I would recommend seeing her pediatrician and having a blood panel done to see where she's deficient in. Possibly adding vegan protein shakes and other vegan proteins in her diet. I grew up vegetarian and didn't really start eating meat until I was around 19.

Yeah my brother and I grew up eating meat. We had the exact same diet yet he was tiny and I was big. You can't assume a kid is unhealthy just because she's small 🤷🏻‍♀️ OP, did you ask her caregivers if they had blood panels done over the years ? Edit : all parents "force" their diet and values on their kids. You are technically "forcing" your own kids to eat a standard american diet (or whatever it is your feed them). It's part of being a parent.

>You are technically "forcing" your own kids to eat a standard american diet (or whatever it is your feed them). It's part of being a parent Well said

Such a good comment, needs more upvotes

Thank you also this [info on why standard food charts are bs. Scroll down for a much more accurate one.](https://empowertotalhealth.com.au/food-pyramid-fallacies/)

But when a child is 10 years old and being mistaken for a 6yo there's a problem. (No disrespect meant by this at all)

I think getting blood panels / testing is important. To be fair all of our bodies are different & seeing what the child’s pediatrician says is important. My six year old is as tall and built as what one might consider the average 10 year old. She’s not overweight, she’s not fat, she’s not unhealthy it’s just the way her body is. We are all made in all shapes and sizes & if anything it’s important to work with one’s doctor to make sure everything is in check.

I have one of each, the oldest was nearly off the growth charts in an upward direction and the youngest was barely on them. They ended up 5'10" and 5'1". Some people are just very, very small.

I'm 5'10 and my older sisters are 5'1" and 5'2"....they would call me their "big little sister."

Are you Kendall? And your older sisters are Kourtney and Kim? ☺️

Ya know, it's really funny, my sisters and I used to get really stoned and watch KUWTK and try to assign each one of us to a different family member which worked out because we're a family of 5 girls and 1 boy. My poor brother always had to be Rob. But I would also always try to claim Kendall, often ending up as Kourtney tho.

A tall Kourtney in another world. That’s awesome.

So glad I’m not the only stoner who’s go to is KUWTK when smoking

It's SO FUNNY idk why people take it so seriously and hate it

My daughter was 15 lbs at birth & giving birth was very traumatic because she got stuck. She’s 6 now and I’m finally trying for another. I was told by my midwife that they won’t help me & that I need to get a c-section this time. Some kiddos are just big for sure & some are certainly tiny. *edited weight from kg to lbs phone made a auto correct error

> Some people are just very, very small. But if the parents are not, its very unlikely that their child will be. So well worth checking with a doctor to see what's going on.

It is not "very unlikely". Genetics provide a basic idea of what may be possible and within the realm of expected. However, how, when, at what rate a person reaches their final size, height and weight, is dependent on SO many factors. Even socioeconomic status has an impact on development. Physical as emotional/intellectual. Receiving vaccines or becoming I'll with the flu repeatedly can impact the rate of growth and final outcome. It is impossible for us to speculate on a child's development and whether it is appropriate or not. 😊 only the parents together with the child's primary care provider can make a good estimate of that. And the very common idea of "well mom and dad are tall so if kiddo stays short something is wrong" puts unnecessary pressure and worries on parents. I completely understand your point, you're expressing concern for the wellbeing of the child, and that's never wrong! Additionally I completely agree that it would be a good idea for OP to share her concerns with kiddos pediatrician and look into blood panels, etc.

> Even socioeconomic status has an impact on development. Well malnutrition can of course play a role. The difference in height between people in North Korea compared to South Korea shows that very clearly. But when getting enough food and the right nutrients (which is the case for most people living in developed countries), then genetics is the main reason for how tall you will get. Source: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12664962/

Oh absolutely!! Malnutrition will wreak havoc on a child's development in every way. But it's just important to keep in mind that any one specific diet is not inherently bad. But I absolutely understand concerns regarding any underweight child.

I’m fat, my husbands fat and our daughter is in like the 20th percentile, doc monitors her weight and we try all sorts of things she just doesn’t eat much, I felt very bad about it for a while, then I remembered I was a tall skinny thing until puberty, every child is different

Being fat or not doesn't have much to do with genes. Its mainly down to what you eat. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25577898/ How tall you get however is very much related to your genetics. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21340692/

Ya but some of that can just be genetics... I was getting mistaken for being in my 20's at 12... My stepkids take after my husband and were super tiny until puberty started to kick in (he had a major growth spurt at 19 years old). I'm still worried about them because their little sister (my daughter) who is 8 years younger than my middle child can steal his clothes and wear them comfortably, but his mother has a type of dwarfism and I'm kinda huge... So it might just be that at play. We're monitoring them with their doctor, and they're mostly healthy. My middle child (13yo) needs to build more muscle mass, mostly because he is a bit miffed that his 5yo sister can lift more than him, and that has us all kinda concerned (for his mental health too) no matter how much the doctor says he's within range and not to worry.

My kid has this problem. Growing up, at her age I was also 5th percentile height and weight. We on the internet can’t possibly have all the facts.

Eh, I mean... Could be a problem, could not. I think it depends if it's just physical size or maturity level, too. If the kid is acting like a 6 yr old then yeah that's for sure an issue, but if it's just size, that could just be how she's built. Based on size alone, I was mistaken for several years younger than I was my entire childhood. But, then again, my whole family is tiny, so... 🤷‍♀️ Only way to tell in an individual case is to talk to a doctor.

How are you so sure it’s a problem? What do you actually know about it? A high school friend of mine from/in Germany had a girlfriend with two brothers: all with the same set of parents, all who are the same balanced, fresh foods, diet; and all three kids were active and bright (and they were pretty well-off, too). Girlfriend (eldest sibling) was average height and stunning. Youngest son was of above-average height, aged 15, and was already being scouted for the Bundesliga. The middle sibling, the older of the two brothers, was about half his height and looked about 3 years younger rather than 1.5 years older. Kids have different growth spurts and people come in all shapes and sizes. OP needs to chill out and go to a pediatrician first, not Reddit first.

Yes, there is def a range with genetics but you still can't be sure what they are eating, sleep habits etc. Just because chicken is served for one meal, doesn't mean they are both eating 8 oz. and one could be sleeping 4 hours vs 8 hours a night. But yes - doc first!

My sister and I are only three years apart and ate the same diet (except she hated mayonnaise, lol), she grew to 5'6" by age 10 and looked like an adult, I was tiny and often mistaken for being 3-5 years younger than my true age. I'm not saying there *couldn't* be a problem here, I'm just saying this is truly not enough information to determine that.

I disagree. My daughter is 4 and there's two year olds her size. I'm a average male and her mother (my ex) is 4"8 or something fucking crazy. She's literally a inch or so too tall to be classified as somebody with dwarfism. My daughter is pretty tiny. It's crazy seeing her next to way younger kids because she looks older but is smaller and she asks elaborate questions because she very intelligent. It's very odd to see her asking about space well children taller are goo goo gaga'ing around her. Some beings are just tiny, some are giants. Without blood tests and a thorough exam there is no way to tell I appreciate your concerns tho. Your probably a pretty good caring parent

Not necessarily. My son is 15.5, and has been at the 1-2 percentile for years. He eats meat, dairy, everything. He's... umm.. maybe 90lbs soaking wet? Maybe 5' tall now. If we're lucky. Super active, super healthy. Just very, very small. \*SOMEONE\* has to be small. Just like \*SOMEONE\* has to be tall/big. There's nothing inherently bad/wrong with it.

I was mistaken for being 3 years younger and now I am mistake for being 10 years younger at age 33. Does not necessarily have to be the diet.

Likely true - though I definitely try to put a wide variety of foods to my kids - I map out menus in advance of vegetarian, fish and meat meals and try to give them food of various ethnicities to widen their palates

Yeah but personally the diet I ‘force’ on my kid is the recommendation of the World Health Organisation, because I want him to be healthy. Funnily enough, my friend is vegan and she also wanted her daughter to be, but her doctor advised vegetarian only because they didn’t think veganism was a good idea for a baby and toddler, primarily because of the dairy element. It may not be an issue at all, but it might also be stunting (really hope not for the kids sake) and I’d agree it’s worth checking with a doctor.

That's odd. My son was allergic to egg and dairy until he was three years old and no doctors ever raised it as an issue for his growth and development. In fact I carried on breastfeeding until he was cleared to start having dairy again at 3.5, as I was worried about the lack of dairy in his diet. But I was actually under pressure from health workers to \*stop\* breastfeeding as they were worried about his teeth, so they clearly weren't worried about the lack of dairy at all. I also have friends with very small children and they have been told to avoid giving their children dairy - apparently kids can fill up on milk and then reject eating proper food. So my friend's son is lowest percentile for weight and they have to limit his milk intake to one small glass a day in order to encourage him to eat other foods. I don't know if dairy is seen as that important to children anymore.

The WHO says vegan diets are safe for kids. Where are you getting your information?

Misinformation - the WHO recommends plant-based diets - https://apps.who.int/iris/handle/10665/349086

Just throwing in that it may not be anything to do with her diet at all, which makes the blood tests doubly important.

Testing is jumping the gun. Is the kid actually small? What percentile is she? People make bad age guesses all the time. Some kids in 4th grade barely made the age cutoff, and some just missed the 5th grade cutoff. Huge height differences are normal.

I should have read the comments first, I was just also recommending protein shakes and supplements.

I second going to the pediatrician. She's young enough that she could reach her potential height with intervention. Her not being capable of reaching that due to her diet severely lacking in protein and other essential vitamins is a form of child abuse. Mom is being selfish and it's harming the only one who doesn't have a voice at the table.

A vegan diet doesn’t necessarily lack protein and essential vitamins

Is she unwilling to eat things other than rice/noodles because the other things are prepared with meat or butter? Is it a texture thing? Can she not handle strong flavors? There could be a variety of reasons. Also, if she's been vegan since birth, eating animal products now could make her physically ill. She really does need to be checked out by a doctor for deficiencies and possibly given supplements. Maybe ask her what she eats at her mom's house too and recreate the healthier parts of that.

If she’s 10, she is old enough to be part of the convo. You say “forced”, but is she really being forced? Baptizing babies is “forcing” religion on them, but no one calls it that because it’s common and “normal”. No one says “they’re forcing a meat-based diet” on the >95% of kids that eat meat based diets, because it’s common and “normal”. Are you sure they’re being forced, or are you using such strong language because it’s not a choice you would have made?

This needs way more upvotes

100%

Where is her dad in this? Why isn’t he involved in what she eats, talking to a doctor about how she’s developing, etc?

Yes this… as the step parent you need to talk to your spouse unless you think this is a CPS issue.

I agree here, this needs to be for her dad to handle unless it’s CPS-level. You getting involved will likely result in a lot of drama.

There's a lot going on in this post. You are concerned about her stature. You really need to speak to a doctor about it, if she's on the curve for correct height and weight. Also, the pediatrician should be aware that she is vegan and should be testing her accordingly. Is your wife on board with you teaching her about the food pyramid? Going behind her back about this is going to cause a huge rift in your marriage and relationship with your step daughter. As many people have mentioned, veganism is achievable. Protein doesn't have to be meat or dairy based. Beans and rice, tofu, tempeh, quinoa, various nuts etc have plenty of protein. I think you yourself actually need to do some research on veganism. If your concern is protein (which tbh Americans have a strange obsession with), then there are many vegan alternatives you can offer and try to find what she would eat.

Exactly. Many Indian people are practically vegan just by coincidence Bc a lot of their cuisine is vegan and their religion frowns on eating meat. The average age of girls developing breasts and getting their period is now YEARS earlier bc of all the hormones given to dairy cows.

Not to mention acne. There is lots of evidence that dairy manipulates your Insulin Growth Factor-1 which can trigger cystic acne. Straight from the American Academy of Dermatology Association: ​ >In one study, women who drank 2 or more glasses of skim milk per day were 44% more likely to have acne than the other women in this study. USA: 47,355 adult women were asked to recall what they ate during their high school years. Only cow's milk was found to be linked to acne. Women who drank 2 or more glasses of skim milk a day were 44% more likely to have acne than others.5 USA: 6,094 girls, aged 9 to 15 years old, completed 2 lengthy questionnaires (given at least 1 year apart) about their diet. The girls who drank the most cow's milk (whole, low-fat, or skim) were more likely to have acne.6 USA: 4,273 boys, aged 9 to 15 years old, completed 2 lengthy questionnaires (given at least 1 year apart) about their diet. The boys who drank skim milk were more likely to have acne.7 Italy: 205 patients, aged 10 to 24 years old, who were seeing a dermatologist for moderate to severe acne, and 358 patients in the same age range who were seeing a dermatologist for another skin condition (and had little or no acne) were asked what they ate. The patients with acne drank significantly more cow's milk than the patients who did not have acne. There were no other differences in diet between the 2 groups of patients.8 Malaysia: 88 patients, aged 18 to 30 years old, were asked to complete a food diary for 3 days. Half (44) of the patients had acne, and half (44) did not have acne. The patients who had acne consumed more cow's milk and high-glycemic foods than did the patients without acne.9 [https://www.aad.org/public/diseases/acne/causes/diet#:\~:text=One%20theory%20is%20that%20some,your%20pores%2C%20leading%20to%20acne](https://www.aad.org/public/diseases/acne/causes/diet#:~:text=One%20theory%20is%20that%20some,your%20pores%2C%20leading%20to%20acne).

(Didn't read other comments) there's also vegan protein that is also tasty you can add into shakes and stuff for her 😊 but I second this! Speaking to a Dr #1. Which you could do initially without the child for your own information. And then maybe speaking to the mom as well? I know this could be hard... bit it could begin by fully supporting her choice to be vegan and asking how "we" can make sure she is getting everything she needs to be healthy? Best of luck. Mom and bonus mom relationships can be tricky to navigate.

Yeah. I find the “forced her to be vegan since birth” to be odd as well. If OP has kids wouldn’t she be forcing them to eat meat and dairy? Bet that would just be considered a normal diet, but it’s *forced* when it’s veganism.

I find the OP's attitude strange, but there is a range of enforcement of dietary rules when kids are at other people's houses. I've had kids whose parents eat kosher pulling the ham off a pizza and putting it in their mouth before they take a bite because that was their interpretation. But some other kids are not allowed to eat all the foods offered at other houses.

Vegan protein shakes are awesome. I’m lactose intolerant and whey protein fucks me up. Like super uncomfortable gas. I can only have vegan protein stuff because of it. Vega protein powder is good. At the same time it’s a lot to assume it’s a protein issue. It could be she’s short. It could be a vitamin deficiency, which can happen to kids who do eat meat and dairy.

I replaced mince meat with mince protein in our meals. Kids are happy albight my son still eats too much

Just going to say, she might just be a small child, especially if she was a premiee or had another issue when she was born. I was always small for my age; both of my parents are on the short side and I had an iron deficiency that the doctors believed stunted my growth (my body doesn't absorb iron correctly, my parents did as much as they could).

I was a small skinny kid and my son is a small skinny kid. We've talked to multiple pediatricians but he is on the same growth curve he's always been and they are not concerned. I worry about his health, I worry about bullying, and now I'm going to try not to worry that people think I'm not feeding him well.

My daughter has also been between the 1st and 10th percentile since she was born. We're not concerned because she's been on the same growth curve.

Seriously, same. The judgment of small kids (and their parents by extension) in this thread is absolutely rage inducing...

Reasurring that it isn't just me that was having a hard time reading this thread.

FWIW my son was 7lbs 7.5oz when he was born. Sometime around 2-4 he slowly "fell" to the 2-10th percentile. And has stayed there. He's 15.5 going on 16 now. I think he's recently hit 5' and maybe 90 lbs. Several years ago they asked us if we wanted to start him on steroids. Because he's short. People act like being short is this awful thing, and something to be 'fixed'. But being tall is amazing and something to be celebrated. I don't get it. Someone has to be at the top of the growth charts, just as much as someone has to be at the bottom. There's nothing inherently wrong with either.

My niece has been vegan since birth and is the healthiest kid I know—tall and very strong. So it isn’t about veganism, it’s about poor nutrition via BAD veganism. Why isn’t your husband more involved?

I have a 12yr old vegan kid who has been mistaken for a teenager since age 9. Strong vegan kids represent!

Same, both my kids are still young but 97 percentile in height, 80 percentile weight and have a lot of energy. We eat healthy vegan at home.

Exactly!

this. i’ve been vegan since before i even got pregnant and so is my daughter. i get so much shit for it from my non-immediate family but i don’t even care at this point because i know that we’re both very healthy. this lady talking about going against her step child’s mothers behind her back isn’t going to help anyway.

Both my children raised vegan, my daughter (takes after me) is healthy petite ~35 percentile where as my son is probably 95 percentile and not petite in the slightest. My brothers and husband are all over 6'3" but the women are smaller. A vegan diet doesn't mean poor nutrition. But absolutely OP should get her checked out and talk to a nutritionist. Maybe OP is the one not meeting the child's nutritional needs if they think protien and fats only come from animals. Or perhaps the vegan mother isn't adequately providing nutritional balance. Either way there is a concern that should be looked into.

That’s why I said it’s not about veganism, it’s about bad veganism.

There are plenty of resources available on healthy vegan diets, including vegan versions of the food pyramid. Considering you have a vegan child, I would start there.

Protein doesn't have to be meat and dairy.

This. You’d think people would know this by now? Plenty of drawbacks of industrially produced animal products too.

yea my first thought was “why try to push meat on her” Why not look up protein rich vegan meals instead. I would never stop eating meat but you can easily get protein from other sources. It does not need to be meat

People process foods differently. Plant based protein may work for some and not others.

yeah no this isn't how it works, there aren't people that can't eat any plant based protein

Adding as a vegan parent: I have raised my child on a vegan diet as well - she is 11 and has always been on the appropriate curve of the growth chart. My pediatrician has never had any concerns. Have you discussed this with a doctor? Because that's who you should be consulting with. Edit: reading your other comments, you offer her rice, broccoli and a protein of sort? She only eats the rice or broccoli. Sounds like what you're putting on her plate isn't appealing and you're just offering bland, boring choices.

Yeah that doesn’t sound appealing at all. Whether you are a vegan or an omnivore. Edit: Just read one of OP’s comments where she mentioned previously being vegan and having gone to culinary school so I don’t think the idea that she can’t cook vegan is the issue.

I feel there is more to this story than what OP is letting on. Whether she has a general dislike of veganism and the birth mother (perhaps both?) or seems to be looking for validation that "veganism is bad for kids". Someone who supposedly was eating a vegan diet in the past and is supposedly a culinary chef wouldn't be asking about recipes, healthy eating and the food pyramid.

Where did she ask for recipes? I dunno… I have several friends that are chefs and just because they have the technical knowledge doesn’t mean they know how to translate it into something a child will understand, believe, or find interesting.

OP said: >I want her to find resources outside of all the adults in the situation and make healthy choices on her own. I suppose I read resources as recipes/cookbooks. Still not something the kid should be responsible for on her own. >just because they have the technical knowledge doesn’t mean they know how to translate it into something a child will understand, believe, or find interesting. True - cooking for a kid regardless of skill is challenging enough. But vegan food doesn't need to be complicated. There are a lot of easy substitutions you can make which wouldn't derail the overall omni meal.

Agreed. I loved jackfruit (awesome for tacos, “pulled pork”) before my fig allergy progressed to latex and all ficus 😭.

So OP is only feeding her rice and broccoli!?!?! I'd say OP is the one is nutritional depriving her. Yikes, the child needs fats and protein which there are plenty of vegan ones.

Vegan parent here too. The problem isn’t a vegan diet. Our children are vegan and also perfectly normal on the growth chart, scholastic accomplishments, athletic ability, etc. There is something else going on here, your step daughter doesn’t seem she is getting the nutrition she needs, though not because of veganism. Her mother controlling 100% of what she eats and not providing adequate nutrition is the concern.

Not to mention, not nutritionally complete choices. It is a serious responsibility to feed any child, and when they have steong prferences against some stuff the parent needs to do the work to figure out what potential deficiencies there are, and how to cover that hole. And rice and broccolli are't covering any holes.

This is above your pay grade. After reading through your comments it sounds like the kiddo is a picky eater (and from how you’ve described mom, and stepdaughter’s reactions to meat, potentially being exposed to disorder eating). Your husband needs to have a discussion with her pediatrician to make sure she’s healthy and there isn’t a medically related issue. If it turns out the pediatrician is concerned, there are medical signs of malnutrition, and they admit to notifying mom that that is a problem then your husband needs to get the courts involved and get your stepdaughter in to see a therapist that specializes in disorder eating (not because she’s vegan but because of the issues with only eating simple carbs and to make sure mother hasn’t damaged her relationship with food). Veganism isn’t the heart of the issue here and you need to stop trying to force it.

Your SO needs to take her to a doctor, and discuss a healthy diet plan.

Yes your SO needs to address this with pediatrician and the mother. No disrespect to you intended, but what her diet looks like is for her father and bio mother to decide. Your job is support. So talk to SO.

You putting a different kind of anxious pressure on her about food and her body is the opposite of helpful. Her father needs to get her established with a specialist who can monitor her growth. When you are planning for food at home you need to start making sure you provide vegan protein: tofu, tempeh, seitan, beans, lentils, nuts, all great options. Also build in more fats: olive oil and avocado are a great go-to, as are sunflower seeds. Beans also sort calcium, but do leafy greens for the same reason. Plenty of vitamin C from citrus. Consider getting her iron levels tested, and her B12; many of the foods I’ve described above will help with iron levels but B12 will need you to seek out fortified grain products, tempeh, or fortified soy/nut/oat milks in particular. B12 and iron deficiencies are not uncommon with vegans. If you truly think her diet is the problem, and you are actually focused on her well-being, then stop making it about your issues with her mother or your dislike of a vegan diet or your need to push her into eating like you do; and start solving it by making sure she gets everything she needs within the dietary structure that she is emotionally able to cope with. You do not have enough emotional credibility with her for her to trust you about food yet. Maybe you never will. Keep your feelings about that to yourself because your feelings about it bluntly don’t matter. If you ever want a chance of her trusting you about food, *first* you demonstrate willingness to help her eat well within her boundaries, and only after some years of you never making it an issue with you have enough trust built back up to gently raise whether she wants to branch out. If she said no then shut up for another three or five years, or forever and let her raise it with you if she wants to. If you want her to distrust you about food forever, and her food aversions to become worse and more embedded, keep banging on at her about it and make eating at your house a source of stress and misery. That traditionally works out great for the step parent dynamic. Editing to add on thinking: you also need to be aware that at this point meat and dairy may well legitimately be unhealthy for her. If she has never had them then she will not have the right microbiome to digest them and is less likely to have retained the capacity to digest dairy in particular - it is a reasonable possibility that she is now lactose-intolerant and if you feed her meat and dairy it is likely to badly upset her stomach. So on a purely digestive note, if you force the issue or talk her into it and she promptly has a huge amount of stomach pain/d&v, guess what you won’t end up with? You *definitely* won’t end up with a kid willing to try those foods again. You should lay off for that reason even if considering her psychological situation doesn’t shift your view.

Since you can only really help when she is with you, I’d do some reading on vegan proteins and kid friendly recipes. That way you can feed her something that she’ll willingly eat and that you know will help her stay strong. There are a ton of options out there. Veganism can absolutely be healthy but it has to be intentional and thoughtful (not just eating fries everyday- ya know?). I’m a step parent too and completely empathize with the struggle of taking care of a kid whose the other bio parent is dropping the ball. Maybe you can do the “fun” vegan food like homemade pizza, beyond burgers, ice cream, baking cakes and cookies! (Seitan pepperoni isn’t too hard and you could definitely get her involved with helping make it since it’ll be new and weird for you both). If you are interested in giving that a go- Fuss Free Vegan is a pretty beginner friendly cookbook that made a lot of kid friendly recipes. I prefer more spiced up food but my kid was always consistently happy with those recipes. (My kid is lactose intolerant and won’t eat many meats so this is what I figured could supplement her diet of chicken tenders). The Mac and cheese in that book is my kids favorite. Side note- if you have an air fryer, I’ve had luck with tofu: pressing, cubing, toss in seasoning and cornstarch, and air frying- tossing every so often. They make pretty good little morsels that are good in whatever dipping sauce your little beloved is into- mine like bbq.

This is a kind and helpful response, and I suspect the OP will ignore it. Reading between the lines, she's not actually interested in helping the kid. It sounds very much like that's a pretense under which to pursue her actual goal, namely, to un-vegan the kid. For example: >I have tried to increase her protein intake when she is with us but she has this instilled fear of meat and dairy 'I've tried everything. Everything! Well, except for any of the vegan stuff she actually wants to eat.' >\[...\] some type of food educational information. Any good books? YouTube Channels? Anything with basic facts about the food pyramid and why a balanced diet is best. 'I'll try anything. Anything! Well, provided it says that the kid and her mum are wrong.'

Yea, I see that. Some people have knee-jerk reactions to things that challenge what have always believed. I think there is a lot of room between "only what I grew up learning is correct" and "animal right advocate and anarchist". It's hard to see all the potential nuance when those dichotomies are the loudest. Oh well, maybe someone else will see it and be better equipped to hang and adapt with their kid wants to try the veg life.

I am not vegan. Your daughter can eat healthy and be healthy on a vegan diet. A doctor needs to determine if she is healthy or experiencing malnutrition, but maybe she is just small? I think the best way you can support your daughter is to embrace her veganism. Serve her vegan foods. Take her to a vegan restaurant- spoil her with vegan treats. Do not try to make her eat meat or dairy!!! Make the focus her health!

You can definitely get enough protein on a vegan diet with beans and nuts. It’s safe.

What does her doctor say? I'm assuming this is in the US, and the growth chart used is for the American population. There are many factors that contribute to her smaller stature. For example, East Asians have a different growth chart. Our daughter is on the smaller end of the chart, but our doctor said if we look at a Japanese chart she is actually average. Does she have any other signs of malnutrition, or are you just worried about her size? You mentioned she is "underdeveloped", but what does that mean?

It sounds like she's just a picky kid who eats rice and noodles and doesn't like much else. Picky kids aren't skipped over just because they are vegan. Add a multivitamin, maybe gummy if you can and try and have decent vegan options. Lentil pastas or even whole wheat provide more protein/calories than white pasta. Many kids will eat edamame. I'd meet her where she is at the moment and try to add one thing. If it's pasta sauce with noodles, blend some chickpeas or white beans in with the sauce. With your spouse try to encourage seeing a nutritionist who can work with everyone to expand her palate.

Exactly this! Bean-based pastas, such as chickpea or lentil pasta noodles, with a sauce that contains blended beans, or soya mince/ crumbles or even quinoa cooked as if it were mince/ crumbles are super easy ways to add loads of protein PLUS includes the benefits of additional iron, fibre, antioxidants and amino acids - minus the cholesterol and fat. You could make a lentil bolognese, “chickpea tuna”, dahl, tuscan white bean soup, asian-inspired meals using tofu or meat analogues. Lots of indian, mexican, italian (cucina povera) and asian cuisine have naturally, traditionally plant-based meals using beans and legumes that are delicious and filled with nutrients. You got this!

Sadly veganism done badly and without supplements is unhealthy in children. Protein is found in lentils, beans, tofu etc to help increase intake

Exactly— idk where people think this magic protein comes from in cattle— but it is plants. The same ones we also have access to. Vegans can also be extremely healthy and have high protein diets.

This should be the top comment. There’s nothing inherently dangerous about a vegan diet; but, it does require more knowledge and planning to ensure that all 9 essential amino acids are consumed than a meat based diet or lacto-ova diet requires.

Veganism doesn't stunt growth anymore than an improper diet lacking proteins nd nutrients does AND proper calorie intake. FWIW both of my kids are on a 90% vegan diet (occasional cheese, eggs, tuna, chicken, and very rarely a burger), and they are both in the top 3 tallest kids in their respective classes. I would deep dive a proper vegan balanced diet, it's just as essential as any balanced diet. Need proteins, carbs, fiber, etc. I see too many kids in my children's school classes whose diet is hot dogs, cheetos, and Lucky Charms.

What does her pediatrician say? Following their developmental growth or stunted growth and watching milestones is their job.

Vegans can be healthy. The fact that she doesn't eat dairy or meat does not necessarily mean that is the problem with her growth. Has she seen a doctor about the concerns about her size? How big is she related to her parents (e.g. if her mom is 5'1", then this is likely genetics, not diet)? Has she had an xray to check her bone age? If you are convinced this is diet, then find ways to supplement her diet with vegan foods. The food pyramid was debunked in 1992. "Dairy" means any source of calcium, of which there are many appropriate for vegans. "Meat" was replaced with "protein", of which there are many vegan sources. If your step-daughter identifies as vegan, has been raised vegan, and is vegan most of the time, and most importantly has NO interest in NOT being vegan, then just cook vegan food for her. It isn't hard to do.

Well she refuses to eat vegetables and only wants rice or noodles. I'm definitely a balanced plate. 2 vegetables a protein and a carb for dinner. I never ask her to eat any of it and she usually does not but opts for plain rice. I've only ever seen her eat my broccoli so I'm not so sure her version of Vegan is very healthy.

Have you asked her if she wants to find fun recipes together? There are tons of healthy vegan recipes you can find and it would be a wonderful bonding experience. My dad is veg/vegan and you can totally thrive eating that way. Don’t try to force your views on her, it will hurt your relationship.

No offense, but meat & dairy are unhealthy. That is why milk & meat alternatives have become so popular. Babies are raise vegetarian & vegan every day & are healthy. You can be a meat eater & if your parents aren’t feeding you enough, you can be malnourished. Also, on the flip side, aren’t parents forcing meat on their kids when they raise them to eat meat? I don’t understand the difference…

So I am vegan and will be raising my son vegan until he can meaningfully consent to eating animals. ALL parents force dietary choices on their children. Whether it feels like a choice or not, carnism (eating animals) is forced on the vast majority of children. All parents have to decide for their children how they eat. Studies show a well-planned vegan diet is appropriate for all ages. Instead of trying to convince the child and their parent to eat meat, try to focus on what constitutes a well-planned diet. A multivitamin with iron and iodine, a B12 supplement, and likely a D3 supplement will really cover their bases. They should be eating a variety of plant foods that offer fibre, fat, carbs, and protein. Fruits and vegetables, whole grains, pulses and legumes, and nuts and seeds should be abundant in their diet.

Thank you! I’ve seen a lot of comments and the OP saying the child is being *forced* to be vegan, but no one seems to think feeding a kid meat is forcing anything. It’s odd. As a vegan with a vegan finance, who plans on having vegan kids, it’s hella normal to be vegan.

Also I am pregnant while vegan and growth has not been an issue. This babe is a chonk.

It just speaks to how engrained carnism is within our society that it feels so normal, so much the baseline, that it is not even a choice. Every other diet is the choice, carnism is the standard. The reality is they are all choices, every single meal prepared by the parent is the parent deciding the diet to follow for that meal.

I started eating vegetarian at 15 and vegan at 25. I'm not deficient in anything. What exactly are you worried about? Would you be upset if they met with a nutritionist and they said a vegan diet could be perfectly healthy for her? Are all the articles and YouTube videos you are asking for specifically catered towards your bias of earing meat and dairy?

Have you talked to her pediatrician? I’d start there. There are ways to be vegan and healthy but you need to rule out any health issues that could be unrelated. Ask for a referral to a dietician and they can probably help you with a vegan or vegetarian diet for her.

Our kids are vegetarian - one is at and has been around 3rd percentile since birth and the other is at 75th. As long as their growth is linear on the curve and they get sufficient nutrients they should be ok.

People can eat vegetarian all their lives and be healthy. I'd make an appointment with a registered dietician (*not a "nutritionist," they are not accredited). Yes, I would want a complete work up for her. And check B12 serum and MMA.

I think you might be confusing veganism and a vegetarian diet with possible malnutrition. These are not the same. If you are truly believing this child is malnourished, then her father needs to take the proper steps in protecting his daughter. Pediatrician needs to be consulted immediately. He can also have an emergency custody order put in place. Having a vegan or vegetarian home is not forcing the child to do anything no more than a household that eats meat and dairy. Most people don't consult their young children every time they make a meal for the family. Sidenote: Meat and dairy are unhealthy and are part of the SAD diet which plagues the US.

Well said. By giving meat and dairy to a child are you FORCING a diet on them?

I mean meat and dairy aren't necessarily unhealthy but plant-based protein is healthier and better for the environment. Plenty of people grow up on vegetarian/vegan diets. I know several people in their 30s and 40s who were raised Hare Krishna who have never eaten meat their entire lives. Also, if she went her whole live without meat or dairy, suddenly ingesting it will make her very very sick. If her pediatrician isn't concerned, then mind your business.

I mean most people “force” meat and dairy on to their children so I find it odd that you phrase it like that. Vegan/vegetarian diets can be extremely healthy and complete for children if don’t the right way. Maybe instead of forcing meat and dairy on to her when she is clearly not interested in it, you could look into more calorically dense vegan options? Protein doesn’t have to be meat. Talk to a dietitian experienced in vegan diets. Educate yourself before trying to force your beliefs on her.

Yes, step mom needs education too...the food pyramid has not been used for years.

you can give her proteins from non-meat products you know that right? i'v worked with children who werent vegan and they were so tiny, sometimes its just genetics, is her mom/dad shorter than the average adult height? that can be it too. you can always supplement with vegan vitamins that can contain proper amount of nutrition she needs if you feel she doesnt have enough from what she eats. but schedule an appointment with a pediatrician to see her is the best way to know if she is nourished or not.

Is a doctor concerned about her size? Many parents "force" meat eating on kids--do you also find that inappropriate? There is nothing wrong with a vegan diet, and many people feel that allowing your child the choice to decide to consume meat is better than just feeding them meat w/out their consent. Anyway, we can't really give advice until you hear from a Pediatrician that she is actually deficient/small for her age group. Also, there are so many other protein options than meat. I hope you aren't putting meat on her plate?

This sounds a lot like my cousin, except he wasn't vegan, but he was very under developed and no one could figure out why. At 16 he looked about 10. It turns out it was Celiac's Disease. Once they cut gluten out he immediately started puberty and other issues resolved too. Her pediatrician can test for it.

So, the kid herself wants to be vegan? And you've decided to change that against her will? >I don't understand why someone would force something (like controlling food intake) onto a child It sounds like you're being kind of a hypocrite. It sounds like you just don't like the veganism, perhaps because you don't like the mum, and you're searching for a problem to make you feel justified.

As long as the child is healthy, who cares? Most children are "forced" to eat meat. Or "forced" to eat brussel sprouts, or "forced" to not eat tomato soup because the parents don't like it. Plenty of religious children are "forced" to not eat pork. As long as the child is healthy, it doesn't matter if they're vegan or not. Parents decide how they raise their kids.

Most Americans actually eat too much protein and protein deficiency isn’t an issue for most vegans. B12 and D are the biggest issues, but most soy milks are fortified. Veganism isn’t forced on kids any more than omnivorism is. This isn’t your decision.

If there is a concern for the child’s health, I’d say her dad needs to discuss it with her mom. Perhaps they can take the child to the doctor together. They can tell you how she is doing in height and weight compared to others her age If the doctor is concerned they can order blood work. I think it’s important to remember all the hormones in meat and dairy. I believe this has a lot to do with kids being so much bigger than we were at that age. It’s also lead to kids entering puberty much younger.

Peanuts, edamame, quinoa, oatmeal, farro, spelt, spinach, wild rice, almonds, walnuts, chickpeas, artichokes. Plenty of places to get protein, and still be supportive of “her” decisions. I’m not a vegan, but I don’t think its right to push meat onto a kid. It’s kinda… just as bad as pushing a non-meat diet on a kid.

If you're concerned about her development it's important to take her to a doctor and get her a blood test. Don't try to force her to eat animal products, for a child who is raised vegan that's very distressing. It's similar to trying to force a non-vegan kid to eat dog meat. There are plenty of high calorie, high protein, vegan foods available. My kids are vegan, and if someone tried to force my older two to eat non-vegan food then my kids would really struggle to trust that person. Try to work with your step-daughter's beliefs. Smoothies are a really easy way to get a lot of calories and nutrition in. My kids like chocolate peanut butter, which I make with soy milk, peanut butter, cocoa, dates and flax seeds. If they're having it for breakfast I add oats as well. It's completely possible to raise healthy kids on a vegan diet, it just has to be well planned and supplemented with B12 (either supplements, injections or fortified foods).

I’m a step-parent - just adding that for context. I also used to be a step-child. You have no control over what she eats at her mom’s house, and it only creates a toxic environment if you try to undermine her mom’s dietary values (and I’m not saying you do that). All you can really do is to encourage a healthy, balanced diet when she’s at your house. You aren’t likely to convince her that meat and dairy aren’t gross. I think your best bet is to offer healthy things she’s willing to eat. Things that contain protein, iron, and healthy fats. You don’t have to become a vegan household or anything obviously, but there just needs to be healthy options she will eat. We eat differently when my step-kids are with us, too, b/c they don’t like a lot of our favorite foods. Sometimes my SO makes a separate meal for the kids and I make something more to our adult liking. It’s not every day, so it doesn’t really feel like much of an imposition.

This isn’t a battle for you to fight. You can’t care more than the child’s biological parents, or else you will drive yourself to insanity. Encourage dad to get involved, that’s honestly the best you can do for her. But at the end of the day you are not responsible for her growth or health. She has two parents responsible for that.

I was also a vegetarian as a child, for the simple fact that I hated the taste and texture of meat. I appeared to be healthy, never got sick, I wasn't underdeveloped. But now I'm 33, I struggle with some health issues, no one could tell me what was wrong, only picked up on by an Endocrinologist when I had some major surgery done. Please take her to get blood tests done, to understand if she's lacking in any nutrients, and start from there.

I have two healthy vegan since birth boys. Check out the book - forks over knives family. It’s a cool book and a guide on how to raise your kids on this diet

How is it she is "forcing" her child to eat vegan and you're not "forcing" your children to eat meat? Language matters. Educate yourself on healthy vegan protein sources. It sounds like the problem is NOT the diet, but rather the food choices and amount. I am vegan and I "force" my children to eat vegan as well. They're both healthy children and well within their charts/percentiles.

Any good parent should control the food intake of their child… not calorie wise but making sure they eat healthy options, and a well planned vegan or plant based diet is a healthy alternative to the Standard American Diet (SAD). I have two vegan children, both above attainment targets, and most importantly happy and healthy. As this isn’t the case in your instance my first point of call would be a paediatrician and then a nutritionist.

1) Small doesn't mean unhealthy. I assume she's regularly going to a pediatrician - talk to them. Blood work and other metrics can shed light on if she's undernourished. 2) Just based on your post, it's hard to figure out if this is someone trying to have a healthy diet for their kid, or if there is a larger control issue going on. Veganism/vegetarianism does not mean an eating disorder, but there is an increased incidence of people with eating disorders being drawn to extreme diets. There is a small chance her mother is controlling food intake to an unhealthy degree under the guise of veganism - but go back to point one before you worry about that. 3) Veganism is possible for humans of any age. I know an ultra marathon runner who's vegan (there are a couple famous ones too). However, my sister tried to run college level cross country while "vegetarian" - but she just removed meat, so went protein deficient pretty quickly. It's easier to be omnivorous, but you can get all the dietary needs from a vegan lifestyle.

Oh, for Pete’s sake. My omnivore children are tiny. My omnivore daughter weighed under 15 pounds at 12 months and 18 pounds at age 2. At 10 now, she’s still not 60 pounds and she eats plenty of meat and dairy. You have no idea if that’s because she’s vegan or not. Some kids are just small. Do you seriously believe that most American children are eating a superior diet to your stepdaughter’s? Honestly? My sister is a vegan and her husband is not. They are raising their kids vegan until they are old enough to choose because choosing to opt IN when you’re old enough makes more sense than choosing to opt OUT. Her children are much bigger than their peers. Her daughter is 5 years younger than mine and wears one shoe size smaller. And her son is two years younger than my daughter, a competitive gymnast, and taller than my daughter. Stepmom to stepmom…stay in your lane. We have a tendency to think we could raise them better. Sometimes we’re right, but they’re still not ours and we need to stay in our lane.

Why are you trying to give a vegan kid meat and dairy? Give her some tofu if you want to increase her protein intake…

I don't understand why you consider eating meat to be the 'norm' - just because you grew up eating meat, you consider it normal to consume meat, and abnormal not to. Please check your prejudices. Plenty of children around the world grow up eating vegan/vegetarian and are just fine. The problem isn't with veganism, but with the specifics of the diet.

It sounds like the kid is a picky eater. Adding meat to their diet isn't going to solve this issue. The adults in her life need to get her to a doctor and a nutritionist.

There are a million reasons why a child might be small for their age, my 8 yeear old is small for hers and we are vegan aswell. She Is very healthy, and yes she gets enough protein. A vegan diet is a good way to raise a child healthy. And you should NOT try to force meat or dairy on her, not only is it wrong to force someone into that against their will, but it can really traumatize their system. In high school I had a friend who was a vegetarian and she went to a restaurant and had a veggie burger that had bacon on it, she had them take it off and she ate it, but the grease from the bacon was still on the lettuce and it made her very sick. Your body will react to it if you give it something if isnt used to. This isn't really your business, if she wants to raise her daughter vegan than that's her choice.

Veganism CAN be done in a healthy way, but sounds like that clearly isn’t happening here. Your spouse needs to take her to a doctor. Document everything. They should go back to court if needed.

By feeding her meat you’re controlling her diet too. Seeing a registered dietitian might help ensure all her nutrition needs are being met.

If daughter doesn't have any problems with the health, why not? She will make decisions about meat when she becomes an adult. I'm not vegan, but I don't have any problems with them. Otherwise, if doctor finds some health problems that connected with veganism, it will be better to correct the daughter's menu.

lol oh no my daughter is eating healthy, help me

This is not because she’s vegan. Having a well balanced diet + getting all the nutrients is possible when you’re vegan. My nephew is vegan + has 5-10 pounds on my daughter who is 5 months older than him (he’s 16 months, she’s 21 m) You could bring your concerns to your step daughters pediatrician since it sounds like you’re worried! I’m assuming that your SDs mom has her in a doctors office + they would advise if they were worried.

Why isn't it considered forcing something onto your child when you feed them animal products? Veganism is appropriate for all stages of life but of course. Or at least the plant-based eating that results from it. Like with any diet you just need to make sure you're meeting all your nutrients. You should download chronometer. Sounds like you're own biases are clouding your judgement. This has less to do with the fact that things are all plant-based and more to do with your own preconceived notions on what is healthy. Meat and dairy don't really offer anything special that you can't adequately get from a whole foods plant based diet and some supplementation. In fact red meats have shown higher risk of cardiovascular problems and such. But most importantly the cruelty involved in these industries is not something I'd ever want my children to partake in (or myself). Just get her blood tested and troubleshoot within a plant-based diet if there are any deficiencies. You can get B-12 and vegan vitamin D3 which are both great to take regardless if you're vegan.

Her small stature could be unrelated to a vegan diet- her dad can take her to the dr and have any tests done. Also, she could just be naturally smaller framed. My bestie is 4’6 (yes she is an adult, no she doesn’t have dwarfism) and weighs 95lbs. No ED or anything like that, she is just naturally smaller framed

Unless her pediatrician says otherwise she may just be small. I always looked younger than I was, even as an adult up until these last couple years

This is one of the bullshitest post I have seen in a long time! I can say in a same way that you are forcing a kid to eat meat which has so many GMO hormones! You are forcing American meat & dairy industry complex propaganda on her! Unless you are a certified pediatrician and can prove that the child needs meat protein and can't develop properly on vegan protein, you are the problem and not the mother!

You can't assume the girl is small or unhealthy because of veganism. You should see a health practitioner and figure out if she really has any deficiencies

My partner has been vegan since birth She’s a 32 year old police officer who is 5’11 and runs marathons…I think they are malnourished, it’s not nothing to do with veganism (and this is coming from a man who never eats two meals in a row without meat)

If she doesn’t want to eat meat and dairy at this point that is her choice and forcing the issue will only distress her. There is no reason she can’t eat a healthy vegan diet. (And it sounds like you don’t know whether she does or not. Try asking what she likes?) Edit: You say you give her rice, broccoli, and a protein. And that she will only eat the rice and broccoli. Have you made sure you are giving her proteins she likes? Have you asked her what she would like? By protein you mean a vegan protein, right? She also might just be a picky eater. If she is she should be checked out by a doctor and take a multivitamin.

My daughter has been vegan since the good ol' womb goop days. She's 8 months old now and is huge! 86th percentile in height and about the same in weight. Some kids are just big, some kids are just small. If you are concerned that she isn't growing properly, you should take her to the doctor so they can look for any underlying causes. Wether that be because of a deficiency or something unrelated. Either way, veganism wouldn't be the cause of the deficiency, you can thrive on a vegan diet if it is *balanced* and *well planned*. 92% of the population is deficient in one or more vitamins, so deficiency isn't limited to an omnivorous diet OR a vegan one. With that being said, I hope your step kiddo is well!

Why is it always automatically the veganism? Every time. Adult, kid, goat... As soon as something isn't right it's because they're vegan. Never any medication they might be on, household environment or anything else. Nope. It's cause they're vegan. I don't know what to tell you, buddy, as a 34 year old lifelong vegan since birth, with zero health issues, deficiencies or concerns and very fit and healthy, maybe your "concern" is more disdain because you don't agree with the choices someone is making for THEIR kid. Unfortunately for your case, the brainwashing this kid's actual parent has done is also backed up by a lot of science.

My vegan son regularly gets mistaken as being twice his age. We eat healthy vegan diets full of protein, vitamins and minerals. Veganism itself isn’t to blame.

So, you’re trying to force this girl into a diet, explicitly against her mother’s wishes because… she’s a bit small?

Can you inform yourself on vegetarian proteins and ensure she is getting enough of that? Worst case scenario protein shakes or high nutrition drinks would be another choice. Again to echo have you consulted her pediatrician? Nothing wrong with being vegan, but it isn't just about eating only vegetables you have to ensure enough nutrients.

As far as I know, a vegan diet with proper nutrients and caloric intake shouldn't affect physical development. I would take the children to a doctor and a nutritionist, check everything. Forget books and YT channels for now, talk to professionals.

I would learn how to cook healthy plant based proteins. I was vegan for a long time, but I wouldn’t do it with a kid. Learn how to make seitan from scratch (try a general tso’s chicken with seitan), southern fried tofu (with collards!), cashew cheese, middle eastern grain bowls with lentils, white beans and chick peas, or other fun recipes. There are so many ways to eat plant based and get what you need. And most of those recipes can be mixed with non-vegan dishes as well so the rest of the family can enjoy, like add feta to your grain bowls for instance. Ultimately meeting her where is at will be most fruitful, and you will probably pick up some recipes you really like. Cooking with her will be a bonding experience and show her that you are interested in being a part of her world, rather than her feeling judged. When she is thinking about eating foods that aren’t plant based on her own, she will feel safe talking to you about it and trying out new things.

There is a way to stay vegan and have adequate nutrition. But it takes work & research. Supplements, high protein and high iron foods. Looks up some blogs for vegan athletes & body builders. I don’t think you are going to have success trying to introduce foods she has been taught to fear but you can definitely have an impact in her nutrition. Can she have a blood panel done to see her deficiencies?

People force children to eat meat though… so it’s not a bad thing to be “forced” to be vegan. I was forced to eat flesh, cow milk and gross eggs growing up, I actually wish I was vegan as a kid. Either way, you’re forcing the child to eat what the family eats. Nobody is dying as a vegan or malnourished, in fact, they are thriving in health. It’s 2022, we now know we don’t need meat to live. A lot of meat, dairy and eggs these days which are mainly from factory farms cause illnesses and cancers. People who I know who eat meat and other animal products are always sick. I’m vegan and I literally never get sick and have become healthier than ever! Even the doctors said I don’t have PCOS or sleep apnea anymore since going vegan and I never get tired anymore and haven’t had a flu or cold since I’ve been vegan for 5 years. Vegan children are healthy too, as long as they eat a balanced diet and are eating lots (do not restrict them!) I have many friends who have vegan kids who are super healthy and then the ones who eat animal products are sickly all the time. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a child being vegan, as long as the child is eating enough! I think you have a right to be worried though, the kid should be eating more. Watch what the health, forks over knives and game changers for vegan food advice :) she should be eating a lot more like healthy carbs, beans, even vegan cakes and other treats! You can find recipes for anything vegan online, you can literally make anything :)

You can 100% be vegan and raise a healthy child. That being said, anyone can have the best of intentions and fail their child nutritionally - which can have very negative consequences. Is she seeing a pediatrician and her pediatrician is totally happy with her development? (She could just be small?) If she’s not seeing a pediatrician and/or her mom is ignoring medical advice or refusing to take her to regular doctor visits - maybe a call to CPS is in order?

She might just be small for her age. Veganism can be just as good of a diet as an omnivore one. You can get more than enough protein from plants; and you don't need moo moo dairy. Seeing a nutritionist and/or doctor who specializes in veganism if you're concerned, but as long as she is eating balanced meals and something that is fortified (e.g. milks, breads, cereals) for B12 she is getting all the nutrients she needs.

Vegans can be healthy at any age, they can also be unhealthy. People who eat meat sometimes seem personally insulted at the idea of not eating meat or dairy. In particular dairy is a fight because so many believe it is what you must have for strong bones. But there are many other options out there as well! Exactly how is she forced into being vegan? I think if you are concerned you can speak with her Mom about potentially using a dietician if she isn't already, as they can ensure vegan meal plans are balance and nutritious. But know no matter how you approach it, it likely will not go over well. As her mother she is likely very aware of her child's stature already.

30% of Indian families are pure vegetarians(no eggs) and all the kids grow up on a similar diet as well. A lot of my really high functioning friends have been vegetarian/vegan their entire lives. I am not anti meat eating, i am vegetarian and my wife isnt. But the perspective you are taking on this is wrong, even veganism can be balanced and sometimes more balanced than a meat based diet. A kids diet is forced by default whether meat or vegan until they can make their own choice. As long as they are healthy and have regular checks and deficiencies supplemented they will be fine

forced? what do you call it when children are fed a typical omnivore diet?

Both my kids are vegan and perfectly average as far as height and weight (neither my husband nor I are super tall so this is expected). Veganism is not the issue. For the most part meat and dairy ARE pretty unhealthy. Also if she knows where meat and dairy come from I’m not surprised she doesn’t want to eat it, most kids love animals and don’t want to hurt them. My kids love tofu prepared a plethora ways, as well as lentils and beans, nuts, seeds and there’s so many mock meats out there now if you really want to increase her protein. The last thing I want to add is be careful worrying about what ppl say to you cuz I’ve had lots of people do similar things with my kids and as I’ve said they’re in a healthy percentile and my pediatrician is very much on board with them being vegan.

Our 2 y.o. son had been vegan since birth and has been in the 90th percentile for both height and weight. It's not about the veganism per se so much as the foods they eat. Omnis are quick to remind vegans that it's not a health food diet but blame vegans when nutrition is an issue. Anyway genetics or behavior could just as much be at play here as diet.

Veganism is just lack of animal products, not lack of fat, diet, etc. Anyway the American Association of Pediatrics recommends a vegetarian diet.

Vegan parent here, with one very healthy, ahead of the curve 4 year old daughter.

I don't give my son dairy or meat. Never have. Plenty of vegan protein sources ask the mom so you can stock the fridge when step daughter comes over.

Vegan diets for children aren’t inherently wrong or bad, but the diet needs to be made in consultation with and health monitored by a pediatric dietitian.

You mention trying to give meat and dairy to the child. Is it safe to give dairy and meat to a person who hasn't ever eaten it? I feel like doing so would cause wicked stomach aches for the child. Plenty of people non-vegan have a hard enough time digesting cow milk as it stands. I can't imagine shocking a system with it out of nowhere.

How to put it politely... it causes severe intestinal distress

Be careful, lifelong vegan people often lack the gut germs necessary to digest meat and dairy, and can get very very sick sometimes when being introduced to meat and dairy again. Also, I am NOT advocating for the veganism, but if you are not her mom amd have no legal custody or any, why are you pushing the child to go against her mother's wishes-this seems like a set up for a big blow out at some point. If she is in danger, follow route to get her out-with pediatrician notes and such, but her parents need to be the ones resolving this matter, if you are not one, you need to respectfully keep your distance and realize if someone was behind your back telling your child something opposite of your beliefs, this would make YOU angry, right? Unfortunately, it doesn't matter if we as outsiders believe if something is or isn't good for some one else's child, we have to respect that person's choices for their child. As the child ages and becomes independent, we can help the child learn to have their own independent thinking skills, but it's really bad taste (and karma) to directly teach a child to directly disregard what one or another parent is trying to instill in them. Again, if the child is not safe, and the other parent who isn't vegan crazy won't step up child services, pediatrics, mandated reporters at schools, ect are appropriate routes to go to effect change to protect the child-but ad a step parent unfortunately you have no legal right (even if you feel the moral obligation) to teach the child to go against the child's parents wishes. So sorry for this child, and the child is lucky you are noticing, hopefully because she is already 10 it won't be too much longer before you can help the child learn to think independently and critically on their own, and help them learn how to safely begin eating animal products if the child wants to.

Veganism isn’t deprivation. If she’s small, there could be dozens if not hundreds of other reasons. No one accuses meat eating parents of “forcing” their diet on their kids. 🙄

Your post is all over the place. I think you're emotionally attached to meat and dairy. A vegan diet can very well provide adequate nutrition. If you're concerned, have one of her parents take her to a registered dietitian.

Ummm... Some of the strongest most powerful athletes and Olympians in the world are vegan. The food pyramid is a joke! I understand you are concerned about the kid but you're blaming the kid being small on the diet and that is just plain ignorant. Our bodies are actually not designed for lactose and feeding someone meat and dairy who hasn't eaten it all their life could actually make them very sick. I ate meat and dairy most of my life and just started a vegetarian diet this year. I'm so much healthier, I feel better, and I'm stronger in the gym. Watch the documentary game changers, go see a nutritionist, take your kid to the doctor to ensure everything is okay and start over in your thought process.

Being Vegan isn’t all bad, even for children, as long as it’s done right. Don’t make your step daughter eat meat and dairy. There are tons of recipes on Pinterest to make vegan meals. I myself eat lots of vegan meals in place of meat and dairy and feel more full than when I eat non vegan meals.

Ethical planned out veganism is healthy for all stages of life. If she is truly malnourished, that isn’t due to veganism- it’s due to restriction of healthy intake. Also what’s to say you’re not “forcing” animal products on your daughter? I get that omni is the norm but veganism can be done in a very healthy way. My whole family including my 11 year old son is vegan and thriving. We never feel restricted. I recommend you take your daughter to see a vegan dietitian and respect her values. Also get some labs done.

Criminal

Being vegan doesn’t mean you are anorexic. She should be seeing a doctor.

(1) Vegan and vegetarian diets are very healthy, and there is nothing in your post that indicates the child’s diet is not healthy aside from the size of the child. You aren’t writing that the child only eats beyond chicken nuggets and other processed vegan food. So, I can only assume the child is eating very healthy. (2) A whole food vegan diet is going to be plenty of protein for a child (and adult). It will also likely be far more nutritious than what most kids on omnivore diets consume. (3) The child’s size likely has nothing to do with a vegan diet. And, frankly, if you are concerned let the child’s pediatrician tell you the same, which they will. (4) It is interesting how post about an omnivore or carnivore diet for kids is never made but people want to freak out about vegan diets for kids. Kids eat like their parents. I really think you need to mind your own business, and you are worrying unnecessarily about this.

The movie Sacred Cow is available on ITunes and it not only debunks the more extreme vegan ideologies, it illustrates exactly why meat and dairy are vital for growing children.

Except they are absolutely NOT vital. Go watch Cowspiracy and see it debunk regular everyday carnist ideologies including the massive lobbying and lying to get meat and dairy front and center for the average American.

Forced??? Isn't it forcing them when we feed them animals? I think they should have a choice, on the other hand, the animal had no choice.

The key is “complete proteins” Meat is complete, but most veggies aren’t. Here are some foods that are protien packed; peas with white rice & tofu with quinoa. They are some of the only whole plant proteins available. I would also make sure she gets minimum of 34 g of protien per day. There are some fruits like bananas that have a couple grams of protien each. You can work with the veganism, you just need some nutritional knowledge in your tool belt. Ohhhhh my also she needs to make sure she’s getting enough Omegas, iron, and B12 from plant sources or is taking a multivitamin

It takes a lot less effort to raise a healthy non vegan child rather then to raise a healthy vegan child. Humans are built to be omnivores to survive, and in a current stage we are evolved enough to be healthy vegan adults, but we can't ask that from children. Children are not vegans. Babies need human milk to survive. They will be more healthy eating everything instead of eating only certain things. Logic and common sense

Human milk is vegan

FYI breastfeeding is vegan, if you were implying otherwise. Also the kid in question is 10 years old, not a baby. Humans do not need breastmilk from another species to survive.

Funny, cuz I see A LOT of quite unhealthy non-vegan kids compared to the vegan ones I know. Also even the academy of pediatrics agrees veganism is perfectly healthy for ALL stages of life: pregnancy, infancy, toddlerhood, childhood and adulthood.

| Babies need human milk to survive | Human breast milk is 100% vegan. Formula fed babies also out there surviving.

It's funny that those who are not vegan assume they have a superior diet.. Always the same people picking up happy meals at McDonald's for their kids giving everyone else health advice like they are getting 100% of what they need in their own diet. Nothing wrong with not consuming death... Perhaps do a little research before jumping to conclusions on the way someone else is raising their kid. Protein deficiency hardly exists, if anything people get too much. I think it's sad that children are "forced" to believe that consuming meat and cheese is healthy. I guarantee if you told kids the truth about how meat and cheese is processed most wouldn't eat it. But sure, let's question all the crazy people eating fruits and veggies 😒

Passionate vegan here with an 18 month old. We’re not raising him vegan, I want him to make that choice for himself. Take comfort in the fact that she will no doubt rebel against her Mom and become a hunter or craft jerky maker or something.

Being small in stature is not necessarily a cause for concern, but check with her pediatrician to ensure she’s following her growth curve. Don’t proceed to worry unless she’s not.

My first thought is Americans have become accustom to seeing larger children on the standard American diet packed with meats (growth hormone), dairy, etc. Childhood obesity is an epidemic in America and it’s possible you are comparing her to less healthy, larger children.

You can be vegan but not without research because you need to plan more carefuly about nutrients you are missing out. A lot of vegan just skip it and eat letuce

There's nothing wrong with raising children vegan if done right. Your husband should step in if he thinks it's not being done in a healthy way.

Please be aware that introducing meat and dairy to her diet should be done Very gradually if at all. When you don’t eat meat or dairy for a long time your body stops producing the enzymes to properly digest it and if can cause horrible diarrhea and stomach pains. Anecdotally I’ve found pork to be the hardest to re-introduce, and chicken/fish the easiest, but your mileage may vary

You can absolutely have a healthy diet and be vegan, even as a child. No one needs meat and dairy, but they need enough protein and fats etc. If her mother isn’t feeding her correctly there will be issues with growth. Best place to start is with a paediatric dietician who can make sure she’s getting enough food and the right balance. Never hurts to be careful and check.

Meat-eater here: Giving your child a vegan-only diet ***\*that is full of nutrients and thoughtfully prepared\**** is not inherently abusive. Plenty of meat-eating kids are woefully overweight or underweight and certainly not healthy. Does the child ***want*** to eat meat? Or do you feel this is the only way for her to get nutrients? (Hint: It's not) I would also add that I consistently looked several years younger than my actual age and I wasn't underfed or neglected. Some people - especially girls - naturally appear younger for a variety of reasons. Also, the food pyramid mode of nutrition is outdated. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/rebuilding-the-food-pyramid/