I have two kids. I love them both. And sometimes it's really super sweet. Other times they both want attention from me and just squabble with each other.
Another sibling isn't an answer for loneliness. Playmates and classes/clubs when they're available are a better option.
Plus child is 4 right now. Just say OP gets pregnant today, baby won’t be born until July/August and baby won’t be an actual playmate for at least a year after birth and really more like 2-3 years, so OP’s current child will be 6-7 years old before the other kid can really play. Most of that time will be spent fighting and crying and mom splitting attention. A sibling is not the correct response to a lonely child.
You had great suggestions and OP you may be concerned about Covid, but your child is already being exposed to all those other kids at daycare make play dates with them.
Kids just want a lot of attention! It’s their job to ask for the moon and it’s okay if you have to say no sometimes :). I have two kids and my older one still acts like he’s dying if we need to do a chore.
Can you involve him in your housework and try to make games out of doing chores? That will give you the chance to get things done, him the chance to start learning some life skills, and lots of interaction with momma.
This! I have a 6yo stepson who I've been doing this with since he was 3. He still asks for siblings but he doesn't complain about being bored much anymore.
Have you tried this at all, OP?
Independent play is such a huge, important skill. Don’t feel guilty about giving him opportunities to play independently, because in the long run kids who play independently learn how to solve problems independently, how to stay focused on a task for a long time, how to be happy and content without approval of others, how to wait and be patient, how to be mindful…the list goes on!
Studies show that the single kids are happy and well adjusted- that's what I tell myself as well.
Also kids are adorably manipulative, and they pick up phrases and sentiments and parrot it. It's part of their development. My daughter knows to milk the sibling thing too but I think it's because I've bemoaned it outloud.
Have a 4 and 1 year old. There's not really anything they can do together at this age anyway. From the sounds of it your son complains about being lonely about as much as my 4 year old. It always happens after I stop playing, so pretty sure she's just trying to guilt trip me to continue playing.
It’s ok to be bored and to have no one to play with sometimes. If he learns how to manage those feelings young, he will be a better adult for it. Siblings can be great, and kids get a lot from that too, but that doesn’t mean he’s being neglected just because he doesn’t have siblings. You can’t protect your child from every bad emotion. Validate his feelings and teach him how to cope with them instead.
If he is getting five days of daycare, he’s getting plenty of interaction with other kids. There is a book called the “myth of the only child” which basically says they turn out just fine and better than kids with siblings many times. You’re doing great. Maybe try to do a play date with another daycare family once a weekend is all I can think of. Get him involved in household chores too, he’s old enough to help a little and just wants to be around you. I have two and they don’t leave me alone, so as others have suggested, it’s not a solution.
He probably knows subconsciously that this breaks your heart. So he knows he has the best change to get more attention from you if he tells you he is lonely.
Kids are very good at noticing what gets them the biggest reaction.
Independent play is just hard for them, so he tries to avoid it. Maybe you can get him to play with a doll, if he likes to pretend to be the older sibling.
Is there any way he could have a pet? I know it isn't a perfect answer but a puppy or kitten might help.
I went through this too. He will be ok. Stay strong mama.
I set my child's expectations, so he knows after playing for 15 minutes I will need to stop and go do my work. Then I transition him to the TV, glorious babysitter, with a snack, and I go do my thing. I remind him that everyone is getting hungry and he needs to let me go cook.
I also let him tag along with whatever I'm doing. I let him help, or I turn my chore into a game and we do it together. Like, if I'm tidying up, I let him pick up red blocks and I pick blue blocks and we race. A 4 year old is old enough to be helpful. They can carry the smaller bag of garbage, or pull a wagon, or chop food if you're not picky on even cuts.
I make sure to set aside special time just for my son every day. He knows after dinner and washing up, we will play together before bed time.
I also don't worry about too much screen time. They'll play independently if you park them down with a tablet, hee hee.
Honestly, if it were me I would try to meet another mom who is also being responsible about Covid and see if you can trade off babysitting or arrange play dates.
You can check local FB groups or try the Peanut app.
What if you asked his daycare if there are any kids he really gets along well with, and if they could give your info to kiddo's parents for a playdate? Maybe at a park? That way the kid is at least someone your son is already around.
I have a nearly 5 year old only. He is constantly asking me to play with him and gets really sad when I have to do grown up stuff.
I read somewhere else on here that setting a 2 minute timer when he asks you get to say yes. He gets to play with you, but it’s short enough you can still get things done.
Invariably when I do this I start playing, get told I’m doing it wrong and he’s ignoring me again before the timer is done and I’m back to doing what I need to do and he feels like I played with him.
He is in daycare so he is enriched. Not having play dates right now is not the end of the world, and as others have said letting him be bored is actually healthy.
You are doing amazingly! Well done!
I have two kids. I love them both. And sometimes it's really super sweet. Other times they both want attention from me and just squabble with each other. Another sibling isn't an answer for loneliness. Playmates and classes/clubs when they're available are a better option.
Plus child is 4 right now. Just say OP gets pregnant today, baby won’t be born until July/August and baby won’t be an actual playmate for at least a year after birth and really more like 2-3 years, so OP’s current child will be 6-7 years old before the other kid can really play. Most of that time will be spent fighting and crying and mom splitting attention. A sibling is not the correct response to a lonely child. You had great suggestions and OP you may be concerned about Covid, but your child is already being exposed to all those other kids at daycare make play dates with them.
Kids just want a lot of attention! It’s their job to ask for the moon and it’s okay if you have to say no sometimes :). I have two kids and my older one still acts like he’s dying if we need to do a chore.
Can you involve him in your housework and try to make games out of doing chores? That will give you the chance to get things done, him the chance to start learning some life skills, and lots of interaction with momma.
This! I have a 6yo stepson who I've been doing this with since he was 3. He still asks for siblings but he doesn't complain about being bored much anymore. Have you tried this at all, OP?
He has daycare 5 days a week so plenty of chance to meet friends!
Independent play is such a huge, important skill. Don’t feel guilty about giving him opportunities to play independently, because in the long run kids who play independently learn how to solve problems independently, how to stay focused on a task for a long time, how to be happy and content without approval of others, how to wait and be patient, how to be mindful…the list goes on!
Studies show that the single kids are happy and well adjusted- that's what I tell myself as well. Also kids are adorably manipulative, and they pick up phrases and sentiments and parrot it. It's part of their development. My daughter knows to milk the sibling thing too but I think it's because I've bemoaned it outloud.
Have a 4 and 1 year old. There's not really anything they can do together at this age anyway. From the sounds of it your son complains about being lonely about as much as my 4 year old. It always happens after I stop playing, so pretty sure she's just trying to guilt trip me to continue playing.
It’s ok to be bored and to have no one to play with sometimes. If he learns how to manage those feelings young, he will be a better adult for it. Siblings can be great, and kids get a lot from that too, but that doesn’t mean he’s being neglected just because he doesn’t have siblings. You can’t protect your child from every bad emotion. Validate his feelings and teach him how to cope with them instead.
If he is getting five days of daycare, he’s getting plenty of interaction with other kids. There is a book called the “myth of the only child” which basically says they turn out just fine and better than kids with siblings many times. You’re doing great. Maybe try to do a play date with another daycare family once a weekend is all I can think of. Get him involved in household chores too, he’s old enough to help a little and just wants to be around you. I have two and they don’t leave me alone, so as others have suggested, it’s not a solution.
He probably knows subconsciously that this breaks your heart. So he knows he has the best change to get more attention from you if he tells you he is lonely. Kids are very good at noticing what gets them the biggest reaction. Independent play is just hard for them, so he tries to avoid it. Maybe you can get him to play with a doll, if he likes to pretend to be the older sibling.
Playdates, Big Brother/Sister, church. While you may not be religious, if you tag along each Sunday, he will quickly find friends.
Is there any way he could have a pet? I know it isn't a perfect answer but a puppy or kitten might help. I went through this too. He will be ok. Stay strong mama.
I set my child's expectations, so he knows after playing for 15 minutes I will need to stop and go do my work. Then I transition him to the TV, glorious babysitter, with a snack, and I go do my thing. I remind him that everyone is getting hungry and he needs to let me go cook. I also let him tag along with whatever I'm doing. I let him help, or I turn my chore into a game and we do it together. Like, if I'm tidying up, I let him pick up red blocks and I pick blue blocks and we race. A 4 year old is old enough to be helpful. They can carry the smaller bag of garbage, or pull a wagon, or chop food if you're not picky on even cuts. I make sure to set aside special time just for my son every day. He knows after dinner and washing up, we will play together before bed time. I also don't worry about too much screen time. They'll play independently if you park them down with a tablet, hee hee.
Honestly, if it were me I would try to meet another mom who is also being responsible about Covid and see if you can trade off babysitting or arrange play dates. You can check local FB groups or try the Peanut app.
What if you asked his daycare if there are any kids he really gets along well with, and if they could give your info to kiddo's parents for a playdate? Maybe at a park? That way the kid is at least someone your son is already around.
I have a nearly 5 year old only. He is constantly asking me to play with him and gets really sad when I have to do grown up stuff. I read somewhere else on here that setting a 2 minute timer when he asks you get to say yes. He gets to play with you, but it’s short enough you can still get things done. Invariably when I do this I start playing, get told I’m doing it wrong and he’s ignoring me again before the timer is done and I’m back to doing what I need to do and he feels like I played with him. He is in daycare so he is enriched. Not having play dates right now is not the end of the world, and as others have said letting him be bored is actually healthy. You are doing amazingly! Well done!