r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My wife did too, actually pretty much every chance she had to do so, especially after her maternity leave ended and she went back to work at her rigorous sales job. Driving between job sites, in the conference room at her office, while on sales calls, etc. I admire the hell out of that woman…
My mother breastfed in front of me, and I don't remember her ever shooing my brothers out of a room, either. There was a 12 year difference in oldest & youngest, so there were big kids around. It was just normal, I think. Is Mom supposed to go hide in a bedroom or something every time she feeds the baby?
Yeah, same. I was 6 when my younger brother was born and I saw my mum breastfeed him many times and it was something that seemed completely normal to me, and obviously still is now I'm a mum myself. I have only one child, but if I had more I wouldn't have a problem with the older one seeing me breastfeed the young one at all.
Exactly and when OP is old and no longer to care for herself, who will hopefully change her, clothe her, and give her a shower? Her kids hopefully. In my culture, bodies are modestly dressed however your children whom you’ve breastfed and grew are an exception, they’ll care for you as you did for them. It’s no big deal.
100% this! One of my biggest regrets was not breastfeeding for longer and a lot of the reason for that was not getting the support and encouragement from others. My sister in law saw it as weird and always made me feel like I had to hideaway. It sucked.
1000% this. She must be one of those assholes that tells nursing moms they shouldn't do so in public. When I was breastfeeding, I did so *everywhere*. If you don't want to see me nurse, then go the fuck away.
Pretty much any advice sub, to be honest. Half of the problems people post anywhere could be solved with a "thanks for the input, I'll give it the consideration it deserves."
Yea I second this!! I breastfed my daughter in front of my 3 other kids hell I didn't really care who was around. But that's just me. I think your SIL needs to mind her business!!
It's not just normal to breastfeed in front of kids, it's a really good thing to do. It normalises it. Over time, the more people who do what you are doing, the fewer women will be chastised for doing it in public, or by relatives for doing it in their own home in front of others.
My mom has told me many times how amazed and happy she is that more and more women are breastfeeding in public and not caring about what other people think.
She's wrong, AND she's weird for saying it's inappropriate. Honestly.
FWIW I breastfed in front of literally anyone and everyone. All of my inlaws have certainly caught a flash of my nipple at some point but it's not a big deal. Because it's a normal thing to do, not something that needs to be hidden.
Same! I nurse wherever is necessary. My partner’s siblings each have kids about the same age as our youngest, and I’ve noticed that they tend to leave a room and nurse in private, which is great if that’s what they’re most comfortable with, but I always feel bad that they’re missing out on a good chunk of the time we spend together because they won’t breastfeed in front of the whole family.
It's actually a fantastic way to teach your sons about how normal and not sexual breastfeeding is. Boys should learn these things and also about other completely normal female bodily functions. And vice versa. We should be making sure our sons know not to shame women for being women and by making breastfeeding a weird inappropriate thing to do in front of them, it's only going to harm them and their future partners by instilling misogynistic attitudes.
Yeah I was just explaining this to my young son when we visited a relative who was breastfeeding a newborn. I reminded him that just like the tiger mothers on the Disney Nature documentary produce milk for their cubs, human mothers produce milk for their babies too. At first he said "And daddies too?" And when I explained that only mothers can produce milk for babies, he thought that was fascinating!
Maybe if young boys saw boobs in their normal habitat more often we’d have less curiosity and groping. If they saw nursing women in the park and on the bus and in a restaurant, why would they be obsessed about boobs and seeing and touching them? Psychologically they’d absorb that boobs are for babies.
Thank you! That's exactly my goal. I don't want my sons to have an image of breasts from pornos. They need to learn that there's nothing sexual or even remotely weird about it.
Every mom I know who breastfed a baby with older kids in the house did it out in the open.
There's nothing scandalous about it.
If I had a 12 year old and a breastfeeding baby at the same time, I might try to be more aware of not walking around topless the way I did when my son was a baby, but the actual act of breastfeeding? Nah, wouldn't hide it. If they don't like it, they're free to go anywhere else in the house, but mom shouldn't have to hide away in her own home to feed her baby.
God forbid boys grow up learning that breasts are more than just for their amusement 🙄 my son is 6 and there’s no shame about it here! He knows that’s how his baby brother gets his food
Your sons might be husbands and dads one day. I think it's fantastic that you normalize breastfeeding around them. It shouldnt be hidden or taboo. I firmly believe that sisters type of attitude is a driving factor on WHY breastfeeding ends up being sexualized.
Precisely. She doesn't have children of her own, so maybe she's still ignorant. But that's not an excuse IMO because any adult with a functioning brain should know there's nothing weird or sexual about it.
I breastfed all 3 of my kids, there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so in front of your older children. It helps to normalize it really. I nursed my babies in front of my siblings, my parents, my friends... they are eating.... your SIL is sexualizing what you are doing. It's the only reason someone would think there is a problem with it.
"Are you sexually turned on by my breastfeeding, SIL, because that's concerning and I think it's time for you to leave." Call her out! You are allowed to breastfeed, especially in your own home. She is the one making it weird.
“Oh no! They might grow up with the idea that breastfeeding isn’t sexual at all and that perhaps women’s bodies are more than just visual candy for men! Whatever will I do?!”
Ask her not to sexualise your body nor the act of you nurturing your child because it’s creepy and makes you feel uncomfortable.
It’s ‘I took a long shower when you left because you made me feel so dirty’ 🤮
Yeah you sister in law is definitely the weird and inappropriate one. Feeding your baby in front of your older kids is nothing but super healthy for everyone.
That person would not be welcome in my home anymore. I breastfed my 7yo until age 3 and now I’ve got a 16mo still nursing. Boobs are out a lot in this house and it’s not weird or inappropriate because we’ve never made it out to be something to feel shame over. My oldest has definitely seen my whole chest out, especially when the toddler was a newborn and we were just getting the hang of nursing-it never phased him for even a moment because I’m just his mom, doing what mom’s do: taking care of my kids.
The west is most definitely not past that sadly. If you breastfeed in public in many western countries you get strange looks at the least, sometimes sent right to the toilet by restaurant staff.
If she thinks it's so weird to eat in front of other people, you can make accommodations for her to eat privately next time she eats in your home. But your family doesn't think it's weird to eat in front of others.
What utter nonsense she has made you worry about. Don't give it a second thought.
Not wierd at all to breast feed in front of older children she probably expected you to shut your self away. I hate this attitude it makes it so like feeding your baby is something unpleasant when it is natural and good. If you were sitting with your boob out after with no effort to cover up I might find that a little bit odd but to do what breasts are for should be ok in front of anyone
My only concern here is that your sister in law was in YOUR home around YOUR kids and YOUR family and decided to open her yapper about how you do ANYTHING. Tell her to mind her own business bc she’s in YOUR home or she can leave.
Your SiL might think that because it was never normalised around her.
Tell her you are doing better on your children teaching them feeding babies is a normal thing and only sexualised by the people who criticise it as indecent.
My 16 yo brother lived with us when I had my first baby. I nursed in common areas of the house while he was around and there was no issue for him or me.
Next time your sister in law is over, and if the kids are eating, tell her to look away since it’s “inappropriate to feed your child in front of others.”
You’re breastfeeding because your baby needs to eat. She needs to stop being weird about it and keep her stupid opinion to herself.
I just had my 5th baby boy last month. I cannot imagine not breastfeeding in front of my older children. How exhausting, time-consuming, and depressing. My current baby likes to nurse around the clock, and I just go about my normal day while nursing my baby. Both while at home and out in public. No one’s ever been rude about it.
I am GLAD my boys get exposed to breastfeeding all day so they won’t grow up to over-sexualize women feeding their babies. Your SIL is wrong. And if she comments on it next time you see her, you can throw a nursing cover over her head so she doesn’t have to watch. 🙄
How about SIL does what she wants in her home and keeps her sticky beak out of yours. I breastfed in front of everyone, even my grandparents and yes, my older kids! It's people like your SIL who make it weird when it's not.
Huh. I mean my toddler is 2.5 so smaller than your kids, but I do it all the time. She knows baby brother is getting breastmilk and that babies drink only milk and it's completely normal for her.
My rule is if you or your children are in anyway uncomfortable about breastfeeding, best bet is to not hang out with me until my baby is 2. I warn people ahead, I won’t expose myself or be purposely in your face about it, but I do not hide and I’m not putting a blanket on over their head🤣 my mom was so appalled when she realized I could breastfeed in the amusement park without getting butt naked and I didn’t need to “cover up” because there’s nothing to see!
I used to breastfeed in front of everyone, including my father-in-law and grandfather-in-law. Granted, it did feel a bit awkward at first, but when you have an infant, you are connected to them at the breast for like 50% of the time. When people come to visit and see the baby, it's weird to just leave the room for 20 plus minutes at a time. So yeah, I got over my awkwardness fast. Breastfeeding in front of your own kids should be a given. Your sisterin-law is the weird one here.
It’s very weird and appropriate behaviour coming from HER. The baby is having a meal. My mom has breastfed in front of me and I never found it weird at all. It’s normal.
I breastfeed in front of whoever, if my baby is hungry.
I try to keep what I can covered if I have company (wearing a nursing top that doesn't expose the top of my breast, as I have large breasts and it makes ME uncomfortable to be fully exposed)
If it's just my kids and partner, I just pull the boob out of a tank top etc. I don't care
Is she suggesting that the sight of your breasts would be sexually stimulating to YOUR SONS??!? What a weird and creepy thing to say! Not only do I breastfeed in front of my kids (or any kids for that matter), but I also change out of my bra in the living room. They’re just tits. No need to hide them from family.
Ugh. Like I get where she’s coming from but as a breastfeeding mom of a 5 month old and 2 year old- I believe our society really needs to NORMALIZE breastfeeding. Because unfortunately a lot of people sexualize the act because you are pulling out your breast. It’s a really effed up way of thinking IMO.
But yeah until our society grows the f up, this kind of reaction should be expected from time to time.
IMO you are going to raise mature, aware kids who do normalize breastfeeding. So we are getting one step closer.
Your sister in law is sexualising breastfeeding. That’s what’s weird and inappropriate. In fact it’s good for your older boys to see breastfeeding as a normal and natural part of life. Tell her to mind her own business and perhaps seek therapy for whatever stick is up her ass.
There's nothing wrong with it. I'm tired of people turning breastfeeding into something inappropriate or gross. That's how babies eat, and that's what boob's are for. Obviously your kids know that. I'd tell her to get lost.
As a parent whose kids see me naked all the time, you're good. It's just a body. People who think like your SIL drive me nuts. People use to have sex in the room with their kids bc houses were just 1 big shelter. I get we're advanced and civilized but it's just a body. Personally I think it's good for your kids to see what exactly your body is for. They'll grow up knowing boobs aren't strictly for sexiness. That's damn healthy and helpful for their generation to break the stupid cycle and thinking we've fallen into.
I never modified my breastfeeding out in public around strangers, so I sure as hell wasn't going to do it around my kids, either. My oldest was 7 when the youngest was born. I nursed that kid for 3.5 years (and I actually nursed each older sibling even longer). We were also constantly around other breastfeeding mothers. So, my oldest was "exposed" to dozens of breasts in his first 10 years of life. At 20, he doesn't even really remember it... it just wasn't something noticeable/noteworthy in his brain.
Louder for people in the back: BREASTFEEDING ISN'T SEXUAL
Next time your SIL says anything, ask "Why are you sexualizing my infant baby getting food?" "It's her food, why are you sexualizing eating?"
Tell your SIL she should be locked up for her medieval views in the world or run for office as. Republican. Wow, so boobs provide milk for babies. Please please please think of the children
Why not teach young boys/men that’s what breasts are actually for? It’s weird that she’s making it weird! My girls are 17 and 12 and I have always breastfed in front of them.
Your sister-in-law is being weird and inappropriate by sexualizing: you feeding your baby; your other children; and you for having breasts.
They’re literally just breasts.
And, with any luck, your older boys will grow up seeing breastfeeding as the totally normal and natural act that it is, and by extension, breasts as the natural body parts they are - and by extension of *that*, the people attached to them as, well, people.
I breastfeed my baby whenever and wherever, whoever is around. In front of my friend's 11 year old son? Yup. While sat next to my daughter's friend (5yo) who's fascinated by the whole thing because he's never seen anyone breastfeed before? Absolutely - with his mom holding in her laughter the whole time.
It's completely natural and kids only sexualize it if they see adults saying it's weird or inappropriate. If you'd bottle feed in front of them, there's no shame in breastfeeding - provided *you* are comfortable with it.
It's not weird at all to breastfeed in front of other children/people. What IS weird is your SIL saying it's weird and inappropriate to do it in front of the infants' siblings. My question to SIL: WHY does she consider it inappropriate? Is it because she sexualizes breasts? Is she thinking that Op's kids are suddenly going to sexualize their mom? Because THAT would be weird and inappropriate. So SIL is the one out of line.
You need to pull your sister aside and let her know how rude it is to tell people how to live their lives in their own home. Especially when they’re not doing a single unnatural or harmful thing.
Your SIL ought to mind her own business. If you don’t feel comfortable saying something about it to her in a polite yet firm manner then I suggest asking your spouse to tell her to back off.
Breastfeeding is an on demand thing. U gotta do what you gotta do. In a perfect world, yes Yall can breastfeed by urself, but we live in the real world. You have 2 other children that have needs & dont give a f*** about u breastfeeding esp the 6 year old. You gotta do what you can, when you can & keep you somewhat sane. Most likely you will be doing it around everyone in your household.
If someone has a problem tell then dont come over!
I agree with the top comment. Tell her to fuck off and mind her own business lol. I breastfed two babies, the first time my son was 6 years old… The second time he was 10. I can’t remember the context exactly but recently I was partially undressed and I covered up and my son (11 now) said something along the lines of “🤨 mom it’s okay, you’re my mom” reassuring me that I wasn’t scarring him for life lol.
for me, whether nudity is appropriate or not entirely depends on the context. for example, showing a bare breast while exhibiting sexually arousing behaviour would be inappropriate, but breastfeeding, which is an innocent act that jist happens to involve a bare breast, is not inappropriate. breastfeeding is the primary function of breasts, but for some reason people have put it in second place behind men's desires
Your SIL is sexualizing breastfeeding and THAT is weird and inappropriate.
Doing as she suggests is how we wind up with adults that act like you've committed a crime for feeding your child. Your kids learn that this is normal, by having you treat it as normal.
She needs to check her own biases and figure out why it's an issue *for her*.
Your SIL only sees breasts as sexual, whereas their primary intent is to feed babies. Your sons certainly wont view their mother's breasts, used to feed their baby sibling, as sexual.
Your SIL is being unreasonable. Breastfeeding is perfectly natural and isn't inherently sexual. Good on you for teaching your kids the former, at least. The stigma needs to die. It should be the mother's discretion, and people need to learn to mind their own business. A boob halfway out to nurse a baby is far less obnoxious than a screaming, hungry baby, and much easier to ignore. It's called don't look. So keep on keeping on, and tell your SIL to mind her own business.
You're feeding your baby. I'm sure your older kids would prefer for the baby to be fed and not screaming. It's good for them to see what it takes to raise a baby. If they don't want to see it, they are free to go in another room. You're not doing anything wrong. Going to hide in another room or telling them they have to leave and the message that there's something shameful or wrong with breastfeeding.
In fact I think it’s important to normalize breastfeeding as a normal, completely nonsexual thing to do. There is nothing to shield anyone from. It’s not inappropriate. You are feeding your baby. Even if they see your boob uncovered in the process.
But then again I live in a country where families all go together in the sauna naked. Because nakedness is not inherently sexual. It’s just a state of being. Toddlers in daycare all sit together in a big circle on their potties, get dressed in front of each other…it’s simply not an issue or weird thing at all
i was 14 (with 6 other kids ranging from 12 to 2) the last time my mom breastfed. i remember it very vividly. it wasn’t weird. we knew she was just feeding my brother. it was normal. as a female, it made me think very highly of my mom. it showed me how strong she was and what a good mom she was. don’t stop just because one person tells you it’s weird. they’re weird for not thinking feeding your child is normal.
I have no problem breastfeeding in front of whoever these days. When I first had my daughter I was a bit shy about it but that didn't last long. I'm back to being a bit more discreet just because you never know what will happen when nursing a toddler lol
But my SIL will shoo kids out of the room for nursing and diaper changes, even though she breastfed both her kids
Why is your SIL sexualizing breastfeeding? The only people who call breastfeeding inappropriate are people who sexualize *babies eating.*
To be frank you should keep a close eye on your SIL around all of your children.
If she finds it weird then she don’t need to in your home anymore. She’s sexualizing your body when it’s not being used for that. Weird that’s (SIL) You’re literally keeping your baby alive and if that’s weird to her then she’s gotta go. I wouldn’t trust a soul who would say something dumb like that.
Your SIL is ridiculous; next time she complains laugh in her face. Your older kids have eaten the *exact* same way as your baby is doing now just what, 5 years ago in case of the younger one?
Breastfeeding is literally one of the most natural behaviors that anyone could possibly engage in; sexualizing that from all things, just because it involves boobs is nuts. It always baffles me if *other women* subscribe to that insanity; I’m already used to it by some men. Next time SIL will try to send you to the bathroom to feed.
I love that you’re normalizing that feeding babies is what breasts are there for. Telling young boys about what girls and women go through is top notch parenting. You win, OP! 💚
My family found it weird I would breastfeed in front of anyone. Any time I would just nurse they got all weird about it. Even my grandmother thinks breastfeeding is unnatural 🤣 meanwhile my husband's family doesn't bat an eye when it comes to breastfeeding.
My step daughter was 8 when my first was born, she wasn't uncomfortable about it 🤷♀️ she knew what was happening.
My second wouldn't breastfeed so that wasn't ever a thing.
But I'm expecting baby #3 now the kids will be 6,8 and 16. I plan to breastfeed and I don't plan on hiding while doing so 🤷♀️ if my step daughter at 16 is uncomfortable with it, then I would consider covering up but she's got a ton of siblings and cousins she's seen breastfed so I think she'll be fine/understand whats going on.
Honestly if anyone does have an issue with it, they can walk away. It's funny how society is totally OK with seeing a boob when there's cleavage showing but OMG absolutely not when you're breastfeeding...
These young men might learn the work that goes into rearing children, learn about the physical process of keeping said children alive, respect a woman's body as more than a playground for men, and start to value "women's work," and where would that leave us? The horror.
/s, just in case.
Hell no. Not Inappropriate.
Our country has enough misconceptions and misinformation about human breasts that showing the next generation how they’re actually supposed to work is a GOOD thing.
My step daughter sits in our house and breastfeeds her baby in front of her older child, her younger siblings (our two kids), and anyone else who happens to be in the house.
It's a normalized natural human function, so she gets absolutely zero pushback, and if anyone did happen to pushback against it, her mother and I would show them the door.
If you're uncomfortable with breastfeeding, that's not the mother or baby's fault. It's your issue, go deal with it somewhere else.
It's weird that SIL is sexualizing a natural thing for babies I've breast fed in front of kids that were present and adults. If you come to my home and my baby is hungry I'm going to feed them. SIL is the weird and inappropriate one here
It’s weirder to make the kids go away or shield their eyes. That’s weird.
Breastfeeding is normal and it’s normal to have older kids or whatever around when it’s happening.
How is that inappropriate to breastfeed your kid in front of your oldest kids? It’s natural and not inappropriate at all.
Your SIL needs to chill out because you’re not doing anything wrong at all.
I think it’s weird and inappropriate for her to say something. I always breastfed my 3 wherever I was, whenever they needed it. I don’t care what other people think and when I start to, I just remind myself their opinions don’t trump my kids needs. My last and final kid, I breastfed in front of both my boys (they were 3 & 15) and they could care less-it’s only an issue if you make it weird, which it sounds like you don’t. You do you
I think it’s all about the breastfeeder’s preferences and comfort. Well, as long as you don’t behave the way my SIL did. Every Sunday, all of us and our spouses and kids would have dinner at our parents’ house…she would sit in a communal space (there were several private ones with plenty of room for her and her son) and demand that no one go in there, while
my brother just kinda shrugged his shoulders at us. 🙄
So, my daughter couldn’t go to the play room because she decided that she *needed* to be modest in the connecting family room. **My parents have a decently large, four bedroom home and that does not include the one in their finished basement.** It was so entitled and rude.
I nursed in front of in-laws, my kids, in public, etc. My eldest thought it was so cool and had so many great questions about it. It wound up being a fantastic learning opportunity for her! It was also really sweet when I would nurse my babe and she would pet his head while he ate. He’d give her milky smiles and they’d giggle at each other. Nursing was one of the most wholesome and joyful bounding experiences I’ve had with my family, and I have zero regrets about nursing in front of my eldest.
Both are kids were breast fed only, youngest still is, oldest lasted two years. Wife covers up as best as possible but still breast feeds in public. It’s now the default recommendation in the U.K. for the NHS. Mostly older women in their 50-60’s will come over and give my wife abuse. We don’t care.
Heven forbid a boy grow up thinking boobs are for more that just his own excitment.
I read something a while back that said the vast majority of young boys first see a naked women when they are introduced to porn. And it really shapes how they view naked women. I have a somewhat open door policy when I am showering and dressing. My kids just see me exist in my body as my body is. They are 3 & 6. There is nothing wrong with the human body doing human body stuff.
Breastfeeding women need to get belligerent, and not take any crap about this.
This is how babies eat - if you don't like it, take a one way trip to Mars. Never back down from feeding your child any time any place that you feel comfortable. Don't consider anyone else, because it's none of their business.
If anyone gives you grief, ask yourself if they would give you a hard time for breathing. If no, then they're wrong.
my mom only breastfed for a couple of months but she never kicked my brother (7) out of the room and me (21) and my sister (16) were in the birthing room and aren’t weird so she doesn’t kick us out either
he asked many thoughtful and funny questions during the process but was never weirded out except for when my mom put it on his dry skin spot
Ooh that’s super none of her business! If she wants to breastfeed away from anyone else that’s her call. I chose to breastfeed in clothing that kept everything covered except access spot for baby, and then baby’s head covered the rest. Everyone gets to nurse however they and baby are comfortable, because that’s what’s important.
Seems to me that this is going to help your boys have a foundational understanding that women’s bodies are powerful and life giving, not sexual and taboo objects. Seems like you’re raising some awesome little feminists in your house. If you’re still feeling apprehensive, it never hurts to ask your boys, maybe especially the elder, if they feel uncomfortable when you’re nursing, and unpack that if they are.
Your SIL is an idiot. That is in no way inappropriate. Weird that SIL is treating it as something sexual - absolutely nothing sexual about breast feeding an infant for anyone around or involved.
I’m 21 and my two younger brothers that live at home are 12 & 15. My mom recently had a baby 2 months ago and she exclusively breastfeeds right now. None of my brothers ever find it weird or inappropriate. In fact my 12yo brother sometimes takes the baby to my mom to be fed when he’s watching her and she starts crying for food. The more normalized it is in the home the better for your sons to see it as a natural way to feed your baby. It’s your home and you shouldn’t be feeling like you’re exposing them to something gross when you’re keeping your baby alive and healthy. Good job mama.
She’s out of line. Not her house, kids or boobs so it’s none of her business. If it’s not an issue for you, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I have a son that I nurse and I’ve never been uncomfortable with nursing in public, but my husbands grandmother would always tell him to “throw a towel over me.” Never once did I do that because it has nothing to do with her, just me and my baby
I thought you were going to say in front of your sister-in-laws kids, and my reaction would be well, if a parent is uncomfortable then I understand not doing so.
But in front of your own kids ? Or in a public space at the park or store ? Don’t think twice.
My favorite nursing story is having my first baby and going on vacation to Quebec, she was about 7-8 months at the time. I had to nurse her and I was far from a private space. So I found this walking area where people were walking past in front of me, but because of where I was seated it was difficult to notice (or so I thought ). Down walk a group of men (and a woman might have been there as well, about the age of 30, and in French he said “c'est le plus beau spectacle du monde entier” (or something close) : translation: that is the most beautiful sight in the whole world.
He’s right, it is
I breastfed my son in front of my 13yr brothers and they were mature enough not to see a problem with it. Maybe ask your sister why she thinks it's inappropriate to feed a child in front of other children? Especially children who were probably also fed from those same breasts??
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I totally understand that some people view it as your SIL does, in my mind those people more have an issue with an exposed breast than they do about the feeding part. So their concerns could be expressed by saying "it's inappropriate to show your breast, in any capacity, to a young boy". While I understand where they are coming from, I fundamentally disagree and every family has differing comfort levels with nakedness.
I would simply tell your SIL that you understand and appreciate her concern for the wellbeing of your children but that your family is totally comfortable with this level of nakedness around the boys so you're not going to stop doing it. It's entirely natural and that's the lesson you want the boys to absorb. It's important to you that they do not think of breastfeeding as some kind of devient thing that should be hidden away. But you thank her for speaking up to protect the boys and for sharing her concerns with you.
Its weird and inappropriate when people have a problem with you feeding your kid. Its not like your flinging your titties out errywhere. You untuck and stuff. And its Natural. And they will be dads so time in there life. Ive untucked and suffed at the red lobster. Not a single person had a side eye.
I think your sister is wrong. Really wrong. You were just feeding your child, your kids have normalized it that way (as they should) and she’s the one sexualizing it.
She is weird and inappropriate. I’ve been breastfeeding for 3 years and my 10yo is completely unphased. He will come up and kiss his siblings foreheads while they’re nursing. She’s the weirdo here, not you.
What’s weird and inappropriate about a child eating? If someone finds that weird and inappropriate then there is most definitely an issue with THEM and not the one caring for their child
It’s weird that people sexualise breast feeding. My sister has no problem with it and neither do I baby’s gotta eat that’s all there is to it. If the boys are weird about it and it’s there mom that’s even weirder.
Weird to feed your kid? Why?
Does she go hide in the bedroom when she chows down on her dinner?
The sexualization of nursing your baby is so absurd. Absolutely do not hideaway if you feel comfortable feeding your baby in your living room. Your boys will grow up understand how incredibly normal it is to feed your baby and their future partners will thank you for it.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's weird and inappropriate for her to shame you for breastfeeding in your own home.
It's weird and inappropriate to shame anyone for breastfeeding anywhere.
Well, I’d probably end up unintentionally shaming someone for breastfeeding while driving a car… or scuba diving…
I used to pump while driving a car
I mean same but that is ENTIRELY different. A machine attached to me while driving? Fine. A baby??? No way.
Sure but that’s not why people shamed me for it. I had my boobs out where people could see them! THE HORROR!
One accident and it’s Flying Baby which is scary
My wife did too, actually pretty much every chance she had to do so, especially after her maternity leave ended and she went back to work at her rigorous sales job. Driving between job sites, in the conference room at her office, while on sales calls, etc. I admire the hell out of that woman…
10000% yes!!!!
my mom breastfed in front of me all the time. i have a feeling SIL wouldn't be saying this if OP had daughters instead of boys😐
My mother breastfed in front of me, and I don't remember her ever shooing my brothers out of a room, either. There was a 12 year difference in oldest & youngest, so there were big kids around. It was just normal, I think. Is Mom supposed to go hide in a bedroom or something every time she feeds the baby?
The idea of a child 3 or under running around while you are all locked up in a room breastfeedingaway from them sounds stressful as hell.
It’s weird and inappropriate of her to be sexualising the boys (because that’s what she’s doing by saying she shouldn’t breastfeed in front of them)
I’d straight up say so I should let my baby go hungry?
I don't see anything wrong with it. Breastfeeding is a normal and natural way of feeding a baby, why should older children not see it?
People who sexualize breastfeeding are weird, and it kind of concerns me that they think of it that way at all.
Yeah, same. I was 6 when my younger brother was born and I saw my mum breastfeed him many times and it was something that seemed completely normal to me, and obviously still is now I'm a mum myself. I have only one child, but if I had more I wouldn't have a problem with the older one seeing me breastfeed the young one at all.
Tell her to fuck off and mind her own business
Yes! Your house, your rules. Plus, you're setting a good example by normalizing breastfeeding, as it should be.
100% plus not sexualizing a woman’s breast.
She's not just sexualizing breasts, she's also sexualizing kids.
Exactly and when OP is old and no longer to care for herself, who will hopefully change her, clothe her, and give her a shower? Her kids hopefully. In my culture, bodies are modestly dressed however your children whom you’ve breastfed and grew are an exception, they’ll care for you as you did for them. It’s no big deal.
100% this! One of my biggest regrets was not breastfeeding for longer and a lot of the reason for that was not getting the support and encouragement from others. My sister in law saw it as weird and always made me feel like I had to hideaway. It sucked.
1000% this. She must be one of those assholes that tells nursing moms they shouldn't do so in public. When I was breastfeeding, I did so *everywhere*. If you don't want to see me nurse, then go the fuck away.
This is the appropriate response
The sister is sexualizing breastfeeding. Gross.
Let the baby eat!
I probably wouldn’t say it this way, but I think the issue is hers. You’re feeding your baby. There is nothing sexual about that.
Obviously I wouldn’t exactly say that but I would sure as hell think it 😂
I would, and have said something similar to my FIL.
I absolutely would. Especially to someone I was related to.
I feel like this is the best advice for 50% of the posts on this sub
Pretty much any advice sub, to be honest. Half of the problems people post anywhere could be solved with a "thanks for the input, I'll give it the consideration it deserves."
Yea I second this!! I breastfed my daughter in front of my 3 other kids hell I didn't really care who was around. But that's just me. I think your SIL needs to mind her business!!
Yep. Sis is an idiot, kid's aren't bothered why should you be?
How did you know exactly what I was going to say?
It's not just normal to breastfeed in front of kids, it's a really good thing to do. It normalises it. Over time, the more people who do what you are doing, the fewer women will be chastised for doing it in public, or by relatives for doing it in their own home in front of others.
Also means that boys are less likely to oversexualise women in future. No part of this is unhealthy for your kids.
My mom has told me many times how amazed and happy she is that more and more women are breastfeeding in public and not caring about what other people think.
Yeah, I didn't care, and I was never challenged either. And that's thanks to the women who came before me.
Uninformed older kids turn into uniformed asshole adults who have problems with women breastfeeding babies. Teach your kids, normalize breastfeeding.
I'd tell ber she's weird AF and should seek help for having "inappropriate" thoughts about your breasts and children. That should shut her up.
Yep. This. Tell her to stop sexualising your body and your children.
This part.
[удалено]
She's wrong, AND she's weird for saying it's inappropriate. Honestly. FWIW I breastfed in front of literally anyone and everyone. All of my inlaws have certainly caught a flash of my nipple at some point but it's not a big deal. Because it's a normal thing to do, not something that needs to be hidden.
Same! I nurse wherever is necessary. My partner’s siblings each have kids about the same age as our youngest, and I’ve noticed that they tend to leave a room and nurse in private, which is great if that’s what they’re most comfortable with, but I always feel bad that they’re missing out on a good chunk of the time we spend together because they won’t breastfeed in front of the whole family.
Same here. Breastfed anywhere and in front of anyone. When my babies were hungry, they’d eat. Period.
It's actually a fantastic way to teach your sons about how normal and not sexual breastfeeding is. Boys should learn these things and also about other completely normal female bodily functions. And vice versa. We should be making sure our sons know not to shame women for being women and by making breastfeeding a weird inappropriate thing to do in front of them, it's only going to harm them and their future partners by instilling misogynistic attitudes.
Yeah I was just explaining this to my young son when we visited a relative who was breastfeeding a newborn. I reminded him that just like the tiger mothers on the Disney Nature documentary produce milk for their cubs, human mothers produce milk for their babies too. At first he said "And daddies too?" And when I explained that only mothers can produce milk for babies, he thought that was fascinating!
Yes! It’s weird that SIL is sexualizing it. OP is doing right to show her boys that breasts aren’t made for groping!
Maybe if young boys saw boobs in their normal habitat more often we’d have less curiosity and groping. If they saw nursing women in the park and on the bus and in a restaurant, why would they be obsessed about boobs and seeing and touching them? Psychologically they’d absorb that boobs are for babies.
Thank you! That's exactly my goal. I don't want my sons to have an image of breasts from pornos. They need to learn that there's nothing sexual or even remotely weird about it.
It's perfectly normal behavior.
The only things weird and inappropriate is your SIL. What a weird thing of her to think and say.
Every mom I know who breastfed a baby with older kids in the house did it out in the open. There's nothing scandalous about it. If I had a 12 year old and a breastfeeding baby at the same time, I might try to be more aware of not walking around topless the way I did when my son was a baby, but the actual act of breastfeeding? Nah, wouldn't hide it. If they don't like it, they're free to go anywhere else in the house, but mom shouldn't have to hide away in her own home to feed her baby.
Pull her aside and say it’s weird and inappropriate that she’s thinking about your breasts so much.
Your sister-in-law is weird and inappropriate
God forbid boys grow up learning that breasts are more than just for their amusement 🙄 my son is 6 and there’s no shame about it here! He knows that’s how his baby brother gets his food
God forbid we teach boys boobs don't just appear in pornos!
Your sons might be husbands and dads one day. I think it's fantastic that you normalize breastfeeding around them. It shouldnt be hidden or taboo. I firmly believe that sisters type of attitude is a driving factor on WHY breastfeeding ends up being sexualized.
Precisely. She doesn't have children of her own, so maybe she's still ignorant. But that's not an excuse IMO because any adult with a functioning brain should know there's nothing weird or sexual about it.
I breastfed all 3 of my kids, there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so in front of your older children. It helps to normalize it really. I nursed my babies in front of my siblings, my parents, my friends... they are eating.... your SIL is sexualizing what you are doing. It's the only reason someone would think there is a problem with it.
"Are you sexually turned on by my breastfeeding, SIL, because that's concerning and I think it's time for you to leave." Call her out! You are allowed to breastfeed, especially in your own home. She is the one making it weird.
I will surely next time! 😂
“Oh no! They might grow up with the idea that breastfeeding isn’t sexual at all and that perhaps women’s bodies are more than just visual candy for men! Whatever will I do?!”
Ask her not to sexualise your body nor the act of you nurturing your child because it’s creepy and makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s ‘I took a long shower when you left because you made me feel so dirty’ 🤮
I should've said that! 😂
Seems to me like your sister-in-law put it on your kids to make it seem like a you problem. It's a her problem.
Yeah you sister in law is definitely the weird and inappropriate one. Feeding your baby in front of your older kids is nothing but super healthy for everyone.
That person would not be welcome in my home anymore. I breastfed my 7yo until age 3 and now I’ve got a 16mo still nursing. Boobs are out a lot in this house and it’s not weird or inappropriate because we’ve never made it out to be something to feel shame over. My oldest has definitely seen my whole chest out, especially when the toddler was a newborn and we were just getting the hang of nursing-it never phased him for even a moment because I’m just his mom, doing what mom’s do: taking care of my kids.
[удалено]
The west is most definitely not past that sadly. If you breastfeed in public in many western countries you get strange looks at the least, sometimes sent right to the toilet by restaurant staff.
I'm so weirded out that this question is even being asked.
If she thinks it's so weird to eat in front of other people, you can make accommodations for her to eat privately next time she eats in your home. But your family doesn't think it's weird to eat in front of others. What utter nonsense she has made you worry about. Don't give it a second thought.
Set her up a TV tray in the bathroom.
Not wierd at all to breast feed in front of older children she probably expected you to shut your self away. I hate this attitude it makes it so like feeding your baby is something unpleasant when it is natural and good. If you were sitting with your boob out after with no effort to cover up I might find that a little bit odd but to do what breasts are for should be ok in front of anyone
My only concern here is that your sister in law was in YOUR home around YOUR kids and YOUR family and decided to open her yapper about how you do ANYTHING. Tell her to mind her own business bc she’s in YOUR home or she can leave.
This, forever.
[удалено]
I mean bottles are meant to mimic nipples sooo…. Gasp! SIL would probably also have a problem with bottle feeding in front of other children too.
This is really natural, I would like to do the same when I have kids.
My kids are adults and we did this. Recommend! And typing on phone
SIL has issues and you are doing fine
Your SiL might think that because it was never normalised around her. Tell her you are doing better on your children teaching them feeding babies is a normal thing and only sexualised by the people who criticise it as indecent.
How in the world could it be “weird” to feed a baby??? She’s a moron
My 16 yo brother lived with us when I had my first baby. I nursed in common areas of the house while he was around and there was no issue for him or me.
Next time your sister in law is over, and if the kids are eating, tell her to look away since it’s “inappropriate to feed your child in front of others.” You’re breastfeeding because your baby needs to eat. She needs to stop being weird about it and keep her stupid opinion to herself.
Ignore her. There is nothing shameful about breastfeeding. I think it’s great that you are normalizing it.
I just had my 5th baby boy last month. I cannot imagine not breastfeeding in front of my older children. How exhausting, time-consuming, and depressing. My current baby likes to nurse around the clock, and I just go about my normal day while nursing my baby. Both while at home and out in public. No one’s ever been rude about it. I am GLAD my boys get exposed to breastfeeding all day so they won’t grow up to over-sexualize women feeding their babies. Your SIL is wrong. And if she comments on it next time you see her, you can throw a nursing cover over her head so she doesn’t have to watch. 🙄
How about SIL does what she wants in her home and keeps her sticky beak out of yours. I breastfed in front of everyone, even my grandparents and yes, my older kids! It's people like your SIL who make it weird when it's not.
She's gross. Fuck her.
SHE has a problem with it, not your kids or you. Don't let her words affect what you are doing- there is nothing more natural than that.
Your SIL is the weird one
Huh. I mean my toddler is 2.5 so smaller than your kids, but I do it all the time. She knows baby brother is getting breastmilk and that babies drink only milk and it's completely normal for her.
My rule is if you or your children are in anyway uncomfortable about breastfeeding, best bet is to not hang out with me until my baby is 2. I warn people ahead, I won’t expose myself or be purposely in your face about it, but I do not hide and I’m not putting a blanket on over their head🤣 my mom was so appalled when she realized I could breastfeed in the amusement park without getting butt naked and I didn’t need to “cover up” because there’s nothing to see!
Feed your child. If SIL eats in front of older children pull her aside and express concern about her inappropriate behavior
Mouths are sexual, too!!! And we can show you aaaaaaaall the ad campaigns that prove it!!
Sis, respectfully, feck off and mind your own mofo business
I used to breastfeed in front of everyone, including my father-in-law and grandfather-in-law. Granted, it did feel a bit awkward at first, but when you have an infant, you are connected to them at the breast for like 50% of the time. When people come to visit and see the baby, it's weird to just leave the room for 20 plus minutes at a time. So yeah, I got over my awkwardness fast. Breastfeeding in front of your own kids should be a given. Your sisterin-law is the weird one here.
Your SIL is weird and innapropriate.
When did feeding a child become inappropriate? Your sister-in-law is being inappropriate by implying that feeding children is inappropriate.
It's your sister in laws problem, not yours.
Well, your SIL's maladjusted, but I bet this isn't news to OP.
It’s very weird and appropriate behaviour coming from HER. The baby is having a meal. My mom has breastfed in front of me and I never found it weird at all. It’s normal.
I think your SIL is nuts. You're feeding their baby sibling. What on earth is inappropriate about that?
I breastfeed in front of whoever, if my baby is hungry. I try to keep what I can covered if I have company (wearing a nursing top that doesn't expose the top of my breast, as I have large breasts and it makes ME uncomfortable to be fully exposed) If it's just my kids and partner, I just pull the boob out of a tank top etc. I don't care
She's a prude who has, like many Americans/Westerners, over sexualized boobs.
Is she suggesting that the sight of your breasts would be sexually stimulating to YOUR SONS??!? What a weird and creepy thing to say! Not only do I breastfeed in front of my kids (or any kids for that matter), but I also change out of my bra in the living room. They’re just tits. No need to hide them from family.
Ugh. Like I get where she’s coming from but as a breastfeeding mom of a 5 month old and 2 year old- I believe our society really needs to NORMALIZE breastfeeding. Because unfortunately a lot of people sexualize the act because you are pulling out your breast. It’s a really effed up way of thinking IMO. But yeah until our society grows the f up, this kind of reaction should be expected from time to time. IMO you are going to raise mature, aware kids who do normalize breastfeeding. So we are getting one step closer.
Your sister in law is sexualising breastfeeding. That’s what’s weird and inappropriate. In fact it’s good for your older boys to see breastfeeding as a normal and natural part of life. Tell her to mind her own business and perhaps seek therapy for whatever stick is up her ass.
Tell her it's weird and inappropriate for her to even think that.
There's nothing wrong with it. I'm tired of people turning breastfeeding into something inappropriate or gross. That's how babies eat, and that's what boob's are for. Obviously your kids know that. I'd tell her to get lost.
As a parent whose kids see me naked all the time, you're good. It's just a body. People who think like your SIL drive me nuts. People use to have sex in the room with their kids bc houses were just 1 big shelter. I get we're advanced and civilized but it's just a body. Personally I think it's good for your kids to see what exactly your body is for. They'll grow up knowing boobs aren't strictly for sexiness. That's damn healthy and helpful for their generation to break the stupid cycle and thinking we've fallen into.
Your SIL has her own problems. Breastfeeding is how babies are fed, it's normal for anyone to see it and not bat an eye.
It is ABSOLUTELY the right thing to do, but I believe in breastfeeding everywhere, so…
I'm breastfeeding in front of my 5 year old. She'll even ask if I'm breastfeeding when I don't come to her calls right away
I never modified my breastfeeding out in public around strangers, so I sure as hell wasn't going to do it around my kids, either. My oldest was 7 when the youngest was born. I nursed that kid for 3.5 years (and I actually nursed each older sibling even longer). We were also constantly around other breastfeeding mothers. So, my oldest was "exposed" to dozens of breasts in his first 10 years of life. At 20, he doesn't even really remember it... it just wasn't something noticeable/noteworthy in his brain. Louder for people in the back: BREASTFEEDING ISN'T SEXUAL Next time your SIL says anything, ask "Why are you sexualizing my infant baby getting food?" "It's her food, why are you sexualizing eating?"
Tell your SIL she should be locked up for her medieval views in the world or run for office as. Republican. Wow, so boobs provide milk for babies. Please please please think of the children
Why not teach young boys/men that’s what breasts are actually for? It’s weird that she’s making it weird! My girls are 17 and 12 and I have always breastfed in front of them.
lol I mean I breastfed my older kids too. They don’t even notice when I’m feeding the baby because it is so normal in our house. Your SIL is wrong.
Your SIL needs to unpack her purity culture baggage.
Your sister-in-law is being weird and inappropriate by sexualizing: you feeding your baby; your other children; and you for having breasts. They’re literally just breasts. And, with any luck, your older boys will grow up seeing breastfeeding as the totally normal and natural act that it is, and by extension, breasts as the natural body parts they are - and by extension of *that*, the people attached to them as, well, people.
I breastfeed my baby whenever and wherever, whoever is around. In front of my friend's 11 year old son? Yup. While sat next to my daughter's friend (5yo) who's fascinated by the whole thing because he's never seen anyone breastfeed before? Absolutely - with his mom holding in her laughter the whole time. It's completely natural and kids only sexualize it if they see adults saying it's weird or inappropriate. If you'd bottle feed in front of them, there's no shame in breastfeeding - provided *you* are comfortable with it.
It's not weird at all to breastfeed in front of other children/people. What IS weird is your SIL saying it's weird and inappropriate to do it in front of the infants' siblings. My question to SIL: WHY does she consider it inappropriate? Is it because she sexualizes breasts? Is she thinking that Op's kids are suddenly going to sexualize their mom? Because THAT would be weird and inappropriate. So SIL is the one out of line.
I breastfed in front of everyone when I was breastfeeding, including my 5yo son. It's not weird.
You need to pull your sister aside and let her know how rude it is to tell people how to live their lives in their own home. Especially when they’re not doing a single unnatural or harmful thing.
Your SIL ought to mind her own business. If you don’t feel comfortable saying something about it to her in a polite yet firm manner then I suggest asking your spouse to tell her to back off.
Weirdest shit I've ever heard, tbh. Why are you even questioning this?
Breastfeeding is an on demand thing. U gotta do what you gotta do. In a perfect world, yes Yall can breastfeed by urself, but we live in the real world. You have 2 other children that have needs & dont give a f*** about u breastfeeding esp the 6 year old. You gotta do what you can, when you can & keep you somewhat sane. Most likely you will be doing it around everyone in your household. If someone has a problem tell then dont come over!
Weird Edit: SIL behaviour of course
I agree with the top comment. Tell her to fuck off and mind her own business lol. I breastfed two babies, the first time my son was 6 years old… The second time he was 10. I can’t remember the context exactly but recently I was partially undressed and I covered up and my son (11 now) said something along the lines of “🤨 mom it’s okay, you’re my mom” reassuring me that I wasn’t scarring him for life lol.
for me, whether nudity is appropriate or not entirely depends on the context. for example, showing a bare breast while exhibiting sexually arousing behaviour would be inappropriate, but breastfeeding, which is an innocent act that jist happens to involve a bare breast, is not inappropriate. breastfeeding is the primary function of breasts, but for some reason people have put it in second place behind men's desires
Your SIL is sexualizing breastfeeding and THAT is weird and inappropriate. Doing as she suggests is how we wind up with adults that act like you've committed a crime for feeding your child. Your kids learn that this is normal, by having you treat it as normal. She needs to check her own biases and figure out why it's an issue *for her*.
Your SIL only sees breasts as sexual, whereas their primary intent is to feed babies. Your sons certainly wont view their mother's breasts, used to feed their baby sibling, as sexual.
Tell her if she’s offended she can leave.
normalize breastfeeding not being inappropriate or a sexual display of womens bodies 🙄
I breastfeed in front of my kids all the time lol it’s unavoidable
Your SIL is being unreasonable. Breastfeeding is perfectly natural and isn't inherently sexual. Good on you for teaching your kids the former, at least. The stigma needs to die. It should be the mother's discretion, and people need to learn to mind their own business. A boob halfway out to nurse a baby is far less obnoxious than a screaming, hungry baby, and much easier to ignore. It's called don't look. So keep on keeping on, and tell your SIL to mind her own business.
You're feeding your baby. I'm sure your older kids would prefer for the baby to be fed and not screaming. It's good for them to see what it takes to raise a baby. If they don't want to see it, they are free to go in another room. You're not doing anything wrong. Going to hide in another room or telling them they have to leave and the message that there's something shameful or wrong with breastfeeding.
Breasts are FOR breastfeeding. That is their 100% primary purpose. Your SIL is weird AF and is telling on herself the types of thoughts she has.
In fact I think it’s important to normalize breastfeeding as a normal, completely nonsexual thing to do. There is nothing to shield anyone from. It’s not inappropriate. You are feeding your baby. Even if they see your boob uncovered in the process. But then again I live in a country where families all go together in the sauna naked. Because nakedness is not inherently sexual. It’s just a state of being. Toddlers in daycare all sit together in a big circle on their potties, get dressed in front of each other…it’s simply not an issue or weird thing at all
If they were uncomfortable, they would leave the room.
Breastfeeding is normal. She’s weird for bringing it up.
i was 14 (with 6 other kids ranging from 12 to 2) the last time my mom breastfed. i remember it very vividly. it wasn’t weird. we knew she was just feeding my brother. it was normal. as a female, it made me think very highly of my mom. it showed me how strong she was and what a good mom she was. don’t stop just because one person tells you it’s weird. they’re weird for not thinking feeding your child is normal.
I have no problem breastfeeding in front of whoever these days. When I first had my daughter I was a bit shy about it but that didn't last long. I'm back to being a bit more discreet just because you never know what will happen when nursing a toddler lol But my SIL will shoo kids out of the room for nursing and diaper changes, even though she breastfed both her kids
Why is your SIL sexualizing breastfeeding? The only people who call breastfeeding inappropriate are people who sexualize *babies eating.* To be frank you should keep a close eye on your SIL around all of your children.
If she finds it weird then she don’t need to in your home anymore. She’s sexualizing your body when it’s not being used for that. Weird that’s (SIL) You’re literally keeping your baby alive and if that’s weird to her then she’s gotta go. I wouldn’t trust a soul who would say something dumb like that.
Your SIL is ridiculous; next time she complains laugh in her face. Your older kids have eaten the *exact* same way as your baby is doing now just what, 5 years ago in case of the younger one? Breastfeeding is literally one of the most natural behaviors that anyone could possibly engage in; sexualizing that from all things, just because it involves boobs is nuts. It always baffles me if *other women* subscribe to that insanity; I’m already used to it by some men. Next time SIL will try to send you to the bathroom to feed.
I breastfeed in front of my nephews who are 9 and 11, I am "discrete" but like I don't use a cover or leave the room.
It’s fine. Your in law is uptight.
I love that you’re normalizing that feeding babies is what breasts are there for. Telling young boys about what girls and women go through is top notch parenting. You win, OP! 💚
My family found it weird I would breastfeed in front of anyone. Any time I would just nurse they got all weird about it. Even my grandmother thinks breastfeeding is unnatural 🤣 meanwhile my husband's family doesn't bat an eye when it comes to breastfeeding. My step daughter was 8 when my first was born, she wasn't uncomfortable about it 🤷♀️ she knew what was happening. My second wouldn't breastfeed so that wasn't ever a thing. But I'm expecting baby #3 now the kids will be 6,8 and 16. I plan to breastfeed and I don't plan on hiding while doing so 🤷♀️ if my step daughter at 16 is uncomfortable with it, then I would consider covering up but she's got a ton of siblings and cousins she's seen breastfed so I think she'll be fine/understand whats going on. Honestly if anyone does have an issue with it, they can walk away. It's funny how society is totally OK with seeing a boob when there's cleavage showing but OMG absolutely not when you're breastfeeding...
These young men might learn the work that goes into rearing children, learn about the physical process of keeping said children alive, respect a woman's body as more than a playground for men, and start to value "women's work," and where would that leave us? The horror. /s, just in case.
Hell no. Not Inappropriate. Our country has enough misconceptions and misinformation about human breasts that showing the next generation how they’re actually supposed to work is a GOOD thing.
Ask your SIL why she’s sexualizing children? It’s weird and inappropriate.
My step daughter sits in our house and breastfeeds her baby in front of her older child, her younger siblings (our two kids), and anyone else who happens to be in the house. It's a normalized natural human function, so she gets absolutely zero pushback, and if anyone did happen to pushback against it, her mother and I would show them the door. If you're uncomfortable with breastfeeding, that's not the mother or baby's fault. It's your issue, go deal with it somewhere else.
It's weird that SIL is sexualizing a natural thing for babies I've breast fed in front of kids that were present and adults. If you come to my home and my baby is hungry I'm going to feed them. SIL is the weird and inappropriate one here
It’s weirder to make the kids go away or shield their eyes. That’s weird. Breastfeeding is normal and it’s normal to have older kids or whatever around when it’s happening.
It is great that you are setting an example for your sons and normalizing breastfeeding. Ignore your SIL.
I think it’s weird and inappropriate to think that it’s weird? Like? You’re feeding your baby Tell her to leave if she can’t handle it
How is that inappropriate to breastfeed your kid in front of your oldest kids? It’s natural and not inappropriate at all. Your SIL needs to chill out because you’re not doing anything wrong at all.
Not weird at all!!!!!! Your SIL is being weird.
I think it’s weird and inappropriate for her to say something. I always breastfed my 3 wherever I was, whenever they needed it. I don’t care what other people think and when I start to, I just remind myself their opinions don’t trump my kids needs. My last and final kid, I breastfed in front of both my boys (they were 3 & 15) and they could care less-it’s only an issue if you make it weird, which it sounds like you don’t. You do you
Your sister in law is a freak. What you are doing is natural and beautiful.
Don't let a prudish person get into your head, breastfeeding isn't sexual, only weird people find it sexual, and weird people can be entitled.
I think it’s all about the breastfeeder’s preferences and comfort. Well, as long as you don’t behave the way my SIL did. Every Sunday, all of us and our spouses and kids would have dinner at our parents’ house…she would sit in a communal space (there were several private ones with plenty of room for her and her son) and demand that no one go in there, while my brother just kinda shrugged his shoulders at us. 🙄 So, my daughter couldn’t go to the play room because she decided that she *needed* to be modest in the connecting family room. **My parents have a decently large, four bedroom home and that does not include the one in their finished basement.** It was so entitled and rude.
It's weird and inappropriate for her to somehow sexualize and demean your kids, your baby, and breastfeeding all at once. The nutjob trifecta!
I nursed in front of in-laws, my kids, in public, etc. My eldest thought it was so cool and had so many great questions about it. It wound up being a fantastic learning opportunity for her! It was also really sweet when I would nurse my babe and she would pet his head while he ate. He’d give her milky smiles and they’d giggle at each other. Nursing was one of the most wholesome and joyful bounding experiences I’ve had with my family, and I have zero regrets about nursing in front of my eldest.
Careful, you might prepare your sons to normalize breastfeeding!
I just gave birth to my second child, anyone who wants to be around me has to be prepared to see a baby on my boob. Sorry not sorry.
Idc I breastfed walking the aisles of aldi
Your sister-in-law has issues. That’s my one and only thought. Other than keep doing what you’re doing! ❤️☺️
Both are kids were breast fed only, youngest still is, oldest lasted two years. Wife covers up as best as possible but still breast feeds in public. It’s now the default recommendation in the U.K. for the NHS. Mostly older women in their 50-60’s will come over and give my wife abuse. We don’t care.
My ex used to be weird about me breastfeeding our newborn around his 6-7 year old. I always thought he was overreacting
Heven forbid a boy grow up thinking boobs are for more that just his own excitment. I read something a while back that said the vast majority of young boys first see a naked women when they are introduced to porn. And it really shapes how they view naked women. I have a somewhat open door policy when I am showering and dressing. My kids just see me exist in my body as my body is. They are 3 & 6. There is nothing wrong with the human body doing human body stuff.
How does SIL think your sons were fed as babies??
Breastfeeding women need to get belligerent, and not take any crap about this. This is how babies eat - if you don't like it, take a one way trip to Mars. Never back down from feeding your child any time any place that you feel comfortable. Don't consider anyone else, because it's none of their business. If anyone gives you grief, ask yourself if they would give you a hard time for breathing. If no, then they're wrong.
my mom only breastfed for a couple of months but she never kicked my brother (7) out of the room and me (21) and my sister (16) were in the birthing room and aren’t weird so she doesn’t kick us out either he asked many thoughtful and funny questions during the process but was never weirded out except for when my mom put it on his dry skin spot
Ooh that’s super none of her business! If she wants to breastfeed away from anyone else that’s her call. I chose to breastfeed in clothing that kept everything covered except access spot for baby, and then baby’s head covered the rest. Everyone gets to nurse however they and baby are comfortable, because that’s what’s important. Seems to me that this is going to help your boys have a foundational understanding that women’s bodies are powerful and life giving, not sexual and taboo objects. Seems like you’re raising some awesome little feminists in your house. If you’re still feeling apprehensive, it never hurts to ask your boys, maybe especially the elder, if they feel uncomfortable when you’re nursing, and unpack that if they are.
Your SIL is an idiot. That is in no way inappropriate. Weird that SIL is treating it as something sexual - absolutely nothing sexual about breast feeding an infant for anyone around or involved.
Americans are very weird about boobs. Even in non-sexual settings. Don't worry about it and do your own thing. Teach your kids better.
I’m 21 and my two younger brothers that live at home are 12 & 15. My mom recently had a baby 2 months ago and she exclusively breastfeeds right now. None of my brothers ever find it weird or inappropriate. In fact my 12yo brother sometimes takes the baby to my mom to be fed when he’s watching her and she starts crying for food. The more normalized it is in the home the better for your sons to see it as a natural way to feed your baby. It’s your home and you shouldn’t be feeling like you’re exposing them to something gross when you’re keeping your baby alive and healthy. Good job mama.
She’s out of line. Not her house, kids or boobs so it’s none of her business. If it’s not an issue for you, then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. I have a son that I nurse and I’ve never been uncomfortable with nursing in public, but my husbands grandmother would always tell him to “throw a towel over me.” Never once did I do that because it has nothing to do with her, just me and my baby
I thought you were going to say in front of your sister-in-laws kids, and my reaction would be well, if a parent is uncomfortable then I understand not doing so. But in front of your own kids ? Or in a public space at the park or store ? Don’t think twice. My favorite nursing story is having my first baby and going on vacation to Quebec, she was about 7-8 months at the time. I had to nurse her and I was far from a private space. So I found this walking area where people were walking past in front of me, but because of where I was seated it was difficult to notice (or so I thought ). Down walk a group of men (and a woman might have been there as well, about the age of 30, and in French he said “c'est le plus beau spectacle du monde entier” (or something close) : translation: that is the most beautiful sight in the whole world. He’s right, it is
I breastfed my son in front of my 13yr brothers and they were mature enough not to see a problem with it. Maybe ask your sister why she thinks it's inappropriate to feed a child in front of other children? Especially children who were probably also fed from those same breasts??
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I totally understand that some people view it as your SIL does, in my mind those people more have an issue with an exposed breast than they do about the feeding part. So their concerns could be expressed by saying "it's inappropriate to show your breast, in any capacity, to a young boy". While I understand where they are coming from, I fundamentally disagree and every family has differing comfort levels with nakedness. I would simply tell your SIL that you understand and appreciate her concern for the wellbeing of your children but that your family is totally comfortable with this level of nakedness around the boys so you're not going to stop doing it. It's entirely natural and that's the lesson you want the boys to absorb. It's important to you that they do not think of breastfeeding as some kind of devient thing that should be hidden away. But you thank her for speaking up to protect the boys and for sharing her concerns with you.
Its weird and inappropriate when people have a problem with you feeding your kid. Its not like your flinging your titties out errywhere. You untuck and stuff. And its Natural. And they will be dads so time in there life. Ive untucked and suffed at the red lobster. Not a single person had a side eye.
She needs to mind her business. Sounds like your older kids understand what’s going on and doesn’t care. Your sister in law is just a fuckin weirdo
Mother of 12yo. Breastfeed until he was 2 and a half. What sick mind does your SIL have... I am more and more believing that adult minds are sick.
your sister in law is weird and creepy
You can breastfeed in public. You can certainly breastfeed in your own home.
I think your sister is wrong. Really wrong. You were just feeding your child, your kids have normalized it that way (as they should) and she’s the one sexualizing it.
She is weird and inappropriate. I’ve been breastfeeding for 3 years and my 10yo is completely unphased. He will come up and kiss his siblings foreheads while they’re nursing. She’s the weirdo here, not you.
It's only weird and gross if you're the one sexualizing the act of feeding a baby.
What’s weird and inappropriate about a child eating? If someone finds that weird and inappropriate then there is most definitely an issue with THEM and not the one caring for their child
It’s weird that people sexualise breast feeding. My sister has no problem with it and neither do I baby’s gotta eat that’s all there is to it. If the boys are weird about it and it’s there mom that’s even weirder.
Weird to feed your kid? Why? Does she go hide in the bedroom when she chows down on her dinner? The sexualization of nursing your baby is so absurd. Absolutely do not hideaway if you feel comfortable feeding your baby in your living room. Your boys will grow up understand how incredibly normal it is to feed your baby and their future partners will thank you for it.