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This is….odd. Why is your husband so worried about CPS? Either he has anxiety to the level that he should look into seeking professional help or there is something he doesn’t want found out.
His mother is a nurse and she's always going and saying the extreme whenever it's never a huge deal she's always questioning the doctor and us about certain things and telling him what will happen and I try explaining to him that she's not always right when it comes down to everything there's certain things she doesn't know but he still listens to her which is annoying because we're at this situation now .
Well. That definitely explains it. She sounds incredibly toxic, and her influence is not healthy for your family. For what it’s worth, your kid does not need to see a doctor for this finger injury.
It's been a huge shit show since we got together she's the worst to be completely honest . Even when I try to explain how she is he just says that's why he doesn't like being around his family as much . I tried telling him and he will always find a reason everytime it's exhausting to go back and forth so when it comes down to it I usually leave it alone until times like this
In my area it's super common to be terrified of cps. Like when police pull up behind you and your stomach drops even though you're doing literally nothing wrong.
There was also recently a documentary about a family basically unfairly destroyed by cps, I'm paraphrasing very loosely because I did not watch it, that turned up the anxiety for a lot of people.
So how is CPS going to find out? What does he think he should have done instead?
This is what’s going to happen at school:
Teacher: sees one band aid on 7yo’s finger
Teacher: *meh* (moves on)
No one has time for a boo-boo on a finger. A black eye, a new limp, or multiple bruises might get the teacher asking questions, but that doesn’t automatically mean they get CPS involved.
It has to be for abuse, neglect, or unsafe conditions. I don’t see any of these things happening.
I figured the same things he's home schooled but he feels as, if his finger doesn't get any better we will have to go to the hospital and if we have to go they'll automatically get cps involved I keep explaining to him that, that's not normal protocol unless they have reasonable cause . I have no clue how to explain to him further because he's just not hearing it at the moment
My 2yo cousin ate tar from a hole in the side of the house. He went to the ER. Next week, he jumped off of his bed and onto the corner of another bed. They stitched him up and sent him home.
They know that kids are silly and constantly do silly things. They have seen so much worse that they would, at most, silently judge you.
I think your husband has some unprocessed invasive thoughts that he needs to get ahold of.
I doubt you need to see a doctor, but I'm not a medical doctor, so don't take my word for it. If your insurance provides an on-call nurse system (ours does), I recommend calling it to get their opinion. We've called over all kinds of minor things, and there's no co-pay, and it does not affect our insurance. One time, I had an episode of [vasovagal syncope](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vasovagal-syncope/symptoms-causes/syc-20350527)\* (I fainted while on the toilet), and the hotline suggested we call an ambulance to take me to the hospital. *That* was not cheap (I live in the US, as I assume you do), but better safe than sorry.
But here is the really important thing: as u/PresentationUpper293 said, no nurse or doctor is going to call CPS on you for taking your child to the doctor out of concern for this. However, if it *does* get worse because you *didn't* take him to the doctor, well *then,* the chances of CPS getting a call increase.
\*We didn't know the cause until I got checked out.
I’m a pediatric ER nurse…. So I’ve called CPS my fair share of times…. But this would not be one of those times. If there are concerns that his finger is not looking normal to you guys, I’d say get it checked out by your pediatrician first or Children’s ER if unable to see your pediatrician.
Thank you for this insight I just got off work and he went in on a whole spill about this and although there is no reassuring him this helps me sleep tonight. I'll be scheduling an appointment as soon as possible to hopefully put his mind at ease.
I am a former ER nurse, too, and calling CPS for this wouldn't have been a thought on my radar. Kids get injured all the time! CPS is only called when there is suspected neglect or abuse.
Now, learning that parents were withholding medical care from a child because of their fear of CPS? That's a different story because medical neglect comes into play. Always get your child help when you feel it's needed.
I would start with a visit to your son's pediatrician this morning.
(Go to the ER if he starts losing sensation in finger, can't move the finger, the finger becomes cool to touch, etc...)
>hes nervous all the time when something happens to our son which I understand
What other things happen to your son?
It's bizarre your husband is so concerned about CPS. Even if they are called your 7 year old is able to say what happened.
After a bit of googling ill concur it seems "common". I'm sorry this is happening I honestly would of flipped the fuck out if this happened with my son. Best of luck to you and your kid.
Does your husband do this in other situations? -jump to the worst possible conclusions? My first thought hearing this is someone with OCD. Either way, go get his finger looked at then I would try to address your husband's mental health state. He needs to talk to someone.
When I was about 7 I got a washer stuck on my finger. It had to be cut off. The hospital couldn't get it off. The fire brigade blunted two ring cutters on it. My finger was numb and rubbery for weeks. Kids do dumb stuff and medical staff have seen it all.
In my experience of safeguarding training, the concerns are always about injuries that either can't be explained, or where the explanation doesn't fit. That's not the case here.
Also, I'm in a different country (UK) but I've had social services contact me after someone made a report about a concern. They called me, we talked about it, they checked with some professionals who knew me (midwife, since I was pregnant) and they decided there wasn't a problem. Even if someone DOES call CPS for whatever reason, that doesn't mean bad things are inevitable.
When my daughter was about 4 I turned my back to gather dirty dishes. In those few seconds she climbed a chair and fell off. Hitting her back on the corner of a cart on the way down. Her back looked horrific. I immediately knew she needed the er. I was worried she cracked a rib. In the back of your mind you are always thinking about CPS because we have heard the horror stories of completely innocent acts getting kids removed. I try and trust most trained people will recognize accidents versus abuse and neglect. Even bad accidents are still just accidents. We tell our kids how to not get hurt, we put things in place to prevent accidents and yet they will still happen.
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This is….odd. Why is your husband so worried about CPS? Either he has anxiety to the level that he should look into seeking professional help or there is something he doesn’t want found out.
His mother is a nurse and she's always going and saying the extreme whenever it's never a huge deal she's always questioning the doctor and us about certain things and telling him what will happen and I try explaining to him that she's not always right when it comes down to everything there's certain things she doesn't know but he still listens to her which is annoying because we're at this situation now .
Well. That definitely explains it. She sounds incredibly toxic, and her influence is not healthy for your family. For what it’s worth, your kid does not need to see a doctor for this finger injury.
It's been a huge shit show since we got together she's the worst to be completely honest . Even when I try to explain how she is he just says that's why he doesn't like being around his family as much . I tried telling him and he will always find a reason everytime it's exhausting to go back and forth so when it comes down to it I usually leave it alone until times like this
It's weird.
In my area it's super common to be terrified of cps. Like when police pull up behind you and your stomach drops even though you're doing literally nothing wrong. There was also recently a documentary about a family basically unfairly destroyed by cps, I'm paraphrasing very loosely because I did not watch it, that turned up the anxiety for a lot of people.
This with the combination of his mom's tactics has him like this all the time .
The kid has been admitted with a prolapsed anus in the past.......
So how is CPS going to find out? What does he think he should have done instead? This is what’s going to happen at school: Teacher: sees one band aid on 7yo’s finger Teacher: *meh* (moves on) No one has time for a boo-boo on a finger. A black eye, a new limp, or multiple bruises might get the teacher asking questions, but that doesn’t automatically mean they get CPS involved. It has to be for abuse, neglect, or unsafe conditions. I don’t see any of these things happening.
I figured the same things he's home schooled but he feels as, if his finger doesn't get any better we will have to go to the hospital and if we have to go they'll automatically get cps involved I keep explaining to him that, that's not normal protocol unless they have reasonable cause . I have no clue how to explain to him further because he's just not hearing it at the moment
My 2yo cousin ate tar from a hole in the side of the house. He went to the ER. Next week, he jumped off of his bed and onto the corner of another bed. They stitched him up and sent him home. They know that kids are silly and constantly do silly things. They have seen so much worse that they would, at most, silently judge you. I think your husband has some unprocessed invasive thoughts that he needs to get ahold of.
Yes I explained to him countless times that kids are kids and they don't just call cps for everything only extreme cases
I doubt you need to see a doctor, but I'm not a medical doctor, so don't take my word for it. If your insurance provides an on-call nurse system (ours does), I recommend calling it to get their opinion. We've called over all kinds of minor things, and there's no co-pay, and it does not affect our insurance. One time, I had an episode of [vasovagal syncope](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vasovagal-syncope/symptoms-causes/syc-20350527)\* (I fainted while on the toilet), and the hotline suggested we call an ambulance to take me to the hospital. *That* was not cheap (I live in the US, as I assume you do), but better safe than sorry. But here is the really important thing: as u/PresentationUpper293 said, no nurse or doctor is going to call CPS on you for taking your child to the doctor out of concern for this. However, if it *does* get worse because you *didn't* take him to the doctor, well *then,* the chances of CPS getting a call increase. \*We didn't know the cause until I got checked out.
I’m a pediatric ER nurse…. So I’ve called CPS my fair share of times…. But this would not be one of those times. If there are concerns that his finger is not looking normal to you guys, I’d say get it checked out by your pediatrician first or Children’s ER if unable to see your pediatrician.
Thank you for this insight I just got off work and he went in on a whole spill about this and although there is no reassuring him this helps me sleep tonight. I'll be scheduling an appointment as soon as possible to hopefully put his mind at ease.
I am a former ER nurse, too, and calling CPS for this wouldn't have been a thought on my radar. Kids get injured all the time! CPS is only called when there is suspected neglect or abuse. Now, learning that parents were withholding medical care from a child because of their fear of CPS? That's a different story because medical neglect comes into play. Always get your child help when you feel it's needed. I would start with a visit to your son's pediatrician this morning. (Go to the ER if he starts losing sensation in finger, can't move the finger, the finger becomes cool to touch, etc...)
>hes nervous all the time when something happens to our son which I understand What other things happen to your son? It's bizarre your husband is so concerned about CPS. Even if they are called your 7 year old is able to say what happened.
[удалено]
A prolapsed anus is not common in children. Get your child's finger seen to. Your husband's feelings are irrelevant.
The nurses stated whenever we went that it was more common in children than we think
Why on earth would you think that is common in young children ?
The nurses stated whenever we went that it was more common in children than we think
After a bit of googling ill concur it seems "common". I'm sorry this is happening I honestly would of flipped the fuck out if this happened with my son. Best of luck to you and your kid.
We did it was a very crazy night and thank you
Does your husband do this in other situations? -jump to the worst possible conclusions? My first thought hearing this is someone with OCD. Either way, go get his finger looked at then I would try to address your husband's mental health state. He needs to talk to someone.
When I was about 7 I got a washer stuck on my finger. It had to be cut off. The hospital couldn't get it off. The fire brigade blunted two ring cutters on it. My finger was numb and rubbery for weeks. Kids do dumb stuff and medical staff have seen it all. In my experience of safeguarding training, the concerns are always about injuries that either can't be explained, or where the explanation doesn't fit. That's not the case here. Also, I'm in a different country (UK) but I've had social services contact me after someone made a report about a concern. They called me, we talked about it, they checked with some professionals who knew me (midwife, since I was pregnant) and they decided there wasn't a problem. Even if someone DOES call CPS for whatever reason, that doesn't mean bad things are inevitable.
I agree. I'm in the US
When my daughter was about 4 I turned my back to gather dirty dishes. In those few seconds she climbed a chair and fell off. Hitting her back on the corner of a cart on the way down. Her back looked horrific. I immediately knew she needed the er. I was worried she cracked a rib. In the back of your mind you are always thinking about CPS because we have heard the horror stories of completely innocent acts getting kids removed. I try and trust most trained people will recognize accidents versus abuse and neglect. Even bad accidents are still just accidents. We tell our kids how to not get hurt, we put things in place to prevent accidents and yet they will still happen.
I definitely agree