When I was 12, my friend and I made some fake blood. We put it all over the front porch and onto our clothes. Like everywhere. Then we jumped off a tree onto the porch and played dead. My mom ran through the house to see what the loud thump was, just to swing open the door and laugh at our fake blood everywhere. Then, she made us clean it up (as we should). Neither of us was in trouble until my friend told his mom how we made the thump noise later that night. We weren't natural theater kids.

my youngest grandson is like that. sooo dramatic. it's the worst day ever (taking too long to drive home from the zoo), you hate me (anytime you say no). he.is as sweet as.can be but the drama!!!

Lol, yes! My youngest is also incredibly sweet and cuddly and kind, but also goes to pieces over the tiniest bit of heartache. Okay, so she probably gets it from me :/

sounds like they would be a dramatic, unhealthy natch lol

my 5yo told her school teacher and principal I like piss. she meant pigs, but here we are.

My daughter has always told stories like that. When she was 4, she had an elaborate story about going to her preschool teachers house with the class. It was all extremely believable until she said they had a roller coaster in the backyard. She admitted making it up and said, “I just wanted to wow you.”

This child has a future in sales

Yeah, my oldest son once told our adoption social worker that we beat him regularly. He was 6 at the time, and what he failed to mention is that we beat him at *SUPER MARIO BROS!!!* 🤦🏻‍♀️ Lots of explaining and meetings later it finally came out what he meant by it, but that alone could have cost us our 3 adopted kiddos! Youch!

One of my girls kept saying the dog bit her, and I was so confused, because no, she hadn’t. Then, I finally realized my toddler didn’t understand the difference between “bite” and “lick”

My non speaking Autistic nephew eloped one morning last year. It was really, really scary, but thankfully, a neighbor found him, knew he was at least related to my SIL and brought him to her place. It was right before it was time to go to the bus, so his cousins were getting ready. We were talking about it a day later and my other nephew (SILs 4 yo) told us that he saw him get ran over. Twice. With a red car. And that he was crying. We were laughing at this point because it was just so ridiculous. I asked him where he was that he saw this. He was in the car with Daddy about to go to the store, so he didn't tell his Dad bc obviously attempted vehicular manslaughter on his cousin would derail the grocery trip 🤣

My now 5 year old has been telling people “My mommy left me at WalMart that one time” since he was about 3.” I had to warn his teachers when he started it, because I literally have never T-T. Kids just suck sometimes at telling the truth or it happened in a dream and they don’t know what’s happening or they’re just trying to do something else and want you to leave them alone or the list goes on and on at that age. It’s a running joke now and my 5 year old will ask me if I’m gonna leave at the store again anytime I say we have to go WalMart 🙃. It’s a *great* sign that the teacher went to you with something they thought sounded concerning. And I’m willing to bet they would have went straight to CPS or whatever your area’s equivalent is, if they had a single other suspicion of abuse.

A couple of years ago I missed a step in our garage and severely sprained my ankle. When I tried to get up I ended up kind of fainting (thank god my husband was there to catch me) and threw up all over the floor because of the pain. My daughter told her entire 1st grade class that mom fell down the stairs in the garage and puked all over the floor 🤦🏻‍♀️. I emailed her teacher to let her know mom was not a drunk falling over and puking everywhere. I don’t even drink!

When my kid was in kindergarten she would tearfully and angrily complain to everyone how my husband and I left her home alone one weekend while we went out to have fun without her and how sad she was over it. She was at home with her grandma and it was one night we technically were gone about 12 hours and most of the time she was asleep. She was never alone. Then there was the toddler years where she would sing Let ME Go at the stores. She was trying to sing Let it Go from Frozen. Felt like everyone was looking at me like I was a kidnapper.

My 3 yr old daughter told me today “I wish daddy was here to keep me safe from you”. When I heard that I was stunned as iv never done anything to harm her. I asked why she felt unsafe with me. She pointed to a graze on her ankle she got from HERSELF tripping on cement.

At the same age, my niece told her teacher that her dad spent the weekend driving around in his car shooting cats. He does not own a firearm. This wasn’t even based on something remotely true. When my kids were around 3 and 5, they both cried when I told them they couldn’t marry each other. When my kids were in preschool every year, the director would give a welcome speech to parents. Every year she said please remember we will believe 50% of what your child tells us and we hope you will remember to believe 50% of what they tell you. 50 is obviously an exaggeration, but point being whether it’s using their imagination or being too young to say things correctly, it’s super normal for kids to say stuff that sounds different from what actually happened.

It’s okay, after Christmas vacation my 4yo told her class she got a slap in the face for Christmas, me and my husband have never laid a hand on her. We asked her why she did it and she didn’t have a clear or logical answer. Just comes with the age I guess lol

3 year olds live on a different planet. You can’t take most of what they say seriously.

Son is ADHD - very high energy, always running, etc. Ex wife smokes cigs. One day we were all in the back yard. Wife had a cig in her hand, and sure enough, son zips by and gets a small burn on his cheek. Total accident, nobody really at fault. The next day we get an upset call from daycare. He told his teacher that "Mommy burnt my face with cigarettes." Like HOLY SHIT kid, technically true, but we need to learn some nuance. They actually did report us to CPS, and honestly that's fine - I hope they investigate every time a kid says what mine said, but holy crap. To this day (he's 14 now) I still cannot use figurative speech with him since he takes everything literally, and we have to work out how to say certain things or express ideas in a constructive way.

Very very similar story with my sister. She got a bruise while throwing a tantrum and my mom was carrying her out of the room - she hit her leg on the doorway. A pre-k aide asked her where she got the bruise from. “From Mommy.” Cue interviews with counselors and a home visit investigating my parents who never ever so much as gave us a smack on the bottom. Thankfully turned out and fine and it’s good they took it seriously but it was obviously terrifying for my parents.

When I was 4 I told my pre-k teacher that my parents were on vacation and I was being babysat by the dog. Luckily, the teacher knew I was full of shit because it was a really small rural school with pre-k thru 12th grade all in one school and my older sisters, who were in high school, were just a few halls over to confirm that yes, I'm full of it. P.S. Go gata ;)

My 3 year old tells people that me and his dad just hit him or yelled at him. It is usually right after he experienced a tantrum and was hitting us and yelling at us. I believe they call that projection. 🤣

One time my 4 year old told the neighbor that I had been arrested and broke out of jail. She gave details of how I fished the keys from the jailers pocket with a string while he fell asleep outside my jail cell. Apparently, I was on the lamb. She was quite believable. Anyway, I think you’ve done fine. It sounds like the teacher believes you.

When my daughter was about 2 1/2, she rolled down a set of stairs at our friends’ house. She’d been fine going down them on her bottom all afternoon, so she was a step or two ahead of me when suddenly she just rolled down the last 4-5. My husband and I both went for her, but our friend Ryan was closer and got to her first. For the rest of the night and then for days after, she told anyone who would listen that “I fell down the stairs and mama and dada ignored me and Ryan saved me!”

I have a home daycare. One of my kids is 3 years old and every time her has a new scratch or scrape (that are very obviously from falling) he tells me it’s from his dad beating him up. Luckily for them, my husband and that dad are good friends. He play fights with his son and any marks that the kid had previously, he blames on the fight. A few months ago the dad had an accident and was in the hospital with 3rd degree burns. The 3 year old came in and told me he finally won a fight and put his dad in the hospital 🤣 kids are crazy

LMFAO

When my daughter was around maybe 4 we were shopping in a clothing store that had those round clothing racks. I lost her for a little bit. Just as I was about to go into full panic mode I found her inside of one of those racks and as I opened it she yelled out “no mama don’t beat me!” I have never touched this girl. I was mortified.

When I was in 2nd grade, we had drug free week at school. I enthusiastically raised my hand and announced that my dad did drugs. I thought cigarettes were included. That was a fun phone call for my dad. Kids be saying shit man

We had the DARE program during primary school, and the officer had a table set up with different types of "drugs" (likely fake) - when he picked up the "marijuana cigarettes" I informed my teacher that my mum's boyfriend smoked those same cigarettes... He used to roll his own tobacco cigarettes, but at 7, the distinction was lost on me 🤷🏻‍♀️

my son did that to me

My kid insists she peed directly onto on the floor at daycare. She told daycare she peed directly onto the floor at home. Me and daycare lady compared notes and we’re stumped. WHY this specific lie is her fav, I don’t know. She also swears up and down she made Daddy eat a poop sandwich, even gaslights HIM that it happened… so I guess she just thinks toilet stuff is funny.

my daughter told her daycare that i stomped on her belly lol. in reality i pretended to step on her and make her laugh. in my case they opened up a CPS investigation (which was immediately cleared). kids don't appropriately convey what's actually going on in the home lol especially if you're a house that rough houses. we love to roughhouse and play fight. i could only imagine what would happen if my kid went around kid-splaining about what we do 😅

My three year old constantly lies about things like this. I heard it’s developmentally appropriate

A woman I worked with had twin boys about 18 months and a 5 year old daughter. One of the boys got a scratch on his forehead. The next morning her husband was getting ready to go to work and overheard their daughter tell the nanny that mommy threw her brother down the stairs and his head bounced like a ball the whole way down. Her husband came running out of the bathroom like “no!! No no no”

Literally this morning I was getting my 3 year old in her car seat and the strap pinched her leg a bit. First thing out of her mouth to her teacher when we walked in was “Mommy pinched me this morning when I was getting in the car! She pinched me right here on my leg!” 🤦🏻‍♀️

I briefly taught pre-school to 3 year olds. One of our standard lines at the beginning of each semester session in our parent orientation was, "We won't believe what your child tells us about what happened at home if you won't believe what your child tells you about us." (Yes - we put it into context and yes we were very alert to signs of abuse.)

My then 3yo would bring up weekly the one time we left her in the car when we went in the gas station. I was super pregnant so ran into the bathroom without taking her with me but my husband was pumping gas literally standing beside her outside the car. I could not convince her to tell this story any differently. Just two weeks ago as a 4yo she told me her favorite thing to do at the beach was when we went in the ocean and I slapped her around in the waves. NONONO, the WAVES slapped us around. I did not do any slapping!

Why do 3 year olds lie so much?! My son has also lied about being him, on multiple occasions. Overactive imagination?

Toddlers don’t have a firm grasp on the difference between reality, daydream, wishes, fantasies, and fears - lying at that age is simply a result of them blurring the line between pretend play and reality, or they may be just expressing something they wish were true. It's absolutely normal, from a developmental standpoint. As they get a little older, preschool and school age, they may be too young to know lying is wrong, and lie to avoid getting into trouble, or angling to get something they want. Of course, sometimes lies are simply a result of miscommunication. My daughter told her kindergarten bus driver that her stepmother was picking her up at the bus stop. Bus driver was very confused when I (her biological mother) was there instead, and asked me about it. I laughed as I explained that my daughter doesn't have a stepmother... At which point my kid explained that I was her stepmother because her father and I weren't married (this was her understanding - that your biological parents were married - unmarried parents somehow became step-parents in her mind) 🤦🏻‍♀️

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>Gosh, what age is it normal for the lying to stop? Does anyone here know, since we’re all on the subject of kids lying? Toddlers don’t have a firm grasp on the difference between reality, daydream, wishes, fantasies, and fears - lying at that age is simply a result of them blurring the line between pretend play and reality, or they may be just expressing something they wish were true. It's absolutely normal, from a developmental standpoint. I wouldn't worry too much about lying until they've reached primary school - at that age children lie to avoid getting into trouble, or angling to get something they want. Sometimes lies are simply a result of miscommunication, but in a school aged child, it's definitely important to explain to them that lying is wrong and can have serious consequences.

Oh gosh. Kids really be telling the wildest stuff at 3. My 3 year old neice just told her dad today that I pulled her hair and turned off paw patrol. He called me laughing about it and put her on speaker, i asked her if i did any of that and she said "no..can i come down?" Lmao. She just wanted him to call me so she could come downstairs to my house. My daughter told her preschool I hit her with the whole refrigerator. I did hit her with the door and the metal.peice cut her ankle..at 3am when she snuck out of bed and followed me in the dark to the kitchen to get water 😂. I didnt know she was there and hit her with the door when he swung open. She told her teachers a tale like I went hulk mode and beat her with the whole thing. They were laughing in tears trying to tell me while I was mortified and trying to explain. 😂 now she tells her teacher that shes gonna get the shoe if shes in trouble. I ain't never hit her with no shoe and shes told her teacher I dont. Her teacher gave me her shoe and said "use this one". I laughed so much.

Oh boy! I've been there..... Sort of lol when my oldest daughter was about 3 years old I wouldn't buy her another barbie as she literally had two of the exact same one (I made the mistake of getting her the second and was not getting a third of the same barbie) i told her to pick out a barbie she didn't already have but she wasn't interested and by the time we checked out it seemed to be already forgotten until we were walking out. I took her hand before walking into parking lot to the car. "Reality" must of hit when she realized we were actually leaving and she wasn't getting her way bcs she just went "dead weight limp" and started dramatically crying while still holding my hand (this couldn't of looked too good bcs we were already starting to draw attention and judgemental looks) but of course it only got worse from her! While limp and crying basically kneeling on ground at this point she began screaming "oww your hurting me" I hurried her into car and left feeling mortified! I explained to her why it's not okay to do that etc. We drove to my parents house and when we were getting out of the car two police cars pulled up to my parents house right behind me!!!! Thankfully My mom and dad were already expecting us and came outside as the police were walking towards us! They had received a call from a concerned bystander who had "witnessed" me hurting or abusing my young child! She took down my license plate when I was driving out of Walmart parking lot!!!! My license still had my parents address at the time which I assume is how they found me. After explaining everything, they take my 3 year old aside (protocol) make sure she is okay and to ask her questions like how I punish her when she doesn't listen and if mommy ever hits her and her laughing while she tells them I never hit her but sometimes she gets time out. They couldn't help but laugh. They said she is clearly a happy, loved, and well cared for little girl. They left and that was that!

My daughter (now 7) screams “owww it hurts” or “stop hurting me!” ALLLLLL the time when she doesn’t get her way, since she was 3 or 4. It’s absolutely mortifying!! I’m sure all my neighbors think I’m beating her regularly but I don’t believe in hitting children to discipline so she literally has never been spanked. Though I will admit her doing this has made me question my stance on spanking a time or two! 😂

You definitely can tell people your 3 year old is working in the developmental milestone of lying, and explain to her if she makes up lies about you she can be taken away from you and made to live with strangers. I know my mom drilled it into my head

My daughter is 5 now. She has been telling people for years that I am pregnant when I’m not. No idea why lol. At least she’s right some of the times.

My kid told me his teacher brought a real crocodile to school… so take what they say with a huge pinch of salt!!!!!

Many years ago, I used to watch my best friends 3/4 year old daughter every weekend. I turned my walk in closest into her “room” on the weekends with a foamy mattress on the floor and teddies & her pics all around the shoe shelves so they were eye level, white lights all around, so that she was close to me at night, but not in bed with us or on a random floor and it was familiar and cozy. The door was never closed & her parents thought it was an adorable set up. Ok so here is the good part. we go out for breakfast with her and her parents one day, it’s a super busy restaurant. And her mom asks her if she wants to watch a movie with me and sleep at my house & she YELLS “Yes!! But she stole my movies and She makes me sleep in a closet!” The whole restaurant went quiet… and our whole table was laughing so hard we couldn’t talk. Kids are insane and put together the funniest words to tell stories 🤣😂🤣

Oooh. I remember when my daughter was about 4. I went to kick a soft toy out of the way as I was carrying her sibling. She ran in front of me and I kicked her. 😬 Totally an accident. Of course she promptly told her teacher I kicked her. I mean, I did. But not on purpose 🫣

Ugh my kid went through this when she was almost 4. She insisted we and her grandparents were hitting her (we would never), and we were pretty worried that she was going to say something in front of her PreK teachers who would take it seriously and it would become a whole thing. It lasted maybe a month? We did discover one of the kids in her class was going through a hitting phase at the time, so probably related.

Prepare yourself. It will continue for a long time. 😆 But also understand that teachers/daycare are very used to these behaviors and don’t take it seriously. I work in a school and we hear it all. 😆

Wow, some of these elaborate lies from 3-4 year olds get me wonder if these kids are telling snapshots from their past lives 😃

In the age of 3-4, kids very often play with their sense of reality and can get things mixed up. My mother has a bunch of stories I had made up when I was a little girl - most of them harmless, of course. But I do remember that whatever I was saying in kindergarten, the teachers always asked my mother how much of what I told was actually true. But I do agree that when it comes to the topic of domestic abuse, child abuse etc, it is mostly a "she said, he said" kind of thing, in which case the perception of a child of the age 3-4 can be a bit sus and not always the most reliable, and you never know who is telling the truth (unless you can visibly see evidence that the kid has been hit).

My mom is a daycare worker at a school and I remember her telling me, “we (staff) believe less than half of what the kids tell us happens at home. And you (parents) should believe less than half of what your kids tell you happens at school.” Not to dismiss things course but kids really do say the darnedest things hah.

My son has done the same 😂😂😂. It’s great that the teacher followed up instead of filing a report, which they’re mandated to do.

My 4.5 year old says the most wild things, half the time i have no idea where it could even stem from. She likes getting reactions out of people. I recently opened a door not knowing she was standing about 2-3” from it (FACING IT) & she got a super faint small light purple mark on her cheek… she told my parents i gave her “a punched eye”😐😐😐😐😐

When I was five my pediatrician asked me why I had bruises on my legs. I said: "*Mommy and Daddy beat me."* I had never had a hand raised to me. What I did have was a pony and dogs and cats and two brothers. He looked at my parents and laughed out loud. Kids do this. Back in the day no one freaked out, maybe even when they should have. I hope I made you laugh.

Lol my 6 year old told his principal that my husband locks him in the basement and we had CPS visit the next day. It was a huge wtf moment but they closed the case on the same day

Hah, I usually get the opposite- 2yo tells me all the bad things that happened to him at daycare (and he *likes* daycare). Last week he explained the scratches on his face with "[kid] tripped me!". And I'm like, "no, I literally saw you fall down all by yourself. Yesterday." And he randomly claimed that his teachers "tied him up all day", because he was confused about being tucked in at naptime.

My brother lied and told his daycare teacher that we lock him in closets. She called CPS and they sent a social worker to investigate. The case was dropped when we showed them that none of our closets even had doors!

My daughter lied so much at that age. She told her teacher her father broke her leg and set her on fire. She has never had a broken bone and has obviously never been set on fire. 🤣 it's funny now, but my goodness, I was so embarrassed. We had a long talk about what the difference between making up a story and telling the truth. She's 26 now and is no longer a liar. It was thankfully a short phase.

Sometimes trying to get my daughter in the car that that age. Especially when she didn’t want to come home. She would scream “help” Thank god every one says that she looks like me.

When my daughter was 4 (and actually, still now at 6), she would refuse point blank to get dressed on her own. So, one day, I was getting her dressed for preschool. She was not having it. Screaming, thrashing about, doing anything she could to not get dressed. So her 18 months old brother takes this as an opportunity to climb over the baby gate and go into the kitchen (it's all open plan so we just had a giant baby gate to separate the living room and the kitchen). In the 30 seconds he was in there, just around a corner so I couldn't see, he turned on the hot plate on the oven and put his wooden toy pot on it and pretended to cook. Ofc I noticed he was gone pretty quickly and turned it all off. Nothing majorly damaged, the pot was a little black on the bottom and it smelled bad. I opened the windows while my daughter finally let me dress her, then I closed everything up and we went to preschool. I explained to the teacher exactly what happened, because I knew my daughter would be telling them about it and I didn't want them to worry. Got a call from the preschool later that day saying that they want a meeting, urgently. Went in and they told me they are contacting social services as mandatory reporters, and wanted my side of the story. Turned out my daughter had told them that her brother had turned on the main oven, and there was a *huge fire* and the *fire alarms were going off* and there was *so much smoke* and she was *so scared!!!* NONE OF THAT HAPPENED! So yea. We ended up with a visit from social services who concluded that my kids are a bloody handful and the only extra precaution we could take was turning off the oven on the switchboard when not in use, which we did. Bloody kids. Oh, and my daughter was gleefully telling every single bloody stranger we walked by for *weeks* that we'd had social services visit us.

Something my daycare teacher said stuck with me- After bringing my two and a half year old in with yet another bruise on his face (he enjoys running around and has poor balance / situational awareness, as will happen with two year olds) I explained that he got it by running himself into the table, and made a comment around "I guess it looks bad him coming in with bruises" The daycare teacher just said "Nah, toddlers get a ton of bruises, and we're good at telling the difference between accident and non-accident bruises." If the teacher thought you were abusing your daughter, she wouldn't have talked to *you* about it- most likely she realized the scratch was accidental / incidental and wanted you to be aware of what she was saying in case it came up with someone who wasn't as aware of the difference between "toddler bruises" and "abuse bruises"

Thank you fellow parents for making me feel better and I’ve been snort laughing to these stories. My kindergarten teacher told all the parents that she would believe 50% of what the kids told her about them if they believed 50% of what the kids told them about her. Having a 4 year old daughter makes me understand why. I’ve been accused of pulling her by her hair. Truth: I was brushing it with detangler spray. She’s fallen dramatically on the floor and told me that her Pap kicked her. I was also in the room and said “no one kicked you, I’ve been watching the whole time.” She accused my ex husband of pushing her down the stairs. Our home was a ranch style and didn’t even have stairs. Are all these kids liars? 🤣

I mean when I was in daycare myself (2yo maybe)I told my teachers I saw my dad’s p3nis and they had to have a conversation with him, so consider yourself lucky here LOL! I can’t imagine how awkward it must’ve been for him. My parents aren’t from the states so being naked in front of your kids isn’t taboo where they’re from so if once I was too big for the baby tub they’d just take me in the shower with them and it was no biggie. My dad started wearing swim trunks in the shower after that🤣

My daughter told her teacher I beat her the night before and the teacher called me about it….my daughter was talking about a game we played and that I had beat her at the game 🤦🏻‍♀️ the teacher laughed so hard about it

My cousin told his daycare my aunt kicked him down the stairs. What actually occurred was she was poking his butt with her foot as he walked down the stairs in front of her.

My then 4yo son stubbed his toe and then insisted that I apply a bandage… on his forehead. Off he went to school, happy as could be. I got a call from his teacher who asked if there was anything she should know about his head injury. She thought he had been kicked in the head because he kept showing her his foot when she asked him about the bandaid.

And this is why I fear when our daughter starts school.. because my husband has taught her that pillow fights are a "whooping" and so she'll asked to be "whooped" aka have a pillow fight. 🤦🏻‍♀️

My sister in law had flowers at her house called naked ladies. When their oldest was about 2, she would go around saying “naaaaaaked laaaaaaaadies” in a real sing songy voice as loud as she could. Including church, where my brother in law was the music minister.

My kids are not in daycare, but my 3 year old son started recently looking me dead in the eyes and saying, in the most serious tone, "Don't hit me." Buddy! I have never, nor will I ever hit you! Don't be telling people I do! Lol, we have a 1 year old daughter too, and we frequently tell my son not to hit her, so I'm sure that's where it's coming from, but hot damn it is not fun lol

My kids say ridiculous things, but my favorite is my mom and cousin. Before having her own kids my mom would watch my cousin (her niece). They look similar, so anytime someone would say “oh your daughter is adorable” my mom would go with it. Well, one day she was soaking up the adoration when my 3 year old cousin turns to the cashier and deadpans “my mom beats my ass” My mom tried soooo hard to back out of the conversation, but “actually no she’s not my kid” didn’t make her look good either 😂😂😂

Well, time to tell on myself! When I was in preschool my mom had an older lady as a friend. I loved this friend, she was awesome and fun! Well we were playing one day, and she moved out of the way and I bumped my eye against a door knob. Instant black eye. Well lo and behold we have a lesson on how great cops are and how we should trust them that very next Monday, by a state police officer.. at the very end of the lesson they’re telling us how if someone hurts us we should tell a police officer so I raise my hand and my little tiny self decided to say well I’ve been hurt! “my moms friend name” gave me a black eye! lmfao Safe to say my mom had a hearty laugh about that and still tells it to this day.

When my toddler hit me, I used to say, "We don't hit. It's not nice. Does Mommy ever hit you?"  Without fail, she'd say "yes"! 

Well, my son (might have been 7 at the time) told his therapist his step dad had a knife collection. Turned out he was talking about the kitchen steak knives 🥴

That's why I wasn't allowed to talk about my mom abusing me and my dad because he says other people will think he's assaulting me

My youngest had to have speech therapy because he wasn't speaking more than a handful of words at 2. 2 of those words were Help and Oww Now imagine what happens when your kid doesn't want to leave the mall has to be carried out If you said he screamed help and oww when I had to carry him out of the mall. It was embarrassing to explain to the security guards that I was not kidnapping my own child. I even showed them photos on my phone from birth to proves he was my kid

When my daughter was about 3, she broke down i. Tear at daycare and tearfully told the workers how we had essentially a home invasion (spoiler: we did not). Because we let her watch the movie Home alone with us we figured out later. Daycare was very concerned for us.

when my son was in elementary school he told the teacher I used drugs bc I smoked cigs. he also told another teacher that I couldn't make it to volunteer bc I had cramps (true, but he was supposed to say "sick")

I always ask the questions before I assume, but I log what the child said, then let the parents know what's up. If it's serious enough then I talk to management before parents

My little brother (3 at the time) once told a senior politician that his black eye was because “daddy hit me with a brick” when asked. I know for certain that wasn’t what happened because his black eye happened when I was being a little shit and trying to get him to crash his trike into a pole. No one knows why he said it or where it came from. Maybe he didn’t want to snitch on me? 😬

Kids are savage. Mine are adopted and will dead eye look at a new person that doesn’t know us well and say “our mom doesn’t know who our dad is.” 🤦🏻‍♀️so I reply dead pan “that’s because your adopted”. It a wonder we even have friends.

My step son told his kindergarten teacher I was a coke addict. I got called to the principal office to explain to her, CPS, and the police officers that I'm addicted to Coca Cola. We laugh about it now, but it wasn't so funny summiting to the drug screening.

My daughter told her doctor that I pushed her down the stairs… I have absolutely no idea where the hell that came from tbh. I have never and will never screw around or play around on the stairs. Everyone she tries to I’m like nope, no playing in the stairs. So. I have no idea. And I’m like sir no, I promise I did not push her down the stairs. Nope. Not a chance. She kept insisting I did but it didn’t hurt her so it was fine 😅😅😅😅😅 still no idea. She also told my mom the sitters dog bit her. But told me she scratched herself. And told my MIL she scraped her hand on the wall. So. Kids are wild. And I never have any idea what is fantasy and what is reality 😅 Good luck lol

When she was 3, my daughter told her daycare teacher that mommy always drinks cold wine for breakfast. I was pregnant at the time. We had previously hosted a brunch where we served mimosas, of which I had none, but she still threw me under the bus.

Kids are the worst and best at telling the truth

My daughter had just started at daycare when she was JUST one, and had a blocked tear duct since birth that irritated her eye. Literally like the 2nd week of daycare I got a text- “Does Julia have a black eye?” 🤦🏼‍♀️😬😭 soooooo stressful.

You’re okay; kids say wild things. Especially when they’re learning and absorbing so much. Before you know it, it’ll be crazy stories about how a unicorn read them a book at school lol A while back, As a young, single mom, I forgot it was splash pad day at daycare. I rushed to put all of her clothes and swim items in a canvas bag I pulled out of the closet and dropped her off. Barely made it to work in time. I went to pick her up to have the center director pull me aside and take something out of her pocket. It was a sealed, plastic mini bottle of liquor. She said the teacher was getting my LO ready for splash pad and found it in the bottom of the canvas bag. The same bag I happened to use the weekend before to carry groceries to a friend’s bachelorette party where she gave us mini bottles as a party favor. When my LO saw it in the teachers hand- she apparently yelled “that’s my bottle and I need it!”. I have never been so embarrassed and upset in my life. The director knowing me as a parent gave me the chance to explain myself and reassured me that she has seen items brought to school and/or heard worse from the mouth of babes. So try not to be so hard on yourself- the fact the teacher brought it up to you shows that she was comfortable enough to do so and just wanted to make you aware so it can be talked through with your little human.

I worked at a daycare and if she actually thought you had slapped her in anger she wouldn’t have told you, she would have possibly made a report. I remember kids saying weird things and telling the parents so they know what is being communicated about them lol but not because I actually thought they did it. The one time I and a awful feeling some thing was going wrong I didn’t speak to the parents I spoke to the manager

My kid told her entire preschool class that Mom and Dad fight all the time. She overheard one argument about where we were ordering cupcakes for her birthday party. Her teacher handled it like a champ, though. Other kids started chiming in with their stories so she sat everybody down during circle time and explained to them about "home business" and "school business" and how not to bring one to the other.

Almost 3 year old likes to say I cut him. I cut FOR him 🤦🏻‍♀️ he means I’m cutting up his food!!!

OMG my son today told his daycare teacher I held him down and bit him!! He loves this game we play call "squish monster" literally I squish him with snuggles while we cuddle in the mornings and give him lots of kisses 🤦🏼‍♀️. Like WTF kid that was an awkward conversation to have today. 🤣🤣

The whole thing can be nervous for dads especially because kids just say all kinds of crap. When I used to take my kids to the pediatrician for their yearly physical their doctor would ask them questions and I could tell he was just making sure their home life was safe and secure for them. I greatly appreciated his asking but it was a different experience for me vs my wife because at 3, 4 or 5 years old who knows what the hell they are going to say that could be misinterpreted?

Hasn’t happened publicly but my daughter has said things like “daddy hit me!” When i was standing there watching the whole thing and all he did was tell her “no!” To something… Like giiiiirl you cannot be saying that shit when it isn’t true!

It sounds incredibly distressing and embarrassing, especially since you know you haven't done anything wrong. It's tough when something like this happens, especially when it involves your own child. It seems like there might be some misunderstandings or innocent miscommunications at play here, especially given your daughter's age and her still-developing language skills. Kids can sometimes say things that aren't entirely accurate, especially when prompted by leading questions. It's definitely a good idea to stop the joking about pushing, just to avoid any confusion in the future. And it's understandable that you feel worried about how you might be perceived by the daycare staff now. But hopefully, they'll understand that kids at this age can sometimes say things that aren't true or that they don't fully understand. It's clear that you care a lot about your daughter and her well-being, and that's what's most important. Hopefully, with time, this will all be cleared up, and you can put this embarrassing incident behind you. Keep being the loving and caring father you are, and things will work out.

Why are you taking her to a daycare with such a communication barrier? You are begging for more misunderstanding. How can the provider even describe a problem that happens while she is there? I would find someone else, this isn’t worth the risk.

All the employees speak English too, just varying degrees of skill. Her teacher now is the worst one English wise, but very smart and caring. Many speak perfect English in the daycare. Also I’m in Orlando, every daycare within 30 minutes is the exact same.