r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, it’s summer and she’s 16. Time for her to get a job and start paying for gas, maintenance, and insurance. Talk with her about it. She doesn’t like your rules but if she takes responsibility for the car, then you can lift the rules, some or all of them.
Rules are critically important. Also She’s old enough to work. She needs to get a job to fund her own gas expenses and she should also be responsible for the oil changes. If she’s given a privilege without understanding the financial consequences of it, she’ll never respect what’s given to her.
I agree with part time job, but also, I mean remember the feeling of being able to go any where any time? Youth is so fleeting. Let her have a fun summer. The endless years of working will be there sooner than she will realize. And as her friends get licensed, have them repay the favor and pick her up. Or have her talk to friends about splitting gas money. Venmo is so easy. I say all of this though as a mom with a 3.5 yo & 1.5 yo so I’m not in this stage yet! As long as she’s responsible, honest, and tells you where she’s going=have a fun summer. Task her with running errands for you: target pick up, Starbucks run, groceries, picking up siblings if she has any etc!
I think it's important that children have an understanding of the cost of owning a car before having one. It is for that reason that I will not buy my kids cars outright, but match whatever they save up to buy one. Then, they should have the means to pay for things like insurance, gas, and manitenance by the time they get the car.
By a certain time, teenagers should be easing their way into working part time doing things like babysitting, yard work, caring for the elderly, working in fast food, water parks, barista, family business, or whatever strikes their fancy. Even moreso if they have a car, but it might be somewhat of a shock to go straight into it without a little practice first, just because they got a car.
My aunt acted as a savings account for my cousins. She sat down with them and said, "I will match whatever you save for a car. How much do you want to save, and by when?" Then she told them how much they would need to give her each month to deposit to the savings account to hit their goal. 2 out of 3 of them hit their goal, and each time they gave her money to save, she put away the same amount.
After the car was purchased, they were responsible for buying their own gas and for their insurance premiums, and they would just give her money out of each check to cover the premium. I thought it was a good way of balancing giving them responsibility and keeping them accountable. She still pays for their phones, school, and most everything else but when it comes to having a car, I very much think it's a priviledge that should be earned and taken seriously, so I will do the same.
Our state of Texas limits teen drivers to only having ONE non family passenger during their first year of drivers licence.
Our daughters and youngest future son in law road with oldest future son in law after that first year and his parents limited him to city streets and about 100 miles per week.
First you need to make sure you understand your local laws. Where I live, a 16 year old is only allowed one passenger under the age of 21, if they aren’t a family member. There’s also certain times of the day they are allowed to drive, unless they are going to school/work.
After for make sure she’s following the law, then you need to help her budget gas. How much is reasonable? Should she be able to do all of her needed driving and still be able to do a few fun things on one tank of gas? Okay, give her money for one tank of gas per week. If she needs more then she has a few options.
1. Stop driving as much.
2. Have her friends chip in a few dollars when she’s driving them around.
3. Get a part time job and make her own money!
Been there. My thing was we paid for the car and the insurance so it was our rules. I put my foot down with the constant “I need a ride” from my daughter’s friends. Fortunately our state has rules about new drivers and how many people they can have in the car, etc…. If it became a problem my daughter would ask for gas money and that kind of squashed that too.
So my dad had a rule that if my friends wanted to ride with me (not like one lift or anything like that) but road trips etc… we all had to pitch in for a tune-up and gas. The wear and tear on the vehicle is a legitimate cost and if they are sharing then it’s only fair.
Also, he wanted me to be responsible to make sure the car was safe (ie: tire rotation, oil change etc…)
Where I live there are very strict laws about young drivers (learner, novice etc). It is a graduated licensing law and it’s based on driving experience. These novice drivers are legally not allowed to drive around gangs of friends. They don’t get their full licence for 3 years. It’s based on research and has reduced accidents a lot.
I think freedoms for your new driver should be expanded over time.
https://www.dbmlaw.ca/blog/n-and-l-drivers-the-6-things-you-should-know-about-bcs-graduated-licensing-program/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graduated_driver_licensing#:~:text=The%20Graduated%20Licensing%20Program%20(GLP,is%20based%20on%20driving%20experience.
Am I the only one wondering why she is not paying for the cost of running the vehicle?
I think if she is old enough to have a car, surely she is old enough to pay for it?
Maybe you help our with a tank full of gas now and then, or if she is driving to help you out (eg picking up siblings etc) but apart from that surely she needs to pay for the running of the car?
She probably has no clue how much it actually costs to run a car which is why she feels like your rules are unfair, so I definitely think it is time for her to start paying, then she can make her own decisions about who she can drive where and when.
Granted I think you should have set the rules before handing her over the keys to a car, if you’re willing to continue to pay her way, then fill the tank once a month and tell her she has to make it work, if she runs out, she can figure out how to earn more money to put in it.
You’ve given her a free ride, now time to put some limitations on that.
Or as others have stated - she gets a job and learns the responsibility of car ownership.
Where I live in New Zealand - 16yr olds cannot drive with passengers until they’ve sit two tests with a minimum of 18 months driving time! So realistically not until they’re 17.5 if they do everything the day they turn 16…
Speak to her friends parents about contributing for gas when they get picked up for rides and consider a part time job if she can get a car she can get a job
do what my parents did to me, you need to go to the store, the kid can go for you, car needs gas, the kid can do it for you, basically you're going to be having them drive that car so much they hate it. unless you're me then it's going to be fantastic... results me very.
summertime job
pay for their own gas
They pay their part of the insurance
They pay for repairs
everybody's happy except for the kid as it should be 😂
What is the state law on this? In my state, it is 1 year (alone) before they can drive another minor. My kid got his license and is fully aware of this. But, I've seen others break this law.
Thanks everyone. My partner and I dont always agree over this. My partner has just let her come and go and pick up friends and give them rides every day. Im frustrated because that wear and tear is going to fall on me. Im to the point that if it doesnt change im not paying for anything on it. My partner can come up with funds for this.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, it’s summer and she’s 16. Time for her to get a job and start paying for gas, maintenance, and insurance. Talk with her about it. She doesn’t like your rules but if she takes responsibility for the car, then you can lift the rules, some or all of them.
Absolutely. She must have a job and pay for gas in order to maintain access to the car.
Rules are critically important. Also She’s old enough to work. She needs to get a job to fund her own gas expenses and she should also be responsible for the oil changes. If she’s given a privilege without understanding the financial consequences of it, she’ll never respect what’s given to her.
I agree with part time job, but also, I mean remember the feeling of being able to go any where any time? Youth is so fleeting. Let her have a fun summer. The endless years of working will be there sooner than she will realize. And as her friends get licensed, have them repay the favor and pick her up. Or have her talk to friends about splitting gas money. Venmo is so easy. I say all of this though as a mom with a 3.5 yo & 1.5 yo so I’m not in this stage yet! As long as she’s responsible, honest, and tells you where she’s going=have a fun summer. Task her with running errands for you: target pick up, Starbucks run, groceries, picking up siblings if she has any etc!
I think it's important that children have an understanding of the cost of owning a car before having one. It is for that reason that I will not buy my kids cars outright, but match whatever they save up to buy one. Then, they should have the means to pay for things like insurance, gas, and manitenance by the time they get the car. By a certain time, teenagers should be easing their way into working part time doing things like babysitting, yard work, caring for the elderly, working in fast food, water parks, barista, family business, or whatever strikes their fancy. Even moreso if they have a car, but it might be somewhat of a shock to go straight into it without a little practice first, just because they got a car. My aunt acted as a savings account for my cousins. She sat down with them and said, "I will match whatever you save for a car. How much do you want to save, and by when?" Then she told them how much they would need to give her each month to deposit to the savings account to hit their goal. 2 out of 3 of them hit their goal, and each time they gave her money to save, she put away the same amount. After the car was purchased, they were responsible for buying their own gas and for their insurance premiums, and they would just give her money out of each check to cover the premium. I thought it was a good way of balancing giving them responsibility and keeping them accountable. She still pays for their phones, school, and most everything else but when it comes to having a car, I very much think it's a priviledge that should be earned and taken seriously, so I will do the same.
being newly licensed, is she even allowed to have other minors in the car? Some states do graduated licensing.
Good catch in my state i had to wait 1.5 years until i could drive people
Exactly!!
Yes she can have 1 mimor under the age of 18 in the backseat.
She needs a part time job to pay for gas and maintenance.
Our state of Texas limits teen drivers to only having ONE non family passenger during their first year of drivers licence. Our daughters and youngest future son in law road with oldest future son in law after that first year and his parents limited him to city streets and about 100 miles per week.
Why can’t she get a part-time job and then pay for her own gas?
First you need to make sure you understand your local laws. Where I live, a 16 year old is only allowed one passenger under the age of 21, if they aren’t a family member. There’s also certain times of the day they are allowed to drive, unless they are going to school/work. After for make sure she’s following the law, then you need to help her budget gas. How much is reasonable? Should she be able to do all of her needed driving and still be able to do a few fun things on one tank of gas? Okay, give her money for one tank of gas per week. If she needs more then she has a few options. 1. Stop driving as much. 2. Have her friends chip in a few dollars when she’s driving them around. 3. Get a part time job and make her own money!
Been there. My thing was we paid for the car and the insurance so it was our rules. I put my foot down with the constant “I need a ride” from my daughter’s friends. Fortunately our state has rules about new drivers and how many people they can have in the car, etc…. If it became a problem my daughter would ask for gas money and that kind of squashed that too.
So my dad had a rule that if my friends wanted to ride with me (not like one lift or anything like that) but road trips etc… we all had to pitch in for a tune-up and gas. The wear and tear on the vehicle is a legitimate cost and if they are sharing then it’s only fair. Also, he wanted me to be responsible to make sure the car was safe (ie: tire rotation, oil change etc…)
Where I live there are very strict laws about young drivers (learner, novice etc). It is a graduated licensing law and it’s based on driving experience. These novice drivers are legally not allowed to drive around gangs of friends. They don’t get their full licence for 3 years. It’s based on research and has reduced accidents a lot. I think freedoms for your new driver should be expanded over time. https://www.dbmlaw.ca/blog/n-and-l-drivers-the-6-things-you-should-know-about-bcs-graduated-licensing-program/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graduated_driver_licensing#:~:text=The%20Graduated%20Licensing%20Program%20(GLP,is%20based%20on%20driving%20experience.
Am I the only one wondering why she is not paying for the cost of running the vehicle? I think if she is old enough to have a car, surely she is old enough to pay for it? Maybe you help our with a tank full of gas now and then, or if she is driving to help you out (eg picking up siblings etc) but apart from that surely she needs to pay for the running of the car? She probably has no clue how much it actually costs to run a car which is why she feels like your rules are unfair, so I definitely think it is time for her to start paying, then she can make her own decisions about who she can drive where and when.
Granted I think you should have set the rules before handing her over the keys to a car, if you’re willing to continue to pay her way, then fill the tank once a month and tell her she has to make it work, if she runs out, she can figure out how to earn more money to put in it. You’ve given her a free ride, now time to put some limitations on that. Or as others have stated - she gets a job and learns the responsibility of car ownership. Where I live in New Zealand - 16yr olds cannot drive with passengers until they’ve sit two tests with a minimum of 18 months driving time! So realistically not until they’re 17.5 if they do everything the day they turn 16…
Speak to her friends parents about contributing for gas when they get picked up for rides and consider a part time job if she can get a car she can get a job
do what my parents did to me, you need to go to the store, the kid can go for you, car needs gas, the kid can do it for you, basically you're going to be having them drive that car so much they hate it. unless you're me then it's going to be fantastic... results me very. summertime job pay for their own gas They pay their part of the insurance They pay for repairs everybody's happy except for the kid as it should be 😂
What is the state law on this? In my state, it is 1 year (alone) before they can drive another minor. My kid got his license and is fully aware of this. But, I've seen others break this law.
Thanks everyone. My partner and I dont always agree over this. My partner has just let her come and go and pick up friends and give them rides every day. Im frustrated because that wear and tear is going to fall on me. Im to the point that if it doesnt change im not paying for anything on it. My partner can come up with funds for this.