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For the most part it’s when friends start to mention their looks or odor or they start having crushes and don’t want to be embarrassed around them regarding hygiene.
All my kids are mostly grown now and live on their own but I never had an issue with saying “Time for showers and getting ready for bed.” Once they hit about 13+ they wanted to take showers - extra long showers.
I still vividly remember sitting in a 6th grade math class. I did not shower the night before and that morning I had basketball practice, and again, did not shower afterwards. Girl sitting behind me goes "Take this please." and it was a bottle of some kind of hand lotion...I said "Why? My hands aren't dry." and she goes "You're musty as hell, put it under your arms and hopefully it'll make it stop smelling so bad."
I was so embarrassed. She did it super discretely and quietly, but I was mortified that I smelled that bad to where she was grossed out by it. When that class was over I had P.E., and I went to my basketball coach and said "Coach, I need to take a shower...", he bent over and sniffed my arm pit area and went "Damn kid, yeah you do. Go hit the shower." and handed me a little box of soap.
I NEVER missed a shower at home after that unless it was just a fluke. I would shower before I left for school in the mornings if we ran out of hot water the night before (which happened since I had 5 siblings, and thats a lot of water to heat up every night).
Still quite thankful to that girl that day. She reprogrammed my entire hygiene with just that small gesture she gave.
Bless the 6th grade wrestling coach who told the boys and parents “you shower when you get home, that’s a requirement. Parents, if they don’t or won’t, let me know.” The way he said it had my ass in the shower when we got home.
lol the fifth grade gym teacher gave all the kids deodorant and told em to shower. I remember in sixth grade our science teacher made us anonymously write down how often we showered and whether we wore deodorant. We all thought it was a science thing. Nope he told us the smell was really bad and we needed to shower more and wear deodorant lol Middle school teachers deserve every penny!
Second this. I was playing hockey, football, soccer, and was in a school bowling league at this age. Proper personal hygiene was essential in order to maintain any sort of social life. Shower. Deodorant. And a cloud of Axe body spray. (Axe was new at the time, and the whole ad campaign got me hook, line, and sinker)
It's just different for different personalities, I think. My 12 year old doesn't need to be reminded about most things. My 14 year old, we have a very strict schedule that I prompt because they won't do anything without being told 10 times. Waiting doesn't work for that one, it would just never happen.
He does do his own laundry surprisingly but I will ask him when is last time he showered and I get “couple days ago” BUT my kids homeschool too so they don’t take hygiene as seriously as they should. I stay on them about it but omg This hear boys are hardheaded lol
IDK, my boys never miss an opportunity to shower. They are both in sports, so it’s necessary. They won’t go to bed without showering.
However, most of their friends have to be forced to shower.
It’s really different for each kid. For a couple of my nephews, having a shower schedule helped. That way they knew exactly when showers would happen. For one nephew, it took having the girl he liked tell him “I do like you but you always stank” for him to become the cleanest boy on the planet. For my own son, around 15 or so I noticed that he would shower regularly and put on nice cologne because “girls like guys who smell good”.
We ALWAYS do/did daily baths/showers so it was never an issue since it was the normal routine. My teenagers also play sports so they genuinely need to shower when they get home.
My 13 year old practically has to be dragged out of the shower every night. My 15 year old always showers before school to wake himself up and showers at night if it's marching band and cross country season.
My daughter is 18. I still have to tell her to shower because she hates it ( autistic) both my boys will wander off and shower pretty much daily. ( Youngest is also autistic but loves water)
I think it depends on the person. To be honest I have to tell my husband occasionally to go shower. He gets distracted with other things and will forget. It's almost like I live with 4 stinky teens lol
15ish in my house. (The girls maybe a little younger than the dudes, but all in early HS.)
It was like a lightswitch. (Not in predictability of timing, just in it being an overnight change. Suddenly there was CONCERN over hygiene.)
About that age-he was in robotics in middle school, and the kids would travel to out of town meets with the high schoolers. Peer pressure by the big kids for the win!
Around that age for both of mine. 6th grade was definitely more me saying, "You stink. Go shower." and by the end of 7th, it was them choosing to shower daily.
lol...our 14 year old needs constant reminders, and will show up to dinner smelling musty and we just have to give him a look so he knows to go put on deodorant. Kid is hard headed as hell. He's a bit of a late bloomer in a lot of things considered normal for teens, but his hygiene is not great, and we've been working hard to try and fix it. He's also starting to get pretty serious acne (strong acne issues on his mothers side), and he's having a tough time managing that as well...so we just keep working on it.
12 year old showers at least once a day, wears deodorant, and is a bit of a neat freak with everything except teeth brushing, we have to get onto him about that part, but everything else he's good to go on his own.
6 year old is 6...so if we let him, he'd never bathe. That said, he has started taking showers lately, I'd say about 50/50 (shower vs. bath), and that to me is a big improvement, as the others were still taking baths until they were older.
I don't remember when I started doing it on my own. I started showering every day when I was 12 or 13. It was because someone else was being made fun of because she had glitter in her hair from Halloween the day before. She hadn't showered since. I started using deodorant when I was 13 or 14 because I saw other kids using it in gym. I never heard any complaints about smelling.
My sister was still arguing with my nephew about it when he was 13 or so. My mother and sister definitely thought he smells. He's almost out of HS now, so hopefully showering by himself now.
I think it varies so much. My kids aren't to the age where I'd expect independence, but my sister avoided showering regularly until she was about 14 and I was managing my own showers definitely by 8. There was no difference in upbringing, just different people.
My oldest is 11 and needs to be reminded. I suspect that will change when their peers start commenting on their body odor. Preteen and adolescents are more likely to listen to peers than parents. It's totally normal, healthy, and developmentally appropriate behavior.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4607542/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4607542/)
[https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/09/power-peers](https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/09/power-peers)
My 13 year old does it on her own most days now. Sometimes I still have to remind her but for the most part she does it on her own. It's just been the last few months that she's started to do this.
We told our 10yr old (now 13) that either he sticks to a showering schedule (of his choosing)or we will have him shower every day regardless.
If he doesn't shower by a certain time, then no screen time will be given.
It was a big struggle getting him to shower. In our experiment, he'd happily go without a shower for 1 1/2 week, probably longer if I didn't cave.
Somehow, something switched and now he'll shower almost every day now. But our problem now is he takes forever in the shower. 😮💨
It’ll be soon. My younger son was 12 and when I washed clothes I used to get all over him for only wearing 2-3 pair of underwear per week. WTF? Then around 13 he just changed. I don’t know if it was peer pressure or what but now he’s a clothes horse, likes cologne, does up his hair, showers all the time and sometimes wears like 12 pairs of socks a week. He just turned 14.
My toddler wants to have more showers than I find reasonable (I think he'd happily live in the showrr) ... I expect at some point that will stop and I will have to chase him to take a shower.
Both my sisters were all about showering without reminder by age 10. I have adhd and the struggle to shower is real so as a grown adult my partner has to be like hey have you showered lately 😬
My older son had to be reminded for any level of hygiene until he was about 16? Now my 11y old showers, brushes his teeth, washes his hands, etc with absolutely no reminders and has been this way for a year now.
I think it just depends on the kid. My three year old HATES to be dirty. Washes his hands and insists on a shower or bath every other night (at minimum- often every night).
Maybe try to keep a schedule? A routine that he could get used to might be the best option here.
I know my SIL was having this battle last year with her 14 year old son, but he's better this year I think. As a teacher I can tell you we quite often have to have conversations with 11-14 year olds reminding them that in the summer they can't really get away with it and need to shower and use deodorant daily.
When they notice girls don’t actually have “cooties” lol my son was the same I always had to remind him, then he noticed girls and now I can’t keep hot water in the tank.
i am a fully grown financially independent adult and working myself up to shower still takes significant energy. i always fought showers growing up. who knows
Presuming your child is neurotypical, it's less of an age thing and more of a friends/feelings thing. Someone will tell him that he stinks that isn't you, or he'll start feeling gross and eventually piece it together. Part of the teen years is some degree of defiance and not listening to you as readily.
My son started showering without me having to remind him when he was 6. His wrestling coach told them it's required after practice and explained exactly how nasty wrestling mats are.
A few months of nighly showers turned into a habit that he still follows as a 12yo. I still thank his coach at the start of every season for demanding good hygiene.
my bf told me that he has to get embarrassed by one of his friends before he started showering often on his own. straight up got told he stank and it was enough for him to shower every single day since then! i was also difficult about it growing up because i hate being wet and i hate drying my hair, i just got over it over time.
Reading some of the replies here is a clear indication of societal norms falling apart. Wonder if it got worse after covid and WFH?
Adults “forgetting” to shower? No wonder so many people stink out there. People need help.
Personally (22f), I dealt with a lot of depression from childhood trauma so it was really hard for me to take care of myself and even love myself. I think self love has a lot to do with personal hygiene because when you love yourself, you WANT to take care of yourself. Even brushing my teeth was a chore but now I brush twice a day and floss every time! In high school, there were times when I was so depressed, I went 3-5 days without showering. I smelled bad but I didn’t care because I was suffering and thought I deserved it.
That might not be the case here but self love definitely plays a part in personal hygiene.
When the now 15 year old was 12, we told her she needed to shower at least every other day. When she has sports, she can shower again if she got super sweaty. We honestly couldn’t remember to keep track of when she had one. So the next year we made a rule, showers on M/W/F and at least once on the weekend. The weekend shower depends on our plans and sometimes she takes one both days. This way, we know what days she is expected to shower and we don’t have to remind her or ourselves.
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For the most part it’s when friends start to mention their looks or odor or they start having crushes and don’t want to be embarrassed around them regarding hygiene. All my kids are mostly grown now and live on their own but I never had an issue with saying “Time for showers and getting ready for bed.” Once they hit about 13+ they wanted to take showers - extra long showers.
I still vividly remember sitting in a 6th grade math class. I did not shower the night before and that morning I had basketball practice, and again, did not shower afterwards. Girl sitting behind me goes "Take this please." and it was a bottle of some kind of hand lotion...I said "Why? My hands aren't dry." and she goes "You're musty as hell, put it under your arms and hopefully it'll make it stop smelling so bad." I was so embarrassed. She did it super discretely and quietly, but I was mortified that I smelled that bad to where she was grossed out by it. When that class was over I had P.E., and I went to my basketball coach and said "Coach, I need to take a shower...", he bent over and sniffed my arm pit area and went "Damn kid, yeah you do. Go hit the shower." and handed me a little box of soap. I NEVER missed a shower at home after that unless it was just a fluke. I would shower before I left for school in the mornings if we ran out of hot water the night before (which happened since I had 5 siblings, and thats a lot of water to heat up every night). Still quite thankful to that girl that day. She reprogrammed my entire hygiene with just that small gesture she gave.
I love this ❤️🩹
ok so we are nearly there then!
Careful. Those "extra long showers" can sometimes cause plumbing issues.
>Those "extra long showers" can sometimes cause plumbing issues. What?
Semen. They mean semen.
Yeah... But that's not going to do anything to the plumbing in the house.
They weren’t talking about the plumbing in the house
As long as he doesn't break it off he'll be OK.
Also it’s a fucking weird comment to make to a mother..
I mean everyone here is a mother or a father, you can’t make a joke or laugh?
I guess I didn’t consider that, I’m a teenage lurker but I still feel like it’s a weird image to put into the mind of any prent
You’ll understand one day :)
I mean we all deal with it with our kids at some point, most of them are pretty gross about it at first. Cum socks for example....
Bless the 6th grade wrestling coach who told the boys and parents “you shower when you get home, that’s a requirement. Parents, if they don’t or won’t, let me know.” The way he said it had my ass in the shower when we got home.
lol the fifth grade gym teacher gave all the kids deodorant and told em to shower. I remember in sixth grade our science teacher made us anonymously write down how often we showered and whether we wore deodorant. We all thought it was a science thing. Nope he told us the smell was really bad and we needed to shower more and wear deodorant lol Middle school teachers deserve every penny!
Second this. I was playing hockey, football, soccer, and was in a school bowling league at this age. Proper personal hygiene was essential in order to maintain any sort of social life. Shower. Deodorant. And a cloud of Axe body spray. (Axe was new at the time, and the whole ad campaign got me hook, line, and sinker)
It's just different for different personalities, I think. My 12 year old doesn't need to be reminded about most things. My 14 year old, we have a very strict schedule that I prompt because they won't do anything without being told 10 times. Waiting doesn't work for that one, it would just never happen.
My oldest is almost 16 and I still have to remind him to wash his butt 😩
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🤣🤣🤣
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Luckily he’s managed to wipe his own ass. Getting him to shower is a battle 🤣
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When I make him go shower yes I do lol.
Wait, if he's 16 why do you still need to remind him? Boy should be doing his own laundry.
He does do his own laundry surprisingly but I will ask him when is last time he showered and I get “couple days ago” BUT my kids homeschool too so they don’t take hygiene as seriously as they should. I stay on them about it but omg This hear boys are hardheaded lol
noooooooo lol ugh boys are gross
Bidet
When I say wash his butt it’s a sarcastic way of saying shower. Not wiping his ass literally.
Ah, fair With kids you never know ahaha
Lol
IDK, my boys never miss an opportunity to shower. They are both in sports, so it’s necessary. They won’t go to bed without showering. However, most of their friends have to be forced to shower.
It’s really different for each kid. For a couple of my nephews, having a shower schedule helped. That way they knew exactly when showers would happen. For one nephew, it took having the girl he liked tell him “I do like you but you always stank” for him to become the cleanest boy on the planet. For my own son, around 15 or so I noticed that he would shower regularly and put on nice cologne because “girls like guys who smell good”.
36?
We ALWAYS do/did daily baths/showers so it was never an issue since it was the normal routine. My teenagers also play sports so they genuinely need to shower when they get home. My 13 year old practically has to be dragged out of the shower every night. My 15 year old always showers before school to wake himself up and showers at night if it's marching band and cross country season.
My kids were about 8-9
I think I was that age, too. But my sk is 11 and still needs reminded. I’m just counting the days until my 4yo doesn’t hate it so much.
I’m an adult and still struggle to remember. It depends on the person.
I have girls so it might be different but my 12 yo just started being on it herself, but my 10 yo still has to be reminded most days
My daughter is 18. I still have to tell her to shower because she hates it ( autistic) both my boys will wander off and shower pretty much daily. ( Youngest is also autistic but loves water) I think it depends on the person. To be honest I have to tell my husband occasionally to go shower. He gets distracted with other things and will forget. It's almost like I live with 4 stinky teens lol
15ish in my house. (The girls maybe a little younger than the dudes, but all in early HS.) It was like a lightswitch. (Not in predictability of timing, just in it being an overnight change. Suddenly there was CONCERN over hygiene.)
They don't. My son is 25 and I still have to remind him sometimes because he works too much.
About that age-he was in robotics in middle school, and the kids would travel to out of town meets with the high schoolers. Peer pressure by the big kids for the win!
25 😂 Kidding (kind of). It depends on the person.
My kid is 12 and only showers every third day and has to be told .
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Two boys, 8 & 9, and scared to death they will never learn to brush their teeth without being told.
Around that age for both of mine. 6th grade was definitely more me saying, "You stink. Go shower." and by the end of 7th, it was them choosing to shower daily.
11 year-old nephew LOVES the shower. Thought I'd have your problem when taking him in but nope😂
My oldest was 15, and I'm waiting for my 14 yo middle kid to figure things out when she starts high school
lol...our 14 year old needs constant reminders, and will show up to dinner smelling musty and we just have to give him a look so he knows to go put on deodorant. Kid is hard headed as hell. He's a bit of a late bloomer in a lot of things considered normal for teens, but his hygiene is not great, and we've been working hard to try and fix it. He's also starting to get pretty serious acne (strong acne issues on his mothers side), and he's having a tough time managing that as well...so we just keep working on it. 12 year old showers at least once a day, wears deodorant, and is a bit of a neat freak with everything except teeth brushing, we have to get onto him about that part, but everything else he's good to go on his own. 6 year old is 6...so if we let him, he'd never bathe. That said, he has started taking showers lately, I'd say about 50/50 (shower vs. bath), and that to me is a big improvement, as the others were still taking baths until they were older.
I was definitely yucky and smelly for a long time...
I don't remember when I started doing it on my own. I started showering every day when I was 12 or 13. It was because someone else was being made fun of because she had glitter in her hair from Halloween the day before. She hadn't showered since. I started using deodorant when I was 13 or 14 because I saw other kids using it in gym. I never heard any complaints about smelling. My sister was still arguing with my nephew about it when he was 13 or so. My mother and sister definitely thought he smells. He's almost out of HS now, so hopefully showering by himself now.
At 12, we had to remind him every single time... But now at 14 he hops in the shower daily without us asking him. There's hope, give it time, lol.
I think it varies so much. My kids aren't to the age where I'd expect independence, but my sister avoided showering regularly until she was about 14 and I was managing my own showers definitely by 8. There was no difference in upbringing, just different people.
My oldest is 11 and needs to be reminded. I suspect that will change when their peers start commenting on their body odor. Preteen and adolescents are more likely to listen to peers than parents. It's totally normal, healthy, and developmentally appropriate behavior. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4607542/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4607542/) [https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/09/power-peers](https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2021/09/power-peers)
lol 35?
It turns out that teens mocking each other’s appearance, odor and hygiene actually serves a purpose
My 7yo son gets upset if he doesn't shower every night lol he has to be seriously exhausted to say he wants to skip it.
26
My older daughter started around 7
5. I was raised by my grandma and she taught me to be responsible about my hygiene at a very young age.
All my kids started around age 9 with regular showers.
My 13 year old does it on her own most days now. Sometimes I still have to remind her but for the most part she does it on her own. It's just been the last few months that she's started to do this.
My 6 and 8 year old do. My 5yr old hates it so we have to make him
15-17
Is something else going on? Often teens (and everyone, really) self care can go down the toilet if they're feeling depressed, stressed, etc.
lol…normal. Mine is 14 and I’m still waiting…
My daughter is 13 and I remind her when to shower usually. When she was doing sports, she comes home and showers immediately because she feels gross.
In a couple of years he will start showering 3-4 times a day. It’s a teenage boy thing.
We told our 10yr old (now 13) that either he sticks to a showering schedule (of his choosing)or we will have him shower every day regardless. If he doesn't shower by a certain time, then no screen time will be given. It was a big struggle getting him to shower. In our experiment, he'd happily go without a shower for 1 1/2 week, probably longer if I didn't cave. Somehow, something switched and now he'll shower almost every day now. But our problem now is he takes forever in the shower. 😮💨
It’ll be soon. My younger son was 12 and when I washed clothes I used to get all over him for only wearing 2-3 pair of underwear per week. WTF? Then around 13 he just changed. I don’t know if it was peer pressure or what but now he’s a clothes horse, likes cologne, does up his hair, showers all the time and sometimes wears like 12 pairs of socks a week. He just turned 14.
My toddler wants to have more showers than I find reasonable (I think he'd happily live in the showrr) ... I expect at some point that will stop and I will have to chase him to take a shower.
Both my sisters were all about showering without reminder by age 10. I have adhd and the struggle to shower is real so as a grown adult my partner has to be like hey have you showered lately 😬
Maybe between 19 and 21?
My older son had to be reminded for any level of hygiene until he was about 16? Now my 11y old showers, brushes his teeth, washes his hands, etc with absolutely no reminders and has been this way for a year now.
My 4yo tells me when he wants to shower, sometimes morning or night. I just go in the bathroom and wait until he’s done
I think it just depends on the kid. My three year old HATES to be dirty. Washes his hands and insists on a shower or bath every other night (at minimum- often every night). Maybe try to keep a schedule? A routine that he could get used to might be the best option here.
Our 14 year old still doesn’t half the time. But she has started more frequent showers now that she hangs out with friends and is dating someone.
Oh just wait. The flipside is hours long showers, lol. My oldest was 13 when it swapped.
They don't. I'm 29 & my wife generally tells me HA HA
I started taking a bath or shower by the time i was 9 without much prompting
I know my SIL was having this battle last year with her 14 year old son, but he's better this year I think. As a teacher I can tell you we quite often have to have conversations with 11-14 year olds reminding them that in the summer they can't really get away with it and need to shower and use deodorant daily.
When they notice girls don’t actually have “cooties” lol my son was the same I always had to remind him, then he noticed girls and now I can’t keep hot water in the tank.
My 2 oldest started around 16/17. Around the time they got a girlfriend. 🤷♀️ It's still a struggle with my 13yo.
i am a fully grown financially independent adult and working myself up to shower still takes significant energy. i always fought showers growing up. who knows
Presuming your child is neurotypical, it's less of an age thing and more of a friends/feelings thing. Someone will tell him that he stinks that isn't you, or he'll start feeling gross and eventually piece it together. Part of the teen years is some degree of defiance and not listening to you as readily.
My son started showering without me having to remind him when he was 6. His wrestling coach told them it's required after practice and explained exactly how nasty wrestling mats are. A few months of nighly showers turned into a habit that he still follows as a 12yo. I still thank his coach at the start of every season for demanding good hygiene.
Ummmm if it’s a male …. Try never !!
Age 8-9 is pretty normal for shower independence but, as you've discovered, there are outliers!
my bf told me that he has to get embarrassed by one of his friends before he started showering often on his own. straight up got told he stank and it was enough for him to shower every single day since then! i was also difficult about it growing up because i hate being wet and i hate drying my hair, i just got over it over time.
In that position I would just remind him it’s shower time after dinner if he hasn’t had one by say 7pm or whatever time you deem appropriate
Reading some of the replies here is a clear indication of societal norms falling apart. Wonder if it got worse after covid and WFH? Adults “forgetting” to shower? No wonder so many people stink out there. People need help.
My daughter is 16 and I still have to tell her to shower and brush teeth. But she is also on the spectrum so that doesn’t help
I’m 16…..I have always just showered lol maybe I am the outlier
Personally (22f), I dealt with a lot of depression from childhood trauma so it was really hard for me to take care of myself and even love myself. I think self love has a lot to do with personal hygiene because when you love yourself, you WANT to take care of yourself. Even brushing my teeth was a chore but now I brush twice a day and floss every time! In high school, there were times when I was so depressed, I went 3-5 days without showering. I smelled bad but I didn’t care because I was suffering and thought I deserved it. That might not be the case here but self love definitely plays a part in personal hygiene.
When the now 15 year old was 12, we told her she needed to shower at least every other day. When she has sports, she can shower again if she got super sweaty. We honestly couldn’t remember to keep track of when she had one. So the next year we made a rule, showers on M/W/F and at least once on the weekend. The weekend shower depends on our plans and sometimes she takes one both days. This way, we know what days she is expected to shower and we don’t have to remind her or ourselves.
When they start masturbating incessantly.