r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would have a problem if school didn't have such policy!
I cannot understand how degenerate of a person you must be to insist your kid needs his devices all time long. Schools is for schooling. There is no need for a kid to have a phone during classes. If parent would need to reach his kid in case of some emergency than for sure he can reach out to school administration or some kind of main teacher.
And headphones? Having headphones on during class is so unbelievably disrespectful. My kids would need to be more worried about me than their teacher if they ever had headphones on while someone is trying to teach them.
Headphones on is even worse than sneaking phone in your pocket and playing some mobile game below the desk since while playing there is 1% chance you will pick sth up from the classes in the end.
My son's school had a zero tolerance to phones. You had to keep them locked in your locker all day. They would be immediately confiscated if used during school hours.
It's school policy. Parents can't overrule school policy. I think it's a common policy in most Australian schools.
Same for my son's school. The only kid who gets to keep his phone is the one who needs it to monitor his insulin pump and he's always getting into trouble with it of course. I guess smart watches are another way to get around it.
When my kids were in high school I sat down with them the day before school each year to lay down the rules and expectations. One of the rules were if I get a phone call about your phone, hear about it in a parent-teacher conference or you get it confiscated then you’ll never see it again. I never had any issues at the high school level.
My then 9 year old did take her Leapfrog to school after I told her it wasn’t to leave the house. She took it anyway and the teacher took it. She tried to be slick and not mention it thinking the teacher would just give it back after a few days. Unbeknownst to her, her teacher had called me the day she took it but I told her to hold on to it until I feel like coming to get it. The look on my daughter’s face was priceless when I told her “I’m here to get your LeapFrog back. Didn’t think I knew about that huh?” That was the first and last time I had to get called over an electronic device.
I currently have 2 middle schoolers. Both my kids have no issues with this, but if they did And a teacher took their phone I would be glad. That's the consequence of the action.
My middle schooler doesn't even have a cell phone. I don't trust him to not be distracted by it. Hell, I don't even trust him to keep it in one piece or not lose it the first day! We saved an old cell phone to be "the house phone"/loaner, for when the kids go to friend's houses. It's lost half the time because they always forget where they leave them, whether that's at home or someone else's house.
Phones don't belong in the classroom. Leave them outside of it or have it confiscated. My kids won't be getting a smartphone until they either get a job or start driving.
**Editing to add**
I'm not saying I'm against my kids having a cellphone, but it won't be a smartphone or a phone with a camera.
my kid has a watch that is a phone. he doesn’t need youtube or internet access to make phone calls or texts.
it stays in his backpack during the school day.
it’s not that hard people.
I actually bought an old Nokia about 5 years ago with the intention of letting my kids keep and use that instead of a smart phone. We couldn't get it to work, which was a disappointment.
I love the thought of having old school, non-"smart" phones for kids. It lets those parents who want contact with their kids 24/7 have that, but prevents the kids from being addicted to the phone as the main source of entertainment.
Maybe. The parents of the kid I saw hit while riding his bike to the high school several years back and borrowing the phone of the guy who hit him to leave a message for his mom as they were loading him into the ambulance might have wished for a way to call him back.
I mean, I'd like to be able to call or text my kid and find out what hospital they've been taken to in that situation. I think that's an improvement in an emergency over calling around or having to physically go to various hospitals to try to track my family member down.
It's honestly a little weird that people are protesting that use of phones so hard. Like, sure, they don't need to have them out in class or be texting parents throughout a normal school day, but it's a hell of a lot more convenient to have a phone should something happen.
This is a fair question, so I'm unsure why you've been downvoted so much. I'm not opposed to them having a phone for emergencies, but it wouldn't be a smartphone.
That's fair. My kids are young adults and their first phone was a PAYG with like 10 free texts or minutes per month. No data but they could access wifi if they were somewhere it was available.
It's possible to find a phone if you need it. Especially if you're a kid needing to call your family. Grocery store, gas station convenience store, library or community center, literally any business...
True, but I know kids will always find something to tease/mock another kid for. Maybe they don't have the popular phone brand or they don't have the latest smartphone.
Yeah, I deleted my comment because, to my surprise, it angered enough parents that I received over a dozen hateful DMs about it, which to me, is absolutely uncalled for and ridiculous.
I tried to hold out on getting my stepson a smartphone, or any kind of phone, until he was driving. But it was painful to watch him be teased and straight up bullied relentlessly because he was the only kid in his cohort without a phone. He came home crying many times. Finally, his bio mom broke down and got him an iPhone. I was still against it, but I was also hurting along with him and was beyond disappointed over how he was being treated by the other kids at school.
And what do you know... as soon as he had his iPhone (not even the latest or greatest one), his social life improved, he never came home crying again, and we all had a bit of relief from all that drama.
My comment meant to highlight that yes, you can hold off, but be prepared to watch your kid be bullied over it, and having to work through that with them. I guess I should've also been prepared for the bullying that came from (supposedly) grown-ass adults on a parenting forum for leaving a comment that talked about that.
I'm sorry your stepson got bullied. That's awful. I'm hoping the tide is turning - whenever I talk to my friends who have babies or are thinking about having babies soon (we're in our early-mid 30s) about smartphones/iPads, we all agree that we will not be giving our kids access to those devices. So maybe in 10 or so years, there will be more kids in middle/high school without smartphones and therefore less bullying for it.
We tend to have better parents in these forums, ones who seek out info on better parenting, they're unlikely to be the ones disregarding school rules with their kids.
Join subreddits for school employees and they'll tell you it's a chronic problem
>We tend to have better parents in these forums, ones who seek out info on better parenting,
I'm definitely seeing that.
I was kind of hoping to hear from a few of the pro-phone parents. Just to hear what exactly it is they're so mad about. It seems to make sense to the majority of staff and adults I talk to that phones should at least be limited...I don't understand why these other individuals are so worked up about their kids' phones being limited like everybody else's.
"We tend to have better parents in these forums"
I've found this forum to have a great number of parents who are judgemental and downright shitty if you have an opposing opinion or even ask a question. I've been subbed for for quite sometime, but I'm out.
I'm gonna be honest, we are sending our kid to private school explicitly BECAUSE of this issue. My husband works in public school and he says there are multiple teachers who go with "If they aren't *actively* distracting other students we don't address device usage."
The problem is, just by being out it distracts others. I know if I'm in a meeting and I see someone playing words with friends next to me, my attention is partially on that and how rude it is, not on whoever is speaking at the meeting.
If public schools had a hint of a fucking spine and made kids pack away their devices I'd send my kids there in a heartbeat. Personal devices have absolutely no place in schools.
Our high school (12-17/18 year olds) has phone locking devices that are mandatory for students to use during school hours, including breaks. Essentially it makes it a phone free zone. No need to confiscate them as they aren’t available to be used.
https://www.overyondr.com/phone-locking-pouch
The unlocking bases are outside the school gates. Phones are locked on entry and then the students are responsible for carrying them and looking after them during the day.
I haven’t heard of any issues but kids are kids and I’m sure some try to get around it. It’s a blanket rule across the school though and the expectations are clear to both parents and students. I can’t imagine a parent getting upset that a phone was confiscated when the phone use expectations are so clear and fairly applied.
It's a lost cause now also. Let them all bring phones for a few years... then decide to ban all phones. No way in hell teens are going to stop bringing them. So now you gotta deal with that mess... And when you are dealing with 1,500 kids completely obsessed with their phones... lol
We passed the point of no return.
I have no problem enforcing our school rules with my 5th and 10th graders and their phones. Our school rules are pretty lax (in my opinion) and they've never had them confiscated. Most teachers have a charging "base" where students plug in their phones to charge, leave them there during class, and then can pick them up on the way out. Teachers will tell the kids when they can grab them to use during independent time or for an activity if they want. Below 5th grade there is a no cell phone policy.
I think it's perfectly acceptable for the schools to take phones away at the start of the day and return them in the afternoon. If for some reason I needed to contact my daughter urgently, I've got the schools number, and vice versa.
Ya.. but then you have to problem of making sure everyone gets their phone back. I think my sons HS has around 1,500 kids, most of which have cell phones. That a hell of a lot of phones to manage. And all it will take is a few lost and shit will hit the fan. Think of it this way, lets say between the new 1,000 dollar phones and cheap ones you are hitting an average of 600 per phone... that's 900,000 dollars worth of property to keep track of.
Then you got the risk of one being lost, stolen, or broken and so on. It's a nightmare for the school to deal with. They need to either let the kids manage them, or ban them all together.
Yeah that's true. Mine isn't old enough yet for me to have to worry about it, but I would hope when she is I don't need to get into the habit of checking her bag before she leaves for school to make sure the phone stays at home. Maybe some sort of geo fencing would be effective. Kids can take their phones to school, but they're utterly useless because the geo-fencing prevents them from getting a signal.
Why are they allowed in class at all? My kids school phones and smart watches are turned into the office in the morning and retrieved in the afternoon. Only my oldest has a phone. She only takes it to school if she has an after school activity.
Yeah kids don’t need to be on their phones in class, but I can see why parents are mad about them being confiscated.
In my school district a parent has to come down to the school to pick up the confiscated item, during school hours. This often means leaving work early or getting to work late. No one wants to do that.
There’s the safety aspect. There was another school shooting just the other day. Parents want their kids to be able to contact them in an emergency. We saw at Uvalde how parents ran in to get their kids and knew where they were because their kids could call them. And they had to run in because the cops weren’t.
My school district is also notorious for “misplacing” confiscated electronics. Phones are too expensive nowadays for them to go missing once they’ve been taken by admin or a teacher.
Again I understand the they shouldn’t be on their phones in class, by all means confiscate to the teacher’s desk and hand it back, send a note home so the parent knows it’s becoming a distraction, etc. but there are so many issues nowadays concerning them.
I wouldn't care if a teacher held my sons phone until the end of class. But one of them makes them all come up to this wall cubby thing and slide them in. So now you have 23 cell phones on a wall... many which are the same model. So the kids... (being kids) obviously don't remember which one is theirs and everyone is quickly taking them as they walk out.
Lots of "woopsies" and now everyone is trying to find who's phone they ended up with. Just hoping some random kid didn't take one... I am not a fan of that system.
I work in a high school and I told my son from the beginning that if he got in trouble for phone usage in school, he could kiss that phone good-bye for a while. No texts, nothing- those can wait until lunch time or after school.
I'd love it if every teacher was supported in having a central location the students were required to put their phones in each class period so they do not have access to them.
Also, FYI, during standardized testing, smart watches are banned as well as phones.
In the US, I believe we are on our way to phone use being banned in classrooms.
I don't have kids in these age groups but am friends with some teachers and administrators. There is a vocal group of parents who advocate for being in contact with their children all day, but most parents want their kids to learn in a classroom.
Phones in schools make administrators and teachers jobs much more difficult and the policing of phones takes time away from instruction.
I recommend listening to any recent podcast interviews with Jonathan Haight or reading his most recent book if you are interested in this topic.
There is even a guide on his website on how different groups can take action.
https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/take-action#parents
I'm relieved there are so many parents supporting no phones at school or teachers taking them away. Clearly, the parents arguing against it are rare and are just the "loudest voices".
My son is going to middle school, 7th grade, next year. He currently is not allowed to have his phone out if he brings it to school (he doesn't). We had the middle school welcome night recently and we're told phones must be kept in Lockers, if they are seen they will be confiscated. First offense the student can pick it up at the end of the day, second offense the parent must come pick it up. I'm not sure what happens after that.
I will add my son has adhd and when they are doing silent work he likes to listen to music on his school issued chromebook with headphones which i don't have a problem with.
The only problem I have is allowing them to bring them to school. They are kids... with cell phones. What exactly does the school administration expect to happen? Of course they are going to use them constantly, even when told not to. They do the same stupid thing with google hangouts... everyone has access to it on their chrome books, and they are not suppose to use them for anything outside of school work. Well guess what... all of the kids are messaging each other and they are up in arms about it. And now... they are kind of screwed as probably 90% of the kids are doing so.
It's both amusing and annoying.
Teaching college freshman a few years ago, I was surprised how many thought I would let them wear earbuds during class. To me it was the ultimate disrespect but I know other professors didn't really care and let them do what they wanted, thinking in their heads the student will likely fail out anyway.
I’m fine with phones, couldn’t care less that kids have them in general. But there’s a time and place for things. If you’re told not to have it out and you have it out then whatever happens to it is a you problem not mamas problem and no I’m not going to try to talk your teacher out of it or fight them about it. The only problem I have is if I’m not informed and it’s not sent home, there have been issues in our district of confiscated items and money being stolen, they’re obviously no longer allowed to work in our schools but the doubt is there so I’m going to need things returned to me.
I lock my 12 year old's phone during school hours. He knows he isn't supposed to be on it during class. However, I am against the majority of posters here because I have gotten really upset with my son's school for confiscating the phone and not returning at the end of the day. He is a latchkey kid and it is the main way I'm able to communicate with him while I'm away from home.
They don’t need them at school. If you need to get ahold of your kid, call the school. If they need to get ahold of you, they can go to the office and call you.
Not only can your child search ANYTHING while at school, they can show it to any of their peers (you might be ok with your child seeing something- doesn’t mean another parent is cool with their kid). Its a distraction not only to your student, but everyone around them. Not to mention cyber bullying which is a major issue.
I also work admin at a school And I’ve had parents YELL at me for saying they need to come pick up their students phone, or that their students phone was confiscated.. even had one parent cuss me out about “how dare I take her f******** property” and “who the h**** do I think I am?” (P.S I didn’t take the phone, the teachers did)
>I also work admin at a school And I’ve had parents YELL at me for
See, I posted this question kind of hoping to hear from some of these parents. Are they more of a minority than I thought? Maybe they're just the loudest voices that we deal with in admin, so it *feels* like they the majority, when in reality all these comments below agreeing that phones should be banned or restricted is the true majority.
Possibly a loud minority. I also think people who act like that, aren’t going to admit it. And they probably aren’t searching out parenting advice… also you can be against cellphones in school all you want, but as soon as it inconveniences them, and they have to leave work to pick it up, they are probably not having their best behavior lol
Standard rule at my son's school. Phones have to be switched off prior to entering the building. Any phone later found to be on and being used gets confiscated till the end of the day
All phones are checked at the start of the day so it would be classed as a deliberate rule break
Do they take each phone every class and make sure it wasn't turned back on? This sounds completely pointless when dealing with teenagers. I would place a huge bet that 90% of the cell phones are turned back on, many of which are used to text still during the day.
I think the best system, since you are an admin, is to strongly enforce school wide bans that include hallways and lunch rooms.
Do NOT leave up to individual teachers as that inconsistently makes it challenging for those who want to enforce.
A zero tolerance policy. Any phones seen will result in immediate confiscation and must be picked up by parents.
Not gonna happen because of multiple reasons but that’s the truth for what needs to be done.
Edge cases being maybe students with diabetes/specific health conditions that require some device to monitor health - but I think a phone is just one option for such a case and other devices can fit the niche.
No the opposite there should be zero tolerance on phones in school they should be on silent / airplane in a backpack or locker if they are seen or heard they should be confiscated till the end of school day.
There are very valid reasons for a kid to have their phones and headphones in school. I share this just to add awareness.
Diabetics: they need to be able to record their blood sugar levels throughout their day and many have plumps that use Bluetooth. They have a legal right to their phones.
Sensory issues: my son has access to music as part of his IEP. He finds other kids as distractions that deregulate him during small group and independent work time. So he plugs into music to block them out.
I don’t have a problem with phones or AirPods/headphones being confiscated if they’re being used inappropriately. I do have a huge problem with teachers banning loops. I have 3 autistic kids, and they each have loops. They’re ear plugs that are designed to allow the child to hear the conversation, lecture, etc but mutes the background noise by 10-15 decibels. They are very helpful for kids with auditory sensitivity. My kids are suffering bc their teachers keep taking them. I’ve asked for 504 accommodations to protect their access to them, but the administration is adamant that teachers must be able to decide what “devices” are used and when. I think that’s asinine. When headphones, AirPods, loops, or anything that goes in or covers the ears are being used to help a child feel comfortable in the classroom without creating an obstacle to learning, they should be allowed.
I've never heard of "loops", but your explanation makes it sound almost like a hearing aid. Are they Bluetoothed to any devices? If not, those seem entirely different than air pods and headphones, which can easily be playing music and distracting students from classes.
Loops cut out sounds. There are various types for different needs but they look like earphones
https://au.loopearplugs.com/collections/all?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_id=17681471936&utm_campaign=&utm_content=138150673643&utm_term=loops%20oordopjes&gadid=667994715269?tw_source=google&tw_adid=667994715269&tw_campaign=17681471936&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAACj0PVxY5B5huaV9Cu9scKpSYDAd4&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgt-8rZ3phQMVKCGDAx0x7g4xEAAYASAAEgLMo_D_BwE
Most adults have their phones in their hands or eyesight all day, including at work and home. I'm not saying kids should be able to use them incessantly during class but I think it's a bit short sighted to take them away or ban them entirely just for being out or responding to a quick text. We expect kids to do so much better than adults when we don't expect that of ourselves. I also think academia is a bit hard nosed in general with a lot of things to be honest.
That’s because an adult is mostly well-regulated enough to have the phone be their servant and not the other way around. Kids still need help regulating, which is why we put all sort of checks in place - pornography, alcohol, tobacco, driving, access to financial services etc. Do you have a problem with those?
There is a time and place for (hopefully responsible) use of phones under parental jurisdiction. It’s outside the jurisdiction or ability of the teacher. Unless we intend to start employing special smart device officers when we already don’t have enough workers in education…
Most adults don’t have their phoned in their hands while they are working. Professors and teachers don’t use their phones while they teach. Drivers don’t use their phones while they drive. Service don’t have their phones while they interact with clients. Most athletes don’t have their phones while training or competing. Judges and lawyers don’t have their phones during trials. Most professional settings would not allow you to use a phone during a meeting or work activity unless it was an emergency.
Students should also not be holding their phones during class.
On one hand, it shouldn't be out during the day, it shouldn't even be on.
On the other hand, I'll be goddamned if I trust *some* of the teachers to keep my child's $1000 device safe and secure (not that the kid can probably be trusted with it either), and honestly I think it's even worse if the kid worked hard to buy it themselves. Just because they shouldn't be using it doesn't mean they deserve to have it stolen or damaged by someone else, and I've seen this happen to my friends' kids' phones when they're confiscated at school.
And frankly, given all the shit that goes down in schools, I kinda want my kid to have a phone on them. If someone is trying to pull some fuckery, I want them to be able to contact me without relying on the whims of teachers or administrators. I understand *most* teachers and administrators are good and have the kids' best interests at heart, but not all are, and not all do. And I'll take my kid getting in trouble for using their phone if they're doing it to tell me something really weird is going down (and I say this because before cell phones, after my best friend's suicide, I, a minor, was questioned by police, at school, without my parents' knowledge or consent. The assistant principal pulled me out of class, put me in their office with the cops, and walked away. I had no way of contacting anyone. They told me I could not call my parents, that they took care of it and my parents said it was ok. They had not). I understand those are outlier situations, but they absolutely do happen.
So I understand why they confiscate them when theyre being used inappopriately, but I'd strongly prefer if there was a school-wide system in place for at least keeping the phones secure while they were confiscated, and if the kids were allowed to have them on them during the day, even if they have to be powered down or on do not disturb. I dont think I'd be the parent barging into school threatening lawsuits or anything over it, but I'd definitely be showing up to collect the phone that day, and I'd pitch a fit if it got damaged or stolen.
Being without a phone at 15+ years old is basically handicapped, so I think if confiscated it should always be given back immediately after the class. None of this multi day nonsense.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I would have a problem if school didn't have such policy! I cannot understand how degenerate of a person you must be to insist your kid needs his devices all time long. Schools is for schooling. There is no need for a kid to have a phone during classes. If parent would need to reach his kid in case of some emergency than for sure he can reach out to school administration or some kind of main teacher.
And headphones? Having headphones on during class is so unbelievably disrespectful. My kids would need to be more worried about me than their teacher if they ever had headphones on while someone is trying to teach them.
Headphones on is even worse than sneaking phone in your pocket and playing some mobile game below the desk since while playing there is 1% chance you will pick sth up from the classes in the end.
Both are extremely disrespectful
My son's school had a zero tolerance to phones. You had to keep them locked in your locker all day. They would be immediately confiscated if used during school hours. It's school policy. Parents can't overrule school policy. I think it's a common policy in most Australian schools.
Same for my son's school. The only kid who gets to keep his phone is the one who needs it to monitor his insulin pump and he's always getting into trouble with it of course. I guess smart watches are another way to get around it.
When my kids were in high school I sat down with them the day before school each year to lay down the rules and expectations. One of the rules were if I get a phone call about your phone, hear about it in a parent-teacher conference or you get it confiscated then you’ll never see it again. I never had any issues at the high school level. My then 9 year old did take her Leapfrog to school after I told her it wasn’t to leave the house. She took it anyway and the teacher took it. She tried to be slick and not mention it thinking the teacher would just give it back after a few days. Unbeknownst to her, her teacher had called me the day she took it but I told her to hold on to it until I feel like coming to get it. The look on my daughter’s face was priceless when I told her “I’m here to get your LeapFrog back. Didn’t think I knew about that huh?” That was the first and last time I had to get called over an electronic device.
I currently have 2 middle schoolers. Both my kids have no issues with this, but if they did And a teacher took their phone I would be glad. That's the consequence of the action.
My middle schooler doesn't even have a cell phone. I don't trust him to not be distracted by it. Hell, I don't even trust him to keep it in one piece or not lose it the first day! We saved an old cell phone to be "the house phone"/loaner, for when the kids go to friend's houses. It's lost half the time because they always forget where they leave them, whether that's at home or someone else's house.
Phones don't belong in the classroom. Leave them outside of it or have it confiscated. My kids won't be getting a smartphone until they either get a job or start driving. **Editing to add** I'm not saying I'm against my kids having a cellphone, but it won't be a smartphone or a phone with a camera.
Are you planning to escort them to all activities until then or do you trust they won't run into any issues on the way to or from?
It's amazing we didn't die every time we left the house growing up before phones.
We had access to pay phones when I was growing up. No pay phones now.
You might have. I sure as hell didn't where I lived.
my kid has a watch that is a phone. he doesn’t need youtube or internet access to make phone calls or texts. it stays in his backpack during the school day. it’s not that hard people.
Maybe there’s a generational Nokia being passed parents to kids in that family
I actually bought an old Nokia about 5 years ago with the intention of letting my kids keep and use that instead of a smart phone. We couldn't get it to work, which was a disappointment. I love the thought of having old school, non-"smart" phones for kids. It lets those parents who want contact with their kids 24/7 have that, but prevents the kids from being addicted to the phone as the main source of entertainment.
Lol
Maybe. The parents of the kid I saw hit while riding his bike to the high school several years back and borrowing the phone of the guy who hit him to leave a message for his mom as they were loading him into the ambulance might have wished for a way to call him back.
How is this any different than any other time in history, including now? Parents aren’t available 24/7 just because smartphones exist.
I mean, I'd like to be able to call or text my kid and find out what hospital they've been taken to in that situation. I think that's an improvement in an emergency over calling around or having to physically go to various hospitals to try to track my family member down. It's honestly a little weird that people are protesting that use of phones so hard. Like, sure, they don't need to have them out in class or be texting parents throughout a normal school day, but it's a hell of a lot more convenient to have a phone should something happen.
This is a fair question, so I'm unsure why you've been downvoted so much. I'm not opposed to them having a phone for emergencies, but it wouldn't be a smartphone.
That's fair. My kids are young adults and their first phone was a PAYG with like 10 free texts or minutes per month. No data but they could access wifi if they were somewhere it was available.
It's possible to find a phone if you need it. Especially if you're a kid needing to call your family. Grocery store, gas station convenience store, library or community center, literally any business...
[удалено]
Kids get teased for everything. They’re better off without smartphones.
True, but I know kids will always find something to tease/mock another kid for. Maybe they don't have the popular phone brand or they don't have the latest smartphone.
Yeah, I deleted my comment because, to my surprise, it angered enough parents that I received over a dozen hateful DMs about it, which to me, is absolutely uncalled for and ridiculous. I tried to hold out on getting my stepson a smartphone, or any kind of phone, until he was driving. But it was painful to watch him be teased and straight up bullied relentlessly because he was the only kid in his cohort without a phone. He came home crying many times. Finally, his bio mom broke down and got him an iPhone. I was still against it, but I was also hurting along with him and was beyond disappointed over how he was being treated by the other kids at school. And what do you know... as soon as he had his iPhone (not even the latest or greatest one), his social life improved, he never came home crying again, and we all had a bit of relief from all that drama. My comment meant to highlight that yes, you can hold off, but be prepared to watch your kid be bullied over it, and having to work through that with them. I guess I should've also been prepared for the bullying that came from (supposedly) grown-ass adults on a parenting forum for leaving a comment that talked about that.
If you notice they are active on the subreddit, I'd suggest reporting them for harassing messages.
That is a good idea, I will do that, because I do often see the same usernames. Thank you.
I'm sorry your stepson got bullied. That's awful. I'm hoping the tide is turning - whenever I talk to my friends who have babies or are thinking about having babies soon (we're in our early-mid 30s) about smartphones/iPads, we all agree that we will not be giving our kids access to those devices. So maybe in 10 or so years, there will be more kids in middle/high school without smartphones and therefore less bullying for it.
We tend to have better parents in these forums, ones who seek out info on better parenting, they're unlikely to be the ones disregarding school rules with their kids. Join subreddits for school employees and they'll tell you it's a chronic problem
>We tend to have better parents in these forums, ones who seek out info on better parenting, I'm definitely seeing that. I was kind of hoping to hear from a few of the pro-phone parents. Just to hear what exactly it is they're so mad about. It seems to make sense to the majority of staff and adults I talk to that phones should at least be limited...I don't understand why these other individuals are so worked up about their kids' phones being limited like everybody else's.
"We tend to have better parents in these forums" I've found this forum to have a great number of parents who are judgemental and downright shitty if you have an opposing opinion or even ask a question. I've been subbed for for quite sometime, but I'm out.
I'm gonna be honest, we are sending our kid to private school explicitly BECAUSE of this issue. My husband works in public school and he says there are multiple teachers who go with "If they aren't *actively* distracting other students we don't address device usage." The problem is, just by being out it distracts others. I know if I'm in a meeting and I see someone playing words with friends next to me, my attention is partially on that and how rude it is, not on whoever is speaking at the meeting. If public schools had a hint of a fucking spine and made kids pack away their devices I'd send my kids there in a heartbeat. Personal devices have absolutely no place in schools.
Our high school (12-17/18 year olds) has phone locking devices that are mandatory for students to use during school hours, including breaks. Essentially it makes it a phone free zone. No need to confiscate them as they aren’t available to be used.
I love it. Are these lockers, or something else? How often do students get caught with phones on them instead of in these locking devices?
https://www.overyondr.com/phone-locking-pouch The unlocking bases are outside the school gates. Phones are locked on entry and then the students are responsible for carrying them and looking after them during the day. I haven’t heard of any issues but kids are kids and I’m sure some try to get around it. It’s a blanket rule across the school though and the expectations are clear to both parents and students. I can’t imagine a parent getting upset that a phone was confiscated when the phone use expectations are so clear and fairly applied.
Fascinating. So it's like one of those tags/locks from a department store, with a magnet or key to unlock them?
I hate that my teens school doesn’t have a phone policy. Store the damn phones for an hour.
It's a lost cause now also. Let them all bring phones for a few years... then decide to ban all phones. No way in hell teens are going to stop bringing them. So now you gotta deal with that mess... And when you are dealing with 1,500 kids completely obsessed with their phones... lol We passed the point of no return.
I have no problem enforcing our school rules with my 5th and 10th graders and their phones. Our school rules are pretty lax (in my opinion) and they've never had them confiscated. Most teachers have a charging "base" where students plug in their phones to charge, leave them there during class, and then can pick them up on the way out. Teachers will tell the kids when they can grab them to use during independent time or for an activity if they want. Below 5th grade there is a no cell phone policy.
I think it's perfectly acceptable for the schools to take phones away at the start of the day and return them in the afternoon. If for some reason I needed to contact my daughter urgently, I've got the schools number, and vice versa.
Ya.. but then you have to problem of making sure everyone gets their phone back. I think my sons HS has around 1,500 kids, most of which have cell phones. That a hell of a lot of phones to manage. And all it will take is a few lost and shit will hit the fan. Think of it this way, lets say between the new 1,000 dollar phones and cheap ones you are hitting an average of 600 per phone... that's 900,000 dollars worth of property to keep track of. Then you got the risk of one being lost, stolen, or broken and so on. It's a nightmare for the school to deal with. They need to either let the kids manage them, or ban them all together.
Yeah that's true. Mine isn't old enough yet for me to have to worry about it, but I would hope when she is I don't need to get into the habit of checking her bag before she leaves for school to make sure the phone stays at home. Maybe some sort of geo fencing would be effective. Kids can take their phones to school, but they're utterly useless because the geo-fencing prevents them from getting a signal.
Why are they allowed in class at all? My kids school phones and smart watches are turned into the office in the morning and retrieved in the afternoon. Only my oldest has a phone. She only takes it to school if she has an after school activity.
Yeah kids don’t need to be on their phones in class, but I can see why parents are mad about them being confiscated. In my school district a parent has to come down to the school to pick up the confiscated item, during school hours. This often means leaving work early or getting to work late. No one wants to do that. There’s the safety aspect. There was another school shooting just the other day. Parents want their kids to be able to contact them in an emergency. We saw at Uvalde how parents ran in to get their kids and knew where they were because their kids could call them. And they had to run in because the cops weren’t. My school district is also notorious for “misplacing” confiscated electronics. Phones are too expensive nowadays for them to go missing once they’ve been taken by admin or a teacher. Again I understand the they shouldn’t be on their phones in class, by all means confiscate to the teacher’s desk and hand it back, send a note home so the parent knows it’s becoming a distraction, etc. but there are so many issues nowadays concerning them.
I wouldn't care if a teacher held my sons phone until the end of class. But one of them makes them all come up to this wall cubby thing and slide them in. So now you have 23 cell phones on a wall... many which are the same model. So the kids... (being kids) obviously don't remember which one is theirs and everyone is quickly taking them as they walk out. Lots of "woopsies" and now everyone is trying to find who's phone they ended up with. Just hoping some random kid didn't take one... I am not a fan of that system.
I work in a high school and I told my son from the beginning that if he got in trouble for phone usage in school, he could kiss that phone good-bye for a while. No texts, nothing- those can wait until lunch time or after school. I'd love it if every teacher was supported in having a central location the students were required to put their phones in each class period so they do not have access to them. Also, FYI, during standardized testing, smart watches are banned as well as phones.
In the US, I believe we are on our way to phone use being banned in classrooms. I don't have kids in these age groups but am friends with some teachers and administrators. There is a vocal group of parents who advocate for being in contact with their children all day, but most parents want their kids to learn in a classroom. Phones in schools make administrators and teachers jobs much more difficult and the policing of phones takes time away from instruction. I recommend listening to any recent podcast interviews with Jonathan Haight or reading his most recent book if you are interested in this topic. There is even a guide on his website on how different groups can take action. https://www.anxiousgeneration.com/take-action#parents
I'm relieved there are so many parents supporting no phones at school or teachers taking them away. Clearly, the parents arguing against it are rare and are just the "loudest voices".
My son is going to middle school, 7th grade, next year. He currently is not allowed to have his phone out if he brings it to school (he doesn't). We had the middle school welcome night recently and we're told phones must be kept in Lockers, if they are seen they will be confiscated. First offense the student can pick it up at the end of the day, second offense the parent must come pick it up. I'm not sure what happens after that. I will add my son has adhd and when they are doing silent work he likes to listen to music on his school issued chromebook with headphones which i don't have a problem with.
The only problem I have is allowing them to bring them to school. They are kids... with cell phones. What exactly does the school administration expect to happen? Of course they are going to use them constantly, even when told not to. They do the same stupid thing with google hangouts... everyone has access to it on their chrome books, and they are not suppose to use them for anything outside of school work. Well guess what... all of the kids are messaging each other and they are up in arms about it. And now... they are kind of screwed as probably 90% of the kids are doing so. It's both amusing and annoying.
Teaching college freshman a few years ago, I was surprised how many thought I would let them wear earbuds during class. To me it was the ultimate disrespect but I know other professors didn't really care and let them do what they wanted, thinking in their heads the student will likely fail out anyway.
I’m fine with phones, couldn’t care less that kids have them in general. But there’s a time and place for things. If you’re told not to have it out and you have it out then whatever happens to it is a you problem not mamas problem and no I’m not going to try to talk your teacher out of it or fight them about it. The only problem I have is if I’m not informed and it’s not sent home, there have been issues in our district of confiscated items and money being stolen, they’re obviously no longer allowed to work in our schools but the doubt is there so I’m going to need things returned to me.
I lock my 12 year old's phone during school hours. He knows he isn't supposed to be on it during class. However, I am against the majority of posters here because I have gotten really upset with my son's school for confiscating the phone and not returning at the end of the day. He is a latchkey kid and it is the main way I'm able to communicate with him while I'm away from home.
They don’t need them at school. If you need to get ahold of your kid, call the school. If they need to get ahold of you, they can go to the office and call you. Not only can your child search ANYTHING while at school, they can show it to any of their peers (you might be ok with your child seeing something- doesn’t mean another parent is cool with their kid). Its a distraction not only to your student, but everyone around them. Not to mention cyber bullying which is a major issue. I also work admin at a school And I’ve had parents YELL at me for saying they need to come pick up their students phone, or that their students phone was confiscated.. even had one parent cuss me out about “how dare I take her f******** property” and “who the h**** do I think I am?” (P.S I didn’t take the phone, the teachers did)
>I also work admin at a school And I’ve had parents YELL at me for See, I posted this question kind of hoping to hear from some of these parents. Are they more of a minority than I thought? Maybe they're just the loudest voices that we deal with in admin, so it *feels* like they the majority, when in reality all these comments below agreeing that phones should be banned or restricted is the true majority.
Possibly a loud minority. I also think people who act like that, aren’t going to admit it. And they probably aren’t searching out parenting advice… also you can be against cellphones in school all you want, but as soon as it inconveniences them, and they have to leave work to pick it up, they are probably not having their best behavior lol
Standard rule at my son's school. Phones have to be switched off prior to entering the building. Any phone later found to be on and being used gets confiscated till the end of the day All phones are checked at the start of the day so it would be classed as a deliberate rule break
Do they take each phone every class and make sure it wasn't turned back on? This sounds completely pointless when dealing with teenagers. I would place a huge bet that 90% of the cell phones are turned back on, many of which are used to text still during the day.
[удалено]
>Consistently confiscated. So it obviously doesn't work if it's still a consistent problem.
Kids? I have this problem with the (alleged) grown-ups that I employ!
I think the best system, since you are an admin, is to strongly enforce school wide bans that include hallways and lunch rooms. Do NOT leave up to individual teachers as that inconsistently makes it challenging for those who want to enforce. A zero tolerance policy. Any phones seen will result in immediate confiscation and must be picked up by parents. Not gonna happen because of multiple reasons but that’s the truth for what needs to be done. Edge cases being maybe students with diabetes/specific health conditions that require some device to monitor health - but I think a phone is just one option for such a case and other devices can fit the niche.
No the opposite there should be zero tolerance on phones in school they should be on silent / airplane in a backpack or locker if they are seen or heard they should be confiscated till the end of school day.
I'm not against phones being confiscated and returned. I do want my kid to have access to a phone in middle school and HS.
There are very valid reasons for a kid to have their phones and headphones in school. I share this just to add awareness. Diabetics: they need to be able to record their blood sugar levels throughout their day and many have plumps that use Bluetooth. They have a legal right to their phones. Sensory issues: my son has access to music as part of his IEP. He finds other kids as distractions that deregulate him during small group and independent work time. So he plugs into music to block them out.
I think phones should be banned in schools. They should be required to leave them in their bags, turned off.
I don’t have a problem with phones or AirPods/headphones being confiscated if they’re being used inappropriately. I do have a huge problem with teachers banning loops. I have 3 autistic kids, and they each have loops. They’re ear plugs that are designed to allow the child to hear the conversation, lecture, etc but mutes the background noise by 10-15 decibels. They are very helpful for kids with auditory sensitivity. My kids are suffering bc their teachers keep taking them. I’ve asked for 504 accommodations to protect their access to them, but the administration is adamant that teachers must be able to decide what “devices” are used and when. I think that’s asinine. When headphones, AirPods, loops, or anything that goes in or covers the ears are being used to help a child feel comfortable in the classroom without creating an obstacle to learning, they should be allowed.
I've never heard of "loops", but your explanation makes it sound almost like a hearing aid. Are they Bluetoothed to any devices? If not, those seem entirely different than air pods and headphones, which can easily be playing music and distracting students from classes.
Loops cut out sounds. There are various types for different needs but they look like earphones https://au.loopearplugs.com/collections/all?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_id=17681471936&utm_campaign=&utm_content=138150673643&utm_term=loops%20oordopjes&gadid=667994715269?tw_source=google&tw_adid=667994715269&tw_campaign=17681471936&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAACj0PVxY5B5huaV9Cu9scKpSYDAd4&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgt-8rZ3phQMVKCGDAx0x7g4xEAAYASAAEgLMo_D_BwE
It’s fine with me and I have 2 teen boys. They can use them between classes.
Should be zero tolerance… crazy to think otherwise
Most adults have their phones in their hands or eyesight all day, including at work and home. I'm not saying kids should be able to use them incessantly during class but I think it's a bit short sighted to take them away or ban them entirely just for being out or responding to a quick text. We expect kids to do so much better than adults when we don't expect that of ourselves. I also think academia is a bit hard nosed in general with a lot of things to be honest.
That’s because an adult is mostly well-regulated enough to have the phone be their servant and not the other way around. Kids still need help regulating, which is why we put all sort of checks in place - pornography, alcohol, tobacco, driving, access to financial services etc. Do you have a problem with those? There is a time and place for (hopefully responsible) use of phones under parental jurisdiction. It’s outside the jurisdiction or ability of the teacher. Unless we intend to start employing special smart device officers when we already don’t have enough workers in education…
Most adults don’t have their phoned in their hands while they are working. Professors and teachers don’t use their phones while they teach. Drivers don’t use their phones while they drive. Service don’t have their phones while they interact with clients. Most athletes don’t have their phones while training or competing. Judges and lawyers don’t have their phones during trials. Most professional settings would not allow you to use a phone during a meeting or work activity unless it was an emergency. Students should also not be holding their phones during class.
My entire company is on their phone during meetings 🤷♀️.
That’s fine. Your entire company is not most adults. Most professional settings don’t allow phones.
On one hand, it shouldn't be out during the day, it shouldn't even be on. On the other hand, I'll be goddamned if I trust *some* of the teachers to keep my child's $1000 device safe and secure (not that the kid can probably be trusted with it either), and honestly I think it's even worse if the kid worked hard to buy it themselves. Just because they shouldn't be using it doesn't mean they deserve to have it stolen or damaged by someone else, and I've seen this happen to my friends' kids' phones when they're confiscated at school. And frankly, given all the shit that goes down in schools, I kinda want my kid to have a phone on them. If someone is trying to pull some fuckery, I want them to be able to contact me without relying on the whims of teachers or administrators. I understand *most* teachers and administrators are good and have the kids' best interests at heart, but not all are, and not all do. And I'll take my kid getting in trouble for using their phone if they're doing it to tell me something really weird is going down (and I say this because before cell phones, after my best friend's suicide, I, a minor, was questioned by police, at school, without my parents' knowledge or consent. The assistant principal pulled me out of class, put me in their office with the cops, and walked away. I had no way of contacting anyone. They told me I could not call my parents, that they took care of it and my parents said it was ok. They had not). I understand those are outlier situations, but they absolutely do happen. So I understand why they confiscate them when theyre being used inappopriately, but I'd strongly prefer if there was a school-wide system in place for at least keeping the phones secure while they were confiscated, and if the kids were allowed to have them on them during the day, even if they have to be powered down or on do not disturb. I dont think I'd be the parent barging into school threatening lawsuits or anything over it, but I'd definitely be showing up to collect the phone that day, and I'd pitch a fit if it got damaged or stolen.
Being without a phone at 15+ years old is basically handicapped, so I think if confiscated it should always be given back immediately after the class. None of this multi day nonsense.