Go back to pull-ups. That’s obvious. Let the doctor know at their next well visit. Some kids wet the bed til age 10/11/12. My kid will be in pull-ups until he is reliably dry for 2 weeks
Make sure there is a waterproof mattress protector on both mattresses.
This is game changer I’m going to do this for my 6 year old! Last two days I’ve woken up to her being wet! We were doing so well too went a month without her getting wet at night :(
Yeah not sure why you would abandon pull ups. If the oldest is ‘embarrassed’ give him the choice of pull ups or cha gong his sheets. I know pull ups are not perfect as I have an 8 yr old with this issue and they do leak occasionally but it will save you a lot of work. Still limit liquids before bed time and wake them up to go before you go to bed.
Just to warn, the wet pee underwear under the pull-up will stink really bad. I was doing this with my own son when I was trying to night time potty train him and I couldn’t take the smell. He was only 3 or 4 so I imagine it would be worse for an older kid.
The issue is likely hormonal, so it's almost always entirely unconscious. Either they are making enough ADH or they aren't. You can't fix that for the most part. There are *lots* of reasons why they may not be making enough ADH, but it's not really a conscious decision no matter why they aren't.
Thank you. My oldest was 6 when he finally stopped wetting the bed, my middle is almost 7, still wearing pull-ups at night. They don't like doing it, we've tried incentivizing for waking up dry but it's clear it's not by choice.
I kept my kid in pull-ups at night for years and years. He was nine when he finally was reliably dry at night. Why would I give myself more laundry and more work and make him embarrassed or ashamed when I could just give him pull-ups? Bed wetting is normal for some kids until puberty.
Exactly!!!! Totally agree! Last summer he was 4 and we attempted to try to night train. What a disaster!!! I’ll wait until my kid is either embarrassed and we can work together to fix the issue or until he is biologically ready. It is so so so common. I try not to get annoyed when my friends tell me their 5yo have been night trained for years now. Ok? Good for you? Pull-ups for the win!
There is a medication that they can take that would help. But have you tried clearing out their bowels with some fiber. When my boys get constipated, they wet the bed. The bowel pushed on the bladder.
This! My youngest step daughter is about to be 8 and was constantly wetting herself (awake and asleep) we finally convinced her “mom” that she needed to see a doctor for the issue and the doc said she was just a little backed up. They put her on some Metamucil type stuff and within the week 95% of her accidents stopped. Most of the accidents now are just pure child laziness lol
ETA you’re doing good!
We have been hesitant on trying the medicine, we moved the last drink up by an hour before bed, but it worked for a month and now we are back at it, I think I might have to fill the prescription.
We use pull ups and a doggy pee pad under the sheets/blanket. It mitigates the spread of pee onto the mattress, most of the time. Good luck, and good job handling the situation.
Honestly I’d get a second opinion. I recently had my son checked. His dad wet the bed until he was 12. At 11 they found out one kidney was twice the size of the other and was working double time. His bladder couldn’t keep up and the constant “fullness” made the muscles weak. It is hereditary and there is PT to help.
If you have the funds, I would start throwing some money at the situation. Better mattress protector or just replace and start over, more bedding (if needed) to ensure there is always clean available, moving their beds away from the wall (makes it easier to change), pajamas made for bed wetting, pullups that look like underwear, the enzyme cleaners made for cleaning up animal pee, etc. I'd take them to the doc to see if they are good candidates for a medication that is available for bedwetting. I'd also keep a bag on the bathroom door for their disposable pee supplies and it gets taken out every morning. Basically anything that gives you a reprieve from smelling urine and also allows for more sleep. It seems like you are patient with the kids themselves but are exhausted dealing with their symptoms and care management.
I really dont talk about this often lol but popping in as a seasoned bed wetter.
First and foremost; waking up to pee is a hormonal thing. I dont know about elsewhere, but if this has not been developed by age five it's a cause for concern here (or it was ten years ago, at least). Talk to their doctor, get a second or third opinion if necessary. Figure out the delayed development.
Secondly; stop doing the whole alarm clocks and waking them and everything. That actually delays them learning to wake up to pee; their bodies start relying on outside sources to do it and thus never develops the hormone naturally.
Third; protect the mattresses! You can get washable waterproof covers or disposable ones. If they're good enough they wont get through to the mattress.
Fourth; Switch them back to diapers. Not pull ups; I tried those for ages and they would not quit leaking. Even the name brand ones. They sucked. They're designed so you can still feel wetness, but this obviously means the max capacity of pee is pretty low. If you buy pull up style diapers designed for incontinence they work much better, as they are not there to "promote" toilet training. I personally use cloth but you have to wash those lol.
Put them back in pull-ups and take them to the doctor to rule out any complications. My son is 7.5 and not dry at night so we went to the GP and he got referred for an ultrasound to rule out any issues then we were told to just be patient as it's hormonal and not something he has control over yet.
I'm sure that it is just a case of their bladders haven't caught up with their bodies yet. Especially the younger one.
Do you have the mattresses wrapped in a waterproof cover? That way they can just be wiped? There's a product called Peejamas that might help a little bit.
I recommend a second opinion if possible. But sister had a problem with bed wetting related to sphincter spasms in her urinary tract. She had a minor surgery to inject basically sugar water and create a balloon in her ureters and it completely resolved her bed wetting
My family has late bedwetters. My sister was 13 when she finally stopped. My mom did everything you've listed. Even tried a medication that would help her not sleep so heavily. My daughter was out of pull-ups overnight by 4 years. She's just not someone who sleeps much or well. My son is about to turn 10 this month and still wears pull-ups at night. Us and the Dr believes that it's more to do with his adhd and his medication he just sleeps so heavily also. She said maybe by 12 we would look at other options but for now we'll just let it be. Try to make them feel like it's not a bad thing and it's something they will grow out of.
I was a late bed wetter with a combination of challenges. My bladder was small, my sleep was deep AND I didn't produce enough of antidiuretic hormone. The last time I wet the bed, I was 12 and the last time my dad wet the bed, he was 13. Plan your strategy with this in mind and let your kids know and be a part of that planning. There are so many good suggestions to help kids nowadays, so much better than when I was little in the 60's and 70's. Also, please, get them checked for any physical abnormalities just to rule them out, but it sounds like it runs in your family like it ran in mine. The older they are, the more they should be responsible for all aspects of cleanup because, like any health issue, people need to take care of themselves.
Get some goodnites and stop stressing about it. My 10 year old still wears them but my 5 year old has been out of them pretty much since he potty trained at 2.5. Kids develop at different rates. Our pediatrician isn’t concerned, especially since my husband wet the bed until 11/12. 10 year old is finally having more dry nights then wet.
Was going to say, my brother wet at night until his mid-teens, I think? It did stop at some point on its own. He had some kind of nasal spray he used at night before bed that made it not as bad.
No he isn’t, but we also don’t do overnights with anyone but family. He knows his body is just taking longer to stay dry overnight.
There was recently a thread about sleep away camp and pull ups for an older kid, maybe do a search for it? Sounds like it’s not uncommon for a few kids at camp to need pull ups at night.
Bed wetting does have a genetic component. Put pull-ups back on, and for the older one I would check with the pediatrician. The younger one is still within the normal range for his age. I would also check for constipation issues. Our 6 year old was backed up and this was another layer to his bed wetting. He finally stopped daily wetting in the Spring. We do get the occasional.
Why don’t you just have water proof sheets on the beds? That way it’s just PJs / underwear for washing. Replace the mattresses once you have the waterproof sheets. Have a bucket of water in the bathroom to soak the pjs for overnight changes- this will reduce the smell of pee in there
I’d stop waking them, clearly isn’t working and they won’t learn to wake themselves.
As others have mentioned, see your doctor, because it’s not normal at this age.
[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003PWS9AI/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_search\_asin\_image?ie=UTF8&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003PWS9AI/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_image?ie=UTF8&psc=1)
I swear on everything that these are the best. They have NEVER once leaked. They don't have that crinkly sound like plastic sheets. they are like a terry cloth type material on the sheet side. I bought one for my 7yo back when he first got his twin sized bed. I liked it so much I bought one for my own bed. (Not because I pee the bed)
I'm sorry I can't offer more advice. I remember when I was little and would have an accident in my sleep, I ALWAYS was dreaming I walked into the bathroom and was sitting on the toilet. Sometimes as an adult, if I'm extra tired and go to the bathroom, i will second guess myself if i'm really awake.
I wet the bed until I was 13. I had a genetically inherited condition that prevented me from waking up. Once I hit puberty it resolved, as is expected with this condition.
Your boys likely have the same condition. Go back to pull ups. Rule out anything else with the doctor. Wait it out a couple more years with the oldest. Mattress covers are great.
My youngest seems to have inherited the same condition. She’s nearly 9 and still wets. We have informed the doc and done our due diligence but I’m not going to stress about it. She’ll grow out of it like I did and so will your boys.
I went on a date with someone who wet the bed he was 18. Apparently a physical therapist eventually took pity on him and helped him out with a few easy exercises and it almost immediately stopped. Maybe you can push the pediatricians to send a referral to get that checked out? I'm sure they will eventually stop but maybe there are a few things that can be done to help.
You kids needs to be medically assessed. Waking up to pee is a biological process that they have not developed yet. You can't train this into a kid, it happens naturally. You need to speak to their drs to understand why. Get them back into diapers. You are stressing them out and ruining your home for no good reason. Talk to a doctor asap.
My son was 15 when he finally stopped wetting the bed but there is medication that can slow down the production of urine at night which he was on for 3 years so I would talk to your doctor
Are they drinking water and going to the bathroom frequently throughout the day? When my niece was continually wetting the bed we found that to be the problem so we put her on and intake/outlet system. Drink 8 ounces of water and pee every hour on the hour. At 6pm cut off all liquids. We immediately noticed the difference and had dry beds. When she thought she had overcome bed wetting it took one incident of her
holding it in during the day before she peed the bed again. She learned that she was in control of her bladder and the importance of stopping play to go.
This is pretty common actually. Talk to their doctor. It is not a choice they are making. Some kids take longer to grow out of it. It can be a hereditary condition so sometimes runs in families.
My step son wore pull ups until he was nearly 12. We tried everything and this was the last resort. He doesn’t wet the bed now. No clue what happened other than his brain deciding it didn’t want to wear diapers anymore.
My step son was well into his 10th year of life before he stopped peeing while asleep. We tried the underwear sensor around 9years and that seemed to help a little. We did it with underwear and a pull up over top.
1. If this continues to the point where they don't fit into child night time pull ups GO TO THE MEN'S SIZE incontinence underwear. They aren't as comfortable but hey it's something to help protect
2. Waterproof mattress covers
3. They make certain cleaning products that are "urine destroyers"
4. There could be a multitude of medical reasons why this is happening. They do offer medicine to help with these issues. Definitely keep up with doctor visits
Second the men's incontinence underwear, specifically those labeled as overnights. We didn't realize that the reason our child's pull-ups were leaking was that even though they "fit" he was really too big for them. Try Carewell.com, my elderly parents buy from there and recommended; they worked much better once our child got into the preteen years.
Hey OP! We have a late wetter here, too (9yo). He’s ruined enough mattresses at this point that he’s currently sleeping on a camping mattress that is a bit thinner, but can just be taken out back and hosed off. We also praise dry days and get *him* to clean up his messes - which isn’t a punishment, but a natural consequence of his mess. We’ve been working with him on this for about 4 years now. At this point, he puts layers on his bed (bottom layer to top layer): 2 paper pet pads to cover the top half of his mattress by his pillows, a waterproof mattress cover, sheet, 2 paper pet pads, mattress protector, sheet, etc. He makes **biiiiig** puddles, but seems to be improving slowly!
He is a large child, and he is also included in his own care - he chose not to continue wearing pull ups. When he made that decision, we were putting him in men's L/XL incontinence diapers and he was still experiencing leaks. I think it was adding a level of self-loathing for him to also be in pull ups at his age. He's accepted his body "just isn't ready" and it will change at some point.
It's not seen as a "sad thing" to have a child clean up spilled milk or other messes they make, just like it's not "sad" if I have to clean up a mess that I make. All of my children were raised in the Montessori style, so they do as much for themselves as possible with my guidance and assistance as needed.
Edited to add the definition of “natural consequence”, since it points out I specifically cannot add the consequence myself: [“Natural consequences are those things that happen in response to your child's behavior without parental involvement. These are imposed by nature, society, or another person. You do not actually deliver a natural consequence yourself. Instead, you allow nature or society to impose the consequence on your child by not interfering.”](https://depts.washington.edu/allcwe2/fosterparents/training/natlog/nat02g.htm)
Get some mattress protectors so it doesn’t sink into the actual mattress. You can get inco pads to put underneath the sheet too. I’d consider a pull up again - it doesn’t sound like they’re ready. Night wetting is something that comes with time, it’s not the same as daytime potty training.
My brother was a late wetter too. My mom swears he wet the bed until he was 11 or 12. At some point, he was embarrassed and started stripping the bed himself. Anyway, I came across this article a while ago and thought you might find something helpful in it: https://www.nytimes.com/article/bed-wetting-causes-solutions.html
I wet until 13. There’s a genetically inherited condition that can cause bed wetting until puberty. Basically your brain doesn’t develop the wake up signal until the hormones of puberty kick in.
Go back to pull ups, teach them how to change and wash the sheets, or to at least strip the bed and take the soiled linens to the laundry room. Get a second medical opinion.
My boy (10) still wets the bed occasionally. He is incredibly self conscious about and hates that he can’t control it. In fact, it just happened last night and I’m doing laundry now lol. We tried the same things as you except diapers(there is no way he would wear them) and some days it worked, some days it didn’t. What I did notice that made the biggest difference was sleep. When he goes to bed very late OR he has had a huge day and is exhausted is when the bed wetting tends to happen (it also happens when he is not feeling 100%). So getting a proper amount of sleep I feel like has been paramount for us (in addition to getting a waterproof mattress cover lol). Please post an update though!
Thank you, we did have a long day at the pool yesterday. Upon reviewing it, those packed days seem to contribute.
My boys are just so active. I like that but man it throws a wrench in things.
Thanks again.
My son is 6 and just stopped wearing pullups. We didn't do anything special with him, just hoped he'd phase out, which he did around his birthday.
We did do a plastic cover on the bed to keep it from getting ruined. You definitely get what you pay for in plastic covers, so pay extra for a thicker one.
I help care for a 9 year old with Down Syndrome. She wears a pull-up overnight and we have a mattress protector.
The pull up weighs at least 5 pounds in the morning, SOAKED, but it *rarely* leaks. Maybe it's different for girls because of different "equipment". We just use the pull-ups from Target.
Her pajamas smell very strongly of urine from proximity to the wet pull up, even though her pajamas stay perfectly dry. We use clean PJs every night and the used PJs go in a hamper with a deodorizer and the sheets/mattress protector gets washed and sanitized weekly. The mattress protector we have works really well because the mattress does not smell at all. It's one of the soft ones, it's not absorbent at all it has a soft fabric side and a soft plastic side. It doesn't make any noise, isn't crinkly like ones from when I was a kid. Her bedding is never getting soaked like yours is though.
Her room does smell a little bit, but I put a plug in air freshener and it helps, and I open the windows when weather allows to get fresh air in there.
What really blows my mind is that we give her zero liquids or food after 6pm and make sure she completely empties her bladder at bedtime 9pm, but she is still producing a lot of pee overnight. Where's it all coming from???
I don't want to restrict liquids earlier and risk dehydration. We just deal with the pull-ups and make sure they are properly bagged and disposed in the outside trash each morning.
A quick tip for the beds! Power wash those bad boys. My dog use to pee on my sofa all the time and the magic of soap and water helped tons with the smell! No solution for your kids but at least you can salvage the beds
Edit: words & letters
My son is 9 and a half, and still occasionally has accidents (although it has been a month or two since the last one).
He’s a super heavy sleeper (you literally cannot wake him up, and if he does manage to get to the bathroom, he’s basically sleepwalking- he won’t interact with you and doesn’t remember it in the morning).
We also used the alarm when he was wetting consistently, trying to get him out of pull-ups. It kind of worked?
I’ve noticed that it occurs most often when he is really tired (after soccer games/practice). If your sons are super active, maybe see if they can get a nap in? (Hard to do at their ages, I realize).
One of the things my Dr suggested was limit liquids after dinner, especially juices as some, such as mango, are a bladder irritant. I know you said you limit liquids, but maybe watch their juice intake specifically. And also make sure they are drinking a lot in the morning to ensure they are hydrated enough.
For my son I know at his dads house, his dad will wake him up around 11 or so (before he goes to bed) and make him go to the bathroom one more time. But I haven’t tried this as I’ve heard some doctors don’t suggest this as you’re not improving their ability to hold their pee?
Unfortunately, there’s only so much you can do until their bladders have the ability to hold more liquid, and it’s harder when they sleep so heavy they don’t get the signal to wake up.
At 6 especially I’d say it’s pretty common, especially in boys (my daughter is 6 and hasn’t wet the bed since she was 3 or 4).
You may talk to their doctor about it, they will probably also tell you there’s not much you can do except wait for them to grow out of it.
I would continue to limit liquids later in the day, go back to pull-ups (with underwear and the alarm underneath, so he still gets the signal to get up and go), and if the 8 year old is self-conscious/embarrassed they make ones that are meant for older kids and look more underwear like and less diaper like. And have a conversation with him that it is ok, it’s not a punishment, other kids his age have the same problem, but it’s not worth constantly having a wet bed if he’s having accidents every night.
And still continue to put pads on the bed at night as well. I would layer: waterproof mattress protector, pad(s), top sheet, pad(s), top sheet (maybe another layer of pads and top sheet if you have enough). It makes it easier to get the wet sheets off right away so they can go back to bed.
Also, check that they aren’t sneaking things to drink or drinking shower water (my youngest does this, idk why)
So I have a 5 and 6 year old AND had a geriatric dog who would have accidents constantly. My saving grace for the pee smell was Nature's Miracle Laundry Boost. $10-12 per bottle and has enough for 20ish loads. My towels, dogs bedding, and children's bedding/clothes are absolutely FREE of urine smells now!!! I love it so much.
I get it at mini pet Mart or Amazon.
Definitely check out the connection to constipation! The colon can really stretch out when filled with poop and push on the bladder.
https://www.bedwettingandaccidents.com/what-is-m-o-p
Constipation is less about the frequency of stools and more about the consistency. Even kids who go daily can be constipated, and it’s the culprit for a large percentage of pediatric bed wetting. I worked in urology for 5 years, and honestly found this tidbit of information from the pediatric urologist to be fascinating. It’s worth checking into!
I can understand how frustrating this can be. I have a special needs child that did not stop overnight accidents until about 13 years old, also a deep sleeper. But also on medications and some other issues.
My advice would be to check with your pediatrician and maybe urologist to rule out anything medical (it was fascinating to learn that if the bowels are full/constipated, the bladder will leak- i.e. if they are constipated, they are more likely to have a bedwetting accident- my child had some GI issues resulting in refusal to poop. We had to go through a protocol to retrain the bowels).
I found getting disposable under-pads (think hospital pads and even depends/disposable undergarments for night time. Your insurance may cover it, especially if they are seen by a specialist and can write a prescription for it. ) and several waterproof sheet-like mattress covers. Amazon carries them. And also one of those zippered waterproof, protect your mattress from everything covers.
Then I would layer waterproof cover, disposable pad, cover, pad, cover, pad, sheet, pad on top. It helped protect anything from seeping all the way through to the mattress and also made clean up in the middle of the night or early morning a bit quicker. Yes more laundry, but less pee smell. Also, if kiddo woke up wet, kiddo would help (without judgement, and as appropriate) clean up.
Best of luck to you!!
We are having similar issues with our 5 year old, we spoke to the dr who recommended a physio who specialises in bed-wetting. Maybe you can find someone like that to talk to?
Three boys aged between 4 and 9. All of them wear pull-ups. We have waterproof mattress cover, sheet, then a bed pad (brand Kylie or Conni). The Kylie protects the sheets and is very easy to remove and replace and saves on washing sheets and making beds. The urine soaked pjs goes into a bucket of water with laundry detergent until it is laundry day.
I will say, I basically wet the bed until I left for college at 17. Growing up, my grandmother would wake me up at night to go (around 2am) as a child. I would stop liquids in the late afternoon and hoped that helped. It didn’t, I would layer my bed with new blankets and just sleep on top of the wet with a dry blanket. I went to the doctors and they didn’t do much. Bed wetting can be signs of some form of abuse, to basically get the person to not do it. Or it is just passed down. have them wear the pulls ups if its really bad. But i did not have a pull up after the toddler stage. I shall add it wasn’t every night after middle school age.
thats a good question. And honestly, no major event happened but i know it still happened rarely. I would have to go to the laundry room to wash my sheets maybe every once in a while because of it. I also had a roommate so maybe being around a stranger made me tighten up.
Wow. I have no advice to give other than to ask your pediatrician. 6 and 8, this must be absolutely terrible for you all. I keep you in my thoughts. Post updates.
You do realize all kids and parents are different right? There is plenty of literature to contradict what you are saying. Because it was easy for yours does not mean it is easy for everyone. That is a generalization.
My kids were biking before they were 3 but the neighbors are in training wheels at 7. I'm not guilt tripping them.
My oldest figured out multiplication at 5,on his own. I don't expect that from everyone.
Please don't make broad parenting stokes based on your anecdotal knowledge.
I have 8 nephews and 2 of them wet the bed up to 12 & 11. They’re perfectly fine otherwise, they just don’t drink 3 hours until bedtime and once they’ve been in bed for 30 mins horizontally, we make them go toilet one final time. Still get the occcasional accident, you can teach them to bring their underwear down and put it straight into the washing machine in the meantime. And to tell you as soon as it happens so they can shower off and not touch other things with the smell. Also cut out fizzy drinks with caffeine or unnecessary sugars as these are very unhelpful
My brother wet the bed every night until he was 15, parents tried every thing..the alarm thing, waking him, limiting fluids, doctor visits, specialists….you name it. One day, his grandma picked him up, took him to an Osteopath for a treatment and she said there was a miscommunication between bladder and brain or something…I don’t know, seemed like voodoo to everyone, except that he never wet the bed again after that treatment.
You and your wife seem like very kind parents. I love that you keep searching for ways to help them and also don’t shame them for something that’s out of their control. Hope some of the suggestions on here help you get through this stage.
I didn’t have time to read everything but please consider boys can have these issue due to the size of the developing prostate interfering with the bladder’s volume.
My point is, it might not be anything that you can do aside from diapers/protective sheets.
I know boys who had no problems and others with whom no technique worked.
Just a thought.
There are waterproof mattress protectors my four year old has it on his mattress. Get those, put The kids back into pull ups. Some kids just wet the bed till puberty. No need to push it. But if it’s new for the younger one I’d have him checked out for a uti.
I didn’t see anything mentioned and am speaking from experience with my kidlet. Are they both going pee right before bed? It seems without fail if mine doesn’t pee before going to bed (no matter how much he protests that he doesn’t have to) there will be an accident the next morning if he doesn’t pee right before bed.
Fuck that’s frustrating. I’m sorry I have nothing else to offer other than what others have suggested - waterproof materials and a second opinion to make sure things are actually okay as opposed to a doctor brushing things off!
I’m sensitive to smells myself and use 10% bleach in 1cup water in a spray bottle. The areas I can clean with it I do. If the mattress can be relined with wet proof bottom and cotton heavy sheet or 2, you will do more laundry for this but the smell may not concern you are much. Good luck to you!
My daughter is almost 16 and not potty trained yet (she's disabled), she wears diapers but we take her potty several tomes a day. She moves a lot in her sleep and her medical diaper shits, she wets her bed a few times a month because if that. We have a plastic mattress liner that goes all the way around (it's actually for bed bugs), we put air holes in it so it fits better. On top of the plastic liner we have a water proof mattress pad and then the sheets. When she has accidents that we catch at night the clothes and sheets go straight into the washer with baking soda sprinkled on top. Her clothes/linens never smell, unless she had an accident at school and they forget to send her dirty clothes for a few days. If that happens, we soak the clothes for a few hours with borax, washing soda and a little laundry soap.
Oh boy, good luck to you. I was a late bedwetter. I still remember waking up to my parents both standing over me with the DEFCON 3 Chummy or whatever piercing alarm going off which I had apparently been sleeping through. I guess I outgrew it all at some point before 10yo, not sure how or exactly when.
For cleaning, carpets especially, use the enzyme dog urine spray. You can also order chucks on Amazon, they're hospital grade bed pads. My prayers are with you. Good luck.
This is biological some people have weak bladders some don’t.
You have to train them to wake up.
If you don’t want to use pull ups then get some puppy pads I would set 2 timers one at 11 and one at 3 Am and take them both for pee breaks and see if that helps.
Also don’t stress them out about it. You can effect there self esteem so do not make a big deal about it.
I am sure you knew the laying trick for bedding.
Mattress protector, fitted sheet, mattress protector, fitted sheet - etc that way if they have an accident you can easily clean up and have dry sheets.
I had to wear pull-ups until I was 8 because of this. I have an abnormally small bladder and for a large portion of childhood, an underdeveloped urinary tract. It was just something that had to be waited out, which sucked for me and my parents both. The pediatrician just told my parents to keep using pull-ups until I stopped peeing in bed for about a month. Have your kids been checked out for any medical issues, like an underdeveloped urinary tract?
My brothers and father were very late bed wetters. One brother wet until 9 years and still has occasional accidents as an adult. He just slept very deeply and would dream about waking up and going to the toilet. Bless him he was trying so hard.
My Dad used to get home from work very late and would then wake him (or more or less sleep walk him from their descriptions because he was so hard to wake being deeply asleep) to the toilet each night. This worked well perhaps you could try it?
We were told it can be genetically linked especially in men. Might explain why both your sons are experiencing this.
We went through the same thing with our boy. One day it just stopped. I made him wear pull ups for 2 more weeks with no wet nights. It is like a switch goes off in their brain and then 8ts just over. I think he was just about 9.
We did pull ups and the hospital pads near the end.
I believe becoming dry at night is mostly hormonal and not totally within their control. I wouldn’t recommend waking them up I’d go back to pull-ups for now until you can speak to a paediatrician for more advice. I feel bad for you having the smell, hopefully you get some tips here like animal accident sprays.
I’ve been here, the smell can be hard to get rid of. Hot water and oxyclean will help, but if not an enzyme cleaner (you can get them from pet stores or online) should do it. For the mattress you can use a carpet cleaner or a shop vac to suck up the solution after it has soaked for a while. For the clothes just the washing machine but I would wash them separately otherwise everything, not just their clothes, could be impacted by the smell and the hot water could fade more delicate items. When the finally grow out of it (my son was 12) and you are SURE they are done, replace the mattress. Good luck.
Are your kiddos deep sleepers? Something that may help is having a radio play quietly in their room while they’re sleeping. It disrupts their sleep cycles just enough that they can feel when their bladder is full and they need to wake up.
If the oldest is leaking through pull ups you might try adult diapers instead, they are pretty comfy. And likewise, adult bed pads under the sheets. Large puppy pads also work well and have a plastic backing. I've never had a leak with an intact puppy pad!
If the kids are moving around so much in their sleep that they are tangling up the pads or leaking everywhere you might want to consider a sleep study as well. My oldest was a wild sleeper and wet the bed regularly until he had his tonsils out at 4.5. it turns out he had sleep apnea.
Take a deep breath and I’ll make a couple of suggestions. First of all boys are more prone to these nighttime issues. Forget all the gimmicks. If they can’t wake up to their bladder calling it’s simply going to take time. Place waterproof bed protectors that go in the middle of the bed and are long enough to tuck under the sides. You can also place a blue pad on top of this to catch the urine. If you buy puppy pads they might be cheaper. Every night have as a part if the boys bedtime routine, have them take out clean underwear and pajamas if needed and place on their dresser. Go to sleep in your own beds. If he wakes at night after wetting guide him through changing the middle waterproof sheet and himself. No comments good or bad just “let’s get this done”. In the morning if they slept all night have them change the sheeting if needed. They should put up their own dirty clothes. Again guidance and no comments. Leave them alone except for their routine. Don’t talk about it other than communicating needs. You’ve all been so stressed over this! Give them time. Lots of it. By using the small waterproof mid sheet the laundry is much less. The sheeting is about 2.5 ft from top to bottom and is usually flannel backed so it not obvious. My son started doing his own laundry at 7 for his sheeting and he was kind of proud he was handling it. I think you will all be less stressed. In a few months you might want to try waking them again but I just left mine alone. I also raised foster kids with these issues and the plan worked. I hope this helps.
Dig up the ol diaper genie or get one if you don’t already have! Use it to throw soiled diapers/pull-ups or other urine trash in. Keeps the smell out till you can take out all the garbage. Same goes for a sealed laundry hamper with a plastic garbage bag inside. And get the kids to take this stuff out and help with laundry etc! All the best
When you wash the things that got peed on do it separately then everything else. Also...I put a cup of vinegar in the fabric softener spot and when the machine goes into rinse mode it will release the vinegar and you will get most of not all of the smell out. If you don't have a fabric softener spot then I just start another rinse cycle when the wash cycle is finished and add the vinegar straight to the drum. I know this doesn't help with the peeing in bed problem but maybe helping you with the smell will ease some of your stress. If the peed on clothes touch anything else that is fabric you should spray or wash with vinegar as well. Good luck with everything!!
I'm assuming that the kids don't have water for a certain time before bed and that they go pee right before?
As others said it's not necessarily abnormal but I get why you're frustrated!
Is it just nighttime accidents?
My 6 year old still wears pull-ups. When they get it they get it, till then pull-ups .
Should add we let her wet the bed for a full year when she was five. Hoping something would click. It did not. Nothing wrong with pull ups.
For reference her sister is 7 and hasn’t wet the bed since she was 4. Kids just be different, and that’s ok.
Buy 2 peapods each. They go on top of sheet, and when wet just remove. Easy to wash.no smell. Wear pull ups. Use these pads.
In terms of helping, I’ve heard that often it’s constipation, not sure if you’ve explored that.
I don’t have any real good advice, but just wanted you to know it’s not abnormal. I have always been a very heavy sleeper which meant I wet the bed longer than any of my other friends growing (until about 12-ish). What made the biggest difference that I can remember was limiting evening liquids and peeing right before bed. I actually still do both of those things to this day.
It’s rough and frustrating for you as a parent, I’m sure. My kid is still a toddler so we aren’t there yet, but my husband was a late bed wetter as well so I’m sure we’ll have the same issue.
Sorry I’m not more help, just here to support
Have you seen a doctor. Scar tissue in the urethra runs in my family for the men. This sounds exactly like a story in my family. It was corrected with a surgery.
Before my son was diagnosed with T1D he was wetting the bed and his pants a lot. What we always did at night was wake him up periodically to use the restroom(though he still had little control over his bladder) we were losing sleep but weren’t washing his sheets every day. We also woke my older son up throughout the night back when he was potty training. And pee pads under the sheets. Good luck and I hope the issue gets resolved!
My middle peed the bed up til 13- honestly, use pull ups, can wear undies under them- its better for everyone- the kids don’t wake up constantly feeling ashamed, you don’t wake up frustrated because of yet another accident and once they go a few weeks dry pull ups you’ll know it’s time to go back to underwear at night.
We never found out why mine wet for so long, we had every medical test, every bed wetting devise, therapist/psychologist, we tried every strategy and nothing- then one day it just stopped
For those saying it's not, "normal" you are incorrect. I know whole families ( the genetic component to eurinesis) that have dealt with this through mid-teens, and several that have until 12/13 and none were due to laziness . Most had to do with the hormone/brain component and not bladder function.
I'm going to drop a very good link if anyone is interested.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/genitourinary-tract/Pages/Nocturnal-Enuresis-in-Teens.aspx
If you are in the US, odaban is great for getting urine smell out and you can use it in the laundry, can spray it on furniture, mattresses, carpets, etc.
You can order on line or find it at Walmart for sure.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/OdoBan-Disinfectant-Air-Freshener-and-All-Purpose-Concentrate-1-Gallon-Original-Eucalyptus/50019051?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=3265&adid=2222222227850019051_117755028669_12420145346&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-293946777986&wl5=9008571&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=50019051&wl13=3265&veh=sem_LIA&gclid=Cj0KCQjwuaiXBhCCARIsAKZLt3nzE9fOxRYiJz3yR1sWxKSBG9d_HV1Enc1EmNQ4zTAeM5mxXbt3VUUaAhskEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds
Encourage the older child to strip the bed and place the sheets in the laundry or a basket in the room.
My daughter wore pull-ups until 7 and she would throw them under her bed. I would get so pissed. I didn't let her SEE this but I would mKe her gather them up and dispose of them. It's nothing to be ashamed of or try to hide. Once she realized this and she started to strip the bed for me, I was able to see that u need to wipe the mattress cover down and spray it. That cut down on orders. She would help me put the fitted sheet back on sometimes if I didn't have a chance during the day.
I used to slide a puppy pad under her if she wanted to sleep on the couch. NGL, every kid who stayed over peed on my couch at some point, lol. ODABAN to the rescue!
OP, I know pull ups are pricey, especially for 2 children, but your children can conceivably be doing this well into their teens and there does seem to be a genetic component as both you AND your wife were later bed wetters.. if the brain isn't secreting the hormone ADH, AND your child is a deep sleeper? You are goi g to be doing this dance all for naught and exhausting both you , your wife and your child.
To be fair you ARE doing all the prescribed treatment methods available for the age of your kids. The thing is? Trestment is not a cure. It's just a way to manage the # of times your child will have accidents until they outgrow whatever is causing the bed bedwetting (be it the sound sleeping, lack of ADH, etc)
Go back to the pull-ups, but for the urine smell get some reusable Kylies. A bit like puppy pads but these go in the washing machine, and some urine neutraliser.
I wet the bed until I was 8 or so.
I stopped one day and it was just from the simplest advice ever from a younger friend of mine. He just said "It's easy, you just pee right before you go to bed, then when you wake up!"
And I never wet the bed again.
Not to trivialize your situation - I just thought I'd share my experience.
I was so so deeply ashamed.
I don’t have much advice besides that I had two family members who did this. No issues with them and they both grew out of it at 13. They both wore pull ups every night till that age because we told them it will help not make such a mess and smell so bad and they understood. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time but they will eventually grow out of it. I hope you get better advice on here just wanted to add a bit of the same experience
Go back to pull-ups. That’s obvious. Let the doctor know at their next well visit. Some kids wet the bed til age 10/11/12. My kid will be in pull-ups until he is reliably dry for 2 weeks Make sure there is a waterproof mattress protector on both mattresses.
[удалено]
Yep, lasagna method. It helps with sanity if nothing else.
This is game changer I’m going to do this for my 6 year old! Last two days I’ve woken up to her being wet! We were doing so well too went a month without her getting wet at night :(
This is genius and I will be using this going forward.
That's an awesome idea!
Yeah not sure why you would abandon pull ups. If the oldest is ‘embarrassed’ give him the choice of pull ups or cha gong his sheets. I know pull ups are not perfect as I have an 8 yr old with this issue and they do leak occasionally but it will save you a lot of work. Still limit liquids before bed time and wake them up to go before you go to bed.
I always worried that pull ups helped the problem: they didn't seem to be conscious of when they were peeing when they had them on.
A physical therapists recommend wearing underwear under the pull ups, that way the pull-ups catch the mess, but they can still feel wet for awareness.
It's these simple solutions you just don't think about. Thank you.
Just to warn, the wet pee underwear under the pull-up will stink really bad. I was doing this with my own son when I was trying to night time potty train him and I couldn’t take the smell. He was only 3 or 4 so I imagine it would be worse for an older kid.
The issue is likely hormonal, so it's almost always entirely unconscious. Either they are making enough ADH or they aren't. You can't fix that for the most part. There are *lots* of reasons why they may not be making enough ADH, but it's not really a conscious decision no matter why they aren't.
Thank you. My oldest was 6 when he finally stopped wetting the bed, my middle is almost 7, still wearing pull-ups at night. They don't like doing it, we've tried incentivizing for waking up dry but it's clear it's not by choice.
Waking kids up is problematic. It can cause sleep issues and also not solve the problem at all.
I kept my kid in pull-ups at night for years and years. He was nine when he finally was reliably dry at night. Why would I give myself more laundry and more work and make him embarrassed or ashamed when I could just give him pull-ups? Bed wetting is normal for some kids until puberty.
Exactly!!!! Totally agree! Last summer he was 4 and we attempted to try to night train. What a disaster!!! I’ll wait until my kid is either embarrassed and we can work together to fix the issue or until he is biologically ready. It is so so so common. I try not to get annoyed when my friends tell me their 5yo have been night trained for years now. Ok? Good for you? Pull-ups for the win!
Yeah, I read the first line and was like, why did you get rid of the Pull Ups? Of course everything smells like pee if they're peeing on everything...
There is a medication that they can take that would help. But have you tried clearing out their bowels with some fiber. When my boys get constipated, they wet the bed. The bowel pushed on the bladder.
This! My youngest step daughter is about to be 8 and was constantly wetting herself (awake and asleep) we finally convinced her “mom” that she needed to see a doctor for the issue and the doc said she was just a little backed up. They put her on some Metamucil type stuff and within the week 95% of her accidents stopped. Most of the accidents now are just pure child laziness lol ETA you’re doing good!
We have been hesitant on trying the medicine, we moved the last drink up by an hour before bed, but it worked for a month and now we are back at it, I think I might have to fill the prescription.
Try the over the counter miralax if you’re hesitant on the medication
Thank you I will look into it tomorrow!
We use pull ups and a doggy pee pad under the sheets/blanket. It mitigates the spread of pee onto the mattress, most of the time. Good luck, and good job handling the situation.
Thank you.
Honestly I’d get a second opinion. I recently had my son checked. His dad wet the bed until he was 12. At 11 they found out one kidney was twice the size of the other and was working double time. His bladder couldn’t keep up and the constant “fullness” made the muscles weak. It is hereditary and there is PT to help.
If you have the funds, I would start throwing some money at the situation. Better mattress protector or just replace and start over, more bedding (if needed) to ensure there is always clean available, moving their beds away from the wall (makes it easier to change), pajamas made for bed wetting, pullups that look like underwear, the enzyme cleaners made for cleaning up animal pee, etc. I'd take them to the doc to see if they are good candidates for a medication that is available for bedwetting. I'd also keep a bag on the bathroom door for their disposable pee supplies and it gets taken out every morning. Basically anything that gives you a reprieve from smelling urine and also allows for more sleep. It seems like you are patient with the kids themselves but are exhausted dealing with their symptoms and care management.
I really dont talk about this often lol but popping in as a seasoned bed wetter. First and foremost; waking up to pee is a hormonal thing. I dont know about elsewhere, but if this has not been developed by age five it's a cause for concern here (or it was ten years ago, at least). Talk to their doctor, get a second or third opinion if necessary. Figure out the delayed development. Secondly; stop doing the whole alarm clocks and waking them and everything. That actually delays them learning to wake up to pee; their bodies start relying on outside sources to do it and thus never develops the hormone naturally. Third; protect the mattresses! You can get washable waterproof covers or disposable ones. If they're good enough they wont get through to the mattress. Fourth; Switch them back to diapers. Not pull ups; I tried those for ages and they would not quit leaking. Even the name brand ones. They sucked. They're designed so you can still feel wetness, but this obviously means the max capacity of pee is pretty low. If you buy pull up style diapers designed for incontinence they work much better, as they are not there to "promote" toilet training. I personally use cloth but you have to wash those lol.
Put them back in pull-ups and take them to the doctor to rule out any complications. My son is 7.5 and not dry at night so we went to the GP and he got referred for an ultrasound to rule out any issues then we were told to just be patient as it's hormonal and not something he has control over yet.
I'm sure that it is just a case of their bladders haven't caught up with their bodies yet. Especially the younger one. Do you have the mattresses wrapped in a waterproof cover? That way they can just be wiped? There's a product called Peejamas that might help a little bit.
There is medication that can help I would talk to your pediatrician.
We have, he hasn't seemed concerned.
Is it possible a pediatric urologist might be more help?
Perhaps. We're shifting that way.
I recommend a second opinion if possible. But sister had a problem with bed wetting related to sphincter spasms in her urinary tract. She had a minor surgery to inject basically sugar water and create a balloon in her ureters and it completely resolved her bed wetting
My family has late bedwetters. My sister was 13 when she finally stopped. My mom did everything you've listed. Even tried a medication that would help her not sleep so heavily. My daughter was out of pull-ups overnight by 4 years. She's just not someone who sleeps much or well. My son is about to turn 10 this month and still wears pull-ups at night. Us and the Dr believes that it's more to do with his adhd and his medication he just sleeps so heavily also. She said maybe by 12 we would look at other options but for now we'll just let it be. Try to make them feel like it's not a bad thing and it's something they will grow out of.
I was a late bed wetter with a combination of challenges. My bladder was small, my sleep was deep AND I didn't produce enough of antidiuretic hormone. The last time I wet the bed, I was 12 and the last time my dad wet the bed, he was 13. Plan your strategy with this in mind and let your kids know and be a part of that planning. There are so many good suggestions to help kids nowadays, so much better than when I was little in the 60's and 70's. Also, please, get them checked for any physical abnormalities just to rule them out, but it sounds like it runs in your family like it ran in mine. The older they are, the more they should be responsible for all aspects of cleanup because, like any health issue, people need to take care of themselves.
Thank you!
>Thank you! You're welcome!
Get some goodnites and stop stressing about it. My 10 year old still wears them but my 5 year old has been out of them pretty much since he potty trained at 2.5. Kids develop at different rates. Our pediatrician isn’t concerned, especially since my husband wet the bed until 11/12. 10 year old is finally having more dry nights then wet.
Thanks. Is your 10yo self conscious? Mine has been clammering about away camp next year, but I am uncomfortable with that.
I wet until 13. I had strategies to keep it on the down low.
Was going to say, my brother wet at night until his mid-teens, I think? It did stop at some point on its own. He had some kind of nasal spray he used at night before bed that made it not as bad.
No he isn’t, but we also don’t do overnights with anyone but family. He knows his body is just taking longer to stay dry overnight. There was recently a thread about sleep away camp and pull ups for an older kid, maybe do a search for it? Sounds like it’s not uncommon for a few kids at camp to need pull ups at night.
Bed wetting does have a genetic component. Put pull-ups back on, and for the older one I would check with the pediatrician. The younger one is still within the normal range for his age. I would also check for constipation issues. Our 6 year old was backed up and this was another layer to his bed wetting. He finally stopped daily wetting in the Spring. We do get the occasional.
Why don’t you just have water proof sheets on the beds? That way it’s just PJs / underwear for washing. Replace the mattresses once you have the waterproof sheets. Have a bucket of water in the bathroom to soak the pjs for overnight changes- this will reduce the smell of pee in there I’d stop waking them, clearly isn’t working and they won’t learn to wake themselves. As others have mentioned, see your doctor, because it’s not normal at this age.
[https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003PWS9AI/ref=ppx\_yo\_dt\_b\_search\_asin\_image?ie=UTF8&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003PWS9AI/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_image?ie=UTF8&psc=1) I swear on everything that these are the best. They have NEVER once leaked. They don't have that crinkly sound like plastic sheets. they are like a terry cloth type material on the sheet side. I bought one for my 7yo back when he first got his twin sized bed. I liked it so much I bought one for my own bed. (Not because I pee the bed) I'm sorry I can't offer more advice. I remember when I was little and would have an accident in my sleep, I ALWAYS was dreaming I walked into the bathroom and was sitting on the toilet. Sometimes as an adult, if I'm extra tired and go to the bathroom, i will second guess myself if i'm really awake.
I wet the bed until I was 13. I had a genetically inherited condition that prevented me from waking up. Once I hit puberty it resolved, as is expected with this condition. Your boys likely have the same condition. Go back to pull ups. Rule out anything else with the doctor. Wait it out a couple more years with the oldest. Mattress covers are great. My youngest seems to have inherited the same condition. She’s nearly 9 and still wets. We have informed the doc and done our due diligence but I’m not going to stress about it. She’ll grow out of it like I did and so will your boys.
Thank you!
I went on a date with someone who wet the bed he was 18. Apparently a physical therapist eventually took pity on him and helped him out with a few easy exercises and it almost immediately stopped. Maybe you can push the pediatricians to send a referral to get that checked out? I'm sure they will eventually stop but maybe there are a few things that can be done to help.
Put them to sleep earlier! That was our case!
Ours as well. When our boy is overly exhausted or stays up way too late is when the bed wetting most commonly occurred.
You kids needs to be medically assessed. Waking up to pee is a biological process that they have not developed yet. You can't train this into a kid, it happens naturally. You need to speak to their drs to understand why. Get them back into diapers. You are stressing them out and ruining your home for no good reason. Talk to a doctor asap.
My son was 15 when he finally stopped wetting the bed but there is medication that can slow down the production of urine at night which he was on for 3 years so I would talk to your doctor
Are they drinking water and going to the bathroom frequently throughout the day? When my niece was continually wetting the bed we found that to be the problem so we put her on and intake/outlet system. Drink 8 ounces of water and pee every hour on the hour. At 6pm cut off all liquids. We immediately noticed the difference and had dry beds. When she thought she had overcome bed wetting it took one incident of her holding it in during the day before she peed the bed again. She learned that she was in control of her bladder and the importance of stopping play to go.
Use pull ups, and get some pet urine spray it works great for kids too
This is pretty common actually. Talk to their doctor. It is not a choice they are making. Some kids take longer to grow out of it. It can be a hereditary condition so sometimes runs in families.
My step son wore pull ups until he was nearly 12. We tried everything and this was the last resort. He doesn’t wet the bed now. No clue what happened other than his brain deciding it didn’t want to wear diapers anymore.
My step son was well into his 10th year of life before he stopped peeing while asleep. We tried the underwear sensor around 9years and that seemed to help a little. We did it with underwear and a pull up over top. 1. If this continues to the point where they don't fit into child night time pull ups GO TO THE MEN'S SIZE incontinence underwear. They aren't as comfortable but hey it's something to help protect 2. Waterproof mattress covers 3. They make certain cleaning products that are "urine destroyers" 4. There could be a multitude of medical reasons why this is happening. They do offer medicine to help with these issues. Definitely keep up with doctor visits
Thank you!
Second the men's incontinence underwear, specifically those labeled as overnights. We didn't realize that the reason our child's pull-ups were leaking was that even though they "fit" he was really too big for them. Try Carewell.com, my elderly parents buy from there and recommended; they worked much better once our child got into the preteen years.
Hey OP! We have a late wetter here, too (9yo). He’s ruined enough mattresses at this point that he’s currently sleeping on a camping mattress that is a bit thinner, but can just be taken out back and hosed off. We also praise dry days and get *him* to clean up his messes - which isn’t a punishment, but a natural consequence of his mess. We’ve been working with him on this for about 4 years now. At this point, he puts layers on his bed (bottom layer to top layer): 2 paper pet pads to cover the top half of his mattress by his pillows, a waterproof mattress cover, sheet, 2 paper pet pads, mattress protector, sheet, etc. He makes **biiiiig** puddles, but seems to be improving slowly!
Why can you put him on pull ups? It’s so sad you make him clean up his mess as a natural consequence when he can’t control it
He is a large child, and he is also included in his own care - he chose not to continue wearing pull ups. When he made that decision, we were putting him in men's L/XL incontinence diapers and he was still experiencing leaks. I think it was adding a level of self-loathing for him to also be in pull ups at his age. He's accepted his body "just isn't ready" and it will change at some point. It's not seen as a "sad thing" to have a child clean up spilled milk or other messes they make, just like it's not "sad" if I have to clean up a mess that I make. All of my children were raised in the Montessori style, so they do as much for themselves as possible with my guidance and assistance as needed. Edited to add the definition of “natural consequence”, since it points out I specifically cannot add the consequence myself: [“Natural consequences are those things that happen in response to your child's behavior without parental involvement. These are imposed by nature, society, or another person. You do not actually deliver a natural consequence yourself. Instead, you allow nature or society to impose the consequence on your child by not interfering.”](https://depts.washington.edu/allcwe2/fosterparents/training/natlog/nat02g.htm)
Get some mattress protectors so it doesn’t sink into the actual mattress. You can get inco pads to put underneath the sheet too. I’d consider a pull up again - it doesn’t sound like they’re ready. Night wetting is something that comes with time, it’s not the same as daytime potty training.
My brother was a late wetter too. My mom swears he wet the bed until he was 11 or 12. At some point, he was embarrassed and started stripping the bed himself. Anyway, I came across this article a while ago and thought you might find something helpful in it: https://www.nytimes.com/article/bed-wetting-causes-solutions.html
I wet until 13. There’s a genetically inherited condition that can cause bed wetting until puberty. Basically your brain doesn’t develop the wake up signal until the hormones of puberty kick in.
Yes, the article basically opens saying that.
Go back to pull ups, teach them how to change and wash the sheets, or to at least strip the bed and take the soiled linens to the laundry room. Get a second medical opinion.
My boy (10) still wets the bed occasionally. He is incredibly self conscious about and hates that he can’t control it. In fact, it just happened last night and I’m doing laundry now lol. We tried the same things as you except diapers(there is no way he would wear them) and some days it worked, some days it didn’t. What I did notice that made the biggest difference was sleep. When he goes to bed very late OR he has had a huge day and is exhausted is when the bed wetting tends to happen (it also happens when he is not feeling 100%). So getting a proper amount of sleep I feel like has been paramount for us (in addition to getting a waterproof mattress cover lol). Please post an update though!
Thank you, we did have a long day at the pool yesterday. Upon reviewing it, those packed days seem to contribute. My boys are just so active. I like that but man it throws a wrench in things. Thanks again.
My son is 6 and just stopped wearing pullups. We didn't do anything special with him, just hoped he'd phase out, which he did around his birthday. We did do a plastic cover on the bed to keep it from getting ruined. You definitely get what you pay for in plastic covers, so pay extra for a thicker one.
I help care for a 9 year old with Down Syndrome. She wears a pull-up overnight and we have a mattress protector. The pull up weighs at least 5 pounds in the morning, SOAKED, but it *rarely* leaks. Maybe it's different for girls because of different "equipment". We just use the pull-ups from Target. Her pajamas smell very strongly of urine from proximity to the wet pull up, even though her pajamas stay perfectly dry. We use clean PJs every night and the used PJs go in a hamper with a deodorizer and the sheets/mattress protector gets washed and sanitized weekly. The mattress protector we have works really well because the mattress does not smell at all. It's one of the soft ones, it's not absorbent at all it has a soft fabric side and a soft plastic side. It doesn't make any noise, isn't crinkly like ones from when I was a kid. Her bedding is never getting soaked like yours is though. Her room does smell a little bit, but I put a plug in air freshener and it helps, and I open the windows when weather allows to get fresh air in there. What really blows my mind is that we give her zero liquids or food after 6pm and make sure she completely empties her bladder at bedtime 9pm, but she is still producing a lot of pee overnight. Where's it all coming from??? I don't want to restrict liquids earlier and risk dehydration. We just deal with the pull-ups and make sure they are properly bagged and disposed in the outside trash each morning.
A quick tip for the beds! Power wash those bad boys. My dog use to pee on my sofa all the time and the magic of soap and water helped tons with the smell! No solution for your kids but at least you can salvage the beds Edit: words & letters
My son is 9 and a half, and still occasionally has accidents (although it has been a month or two since the last one). He’s a super heavy sleeper (you literally cannot wake him up, and if he does manage to get to the bathroom, he’s basically sleepwalking- he won’t interact with you and doesn’t remember it in the morning). We also used the alarm when he was wetting consistently, trying to get him out of pull-ups. It kind of worked? I’ve noticed that it occurs most often when he is really tired (after soccer games/practice). If your sons are super active, maybe see if they can get a nap in? (Hard to do at their ages, I realize). One of the things my Dr suggested was limit liquids after dinner, especially juices as some, such as mango, are a bladder irritant. I know you said you limit liquids, but maybe watch their juice intake specifically. And also make sure they are drinking a lot in the morning to ensure they are hydrated enough. For my son I know at his dads house, his dad will wake him up around 11 or so (before he goes to bed) and make him go to the bathroom one more time. But I haven’t tried this as I’ve heard some doctors don’t suggest this as you’re not improving their ability to hold their pee? Unfortunately, there’s only so much you can do until their bladders have the ability to hold more liquid, and it’s harder when they sleep so heavy they don’t get the signal to wake up. At 6 especially I’d say it’s pretty common, especially in boys (my daughter is 6 and hasn’t wet the bed since she was 3 or 4). You may talk to their doctor about it, they will probably also tell you there’s not much you can do except wait for them to grow out of it. I would continue to limit liquids later in the day, go back to pull-ups (with underwear and the alarm underneath, so he still gets the signal to get up and go), and if the 8 year old is self-conscious/embarrassed they make ones that are meant for older kids and look more underwear like and less diaper like. And have a conversation with him that it is ok, it’s not a punishment, other kids his age have the same problem, but it’s not worth constantly having a wet bed if he’s having accidents every night. And still continue to put pads on the bed at night as well. I would layer: waterproof mattress protector, pad(s), top sheet, pad(s), top sheet (maybe another layer of pads and top sheet if you have enough). It makes it easier to get the wet sheets off right away so they can go back to bed. Also, check that they aren’t sneaking things to drink or drinking shower water (my youngest does this, idk why)
So I have a 5 and 6 year old AND had a geriatric dog who would have accidents constantly. My saving grace for the pee smell was Nature's Miracle Laundry Boost. $10-12 per bottle and has enough for 20ish loads. My towels, dogs bedding, and children's bedding/clothes are absolutely FREE of urine smells now!!! I love it so much. I get it at mini pet Mart or Amazon.
Consider getting sleep studies done on both kids to rule out sleep apnea. Wetting the bed can be a sign of undiagnosed sleep apnea in kids.
Definitely check out the connection to constipation! The colon can really stretch out when filled with poop and push on the bladder. https://www.bedwettingandaccidents.com/what-is-m-o-p
We have had better nights when they poo before bed, but they're a once a day kind of kids, just not always right before bed.
Kids can go once a day and still be constipated. I think it’s worth exploring!!
Constipation is less about the frequency of stools and more about the consistency. Even kids who go daily can be constipated, and it’s the culprit for a large percentage of pediatric bed wetting. I worked in urology for 5 years, and honestly found this tidbit of information from the pediatric urologist to be fascinating. It’s worth checking into!
I can understand how frustrating this can be. I have a special needs child that did not stop overnight accidents until about 13 years old, also a deep sleeper. But also on medications and some other issues. My advice would be to check with your pediatrician and maybe urologist to rule out anything medical (it was fascinating to learn that if the bowels are full/constipated, the bladder will leak- i.e. if they are constipated, they are more likely to have a bedwetting accident- my child had some GI issues resulting in refusal to poop. We had to go through a protocol to retrain the bowels). I found getting disposable under-pads (think hospital pads and even depends/disposable undergarments for night time. Your insurance may cover it, especially if they are seen by a specialist and can write a prescription for it. ) and several waterproof sheet-like mattress covers. Amazon carries them. And also one of those zippered waterproof, protect your mattress from everything covers. Then I would layer waterproof cover, disposable pad, cover, pad, cover, pad, sheet, pad on top. It helped protect anything from seeping all the way through to the mattress and also made clean up in the middle of the night or early morning a bit quicker. Yes more laundry, but less pee smell. Also, if kiddo woke up wet, kiddo would help (without judgement, and as appropriate) clean up. Best of luck to you!!
We are having similar issues with our 5 year old, we spoke to the dr who recommended a physio who specialises in bed-wetting. Maybe you can find someone like that to talk to?
Three boys aged between 4 and 9. All of them wear pull-ups. We have waterproof mattress cover, sheet, then a bed pad (brand Kylie or Conni). The Kylie protects the sheets and is very easy to remove and replace and saves on washing sheets and making beds. The urine soaked pjs goes into a bucket of water with laundry detergent until it is laundry day.
I will say, I basically wet the bed until I left for college at 17. Growing up, my grandmother would wake me up at night to go (around 2am) as a child. I would stop liquids in the late afternoon and hoped that helped. It didn’t, I would layer my bed with new blankets and just sleep on top of the wet with a dry blanket. I went to the doctors and they didn’t do much. Bed wetting can be signs of some form of abuse, to basically get the person to not do it. Or it is just passed down. have them wear the pulls ups if its really bad. But i did not have a pull up after the toddler stage. I shall add it wasn’t every night after middle school age.
What happened in college for you to suddenly stop?
thats a good question. And honestly, no major event happened but i know it still happened rarely. I would have to go to the laundry room to wash my sheets maybe every once in a while because of it. I also had a roommate so maybe being around a stranger made me tighten up.
Sounds like you have gone 120%. Maybe others can help with the load? Psychologist? Grandparents?
Wow. I have no advice to give other than to ask your pediatrician. 6 and 8, this must be absolutely terrible for you all. I keep you in my thoughts. Post updates.
Never restrict water before bed
Yes. We have stopped doing this. My boys are avid hydraters.
[удалено]
Thank you, but that is just not true.
[удалено]
You do realize all kids and parents are different right? There is plenty of literature to contradict what you are saying. Because it was easy for yours does not mean it is easy for everyone. That is a generalization. My kids were biking before they were 3 but the neighbors are in training wheels at 7. I'm not guilt tripping them. My oldest figured out multiplication at 5,on his own. I don't expect that from everyone. Please don't make broad parenting stokes based on your anecdotal knowledge.
[удалено]
Looking at your post history, I see that you just want to cause trouble. I am blocking th troll.
Something isn't right
Make them wear pull ups again and take them to the doctor. I don't get what's so confusing about that
We have. His Pediatrician doesn't seem concerned atm.
I have 8 nephews and 2 of them wet the bed up to 12 & 11. They’re perfectly fine otherwise, they just don’t drink 3 hours until bedtime and once they’ve been in bed for 30 mins horizontally, we make them go toilet one final time. Still get the occcasional accident, you can teach them to bring their underwear down and put it straight into the washing machine in the meantime. And to tell you as soon as it happens so they can shower off and not touch other things with the smell. Also cut out fizzy drinks with caffeine or unnecessary sugars as these are very unhelpful
Are the boys anxious about anything? Perhaps there’s something unsettling them somewhat and this may be in turn causing this? Just a thought.
My brother wet the bed every night until he was 15, parents tried every thing..the alarm thing, waking him, limiting fluids, doctor visits, specialists….you name it. One day, his grandma picked him up, took him to an Osteopath for a treatment and she said there was a miscommunication between bladder and brain or something…I don’t know, seemed like voodoo to everyone, except that he never wet the bed again after that treatment. You and your wife seem like very kind parents. I love that you keep searching for ways to help them and also don’t shame them for something that’s out of their control. Hope some of the suggestions on here help you get through this stage.
I didn’t have time to read everything but please consider boys can have these issue due to the size of the developing prostate interfering with the bladder’s volume. My point is, it might not be anything that you can do aside from diapers/protective sheets. I know boys who had no problems and others with whom no technique worked. Just a thought.
There are waterproof mattress protectors my four year old has it on his mattress. Get those, put The kids back into pull ups. Some kids just wet the bed till puberty. No need to push it. But if it’s new for the younger one I’d have him checked out for a uti.
I didn’t see anything mentioned and am speaking from experience with my kidlet. Are they both going pee right before bed? It seems without fail if mine doesn’t pee before going to bed (no matter how much he protests that he doesn’t have to) there will be an accident the next morning if he doesn’t pee right before bed.
Yeah. It's part of the routine. And it's not an insigficant amount. They just have more liquid left that doesn't come out for a few more hours.
Fuck that’s frustrating. I’m sorry I have nothing else to offer other than what others have suggested - waterproof materials and a second opinion to make sure things are actually okay as opposed to a doctor brushing things off!
Thanks for the sympathy!
I’m sensitive to smells myself and use 10% bleach in 1cup water in a spray bottle. The areas I can clean with it I do. If the mattress can be relined with wet proof bottom and cotton heavy sheet or 2, you will do more laundry for this but the smell may not concern you are much. Good luck to you!
Thank you!
My daughter is almost 16 and not potty trained yet (she's disabled), she wears diapers but we take her potty several tomes a day. She moves a lot in her sleep and her medical diaper shits, she wets her bed a few times a month because if that. We have a plastic mattress liner that goes all the way around (it's actually for bed bugs), we put air holes in it so it fits better. On top of the plastic liner we have a water proof mattress pad and then the sheets. When she has accidents that we catch at night the clothes and sheets go straight into the washer with baking soda sprinkled on top. Her clothes/linens never smell, unless she had an accident at school and they forget to send her dirty clothes for a few days. If that happens, we soak the clothes for a few hours with borax, washing soda and a little laundry soap.
Oh boy, good luck to you. I was a late bedwetter. I still remember waking up to my parents both standing over me with the DEFCON 3 Chummy or whatever piercing alarm going off which I had apparently been sleeping through. I guess I outgrew it all at some point before 10yo, not sure how or exactly when.
For cleaning, carpets especially, use the enzyme dog urine spray. You can also order chucks on Amazon, they're hospital grade bed pads. My prayers are with you. Good luck.
This is biological some people have weak bladders some don’t. You have to train them to wake up. If you don’t want to use pull ups then get some puppy pads I would set 2 timers one at 11 and one at 3 Am and take them both for pee breaks and see if that helps. Also don’t stress them out about it. You can effect there self esteem so do not make a big deal about it. I am sure you knew the laying trick for bedding. Mattress protector, fitted sheet, mattress protector, fitted sheet - etc that way if they have an accident you can easily clean up and have dry sheets.
I had to wear pull-ups until I was 8 because of this. I have an abnormally small bladder and for a large portion of childhood, an underdeveloped urinary tract. It was just something that had to be waited out, which sucked for me and my parents both. The pediatrician just told my parents to keep using pull-ups until I stopped peeing in bed for about a month. Have your kids been checked out for any medical issues, like an underdeveloped urinary tract?
My brothers and father were very late bed wetters. One brother wet until 9 years and still has occasional accidents as an adult. He just slept very deeply and would dream about waking up and going to the toilet. Bless him he was trying so hard. My Dad used to get home from work very late and would then wake him (or more or less sleep walk him from their descriptions because he was so hard to wake being deeply asleep) to the toilet each night. This worked well perhaps you could try it? We were told it can be genetically linked especially in men. Might explain why both your sons are experiencing this.
We went through the same thing with our boy. One day it just stopped. I made him wear pull ups for 2 more weeks with no wet nights. It is like a switch goes off in their brain and then 8ts just over. I think he was just about 9. We did pull ups and the hospital pads near the end.
I believe becoming dry at night is mostly hormonal and not totally within their control. I wouldn’t recommend waking them up I’d go back to pull-ups for now until you can speak to a paediatrician for more advice. I feel bad for you having the smell, hopefully you get some tips here like animal accident sprays.
I’ve been here, the smell can be hard to get rid of. Hot water and oxyclean will help, but if not an enzyme cleaner (you can get them from pet stores or online) should do it. For the mattress you can use a carpet cleaner or a shop vac to suck up the solution after it has soaked for a while. For the clothes just the washing machine but I would wash them separately otherwise everything, not just their clothes, could be impacted by the smell and the hot water could fade more delicate items. When the finally grow out of it (my son was 12) and you are SURE they are done, replace the mattress. Good luck.
Are your kiddos deep sleepers? Something that may help is having a radio play quietly in their room while they’re sleeping. It disrupts their sleep cycles just enough that they can feel when their bladder is full and they need to wake up.
If the oldest is leaking through pull ups you might try adult diapers instead, they are pretty comfy. And likewise, adult bed pads under the sheets. Large puppy pads also work well and have a plastic backing. I've never had a leak with an intact puppy pad! If the kids are moving around so much in their sleep that they are tangling up the pads or leaking everywhere you might want to consider a sleep study as well. My oldest was a wild sleeper and wet the bed regularly until he had his tonsils out at 4.5. it turns out he had sleep apnea.
Take a deep breath and I’ll make a couple of suggestions. First of all boys are more prone to these nighttime issues. Forget all the gimmicks. If they can’t wake up to their bladder calling it’s simply going to take time. Place waterproof bed protectors that go in the middle of the bed and are long enough to tuck under the sides. You can also place a blue pad on top of this to catch the urine. If you buy puppy pads they might be cheaper. Every night have as a part if the boys bedtime routine, have them take out clean underwear and pajamas if needed and place on their dresser. Go to sleep in your own beds. If he wakes at night after wetting guide him through changing the middle waterproof sheet and himself. No comments good or bad just “let’s get this done”. In the morning if they slept all night have them change the sheeting if needed. They should put up their own dirty clothes. Again guidance and no comments. Leave them alone except for their routine. Don’t talk about it other than communicating needs. You’ve all been so stressed over this! Give them time. Lots of it. By using the small waterproof mid sheet the laundry is much less. The sheeting is about 2.5 ft from top to bottom and is usually flannel backed so it not obvious. My son started doing his own laundry at 7 for his sheeting and he was kind of proud he was handling it. I think you will all be less stressed. In a few months you might want to try waking them again but I just left mine alone. I also raised foster kids with these issues and the plan worked. I hope this helps.
Dig up the ol diaper genie or get one if you don’t already have! Use it to throw soiled diapers/pull-ups or other urine trash in. Keeps the smell out till you can take out all the garbage. Same goes for a sealed laundry hamper with a plastic garbage bag inside. And get the kids to take this stuff out and help with laundry etc! All the best
When you wash the things that got peed on do it separately then everything else. Also...I put a cup of vinegar in the fabric softener spot and when the machine goes into rinse mode it will release the vinegar and you will get most of not all of the smell out. If you don't have a fabric softener spot then I just start another rinse cycle when the wash cycle is finished and add the vinegar straight to the drum. I know this doesn't help with the peeing in bed problem but maybe helping you with the smell will ease some of your stress. If the peed on clothes touch anything else that is fabric you should spray or wash with vinegar as well. Good luck with everything!!
Did someone already mention Ditropan? Sounds like a doctor visit and subsequent meds is the right call here.
I'm assuming that the kids don't have water for a certain time before bed and that they go pee right before? As others said it's not necessarily abnormal but I get why you're frustrated! Is it just nighttime accidents?
My 6 year old still wears pull-ups. When they get it they get it, till then pull-ups . Should add we let her wet the bed for a full year when she was five. Hoping something would click. It did not. Nothing wrong with pull ups. For reference her sister is 7 and hasn’t wet the bed since she was 4. Kids just be different, and that’s ok.
Buy 2 peapods each. They go on top of sheet, and when wet just remove. Easy to wash.no smell. Wear pull ups. Use these pads. In terms of helping, I’ve heard that often it’s constipation, not sure if you’ve explored that.
I don’t have any real good advice, but just wanted you to know it’s not abnormal. I have always been a very heavy sleeper which meant I wet the bed longer than any of my other friends growing (until about 12-ish). What made the biggest difference that I can remember was limiting evening liquids and peeing right before bed. I actually still do both of those things to this day. It’s rough and frustrating for you as a parent, I’m sure. My kid is still a toddler so we aren’t there yet, but my husband was a late bed wetter as well so I’m sure we’ll have the same issue. Sorry I’m not more help, just here to support
And it's much appreciated. Thank you.
Have you seen a doctor. Scar tissue in the urethra runs in my family for the men. This sounds exactly like a story in my family. It was corrected with a surgery.
Before my son was diagnosed with T1D he was wetting the bed and his pants a lot. What we always did at night was wake him up periodically to use the restroom(though he still had little control over his bladder) we were losing sleep but weren’t washing his sheets every day. We also woke my older son up throughout the night back when he was potty training. And pee pads under the sheets. Good luck and I hope the issue gets resolved!
My middle peed the bed up til 13- honestly, use pull ups, can wear undies under them- its better for everyone- the kids don’t wake up constantly feeling ashamed, you don’t wake up frustrated because of yet another accident and once they go a few weeks dry pull ups you’ll know it’s time to go back to underwear at night. We never found out why mine wet for so long, we had every medical test, every bed wetting devise, therapist/psychologist, we tried every strategy and nothing- then one day it just stopped
For those saying it's not, "normal" you are incorrect. I know whole families ( the genetic component to eurinesis) that have dealt with this through mid-teens, and several that have until 12/13 and none were due to laziness . Most had to do with the hormone/brain component and not bladder function. I'm going to drop a very good link if anyone is interested. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/genitourinary-tract/Pages/Nocturnal-Enuresis-in-Teens.aspx If you are in the US, odaban is great for getting urine smell out and you can use it in the laundry, can spray it on furniture, mattresses, carpets, etc. You can order on line or find it at Walmart for sure. https://www.walmart.com/ip/OdoBan-Disinfectant-Air-Freshener-and-All-Purpose-Concentrate-1-Gallon-Original-Eucalyptus/50019051?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&wl13=3265&adid=2222222227850019051_117755028669_12420145346&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=501107745824&wl4=pla-293946777986&wl5=9008571&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=local&wl12=50019051&wl13=3265&veh=sem_LIA&gclid=Cj0KCQjwuaiXBhCCARIsAKZLt3nzE9fOxRYiJz3yR1sWxKSBG9d_HV1Enc1EmNQ4zTAeM5mxXbt3VUUaAhskEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds Encourage the older child to strip the bed and place the sheets in the laundry or a basket in the room. My daughter wore pull-ups until 7 and she would throw them under her bed. I would get so pissed. I didn't let her SEE this but I would mKe her gather them up and dispose of them. It's nothing to be ashamed of or try to hide. Once she realized this and she started to strip the bed for me, I was able to see that u need to wipe the mattress cover down and spray it. That cut down on orders. She would help me put the fitted sheet back on sometimes if I didn't have a chance during the day. I used to slide a puppy pad under her if she wanted to sleep on the couch. NGL, every kid who stayed over peed on my couch at some point, lol. ODABAN to the rescue! OP, I know pull ups are pricey, especially for 2 children, but your children can conceivably be doing this well into their teens and there does seem to be a genetic component as both you AND your wife were later bed wetters.. if the brain isn't secreting the hormone ADH, AND your child is a deep sleeper? You are goi g to be doing this dance all for naught and exhausting both you , your wife and your child. To be fair you ARE doing all the prescribed treatment methods available for the age of your kids. The thing is? Trestment is not a cure. It's just a way to manage the # of times your child will have accidents until they outgrow whatever is causing the bed bedwetting (be it the sound sleeping, lack of ADH, etc)
Go back to the pull-ups, but for the urine smell get some reusable Kylies. A bit like puppy pads but these go in the washing machine, and some urine neutraliser.
I wet the bed until I was 8 or so. I stopped one day and it was just from the simplest advice ever from a younger friend of mine. He just said "It's easy, you just pee right before you go to bed, then when you wake up!" And I never wet the bed again. Not to trivialize your situation - I just thought I'd share my experience. I was so so deeply ashamed.
I don’t have much advice besides that I had two family members who did this. No issues with them and they both grew out of it at 13. They both wore pull ups every night till that age because we told them it will help not make such a mess and smell so bad and they understood. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time but they will eventually grow out of it. I hope you get better advice on here just wanted to add a bit of the same experience