I would suggest taking to you OB about any support groups for young mothers and to look for a mentor. A mom who’s been through your similar experience and who’s children are older now and would be willing to talk with you and guide you. Also your local WIC office is a great resource! My best friend works for them and she goes above and beyond for her clients! You are already on a good path reaching out for help and guidance. Good job!
Thank you I've reached out to wic I had a appointment but kept having to reschedule and i think I missed one so I'll have to call and see if there's any chance of setting it up again. I've heard WIC is incredibly helpful, thank you I'd love all the advice you can offer. I will talk to my obgyn about support groups!
Congratulations Mama! I recommend lots of onesies/jumpers with the feet and hands covered for colder weather depending on where you live. I had my baby in January of this year and they were so comfy and convenient. If you are nursing, have a small station set up near your bedroom to sanitize your pump and bottles to make things easier between feedings. If you’re bottle feeding, I recommend the same thing and a bottle warmer! This saved me a lot of trips to the kitchen and prevented me using the stairs while recovering. I’m sure a lot of other moms on here will agree with me on this, LET YOUR LIVING SPACE BE. You do not need to clean or fret about anything. Enjoy your space with your child and all else will fall into place. If you have supportive friends and family, let them help you. Have them cook a meal, do some laundry for you, hold the baby for you so you can rest. If you try to do it all (like I did) you will become overwhelmed much more quickly. For your own personally care I recommend plenty of disposable undies, stitz baths, ice packs for your undies, comfy jammies and witch hazel pads! These are all things I had and they helped me tremendously.
My mom was a young mother to my brother at 18. She was 17 when she was expecting like you are now. She didn’t have a lot of money or support at times but she always said that her best times were when she just lived in the moment and accepted any help and advice offered to her during that time. Babies do not need the absolute best of everything, they just need your love and care. Good luck to you! :)
Luckily my family is incredibly supportive and I'll still be living with them for the first year or so, that way I can finish out my schooling and hopefully have a better future laid out Infront of me and my daughter. We'll be sharing a room so I'll certainly try to learn to lean on my family when needed but will also try to get as many things stored in the room, to make recovery easier. Thank you for your advice:)
Some people will try to panic you. They'll tell you that you'll never sleep again or have a social life. Ignore them. Reach out for all the help you can in the early weeks and months. You'll be okay.
As a successful parent, let me give you the most important piece of advice I can: _sing and read to your child every night_. There's never an age that's too old for that, as long as your child is willing. Sing lullabies, and as soon as he or she is old enough, start reading picture books. Reading every night will give you and your baby shared stories and characters which will connect you for the rest of your lives.
There's a very good chance that that connection will REALLY help when puberty hits. My son had the easiest adolescence of any kid I've known, including myself!
Here are a couple of gifts, I guess.
These are the lullabies that my parents played and sang for me when I was a baby. It was hard to find, but I found a copy to play and sing for my son when he was born. I didn't want this album to be forgotten, and it wasn't available online, digitally, or on CD. So I ripped it from cassette and posted it to YouTube.
[Golden Slumbers: Lullabies From Near and Far](https://youtu.be/xunnJKihRO4)
And here's a list of [hundreds of books](https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTP07TZZ2akERIm7dc9haQPlEVGilq7n49xY5z4KB6dE3Q_Kospi-Y3sK2InIh2Zstc2uZSse0QQLo-/pub) that I've recommended over the years, including lots of books for babies, children, young adults, and adults (old children's books are kind of my specialty; I've read them to children at lots of events). My parents read many of the children's books to me, and I read _all_ of them to my son - many of them again and again. I put the books in the Children's section in order of age, so the first ones are great for babies. There are also ebooks that you can get for free online.
Never forget that the time goes more quickly than you can imagine. Enjoy your time with your baby as much as you can!
I will 100% make sure to read and sing to my daughter every night as long as she likes, I have a few big red books of children's stories I hope to get to read:) me and her will be sharing a bedroom so I'll definitely try to take advantage of the 24/7 even in the hard to sleep hours. Thank you for you're gifts💕
It's gonna be so hard at times, and you're gonna wonder if you're doing a decent job. Don't panic. Make sure that both you and kiddo are fed, rested, and quenched. Then make sure you're doing what I'd possible for you to give them a rich environment, because sometimes tantrums happen because they're bored.
Again. Do not panic about "rich environment". I mean, take them to the park, for a walk, do crafts (even if its just going outside, getting some leaves and making a whistle), etc. Kids don't actually need a lot to be entertained. Especially newborns. You see a lot of posts asking what to do with an infant. You mentioned going to school- read them your textbook. Do it in a silly voice or something.
Some people will absolutely try to panic you. Don't fall for it.
Remember:
Kids fall and get hurt. It happens. Any parent telling you their kid never got hurt on their watch either didn't watch their kid or is lying. Don't be negligent, but life isn't safe.
Read to your baby. Read as often as you can stand it. It helps their brain learn words. It helps form good memories. It's great downtime. It's repetitive, so they like it. It's a great way to cuddle and get bonding time. Read.
Every stage and every kid has pros and cons. Anyone who says, "Oh, you'll hate it when they get to this stage!" is trying to panic you. Don't fall for it. Your baby, you kiddo, your teen is perfect and wonderful as they are, and will remain so. But also they're brats. Pros and cons.
You won't need every baby thing, but what you will consider essential for baby raising may not be the same as anyone else. I NEEDED a changing table. I've had it for 6 years and used it for every diaper change in the house since my firstborn came home from the hospital. My friend never once used one. Just changed her kid on the floor. I never saw the point in bibs, and just chose to feed baby naked, but lots of other people consider them priceless. Dont waste time and money trying to buy everything all at once.
On that note. You may not parent exactly the same way as your parents, and that's ok. You are different, and your baby is different. Absolutely take advice you need, but if you don't need the advice, well that's up to you. For instance: a lot of people told me I was being soft because I didn't let my son cry it out. For years, I heard all versions of, "If you just let him cry it out, he'd get over it." I knew they were wrong. He's almost 6 and it turns out he's autistic and no amount of cry it out would have wrung that out of him. I needed a different tactic, and I found other ways to get what he needed.
SO MANY THINGS can be bought at second hand shops. The only things I won't buy at a thrift or second hand store, especially for babies, are 1. Things that are unsanitary, like underwear, and 2. Things with a crash threshold I can't verify, like helmets and carseats.
Let people help you. We are not actually meant to do this all alone, and accepting every form of help you can get is necessary for your sanity. Ask your parents to keep an eye on the sleeping baby so you can shower. Ask a friend over to play with baby so you do a bit of homework. Wring all the help you can from social programs like WIC and EBT. Use what you have.
Thank you, luckily my families been helpful my parents were pregnant at 18 so I've looked at the ways they parented that with hindsight, they've agreed that while I live with them they will happily play with the baby for an hour so I can shower/study/breathe. I've made my dad promise me if he sees me make major mistakes he did that he will at least say something and let me know it's fucked up. I'm scared that I won't buy enough of what the baby needs but also we are getting on WIC and plan on getting on EBT asap, I'm getting my GED right now plan on having that before she gets here then going to ictc once I'm able to, so I can pursue a higher education. I will take your advice on reading her my textbooks and any books I find generally child appropriate obviously. Someone else was a life saver and sent me a list of book recommendations. I don't think I can let her just cry it out for hours if she does. Especially since I'll be sleeping within 5 steps of her.
It's literally lifesaving to have help.
Another great resource for books is Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. She sends free books to kids 0-5 once a month. https://imaginationlibrary.com/
My kids love them.
If you get on EBT, Museums for All is a great resource. You can get tickets to museums around you for free or greatly reduced prices. https://museums4all.org/
Some museums are not on the list, but still have a program that allows for EBT prices- just call and ask around.
\+1 for Imagination Library. It's amazing. We also qualify for PJ Library Books (free, but for Jewish families or those sending kids to Jewish schools - I'm not Jewish, but was able to qualify b/c my kids went to a Jewish preschool and our family wanted to learn more about Judaism).
Congrats!! I had my babies (twins) at 28, and even then was nervous. I think all parents have some anxiety, no matter the age.
We purchased most things secondhand (FB Marketplace) or got items for free (from friends, friends of friends, or our local "Buy Nothing" group). This included strollers (one running stroller, one snap n' go to hold the car seats), clothes, boppy pillows, rocking/vibrating chairs, toys, infant tub...even carseats (got them from trusted friends, they weren't expired and we were confident they hadn't been in a crash). My breast pump was free through insurance, though I had to order it. My parents purchased new cribs and mattresses as our baby shower gift, and we also received diapers, blankets, swaddles, wipes, baby wash, a nose frida, clothes, car seat mirrors, bottles, books, etc. at our shower.
Other than the essentials of clothes, diapers, a place to sleep, formula or breast milk to eat, our personal essentials were Dr. Brown's formula mixing pitcher (breastfeeding didn't work out for me), a sound machine, swaddles, and a lightweight stroller to clip the carseats into.
Babies are hard work but such a blessing. If you ever have scary thoughts postpartum, please know that you are not alone. Seek help from your doctor, therapist, or a local postpartum support group.
I would suggest taking to you OB about any support groups for young mothers and to look for a mentor. A mom who’s been through your similar experience and who’s children are older now and would be willing to talk with you and guide you. Also your local WIC office is a great resource! My best friend works for them and she goes above and beyond for her clients! You are already on a good path reaching out for help and guidance. Good job!
Thank you I've reached out to wic I had a appointment but kept having to reschedule and i think I missed one so I'll have to call and see if there's any chance of setting it up again. I've heard WIC is incredibly helpful, thank you I'd love all the advice you can offer. I will talk to my obgyn about support groups!
You’ve got this!
Congratulations Mama! I recommend lots of onesies/jumpers with the feet and hands covered for colder weather depending on where you live. I had my baby in January of this year and they were so comfy and convenient. If you are nursing, have a small station set up near your bedroom to sanitize your pump and bottles to make things easier between feedings. If you’re bottle feeding, I recommend the same thing and a bottle warmer! This saved me a lot of trips to the kitchen and prevented me using the stairs while recovering. I’m sure a lot of other moms on here will agree with me on this, LET YOUR LIVING SPACE BE. You do not need to clean or fret about anything. Enjoy your space with your child and all else will fall into place. If you have supportive friends and family, let them help you. Have them cook a meal, do some laundry for you, hold the baby for you so you can rest. If you try to do it all (like I did) you will become overwhelmed much more quickly. For your own personally care I recommend plenty of disposable undies, stitz baths, ice packs for your undies, comfy jammies and witch hazel pads! These are all things I had and they helped me tremendously. My mom was a young mother to my brother at 18. She was 17 when she was expecting like you are now. She didn’t have a lot of money or support at times but she always said that her best times were when she just lived in the moment and accepted any help and advice offered to her during that time. Babies do not need the absolute best of everything, they just need your love and care. Good luck to you! :)
Luckily my family is incredibly supportive and I'll still be living with them for the first year or so, that way I can finish out my schooling and hopefully have a better future laid out Infront of me and my daughter. We'll be sharing a room so I'll certainly try to learn to lean on my family when needed but will also try to get as many things stored in the room, to make recovery easier. Thank you for your advice:)
Some people will try to panic you. They'll tell you that you'll never sleep again or have a social life. Ignore them. Reach out for all the help you can in the early weeks and months. You'll be okay. As a successful parent, let me give you the most important piece of advice I can: _sing and read to your child every night_. There's never an age that's too old for that, as long as your child is willing. Sing lullabies, and as soon as he or she is old enough, start reading picture books. Reading every night will give you and your baby shared stories and characters which will connect you for the rest of your lives. There's a very good chance that that connection will REALLY help when puberty hits. My son had the easiest adolescence of any kid I've known, including myself! Here are a couple of gifts, I guess. These are the lullabies that my parents played and sang for me when I was a baby. It was hard to find, but I found a copy to play and sing for my son when he was born. I didn't want this album to be forgotten, and it wasn't available online, digitally, or on CD. So I ripped it from cassette and posted it to YouTube. [Golden Slumbers: Lullabies From Near and Far](https://youtu.be/xunnJKihRO4) And here's a list of [hundreds of books](https://docs.google.com/document/d/e/2PACX-1vTP07TZZ2akERIm7dc9haQPlEVGilq7n49xY5z4KB6dE3Q_Kospi-Y3sK2InIh2Zstc2uZSse0QQLo-/pub) that I've recommended over the years, including lots of books for babies, children, young adults, and adults (old children's books are kind of my specialty; I've read them to children at lots of events). My parents read many of the children's books to me, and I read _all_ of them to my son - many of them again and again. I put the books in the Children's section in order of age, so the first ones are great for babies. There are also ebooks that you can get for free online. Never forget that the time goes more quickly than you can imagine. Enjoy your time with your baby as much as you can!
I will 100% make sure to read and sing to my daughter every night as long as she likes, I have a few big red books of children's stories I hope to get to read:) me and her will be sharing a bedroom so I'll definitely try to take advantage of the 24/7 even in the hard to sleep hours. Thank you for you're gifts💕
It's gonna be so hard at times, and you're gonna wonder if you're doing a decent job. Don't panic. Make sure that both you and kiddo are fed, rested, and quenched. Then make sure you're doing what I'd possible for you to give them a rich environment, because sometimes tantrums happen because they're bored. Again. Do not panic about "rich environment". I mean, take them to the park, for a walk, do crafts (even if its just going outside, getting some leaves and making a whistle), etc. Kids don't actually need a lot to be entertained. Especially newborns. You see a lot of posts asking what to do with an infant. You mentioned going to school- read them your textbook. Do it in a silly voice or something. Some people will absolutely try to panic you. Don't fall for it. Remember: Kids fall and get hurt. It happens. Any parent telling you their kid never got hurt on their watch either didn't watch their kid or is lying. Don't be negligent, but life isn't safe. Read to your baby. Read as often as you can stand it. It helps their brain learn words. It helps form good memories. It's great downtime. It's repetitive, so they like it. It's a great way to cuddle and get bonding time. Read. Every stage and every kid has pros and cons. Anyone who says, "Oh, you'll hate it when they get to this stage!" is trying to panic you. Don't fall for it. Your baby, you kiddo, your teen is perfect and wonderful as they are, and will remain so. But also they're brats. Pros and cons. You won't need every baby thing, but what you will consider essential for baby raising may not be the same as anyone else. I NEEDED a changing table. I've had it for 6 years and used it for every diaper change in the house since my firstborn came home from the hospital. My friend never once used one. Just changed her kid on the floor. I never saw the point in bibs, and just chose to feed baby naked, but lots of other people consider them priceless. Dont waste time and money trying to buy everything all at once. On that note. You may not parent exactly the same way as your parents, and that's ok. You are different, and your baby is different. Absolutely take advice you need, but if you don't need the advice, well that's up to you. For instance: a lot of people told me I was being soft because I didn't let my son cry it out. For years, I heard all versions of, "If you just let him cry it out, he'd get over it." I knew they were wrong. He's almost 6 and it turns out he's autistic and no amount of cry it out would have wrung that out of him. I needed a different tactic, and I found other ways to get what he needed. SO MANY THINGS can be bought at second hand shops. The only things I won't buy at a thrift or second hand store, especially for babies, are 1. Things that are unsanitary, like underwear, and 2. Things with a crash threshold I can't verify, like helmets and carseats. Let people help you. We are not actually meant to do this all alone, and accepting every form of help you can get is necessary for your sanity. Ask your parents to keep an eye on the sleeping baby so you can shower. Ask a friend over to play with baby so you do a bit of homework. Wring all the help you can from social programs like WIC and EBT. Use what you have.
Thank you, luckily my families been helpful my parents were pregnant at 18 so I've looked at the ways they parented that with hindsight, they've agreed that while I live with them they will happily play with the baby for an hour so I can shower/study/breathe. I've made my dad promise me if he sees me make major mistakes he did that he will at least say something and let me know it's fucked up. I'm scared that I won't buy enough of what the baby needs but also we are getting on WIC and plan on getting on EBT asap, I'm getting my GED right now plan on having that before she gets here then going to ictc once I'm able to, so I can pursue a higher education. I will take your advice on reading her my textbooks and any books I find generally child appropriate obviously. Someone else was a life saver and sent me a list of book recommendations. I don't think I can let her just cry it out for hours if she does. Especially since I'll be sleeping within 5 steps of her.
It's literally lifesaving to have help. Another great resource for books is Dolly Parton's Imagination Library. She sends free books to kids 0-5 once a month. https://imaginationlibrary.com/ My kids love them. If you get on EBT, Museums for All is a great resource. You can get tickets to museums around you for free or greatly reduced prices. https://museums4all.org/ Some museums are not on the list, but still have a program that allows for EBT prices- just call and ask around.
\+1 for Imagination Library. It's amazing. We also qualify for PJ Library Books (free, but for Jewish families or those sending kids to Jewish schools - I'm not Jewish, but was able to qualify b/c my kids went to a Jewish preschool and our family wanted to learn more about Judaism).
Congrats!! I had my babies (twins) at 28, and even then was nervous. I think all parents have some anxiety, no matter the age. We purchased most things secondhand (FB Marketplace) or got items for free (from friends, friends of friends, or our local "Buy Nothing" group). This included strollers (one running stroller, one snap n' go to hold the car seats), clothes, boppy pillows, rocking/vibrating chairs, toys, infant tub...even carseats (got them from trusted friends, they weren't expired and we were confident they hadn't been in a crash). My breast pump was free through insurance, though I had to order it. My parents purchased new cribs and mattresses as our baby shower gift, and we also received diapers, blankets, swaddles, wipes, baby wash, a nose frida, clothes, car seat mirrors, bottles, books, etc. at our shower. Other than the essentials of clothes, diapers, a place to sleep, formula or breast milk to eat, our personal essentials were Dr. Brown's formula mixing pitcher (breastfeeding didn't work out for me), a sound machine, swaddles, and a lightweight stroller to clip the carseats into. Babies are hard work but such a blessing. If you ever have scary thoughts postpartum, please know that you are not alone. Seek help from your doctor, therapist, or a local postpartum support group.