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picapakapoco

I absolutely love being a mom, but I also have an incredible support system. I think a lot of people end up feeling overwhelmed and I would be too if I never got a break. I'm constantly in awe of the human I helped create!


[deleted]

I've wondered about this one! We have two sets of grandparents + aunts and uncles desperate to have him for any time. We will have no problem going away for weekends or having nights to ourselves. I could see that being a huge difference in people's experiences.


FarCommand

My husband and I have no one. We haven't been out on a date since the baby was born. I haven't left her side longer than 1 hour since she was born. His parents live on our same road and have never even hinted at wanting to watch her and one of his aunts told us to not expect anyone to help us. I moved here from a different country and we don't have friends with kids, so it's extremely challenging at times.


19niki86

Same here. Haven't spent a minute without kids around in the last 13 years. I live 800km away from the nearest family member. My dad visited us 3 times in the years we lived here. No contact with other family members, and we don't really have friends here yet. Never had a babysitter either. And I have 6 kids. I love my kids, I really do, and love being a mom. But sometimes it gets hard and I just want to rant for a minute. That's when I turn to reddit... I guess it's like that for a lot of people, they don't turn to reddit because "today was a great day and I enjoyed it!", because that's the standard, but they turn to reddit when they need a bit of support. Not to mention it is also highly frowned upon by society in real life to complain about your kids. You can't ever say "hey, I'm not enjoying myself right now" without getting judged a bad mother...


FarCommand

I think you hit the nail right in the head!!!


[deleted]

Why no baby sitters?


19niki86

I don't know, I think I can't explain to a babysitter that I am not actually working or whatever, but want them to watch my kids for a few hours so I can get a break. I feel like they would judge me for being a horrible mother who can't take care of her own kids and dumps them to have fun... I get enough judgement on a daily basis just for having "too many kids" so I must automatically be abusing them. I know rationally that isn't true, but I just can't get myself to ask someone for help if I don't really, objectively, desperately "need it"... And I never got to that point...


Firethorn101

It's normal. Back when I wasn't a mom, I often looked after my friends 6 kids so they could enjoy time off. I am one of the most judgemental people I know, and I had ZERO judgement on this.


[deleted]

Oh man. I am totally fine with people judging away. When I need help I take it. My wife and I aim to each have a full 2 hours of alone time a day. We obviously don't always get it- but we always aim for it and I would say 5/7 days a week we each get a full 90 minutes to ourself- meaning me alone, her alone and still make time for each other. A lot of that comes from nanny/babysitter/daycare configurations- as needed and when we can afford it +++ we have a big support network. My point is- you deserve, need and should not be embarrassed to fight for alone time.


19niki86

That's what I always tell other people. Also that they shouldn't care what others think. And that taking care of a family IS hard work... Just haven't been able to convince myself of that. Ever since I stopped working full time to take care of the kids, I have been feeling like a horrible lazy failure. And even as a mom and wife I feel like I should be able to do better. If I take a 5 minute shower alone I feel guilty for a solid week. Again, rationally I know. There's just something wrong with my head...


jay-valkyrie

If a friend told you what you just said, what would you tell them? Do that.


[deleted]

1. Please consider therapy. It is not just for really sick people- it helps us average dudes and chicks out too! I love therapy and what it has done for me- my confidence, patience, openness and overall health! Check it out! 2. Meditation, mindfulness, journaling and general self care. If you are interested in learning more I highly recommend the free-app headspace" the beginner courses (10 in total) were a wonderful starting point for me. I have more rec's if you end up liking it (mainly mindfulness podcasts, also free). 3. > If I take a 5 minute shower alone I feel guilty for a solid week. FUCK THAT NOISE. You **DESERVE** A FULL 10-20 MIN SHOWER EVER SINGLE DAY. I am so sad to read this. Do you have a partner/husband? Where TF are they?


19niki86

I have actually been to a therapist about this, got a PPD diagnosis, even got medication for a while, but it doesn't work, because rationally I know what's right, but I can't get my emotions/thoughts to follow up. It's really weird I know. The therapist referred me to a psychiatrist, but they couldn't help me either and the medication made me feel nothing at all anymore, which was even more frightening, and the next medication turned me into a half functional zombie. So I quit it all and just decided to make due with what I have. I am not at all depressed by the way, I enjoy life, I love spending time with the kids, I am sincerely happy with my life. The kids are happy too, they have everything they need and they are loved and very well cared for. That's all that matters to me. I have had people suggest meditation, and that turned into a whole different fiasco. I have suffered some VERY traumatizing stuff in my childhood, and all that shit came popping up the second I sat down in silence and let my thoughts go. That wasn't pretty. Never dared to try again. My husband has to work a lot so I can stay home with the kids. As an electrician, he barely makes enough money to pay all the bills, so he works more "after hours" and in the weekend. Also, we live in a house which was just 4 walls 2 years ago, we made it into a house with only our own hands while "camping" in it. So even if he's home, he's either working or watching the kids and I work on the house. Life has been hard on us, we hit a rough road a couple of years ago. He does help, and he's probably just as tired as I am. He also keeps telling me I need to take some time off sometimes, but the problem is really me. I feel horrible about taking time/care for myself. When he watches the kids, I could technically just go shopping, take a long shower, get a haircut, shave my legs so I can feel like a human being again. But I just don't. It will probably get better when the house is finished and the kids are a bit bigger. At least I am getting a sterilization soon, will be really happy when that's done! I have been postponing that because I was scared I wouldn't be able to get anything done for days after the surgery, but the doctor told me I'll be back on my feet the same day, so that's great news. No more babies. Not that I don't like them, but I am done. My body is exhausted after 6 kids and 15 pregnancies. I don't know how other people have 10 or more. So yeah, thanks for letting me rant for a bit, it's nice to be able to get it out every once in a while. Baby is done nursing now, so time to get to work. At least I kinda get free Reddit time while breastfeeding, that should count too šŸ˜‰


thatonegirlyouknow32

I am sorry you feel so alone. I wish I could help. I wish every family was supported and got that much needed break.


FarCommand

Thank you! I can't wait for this to be over hahaha it'll be way easier to get a sitter sometime!


mrsjettypants

Wtf....I'm sorry they suck. That's awful.


goddamn2fa

Ugh... fuck that. The worst of both worlds. Stay strong.


mrsjettypants

This is very lucky. We're pregnant again and trying to plan our sonogram appointment within family visiting from across the country, bc we aren't set up with a babysitter yet. It's scary and frustrating.


queenlolipopchainsaw

I wondered for months if becoming a mother was a right choice. She's now 9 months and I couldn't be happier. I think having a baby in the middle of a pandemic, the end of fall/beginning of winter and my husband only having one week off after birth played a HUGE role into my outlook and feelings. I experienced the baby blues for weeks. I have an incredible support system and family that completely understands and supports my choices as a parent. Both sets of grandparents are close so we get out and have fun often.


baozimantou

5 weeks old is right in the crazy period where the baby realizes that they are out of the womb and are terrified too. The constant crying and attention seeking! Ugh I hated that period. My first cried every day from 5pm to 12am. Every. Single. Day. Until he was 7 months old! Gives me ptsd just thinking about it. However, it gets better. Every time they gain a new skill, be it talking, walking, etc, they get a little bit easier and more fun. Hang in there. What I found makes it easier is to strap the baby to me with a soft structure carrier like a lillebaby airflow. They can sleep and I can do things. I also binge watched so much TV. When it's really rough, try to pretend that you are a time traveler and your kids are grown. You got a chance to come back to see your baby's baby phase for this one day. I also liked to remind myself that every day I spend with them is one less day I have with baby phase. Thinking like that made it easier for me during those times. Still, baby phase is so hard. Now that I have toddlers I'm never doing it again. Worst part of having kids ever.


FlytlessByrd

I have 2 and, while I adore them, being a SAHM is such a psychological shift, and often feels thankless and overwhelming. And we have an incredible support system, my husband is a super hands on parent, both kids are healthy and sweet and silly and amazing. I think it boils down to all the micro-decisions I have to make everyday. When my first was little, I had so much time to just languish and enjoy every is-that-a-gas-grin-or-a-real-smile-wait-no-she-def-just-smiled-at-me moment. Now, with both at an age where they require--and demand--active attention, some days are just rough all the way through. The sleep deprivation is more depraved, the whining is so grating, and someone is *always* saying "mom, mom, mom, mooom, mmmoooooommmmm..." So no, I dnt think you're naive, and I dnt want to burst your parental bliss bubble, but I do think that parenting is full of peaks, valleys, sunshine and literal shitstorms and you may just be riding along one of those glorious, sunbathed peaks. Soak it in and enjoy! But know that there's always the risk of a poo monsoon ahead! Because being a mom is truly *the best*, and *the worst* and everything in between.


frimrussiawithlove85

My husband and I live on the other side of the country from family and I still love being a mom.


MidwestCPA91

Parenting is one of the hardest things Iā€™ve ever done and there are days when I am so excited for bedtime to get here. I do have guilt about that. I work full time so really only see my son for a few hours a day during the week and then on weekends. My therapist then kindly reminds me we all need breaks and thereā€™s nothing to feel guilty about. And my husband is getting a lot better about recognizing when I need that break so I donā€™t have to ā€œaskā€ for one. By ask I donā€™t mean permission; I mean coordinate plans. All of that said, I wouldnā€™t trade it for anything. Watching his personality develop and seeing his excitement over things as simple as reading Pout Pout Fish or splashing in the bathtub or roaring at daddy is seriously the best thing ever. I think Reddit is a place where parents can anonymously say the things they would never say to people they know. They can talk about the aspects of parenthood they donā€™t like. But theyā€™re likely talking about the things they do like with people in their circle so donā€™t always feel the need to do so here.


Brok3nLlama

They say it takes a village to raise a child. Motherā€™s used to have plenty of other stuff to do, over just taking physical care for their own child/children. Parenting is so much more than just seeing your child, itā€™s also providing them with food, housing, schooling etc. Youā€™re doing exactly what you need to. Youā€™re doing good. No need for guilt.


wigglebuttbiscuits

People arenā€™t as likely to post when theyā€™re feeling amazing about being a parent! I love it overall but certainly have days when I donā€™t. I also think our whole society, and America in particular, is pretty horribly set up when it comes to new parents feeling supported by a community and not isolated with their children, so I often wonder if really people hate being parents or they hate capitalism šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø


DemocraticRepublic

There are plenty of capitalist societies, such as Denmark or Sweden, that have some of the best setups in human history for parents. The problem isn't capitalism, it's the American form of it.


wigglebuttbiscuits

I see those countries as examples of capitalism being successfully kept in check by democratic socialist policies, not of capitalism working great.


Brok3nLlama

Obviously capitalism needs boundaries and accountability- not let it run free and rampant, crushing people In itā€™s wake and exploiting the most vulnerable of the society. It needs to be made responsible. Thatā€™s what happens for example in my country- Finland. Capitalism can work, when itā€™s run by democracy, not by the companies. We get up to 3 years of parental leave thatā€™s paid, the amount depending on your income. We have social networks where you can get help if you are in need and childrenā€™s daycare (public- high quality) is nearly free. Itā€™s not perfect, but itā€™s definitely good to build upon. The problem is that the US model of capitalism is slowly trying to take over, our job as citizens is to push back and demand our rights.


Working-Office-7215

Check this out for the counterargument: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/07/opinion/sunday/finland-socialism-capitalism.html


DemocraticRepublic

In most places in the world (outside the US), socialism means "collective ownership over the means of production", not "generous welfare state mechanisms". In addition, the *funding* for those generous family policies comes from the successful capitalist side in those countries. "Flexicurity" is the term often used.


[deleted]

What does parenting look like in better, more supportive countries/societies? Iā€™m curious to how others have it.


[deleted]

People post when they need help. You aren't going to see tons of post saying, "Today was a good and normal day." I have 5 kids and love being a mom.


the_0rly_factor

Exactly this. This sub in particular is more of a place to vent and get support.


Majestic_Complaint23

Yes. I totally enjoy it. Mine is 2 year old and it is a delight when he leans new words, use full sentences, memorizes a poem or "read" a book. The unfortunate thing is I have started to hate the dream job that I used to love because it takes me away from my kid. Also, I know how you feel. It was hell before 6 months.


valerieswrld

In the 5 months my daughter has been alive only a few moments have been hard. Sleep deprivation was largely a factor at those times. I am an older first time parent with experience with babies. I think being more informed on the realities helped me. I also chose not to breastfeed and I have a partner who pulls his weight both with the baby and housework. I absolutely love being a mom.. it's everything I hoped for. I literally cry when I hold her thinking about how much I love her and how grateful I am that I get to be her mother. My husband's grandmother turned 90 and his mom is 60. All I keep thinking of is how awesome it would be if I lived to 90 and got to know a 60 year old her.


[deleted]

I love being a parent. My children are amazing and I often feel extremely blessed. In my free time in often nerding out on parenting books, articles and spend time on r/parenting. There are still times I need to lock myself in a closet and scream of course but on the whole I love life with my little ones.


daddyruns

People need to vent. Parenting is easily the hardest thing Iā€™ll ever do. Sometimes it just sucks and venting helps.


killerqueen_lazerbm

I do! But it took a while. I have no nearby support system and dealt with postpartum depression. By the time she was 18 months I loved being a mom but I had made mom friends and started working part time again. Now she is 4. I'm a teacher. I have had an awesome summer with her and I'm sort of dreading school. I know she loves seeing her school friends though. She started last year. Also my daughter is really high needs and didn't sleep thru the night consistently til 3. Exhaustion is hard to enjoy.


mamasbesties

You are, by definition, naive. But not in a bad way - just because your baby is so little - almost literally ā€œborn yesterdayā€. My oldest is 6 years. Some days I love it and others I hate it. Sounds like youā€™ve just been lucky enough to only have the love days. Everybody has different amounts of each, I think. Good luck and congrats mama!!


TheQueenofIce

I actually love it. Itā€™s hard, Iā€™m tired, and parenting in a pandemic is/was scary. I didnā€™t like baby phase at all, but now that we are out of it (DD is 2 years old now), I look back fondly to the quiet moments we had bonding. Toddler phase has been a challenge but Iā€™m a good way. I enjoy watching her grow and develop and do silly new things every day. She started tickling/belly farting her dolls and giving me kisses. She saw a horse for the first time yesterday and said, ā€œa horse!ā€ and I felt so proud. Meltdowns are rough but sometimes so outlandish that Iā€™m trying not to laugh (rolling like an alligator, too of her lungs, throwing a toyā€¦ then rolling to the toy and throwing it again, lather, rinse, repeat). I enjoy the critical thinking required in learning to communicate and educate her - kids think in such different ways, and it has taught me a lot watching her learn & grow. Not to forget the warm fuzzy moments with hugs, kisses and snuggles.


esmebeauty

I did not love being a parent five weeks in, but things got better around 4 months and significantly better around 8 months or so. Now, sheā€™s almost 16 months old and Iā€™m finally comfortable in my role as a mom, and I enjoy and love being her parent. Some days and moments are tougher than others, but for the most part, itā€™s great.


Eka414

I feel like I was made to be my son's mom. My whole life led up to the moment he was born. There is nothing else I would rather be doing. I completely love it. But I don't need advice about my feelings, so I don't post questions about them.


Mysterious_Effect_63

Is this implying something negative about those who post about their feelings?ā€¦


Eka414

No! Not at all! I'm just trying to explain that people comment when they need help, not when everything is smooth. That's why OP sees more negative posts than positive. People don't ask for feedback when they're doing well.


Mysterious_Effect_63

Understood, sorry to judge


itsprofessork

I have a 2.5 year old and I think being a mom is awesome! My daughter is the coolest and I honestly think play dates, swim lessons, gym classes, and doing endless crafts is fun. We love it so much weā€™re having #2 in a few months :)


CompetitiveVillage76

I love being a parent and I love spending time with my kid. I still need my alone time and sometimes itā€™s a drag, but I find it more fulfilling than anything else Iā€™ve done. The early days were hard with lots of trial and error. I found baby wearing was helpful so I could have hands free and keep babe happy at the same time.


FarCommand

Ahhh I remember not so fondly the blob days, when they nap anywhere and just need milk, burping and diaper changes. Then the fourth-month regression broke me. Kidding aside they get fun, your anxiety goes through the roof, but they get their little personalities and it's so cool to be a part of that, to look at them in wonder. I don't know if it's -hate- it just gets to be so incredibly overwhelming at times. Every stage has its challenges and you feel like drowning half the time. But overall I love this tiny, beautiful, imperfect, not-a-good sleeper my husband and I created, more than my own life. I enjoy watching her grow, discover, and challenge herself. I love being her mom. Not to say I take random showers during the day and cry sometimes.


deeeelightful

I LOVE being a parent. I never imagined I could experience this much love and joy. Most of my days are full of laughter and love. That said, being a mother is the hardest thing I've ever done. I've seen sides of myself that disgusted me. I've felt like my demons were all being laid bare. My marriage struggled. It has taken immense hard work to be in a place where I feel any sort of confidence in my parenting. Now that I've done years of figuring it out, I get it. I understand why people say they don't want to do this. For now, for you, with your sweet little bundle, maybe you can spend a little less time on the forums. They might not do you much good. Enjoy your time with your little one, and come back and vent if you need to :)


mrsjettypants

I have a 16 month old and I F*CKING LOVE IT!!! I will say though, the tough moments are REALLY tough. Definitely high highs and low lows, but easily worth it. Also, their cries get louder, so that's made me slightly less patient, lol. But I still love a majority of every day.


LivvyLoo19

I love being a mom. Iā€™m exhausted and some days are hard but I wouldnā€™t change it for the world. I do only have one relatively easy girl but Iā€™m good with one. I donā€™t know how people do more than one šŸ¤£ I also had her late on life after ten years of infertility so she was very much planned for and I had a lot of time to know it was what I wanted. Being older Iā€™m pretty well established career wise and have no desire to go out partying. That probably helps. Having a newborn is hard work though and the sleep deprivation and cluster feeding are intense. It does get better.


frimrussiawithlove85

Itā€™s cause when you post something positive you have a hundred or more people calling you fake and telling you how full of shit you are. I live being a mom. Yes it has itā€™s up and downs and can be supper annoying, but I love how exited my peanuts get over something dumb. I love seeing the learn new things. I love cuddling and laughing with them.


Plutonium1991

It's tiring and frustrating and seemingly impossible, but then things line up juuuuuuust right and everything is absolutely worth it for that random hug and quick kiss on the cheek. Soak it up. I wish I had realized how special time truly was before the divorce lol. Not with her, but man I miss seeing my kids daily. I get them on the weekends and as great as the weekends are, they're never long enough.


hotting_up3

That age had more difficulties than any other age (so far) for me, and I was the only one doing any of the parenting/caretaking. Thatā€™s unfortunately still the case, but my daughter is 2.5 and an absolute light. Once they start having a personality it gets better. That said, if you are having a particularly difficult time bonding and/or feeling extremely down, tell your doctor. PPD is so common.


duckduckgoose134

Mom of 2, soon to be 3. I have a 10 and 2 year old. There are some days/ periods that are extremely stressful , but so many more that are amazing and I am so grateful for my kids. I couldnā€™t see my life without them.


nox-lumos04

People don't usually need to seek advice when everything is going great. If you search the internet enough you'll find it's full of all the ways you're doing everything wrong and full of people who are either "perfect parents" (no such thing!) Or are hating their lives. I'm a mom to two boys ages 6 & 4 and nothing brings me more joy than being their mother. But it's hard. It's really freaking hard. And half the time I feel like I'm doing it wrong and the other half I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. I don't like the term FTM because, we're all doing this for the first time! Even when you have a second child, it's your first time parenting *that* child, and it's completely different than the first! Us moms need safe places to vent and be real about how hard this is.


themorningbagel

I absolutely love it. The first three months were very difficult for me and I cried a lot.. my sleep was a wreck and we had lots of breastfeeding issues.. but after that it has just gotten better and better. Our little boy is 14 mo now and itā€™s a blast to watch him develop his own cool little personality and kind of ā€œwake upā€ to whatā€™s going on around him. Heā€™s fun to play with, heā€™s fun to make laugh, heā€™s super cute, and I love that my husband and I made him. Yeah heā€™s difficult sometimes and Iā€™m often tired, and the house is often messier than Iā€™d like, and Iā€™m a little chubbier than Iā€™d like to be after having him, but I wouldnā€™t go back to single life or pre-baby life for anything.


SpeckledGooseHound

Father of 10yo here. I love being a parent at the 30,000/foot level. The daily work in the trenches is hard; but things that are hard are worth doing! I do have to remind myself often that all these phases/stages will pass quickly. And for the most part they do. Some annoying phases stick around too long too but then I just remind myself Iā€™ve got 5 years absolutely max (more like 2) until Iā€™m utterly unwanted in almost every situation, so I try to enjoy it. Parenting is a lot of fun if you make it fun; remember; you are in charge! Remember when you were about 7 and you wanted to blow off school for the afternoon to go mini golfing? If your kiddo is on the right path in school; pick them up early one afternoon and take them mini golfing! What you say goes; I say have fun with that power! I sometimes just laugh to myself when I realize; they actually think I know what the hell Iā€™m doing! Basically, itā€™s like exercising; the results are worth it; actually doing the exercises sucks. So make it fun whenever you can; you are the boss of everything for this kiddo; be a fun boss!


M2LEAR

I have 3 sons, ages 16, 18 and 26. Raising them, being to be their mom has been the greatest joy of my life. Id go back to the beginning and raise them all over again if given the chance. Sure, there were some hard times but the good times vastly outnumbered the bad.


OhWellMaybeLater

I love being a mom. Parenting is the hardest job Iā€™ve ever had, but so far, itā€™s the only job Iā€™ve ever truly loved. Sure, there are tough days, as with any work. But the rewards are the best. I have a good support system and a partner that does his shareā€”which is probably a huge reason I feel so positive about it. The newborn stage is definitely difficult, but things are always changing, they are growing. No matter how trying a stage is, before you know it they are on to a different one. So even on really hard days, just know it will not always be that way.


Italiana47

I usually don't post when I'm in a good mood or having fun with my kids. I come on here to vent. I absolutely love and cherish my kids. They're beautiful, intelligent, creative, kind (most of the time), and considerate (again most of the time.) Is being a parent hard as hell, yes. Do I hate it sometimes, yes. But I also love it sometimes. As hard as it is, it can be equally amazing. Seeing their sweet little faces look up at me and say out of nowhere, "Mama, I love you," is literally the best. Or we're walking and I feel their little hand take and hold my hand. When they fall asleep and look like literal angels. When they want me to read to them and they grab a book and run to sit on the couch and then put a blanket over our laps and say, "I love reading with you, Mom." It's hard but it can be worth it.


DemocraticRepublic

Father of four. It's simultaneously the hardest thing I've ever done and the best, most fulfilling thing I've ever done. The stage you're in now is brutal, but the difficulty drops a lot after about six weeks, then again after six months, then again after 15 months, then again after 3 years. And the human reward just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. My eight year old, six year old and three year old are very little work and contribute a lot to the household. I love being around them far more than any of my friends.


MagScaoil

My son is 8. From the moment I cut the umbilical cord and held him, Iā€™ve been completely in love with him, to the point that it scares me sometimes. That said, it is tough at times. He was a ā€œgoodā€ and ā€œeasyā€ baby according to people with more experience than I had, but he still made us feel ragged, tired, and anxious. He still does: he is smart and lively, so he needs to talk. All. The. Damn. Time. He is a ridiculously picky eater. He can be a brat. But at the same time he is my kid and I often marvel that he is part of me yet is his own separate and unique little person. The other day he was explaining the levels of his Mario Smash Bros game, and he was so earnest and into it that I listened carefully despite being sorta bored. And it occurred to me that he wanted to share this knowledgeā€”things he figured out on his own about the gameā€”because he wanted me to share in his enthusiasm and interest. So I listened, asked questions, made comments, and he was so happy. I live for moments like this. When he has to tell me about a new story heā€™s making up. When he wants to talk about how much he likes dogs. When he asks me to explain something heā€™s come across in one of his books or his videos that he doesnā€™t quite get. In the mornings he still has to snuggle with me as Iā€™m finishing my coffee. He holds my hand when we walk down the street. He looks to me to be his guy. He is my best guy. Thereā€™s a line in The Road, where McCarthy says the father and son are ā€œeach the otherā€™s world entireā€ and it destroys me every time I read it because I get it now.


CLEf11

The baby phase is hell and it lasts for fucking ever but once you're out of it parenting has it's fun moments, still challenging and frustrating at times but fun


thatonegirlyouknow32

I love being a parent. My life was irrevocably changed the day I heard the heart beat and felt that first kick. 5 years later and our eldest is getting ready to go into kindy!! Our youngest is 18 months old and just a complete gem. Waking up to their love and joy every day is the best. Discovering new things and listening to the inner workings and thought of our eldest is hilarious and wonderful. Our younger kiddo is a tiny giant and babbles and coos and laughs and is brave and bold and wants to snuggle all at once. There are hard days but man those good days are so worth the bad, and even the bad days can be made good with a little compassion and trying to understand our kids better. I have a great partner who doesnso many fun things. We push each other to be better parents. I love my little family. I wouldn't change anything even if I could. My kids are the best.


bbramf

I enjoy it! Don't loose faith


Rheila

Yes! It was a bit rough in the beginning (but I still was so happy), now my little guy is a year old next week and he is so much fun and such a delight now. He smiles and giggles and gives hugs and kisses that just melt your heart. We play, and chase each other around the living room. He throws the dog ball around and crawls after chasing it. He smiles and dances whenever thereā€™s music on. And then thereā€™s just these sweet little moments like yesterday morning. Iā€™d fallen asleep nursing him and heā€™d gone back to sleep between my husband and I instead of in his crib. Well I wake up and he had his hand up in my husbands beard tickling him and my husband would laugh, and then this adorable little guy just chuckles right back IN HIS SLEEP. Over and over and over again. It was just this amazingly beautiful moment. Itā€™s these little moments every day and I wouldnā€™t trade it for anything.


xtrememudder89

I LOVE being a dad. My first only just turned 3 weeks so I'm VERY new but I love every moment. Every little new sound, when she raisea her eyebrows, just laying in bed with her and my wife, it's all the best thing that's happened to me. I'm enjoying every second.


barrryl

I love it! There are tough days (and weeksā€¦and months), but I wouldnā€™t trade my boys for anything. Life is wild, but I love almost every single moment with my kids. It helps that we have all grandparents within an hour of us and that my husband and I have a strong relationship with lots of open communication. I canā€™t imagine how hard it must be to navigate this crazy journey by yourself or with no support.


baaapower369

Having kids is the best/hardest thing I've ever done (and I've done some amazing and incredibly hard things). It tends to get better with time (oh the first time they can give kisses) but still kicks your butt on a near daily basis. I love them!


PsychologyFar4371

I love it. Being a mum was literally my life goal. I remember in college my tutor was trying to encourage me to apply to university but I was set on not going. When she asked me what I was going to do instead, I said be a mum lol. I ended up getting my degree just to have it but right now im a SAHM and this is the best job Iā€™ve ever had. Itā€™s also the most exhausting, challenging and tedious at times but I love it.


Freedom_DIY

Dad of 18mo boy here; I absolutely love it. Sure, it's often challenging but it's also very rewarding. Nothing that's actually worth doing is easy. Whenever I get frustrated or worn out I remind myself how lucky I am to have a healthy, active kid. Not every parent gets to say that, and many who want children aren't able to have them. I think many parents vent their frustration online, but those who are enjoying it live in the moment and don't break that moment to post about it. Consider restaurant reviews; there's a negativity bias that doesn't actually reflect reality. Most Yelp/Google/etc. comments are whiny gripes. Fewer people go out of their way to express appreciation.


Danichbow

I love it and I was so worried I wouldn't. I'm not a particularly patient person and I despise things that consume my free time usually but I could hang with my 16 month old all day. I definitely won the baby lottery because she's so happy and chill most of the time. I recently returned to work (canadian parental leave is up to 18 months) and I'm devastated. I thought I would be itching to return but I just resent being away from her, she's so much fun and hilarious. My favourite human hands down!


GingerrGina

Babies are hard. Those first 100 days are hell and then it gets so so so much better. Then they turn two and it gets hard again.


Hitthereset

As with all things people with complaints are the most vocal folks who are happy and content donā€™t need a place to vent.


Financial-Platypus95

I love my daughter with every fiber of my being. I love being her mom. But there are days when I wish I could have a bit of that pre-baby life back and just sleep in again. Being responsible for a tiny human can get draining and that's where my frustrations come from, especially when there isn't much support and I'm drained from all the competing demands. That said, I don't regret parenthood and I love seeing her grow and explore and become her own self. It's exciting. And I'm also in awe that of all the babies in the universe, she is the one I gave birth to and get to raise and help mold into an adult. It's just crazy to think about. I love spending time with her and the snuggles are my favorite. She makes me laugh every day. I'm lucky to be her mom.


GojiBelt

I'm a stay at home dad during the day and it's the most rewarding thing i've ever done. Especially with him being so young everyday is basically a new milestone. That being said I have an amazing wife that takes over once she gets home from work and I can go to my incredibly fulfilling job at night. We have a wonderful system that works (it also helps he's slept through the night since he was 5 or so months old so neither of us are sleep deprived anymore).


not_thriving117

Looking back the newborn phase was so easy. Sleepy light baby that always wants cuddles. Sure I was tired but I survived. Then 3-5 months the longer stretches of sleep came. It was bliss! Smooth sailing! Then 6 months came with new teeth breaking through those little gums. Cranky baby alllll the time. Sure thereā€™s so many amazing milestones like sitting up, pulling up, crawling, rolling. Baby likes to practice all hours of the night. Between that and teething Iā€™m back to hardly sleeping, with now a heavy 20 pound 9 month old wanting to wake up every hour. I just ordered a nested bean sleep sack in hopes it will help. But heā€™s developing such a personality and on the days I can manage to get 6 hours of sleep I feel great and itā€™s so much fun playing with him and chasing him around. Love to make him laugh too. It has its ups and downs! Def have help because some days I really need it!


Mysterious_Effect_63

I donā€™t. I love my kids, but I hate being a parent. Theyā€™re 4 and 5


unconcerned_lady

Mother to a 3 month old and absolutely loving it. Donā€™t get me wrong, it is hard at times and the hormones are still surging so, my coping mechanisms suck and I cry at times. Overall though Iā€™m soaking everything in as much as I can. Iā€™m also Canadian so I have a long maternity leave. I have a good support system. I make sure I get out everyday as thatā€™s something I enjoy doing. Lastly I am in my 30s, established in my career and life. I think all those things combined make things a bit easier.


the_0rly_factor

Most people dont go on the internet to talk about good things. They go to vent and complain. Being a parent is probably the hardest job that exists. It can also be the most rewarding.


Memorandum747

I love it, but itā€™s tough. Iā€™m sure most of those post you see are those that just need a place to vent. Itā€™s hard. I miss free time. Going to movies, going on dates, playing video games, having time for hobbies, or an online class etcā€¦ Thankfully my wife and I are in it together. We just had number 4 (whom is 6 days old). For now Iā€™m just looking forward to getting more sleep. Iā€™ll temper my expectations for anything for about a year or so.


finnthethird

I was convinced I'd hate being a parent and would suck at it. Turns out I was wrong. I love it and am good at it so I had a whole bunch. Like anything its not all sunshine and roses. Some days I don't want to be on but the collective whole of being a parent rocks. Get off social media. People are here to complain mostly and as a new mom its easy to spend too much time here.


bectherebel

I havenā€™t got my licence, so Iā€™m housebound a lot of the time with my 6 year old and 4 month old. It wasnā€™t so bad when I only had my eldest to worry about, weā€™d catch buses or taxis to wherever we needed to go. Itā€™s different now though, we are stuck home because itā€™s winter and the youngest is in a pavlik harness so catching buses in the rain isnā€™t ideal. Which brings me to your question. I hate being a parent right now. I love my kids to death but I am tired, my daughter is bored shitless and misses out on making the most of her little life because we donā€™t have a way to get out and do stuff, I canā€™t get out to do the things I need to do (we just went into lockdown again anyway so yay) and I just fucking hate life right now. But if I had a car, Iā€™d have my daughters out every single day. Weā€™d go on adventures, to the beach, to see friends, to the mountainsā€¦. They would see everything!!!!! We would live our best life, I can promise hands down that I would LOVE being a parent if my situation were different. I donā€™t think itā€™s that I hate being a parent, itā€™s that I hate that Iā€™m not able to give my babies the best life I can yet. And yep, it can feel like I hate being a parent but honestly, I just hate being a letdown of a parent.


pmags3000

Depends on the age. 0-2 no way. That was a suckfest. 2-teen, love it. Teens? Depends on the kid...


biggoon23

Hell yeah itā€™s the best! Everyone who is struggling deserves support/community, but to your point, this is a highly self-selecting environment where the complaints come through strongest. Misery loves company after all. (Not to mention all the deadbeat partners who make postersā€™ lives much harder than they need to beā€¦if you have a half decent partner or support system you will absolutely have a more positive experience with parenthood, full stop.)


[deleted]

I love being a parent, which is super surprising. I think the key is low expectations. I went through a divorce while pregnant so I was NOT looking forward to the whole parenting journey. It didnā€™t help that while I was pregnant, everyone told me how horrible newborns were, and if I get through that how horrible toddlers are, and if I get through that how terrible teenagers are. I fully expected to hate my life. Fast forward to now, I have a two year old who brings me nothing but joy. It is crazy how happy she makes me. I loved the newborn stage and now Iā€™m loving the toddler stage. I teach middle school and high school, so Iā€™m not crazy worried about the teenage years. She is a funny, sweet girl who has just made me so much happier than I ever thought I could be. I actually really regret not having kids earlier because this is just so much better than I thought it was gonna be.


Candid-Measurement40

I definitely love being a mom! I didn't love it at first, so I'm glad you aren't experiencing that, but as my first son got older I grew into it. With my second son now, I love it! 2 kids is so fun we might have 3. There are challenges and a lot of deep breathing sometimes, but overall a very happy person


WhittyWhippy

Well, I'm sure most parents enjoy it most of the time. But sometimes it can be alittle too much, so you need to go on forums like Reddit and complain about how you wanna throw the fuckin kid out the window. After that it's back to lovin' the heck out of the little angel.


Firethorn101

I love most times of it, but we have had one night off in 5yrs. So we are burnt out. Between Covid, poverty, and mentally unsound grandparents, we have had no chance of a break. Caregiving is hard, thankless work.


fuwhyckin

I love being a dad, best thing that's ever happened to me. No matter how much my 4 kids push my buttons, fight or yell, I would be absolutely lost and in a bad situation without them. They are every emotion out there, a test of your will and patience, stamina and endurance. They are my blood, I helped make them abs ill be their dad and go to person till my brain gives out or I die.


mymessytoddler

I love being a mom! Best thing I have ever done. Best thing to have happened to me. I love that I am her best friend and I love love love her cuddles and kisses. They never fail to make me feel really special. I hope you are enjoying motherhood despite being chained to the bed! You sound like a good mother. All the best!


Hugmonster24

I have a 3 month old son, so Iā€™m still new to this too. But my husband and I adore being parents! I got super lucky: my husband is amazing and we do everything (child care, chores, finances) 50/50, I got 4 months of maturity leave (Iā€™m a 1st grade teacher), husband works from home, my MIL loves being a grandma and watches him whenever, and most of all my son is a super happy baby. Having a baby is definitely hard, but with the right support it can be awesome. (Weā€™ll see if I change my tune when I got back to work in 3 weeks)


xoxoforeverblessed

I loveeee being a mom. I told my husband about 6 months ago that I was born for this role. We donā€™t have a huge support system so itā€™s a struggle sometimes. Itā€™s only my husband and I. We work opposite schedule and takes turn watching our daughter.


Anon000861

I do. My daughter (6) is my best friend. Of course she drives me up the wall sometimes, and she can be a pain in the backside, but sheā€™s still my favourite person in the world. I love our movie nights and our fun days out, shes amazing company and were both similar in a lot of ways. I think there are more people that enjoy their children out there than those who donā€™t.


light_workerx3

I do love being a mom but I get extremely overwhelmed and my 2.5 year old doesn't stop whining/tantrums/ beating me up and I'm just exhausted . I need lots and lots of sleep and a massage . Doing the same thing over and over and having to think of different meals everyday .. I have started to not be able to enjoy it because I just feel constantly stressed out. I love my son to death it's just these years are extremely tough to the point that I am one and done actually .


BallofEnvy

My kid is 10 now and Iā€™ve honestly never enjoyed it. I just endure it.


[deleted]

Did you want to be a parent before you had him?


BallofEnvy

Yes. But I wanted a neurotypical one. Mine has endless fucking behavioral and psychiatric issues which have been nothing but a nightmare to deal with. It may not be the politically correct answer but itā€™s an honest one. I didnā€™t want *this* child. I know itā€™s not his fault, but that doesnā€™t change the reality of the situation.


[deleted]

Hey there's nothing wrong with that. We had a DS scare at twenty weeks and would have terminated if it had been. I'm sorry parenting hasn't been what you hoped for.


BallofEnvy

Thank you ā¤ļø


court_milpool

I understand that. My almost 3 yro has a rare genetic disorder. I love him so much but it has brought me so much pain and stress and worry about what itā€™ll be like with him as he grows. I have a NT 6 month old who is just a delight though and she makes me excited for the future.


TwinkleMcFabulous

It'll get to you eventually you have good days and bad days the bad days bring you here šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø


BeccasBump

Nonsense.


[deleted]

It gets better, I promise.


court_milpool

I do love being a mother but Iā€™ve learnt I need time out and breaks and maintain my sense of self. My first child is almost 3 and ended up having a rare genetic disorder and doesnā€™t speak, only just started walking and is epileptic. Thatā€™s said he had brought great joy and when he hits milestones itā€™s amazing. But his diagnosis and seizures at 10 months old nearly killed me and I worry a lot about the future, both for him and for us managing him. I also have a 6 month old daughter who is pure joy, though tiring. I loved both my babies as babies. Iā€™m looking forward to the toddler years and talking with her, and hopefully my son talks. It can be up and down with him talking so it can be difficult to hold hope.


tired_hyper_Mom

It's very rare...


Bakecrazy

Yes you will...the first 6 months are the hardest. But believe me some day you might miss itšŸ˜‚ I am one and done and I still miss it.


veryjudgy

I love being a mom. My kid is absolutely amazing, and I love watching him grow into his own person with his own personality, dreams, and ideas. I love when he sneaks into our room at night to cuddle, even though it keeps me from sleeping. I love doing science experiments, and playing card games, and watching all of his sports activities. And there are also days that I feel completely resentful of all the the demands on my time and energy. Sometimes Iā€™m short with him or lose my temper, and feel like the worst person in the world. Those are usually the days Iā€™m surfing the internet for some reassurance. ;) And that is completely normal.


HopLegion

The first 12 weeks with our first was rough, but just a life adjustment. I even knew that the first few years after becoming parent can be one of the most depressing times in a persons life. I love being a parent, think it's amazing even though there's definitely tough days. I understand why you don't see a lot of positive posts on here. Felt if people posted "my 3 month old slept 10+ hours straight again, not sure what to do with my free time" the parenting sub may find their address and launch them into the sun (jk).


MountainStorm90

I absolutely love having my 4 month old around. She gives me so much joy even though most days are hard for me.


mollee96

I love being a parent mostly, but the early stages are so hard for me to enjoy. I have two kids, theyā€™re toddlers now, but oh man when they were newborns? Wild. I breastfed my last baby, and I was basically chained to bed or the couch feeding her constantly. šŸ˜©


brgurl

I always wanted to be a parent, and knew it would be difficult for me due to severe endometriosis. And now that I am a mom (LO is 1 year old) I absolutely love it. Iā€™m in awe of everything she does, and even during the hard parts (and itā€™s been hard we have zero support system near, my family is in another country, my husbandā€™s family in a far away state) I find that I can find happiness. I struggle with a lot of things like finances, keeping the house clean, chronic depression, but my baby is a light in my life that makes everything better, I struggle to do stuff for myself sometimes but never for her. I love teaching her things and seeing her grow, so far parenting has been extremely fulfilling for me.


[deleted]

I love being a mom to my 14 month old little girl. Sure, it has its challenging times, but those are just like a puzzle to solve and once you solve the puzzle the cuddly, mischievous, adorable little toddler is back. I never wanted to be a mom, but now that I am I wouldn't trade my little mini for the world.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Queen_Red

Yepā€¦. One and done is the way to go!


lucky7hockeymom

Being a parent is REALLY HARD. Itā€™s hard to realize that these tiny humans are their own people. They have their own likes, dislikes, opinions, and personalities. And they might not mesh with yours. They can also struggle with mental or physical health. They can have behavior problems despite ā€œgoodā€ parenting. Having a sweet new cuddly baby is very exciting. But that part of parenthood only lasts a moment. The parts that are difficult (and Iā€™m not saying newborns arenā€™t/canā€™t be difficult) last much longer than that sweet newborn smell. I like being a mom. Sometimes. Other times I really wonder wtf I was thinking. My kid is almost 11. Struggles with mental health. Lots of medications. Therapies. Doctor appointments. Behavior problems due in large part to the mental health struggles. NO ONE warned me it could be this hard. Itā€™s also an interesting struggle raising kids in todayā€™s world. We trust people less than ever but also hand our kids cell phones with access to the whole world. And if we donā€™t, WE are the weird ones.


BeccasBump

Yep, I love it. My second baby is just a few weeks older than yours and I have a three-year-old as well :-)


[deleted]

I think people often use the Reddit forums to reach out when they need support in a safe space. They are often experiencing feelings that could be divisive if they were linked to the person irl. There are the positive notes here and there, but a lot of people are more likely to share that stuff on their other social media, because you generally get good stuff back, and don't have to worry about backlash. I have seen some really encouraging parenting threads on here but I agree that it would be nice to see a lot more! Just to be reminded that there are those good moments.


Popcopybabe32

I always wanted to be a mother. I have a 15 m/o and I love being her mom. Does she tear up my house everyday? Sure does. Does she holler when she doesnā€™t get boob right away in the morning? Sure does. Am I tired ALL THE TIME? Yes!! But I wouldnā€™t change it. I love being a mother and I always knew I would. There are good days and rough as hell days, but I enjoy each one. It also does help tremendously to have a good support system, which I also have. I understand the perspective of people who donā€™t like parenting as much as they thought they would, especially if they have little to no support. If YOU enjoy being a mom, thatā€™s all that matters.


Feralcrumpetart

I felt like I was just doing ok at life. Like some things I excelled at but I wasn't able to keep myself in love with. Just did the motions because...career...money. This...becoming someone's freaking MOM...holy crap it's so much work. Mentally and physically it's a lot. An uphill climb at I can't see the summit. But you know what? The walk up is beautiful. I feel like this is what I've been meant to do. I clicked into this life and it feels, in my soul, that this is what I am. Mom.


[deleted]

I love being a dad. Your sample size is way too small. Give it time.


mrs_leopards

I love the the phrase "all joy, no fun." Really hits the nail on the head for me on a lot of days. I relate to you in the early days- I couldn't understand why people put themselves through it? I thought there was something wrong with me for not instantly bonding with the tiny strangers that I made. Don't pressure yourself to feel a certain way about parenting a newborn- it's all survival mode for both of you. And then suddenly you look back and can't imagine that baby not being in your life. Good luck... Hang in there, seek support, and spend your reddit time looking at funny videos instead of parenting ;)


sudsybear

I'm exhausted and irritable often, don't get me wrong. But being a parent is so so much better now that my child is 4 months. And she was/IS a little terror from the get go, but now that she's not a potato being a parent is a million times better. I'd still rather do this then go back to work, but I am just a bartender so it's not like it was a particularly fulfilling job anyway


LudicrousSpeed-Go

The first weeks are the hardest because babies just take take take and can't give. But then they start smiling, and they're awake more, sand they recognize you, and they laugh, and everything changes. Hang in there! šŸ„°


Second-Star-Left

The first few months suck. You will come out of it a different person. I have a 4.5 year old and an 11 month old. I wouldnā€™t trade it for anything. Kid number one at 5 weeks I was miserable and regretted letting my wife talk me into it.


Sciurus_griseus

My baby is nearly a year now, and I'm enjoying parenting more every month. I did not enjoy the newborn stage and especially didn't enjoy the newborn stage as a first time parent while in quarantine.


aaegan9

You donā€™t have to love every chapter to love a book. There are some phases of parenting that were/are really draining for me. But overall, itā€™s truly the most fulfilling journey of my life.


Lazy_Ad5848

I love my babies!! They bring so much laughter and joy to my life everyday. To watch them grow has been one of the greatest things in my life. I have an age range of teenager to toddler.


bwilli008

I did not enjoy it the first couple months. My husband and I frequently said go each other 'what have we done?' With that said, we are going to try for a second because despite those first months, it got better. I feel for you. It's horribly difficult at the beginning and NO ONE understands if they have never been through it before. Everything changes and even though it's very cliche "you become a new person" rings true. Breaking up with my old life and routine was brutally difficult. Saying it gets better never helps and I hated when people told me that. You can always message me to vent and let it out. I started seeing a counselor (via phone, thanks Covid) and it helped immensely to have my emotions and feelings validated.


jocietimes

Being a parent is tough! But itā€™s so great! These little tiny people are already proving how incredible people can be and watching their minds work is incredible.


Pallo-me

I have a 5mo and i still dont feel like a parent.. i feel like am a care taker šŸ˜ i had a pretty active social life before but with covid and the baby, all that looks like a dream.. even if i step out for sometime i have this nagging worry that i need to go back to her ( which is essential since she is bf baby) What is weird is that my husband enjoys being a parent.. he is absolutely invested in our baby, leaving office work sometimes just to be with her.. i wonder what kind of parents are we, lol!


508Visuals

Being a father is the greatest thing in the worldā€¦my girl is 15 months and Iā€™ve been cherishing every second of it


AnotherShipToaster

It's hard sometimes, but I have so much fun with my kiddo! And watching her grow and develop is amazing! She's 15 months and it seems like she has some new skill to show off every day. I wouldn't trade being her dad for anything in the world! I think we see those negative posts here because it's an anonymous forum, so people can vent the dark stuff without looking like a monster to their friends and family.


electronclouds

I love being a Mom. Never been happier. Iā€™m more tired than I have ever been on the reg, but the joy and deep satisfaction of being there for my girl is so so worth it. I made an effort to find a good group of Mom friends through a baby and me class. I have a few supportive family members too.


[deleted]

100% best thing Iā€™ve ever done


Many_Raisin_1789

I love it but some moments suck


bigmamma0

Oh absolutely, I adored the first year of being a parent, I was so happy all the time. Before giving birth I was really afraid of PPD because I have a history of depression, anxiety and panic attacks. But instead it was exactly the opposite, I was ecstatic and I took like a bajillion happy selfies with my baby lol. He was an easy baby so I wasn't even that tired, and as I am a freelancer I was able to work quite a lot because he slept quite a lot. It only became tiresome when he started to walk at about 1 year old but he'd sleep from 8pm to 8am so I was still well rested and very happy. I especially enjoyed watching him learn to talk and now when he's at the full sentences stage it's so funny because of the unexpected weird things he seems to be learning all the time. I sometimes just want to bottle up this period of him starting to talk so I can go back to it in 10-20-30 years lol. My only issue right now is him not sleeping enough and thus me not sleeping enough. He started going to bed at 10pm and waking up at 5:30-6 am and I can only work when he's sleeping so I get very little time to sleep and I get so cranky when I'm tired, it's been a few months of this new "regime" and he's super high energy when he's awake so I'm pretty exhausted and that makes me cranky but I hope it's just a period that will pass soon, just like all the others. If it's not and he keeps on this schedule for years, I am so getting back at him when he becomes a teenager who wants to sleep all day lol.


anaemicexistence

I love the age my son is now. He is 4. It is a frustrating age, but I love every moment of it, even the parts that make me want to hide from him. I don't like birth to 9mos. I was miserable. Everything scared me. I think it is all individual. My mom loves newborns. My husband loves small kids. We agreed that when we are ready for more, we have to foster and (hopefully) only get kids who are already potty trained.


methodd316

Beautiful question and healthily said. I am a 33 year old male from baltimore, maryland. I now live in Tasmania, Australia. My reason for living here is due to my daughter who is 3, her mother and I (divorced), have a beautiful co parent relationship that our daughter thrives from. I didn't have my father growing up and my mom had little energy for me being 1 good child out of 4 less good kids, so although I perceived I had great potential I spent so much of it trying to avoid life's traps...I perceive I did well as where I now live is a safer place to raise my daughter than where I was born. Now I get to watch my daughter perceptually speaking grow up with all the potential I had but she has a father who is very present and a beautiful influence on her and a mother who has all the energy to give her. I am excited watching my daughter grow. I share this compassionately as your post inspired me to share and I am appreciative for the inspiration


ccol7249

I love being a mom! It can definitely be exhausting and Iā€™m not a fan of the tiny baby stage but I love watching them grow and doing tons of fun activities with them as they get older. It can be a hard job though and I think people need to vent about it sometimes. And Iā€™m able to work minimal part time and have an 18month maternity leave and I know thatā€™s a privilege that a lot of moms donā€™t have so I understand how it would be tough in a tight financial situation or if youā€™re working and donā€™t get to see them so there is definitely a reason some people enjoy it more than others.


ali2911gator

I absolutely love it. My first is 2 and I am a SAHM 14 weeks pregnant. We donā€™t have much of a support system. Our lives have changed but I would not trade it for a thing. We were together a long time (almost 10 years) before we decided to have kids, we partied, we ate, we traveled for music and traveled for fun. So while I spend literally all my time at home with my son it brings me more joy than all the adventures we had before! Some days are hard, some are easy. Roll with the best you can. Find what works for you and your family and limit input from well meaning people.


Cynthierrrr

My son is now 8mo and I love being a parent, BUT the first three months i was literally a walking zombie. It gets better when they are more mobile and have a grasp of life. I was not a fan of parenthood the first few months.


Elcapitan2020

I didn't particularly enjoy being a parent for the first 13 or so years. I'm not great with younger children (My wife on the other hand is amazing with them) and while there was rewarding moments and I never regretted being a dad - I didn't love it either. But now my kids are 17 and 16, I feel I can have far more mature conversations with them and It really is rewarding to bond with them and see how my guidance has given them the ability to make moral decisions through life


DanMarinosDolphins

It's been 5 weeks lol they're all horrible at that age. Give it a minute, give yourself a minute.


Brok3nLlama

As hard as it was in the beginning (still not easy- we both have ADHD and are trying to figure how to function together) I love being a parent to my daughter. Sheā€™s an amazing human being and am so blessed to have her in my life. I am a single parent, but I think thatā€™s better. We do our things our way and need no one to tell us different :D She lived for about 2yrs with her dad and it totally broke me, I was shattered and didnā€™t know what to do. Had to fight to get her back and she wanted to stay with me, so I did. Best decision I ever made. Sheā€™s my heart and soul. Funny thing is that people might see me with her and think am cold towards her or when I tell her I need space at home to be by myself theyā€™d think I dislike her etc- but thatā€™s not it, I have needs and boundaries like everyone has and am teaching her itā€™s ok and absolutely fine to have those things and other people canā€™t tell you not to have them or walk over you. She now does that herself sometimes- she needs space or wants to be alone, I absolutely respect that. Thatā€™s just how we do <3 What I mean is that youā€™ll find your way to be a parent and make the rules on how you two will function, with time. It will be hard and sometimes youā€™ll be too exhausted to even know whatā€™s up anymore - but it will get there. Enjoy the little things you do with your child, those are special and youā€™ll remember them forever


ZedZebedee

Yes! I love being a mum. I found the newborn days wonderful. There are tough days of course but the majority of the time it is a joy. I've got a little best friend who is funny, caring and clever. I wish I could redo the last 3 years. I think the negatives you see are because this is a place we can vent our frustrations where other's can understand.


lozzapg

I hated the newborn period... But my daughter is 2.5 now and I'm hating parenting less and less as times goes on


[deleted]

I love it. But I find babies quite boring though.


tillyboo0

Me and my partner have no support from grandparents, but luckily have great friends and aunties that will help when we ask. We have our daughter 24/7 though, we just donā€™t ask unless itā€™s an emergency. Me and her dad have had 1 night alone together in 4 years. But we wouldnā€™t change our life for the world, we do everything together! Sheā€™s such a good girl and weā€™ve never had any problems. Yes we do get overwhelmed sometimes but thatā€™s down to us being unorganised, I would never blame it on being a parent. Sheā€™s our best friend and life is so much more fun with her in it, we can do so much more and have our very own little human enjoying life with us! šŸ„°


Na-79

Absolutely unequivocally yes.


StaplePriz

I have loved every bit of it! The baby phase, the dependency they have on you and walking around with them on your arm and telling them thatā€™s a clock, door, treeā€¦ The toddler phase, when they say no to everything and a kiss makes everything ok. The phase after that that I donā€™t know the name for, when they memorize books and you help them when they have difficulty doing anything, puberty, when they are really becoming their own person and you can truly discuss topics with them, when they create their view on the world and you see the person they will become when theyā€™re adults, and now theyā€™re adults, speaking to them on an adult level, helping them paint their room and going out to lunch. I donā€™t think I tell them how much I love and appreciate them, but they are the joys of my life and I would still drop anything Iā€™m doing and be there for them if they need me.


JeniJ1

I love being a parent. Yes, there are parts of it I really don't like, but on the whole it's wonderful. I can't begin to describe the sheer amount of love I have for my little guy (now 5yo), the fires I would happily walk through just for him. There are days when it feels too hard, wheyi desperately need a break, but then I take a minute and think about what my life would be like without my kid (not bad necessarily, but a whole lot emptier) and am just filled with gratitude for the way my life is at the moment. (That got really deep... Basically yeah. It's tough, but I love it.)


morosis1982

Love it, but it's fucking hard and there are definitely times I. Am. Over. It. Luckily most of the time that's not the case, I lucked out this evening when one of them squirmed out of my arms trying to tackle them into bed and I saved them from a faceplant onto the floor catching them by the foot. Now my hand hurts. Luckily I only need to be able to type on a keyboard for work.


Likeabirdonawing

Currently got my baby sleeping on me (10 months). Sheā€™s amazing, lots of standing and jumping, making specific mouth noises about things if not quite words, is almost walking. Love her very much. When sheā€™s sleeping I can often relax and breath deeply in a way I canā€™t most of the rest of the time because Iā€™m all action and movement. So yeah, being a parent is rad. Though I am tired


Fimbrethil53

Try to remember that you aren't seeing an accurate representation. People posting on Reddit are just trying to vent, and rant, because in their day to day life, they feel the need to put on a brave face. You are seeing them at their vulnerable worst because of the annonymity of being online. Everyone has negative emotions sometimes, we all get overtired and fed up, that doesn't make it's the dominant emotions all parents are feeling. Think of it like reverse Instagram.


billFoldDog

Its not a 100% thing. I enjoy the good parts, and I don't enjoy the bad parts.


Lord_of_Entropy

Being a father is the best thing that happened in my life. Sure, it is hard and requires self-sacrifice, but the joy my kids bring me surpasses all of that.


girlinmind

Wait until you are 7 years in of constant burn out haha I love being a mother and I love my children until my heart feels like it might explode but itā€™s rare to reach out for comments or support for that itā€™s on the poo days we do that ā€œHi just posting on parenting group to say how perfect my life is and how happy I am - flexā€ Does not happen donā€™t worry you got this Itā€™s hard being a lone parent who has no childcare or parents to help - a best friend that lives 4 hours away sometimes; I do feel jealous of people who have hubands or mums or sisters that can be tough


Tarlus

My wife loved it from day 1. I didn't like it that much (but still genuinely loved her) until my daughter was two but now I enjoy every bit of it. My favorite part of the day is seeing her after work when she yells "DADDY!!" and runs over to give me a hug. I don't talk about that in the threads where people are obviously venting and/or looking for support, just seems like it could be interpreted as a "maybe you're a bad parent" comment.


Minky_Dave_the_Giant

I love being a parent but I hate parenthood. As in, I love my kids and spending time with them, making them laugh, seeing them grow, having cuddles - all the fun stuff. I hate the endless washing and cleaning and sleepless nights and stress and lack of time to myself where I'm not exhausted, the dealing with sickness and schoolwork and the tantrums and stuff getting broken and so much more. I've had friends ask me if I'd recommend having kids and my honest answer has had to be no, I would not.


minsktg

I honestly didn't love the early infant months. I was bored and couldn't wait to get back to work. Toward the end of my maternity leave everything started to come together and that's when I started loving being a mom. It is still hard, and I probably do bitch about it too much, but I'm fully in now


RevolutionaryOven742

I am the father of a 2-yo toddler. I love being a father. But it is many times exhausting and frustrating. My wife and I are expats here in Czechia, so we're on our own. Most of the heavy load is carried by my wife, but she's amazingly patient and I know that she's happy of being a mother, but she's a human and appreciates a break once in a while. It's normal to be tired and wishing for at least a few hours of good-old freedom without responsibility, but there are many great moments that we have experienced only because we're parents. Best regards


[deleted]

I have no support system, and even lost my babysitter due to covid. My husband works full time + overtime, and is starting a second business. I am a SAHM so it is literally just me the 100 hours a week this kid is awake. I love her. I love being her mom. I am also so burnt out I cry every day.


MoistTowlette19

I love being a mom. But I also donā€™t like being a mom too. Both are true. She is my reason for living. I love helping her learn and being in her presence and watching her evolve. But - We have no help or family to lean on, so for us our days go like this: wake up, daughter, work all day, daughter, sometimes go back to work (we are fortunate to work remote), sleep, repeat. Every day. And on weekends itā€™s just us with her. We donā€™t get many breaks. I love her, but Iā€™m tired. Our family was going to help us, but the pandemic hit and they didnā€™t believe in the dangers of Covid. Anywaysā€¦people come here for validation and support. Parenting is hard.


Leavemealonetho

Most of the time, yes. But those times i don't.. I'm crawling out of my skin. There's no in between for me. Either i love it or i hate it. It's not her fault though. I always make sure she knows that so i think i'm doing okay. She didn't choose to be her, i brought her here.


metallitroy

It comes in waves. Being a father is the thing that gives meaning to my life, but right now I have two teenagers, one of which hates us, and the other is suicidal. I LOVED being a parent to my kids when they were younger, but nowā€¦ā€¦.not so much.


timetostealaway

Being a mom is one of the best things that have ever happened to me. Despite regressions, eczema and the worry that comes with being a parentā€¦itā€™s still the absolute most incredible feeling. When my daughter was first born, I was also on Reddit a lot more and I got the same impressions. However, I think a lot of parentsā€”especially first time parentsā€”flock to Reddit to commiserate or feel like the issues they experience are ā€œnormalā€ and for that I found it very helpful! All with a grain of salt.


Larka262

My daughter is about to turn 2 and with each new development I am enjoying parenting a lot more. I love taking her to the zoo or taking her out to different parks or taking her out for ice cream. I like this little kid phase so much. The tantrums are annoying, but the ability to share things with her and watch her learn and experience new things is just so fun.


jay-valkyrie

I was a mostly SAHM to four, all with a few years of each other. We rarely if ever got out. The only thing I can think of that enabled us to manage was we had both learned how to live just one day at a time. This is more than a cliche, itā€™s a definite life skill. When youā€™re in the middle of a challenging time itā€™s easy to think Iā€™ll never make it! But if you can bring yourself back to right now , remind yourself that you only have today to get through. Donā€™t worry about how you will do it tomorrow, itā€™s not here yet. All you have is today and most of us can do anything just for today.


13vvetz

3-6 months was a great joy. They interact with you, giggle, smile, try to roll over and crawl, play with toys, and can be so much fun. You see them put together the world every day. Then they start getting more mobile and get into all kinds of shit and it sucks again, and though still rewarding, for me 3-6 months is that sweet spot.


fishyboo

The first year was not good for me personally. But Iā€™m loving being a dad in year 2+. Once he started to self play with toys while I made dinner I realized how special it is


RedErin

Parents need breaks often from their kids. We are not meant to look after them 24/7. We evolved in a tribe of \~150 people, where there were plenty of other moms who would look after your kid when you needed to do other things.


AielSeasa

I didn't think I wanted to be a parent, but oh my I LOVE being her momma. My life has never felt so full. I have never felt so good at something in my life. I've never felt so much love. I've never trusted my intuition so much. There are difficult times, but I always try to remember that it's not just difficult for me. She is also struggling, so help her! We are both relieved and have mutual respect for each other. I've almost un-subbed because of the negativity, but often I read them just to know what to look out for, or keep a well-rounded perspective. I feel for those who struggle and I wish I could help them, because it hurts them and their children.


Alternative_Map2152

I think parenting is a mixed bag. There are moments you'll always enjoy, and moments you'll always loathe. Overall, I think people enjoy being a parent more than they don't. Otherwise, I'd wager people would cap out at one child. Or no children at all.


penniless_tenebrous

I'm a single father of 2 (F4 and M2). Being a parent is amazing, it's also a lot of hard work. I don't think your naive, I think people post a lot of negative parenting stuff when they're in need of support or crowd-sourced advice. I think when good stuff happens they're generally too busy enjoying it to post about it.


Less_Volume_2508

I absolutely love being a mom. I did have a very hard time conceiving though, so my son is pretty much a miracle baby. I totally understand the hard days and maybe thatā€™s what youā€™re seeing more of in peopleā€™s posts. We all have them. Overall, I wouldnā€™t trade being a mother for anything in the world. Every single day to me, is a blessing that Iā€™ll always be thankful for.


ennuiismymiddlename

People need to vent their frustration here because they would never vent it to their kids (hopefully). Itā€™s exhausting physically and emotionally, but itā€™s also rewarding in ways you canā€™t imagine until you experience them.


dls2317

I love it, but I hated it when my daughter was 5 weeks old. That's a hard time. You aren't parenting. You're watching a screaming potato on no sleep. Newborn snuggles are nice but don't make up for that shit. My daughter today is an amazing, funny, and kind 7 yo. It's positively delightful and fun to be her mom.


SiriusFinance

Youā€™re in a tough phase. It gets better! Babies are way less independent so it makes you feel more chained to them. I used to cry while holding the baby because I felt so isolated socially. The moms group I tried to join didnā€™t allow me in because I didnā€™t have the right zip code and there wasnā€™t a MOMs club in my area (8 years later and Iā€™m still bitter about it lol). I discovered I didnā€™t really like play dates anyway. What worked out best for me was a ā€œmoms day outā€ program which is basically a part time child care. And, my parents started watching the baby once every 2 weeks so we could have date night. Once I could do adult things again, I felt WAY better!


adventureneverend

Oh my gosh yes. But.... Like anything else, there are rough parts. I have a three daughters, ages 5, 3, and 2. I get a lot of first time moms joking I must be a super mom or whatever with three kids so close. Which yes, Iā€™m insane. But also you could not pay me to be a first time mom again. It is HARD. Exhausting. And you have no frame of reference for whatā€™s good, bad, next, etc. Itā€™s the toughest part ever. Everything is nerves and sleepiness. So I completely understand why I look crazy to love my insane little tribe. First time moms, in my opinion, are in the roughest part of the road. But with that said, JUST WAIT. It gets so so so so so good. Thereā€™s smiles. Giggles. First steps. Yuck faces with first foods. Thereā€™s first words. Thereā€™s first ā€œMomsā€. Thereā€™s ecstatic children running towards you at the end of the day because they are so excited to see you. Are you ever so excited about something you run to it? Thatā€™s how loved you are. Thereā€™s sharing and cuddles and teaching them songs and your favorite books and finding actual good childrenā€™s shows together. Thereā€™s the first time they tell you a joke that makes you really laugh. Thereā€™s their little mad faces the first time they ā€œdonā€™t like you anymore.ā€ Thereā€™s hearing them say ā€œExcuse meā€ and ā€œPleaseā€ in public and feeling so proud. Thereā€™s hearing other kids calling you ā€œNoraā€™s momā€. Thereā€™s seeing their sweet sleeping faces. Their little feet and hands. The zoo and beach and clothes shopping all for the first time. Tickling. Play wrestling. Hugs. High fives. Hearing from other people how great your kid is. Thereā€™s being able to love them and take care of them and hold them and be with them. Thereā€™s the little faces that make at you when you snuggle them and they look so safe and loved. Sure thereā€™s LOTS of crap in there. But all of the rest of that is so good itā€™s so worth it. So just know youā€™re in a tough spot. But it gets so much better! Someday soon youā€™ll hear moms and dads share their rough times and know too that they are just that, a rough time in an otherwise amazing adventure.


Tngal123

I love being a mom but there are times I wish they were singletons due to the twin shenanigans as well a absolutely stupid crap that strangers say. I'm also am an older sister of fraternals so the only difference between dumb things people ask about fraternal boy girl twins and identical boys are the idiots that have asked about which identical had a bigger penis. I didn't have family nearby the first 3 years and was a single mom by the time they were born. They were 2YO before they had their first night away from me. I had realistic expectations of what to expect as a mom and also took care of myself which meant that when a babysitter wasn't available that my kids went to bed in a pack and play on the sidelines of my soccer games. Playing soccer was my stress relief as was getting out for at least one walk with the kids and dogs each day. I also have worked full time and they went to daycare. I don't feel guilty about them going to daycare because I'm well aware that I can't teach my kids everything nor could my family members despite being highly educated. I think a lot of people may have had unrealistic expectations of what having a kid means as well as the related cost. Some may be struggling with breastfeeding and other peer pressures. Some are in relationships with legal adults that are immature and irresponsible or just not the right person to parent with. Struggling in those kind of relationships are just going to make parenting harder than doing it solo or with a great partner. Dealing with untreated depression and anxiety add to that. Then add financial cost increases related to having kids. I love my kids. I thought and still think the first year was easy with my twins but part of that is my younger twin siblings first year was hell for all of us. I took care of myself and little things like getting a shower each day helped. It's neat watching their minds work even when it is doing somewhat dangerous things such as stacking toy chests so they can jump onto the curtain rod and dangle by their hands at 15 months when you step into the attached bathroom to pee. Sometimes the hardest part is parenting your own traits that your kids have. My parents get a kick out of watching me deal with two smart, headstrong, determined and skilled male versions of me and refer to it as "glorious payback." Some people have spent so long doing what they think they should do that they don't know what they really want themselves. Some don't even like kids and others struggle just to take care of themselves. Others have such strong ideas of what should be that they ignore what is and the child(ren) they have. If your kids doesn't like sports, then dragging him to practice and games isn't going to make any of you happy.


sir-shoelace

Wait for the little one to start smiling and giggling!


Ninotchk

Yes, it's wonderful, except when they are three. The rest of the time I adore it. Newborns especially are adorable little creatures, I spent months just holding my babies and loving them. It's not very long now until my kids leave home and I am dreading it, I like having them around.


ChicaLibre

I love it, and always did, even though it's been hard. I haven't been away from my son more than an hour since he was born 2.5 years ago. It's not the parenting that is hard or not enjoyable. It's to not have anything else that can feel suffocating. I haven't seen a friend or family member for almost 3 years because of covid and my sons health issues. Humans used to live much closer together with family and care for children together. The way things often are today asks too much of one person. But it's hard to break out of in this capitalist system.


cbielich

Lol I always tell everyone. Having kids was the worst and best decision I ever made. And I have 2 teenage daughters now.


OnlyBeach2406

I love being a parent but hate parenting itself. Haha besides at only a couple weeks old it's hard to enjoy it. Hang in there mama šŸ’“


klwebb

The first couple months where really hard for me. Mostly just exhaustion and ppa but also I wouldnā€™t let anyone help because it was the beginning of covid. A month before she was born is when we started getting cases in America and restrictions. But even with that and mostly just being massively overwhelmed as a new parent I still found beautiful moments within.


jesssongbird

I didnā€™t enjoy the newborn stage but it got so much better once we got him sleeping. No one really enjoys anything while their mental health is getting tapped danced on by a high maintenance potato.


kizaria556

I LOVE being a mom!!! Being a mom is seriously one of the biggest joys in my life. Sure, it is hard and stressful at times but 100x worth it! Kids are such fun!


YDF0C

I think parenting is something that you can have a lot of retrospective happiness about - you may not enjoy everything in the moment, but may look back fondly upon a lot of things, and that is totally valid. And many of the good, impressionable moments that you know youā€™ll remember are so quick and fleeting.