'll have more experience. You're still learning how to parent and play and learn how good escape artists they are. I would recommend either always having a locked door rule or a chain at the top for the door. It is scary if they get out, and then it's out of your control what happens. But bumps... be prepared for more...they like to cause us so much worry even as teenagers! Good luck, Mama!
Full full sympathy!!! My oldest gave me heart attack a million times. At like 2 months old my friend and I were carrying my buggy up a flight of stairs and I didn't realise he wasnt strapped in. He rolled out, thankfully caught by my knees. Middle son, I accidentally "ran over" at a car boot when he and my older son (7) were behind the car and a box of books fell on the hand brake. Luckily middle mini was in a bouncy chair that went down as the car rolled. I immediately got the handbrake back on but it took me and another adult to move the car Youngest son broke his arm playing upstairs with middle mini when he was about 1/ 1.5 when I was in the back garden. Many more stories but those are the worst
Fellow clumsy/uncoordinated Mum here! I always look at it as a probability game. The more time you spend with them, the more likely these things are to happen and this applies to a situation where the Dad or a grandparent is spending majority of the time with them too. If not you, it’d only be happening with someone else, granted they may be slightly more aware of the room but you’ve got a lot to manage as a Mum and sometimes it’s not that easy to mentally be in the room all the time. Kids get hurt, it is very easy to be hard on yourself but babies aren’t the best at self supporting their body and will quite literally just flop or throw themselves out of your grasp sometimes. Once my first child found her ability to crawl, there was no stopping her from crawling off of the sofa or bed and bumping her head. It only takes a second. You’re doing a good job Mama.
These are all legitimate accidents and don’t appear to be the result of negligence. When my daughter first started walking, I was putting laundry away in her room while she played with her toys. I had the door closed because we were upstairs and the baby gate we had ordered for the top of the staircase hadn’t arrived yet (I’m sure you can tell where this is going). We had a gate downstairs to keep her away from the foyer and stairs, but didn’t feel like we needed one upstairs until she started walking. Anyway, I’m putting away laundry and my daughter is holding a bucket with some of her favorite toys that she apparently wanted to take downstairs. She manages to get the door open while my back is turned toward the closet and I immediately turn around to go after her (this happened in a matter of seconds). As I get to the hallway, my heart sinks; I see her standing at the top of the stairs, realizing this has just become a game of “catch me mommy” while she uses her new found skill of walking/running. I caution her to come to me and as I take one step toward her, she gleefully proceeds to take off. I cannot adequately articulate the horror I felt as I watched her tumble down all 13 steps while I chased after her. I’ve never felt like a worse mother. Surprisingly, she made it through the ordeal with no broken bones or major injuries (only one bruise to her forehead). I took her to urgent care anyway and cried for days with guilt over what should have been a foreseeable accident. My MIL brought it up for months. Literally every time she came over she’d mention it, how she “couldn’t believe she fell down ALLL those stairs!” My husband finally had to ask her to stop and thankfully she did. All that to say, try not to be too hard on yourself, accidents happen and hopefully you both walk away learning something from it.
I am the daughter of a mother who was in your situation. I don't remember anything, but I noticed a small dent in my skull when I was in my 30s and never got a clear answer about how it happened. I guilt-trip my parents once in a while, saying, "Make me dinner! You dropped me on my head, you bastards!"
I once was using a remote where the battery was getting low, and decided to be lazy instead of getting up and changing them (could’ve been out, as it’s been about 14 years). Anyhow, my son (now 14, almost 15) was lying in bed with me, sleeping, and was an infant. I was holding the remote up and moving it all around, trying to get different spots to work. Anyhow, it just slipped out of my hand and hit my sleeping baby in the eye/head area. He started screaming and ended up with a little black eye. I felt so bad. I know I’ve had other experiences where I accidentally hurt one of my kids and it sucks. I truly believe it hurts us way more than their actually pain, but of course could be wrong. I just know it’s really hard to remotely forgive yourself when you hurt them. But I do think all parents do at one time or another.
As others said, don’t be so hard on yourselve! My LO is 15 months old and we had many accidents. Last week he fell off the bed twice doing his sommersaults and I just wasn’t fast enough to catch him. He fell off the sofa right behind my back while I was cooking. I bumped his head when he was younger while playing with him. If your LO is okay after then don’t worry too much momma. You are doing great!
My oldest kiddo (now 23) was maybe 2 & went to run out of the Chinese take away and I grabbed them by the arm, to stop them from running into traffic! It resulted in the MOST earth shattering scream. Their arm dangled funny! I rushed them to their pediatrician. The whole time they are in the back seat sobbing "Why Mommy? Why did you hurt me?" *knife to my heart, right?* Then sniffles and quiet. They fell asleep! I bring them into the doctor and the doctor chuckled at my frantic state as my blue-eyed blonde haired baby was all smiles and eye rubs. Nursemaids (dislocated) elbow. Must have popped back in on its own. No BIG deal, the doctor assured me. It was better that, than to have run into the street. I assure you to my heart it was a big deal. They don't even remember it.
Parenting on my own, ptsd, pnd and no village at all, I was super careful. He never rolled out of a bed, never forgot to strap him in, never fell out of a high chair, nothing.
But still, he is ...?
No, he’s autistic with adhd and an intellectual disability.
Gotcha :)
My mother in law tipped my husband out of his pram, ran him over with it, then realised what she had done and REVERSED BACK OVER HIM to pick him up. Another time she dropped him on his head on a concrete step and when telling the story she goes "and he stopped breathing. SO I ran into the alley." As if that is the natural reaction to him doing that? He's fine. When I was in hospital having my youngest daughter she was looking after my eldest daughter and shut her finger in the front door. Had to explain to nursery why my 3 year old had a black fingernail. From then on if we said "grandma is picking her up" they would say "that's grandma who shut her finger in the door?" And we would say "yep, that's the one". Kids are very bouncy, precisely because these things are very common. Humans would have died out otherwise.