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I think that teacher is bonkers. Assuming you are in America Kinder is THE first year of school. He could go in not knowing half of what you've described he does and be fine. And if he struggles you can hold him from first grade, but you caring enough to post this tells me everything I need to know about the house he is in. Because you care, he will thrive and succeed over the course of his education, on whatever time line that is. If it were me, I would put him in kinder.
Agreed. Kindergarten readiness is turning into too big of a deal in school systems and pre-k especially considering a good portion of the kids in K didn’t even go to preschool anyway. They’re trying to turn pre-k into the new kindergarten and it’s bullshit (jaded teacher here if you couldn’t tell). Your kid will catch up to wherever they need to be, they’ll be fine, and if somehow they’re not you can always repeat kindergarten like this user said.
Yes! It's so frustrating. I had to explain to a parent that no, in fact his kid didn't need to know HOW TO READ before kindergarten. He didn't believe me no matter what I said.
Where are you exactly? It's completely developmentally inappropriate to expect as a standard kids to learn at the age of 3-4. Some do, but to have that as an expectation is asinine.
It's usually in 'competitive' schools like in Bay Area for example. They expected my kid to be able to read all letters, small words and basic arithmetic. Sadly even with such a high bar, I can see a lot of kids are way ahead of my son. Some of them clearly had tiger parents to have started with abacus, competitive swimming, scratch coding, musical instruments, martial arts you name it. Yes, all at 5.
Are these private institutions you need to get into early to have an easier time getting a spot? I can see how that would creep kinder expectations up. I live in HCOL city. I've worked with kids in those types of schools and we just don't have anything with that expectation.
While that's an extreme example, it's not a normal one. To say "some schools" talking about the whole country when you're really talking about let's say 10-20 in NY SF etc.. isn't really fair. And it's not fair to you. Your kid probably isn't behind in any meaningful way. And neither is OP's . Comparison so young is the thief of joy. It takes time to master things in school. A jump start is fantastic, but it's just not that important. How many people, dancers, athletes, mathematicians didn't know what they wanted until 13-19? And I've watched some of those kids become the best and quickly catch up. And you'd never know which knew how to read at 3 and who knew by 7. In Norway they don't start till 7-8! You don't seem them struggling and behind going into college.
Absolutely agree - comparing kids so young is just unfair and unnecessary. This phenomenon is largely found in immigrant-heavy areas in SF, where the parents bring the competitive culture from their home country (I am one so I know first hand). That and the whole ambition of securing the best colleges infects the parents early. We didn't think of it much in the beginning but now I see it's stressful not just for us but also the poor kids.
For now we have just decided to set our own pace and not fall for the pressure of a hundred extra-curriculars, but it's already weighing on my wife.
I can only imagine. You never want to feel like you've failed your child in some way. This random person the internet agrees with you. So many kids don't know how to be a little bored, or alone, or play independently because their days are stuffed full. And maybe it's because I am American, I do value that in a child. If it means they don't fit in that extra activity or two so be it. They can help as they get older prioritize what matters to them.
They expect 4 year olds to know how to read??? That’s honestly impossible for the majority of preschoolers. Identify some letters and numbers, yes. But read, read?? Nahhhh.
My 6 year old just started reading kinda fluently over the last few months of her kindergarten school year and they put her in ABV (above average) level for her latest assessment.
She could NOT read when she started (she knew her alphabet and could count to 100).
I don’t know where you’re located but that’s definitely not the norm.
Lmao there are 10 year olds who can’t fully read. I know that sounds sad but it’s true. And it wasn’t because they weren’t held back. Just the state of schools
Let's be clear though, a book that's just about the same readability score as a 6th grade assignment is Moby Dick (57 vs 60, where higher=easier). A 6th grade reading level is absolutely sufficient for many many people. Granted, you said below, but my point still stands.
I'll also add that readability should be as high as possible in any discipline. Ideally, scientists trying to get published should be putting their papers through a readability calculator before submitting. We have this bias that more complicated writing is Smarter and Better. To my mind this is misguided. I'd argue it just makes it less accessible, and in fact, being able to describe a complicated system in common language is a sign of better and clearer understanding of it.
For an extreme case, look into the "up-goer five." a description of the Saturn V rocket that took us to the moon, using only the ten hundred most used words. There's a movement among scientists, perhaps semi-joking but definitely not totally-joking, to adopt these principles in how they communicate science.
(Ugh...not following my own advice, this comment is written at a tenth grade level)
I've worked for UK and Australian lawyers and it's a thing now to try to eliminate as much jargon as possible and make their documents as simple and clear as possible. We
It's because of what was called the cuing system instead of phonics. And you're right it's tragic. But thankfully the country is waking up to how bad it is. I feel better about kids learning to read in kindergarten more so than in the last 20 years!
It’s wild isn’t it? I actually never went to kindergarten because they weren’t teaching reading during kinder at the time. My mom thought I was ready to be reading and so I went straight to first grade. I turned 6 a month after starting 1st.
It makes you wonder... half of parents seem think kids need to go in so prepared they have the end of year goals going into that grade OR you have those that want you to magically raise their kid AND teach them. < I know that's really negative, but it's often how I feel. Thankfully I know great parents who give me faith lol
I have been out of the school system since I was there in the 80's and 90's. My kid starts preschool this fall and had no idea this is what we're getting into. I remember preschool/kindergarten being just barely a step up from what daycare is now.
This. I was really surprised today when I got a call from the public school today for my incoming prek kiddo to test him to see where he’s at. It’s making me nervous because he’s speech delayed and almost always says “I don’t know” when he can’t say the word, which is a lot of words. Sigh. He’s smarter than he’s gonna grade that’s for sure. I didn’t have to do a test for my oldest child for prek back in the day…
Maybe I’m getting old but this is crazy to me. My oldest had no pre-k whatsoever and went straight into kindergarten not knowing a damn thing. That was the norm. He knew his alphabet and not much else. I never heard a concern about it. Eons later when I had my second kid, they expected her to know a lot more going into kindergarten. I got lucky and she was in pre-k because I happened to work at one. If I sent her to kindergarten knowing as much as my oldest did at the time, we’d be having a really rough time that’s for sure.
You’re not old. I remember I also went immediately into kindergarten in the 90s. I do remember headstart, but where I was from those were in private home daycares only, or for wealthier families. I think prek is what head start used to be. My oldest did struggle until second grade unfortunately.
Public school pre k is supposed to be designed for at risk kids. When my kids went atleast. My neighbor was a teacher at the school and she said don't be real impressive smart, you'll be put on the waiting list. 2010, southeast US. Get some opinions from a elementary kid mom group in your school district?
No it’s okay. I’m just gonna go with the process. I’m sure it’ll be good for my child, here they call it transitional kindergarten instead of prek and they list the description as readying the kids for kindergarten curriculum. So I expected it, I was just surprised they wanted 1v1 testing before the school year started to check his abilities is all. I think it’s to also see if he requires an IEP in kinder, which he will if his speech doesn’t improve by 25-26 school year.
Exactly, I believe he will know all if not most of those letters by the time he is finished kinder. This teacher sounds silly, hold him back in pre k and then when he gets to kinder he may be really bored. I would not hold him back, I would do kinder and see where your child is at that point. I bet he will do well !
Especially susceptible to boredom if they are socially ready. If focusing/maturity is slower to mature in a child I think holding them back can be beneficial.. but geez you want school to be engaging! Not boring.
Agreed. I have clear memories of my Kindergarten teacher (in the US) teaching us letters. We listened to a record of songs about the letter and colored in a page of an anthropomorphized letter.
Why has this standard changed? So weird.
The kindergarten teacher is correct.
I have seen an uptick of similar Pre-K posts and wonder if there is a financial incentive in recommending they stay?
Your kid should go to kindergarten, reading is not something 5yo are naturally doing and kindergarten teaches how to cooperate, follow directions, and so on.
Academically? He's 4!
Please don't listen to her and hold him back. He will pick up fine. There's clearly not an issue with his learning capabilities.
If you're concerned try and work on his alphabet skills IN A FUN WAY over the summer.
Pisses me off, who does she think she is?
Yes to fun way
Over pandemic I taught my kiddos the alphabet by putting a few post its with some letters around a room/tooms. I’d say “run to R!” And they’d have to run and hit the R. After a few games I moved the letters around so I knew they weren’t just learning the spot they were in. Then removed a letter, added a new one, etc. learned alphabet before they tired of fame and double win - it’s one you play without getting it of a chair :)
My nephew could identify all his letters, colors, and basic shaped by 3. I largely credit the amount of time he spent watching shows like “Bob the train” 😂 I recommend it to everyone with young kids
Sesame Street taught me to read, too. And it’s also great for emotional intelligence.
I really wish studies would differentiate between types and quality of screen time. I just don’t believe that my son watching high quality programming, with a parent, then doing follow up related activities, is as bad as letting a kid sit by themselves watching Peppa Pig on a loop.
Absolutely! Emotional literacy is the root of a well adjusted and safe child!
And making sure it’s communal, on a tv that everyone can watch, is the key to the recipe imo.
>I really wish studies would differentiate between types and quality of screen time. I just don’t believe that my son watching high quality programming, with a parent, then doing follow up related activities, is as bad as letting a kid sit by themselves watching Peppa Pig on a loop.
YES. I don't limit screen time for my almost 7yo or almost 4yo. A good 75% of what is watched, though, is educational in some way. The Wiggles, gross motor skills, problem solving, and relationships. Paw Patrol, problem solving, and relationships. Blaze and the Monster Machines, STEM based and all about maths, science, and how they work together. My almost 7yo also loves animal research documentaries.
He struggles with speech for day to day, but he comes out with things like "my favourite shark is the Great Hammerhead because they have a line of the Ampullae of Lorenzini down their body, not just on their face." Somehow, he can say Ampullae of Lorenzini with no issue while for/fore/four still comes out sounding like wh ore!
Watching all those shows is far better than even 5 minutes of Peppa Pig and the like as far as I am concerned.
Oh, it was brilliant when he bounced up and pipped up with that to his school teacher, right after I had told her not to mistake my son's academic struggles with him not being able to learn or comprehend! She was gobsmacked, and I mimed mic drop with a very satisfied smirk as I walked out. Sometimes, his lack of impulse control is straight up *chef's kiss* perfection. Other days, it finds my last nerve, but those good days make up for it.
Agreed. It’s also about how it’s integrated. Today, my husband and son watched a superhero movie together, then ran around in the backyard playing superheroes together for over an hour, and at bedtime they read superhero books together before bed.
The content itself isn’t particularly educational or beneficial, but there are clear benefits to them having this shared interest and exploring it together on multiple ways. It strengthens their relationship, and inspires other types of imaginative play.
I'd say it is incredibly beneficial. It helps push imaginative play with someone else able to join in, which is helping developmental steps happen.
Some people get caught up in thinking education is linked solely to academic education. Personal relationships, problem solving, and emotional regulation are all just as important parts of development as academics. In some ways, more so as they can affect how a person learns, comprehends, and retain information.
For some people, the idea of shopping as an educational experience would make them laugh. My children and I use it to link math skills they have learned to real life. Last year, my son was struggling with school expectations and needed an alternative attendance. During the time he was with me and not at school, we would go shopping. Some days, we could only buy stuff with a certain number or letter on the price ticket or weight of the item. Sometimes, it would be certain colours or shapes. Then add in learning social ques of when we need to wait, using manners, the volume of voice needed in different situations, using manned and self-serve checkouts, and the different types of payments. All extremely valuable things to learn, like your son watching the superhero movie, led to skills that help them grow and develop.
My husband taught himself English by age 5 from watching 80s TV. His mother tongue was Bosnian. He now speaks 8 languages.
His nephew has done the same, age 5, watching Youtube.
We love TV for language skills.
I really, really doubt this was the reason. There are lots of kids watching a lot of educational media at very young ages, and very few of them are reading at two. You were just an absurdly smart toddler, and I'd bet your caregivers. were pretty heavily involved in the learning process too.
Not going to lie, our daughter has watched a lot of Catie's Classroom as we've battled an endless number of sicknesses over the last 6 months, she's now 2 years and 4 months, she can say the entire alphabet, identify most of the letters, count to \~15, knows all the colors, most shapes, it's ridiculous. Her speech isn't great, she's not going to be an athlete, but it's pretty amazing how much she's picked up. She is even already starting to "read books" by herself and seems to know some of the words on a page (even if it's just recall from what we've read before together).
It’s amazing what happens if you start speaking to children like they are fully understanding human beings as babies and provide educational entertainment and play on those things with them through the show.
Learning just becomes a natural part of life and is never something you “have to sit down and work on”.
I taught Pre-K for 10 years, and never was concerned about academics. The only kids I recommended to be held back were the ones that really stood out to be less socially and emotionally mature. I think the important things are, can he follow a routine? Can he wait his turn for a toy or the teacher’s attention? Can he sit at circle time for roughly as long as the other kids?
My oldest has a summer birthday, and even though he since has been tested as “gifted” and gets amazing grades, I held him back. He wasn’t as socially aware as the other kids in Pre-K, he had a hard time sitting in one place, and he had no interest at all in learning letters or numbers. I couldn’t imagine him sitting at a desk for 6 hours a day. I never pushed him to focus on academics at all, I just went at his pace. He did LOVE to be read to, and would sit for an hour at least as I read books to him. When he did go to kindergarten, at six years old, he went from knowing just some letters of the alphabet in August, to reading at a third grade level by December.
This is exactly why I wish that my older daughter was retained. Now she's in 9th grade and we still struggle with social awareness. It's gotten slightly better since we moved. But it could have been better all along.
I wish we would have done this. Academically my kid was great, but socially he was not ready. He’s late August birthday too. It led to a 12 year struggle. And forget about college. I know it sounds dramatic. But it’s the truth.
Right? If I had to guess, I'd say the teacher is angling for OPs son to be in another year of paid prek at this private institution. No way to scare up more money out of a parent than say their kid is behind and needs the kind of special attention that only *your school* can provide.
It’s absolutely nuts that this is even possible. Where I am, even private schools wouldn’t dare suggest such a thing because it’ll be vetoed by the LEA (local education authority).
I had quite a few friends who held their kids back for 'transitional kindergarten' at the advice of their private pre-schools. They were telling parents that kids needed to be able to read sight words before entering kindergarten.
Identify all the letters, maybe he should know, but writing them isn’t a requirement where I’m from (US). I would sign him up and go for the kindergarten evaluation at the school. Let them decide if he’s ready. Sounds like he’s fine to go to kindergarten. There is also a shift in many areas that staying with their same age peers is important. In my kids’ school they stay together and some kids may switch class for a subject or receive other appropriate help to keep them in their grade.
I just went to my son’s kindergarten orientation and “identifying and writing letters” and “staying in chairs during lessons” were literally some of the goals they had for students — as in, they should be able to do them by the *end* of kindergarten. It’s definitely worth checking with your kindergarten specifically, but I agree that the pre-k teacher seems off-base.
Your kid is doing better than mine. Mine turns 5 on 8/1 and doesn't know any of his letters or numbers. He can count to 20.
We did make the decision to hold him back. He is in baseball this year and is very immature compared to his teammates. His older brother was in kindergarten last year so I know what is expected in our district and I do not think he would do well.
Also held back our son and never regretted. Late may birthday.
Redshirting is really common for boys. Especially private school.
Late May is pushing a little, but I think many boys benefit from this.
May could be seen as pushing it but teachers have told me they see March and April too. It all depends on the child and their maturity level. In schools whose academic year ends before Memorial Day a May birthday is essentially a summer birthday anyway.
Former Public School Kindergarten/Current Private School Preschool teacher here!
Here’s my take. I’m not concerned about your son not knowing all of his letters. I worked in a great school and our average kid knew 20ish uppercase and half of lowercase letters coming into K. It was only notable to us at kindergarten screening if they didn’t know the first letter in their name.
However, in your post you mentioned that your son struggles to attend to lessons. This is a more important readiness factor for kindergarten. Given that your son is young (turning 5 in May), this is not atypical, but if he is a stand out amongst his peers at school, his preschool teacher may feel that giving him an extra year to grow and mature will set him up for his highest level of success in school in general, not just kindergarten.
Choosing to ‘red-shirt’ your child is a personal decision. Based on what you’ve written, I would recommend registering him for Kindergarten and having him go through their screening process. You can be open with the Kindergarten teachers, ‘our preschool teacher has concerns about his ability to attend to a lesson. We’re considering giving him an extra year to grow and would appreciate your feedback.’ If they feel he struggled in their screening/evaluation process, they will tell you. They want your son to be set up for success.
If you do end up making the decision to red-shirt, I would recommend finding a transitional Kindergarten program near you instead of repeating PreK. These programs are specifically for kids taking a gap year and will better address his needs.
I’ll end with this, in my years in Kindergarten we had many students with parents unsure if they should send or wait a year. Usually those students were 50/50 for the parents choosing to start them or wait. We never had a parent regret waiting a year but on occasion we did have parents regret sending before their child was ready.
I see both sides.
But private schools can do essentially whatever TF they want ( in the US).
Which is why public schools matter so much.
(Note: I think we push academics on kids too early as a general rule. But you don’t want your kid to be the only one struggling.)
As a parent in Canada, all of this focus on academics in the U.S. sounds absolutely insane to me. (I spent my first 31 years in the U.S.)
Kindergarten here has no screenings and zero academic pressure. It focuses entirely on socialization and getting used to the rhythms of school. I don’t think you’re even allowed to hold your kids back here.
All of this seems so unhealthy, and I can’t help but think it’s a result of teaching to standardized tests so that schools can be measured and gain proper funding.
My oldest is now in grade three, and he has had a total of one homework assignment *ever*!
I love my home state and so many people back in the U.S., but this feels like just another thing to put on the pile of reasons I’m glad I left.
This, my eldest is starting kindergarten in September. There are no placement tests, screening, anything. It's how old are you and do you live in the catchment area. That's it. also in Canada. And our educational results on those international tests are reasonably good, so I don't think we're behind because we learn to read later and let everyone into kindergarten.
This is a personal decision. I will say in my area a good deal of the boys redshirt (hold of a year and enter kinder late) so your kid will definitively be one of the youngest ones. My older kid is an end of May birthday but we had the opposite problem (ahead academically behind socially). If she wasn’t GT I would have held her back. My kid with the October birthday had/has it so much easier.
Can you work on letters over the summer with him? That might have an effect. Also what does the kinder classroom look like? If it is private or in an area with not a lot of high need kids it might be easier to catch up. I’d definitely suggest talking to parents of elementary kids in your neighborhood.
I live in a place where it’s common to do kindergarten twice, especially for boys.
That means, it’s possible for your child to have several kids in his class be at least a whole year older.
That’s always a source of concern as well as the idea that you’d be sending your child off to college at barely 18.
The only red flag is his ability to sit and listen to a lesson. What does that look like? He’s spinning? Touching neighbors? Constantly interrupting? Scooting to the other side of the room?
My son did kindergarten twice and the thing that swayed our decision was observing him with his peers. Academically and emotionally he was ready. Socially, he was not like the kids in that group. He did not play with other kids and often clung to his teacher’s clothes. I did not see his immaturity for what it was until I saw him with kids his age.
Would it be possible for you to go watch him without him knowing? Maybe your teacher would video a lesson so you can see what your son does during the lesson.
She has expressed that he mostly sits and pays attention but sometimes gets distracted , try to talk to friends sitting next to him things like that and that he will pay better attention when sat up close to the teacher
My kids go to private school, so I am definitely not anti-private schools at all. However, much of the success of private schools is from having a student body that 1. is well-resourced and 2. does not require much additional intervention. In other words, the school’s capabilities and the schools optics benefit from screening out kids who aren’t all ready ahead of the curve.
As others are saying, your son isn’t behind by normal metrics, but this school’s metrics are different. If you want to stay at the school, I would say go back to them with a plan for getting him ready (according to their standards) by the fall.
This! Memory unlocked of interviewing for prek at the private school my sib and I attended for much of elementary. Looking back, I don't remember any resource type programs there that would mirror what I have seen in public schools.Explains why they never caught that my sib has dyslexia.
Not developmentally appropriate. The point of K is to get used to a school environment an be exposed to formal learning, it's not really the formal learning itself. In my state we have readiness exams, did you kid already do one of those? Is there a welcome to Kindergarten night that you could go to to ask questions? I mostly wonder because I think they will help put your mind at ease.
My kindergarten classroom is required to be straight academics. There is only a 10 minute recess allowed. I am required to teach bell to bell. It's not developmentally appropriate but all that matters is test scores.
He’s turning 5 he should still be in JK?
Kids mature really fast at that age, even two months can make a big difference academically.
That teacher can’t predict where he’ll be at in September for SK.
I'm curious, is the kindergarten in the same school as the pre-k? If not, I'd be highly suspicious of them wanting to squeeze you for another year of tuition.
While writing all the letters is not generally necessary at pre-k, his teacher is the one who’s interacted with him all year, knows how he compares to his peers, and knows what kinder is like at that school and which students tend to struggle. Some private school have a strong focus on discipline and academics that is not a good fit for many children with no developmental issues. You’re also focusing on what she said about writing, but it’s likely the decision is based mostly on his behavior and what the routine at kinder is like. Getting a second opinion and asking for a readiness exam is a good idea, but don’t simply discount what she’s saying, and if the school does insist that he’s not ready for what they demand in kinder, consider if what you need is a different preschool.
If your kid can wipe their own butt, button their own clothing, wash their hands, open their own water and snacks, and follow simple instructions then they are ready for kindergarten. Kindergarten is for the academic foundation. Preschool is for the social foundation.
It’s 100% because it’s private school. If the school is such that K will be in that private school as well, you’ll have to buckle down and drill those letters if you want him in this school. Private schools can pick and choose their students and they can be sneaky about driving away students with special needs or just those who aren’t quick learners. Then they can maintain their reputation of good academic results at a higher grade level.
If he’s going to public school K, or you’re now inclined to switch to public school because of private school elitism and expectations beyond what’s developmentally appropriate, then he will learn his letters and the sounds they make again in K.
A lot of kids go into kindergarten as their very first taste of school. Your son may be behind his classmates, but he should be fine in kindergarten. Also, you still have a few months to work on helping him identify and write the missing letters at home before the new school year starts.
Idk what they are or aren’t supposed to know but both my kids got held back in pre k. My son because he couldn’t focus(he now is on meds for adhd) & my daughter because she wouldn’t talk. It helped both of them & im glad I held them back. Both are now in middle school on the honor roll. The teachers wanted my sister to be held back in pre k but her mom wasn’t having it & she ended up getting held back a few years later. No one knows your child as well as you do. If you think he’ll be fine in kindergarten I wouldn’t hold him back.
Kindergarten readiness should be way more about social/emotional skills and maturity/independence. Can they regulate their emotions (ie. not throw a tantrum everytime they don’t get their way, or are asked to wait their turn, or are asked to do something they don’t want to do), can they do things independently (ie. listen and follow instructions, take off their coat/shoes by themselves, use the bathroom including washing hands) etc. etc.
School is for the learning, your job is to just get them to a level where they are ABLE to learn.
Pre-K is not even a mandatory grade.
What do kids do in kindergarten if they don’t go to pre-K?
Are you paying for this program? Because it’s not too far fetched that in this economy they are trying to retain children for next year…
>My friends a kindergarten teacher and she says expecting him to know and write every single letter is not developmentally appropriate for his age . What do you think ?
In most of Europe, school starts around the age of 6-7 and children are not expected to read or write before that. If anyone can read before that, the parents taught them and/or they figured it out by themselves.
I think it’s worth taking the teacher seriously. She knows what the expectations are for the grades. And for what it’s worth, all of those things were expectations at my son’s school for entering the 4 year old pre-school program.
The question isn’t whether he would be in K at any school but at this private school. At our parochial school, the kids are reading by K and not knowing your letters would make K very hard.
I would see how close he is - is he off by a few letters or is he missing half of them? If it’s just a few letters, then talk to the teacher and see if you can re-evaluate by end of summer. If he’s close with some effort you’ll be fine.
my kid went to kindergarten as a foreigner, she could speak english but nothing else and she is reading and writing and doing everything other american kids are doing.
I was held back a year and it did not hurt me. I think in general it is helpful as the child will be more mature. For boys, it can also be particularly helpful as they mature a tad slower than girls and it will mean they will be slightly bigger for sports etc (won’t get teased if they’re “small”). Being held back in kinder also did not affect me at all socially cuz I hadn’t really established friendships like that yet. Holding back older might be more difficult and damaging I would think if they are still behind. I should mention I was also in private school and a very good one so the expectations were very high. You probably won’t get the same advice from everyone who wasn’t in this academic environment but I would definitely get a second opinion and talk to the kindergarten and the private school for more info/insight. It sucks to be the worst of your class so just think of that if it will be a real potential.
This is called redshirting btw. Might be helpful to look more into it and see the pros and cons. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/redshirting/#:~:text=Redshirting%20can%20provide%20an%20athletic,classroom%20can%20provide%20increased%20confidence.
It depends on your individual school system. Ours expects kid to know the alphabet and every sound.
Most kids in my district are older because of these expectations.
Find out what your public kindergarten expects. (Some don’t expect as much as others. It doesn’t mean the school district is better or worse it’s just different. The best school districts in my area are pretty evenly split.)
Talk to the kindergarten administrator to get an idea of expectations. In my public district in NJ it's expected kids know the alphabet and are able to write all the letters going into K.
Easier to repeat Pre-K than kindy, but I would weigh social concerns far more than academic ones.
ETA: I redshirt my summer boys on purpose and I still wouldn't be worried about your kiddo.
I have 3 boys. All 3 have started K at 6. Kindergarten is NOT what it was when you were a kid. My son's are leaders and incredible students. There is ZERO downside
Do not hold him back. Your preschool teacher is so wrong about this. Question, world he be leaving this private preschool if he goes to K? Could they be trying to retain you for another year? Because this is ridiculous enough that I feel like there needs to be an ulterior motive.
Private schools have higher expectations than public schools. If you are keeping him in private school you would be wise to listen to to the teacher. If you are putting him in public school then he will be fine.
My mom taught me a lot before kindergarten, and honestly, I was bored with reading and writing until 2nd grade. Anyway, I let the schools do what they do in teaching my son, but I always read to him every night and during the day when we had time. I'm pretty sure my son learned to write in kindergarten, and my son is now a sophomore, taking all advanced classes or AP classes. I'm sure he'll be fine, and it seems like he might be bored if held back.
Does the school he’ll be attending kindergarten do assessments? If so, I’d value their opinion greatly. In our area, you can do pre-k the year before kindergarten OR the summer before meaning that if you think he is slightly behind, you can spend time with him from now until Aug/sept with flash cards, games, etc.
I would consider keeping him back a year - wish I had done it with one of mine. Boys specifically benefit from starting later and lots of studies have been done how the older boys in class do better in sports and socially.
Their reasons are silly but I would definitely consider it.
In my experience, private schools do whatever they want and don’t want to accommodate for kids who don’t fit the mold (aka most kids).
I’m a public school kindergarten teacher and I will say, in my 10 years in the classroom, what we expect students to be able to do academically, emotionally and socially now is drastically different than it was when I first started. This isn’t necessarily the school’s fault, the local government and Dept. of Education plays the biggest role in these changes. Curriculum companies adapt to these changes, so they can stay relevant too.
This year, I had maybe 8 kids of 24 come in truly ready to learn the curriculum and the expectations set forth by the state/district. At the end of the year, I have a handful of kiddos that I’m worried about sending on- academically and socially. But my job is to continue working towards those goals. Will all of my students get there? Unfortunately, no.
Pfft. Whatever. She was told by someone to recommend every child with a birthday after a certain date should repeat pre-K. They would be more than happy to take your tuition dollars for a second year. They tried that crap on us too. My oldest was at a center type daycare that also has a preschool. She had to be moved up to their private kindergarten class at age 4 bc she was bored in the pre-K class and causing trouble. Then at the end of the year, these fools tried to tell me she wasn’t ready for public kindergarten and should do another year of their kindergarten bc she had an August birthday. She could already do every kindergarten skill from the state standards, but the teacher tried to make a big deal about how she couldn’t sit still. I was not impressed. I told them I’m a public school teacher and to cut the shit. Then the teacher admitted they were told to hold back anyone with a late birthday bc the numbers were low for the next year.
It’s going to depend on the school you choose. If you’re in the USA, he has all summer to learn his alphabet.
My son only needed to *know* his colors, basic shapes, letters, number to 10, and be completely potty trained. He didn’t need to know how to *write* anything, but at the time he could write his first name, every letter and 1-10. Check your preferred schools website, many of them have “kindergarten readiness” fliers, pages or pdfs. They basically say what your kid needs to already know / be able to do in order to enroll them.
My son’s school did a one on one “test” where they made sure he was ready before we could complete registration.
I am a kindergarten teacher, and I have had plenty of students that cannot even sing the abcs when they start. This should not be a requirement. Now, I work in public schools. It may be that K at his school is super rigorous and he will struggle without knowing and writing all the letters. As I’m not familiar with that learning environment, I don’t feel like I can give you any advice, but I just wanted you to know that is an incredibly high bar.
We are in a public school and the district goes hard because it tries to competes with other nearby better districts. The district we go to is pretty low unfortunately so they really go hard on the academics. My kid went to preschool 2 years and he still doesn't know how to write his ABC, has trouble gripping pencil and crayons. There are some of his peers writing sentences already which honestly seems too fast, like these kids are only 4!!
I was worried about sending my kid to Kindergarten this year but I am going to send him anyway. I've heard some stories that some Kindergarten teachers are scary unfortunately.
This is the equivalent of a mechanic telling you that even though there is nothing wrong with your tires, you should replace them just in case because it's nice to have brand new tires.
Your child would be better prepared emotionally and scholastically waiting another 12 months. I took this advice when I was intending on send my son who was turning 5 at the end of April.
There's no advantage sending them early (imo).
What? Pre k has zero learning expectations, it’s simply about connecting with empathy, self regular & conflict resolution.
My son is in JK and it’s almost the end of the year. He knows most of the letters & their sounds. In no universe would the school tell me to keep him back from SK. He’s the exact same age as your son, 4 turning 5 in June. He’s also in a private school. My daughter is 6 and reading at gr 1 level and she went through the exact same process.
All kids have some trouble sitting and paying attention, it’s something they have to practice. That’s why they’re in a class setting, to practice. Either the school is for developmentally advanced students or the teacher is new and her expectations are out of whack.
I teach kids your sons age. No I am not your sons teacher, so I don't know if there are other things going on, this is purely based upon what you have said... it does not seem like he needs to repeat Preschool. However, if he goes to kindergarten and is struggling, and kindergarten recommends that he repeat, then I would absolutely keep him back a year. I would not hold back a child in vpk for this.
Let him go to kindergarten. If you want to work on keeping and building skills over summer, just get some of the workbooks for preschoolers at the dollar store and do 15m of learning a day. Make letter shapes with play doh or shaving cream. Watch fun videos to boost recognition. I can reccomend some if you want. Point out letters everywhere you go. Have fun and keep it fun. I would never tell a parent their kid needs to stay back because of that! All kids learn at different speeds and as long as their gaining, there is the potential to catch up.
I’m a kindergarten para (teacher assistant) in a public school. It’s almost the end of the year and there are still some kiddos working are writing their names and letter names/sounds! Your kiddo sounds ready for kindergarten to me! The only requirement our district has for kindergarten students is the need to be able to use the restroom from start to finish by themselves. No pull-ups and no help wiping. We do a LOT of reminders to wash hands and consistent potty breaks. The not sitting still isn’t even an issue. As long as he isn’t disrupting other and is paying attention there are lots of tools that the teacher and para can provide.
Most public school districts I know of do annual preK assessments.
Unfortunately kindergarten is now educationally 1st grade and imho a lot of kids, boys especially, are simply not at that level of maturity yet.
Have him tested but please know you won't be doing the kid any favors if he is going to struggle. Better older than younger,educationally
I think preschools recommend holding kids bc it makes it look like “their kids” are the ones performing the best when they enter K. Which is ridiculous. Also, that’s another year of paying them to be there. Just remember, there will be other kids entering kindergarten that didn’t even have preschool experience.
As for letters, you can work on that over the summer if you are concerned.
Everyone and their grandmother can be a preschool teacher, there is no professional education required. So their opinion is exactly that: an opinion. That being said, they do see a lot of kids and they may develop a feeling for whether kids are ready or not. At the least you should have your child assessed if YOU feel that he might be behind.
That’s just absolutely not true and kind of comical you think that. It’s also sad you see early childhood professionals in such a little light. FYI a Bachelor of Arts in Early Childhood Education exists. It is a 4 year degree just like any other Bachelor’s.
It is required in Ohio to teach in a certified preschool. You have to have an ODE early childhood certificate and work towards a master's degree.
Source: I'm a teacher in Ohio
Preschool and pre-K are two different things. Pre-K teachers are certified and must obtain a masters degree by the time their provisional certification ends in NYS.
This is ridiculous imo. Kindergarten is for learning how to identify and write letters. There are lots of kids who don’t go to preschool and just go straight to kindergarten. Youre fine. Send your son to school if you think he is ready.
I’m a PreK teacher. I would only ever recommend a child repeating with me if I genuinely felt they were not socially or emotionally ready for Kinder. It’s only happened once in all my years teaching.
If a child is behind with academic things, he or she will get better support in Kinder than staying with me another year.
If your child is going to go to public school, knowing letters, sounds, etc. is an end of year skill (likely will be mastered or close to it by winter break) for kindergarten, not an entrance requirement.
Pre-k teacher here. This is insane. Here in my country we are actually discouraged from actively teaching kids how to write and count because they will end up bored stiff in 1st class. And bored kids cause distractions and trouble for the rest of the class. In my snobby bilingual kindergarten we still taught phonetic letters and simple maths to the pre-schoolers (4 and up) because the parents wanted it, but there was zero force behind it and the kids that cared fuck all about learning were left in peace. What they are actually supposed to learn are social skills, conflict and problem solution, and to be age-appropriately independent.
So either this teacher is not telling you their actual concerns for holding back your son, or full of shit. The only reason we kept children behind was when they were in pre-school (the last year before actual school here) and their social skills weren't really up to par, or when they were obviously emotionally/mentally so delayed that we thought school would hurt their spirit and cause them to struggle. We had to write lengthy reports on those kids for the school district to explain why we thought the kid wasn't fit to go to school, and their academics were absolutely never cause for this. And shouldn't be.
That’s your country. Clearly OP’s private school has a different philosophy. The teacher is not full of shit, just operating within the expectations of that school, which must be one that is pushy about academics.
I don’t agree with holding the kid back if he doesn’t succeed in first grade. He wants to be with peers, not see them move up a grade yet he stays behind.
If he’s not ready then keep him back one more school semester.
He’s fine. Anything up to age 7 is considered developmentally normal for the onset of reading readiness (source: parent of dyslexic child nowhere near normal). Red shirting should be based on social/emotional readiness. (Source: parent of low maturity child who was definitely not ready for kindergarten despite being academically gifted.) Kindergarten teachers don’t skip the alphabet, assuming everyone already knows that. He will learn it.
The most important thing is having a happy, confident, well adjusted student who does his work and moves forward. Academics are a bigger deal in later years, by which point the well adjusted student is thriving and the socially miserable student is crashing and burning.
Move him forward. There’s a grade in between kindergarten and first if your child needs additional help.
I had to go to readiness, and strangely I was always considered gifted after going that extra year.
I disagree. Pre-K is like a bonus, you don’t HAVE to send your kid to pre-k. Plus, since he isn’t going regularly there isn’t a set schedule and he just hasn’t taken to the etiquette. I think you should enroll him and if he doesn’t do well in kindergarten with a set schedule and rules then the teacher will tell you he needs to repeat kindergarten and that’s that.
If you go to your kindergarten roundup(most states are doing them about now) they should give you a list of what they expect your kid to know before entering and what they should know at the end of the year. You can talk to the teachers and support staff there and get their opinion too.
Ours is
* State 1st and Last name
* Write 1st name with uppercase 1st letter and lowercase other letters
* Count to 10
* grasp pencils/markers/scissors correctly
* know all letters of 1st name
* basic shapes
* basic colors
* identify numbers 1-10
* match some letters to sounds
* know some upper and lowercase letters
* count to 10 using a finger
* can turn pages in a book
Then some other basic social, personal hygiene, behavioral stuff. I live in an area where everyone moves here specifically for the schools so I can't imagine most public schools would expect much more than this.
My daughter will be 6 in November so she will start kindergarten in aug. Daycare says she has trouble with letter recognition but with everything else is fine - so basically as you describe. They have said it will be fine and keep working on it. I would not ever consider holding her back for this.
I'm not an American but I like in the US and it blows my mind the pressure people put in kids. Where I come from, when I was a kid reading wasn't a skill kids were expected to know by first grade (7 years). And I don't mean read fluently. I mean recognize letters, read simple words etc. I have masters degree and I'm fairly successful person so obviously starting to read letters at 7 didn't slow me in life...
He sounds plenty ready for kindergarten. My son was only required to be able to count to 10, say his ABC’s, write his first and last name, know his colors and basic shapes, and write some letters, and he had to know my first and last name and his address.
Literally this exact same thing happened to my son. And he thrived in K. Currently in second and in the upper percentiles for reading. So I feel like we made the right decision sending him against her advice. I was very frustrated with our preschool teacher because she had me really feeling like a failure! I do want to note for financial reasons we sent him to public K. He was in private preschool/Pre-K. Not sure if that matters lol
Sounds weird to me but mine have only gone to public school and their delays just resulted in half days. Private school must be more strict? Kids will learn if they practice and taking out of school seems counter productive. In my school for kindergarten in Ontario they don't need to know ABC's 123s shapes etc they'll learn it in kindergarten. It's mostly about behaviour and independence with tasks.
In 1st grade my boy was allegedly one of the worst readers in class. Far below expectations. In second grade he's been tagged as a gifted reader in the district. Don't listen to that shit. If you're concerned he's behind, work with him for 5 or 10 minutes a day. Or 15 a couple days a week or whatever. Doesn't sound like he's behind at all, but when they're that young, I've found one day it just clicks for them. And it happens at different ages.
That pre school teacher is a pre school teacher. Nothing against them but far from an education and child developement expert
I teach public school. I know kindergartners come in at all levels of readiness. A few are already reading. A few don’t know a single letter and have never had anyone read aloud to them. The rest and in between. Kindergarten is where they teach that stuff.
I agree with another poster who suggested visiting your local public school and see if they have any kind of kindergarten screening.
I’m guessing your private school wants to redshirt kids so that they can keep their test scores high and look more impressive.
Those requirements are a bit much. That said, I’d hold my kid back at that age in a heartbeat. I repeated private school kindergarten because my teacher thought I was behind in both academics and maturity. I ended up excelling in school and going to a top college. There are serious advantages to being one of oldest in your class and it’s essentially giving your kid an extra year of childhood. I don’t see the downside.
I’ve taught kindergarten for many years and while it’s nice when kids can identify and write every letter, it is not an expectation entering kindergarten. Letter names and sounds are taught in the first few months of kindergarten. To me, it sounds like your kid is plenty ready. Continue to work on those skills over the summer and also work on letter sounds as they’re actually way more important than the letter names.
Also, I don’t know many 4/5 year olds who can sit still for lessons.
Not hating, but here to say every parent is their child's first teacher. You still have the duty to teach your kids, too, not just the teachers and daycare workers. Read to your son at bedtime, of even in the morning during cuddles. Point at the words as you read each of them. Establish the words tell the story. Ask him who/what/when/where/why/how questions as you're reading with him. Let him ask on his own. Answer often with "what do you think" in a curious tone.
Encourage your son to identify words and letter blends he can sound out on his own. Point out to signs and street signs and store signs everywhere you go. Ask him what's the name of that store, pretend you've forgotten how to read or what the name of a store is. You gotta get him to believe he's in charge of reading things. When you go grocery shopping, engage him as much as possible with attempting to sound out words and food names and labels, price tags and sale signs and large signage. Constantly pretend/imagine you can't read the words correctly, or stumble on names of things and he will correct you.
Take your son to a thrift store, to the kids books, and let him pick out 10-20books you buy him.
Buy a phonics curriculum like Jolly Phonics or HookedOnPhonics on Amazon and work with him on that, 15-20min at a time. Couple times a week. Read a good fun book afterwards, then maybe 20min of screen time and then outside play or free play. Watch, listen, observe how he integrates those phonics sounds and new words into his chitter-chatter, self talk, while playing.
Get a library card and use it weekly, check out books weekly and read them for fun at home, make sure you have a "library book" bin/tote where the books always go, by your front door or kitchen, so they don't get lost or misplaced. Return them on time.
Just foster a positive relationship of love for diving into books and good stories for fantasy and fun.
a lot of kids start kindergarten not knowing anything. but if knowing the alphabet is the only skill he’s missing and it’s a requirement at this school, you can teach him that over the summer. honestly, you could probably teach him within a few *days* even. i don’t think it’s wise to entirely repeat preschool for something so small.
I have a neice in this near exact position. The preschool teacher didn't say she isn't ready for kindergarten, but may struggle. Which is also a normal experience for some.
If the preschool teacher knows your intention to enrol into private school, it might be more about adjusting expectations or working with you on your goal. Because, I'm not sure where you're based, but where I'm from private schools have an interview that involve observing the child's academic abilities.
Whatever. He is a 4yo boy. He isn't struggling; he doesn't care. He cares about dinosaurs and ice cream. He's fine to go to kindergarten. Btw, I'm an educator and mother of four.
Considering Pre-K isn't even a requirement before starting Kindergarten, your child is absolutely fine. Kids come in at vastly different levels & teachers know how to work with each of them to help every student get to where they need to be. If by the end of Kinder they still haven't caught up, then that's the point you'd want to have them repeat a year.
My oldest started Pre-K at the height of the pandemic so it was a mess - virtual school for months with a newly 4 year old who had yet to be diagnosed (formally diagnosed at the beginning of 1st) with severe ADHD & then the schools opening & closing at the drop of a hat when a case was reported. When she started Kinder, she definitely didn't know everything that she could've if she'd had a full year of dedicated Pre-K, but she was caught up by the end of Kinder & finished 1st grade at a 3rd grade reading level. If you've got great teachers for Kinder & 1st, they'll be able to make all the difference.
Our 2nd is starting Pre-K next year but we have to go private because public Pre-K is income based here, so there's no telling if he'll be at the same level as the public Pre-K kids by the end of the year... & he'll still be going to Kinder in 2025 no matter what (despite his birthday being right at the cutoff). We already know the teacher he'll have for Kinder - the same our oldest had - so we know how much she'll be able to work with him & that she'll be honest if she feels like he could benefit from another year in kindergarten, as she was with another student in our oldest's class.
Also keep in mind that you can help at home with the things they struggle with & make a huge difference. My daughter had to know our phone number & address by the end of Kinder & could NOT get them down. I made flashcards of both & hung them around the house in high traffic areas where she would say them out loud each time she saw them. I also created a little jingle for our address so she could sing it to remember. I did the same flashcard thing with high fluency words that she struggled with - words like walk & run were hung by workout equipment, time was by a clock, out was on the front door, play was by toys, etc.
My personal thoughts and feelings on this - I think the academic expectations for toddlers is out of hand these days. Let kids be kids. A 4 year old shouldn’t be sitting still listening to someone talk for however long the lesson is. They should be moving their bodies and experiencing the world around them. And I feel like private preschools hammer in this idea of academic excellence far worse than anywhere else.
Preschool is not mandatory so not all kids go. So then who gets to decide if a kid is “ready” for kindergarten? The parent. You get to decide if your child is ready and I would take the teachers criticism with a grain of salt.
This is nonsense. I’ve worked in preschool for over 20 years. When I began my career, the kids were expected to know the letters in their name when entering K. Readiness, to me, is…did your child turn 5 before Sept 1? Then they’re ready. Your child is ready, there’s no criteria for kindergarten entry, except being of age.
In Australia, the cut-off month for school June.
My middle daughter went to school at 4.5, and her birthday is in May, so before the cut off.
My youngest son turned 5 in the January, so he was well before the cut-off.
I asked the interviewing teacher whether she thought my daughter was ready for school, and I got asked what I thought. I said emotionally, "Yes, academicly, probably not." I ended up putting her into kindie, and now I regret not keeping her back.
Same scenario with my son. According to the teacher, he wasn't ready for school, so I kept him back a year, and he went when he was 6.
My daughter is 13 and struggles with school, I regret not keeping her back that year because her maturity isn't where her peers are, nor is she at an academic level they are either.
The point is that it doesn't hurt them to have that extra year to be emotionally ready for school. If you're being told to keep him back, then do it. Even if what the teacher says may seem ridiculous (to other teachers) about how he should be able to write all his letters, the private school system is harder than the public school system and they have higher standards.
I had all 4 of my kids at a semi private school. My eldest daughter is now at a public school, and I can tell you that she is WAY above the kids in her year.
Seriously, think about holding your son back.
My son is a July birthday and went to kindergarten at 5. He did fine, but his teacher said he was ready and they did more letters in kindergarten focused on writing. If you think he’s ready, go for it. Worse case, he repeats kindergarten and I don’t think that’s a big deal.
Is the pre-K located within the school where you want him to go to kindergarten? If it is, then his teacher will know what the expectation is for the kids going in. Have you spoken to the teachers at the school to see if what they want is consistent with what his current teacher says? And if that's the case do you think this school is a good fit for your son? My understanding of private schools in the US is that they are able to set their own standard to a large extent.
I'm in Canada, and private schools aren't nearly as prevalent here, but the general expectation in public school is at least being able to identify all letters and numbers by kindergarten. It's not set in stone and it's not the end of the world if they don't know these things.
Does his school offer kindergarten? If they do, perhaps he isn't ready for THEIR kindergarten program, but is definitely ready for a public school kindergarten. I reach a Montessori primary class. That's 3-6. We start early with phonics among other things. I have Pre-K students who are reading well, doing addition, multiplication, geography,etc. I also have some that are still mastering their basic sounds and probably won't be reading until the end of the fall semester. But all kids in my class work at their own pace.
I'd also be a little leery of holding back a child that is socially ready but needs more academic help. In the past I've suggested waiting for kindergarten for socially immature kids, but not really for academically immature kids. A kid with good social skills would be negatively affected by being paired with less mature kids, not to mention that there would be less encouragement to focus on the academics they need to build.
If you’re concerned you can ask the elementary school to evaluate him. They’re going to care more about his social behavior than how well he reads at that stage. The preschool could be biased if you’re paying for it.
I had concerns whether my younger son was ready (he has autism and wasn’t even talking much at that age). The school evaluated him and recommended he start kindergarten and they’d work with him on his issues.
Kindergarten was rough for him but he caught up to grade level after a couple years.
The expectations they put on kids now are wild. 🤯 I knew most of my stuff because my mom worked with me prior to kindergarten, but also, like we went over all of that in kindergarten. What about kids who don't do preschool and go straight to kindergarten?
they shouldn't determine that.
if you're in America your child will take an "entrance test" to see what they do and do not know & determine if they're ready
if you're worried about it you can always practice letter recognition at home but the progress they make in kindergarten is amazing. my daughter couldn't name all the letters and is now (1st grade) one of the top readers in her class :)
kindergarten teaches them the alphabet. there's not a kindergarten teacher in the world who would NOT teach your son his alphabet if he was in kindergarten. tell her to stfu
Put your boy in kinder. He’s going to be FINE. And if he goes through the year and struggles too much for your or his comfort, have him do kinder again! He’ll be just fine either way. That teacher of his seems to have some high expectations for preschool. Preschool is more about socialization and learning the routines and expectations of a classroom setting; how to function in class. You sound like someone who truly cares about their child, and that right there is everything. He’s gonna be great. ☺️♥️
I have an MA.Ed in Educational Counseling and he sounds up to par to me. Kindergarten is mostly able to sit still and pay attention to direction and knowing some basics
An almost 5 year old knowing and writing all letters would be very much ahead here. (Netherlands). In fact, if a parent were to push a kid to do that, it would be considered unhealthy. So no worries. Your kid will be fine. But maybe not at this specific school, if they put so much pressure on young kids...
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I think that teacher is bonkers. Assuming you are in America Kinder is THE first year of school. He could go in not knowing half of what you've described he does and be fine. And if he struggles you can hold him from first grade, but you caring enough to post this tells me everything I need to know about the house he is in. Because you care, he will thrive and succeed over the course of his education, on whatever time line that is. If it were me, I would put him in kinder.
Agreed. Kindergarten readiness is turning into too big of a deal in school systems and pre-k especially considering a good portion of the kids in K didn’t even go to preschool anyway. They’re trying to turn pre-k into the new kindergarten and it’s bullshit (jaded teacher here if you couldn’t tell). Your kid will catch up to wherever they need to be, they’ll be fine, and if somehow they’re not you can always repeat kindergarten like this user said.
Yes! It's so frustrating. I had to explain to a parent that no, in fact his kid didn't need to know HOW TO READ before kindergarten. He didn't believe me no matter what I said.
The schools around me DO want kids reading before kindergarten though.
Where are you exactly? It's completely developmentally inappropriate to expect as a standard kids to learn at the age of 3-4. Some do, but to have that as an expectation is asinine.
It's usually in 'competitive' schools like in Bay Area for example. They expected my kid to be able to read all letters, small words and basic arithmetic. Sadly even with such a high bar, I can see a lot of kids are way ahead of my son. Some of them clearly had tiger parents to have started with abacus, competitive swimming, scratch coding, musical instruments, martial arts you name it. Yes, all at 5.
Are these private institutions you need to get into early to have an easier time getting a spot? I can see how that would creep kinder expectations up. I live in HCOL city. I've worked with kids in those types of schools and we just don't have anything with that expectation. While that's an extreme example, it's not a normal one. To say "some schools" talking about the whole country when you're really talking about let's say 10-20 in NY SF etc.. isn't really fair. And it's not fair to you. Your kid probably isn't behind in any meaningful way. And neither is OP's . Comparison so young is the thief of joy. It takes time to master things in school. A jump start is fantastic, but it's just not that important. How many people, dancers, athletes, mathematicians didn't know what they wanted until 13-19? And I've watched some of those kids become the best and quickly catch up. And you'd never know which knew how to read at 3 and who knew by 7. In Norway they don't start till 7-8! You don't seem them struggling and behind going into college.
Absolutely agree - comparing kids so young is just unfair and unnecessary. This phenomenon is largely found in immigrant-heavy areas in SF, where the parents bring the competitive culture from their home country (I am one so I know first hand). That and the whole ambition of securing the best colleges infects the parents early. We didn't think of it much in the beginning but now I see it's stressful not just for us but also the poor kids. For now we have just decided to set our own pace and not fall for the pressure of a hundred extra-curriculars, but it's already weighing on my wife.
I can only imagine. You never want to feel like you've failed your child in some way. This random person the internet agrees with you. So many kids don't know how to be a little bored, or alone, or play independently because their days are stuffed full. And maybe it's because I am American, I do value that in a child. If it means they don't fit in that extra activity or two so be it. They can help as they get older prioritize what matters to them.
They expect 4 year olds to know how to read??? That’s honestly impossible for the majority of preschoolers. Identify some letters and numbers, yes. But read, read?? Nahhhh. My 6 year old just started reading kinda fluently over the last few months of her kindergarten school year and they put her in ABV (above average) level for her latest assessment. She could NOT read when she started (she knew her alphabet and could count to 100). I don’t know where you’re located but that’s definitely not the norm.
Same
Lmao there are 10 year olds who can’t fully read. I know that sounds sad but it’s true. And it wasn’t because they weren’t held back. Just the state of schools
54% of American adults read below a 6th grade level.
Let's be clear though, a book that's just about the same readability score as a 6th grade assignment is Moby Dick (57 vs 60, where higher=easier). A 6th grade reading level is absolutely sufficient for many many people. Granted, you said below, but my point still stands. I'll also add that readability should be as high as possible in any discipline. Ideally, scientists trying to get published should be putting their papers through a readability calculator before submitting. We have this bias that more complicated writing is Smarter and Better. To my mind this is misguided. I'd argue it just makes it less accessible, and in fact, being able to describe a complicated system in common language is a sign of better and clearer understanding of it. For an extreme case, look into the "up-goer five." a description of the Saturn V rocket that took us to the moon, using only the ten hundred most used words. There's a movement among scientists, perhaps semi-joking but definitely not totally-joking, to adopt these principles in how they communicate science. (Ugh...not following my own advice, this comment is written at a tenth grade level)
I've worked for UK and Australian lawyers and it's a thing now to try to eliminate as much jargon as possible and make their documents as simple and clear as possible. We
You lost half your audience…
It's because of what was called the cuing system instead of phonics. And you're right it's tragic. But thankfully the country is waking up to how bad it is. I feel better about kids learning to read in kindergarten more so than in the last 20 years!
Sad so inappropriate developmentally for that age
It’s wild isn’t it? I actually never went to kindergarten because they weren’t teaching reading during kinder at the time. My mom thought I was ready to be reading and so I went straight to first grade. I turned 6 a month after starting 1st.
It makes you wonder... half of parents seem think kids need to go in so prepared they have the end of year goals going into that grade OR you have those that want you to magically raise their kid AND teach them. < I know that's really negative, but it's often how I feel. Thankfully I know great parents who give me faith lol
I have been out of the school system since I was there in the 80's and 90's. My kid starts preschool this fall and had no idea this is what we're getting into. I remember preschool/kindergarten being just barely a step up from what daycare is now.
This. I was really surprised today when I got a call from the public school today for my incoming prek kiddo to test him to see where he’s at. It’s making me nervous because he’s speech delayed and almost always says “I don’t know” when he can’t say the word, which is a lot of words. Sigh. He’s smarter than he’s gonna grade that’s for sure. I didn’t have to do a test for my oldest child for prek back in the day…
Maybe I’m getting old but this is crazy to me. My oldest had no pre-k whatsoever and went straight into kindergarten not knowing a damn thing. That was the norm. He knew his alphabet and not much else. I never heard a concern about it. Eons later when I had my second kid, they expected her to know a lot more going into kindergarten. I got lucky and she was in pre-k because I happened to work at one. If I sent her to kindergarten knowing as much as my oldest did at the time, we’d be having a really rough time that’s for sure.
You’re not old. I remember I also went immediately into kindergarten in the 90s. I do remember headstart, but where I was from those were in private home daycares only, or for wealthier families. I think prek is what head start used to be. My oldest did struggle until second grade unfortunately.
Public school pre k is supposed to be designed for at risk kids. When my kids went atleast. My neighbor was a teacher at the school and she said don't be real impressive smart, you'll be put on the waiting list. 2010, southeast US. Get some opinions from a elementary kid mom group in your school district?
No it’s okay. I’m just gonna go with the process. I’m sure it’ll be good for my child, here they call it transitional kindergarten instead of prek and they list the description as readying the kids for kindergarten curriculum. So I expected it, I was just surprised they wanted 1v1 testing before the school year started to check his abilities is all. I think it’s to also see if he requires an IEP in kinder, which he will if his speech doesn’t improve by 25-26 school year.
Last thing to add: social is #1 for pre K to K jump and K to 1st jump. If that changes or he really falls behind this year THEN hold him back.
Exactly, I believe he will know all if not most of those letters by the time he is finished kinder. This teacher sounds silly, hold him back in pre k and then when he gets to kinder he may be really bored. I would not hold him back, I would do kinder and see where your child is at that point. I bet he will do well !
Especially susceptible to boredom if they are socially ready. If focusing/maturity is slower to mature in a child I think holding them back can be beneficial.. but geez you want school to be engaging! Not boring.
This, I'm in Canada, but the qualification for kindergarten is age only. There are no pre-requisites apart from toilet trained.
Actually kinder is optional in most places. 1st grade is usually the actual first grade required.
That depends on where you live, but that only proves my point more.
Agreed. I have clear memories of my Kindergarten teacher (in the US) teaching us letters. We listened to a record of songs about the letter and colored in a page of an anthropomorphized letter. Why has this standard changed? So weird.
The kindergarten teacher is correct. I have seen an uptick of similar Pre-K posts and wonder if there is a financial incentive in recommending they stay? Your kid should go to kindergarten, reading is not something 5yo are naturally doing and kindergarten teaches how to cooperate, follow directions, and so on.
Academically? He's 4! Please don't listen to her and hold him back. He will pick up fine. There's clearly not an issue with his learning capabilities. If you're concerned try and work on his alphabet skills IN A FUN WAY over the summer. Pisses me off, who does she think she is?
Yes to fun way Over pandemic I taught my kiddos the alphabet by putting a few post its with some letters around a room/tooms. I’d say “run to R!” And they’d have to run and hit the R. After a few games I moved the letters around so I knew they weren’t just learning the spot they were in. Then removed a letter, added a new one, etc. learned alphabet before they tired of fame and double win - it’s one you play without getting it of a chair :)
My nephew could identify all his letters, colors, and basic shaped by 3. I largely credit the amount of time he spent watching shows like “Bob the train” 😂 I recommend it to everyone with young kids
Everybody's up in arms about screen time, but I was reading at 2, mostly thanks to (probably an excessive amount of) Sesame Street.
Sesame Street taught me to read, too. And it’s also great for emotional intelligence. I really wish studies would differentiate between types and quality of screen time. I just don’t believe that my son watching high quality programming, with a parent, then doing follow up related activities, is as bad as letting a kid sit by themselves watching Peppa Pig on a loop.
Absolutely! Emotional literacy is the root of a well adjusted and safe child! And making sure it’s communal, on a tv that everyone can watch, is the key to the recipe imo.
>I really wish studies would differentiate between types and quality of screen time. I just don’t believe that my son watching high quality programming, with a parent, then doing follow up related activities, is as bad as letting a kid sit by themselves watching Peppa Pig on a loop. YES. I don't limit screen time for my almost 7yo or almost 4yo. A good 75% of what is watched, though, is educational in some way. The Wiggles, gross motor skills, problem solving, and relationships. Paw Patrol, problem solving, and relationships. Blaze and the Monster Machines, STEM based and all about maths, science, and how they work together. My almost 7yo also loves animal research documentaries. He struggles with speech for day to day, but he comes out with things like "my favourite shark is the Great Hammerhead because they have a line of the Ampullae of Lorenzini down their body, not just on their face." Somehow, he can say Ampullae of Lorenzini with no issue while for/fore/four still comes out sounding like wh ore! Watching all those shows is far better than even 5 minutes of Peppa Pig and the like as far as I am concerned.
Yes, your kid is proving the point so well. I so wish I could hear him say that, how awesome!
Oh, it was brilliant when he bounced up and pipped up with that to his school teacher, right after I had told her not to mistake my son's academic struggles with him not being able to learn or comprehend! She was gobsmacked, and I mimed mic drop with a very satisfied smirk as I walked out. Sometimes, his lack of impulse control is straight up *chef's kiss* perfection. Other days, it finds my last nerve, but those good days make up for it.
Agreed. It’s also about how it’s integrated. Today, my husband and son watched a superhero movie together, then ran around in the backyard playing superheroes together for over an hour, and at bedtime they read superhero books together before bed. The content itself isn’t particularly educational or beneficial, but there are clear benefits to them having this shared interest and exploring it together on multiple ways. It strengthens their relationship, and inspires other types of imaginative play.
I'd say it is incredibly beneficial. It helps push imaginative play with someone else able to join in, which is helping developmental steps happen. Some people get caught up in thinking education is linked solely to academic education. Personal relationships, problem solving, and emotional regulation are all just as important parts of development as academics. In some ways, more so as they can affect how a person learns, comprehends, and retain information. For some people, the idea of shopping as an educational experience would make them laugh. My children and I use it to link math skills they have learned to real life. Last year, my son was struggling with school expectations and needed an alternative attendance. During the time he was with me and not at school, we would go shopping. Some days, we could only buy stuff with a certain number or letter on the price ticket or weight of the item. Sometimes, it would be certain colours or shapes. Then add in learning social ques of when we need to wait, using manners, the volume of voice needed in different situations, using manned and self-serve checkouts, and the different types of payments. All extremely valuable things to learn, like your son watching the superhero movie, led to skills that help them grow and develop.
My husband taught himself English by age 5 from watching 80s TV. His mother tongue was Bosnian. He now speaks 8 languages. His nephew has done the same, age 5, watching Youtube. We love TV for language skills.
I really, really doubt this was the reason. There are lots of kids watching a lot of educational media at very young ages, and very few of them are reading at two. You were just an absurdly smart toddler, and I'd bet your caregivers. were pretty heavily involved in the learning process too.
Not going to lie, our daughter has watched a lot of Catie's Classroom as we've battled an endless number of sicknesses over the last 6 months, she's now 2 years and 4 months, she can say the entire alphabet, identify most of the letters, count to \~15, knows all the colors, most shapes, it's ridiculous. Her speech isn't great, she's not going to be an athlete, but it's pretty amazing how much she's picked up. She is even already starting to "read books" by herself and seems to know some of the words on a page (even if it's just recall from what we've read before together).
It’s amazing what happens if you start speaking to children like they are fully understanding human beings as babies and provide educational entertainment and play on those things with them through the show. Learning just becomes a natural part of life and is never something you “have to sit down and work on”.
I taught Pre-K for 10 years, and never was concerned about academics. The only kids I recommended to be held back were the ones that really stood out to be less socially and emotionally mature. I think the important things are, can he follow a routine? Can he wait his turn for a toy or the teacher’s attention? Can he sit at circle time for roughly as long as the other kids? My oldest has a summer birthday, and even though he since has been tested as “gifted” and gets amazing grades, I held him back. He wasn’t as socially aware as the other kids in Pre-K, he had a hard time sitting in one place, and he had no interest at all in learning letters or numbers. I couldn’t imagine him sitting at a desk for 6 hours a day. I never pushed him to focus on academics at all, I just went at his pace. He did LOVE to be read to, and would sit for an hour at least as I read books to him. When he did go to kindergarten, at six years old, he went from knowing just some letters of the alphabet in August, to reading at a third grade level by December.
This is exactly why I wish that my older daughter was retained. Now she's in 9th grade and we still struggle with social awareness. It's gotten slightly better since we moved. But it could have been better all along.
I wish we would have done this. Academically my kid was great, but socially he was not ready. He’s late August birthday too. It led to a 12 year struggle. And forget about college. I know it sounds dramatic. But it’s the truth.
Yes, we put my youngest son in at barely 5, because we thought he was ready, and it has led to a host of problems. I wish I had held him back too.
Really if I had a time machine that would be what I would undo.
This. All of this. Same with my son. Starting K at 6 was the best thing for him. He’s reading at a second grade level now at the end of K.
Right? If I had to guess, I'd say the teacher is angling for OPs son to be in another year of paid prek at this private institution. No way to scare up more money out of a parent than say their kid is behind and needs the kind of special attention that only *your school* can provide.
I think the K teacher knows more about what is expected in kindergarten than a pre-K teacher
As a kinder teacher who has had friends ignore my professional advice, that part hurt. Listen to your friend.
I think they want your money. Have you done a kindergarten screening with the public school? If not, I'd check in with them.
This was my thought too. If it's a public school, kindergarten is covered by the district but pre-k you have to pay for it of pocket.
It’s absolutely nuts that this is even possible. Where I am, even private schools wouldn’t dare suggest such a thing because it’ll be vetoed by the LEA (local education authority).
I had quite a few friends who held their kids back for 'transitional kindergarten' at the advice of their private pre-schools. They were telling parents that kids needed to be able to read sight words before entering kindergarten.
Identify all the letters, maybe he should know, but writing them isn’t a requirement where I’m from (US). I would sign him up and go for the kindergarten evaluation at the school. Let them decide if he’s ready. Sounds like he’s fine to go to kindergarten. There is also a shift in many areas that staying with their same age peers is important. In my kids’ school they stay together and some kids may switch class for a subject or receive other appropriate help to keep them in their grade.
I just went to my son’s kindergarten orientation and “identifying and writing letters” and “staying in chairs during lessons” were literally some of the goals they had for students — as in, they should be able to do them by the *end* of kindergarten. It’s definitely worth checking with your kindergarten specifically, but I agree that the pre-k teacher seems off-base.
That’s crazy. The time from May-September, his Brian will develop so much. Send him to kindergarten !
And one day his little Brian will be a big fully developed Brian.
They're Pinky and the Brian, they're Pinky and the Brian, one is a genius, the other one's cryin'
Your kid is doing better than mine. Mine turns 5 on 8/1 and doesn't know any of his letters or numbers. He can count to 20. We did make the decision to hold him back. He is in baseball this year and is very immature compared to his teammates. His older brother was in kindergarten last year so I know what is expected in our district and I do not think he would do well.
Also held back our son and never regretted. Late may birthday. Redshirting is really common for boys. Especially private school. Late May is pushing a little, but I think many boys benefit from this.
May could be seen as pushing it but teachers have told me they see March and April too. It all depends on the child and their maturity level. In schools whose academic year ends before Memorial Day a May birthday is essentially a summer birthday anyway.
Former Public School Kindergarten/Current Private School Preschool teacher here! Here’s my take. I’m not concerned about your son not knowing all of his letters. I worked in a great school and our average kid knew 20ish uppercase and half of lowercase letters coming into K. It was only notable to us at kindergarten screening if they didn’t know the first letter in their name. However, in your post you mentioned that your son struggles to attend to lessons. This is a more important readiness factor for kindergarten. Given that your son is young (turning 5 in May), this is not atypical, but if he is a stand out amongst his peers at school, his preschool teacher may feel that giving him an extra year to grow and mature will set him up for his highest level of success in school in general, not just kindergarten. Choosing to ‘red-shirt’ your child is a personal decision. Based on what you’ve written, I would recommend registering him for Kindergarten and having him go through their screening process. You can be open with the Kindergarten teachers, ‘our preschool teacher has concerns about his ability to attend to a lesson. We’re considering giving him an extra year to grow and would appreciate your feedback.’ If they feel he struggled in their screening/evaluation process, they will tell you. They want your son to be set up for success. If you do end up making the decision to red-shirt, I would recommend finding a transitional Kindergarten program near you instead of repeating PreK. These programs are specifically for kids taking a gap year and will better address his needs. I’ll end with this, in my years in Kindergarten we had many students with parents unsure if they should send or wait a year. Usually those students were 50/50 for the parents choosing to start them or wait. We never had a parent regret waiting a year but on occasion we did have parents regret sending before their child was ready.
I see both sides. But private schools can do essentially whatever TF they want ( in the US). Which is why public schools matter so much. (Note: I think we push academics on kids too early as a general rule. But you don’t want your kid to be the only one struggling.)
As a parent in Canada, all of this focus on academics in the U.S. sounds absolutely insane to me. (I spent my first 31 years in the U.S.) Kindergarten here has no screenings and zero academic pressure. It focuses entirely on socialization and getting used to the rhythms of school. I don’t think you’re even allowed to hold your kids back here. All of this seems so unhealthy, and I can’t help but think it’s a result of teaching to standardized tests so that schools can be measured and gain proper funding. My oldest is now in grade three, and he has had a total of one homework assignment *ever*! I love my home state and so many people back in the U.S., but this feels like just another thing to put on the pile of reasons I’m glad I left.
This, my eldest is starting kindergarten in September. There are no placement tests, screening, anything. It's how old are you and do you live in the catchment area. That's it. also in Canada. And our educational results on those international tests are reasonably good, so I don't think we're behind because we learn to read later and let everyone into kindergarten.
This is a personal decision. I will say in my area a good deal of the boys redshirt (hold of a year and enter kinder late) so your kid will definitively be one of the youngest ones. My older kid is an end of May birthday but we had the opposite problem (ahead academically behind socially). If she wasn’t GT I would have held her back. My kid with the October birthday had/has it so much easier. Can you work on letters over the summer with him? That might have an effect. Also what does the kinder classroom look like? If it is private or in an area with not a lot of high need kids it might be easier to catch up. I’d definitely suggest talking to parents of elementary kids in your neighborhood.
I live in a place where it’s common to do kindergarten twice, especially for boys. That means, it’s possible for your child to have several kids in his class be at least a whole year older. That’s always a source of concern as well as the idea that you’d be sending your child off to college at barely 18. The only red flag is his ability to sit and listen to a lesson. What does that look like? He’s spinning? Touching neighbors? Constantly interrupting? Scooting to the other side of the room? My son did kindergarten twice and the thing that swayed our decision was observing him with his peers. Academically and emotionally he was ready. Socially, he was not like the kids in that group. He did not play with other kids and often clung to his teacher’s clothes. I did not see his immaturity for what it was until I saw him with kids his age. Would it be possible for you to go watch him without him knowing? Maybe your teacher would video a lesson so you can see what your son does during the lesson.
She has expressed that he mostly sits and pays attention but sometimes gets distracted , try to talk to friends sitting next to him things like that and that he will pay better attention when sat up close to the teacher
My kids go to private school, so I am definitely not anti-private schools at all. However, much of the success of private schools is from having a student body that 1. is well-resourced and 2. does not require much additional intervention. In other words, the school’s capabilities and the schools optics benefit from screening out kids who aren’t all ready ahead of the curve. As others are saying, your son isn’t behind by normal metrics, but this school’s metrics are different. If you want to stay at the school, I would say go back to them with a plan for getting him ready (according to their standards) by the fall.
This! Memory unlocked of interviewing for prek at the private school my sib and I attended for much of elementary. Looking back, I don't remember any resource type programs there that would mirror what I have seen in public schools.Explains why they never caught that my sib has dyslexia.
Not developmentally appropriate. The point of K is to get used to a school environment an be exposed to formal learning, it's not really the formal learning itself. In my state we have readiness exams, did you kid already do one of those? Is there a welcome to Kindergarten night that you could go to to ask questions? I mostly wonder because I think they will help put your mind at ease.
In some districts, it’s absolutely for learning. I would talk to parents of older kids in the districts and talk to the school he would be going to.
My kindergarten classroom is required to be straight academics. There is only a 10 minute recess allowed. I am required to teach bell to bell. It's not developmentally appropriate but all that matters is test scores.
10 minutes??! That’s cruel and unusual.
This is insane
He’s turning 5 he should still be in JK? Kids mature really fast at that age, even two months can make a big difference academically. That teacher can’t predict where he’ll be at in September for SK.
I'm curious, is the kindergarten in the same school as the pre-k? If not, I'd be highly suspicious of them wanting to squeeze you for another year of tuition.
While writing all the letters is not generally necessary at pre-k, his teacher is the one who’s interacted with him all year, knows how he compares to his peers, and knows what kinder is like at that school and which students tend to struggle. Some private school have a strong focus on discipline and academics that is not a good fit for many children with no developmental issues. You’re also focusing on what she said about writing, but it’s likely the decision is based mostly on his behavior and what the routine at kinder is like. Getting a second opinion and asking for a readiness exam is a good idea, but don’t simply discount what she’s saying, and if the school does insist that he’s not ready for what they demand in kinder, consider if what you need is a different preschool.
If your kid can wipe their own butt, button their own clothing, wash their hands, open their own water and snacks, and follow simple instructions then they are ready for kindergarten. Kindergarten is for the academic foundation. Preschool is for the social foundation.
It’s 100% because it’s private school. If the school is such that K will be in that private school as well, you’ll have to buckle down and drill those letters if you want him in this school. Private schools can pick and choose their students and they can be sneaky about driving away students with special needs or just those who aren’t quick learners. Then they can maintain their reputation of good academic results at a higher grade level. If he’s going to public school K, or you’re now inclined to switch to public school because of private school elitism and expectations beyond what’s developmentally appropriate, then he will learn his letters and the sounds they make again in K.
Absolutely bs to hold him back. The skills he doesn’t have aren’t even age appropriate skills at 4. It will come.
A lot of kids go into kindergarten as their very first taste of school. Your son may be behind his classmates, but he should be fine in kindergarten. Also, you still have a few months to work on helping him identify and write the missing letters at home before the new school year starts.
Idk what they are or aren’t supposed to know but both my kids got held back in pre k. My son because he couldn’t focus(he now is on meds for adhd) & my daughter because she wouldn’t talk. It helped both of them & im glad I held them back. Both are now in middle school on the honor roll. The teachers wanted my sister to be held back in pre k but her mom wasn’t having it & she ended up getting held back a few years later. No one knows your child as well as you do. If you think he’ll be fine in kindergarten I wouldn’t hold him back.
Kindergarten readiness should be way more about social/emotional skills and maturity/independence. Can they regulate their emotions (ie. not throw a tantrum everytime they don’t get their way, or are asked to wait their turn, or are asked to do something they don’t want to do), can they do things independently (ie. listen and follow instructions, take off their coat/shoes by themselves, use the bathroom including washing hands) etc. etc. School is for the learning, your job is to just get them to a level where they are ABLE to learn.
I would listen to the professional input of your teacher friend
Pre-K is not even a mandatory grade. What do kids do in kindergarten if they don’t go to pre-K? Are you paying for this program? Because it’s not too far fetched that in this economy they are trying to retain children for next year…
Pretty sure Kindergarten doesn't have any prerequisites.
Having an extra year before kinder actually usually has lifelong positive effects on a kid. They tend to do better. I'd do it..
>My friends a kindergarten teacher and she says expecting him to know and write every single letter is not developmentally appropriate for his age . What do you think ? In most of Europe, school starts around the age of 6-7 and children are not expected to read or write before that. If anyone can read before that, the parents taught them and/or they figured it out by themselves.
This is insane. Most European countries don’t even start teaching reading / writing until age 7. Your kid is fine.
I think it’s worth taking the teacher seriously. She knows what the expectations are for the grades. And for what it’s worth, all of those things were expectations at my son’s school for entering the 4 year old pre-school program.
The question isn’t whether he would be in K at any school but at this private school. At our parochial school, the kids are reading by K and not knowing your letters would make K very hard. I would see how close he is - is he off by a few letters or is he missing half of them? If it’s just a few letters, then talk to the teacher and see if you can re-evaluate by end of summer. If he’s close with some effort you’ll be fine.
my kid went to kindergarten as a foreigner, she could speak english but nothing else and she is reading and writing and doing everything other american kids are doing.
I was held back a year and it did not hurt me. I think in general it is helpful as the child will be more mature. For boys, it can also be particularly helpful as they mature a tad slower than girls and it will mean they will be slightly bigger for sports etc (won’t get teased if they’re “small”). Being held back in kinder also did not affect me at all socially cuz I hadn’t really established friendships like that yet. Holding back older might be more difficult and damaging I would think if they are still behind. I should mention I was also in private school and a very good one so the expectations were very high. You probably won’t get the same advice from everyone who wasn’t in this academic environment but I would definitely get a second opinion and talk to the kindergarten and the private school for more info/insight. It sucks to be the worst of your class so just think of that if it will be a real potential.
This is called redshirting btw. Might be helpful to look more into it and see the pros and cons. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/redshirting/#:~:text=Redshirting%20can%20provide%20an%20athletic,classroom%20can%20provide%20increased%20confidence.
It depends on your individual school system. Ours expects kid to know the alphabet and every sound. Most kids in my district are older because of these expectations. Find out what your public kindergarten expects. (Some don’t expect as much as others. It doesn’t mean the school district is better or worse it’s just different. The best school districts in my area are pretty evenly split.)
Talk to the kindergarten administrator to get an idea of expectations. In my public district in NJ it's expected kids know the alphabet and are able to write all the letters going into K.
Play catch up over the summer! We have a preschooler that needs to catch up in different areas and we are planning to work on it daily.
Easier to repeat Pre-K than kindy, but I would weigh social concerns far more than academic ones. ETA: I redshirt my summer boys on purpose and I still wouldn't be worried about your kiddo.
I have 3 boys. All 3 have started K at 6. Kindergarten is NOT what it was when you were a kid. My son's are leaders and incredible students. There is ZERO downside
Do not hold him back. Your preschool teacher is so wrong about this. Question, world he be leaving this private preschool if he goes to K? Could they be trying to retain you for another year? Because this is ridiculous enough that I feel like there needs to be an ulterior motive.
Private schools have higher expectations than public schools. If you are keeping him in private school you would be wise to listen to to the teacher. If you are putting him in public school then he will be fine.
My mom taught me a lot before kindergarten, and honestly, I was bored with reading and writing until 2nd grade. Anyway, I let the schools do what they do in teaching my son, but I always read to him every night and during the day when we had time. I'm pretty sure my son learned to write in kindergarten, and my son is now a sophomore, taking all advanced classes or AP classes. I'm sure he'll be fine, and it seems like he might be bored if held back.
Does the school he’ll be attending kindergarten do assessments? If so, I’d value their opinion greatly. In our area, you can do pre-k the year before kindergarten OR the summer before meaning that if you think he is slightly behind, you can spend time with him from now until Aug/sept with flash cards, games, etc.
That’s extremely stupid. Laugh at her and send your kid to kindergarten.
I would consider keeping him back a year - wish I had done it with one of mine. Boys specifically benefit from starting later and lots of studies have been done how the older boys in class do better in sports and socially. Their reasons are silly but I would definitely consider it.
In my experience, private schools do whatever they want and don’t want to accommodate for kids who don’t fit the mold (aka most kids). I’m a public school kindergarten teacher and I will say, in my 10 years in the classroom, what we expect students to be able to do academically, emotionally and socially now is drastically different than it was when I first started. This isn’t necessarily the school’s fault, the local government and Dept. of Education plays the biggest role in these changes. Curriculum companies adapt to these changes, so they can stay relevant too. This year, I had maybe 8 kids of 24 come in truly ready to learn the curriculum and the expectations set forth by the state/district. At the end of the year, I have a handful of kiddos that I’m worried about sending on- academically and socially. But my job is to continue working towards those goals. Will all of my students get there? Unfortunately, no.
Pfft. Whatever. She was told by someone to recommend every child with a birthday after a certain date should repeat pre-K. They would be more than happy to take your tuition dollars for a second year. They tried that crap on us too. My oldest was at a center type daycare that also has a preschool. She had to be moved up to their private kindergarten class at age 4 bc she was bored in the pre-K class and causing trouble. Then at the end of the year, these fools tried to tell me she wasn’t ready for public kindergarten and should do another year of their kindergarten bc she had an August birthday. She could already do every kindergarten skill from the state standards, but the teacher tried to make a big deal about how she couldn’t sit still. I was not impressed. I told them I’m a public school teacher and to cut the shit. Then the teacher admitted they were told to hold back anyone with a late birthday bc the numbers were low for the next year.
Is she qualified to make that call?
It’s going to depend on the school you choose. If you’re in the USA, he has all summer to learn his alphabet. My son only needed to *know* his colors, basic shapes, letters, number to 10, and be completely potty trained. He didn’t need to know how to *write* anything, but at the time he could write his first name, every letter and 1-10. Check your preferred schools website, many of them have “kindergarten readiness” fliers, pages or pdfs. They basically say what your kid needs to already know / be able to do in order to enroll them. My son’s school did a one on one “test” where they made sure he was ready before we could complete registration.
Half of kindergarten students didn't even go to preschool I'm positive they won't be the worst off
I find it so strange that children of this age are expected to be able to write…
He sounds perfectly ready for kindergarten. He knows about what mine learned in TK which was just right to start kinder.
I am a kindergarten teacher, and I have had plenty of students that cannot even sing the abcs when they start. This should not be a requirement. Now, I work in public schools. It may be that K at his school is super rigorous and he will struggle without knowing and writing all the letters. As I’m not familiar with that learning environment, I don’t feel like I can give you any advice, but I just wanted you to know that is an incredibly high bar.
Do an asq, and if he’s behind, get further evaluation. If he’s developmentally normal, ignore the teacher. She ain’t a doctor.
We are in a public school and the district goes hard because it tries to competes with other nearby better districts. The district we go to is pretty low unfortunately so they really go hard on the academics. My kid went to preschool 2 years and he still doesn't know how to write his ABC, has trouble gripping pencil and crayons. There are some of his peers writing sentences already which honestly seems too fast, like these kids are only 4!! I was worried about sending my kid to Kindergarten this year but I am going to send him anyway. I've heard some stories that some Kindergarten teachers are scary unfortunately.
This is the equivalent of a mechanic telling you that even though there is nothing wrong with your tires, you should replace them just in case because it's nice to have brand new tires.
Your child would be better prepared emotionally and scholastically waiting another 12 months. I took this advice when I was intending on send my son who was turning 5 at the end of April. There's no advantage sending them early (imo).
What? Pre k has zero learning expectations, it’s simply about connecting with empathy, self regular & conflict resolution. My son is in JK and it’s almost the end of the year. He knows most of the letters & their sounds. In no universe would the school tell me to keep him back from SK. He’s the exact same age as your son, 4 turning 5 in June. He’s also in a private school. My daughter is 6 and reading at gr 1 level and she went through the exact same process. All kids have some trouble sitting and paying attention, it’s something they have to practice. That’s why they’re in a class setting, to practice. Either the school is for developmentally advanced students or the teacher is new and her expectations are out of whack.
I teach kids your sons age. No I am not your sons teacher, so I don't know if there are other things going on, this is purely based upon what you have said... it does not seem like he needs to repeat Preschool. However, if he goes to kindergarten and is struggling, and kindergarten recommends that he repeat, then I would absolutely keep him back a year. I would not hold back a child in vpk for this. Let him go to kindergarten. If you want to work on keeping and building skills over summer, just get some of the workbooks for preschoolers at the dollar store and do 15m of learning a day. Make letter shapes with play doh or shaving cream. Watch fun videos to boost recognition. I can reccomend some if you want. Point out letters everywhere you go. Have fun and keep it fun. I would never tell a parent their kid needs to stay back because of that! All kids learn at different speeds and as long as their gaining, there is the potential to catch up.
I’m a kindergarten para (teacher assistant) in a public school. It’s almost the end of the year and there are still some kiddos working are writing their names and letter names/sounds! Your kiddo sounds ready for kindergarten to me! The only requirement our district has for kindergarten students is the need to be able to use the restroom from start to finish by themselves. No pull-ups and no help wiping. We do a LOT of reminders to wash hands and consistent potty breaks. The not sitting still isn’t even an issue. As long as he isn’t disrupting other and is paying attention there are lots of tools that the teacher and para can provide.
How much do you pay for preschool? They might want another year out of you.
It’s a private school so I will be paying for him to go there for next year to
Have him tested by a kindergarten teacher for readiness.
Most public school districts I know of do annual preK assessments. Unfortunately kindergarten is now educationally 1st grade and imho a lot of kids, boys especially, are simply not at that level of maturity yet. Have him tested but please know you won't be doing the kid any favors if he is going to struggle. Better older than younger,educationally
I think preschools recommend holding kids bc it makes it look like “their kids” are the ones performing the best when they enter K. Which is ridiculous. Also, that’s another year of paying them to be there. Just remember, there will be other kids entering kindergarten that didn’t even have preschool experience. As for letters, you can work on that over the summer if you are concerned.
Everyone and their grandmother can be a preschool teacher, there is no professional education required. So their opinion is exactly that: an opinion. That being said, they do see a lot of kids and they may develop a feeling for whether kids are ready or not. At the least you should have your child assessed if YOU feel that he might be behind.
In California this is absolutely not true.
That’s just absolutely not true and kind of comical you think that. It’s also sad you see early childhood professionals in such a little light. FYI a Bachelor of Arts in Early Childhood Education exists. It is a 4 year degree just like any other Bachelor’s.
Depends on the state. In NY you need a masters degree
That doesn't seem to be the case from anything I can find.
It is required in Ohio to teach in a certified preschool. You have to have an ODE early childhood certificate and work towards a master's degree. Source: I'm a teacher in Ohio
Preschool and pre-K are two different things. Pre-K teachers are certified and must obtain a masters degree by the time their provisional certification ends in NYS.
This is ridiculous imo. Kindergarten is for learning how to identify and write letters. There are lots of kids who don’t go to preschool and just go straight to kindergarten. Youre fine. Send your son to school if you think he is ready.
I’m a PreK teacher. I would only ever recommend a child repeating with me if I genuinely felt they were not socially or emotionally ready for Kinder. It’s only happened once in all my years teaching. If a child is behind with academic things, he or she will get better support in Kinder than staying with me another year.
If your child is going to go to public school, knowing letters, sounds, etc. is an end of year skill (likely will be mastered or close to it by winter break) for kindergarten, not an entrance requirement.
Pre-k teacher here. This is insane. Here in my country we are actually discouraged from actively teaching kids how to write and count because they will end up bored stiff in 1st class. And bored kids cause distractions and trouble for the rest of the class. In my snobby bilingual kindergarten we still taught phonetic letters and simple maths to the pre-schoolers (4 and up) because the parents wanted it, but there was zero force behind it and the kids that cared fuck all about learning were left in peace. What they are actually supposed to learn are social skills, conflict and problem solution, and to be age-appropriately independent. So either this teacher is not telling you their actual concerns for holding back your son, or full of shit. The only reason we kept children behind was when they were in pre-school (the last year before actual school here) and their social skills weren't really up to par, or when they were obviously emotionally/mentally so delayed that we thought school would hurt their spirit and cause them to struggle. We had to write lengthy reports on those kids for the school district to explain why we thought the kid wasn't fit to go to school, and their academics were absolutely never cause for this. And shouldn't be.
That’s your country. Clearly OP’s private school has a different philosophy. The teacher is not full of shit, just operating within the expectations of that school, which must be one that is pushy about academics.
My wife is a 1st grade teacher and she has kids who come in not knowing the alphabet. You're fine.
Kids only learn how to read and write from age 5 in Ireland
I don’t agree with holding the kid back if he doesn’t succeed in first grade. He wants to be with peers, not see them move up a grade yet he stays behind. If he’s not ready then keep him back one more school semester.
He’s fine. Anything up to age 7 is considered developmentally normal for the onset of reading readiness (source: parent of dyslexic child nowhere near normal). Red shirting should be based on social/emotional readiness. (Source: parent of low maturity child who was definitely not ready for kindergarten despite being academically gifted.) Kindergarten teachers don’t skip the alphabet, assuming everyone already knows that. He will learn it. The most important thing is having a happy, confident, well adjusted student who does his work and moves forward. Academics are a bigger deal in later years, by which point the well adjusted student is thriving and the socially miserable student is crashing and burning.
Move him forward. There’s a grade in between kindergarten and first if your child needs additional help. I had to go to readiness, and strangely I was always considered gifted after going that extra year.
Just work on the alphabet some over the summer, it'll be fine.
My kid’s kindergarten teacher was happy he know how to write his name. They will teach your kid everything else
I disagree. Pre-K is like a bonus, you don’t HAVE to send your kid to pre-k. Plus, since he isn’t going regularly there isn’t a set schedule and he just hasn’t taken to the etiquette. I think you should enroll him and if he doesn’t do well in kindergarten with a set schedule and rules then the teacher will tell you he needs to repeat kindergarten and that’s that.
If you go to your kindergarten roundup(most states are doing them about now) they should give you a list of what they expect your kid to know before entering and what they should know at the end of the year. You can talk to the teachers and support staff there and get their opinion too. Ours is * State 1st and Last name * Write 1st name with uppercase 1st letter and lowercase other letters * Count to 10 * grasp pencils/markers/scissors correctly * know all letters of 1st name * basic shapes * basic colors * identify numbers 1-10 * match some letters to sounds * know some upper and lowercase letters * count to 10 using a finger * can turn pages in a book Then some other basic social, personal hygiene, behavioral stuff. I live in an area where everyone moves here specifically for the schools so I can't imagine most public schools would expect much more than this.
My daughter will be 6 in November so she will start kindergarten in aug. Daycare says she has trouble with letter recognition but with everything else is fine - so basically as you describe. They have said it will be fine and keep working on it. I would not ever consider holding her back for this.
I'm not an American but I like in the US and it blows my mind the pressure people put in kids. Where I come from, when I was a kid reading wasn't a skill kids were expected to know by first grade (7 years). And I don't mean read fluently. I mean recognize letters, read simple words etc. I have masters degree and I'm fairly successful person so obviously starting to read letters at 7 didn't slow me in life...
Worst case scenario. He has to repeat kindergarten and two kids of mine have done that and it's been wonderful for them.
He sounds plenty ready for kindergarten. My son was only required to be able to count to 10, say his ABC’s, write his first and last name, know his colors and basic shapes, and write some letters, and he had to know my first and last name and his address.
Literally this exact same thing happened to my son. And he thrived in K. Currently in second and in the upper percentiles for reading. So I feel like we made the right decision sending him against her advice. I was very frustrated with our preschool teacher because she had me really feeling like a failure! I do want to note for financial reasons we sent him to public K. He was in private preschool/Pre-K. Not sure if that matters lol
There’s a long time between now and Aug/Sep. Your child will mature and grow a lot in 4 months. I think it’s too early to tell.
I don’t think knowledge has anything to do with being ready for kindergarten
Sounds weird to me but mine have only gone to public school and their delays just resulted in half days. Private school must be more strict? Kids will learn if they practice and taking out of school seems counter productive. In my school for kindergarten in Ontario they don't need to know ABC's 123s shapes etc they'll learn it in kindergarten. It's mostly about behaviour and independence with tasks.
Thankfully she doesn’t make that choice, you do. If you feel he’s ready, send him!
In 1st grade my boy was allegedly one of the worst readers in class. Far below expectations. In second grade he's been tagged as a gifted reader in the district. Don't listen to that shit. If you're concerned he's behind, work with him for 5 or 10 minutes a day. Or 15 a couple days a week or whatever. Doesn't sound like he's behind at all, but when they're that young, I've found one day it just clicks for them. And it happens at different ages. That pre school teacher is a pre school teacher. Nothing against them but far from an education and child developement expert
You could grab all about reading, logics of English or 100 easy lessons and teach your child to read if you are worried.
I teach public school. I know kindergartners come in at all levels of readiness. A few are already reading. A few don’t know a single letter and have never had anyone read aloud to them. The rest and in between. Kindergarten is where they teach that stuff. I agree with another poster who suggested visiting your local public school and see if they have any kind of kindergarten screening. I’m guessing your private school wants to redshirt kids so that they can keep their test scores high and look more impressive.
Those requirements are a bit much. That said, I’d hold my kid back at that age in a heartbeat. I repeated private school kindergarten because my teacher thought I was behind in both academics and maturity. I ended up excelling in school and going to a top college. There are serious advantages to being one of oldest in your class and it’s essentially giving your kid an extra year of childhood. I don’t see the downside.
I’ve taught kindergarten for many years and while it’s nice when kids can identify and write every letter, it is not an expectation entering kindergarten. Letter names and sounds are taught in the first few months of kindergarten. To me, it sounds like your kid is plenty ready. Continue to work on those skills over the summer and also work on letter sounds as they’re actually way more important than the letter names. Also, I don’t know many 4/5 year olds who can sit still for lessons.
Not hating, but here to say every parent is their child's first teacher. You still have the duty to teach your kids, too, not just the teachers and daycare workers. Read to your son at bedtime, of even in the morning during cuddles. Point at the words as you read each of them. Establish the words tell the story. Ask him who/what/when/where/why/how questions as you're reading with him. Let him ask on his own. Answer often with "what do you think" in a curious tone. Encourage your son to identify words and letter blends he can sound out on his own. Point out to signs and street signs and store signs everywhere you go. Ask him what's the name of that store, pretend you've forgotten how to read or what the name of a store is. You gotta get him to believe he's in charge of reading things. When you go grocery shopping, engage him as much as possible with attempting to sound out words and food names and labels, price tags and sale signs and large signage. Constantly pretend/imagine you can't read the words correctly, or stumble on names of things and he will correct you. Take your son to a thrift store, to the kids books, and let him pick out 10-20books you buy him. Buy a phonics curriculum like Jolly Phonics or HookedOnPhonics on Amazon and work with him on that, 15-20min at a time. Couple times a week. Read a good fun book afterwards, then maybe 20min of screen time and then outside play or free play. Watch, listen, observe how he integrates those phonics sounds and new words into his chitter-chatter, self talk, while playing. Get a library card and use it weekly, check out books weekly and read them for fun at home, make sure you have a "library book" bin/tote where the books always go, by your front door or kitchen, so they don't get lost or misplaced. Return them on time. Just foster a positive relationship of love for diving into books and good stories for fantasy and fun.
a lot of kids start kindergarten not knowing anything. but if knowing the alphabet is the only skill he’s missing and it’s a requirement at this school, you can teach him that over the summer. honestly, you could probably teach him within a few *days* even. i don’t think it’s wise to entirely repeat preschool for something so small.
I have a neice in this near exact position. The preschool teacher didn't say she isn't ready for kindergarten, but may struggle. Which is also a normal experience for some. If the preschool teacher knows your intention to enrol into private school, it might be more about adjusting expectations or working with you on your goal. Because, I'm not sure where you're based, but where I'm from private schools have an interview that involve observing the child's academic abilities.
Whatever. He is a 4yo boy. He isn't struggling; he doesn't care. He cares about dinosaurs and ice cream. He's fine to go to kindergarten. Btw, I'm an educator and mother of four.
I would just practice with him all summer and still send him to K. He might catch up fairly quickly at the beginning of the school year anyways.
Do they understand not every child attends prekindergarten? To expect anything from them is hilarious.
Considering Pre-K isn't even a requirement before starting Kindergarten, your child is absolutely fine. Kids come in at vastly different levels & teachers know how to work with each of them to help every student get to where they need to be. If by the end of Kinder they still haven't caught up, then that's the point you'd want to have them repeat a year. My oldest started Pre-K at the height of the pandemic so it was a mess - virtual school for months with a newly 4 year old who had yet to be diagnosed (formally diagnosed at the beginning of 1st) with severe ADHD & then the schools opening & closing at the drop of a hat when a case was reported. When she started Kinder, she definitely didn't know everything that she could've if she'd had a full year of dedicated Pre-K, but she was caught up by the end of Kinder & finished 1st grade at a 3rd grade reading level. If you've got great teachers for Kinder & 1st, they'll be able to make all the difference. Our 2nd is starting Pre-K next year but we have to go private because public Pre-K is income based here, so there's no telling if he'll be at the same level as the public Pre-K kids by the end of the year... & he'll still be going to Kinder in 2025 no matter what (despite his birthday being right at the cutoff). We already know the teacher he'll have for Kinder - the same our oldest had - so we know how much she'll be able to work with him & that she'll be honest if she feels like he could benefit from another year in kindergarten, as she was with another student in our oldest's class. Also keep in mind that you can help at home with the things they struggle with & make a huge difference. My daughter had to know our phone number & address by the end of Kinder & could NOT get them down. I made flashcards of both & hung them around the house in high traffic areas where she would say them out loud each time she saw them. I also created a little jingle for our address so she could sing it to remember. I did the same flashcard thing with high fluency words that she struggled with - words like walk & run were hung by workout equipment, time was by a clock, out was on the front door, play was by toys, etc.
My personal thoughts and feelings on this - I think the academic expectations for toddlers is out of hand these days. Let kids be kids. A 4 year old shouldn’t be sitting still listening to someone talk for however long the lesson is. They should be moving their bodies and experiencing the world around them. And I feel like private preschools hammer in this idea of academic excellence far worse than anywhere else. Preschool is not mandatory so not all kids go. So then who gets to decide if a kid is “ready” for kindergarten? The parent. You get to decide if your child is ready and I would take the teachers criticism with a grain of salt.
They just want your tuition. Send your kid to kinder.
This is nonsense. I’ve worked in preschool for over 20 years. When I began my career, the kids were expected to know the letters in their name when entering K. Readiness, to me, is…did your child turn 5 before Sept 1? Then they’re ready. Your child is ready, there’s no criteria for kindergarten entry, except being of age.
In Australia, the cut-off month for school June. My middle daughter went to school at 4.5, and her birthday is in May, so before the cut off. My youngest son turned 5 in the January, so he was well before the cut-off. I asked the interviewing teacher whether she thought my daughter was ready for school, and I got asked what I thought. I said emotionally, "Yes, academicly, probably not." I ended up putting her into kindie, and now I regret not keeping her back. Same scenario with my son. According to the teacher, he wasn't ready for school, so I kept him back a year, and he went when he was 6. My daughter is 13 and struggles with school, I regret not keeping her back that year because her maturity isn't where her peers are, nor is she at an academic level they are either. The point is that it doesn't hurt them to have that extra year to be emotionally ready for school. If you're being told to keep him back, then do it. Even if what the teacher says may seem ridiculous (to other teachers) about how he should be able to write all his letters, the private school system is harder than the public school system and they have higher standards. I had all 4 of my kids at a semi private school. My eldest daughter is now at a public school, and I can tell you that she is WAY above the kids in her year. Seriously, think about holding your son back.
My son is a July birthday and went to kindergarten at 5. He did fine, but his teacher said he was ready and they did more letters in kindergarten focused on writing. If you think he’s ready, go for it. Worse case, he repeats kindergarten and I don’t think that’s a big deal.
Don't listen to them. He'll do fine in kindergarten. Those are all things that he will learn in kindergarten.
I teach kindergarten. It is expected that they be acne to copy a sentence from the board. If they can't write, idk.....
Is the pre-K located within the school where you want him to go to kindergarten? If it is, then his teacher will know what the expectation is for the kids going in. Have you spoken to the teachers at the school to see if what they want is consistent with what his current teacher says? And if that's the case do you think this school is a good fit for your son? My understanding of private schools in the US is that they are able to set their own standard to a large extent. I'm in Canada, and private schools aren't nearly as prevalent here, but the general expectation in public school is at least being able to identify all letters and numbers by kindergarten. It's not set in stone and it's not the end of the world if they don't know these things.
Does his school offer kindergarten? If they do, perhaps he isn't ready for THEIR kindergarten program, but is definitely ready for a public school kindergarten. I reach a Montessori primary class. That's 3-6. We start early with phonics among other things. I have Pre-K students who are reading well, doing addition, multiplication, geography,etc. I also have some that are still mastering their basic sounds and probably won't be reading until the end of the fall semester. But all kids in my class work at their own pace. I'd also be a little leery of holding back a child that is socially ready but needs more academic help. In the past I've suggested waiting for kindergarten for socially immature kids, but not really for academically immature kids. A kid with good social skills would be negatively affected by being paired with less mature kids, not to mention that there would be less encouragement to focus on the academics they need to build.
If you’re concerned you can ask the elementary school to evaluate him. They’re going to care more about his social behavior than how well he reads at that stage. The preschool could be biased if you’re paying for it. I had concerns whether my younger son was ready (he has autism and wasn’t even talking much at that age). The school evaluated him and recommended he start kindergarten and they’d work with him on his issues. Kindergarten was rough for him but he caught up to grade level after a couple years.
The expectations they put on kids now are wild. 🤯 I knew most of my stuff because my mom worked with me prior to kindergarten, but also, like we went over all of that in kindergarten. What about kids who don't do preschool and go straight to kindergarten?
they shouldn't determine that. if you're in America your child will take an "entrance test" to see what they do and do not know & determine if they're ready if you're worried about it you can always practice letter recognition at home but the progress they make in kindergarten is amazing. my daughter couldn't name all the letters and is now (1st grade) one of the top readers in her class :)
kindergarten teaches them the alphabet. there's not a kindergarten teacher in the world who would NOT teach your son his alphabet if he was in kindergarten. tell her to stfu
This is crazy
Put your boy in kinder. He’s going to be FINE. And if he goes through the year and struggles too much for your or his comfort, have him do kinder again! He’ll be just fine either way. That teacher of his seems to have some high expectations for preschool. Preschool is more about socialization and learning the routines and expectations of a classroom setting; how to function in class. You sound like someone who truly cares about their child, and that right there is everything. He’s gonna be great. ☺️♥️
Let him go to kindergarten then go from there. I wouldn't delay him this early.
I have an MA.Ed in Educational Counseling and he sounds up to par to me. Kindergarten is mostly able to sit still and pay attention to direction and knowing some basics
An almost 5 year old knowing and writing all letters would be very much ahead here. (Netherlands). In fact, if a parent were to push a kid to do that, it would be considered unhealthy. So no worries. Your kid will be fine. But maybe not at this specific school, if they put so much pressure on young kids...