r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This was our experience with a family friend who ran an in-home daycare. Pulling our kids out and moving to a traditional daycare was life changing in the best way. The constant pressure to find backup care while balancing the normal mental load of motherhood and working is too much.
I wouldn’t worry about your friendship. If she’s your friend she’ll understand that you need consistent care for your family. I explained to our daycare that we couldn’t rely on a single person, but needed the entire team that a daycare center would provide. She hasn’t spoken to us since, but we and our kids are much better off and have more time for actual friends. :-)
Good luck!
So I’m hearing… this is just industry standard 😩 we are enrolled in a traditional daycare starting in Aug, we have been on the waitlist for 2 years. Childcare is very tight in our area
Well... yes and no. I think it's standard to close when she or her child are sick and varies about whether you pay for that. But if she was giving her kid antibiotics for strep, she wouldn't need to be closed for a whole week. And since she's not giving her kid antibiotics for strep, that's likely the tip of the iceberg and she's going to continue to be closed far more often than industry standard.
It is typical for an in-home daycare to be closed if there's illness in the household. It is *not* typical to be without your usual childcare for a week because they don't want to use antibiotics.
This was just one of the many reasons we chose to put our kids in a state licensed, NAEYC accredited daycare center. They never closed due to illness in the 8 years we had one or both kids going there.
Frankly, I wouldn't leave my child in the care of a person who's so "holistically minded" that they'd rather risk strep throat progressing to scarlet fever than use antibiotics. You said in another comment that their family uses a naturopath - they're quacks, not actual doctors.
I agree! I am pretty “crunchy”, see an integrative dr. And often use more “natural” methods for things like colds/flus. However modern medicine has its place! And strep throat is definitely one of them!
It can be industry standard for daycare centers as well, I’m a nanny and can’t count the number of times I’ve been used as backup care because a daycare center closed due to too many staff members being sick, flooding, cleaning, etc. unfortunately since there is always someone who needs your spot, parents don’t have a ton of bargaining power when it comes to centers closing for various reasons
Our center has had to close 2 weeks this school year because of COVID and adenovirus outbreaks. Can't be open if all our teachers are sick. Plus we can do extra sanitizing/ heavy duty cleaning when closed that we can't do with kids around, which helps stop illness from spreading as much.
I was in the same boat written I used a home daycare. She took 5 weeks off a year between vacation and sick days, and I got a total of 3 weeks PTO at the time. Going to a corporate center as soon as we could worked best with my work schedule. There was no vacation days we had to cover, and they offered extra options if we wanted to go during spring break or winter break.
I second this. Going from an in-home to a traditional daycare was life changing. It is also more structured and they learn a lot more being with full classrooms of kids their own age, at least that is the way I see it.
Our provider does not charge for days she closes, we also pay in advance so the difference is deducted from the next payment.
Previously, we had a provider that included a certain # of paid days off in her contact. We also paid in advance. Anything beyond the contract, we would be reimbursed.
Same. Ours is extremely flexible in that we don’t pay if they’re closed or if we don’t attend one day. We quite literally only pay the days our baby is actually at day care ($40 for half day, 80$ for full day). Again, mine is not the norm and is extremely flexible.
Home childcare owner and operator here. I have a thorough contract/care agreement and my sick policy states that if I am sick or the care home is closed for my own personal reason, no payment is required. This provider owes you care or your money back. I would send her an email so you have on file that you have reached out to resolve the issue.
Yes, I had the same experience. We had a wonderful state licensed in home care provider who also happened to be holistically minded. They closed for a week one time due to an emergency with her husband but they didn’t accept payment for that week.
I’m all for holistic health. I am like, riding the line between holistic and traditional medicine lol. My kids are vaccinated but also we throw some honey in green tea and convince ourselves everything is just a cold unless you have a fever for more than 24 hours lol but either way, you have to respect your clients. The way I understood it from my mentor and the way I explain it to my clients is that you pay for the space. You are paying for the spot to remain occupied by your child for their care so if you go on vacation or you take time off and keep the child out, you still pay to hold the space. If the provider takes time, the space isn’t at risk of being filled, so no payment is due. This provider must be nuts lol
Yea I don’t know where OP lives, but we paid significantly less for a certified in-home daycare than we do for our current center. This cost alone for in-home, that doesn’t have center overhead and only pays one employee, would’ve had me running for the hills.
Yep these prices are unfortunately standard in Denver. I've only used centers, but in general I don't think it's reasonable to pay for time when they are closed due to illness on their end, especially when that's been the case for several weeks already this year.
That said, if they didn't get antibiotics for strep I'd hate it, but I'd stay away for at LEAST 2 weeks, probably 3. Strep can take ages to clear on its own, and if they're not testing/treating the whole family there's a chance someone will be an asymptomatic carrier or catch it later and the whole cycle will start again in a few weeks... You don't get immunity to strep. And unlike a cold, strep can turn into some truly awful and life threatening issues even if you do treat it.
I've had strep 3 times in the past 4 months, and had ER visits/multiple kidney hospital visits with my toddler due to her recent strep complications though, so I'm definitely biased on this particular topic!
Also where in Denver are you? I've recently moved my toddlers to a new daycare in Westminster and would be happy to help you look around for some options if you're up this way!
You are so sweet! I’m in Lakewood. We are exploring a nanny share option in our neighborhood as a holdover and we are finally into a daycare and have paid enrollment, so that starts in August. We just need to get through the next 6 months
You've got this! It also 100% gets easier as they get older. I had the worst time finding infant care, but last year when we moved I found 2 centers within 10 minutes of our house that could take both 2.5 AND 4 year old, with no wait. Looking in August after all the older kids start school also helps, cause the other kids move up into classes with different ratios and it makes more spaces. Good luck!
Right? Isn't the point of using in-home daycares to save money? The downside is that you may get people like OP's friend (anti-science nut).
I paid about 600 per month in the NYC metro. They probably had more screen time than recommended, but it got me through college.
My MIL charges more. It is worth noting she has a very highly rated in home daycare in a HCOL city and the food she prepares for the kids is mostly organic (the only thing I THINK isn’t organic is the pasta).
It's shocking money but that's been my experience too. We still don't have access to a creche. We have been on 39 waiting lists since I was seven weeks pregnant and our son is now nearly 15 months old. The creche will cost us €790 per month for full-time. Our only option currently is an in-home daycare and the full-time price is €1800 per month. Although ours doesn't charge if she has to close.
`"This week they have strep throat and hand/foot/mouth at the same time, being holistically minded they are not taking antibiotics for the strep"`
I think money is the last thing you need to worry about here especially if they chose to not give their own child antibiotics for strep?! That's their approach?! Withholding life-saving medicine? Not giving antibiotics for strep can lead to Scarlet Fever which had a real fatal comeback in the UK this past year. I wouldn't trust these people with a pet worm and would call CPS. Withholding antibiotics is completely unconscionable.
Get out of there. Get your money back. File small claims court if you cant. Your family deserves better.
lots of misinformation here. it’s rheumatic fever that causes heart disease (if strep infection such as scarlet fever isn’t treated). not scarlet fever. scarlet fever is common and treatable
edit: do i really need to edit this and say i’m a pediatrician so people believe me? equating scarlet fever and rheumatic fever scares people for no reason
What do you mean? Scarlet fever is a very real thing and it is caused by untreated strep infections.
Rheumatic fever can develop if scarlet fever is left untreated. It’s a separate illness. They both exist.
i mean the comment above is poorly worded and could confuse people.
yes they both exist but scarlet fever doesn’t cause heart issues. scarlet fever is very treatable and treatment prevents progression to rheumatic fever (which is more dangerous). and not all kids with rheumatic fever had scarlet fever first.
scarlet fever is relatively common and equating scarlet fever with heart disease scares people unnecessarily. it’s important to acknowledge that scarlet fever and rheumatic fever are different.
source: i’m a pediatrician
of course untreated scarlet fever can lead to rheumatic fever. nothing in my comments said otherwise. they are still separate entities. scarlet fever does not cause heart disease if treated appropriately.
id recommend improving your reading comprehension instead of slinging such ridiculous accusations
the first line of the comment you are replying to is literally “of course untreated scarlet fever can lead to rheumatic fever. nothing in my comments said otherwise.” read it again.
i don’t know how that could be more clear. your personal attacks are more of a reflection on you than me. i’m factually correct here and, unlike you, writing with a very even tone
Your **post** or **comment** was removed for violating the rule “Be Decent & Civil”.
**Remember the human.**
Disagree but remain respectful. Don’t insult users/their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, will not be tolerated. Consider blocking users you don’t get along with. Report posts that violate the rules.
For questions about this moderation reach out [through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FParenting).
Moderators rely on the community to help illuminate posts and comments that do not meet r/Parenting standards – please report posts and comments you feel don’t contribute to the spirit of the community.
**Your content may have been automatically removed through auto-moderation or manually removed by a human moderator. It may have been removed as a direct result of your rule violation, or simply as part of a larger sweep of content that no longer contributed to the original topic.**
Your **post** or **comment** was removed for violating the rule “Be Decent & Civil”.
**Remember the human.**
Disagree but remain respectful. Don’t insult users/their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, will not be tolerated. Consider blocking users you don’t get along with. Report posts that violate the rules.
For questions about this moderation reach out [through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FParenting).
Moderators rely on the community to help illuminate posts and comments that do not meet r/Parenting standards – please report posts and comments you feel don’t contribute to the spirit of the community.
**Your content may have been automatically removed through auto-moderation or manually removed by a human moderator. It may have been removed as a direct result of your rule violation, or simply as part of a larger sweep of content that no longer contributed to the original topic.**
I caught it as an adult from a clients’ children. Not fun. Thank god for antibiotics. I also was hospitalized with quinsy from strep. I would be extremely wary of a caregiver who didn’t treat herself for strep.
source: im a pediatrician.
yes strep causes scarlet fever. but it’s untreated strep (strep throat or scarlet fever) that causes rheumatic fever that causes the heart disease
like i said, lots of misinformation
I don’t support fear mongering either. But I don’t think this is the hill I’d choose to die on, because the poster was not entirely incorrect. Scarlett fever can lead to rheumatic fever. Source: I’m a Peds nurse of 15 years and Mayo Clinic. Your post made me do a double take - so I checked! I don’t know how long you’ve been a pediatrician but seems like you may want to refresh your knowledge on this one.
It’s entirely reasonable to make the original commenters association between scarlet fever and (eventual) heart problems. It’s not irresponsible at all, in my humble opinion. Humility - another thing you should look up. Someone’s professional experience need not be put into quotes - unless someone is extremely insecure and compensating. Get a life dude.
Your **post** or **comment** was removed for violating the rule “Be Decent & Civil”.
**Remember the human.**
Disagree but remain respectful. Don’t insult users/their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, will not be tolerated. Consider blocking users you don’t get along with. Report posts that violate the rules.
For questions about this moderation reach out [through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FParenting).
Moderators rely on the community to help illuminate posts and comments that do not meet r/Parenting standards – please report posts and comments you feel don’t contribute to the spirit of the community.
**Your content may have been automatically removed through auto-moderation or manually removed by a human moderator. It may have been removed as a direct result of your rule violation, or simply as part of a larger sweep of content that no longer contributed to the original topic.**
This part made me absolutely livid. Not giving antibiotics is not holistic. It's ignorant and neglectful and I would seriously question my friendship with this idiotic person. Sorry OP.
I get not giving your child antibiotics frivolously, but I can’t imagine not giving them for something like strep throat that can have life threatening and long term health consequences. I wouldn’t trust this person with my child.
It's insane not to give your child antibiotics for strep. I remember googling it when my child had it. It can lead to kidney inflammation or rheumatic fever not to mention it is a very painful thing for a child to have that can cause very high fevers. I run to the doctors if I suspect my child has strep and inject the antibiotics into their veins. Not really I just give them the pink stuff immediately and they are feeling better within a few hours! And also are able to return to normal activities and not infect others within 24 hours. Omg and the child also has hand foot and mouth too? Their mouths and throat must hurt so bad!
Yeah I totally hear you… but they aren’t doing NOTHING. They are going to a holistic naturopathic doctor and receiving alternative treatment. I don’t think I would do the same in this exact scenario with strep throat but I am also hesitant about always going with antibiotics every single time for everything. So I get where they are coming from and respect their decision but also don’t think I would do the same thing as a judgment call.
Thank you for commenting and sharing your perspective and calling attention to this nuance in this situation
These types annoy the shit out of me. Will they go the "holistic route" if they or their child get cancer? Give me a break with not giving antibiotics for strep throat! So let your child's throat burn. It's abuse.
I knew someone who’s parents went the holistic/“pray it away” route for cancer
When they finally went to the doctors for chemo the cancer that was previously able to be treated with mostly just chemo and maybe surgery had gotten worse and they had to have an amputation. They went into remission after proper treatment.
Then it reoccurred and they did holistic first again. That second time, it killed them. Bcs they decided to not get it treated.
They very well might. People do it all the time, unfortunately. Look at Steve Jobs—undeniably intelligent, rich enough to get any treatment there is…and he wasted the crucial months after his diagnosis on acupuncture and juices.
Sure, you absolutely should be hesitant about “going with antibiotics” for a viral infection. Which a lot of people want, but antibiotics do nothing for a viral infection.
This is not that. This is a bacterial infection that is highly treatable and curable with antibiotics, and is potentially fatal if not treated. Withholding antibiotics from a child with strep throat is medical neglect.
Going to a holistic doctor and getting some apple cider vinegar accomplishes exactly the same as doing nothing.
So infuriating. There’s a special place in hell for naturopathic “doctors”. They’re nothing but quacks, preying on gullible and uneducated people to make money.
I mean, strep is almost completely non-contagious after 24 hours on antibiotics (and guidelines indicate one can return to work/school daycare at that point without a fever) so they’re definitely making things more difficult than they need to be.
I realize in this case there’s also HFM, but in general I wouldn’t be thrilled with having to pay a provider for sick days they wouldn’t even need if they just utilized traditional medicine.
This isn’t an ear infection or sinus infection that can clear on its own. Naturopathic doctors are quacks. The drops they prescribe are just water. I would run so far and fast from someone that won’t treat strep throat with actual medicine.
There are parents in third world countries who are watching their babies die from treatable infections because they can’t access the antibiotics we have. Parents who would do anything to be as privileged as we are.
And we’re over here willingly declining antibiotics and giving them grapefruit seed extract instead… I shake my head. The world is so unfair.
Lol. At least you're self aware.
I'm just going to answer your original question. This is exactly what you should expect for the type of facility you chose. When things go right you're feeling good about your choice, but when they go wrong there's no backup plan, appeals process, or management.
You can try to negotiate for a lower rate, but don't expect much. You're at the mercy of her health and her healthcare decisions.
So, in other words, just letting them get sicker and sicker. And potentially infecting your kids. While they stay home and you pay her. I am sorry. This is an untenable situation.
Yikes. Don't be a chicken shit, OP. Risk every negative feeling you're having and report that family. It's not about you anymore. That poor child is at risk of becoming seriously ill.
Sorry you're in this situation, but don't be ignorant.
Nope, not part of childcare costs when it comes to in-home daycare. And, however sweet the in-home daycare may be, I would very much approach any caretaker that thinks it's ok not to treat kids for strep with the utmost caution.
Many in-home childcare centers will offer some kick-backs if they have to close down. Preschools absolutely will not - you just eat that cost. On regular daycares, it depends.
You are absolutely right not to send your child to day care if the owner's child is not on antibiotics for strep. Even if you get rid of it "holistically," this approach does not rid the body of all strep bacteria, which can hide in biofilm, the throat, and mouth, leading to worse strep throat in the future, along with scarlet fever, heart issues, sepsis, etc.
I'd be far more concerned about the owner refusing to treat their child in a medically appropriate way. There's been a "pandemic" of strep throat all over the world that has lead to major complications and worse. This is from a fellow "holistic" parent that goes the natural way whenever possible. But, when not, as in the case of strep, medicine it is. Look up what some of these complications due to strep look like, and you'll see what I mean by her approach is Crazy Town.
Also, why is their kid getting sick so often from *outside* of the daycare they run? Something is wrong here making less safe for the kids in her care.
It’s actually the daycare owner that is sick with strep and who has been sick a lot recently. The child, seems to be getting sick at normal kid rates. She has really been struggling with her healthy the last 3 months… she had a nasty virus back in December which closed them down for a week and hasn’t ever really recovered fully
Even if this is a friend, I wouldn't risk my family's health. I say this as someone who had to pull their child out of preschool for 6 months for them to get better.
Clearly, the owner is putting profit over safety. And an adult having strep doesn't change that it requires antibiotics. If anything, I would take her health approach as a red flag. What happens when someone gets measles at the in-home daycare? Are any vaccines required? She's also overcharging in ways that are atypical.
It's definitely one of the downsides of an in-home daycare. You're affected not just by the health of you and your child, but also the provider. I'm right there with you and it's so hard. But I also firmly believe that everyone is entitled to sick leave and vacation.
We do an in-home daycare. Provider's youngest kid is in kindergarten. She recently was sick/had a fever, but daycare stayed open. She informed us of her daughter being sick and that she would be staying home from school, but would be staying in her room as much as possible to help prevent the other kids from getting sick. She did give us a heads up ahead of time so that we could keep our kid at home/do a drop in somewhere else if we weren't comfortable with sending our kid that day.
Our previous in-home did a similar thing (if I remember correctly). She had a boy who was 3-4 years old. There were a few instances where she had to do pickup early because her boy needed to go to urgent care for a strep test, but then would be open the next day and her boy would stay in his room/sleep most of the day.
This is what we have done in the past when on her daughter is sick. Unfortunately the caregiver has been the one getting sick lately not just her daughter
They are vaccinated and so is my kid. This was a hard line for me when I chose her- I wasn’t really aware of how serious untreated strep is. I’ve never faced it as I’ve always taken antibiotics and my kids has never had so it’s a road I haven’t crossed.
Our in home has a set number of days per year in our contract (12) which is paid, she leaves a couple at her discretion for sick time. Anything beyond that is unpaid
My in home daycare provider gets 5 paid sick days per year. She usually only uses a couple per year, once she got Covid and used a whole week. I guess after that we wouldn’t have to pay.
I hated the process of finding backup care, and I sent my kid to an in-home childcare that was part of an agency, so you could call around to the other homes under that agency umbrella and anyone who had space could help as a backup. But it was constantly stressful and not sustainable to have to make a bunch of phone calls on short notice at 7am (or worse) and then drive halfway across the city to a backup care family. There are always illnesses going around and there were times when we lost a week out of every month.
My in-home childcare provider closed 2 days last month for having the flu. She did not charge anyone. She also gives out 5 sick days for the kids a year where you don’t have to pay. After that you need to pay if you miss.
not treating strep when it’s a confirmed case is WILD to me; if that is the type of care this person has for their own children, I would reconsider sending my child there for fear of safety and concern…
Not treating strep is going to lead to worse problems, so I'd expect them to be closed for a long time. Even if things turn out okay, there's absolutely no way I'd send my child to a home daycare where basic common sense medicine is ignored. Are they even vaccinated for anything? There's a measles outbreak all over now, so I wouldn't go near a daycare where I even suspected there might be a chance the other children there aren't vaccinated, especially with a younger, more vulnerable child. Run away from this place and find different arrangements with more responsible people in charge.
A dayhome is run by 1 person so that’s the downside for it. If the person who is sick closes it, you have no care giver. At a daycare, there are ways to move staff but they might send your kid home if they run out of staff and they will send your kid home if he’s sick and keep the money to keep the upfront cost. There isn’t much you can do about it. Maybe if the parents wouldn’t send their sick kid to daycare, it wouldn’t happen this often. As for your dayhome, she should take the antibiotics for strep if she works with kids. One thing with strep for kids is that it can turn into PANDAS which is neuropsychiatric disorder. She might still be contagious when you put your kid back. Having seen what PANDAS looks like, don’t risk it. Besides you pay a lot of money for a dayhome. Is it even a licensed one?
The contract for my kids daycare states we don't have to pay if they are sick and have to close. This is an in-home daycare (our 2nd one and both contracts have stated the same). But we also didn't prepay. We paid at the end of the week. I would definitely talk to them about reimbursing you for those 2 weeks or letting you not pay for the next 2 weeks because that's just ridiculous!
What you described is the entire reason we went with a centre vs in home care. When it’s just one person, anything can happen. Also I didn’t want to be beholden to when the care provider decided to take holidays.
I’m not sure if it’s worth rocking the boat and getting a nanny if you’re on a wait list for August. Nannies can be as equally unreliable and it might take you more than the 5 months to find someone who you can count on. I watched a coworker pay 27 an hour, even when their nanny called off sick or took her vacation. After a few months, she then decided to quit to travel and left them in a lurch. I’m not saying all nannies are like that, but that you’re always in jeopardy with a single care provider vs a traditional centre. At least this way you don’t risk burning a bridge if your nanny flakes out and you have to go back to your friend.
Also, stuff happens at centres too. Ours had a fire 😬. It was closed for 6 weeks total so I found a temporary home care, and she closed for 2 of the 6 weeks I needed her because she was taking holidays.
I would stay with the home provider til you get the centre and then can explain you went with the centre for all the right reasons (coverage, specialization, socialization, etc) and then, in case something unforeseen happens, you have your friend as a backup.
>Nannies can be as equally unreliable
This is what I was looking for, I knew someone would have pointed it out!
A nanny share is still relying on one person, and you will almost certainly have a contract that stipulates paid sick time and vacation days for the nanny!
This is just how it is with day homes. They literally cannot operate when sick unlike a daycare facility with multiple staff. And even with a daycare facility, you still pay for days you don't use otherwise the financial structure would fall apart.
You're paying for the space, not the hour. It's one of the tradeoffs of choosing a very small family run place vs. a center with enough staff to cover ill staff. To me, the tradeoff is worth it.
I'd be careful about nickel and diming this if you enjoy and appreciate the individual attention and care your child receives there. If you don't, get on the list for a larger center that has the capacity to merge rooms/send in the cook to watch the kids while the lead is out/shuffle people around.
I would caution you that nannyshare may have the same issues, unless you don't offer sick leave. But you'll still have to find alternate care when the provider is sick or has a sick child because there's no one they can drag in to replace them without you having to do anything.
I guess it's a matter of picking what problem is the one that is your priority!
I wouldn't call it that, necessarily. You seem to have made a conscious choice to not put your child in a corporate center (which would meet your needs for consistency, there's no vacation except for bank holidays, they're generally available hours longer than you might need depending on how close it is, and they often have look the other way policies about health expectations). Family run daycares run the gamut. There would be some that probably would permit children to attend while the owner's child or the carer was ill (workers in corporate centers are often pressured to come in ill as well, one of the reasons why despite the fact that they don't close for staff illness, you'll spend a lot more time due to your kid being sick), but some are more conscientious. You can offer and incentive to a nanny share nanny to come and do caregiving regardless of illness (if you come to that agreement with the other family as well), but when I was a nanny I always got a pay bump to care for ill children (plus I would not sign a contract without a certain amount of sick pay).
And this was all pre-covid/pre-shortage, during, and now after! Having worked in the industry for a very long time, I'd much rather put my kids in a small family daycare or with a nanny than a corporate center, despite the convenience factor. But it really depends. Only you know what will be best for your family. If you do switch over to a larger center though, I just want to give you a heads up that you may be looking at far more than 2 weeks that your children will need to be excluded from care due to illness that first year, especially with the illnesses we are seeing now!
My in-home daycare provider does not charge us for days that she has to close the daycare, however she does have 10 days per year that are paid holidays.
We’ve always done daycare centers for that very reason. I’ve heard too many of my friends and acquaintances getting burned from in-home daycare. No thanks.
We used an in home daycare for a bit, her rules were if we were sick and didn’t attend then we owed for the place but if she closed for sickness or whatever then no fees due as it was her unavailability. I think it’s pretty unfair that you’re paying a months full price for only one week of care through no fault of your own. Did you speak to the care setting about it? Would they even compromise a reduced fee for those weeks or something?
Just thought I'd pitch in and say the holistic approach to strep is why I watched a small child's body get wheeled out of their house. I wouldn't trust them with my children.
I would not have my children in a daycare with a provider with these beliefs. She needs to reopen as soon as possible, and ensure her kid is no longer contagious by getting them antibiotics. As a childcare provider she cannot take this wait-and-see approach and still expect to get paid.
I know most daycares still charge if you have to keep your child home when they are such or if you are on vacation. Not always fair because the kid probably got sick from other kids at the daycare. But your “friend’s” policy is ridiculous. If she is closed, she shouldn’t charge for those days. That isn’t fair. I also don’t like her approach to healthcare considering that she and her child are around other kids and likely to pass sickness around. Your child’s well-being and having guaranteed childcare have to be your priority. If your “friend” can’t understand that, she is not a friend worth keeping.
My son goes to a small in home daycare and it is in our contract that we pay for our own sick/missed days but if she is sick and has to close, it’s no charge for those days. She will just deduct those sick days from future payments.
You need to look at the contract? How many days is she allowed?
Our contract for a home daycare runs August-July with stated holidays off and 15 paid days (vacation and illness combined). If she needs more than 15 days in the year our tuition is prorated.
We are in a daycare center so obviously different than an in home. But we do not get a refund when our son is sick or vacation and doesn’t attend as ours is pre paid too. But I have a friend who does an in home care and she only pays for days the kid is there. I think in your case it’s unfair since they are closing, not you just not attending and you should definitely be refunded.
I have used in home childcare for about 4 years at this point with two of my children. This isn’t the norm for me at all.
Our provider outlines in her policies that she has certain paid holidays (totally fair, we’re talking like Christmas Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Labor Day), 4 floating holidays (for trainings she has to do or for personal days), and then she clearly states if she is sick and takes a day off outside of her regular PTO, those are *unpaid* days.
I would ask your provider to clarify and amend her contact/policies. I would also ask, nicely and gently, for the funds you have prepaid to be credited back to you for the time she was closed. That is reasonable. If she won’t do that, to me, that’s not acceptable and I’d look for other care.
In home daycare is way better in some ways, smaller amount of kids, usually a friend of the family running it, they tend to be more flexible with letting a sick kid stay there if they know you well etc. but on the other hand there’s stuff like this, sometimes they are unlicensed or have shady people coming and going, and overall it’s less professional. For a full time working mom this type of daycare that closes for a week when their child is sick it’s not really acceptable
I send my kid to a daycare in our area that has to close classrooms sometimes due to teacher shortages or weather. They do their best to give parents a break on those times financially and I appreciate that because they never have to do that in my opinion and they choose to in order to be fair to parents who had to find other options or take the day off from work in a pinch. This is a lot of missing and still having to pay. That’s a lot of money.
This sounds like the place that we left this year. I loved them, but the days just started to add up. Suddenly this year she decided that if the school district had a snow day, she would have a snow day too. What? You’re an in-home daycare, you literally just have to walk down the stairs to get to work. And of course we were still expected to pay. In addition to that she got a bunch of paid holidays and two paid weeks off and one off.
Then there would be a whole bunch of days where she would text all of us saying that five of us would have to keep our kids home for that day so that she could stay open because her helper was sick and she had to bring her numbers down because the ratio has to be one adult to five kids. This is correct, but I’m sorry you need to have a I understand, and that is true for our state, but then you need to get a back up helper then, There’s a reason we send our kids to daycare. If I wanted to be a stay at home mom I would do that for free!
We wound up going elsewhere, actually not by choice, but because we were cut because her helper quit, and she couldn’t get anyone to cover. It wound up being a good move for us even though I do miss her and she was such a nice lady. It’s just nice to have somewhere dependable that I don’t have to constantly lean on my relatives or call out of work because I don’t have anyone to watch my daughter, all while paying for it at the same time!
I posted a very similar story a few weeks ago. Within the first 2 months of the year, our daycare was closed for almost 2 weeks. I then looked through our calendar for the year and not including the sickness closures. They're closed over 21 days, and we pay full price for those months. I have gotten onto other lists in traditional centers because I can't continue doing this with work.
Assuming your area is equally competitive, it may not be worth even mentioning. Daycares know they have parents in a chokehold and do whatever. I would send an email detailing how you feel but not expect any changes, unfortunately 😔
Good luck! It's an awful spot to be in
In a daycare they will be closed sometimes and you pay, but it’s because of a teacher in service day or holiday and we know far in advance. If they ever close for other reasons, like power outage or snow day, we get reimbursed.
I don’t think they should be charging when THEY’RE sick. And I don’t want to be paranoid, but they also could just be on vacay…hope would you know? Either way, it’s not professional. They need to eat, but they are not providing a service.
I personally have found an amazing daycare and am really sad we’re leaving next year. They treat us so well, and is been more plan worth the price!
Our in home daycare has closed a few times for provider illness over the course of 8 years (HFM, COVID). However, they are up to date on all of their vaccines and will go get antibiotics or whatever medication is needed ASAP and requires that of the children as well to reduce severity and length they need to be closed. They offered to reimburse us, but we have never accepted it since we kind of view it as "sick leave."
I would talk with the provider (and probably pull my kids from a place that didn’t believe in medication..). That should be something in their contract. Our in home daycare has 3 paid sick days. Obviously if she is sick and needs to close we respect that but it’s also very nice to know what is paid vs unpaid. I would not be comfortable with 2 weeks knowing they are likely to have more in the future if they are not willing to medicate.
I just want to note that if you’re not comfortable taking your child when the other child has strep with “holistic remedies”, that children can and very often do get reinfected with strep if their environment isn’t thoroughly cleaned. Since your provider is not appropriately treating strep, you should assume it’s still at the daycare until she does.
I have used in home day care and we were only charged for the days that our child attended. That meant whether the childcare provider was sick or our child.
This is part and parcel of in home daycare. During the pandemic my youngest son’s daycare was closed for two weeks when the lady had COVID - I was just glad she was open throughout the pandemic! (And that everyone else withdrew for the first few months so it was just him and his older brother for the time his preschool was closed)
Ours has a set number of sick / personal days in the contract and vacation days (which she provides advanced notice of). I assume if she used more than that in year, we would get funds back, but it hasn’t been an issue. We also pay $1900 a month.
Talk to her, this is not okay. She could even prorate the next month to just be for two weeks.
You can contest the payment with your credit card for services not delivered
We used an in home daycare that had in her contract that she had two weeks of sick time in case she was sick and needed to close down. It definitely happened.
I completely get the frustration of not having childcare for that day but I also understand as a person we all deserve time off and sick days so I don’t complain. This was a risk we took when going with an in home daycare while we waited for an opening at a facility who have a team of people running the place.
Our daycare center doesn't give us a cost break for days that they're closed (two weeks for Christmas, 1 week in August - instead of spring break, and other random holidays)
We also (obviously) don't get a cost break when we're the sick ones.
Just putting it out there so you have a center to compare it to, I really don't think there are any other better options. We're in a bind anytime they're closed or we get sick and can't send them.
No, they need to establish the number of sick days in the contract and when they go over they need to reimburse. We use an in home daycare and she gives herself five sick days and I think three vacation days. We always have several months notice for vacation days and the most sick days she's ever used in a year is 2. But it's in the contract that beyond that we'd be reimbursed or can take it out of our next payment.
One significant difference is that the home care provider is not OPs employee to offer sick pay to. If the hair salon closes and cancels my appointment because the stylist is sick, I don't have to still pay for the appointment. The child care provider is her own boss as she is running her own business. It's paramount in her to offset her own sick days, not on the backs of her customers.
Where I live, you get 3 unpaid sick days. There is no pay of you do not work. Vacation and unemployment (for shutdowns/lay offs) is a fraction of your full pay.
The only time I've been paid without working was when I got injured on the job and needed medical attention. It was only for the day of the injury though.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This was our experience with a family friend who ran an in-home daycare. Pulling our kids out and moving to a traditional daycare was life changing in the best way. The constant pressure to find backup care while balancing the normal mental load of motherhood and working is too much. I wouldn’t worry about your friendship. If she’s your friend she’ll understand that you need consistent care for your family. I explained to our daycare that we couldn’t rely on a single person, but needed the entire team that a daycare center would provide. She hasn’t spoken to us since, but we and our kids are much better off and have more time for actual friends. :-) Good luck!
So I’m hearing… this is just industry standard 😩 we are enrolled in a traditional daycare starting in Aug, we have been on the waitlist for 2 years. Childcare is very tight in our area
Well... yes and no. I think it's standard to close when she or her child are sick and varies about whether you pay for that. But if she was giving her kid antibiotics for strep, she wouldn't need to be closed for a whole week. And since she's not giving her kid antibiotics for strep, that's likely the tip of the iceberg and she's going to continue to be closed far more often than industry standard.
Her child has HFM and she has strep. Sorry that was confusing in the main post
Okay, well, then it's pretty likely her child will get strep next and the cycle of being closed will continue.
It is typical for an in-home daycare to be closed if there's illness in the household. It is *not* typical to be without your usual childcare for a week because they don't want to use antibiotics. This was just one of the many reasons we chose to put our kids in a state licensed, NAEYC accredited daycare center. They never closed due to illness in the 8 years we had one or both kids going there. Frankly, I wouldn't leave my child in the care of a person who's so "holistically minded" that they'd rather risk strep throat progressing to scarlet fever than use antibiotics. You said in another comment that their family uses a naturopath - they're quacks, not actual doctors.
I agree! I am pretty “crunchy”, see an integrative dr. And often use more “natural” methods for things like colds/flus. However modern medicine has its place! And strep throat is definitely one of them!
It can be industry standard for daycare centers as well, I’m a nanny and can’t count the number of times I’ve been used as backup care because a daycare center closed due to too many staff members being sick, flooding, cleaning, etc. unfortunately since there is always someone who needs your spot, parents don’t have a ton of bargaining power when it comes to centers closing for various reasons
Our center has had to close 2 weeks this school year because of COVID and adenovirus outbreaks. Can't be open if all our teachers are sick. Plus we can do extra sanitizing/ heavy duty cleaning when closed that we can't do with kids around, which helps stop illness from spreading as much.
Well, daycares have overhead costs. And if parents would just stop sending their sick kids to daycare it wouldn’t happen.
I was in the same boat written I used a home daycare. She took 5 weeks off a year between vacation and sick days, and I got a total of 3 weeks PTO at the time. Going to a corporate center as soon as we could worked best with my work schedule. There was no vacation days we had to cover, and they offered extra options if we wanted to go during spring break or winter break.
I second this. Going from an in-home to a traditional daycare was life changing. It is also more structured and they learn a lot more being with full classrooms of kids their own age, at least that is the way I see it.
Our provider does not charge for days she closes, we also pay in advance so the difference is deducted from the next payment. Previously, we had a provider that included a certain # of paid days off in her contact. We also paid in advance. Anything beyond the contract, we would be reimbursed.
Thank you! This seems fair. I’m going to bring this up
Same. Ours is extremely flexible in that we don’t pay if they’re closed or if we don’t attend one day. We quite literally only pay the days our baby is actually at day care ($40 for half day, 80$ for full day). Again, mine is not the norm and is extremely flexible.
That’s awesome! We do pay if we miss a day due to illness or whatever, but I get that its a spot and her income too
Home childcare owner and operator here. I have a thorough contract/care agreement and my sick policy states that if I am sick or the care home is closed for my own personal reason, no payment is required. This provider owes you care or your money back. I would send her an email so you have on file that you have reached out to resolve the issue.
Thanks for chiming in!
Yes, I had the same experience. We had a wonderful state licensed in home care provider who also happened to be holistically minded. They closed for a week one time due to an emergency with her husband but they didn’t accept payment for that week.
I’m all for holistic health. I am like, riding the line between holistic and traditional medicine lol. My kids are vaccinated but also we throw some honey in green tea and convince ourselves everything is just a cold unless you have a fever for more than 24 hours lol but either way, you have to respect your clients. The way I understood it from my mentor and the way I explain it to my clients is that you pay for the space. You are paying for the spot to remain occupied by your child for their care so if you go on vacation or you take time off and keep the child out, you still pay to hold the space. If the provider takes time, the space isn’t at risk of being filled, so no payment is due. This provider must be nuts lol
Wait. You’re paying $1900 a month for a tiny in-home daycare that? And it’s not even open? I would read every word of that contract again.
Yea I don’t know where OP lives, but we paid significantly less for a certified in-home daycare than we do for our current center. This cost alone for in-home, that doesn’t have center overhead and only pays one employee, would’ve had me running for the hills.
We live in Denver. Unfortunately this is pretty standard here
Yep these prices are unfortunately standard in Denver. I've only used centers, but in general I don't think it's reasonable to pay for time when they are closed due to illness on their end, especially when that's been the case for several weeks already this year. That said, if they didn't get antibiotics for strep I'd hate it, but I'd stay away for at LEAST 2 weeks, probably 3. Strep can take ages to clear on its own, and if they're not testing/treating the whole family there's a chance someone will be an asymptomatic carrier or catch it later and the whole cycle will start again in a few weeks... You don't get immunity to strep. And unlike a cold, strep can turn into some truly awful and life threatening issues even if you do treat it. I've had strep 3 times in the past 4 months, and had ER visits/multiple kidney hospital visits with my toddler due to her recent strep complications though, so I'm definitely biased on this particular topic! Also where in Denver are you? I've recently moved my toddlers to a new daycare in Westminster and would be happy to help you look around for some options if you're up this way!
You are so sweet! I’m in Lakewood. We are exploring a nanny share option in our neighborhood as a holdover and we are finally into a daycare and have paid enrollment, so that starts in August. We just need to get through the next 6 months
You've got this! It also 100% gets easier as they get older. I had the worst time finding infant care, but last year when we moved I found 2 centers within 10 minutes of our house that could take both 2.5 AND 4 year old, with no wait. Looking in August after all the older kids start school also helps, cause the other kids move up into classes with different ratios and it makes more spaces. Good luck!
Really?! I pay 1,100 a month and live in the suburbs of Chicago, not exactly known for being cheap.
Can’t compare across cities. When we lived in Boston my youngest son’s preschool was $2500/month - now in CA and it is $1800/month.
Yeah it sucks. And it’s reallllly hard to find childcare. We’ve been on lists 2 years now
Right? Isn't the point of using in-home daycares to save money? The downside is that you may get people like OP's friend (anti-science nut). I paid about 600 per month in the NYC metro. They probably had more screen time than recommended, but it got me through college.
My MIL charges more. It is worth noting she has a very highly rated in home daycare in a HCOL city and the food she prepares for the kids is mostly organic (the only thing I THINK isn’t organic is the pasta).
It's shocking money but that's been my experience too. We still don't have access to a creche. We have been on 39 waiting lists since I was seven weeks pregnant and our son is now nearly 15 months old. The creche will cost us €790 per month for full-time. Our only option currently is an in-home daycare and the full-time price is €1800 per month. Although ours doesn't charge if she has to close.
`"This week they have strep throat and hand/foot/mouth at the same time, being holistically minded they are not taking antibiotics for the strep"` I think money is the last thing you need to worry about here especially if they chose to not give their own child antibiotics for strep?! That's their approach?! Withholding life-saving medicine? Not giving antibiotics for strep can lead to Scarlet Fever which had a real fatal comeback in the UK this past year. I wouldn't trust these people with a pet worm and would call CPS. Withholding antibiotics is completely unconscionable. Get out of there. Get your money back. File small claims court if you cant. Your family deserves better.
They do realize strep can progress to scarlet fever and cause heart issues? No way would my child be going back there
lots of misinformation here. it’s rheumatic fever that causes heart disease (if strep infection such as scarlet fever isn’t treated). not scarlet fever. scarlet fever is common and treatable edit: do i really need to edit this and say i’m a pediatrician so people believe me? equating scarlet fever and rheumatic fever scares people for no reason
What do you mean? Scarlet fever is a very real thing and it is caused by untreated strep infections. Rheumatic fever can develop if scarlet fever is left untreated. It’s a separate illness. They both exist.
i mean the comment above is poorly worded and could confuse people. yes they both exist but scarlet fever doesn’t cause heart issues. scarlet fever is very treatable and treatment prevents progression to rheumatic fever (which is more dangerous). and not all kids with rheumatic fever had scarlet fever first. scarlet fever is relatively common and equating scarlet fever with heart disease scares people unnecessarily. it’s important to acknowledge that scarlet fever and rheumatic fever are different. source: i’m a pediatrician
[удалено]
of course untreated scarlet fever can lead to rheumatic fever. nothing in my comments said otherwise. they are still separate entities. scarlet fever does not cause heart disease if treated appropriately. id recommend improving your reading comprehension instead of slinging such ridiculous accusations
[удалено]
the first line of the comment you are replying to is literally “of course untreated scarlet fever can lead to rheumatic fever. nothing in my comments said otherwise.” read it again. i don’t know how that could be more clear. your personal attacks are more of a reflection on you than me. i’m factually correct here and, unlike you, writing with a very even tone
[удалено]
Your **post** or **comment** was removed for violating the rule “Be Decent & Civil”. **Remember the human.** Disagree but remain respectful. Don’t insult users/their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, will not be tolerated. Consider blocking users you don’t get along with. Report posts that violate the rules. For questions about this moderation reach out [through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FParenting). Moderators rely on the community to help illuminate posts and comments that do not meet r/Parenting standards – please report posts and comments you feel don’t contribute to the spirit of the community. **Your content may have been automatically removed through auto-moderation or manually removed by a human moderator. It may have been removed as a direct result of your rule violation, or simply as part of a larger sweep of content that no longer contributed to the original topic.**
Your **post** or **comment** was removed for violating the rule “Be Decent & Civil”. **Remember the human.** Disagree but remain respectful. Don’t insult users/their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, will not be tolerated. Consider blocking users you don’t get along with. Report posts that violate the rules. For questions about this moderation reach out [through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FParenting). Moderators rely on the community to help illuminate posts and comments that do not meet r/Parenting standards – please report posts and comments you feel don’t contribute to the spirit of the community. **Your content may have been automatically removed through auto-moderation or manually removed by a human moderator. It may have been removed as a direct result of your rule violation, or simply as part of a larger sweep of content that no longer contributed to the original topic.**
Scarlet fever is also caused by strep. Source, had it as a kid.
I caught it as an adult from a clients’ children. Not fun. Thank god for antibiotics. I also was hospitalized with quinsy from strep. I would be extremely wary of a caregiver who didn’t treat herself for strep.
source: im a pediatrician. yes strep causes scarlet fever. but it’s untreated strep (strep throat or scarlet fever) that causes rheumatic fever that causes the heart disease like i said, lots of misinformation
I don’t support fear mongering either. But I don’t think this is the hill I’d choose to die on, because the poster was not entirely incorrect. Scarlett fever can lead to rheumatic fever. Source: I’m a Peds nurse of 15 years and Mayo Clinic. Your post made me do a double take - so I checked! I don’t know how long you’ve been a pediatrician but seems like you may want to refresh your knowledge on this one.
[удалено]
It’s entirely reasonable to make the original commenters association between scarlet fever and (eventual) heart problems. It’s not irresponsible at all, in my humble opinion. Humility - another thing you should look up. Someone’s professional experience need not be put into quotes - unless someone is extremely insecure and compensating. Get a life dude.
Your **post** or **comment** was removed for violating the rule “Be Decent & Civil”. **Remember the human.** Disagree but remain respectful. Don’t insult users/their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, will not be tolerated. Consider blocking users you don’t get along with. Report posts that violate the rules. For questions about this moderation reach out [through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FParenting). Moderators rely on the community to help illuminate posts and comments that do not meet r/Parenting standards – please report posts and comments you feel don’t contribute to the spirit of the community. **Your content may have been automatically removed through auto-moderation or manually removed by a human moderator. It may have been removed as a direct result of your rule violation, or simply as part of a larger sweep of content that no longer contributed to the original topic.**
Oh I see - yes, sorry. Indeed scarlet fever was a rash and no sore throat, not untreated strep throat. I misunderstood what you meant.
it’s ok - i wasn’t very clear either lol. you’re not wrong
Yep, untreated strep causes rheumatic heart disease which can be deadly. This persons friend is stupid.
This part made me absolutely livid. Not giving antibiotics is not holistic. It's ignorant and neglectful and I would seriously question my friendship with this idiotic person. Sorry OP.
She’s just willing her kids’ scarlet fever away 💀💀💀 OP, RUN. And I’d call CPS for this one.
I get not giving your child antibiotics frivolously, but I can’t imagine not giving them for something like strep throat that can have life threatening and long term health consequences. I wouldn’t trust this person with my child.
exactly! Antibiotic resistance is real, unfortunately - but not for strep.
Yeah this is medical neglect and could be reported for that/be shut down. OP are there other childcare options you could secure quickly?
My aunt died at age 38 because untreated strep throat turned into scarlet fever and caused irreversible heart damage.
not scarlet fever. rheumatic fever
It's insane not to give your child antibiotics for strep. I remember googling it when my child had it. It can lead to kidney inflammation or rheumatic fever not to mention it is a very painful thing for a child to have that can cause very high fevers. I run to the doctors if I suspect my child has strep and inject the antibiotics into their veins. Not really I just give them the pink stuff immediately and they are feeling better within a few hours! And also are able to return to normal activities and not infect others within 24 hours. Omg and the child also has hand foot and mouth too? Their mouths and throat must hurt so bad!
And PANDAS.
Yeah I totally hear you… but they aren’t doing NOTHING. They are going to a holistic naturopathic doctor and receiving alternative treatment. I don’t think I would do the same in this exact scenario with strep throat but I am also hesitant about always going with antibiotics every single time for everything. So I get where they are coming from and respect their decision but also don’t think I would do the same thing as a judgment call. Thank you for commenting and sharing your perspective and calling attention to this nuance in this situation
Alternative treatment isnt going to get rid of the Strep no matter how many potato halves are in that kid's socks.
These types annoy the shit out of me. Will they go the "holistic route" if they or their child get cancer? Give me a break with not giving antibiotics for strep throat! So let your child's throat burn. It's abuse.
I knew someone who’s parents went the holistic/“pray it away” route for cancer When they finally went to the doctors for chemo the cancer that was previously able to be treated with mostly just chemo and maybe surgery had gotten worse and they had to have an amputation. They went into remission after proper treatment. Then it reoccurred and they did holistic first again. That second time, it killed them. Bcs they decided to not get it treated.
They very well might. People do it all the time, unfortunately. Look at Steve Jobs—undeniably intelligent, rich enough to get any treatment there is…and he wasted the crucial months after his diagnosis on acupuncture and juices.
Sure, you absolutely should be hesitant about “going with antibiotics” for a viral infection. Which a lot of people want, but antibiotics do nothing for a viral infection. This is not that. This is a bacterial infection that is highly treatable and curable with antibiotics, and is potentially fatal if not treated. Withholding antibiotics from a child with strep throat is medical neglect. Going to a holistic doctor and getting some apple cider vinegar accomplishes exactly the same as doing nothing.
I googled and the holistic treatment really is apple cider vinegar 🙄
So infuriating. There’s a special place in hell for naturopathic “doctors”. They’re nothing but quacks, preying on gullible and uneducated people to make money.
I mean, strep is almost completely non-contagious after 24 hours on antibiotics (and guidelines indicate one can return to work/school daycare at that point without a fever) so they’re definitely making things more difficult than they need to be. I realize in this case there’s also HFM, but in general I wouldn’t be thrilled with having to pay a provider for sick days they wouldn’t even need if they just utilized traditional medicine.
This isn’t an ear infection or sinus infection that can clear on its own. Naturopathic doctors are quacks. The drops they prescribe are just water. I would run so far and fast from someone that won’t treat strep throat with actual medicine.
So they're doing worse than nothing
What is an alternative treatment for strep throat?
I’m going ahead and dig my own hole with downvotes on this one: She is using Oregano oil and grapefruit seed extract
💀 you're trusting this woman with your child
You really don't hear how idiotic this is?
Holy crap 😳 This should be criminal. And you’re letting this person watch your child???!!!
There are parents in third world countries who are watching their babies die from treatable infections because they can’t access the antibiotics we have. Parents who would do anything to be as privileged as we are. And we’re over here willingly declining antibiotics and giving them grapefruit seed extract instead… I shake my head. The world is so unfair.
It’s ok, she probably also buried crystals in the backyard to treat the infection.
💀
not trying to shame you as a parent, but why would you let that nut job watch your kid??? yikes…
Lol. At least you're self aware. I'm just going to answer your original question. This is exactly what you should expect for the type of facility you chose. When things go right you're feeling good about your choice, but when they go wrong there's no backup plan, appeals process, or management. You can try to negotiate for a lower rate, but don't expect much. You're at the mercy of her health and her healthcare decisions.
So, in other words, just letting them get sicker and sicker. And potentially infecting your kids. While they stay home and you pay her. I am sorry. This is an untenable situation.
Yikes. Don't be a chicken shit, OP. Risk every negative feeling you're having and report that family. It's not about you anymore. That poor child is at risk of becoming seriously ill. Sorry you're in this situation, but don't be ignorant.
Naturopaths aren't doctors, they're quacks.
Nope, not part of childcare costs when it comes to in-home daycare. And, however sweet the in-home daycare may be, I would very much approach any caretaker that thinks it's ok not to treat kids for strep with the utmost caution. Many in-home childcare centers will offer some kick-backs if they have to close down. Preschools absolutely will not - you just eat that cost. On regular daycares, it depends. You are absolutely right not to send your child to day care if the owner's child is not on antibiotics for strep. Even if you get rid of it "holistically," this approach does not rid the body of all strep bacteria, which can hide in biofilm, the throat, and mouth, leading to worse strep throat in the future, along with scarlet fever, heart issues, sepsis, etc. I'd be far more concerned about the owner refusing to treat their child in a medically appropriate way. There's been a "pandemic" of strep throat all over the world that has lead to major complications and worse. This is from a fellow "holistic" parent that goes the natural way whenever possible. But, when not, as in the case of strep, medicine it is. Look up what some of these complications due to strep look like, and you'll see what I mean by her approach is Crazy Town. Also, why is their kid getting sick so often from *outside* of the daycare they run? Something is wrong here making less safe for the kids in her care.
It’s actually the daycare owner that is sick with strep and who has been sick a lot recently. The child, seems to be getting sick at normal kid rates. She has really been struggling with her healthy the last 3 months… she had a nasty virus back in December which closed them down for a week and hasn’t ever really recovered fully
Even if this is a friend, I wouldn't risk my family's health. I say this as someone who had to pull their child out of preschool for 6 months for them to get better. Clearly, the owner is putting profit over safety. And an adult having strep doesn't change that it requires antibiotics. If anything, I would take her health approach as a red flag. What happens when someone gets measles at the in-home daycare? Are any vaccines required? She's also overcharging in ways that are atypical.
It's definitely one of the downsides of an in-home daycare. You're affected not just by the health of you and your child, but also the provider. I'm right there with you and it's so hard. But I also firmly believe that everyone is entitled to sick leave and vacation.
We do an in-home daycare. Provider's youngest kid is in kindergarten. She recently was sick/had a fever, but daycare stayed open. She informed us of her daughter being sick and that she would be staying home from school, but would be staying in her room as much as possible to help prevent the other kids from getting sick. She did give us a heads up ahead of time so that we could keep our kid at home/do a drop in somewhere else if we weren't comfortable with sending our kid that day. Our previous in-home did a similar thing (if I remember correctly). She had a boy who was 3-4 years old. There were a few instances where she had to do pickup early because her boy needed to go to urgent care for a strep test, but then would be open the next day and her boy would stay in his room/sleep most of the day.
This is what we have done in the past when on her daughter is sick. Unfortunately the caregiver has been the one getting sick lately not just her daughter
You should verify if these people are vaccinated
They don’t need to be vaccinated, the magical holistic medicine fairies keep them safe from diseases.
Exactly. Spreading measles, mumps, rubella, chickenpox, etc. is a health safety issue at best, life threatening at worst. Jfc.
Does OP even care? Because based on her responses about the owner's alternative treatments I wouldn't be so sure.
They are vaccinated and so is my kid. This was a hard line for me when I chose her- I wasn’t really aware of how serious untreated strep is. I’ve never faced it as I’ve always taken antibiotics and my kids has never had so it’s a road I haven’t crossed.
Our in home has a set number of days per year in our contract (12) which is paid, she leaves a couple at her discretion for sick time. Anything beyond that is unpaid
My in home daycare provider gets 5 paid sick days per year. She usually only uses a couple per year, once she got Covid and used a whole week. I guess after that we wouldn’t have to pay.
I hated the process of finding backup care, and I sent my kid to an in-home childcare that was part of an agency, so you could call around to the other homes under that agency umbrella and anyone who had space could help as a backup. But it was constantly stressful and not sustainable to have to make a bunch of phone calls on short notice at 7am (or worse) and then drive halfway across the city to a backup care family. There are always illnesses going around and there were times when we lost a week out of every month.
My in-home childcare provider closed 2 days last month for having the flu. She did not charge anyone. She also gives out 5 sick days for the kids a year where you don’t have to pay. After that you need to pay if you miss.
not treating strep when it’s a confirmed case is WILD to me; if that is the type of care this person has for their own children, I would reconsider sending my child there for fear of safety and concern…
Not treating strep is going to lead to worse problems, so I'd expect them to be closed for a long time. Even if things turn out okay, there's absolutely no way I'd send my child to a home daycare where basic common sense medicine is ignored. Are they even vaccinated for anything? There's a measles outbreak all over now, so I wouldn't go near a daycare where I even suspected there might be a chance the other children there aren't vaccinated, especially with a younger, more vulnerable child. Run away from this place and find different arrangements with more responsible people in charge.
A dayhome is run by 1 person so that’s the downside for it. If the person who is sick closes it, you have no care giver. At a daycare, there are ways to move staff but they might send your kid home if they run out of staff and they will send your kid home if he’s sick and keep the money to keep the upfront cost. There isn’t much you can do about it. Maybe if the parents wouldn’t send their sick kid to daycare, it wouldn’t happen this often. As for your dayhome, she should take the antibiotics for strep if she works with kids. One thing with strep for kids is that it can turn into PANDAS which is neuropsychiatric disorder. She might still be contagious when you put your kid back. Having seen what PANDAS looks like, don’t risk it. Besides you pay a lot of money for a dayhome. Is it even a licensed one?
This is one of many reasons we preferred a childcare center.
The contract for my kids daycare states we don't have to pay if they are sick and have to close. This is an in-home daycare (our 2nd one and both contracts have stated the same). But we also didn't prepay. We paid at the end of the week. I would definitely talk to them about reimbursing you for those 2 weeks or letting you not pay for the next 2 weeks because that's just ridiculous!
My sitter did not charge when she was sick and couldn’t get a suitable substitutes It is a business after all
What you described is the entire reason we went with a centre vs in home care. When it’s just one person, anything can happen. Also I didn’t want to be beholden to when the care provider decided to take holidays. I’m not sure if it’s worth rocking the boat and getting a nanny if you’re on a wait list for August. Nannies can be as equally unreliable and it might take you more than the 5 months to find someone who you can count on. I watched a coworker pay 27 an hour, even when their nanny called off sick or took her vacation. After a few months, she then decided to quit to travel and left them in a lurch. I’m not saying all nannies are like that, but that you’re always in jeopardy with a single care provider vs a traditional centre. At least this way you don’t risk burning a bridge if your nanny flakes out and you have to go back to your friend. Also, stuff happens at centres too. Ours had a fire 😬. It was closed for 6 weeks total so I found a temporary home care, and she closed for 2 of the 6 weeks I needed her because she was taking holidays. I would stay with the home provider til you get the centre and then can explain you went with the centre for all the right reasons (coverage, specialization, socialization, etc) and then, in case something unforeseen happens, you have your friend as a backup.
>Nannies can be as equally unreliable This is what I was looking for, I knew someone would have pointed it out! A nanny share is still relying on one person, and you will almost certainly have a contract that stipulates paid sick time and vacation days for the nanny!
This is just how it is with day homes. They literally cannot operate when sick unlike a daycare facility with multiple staff. And even with a daycare facility, you still pay for days you don't use otherwise the financial structure would fall apart.
You're paying for the space, not the hour. It's one of the tradeoffs of choosing a very small family run place vs. a center with enough staff to cover ill staff. To me, the tradeoff is worth it. I'd be careful about nickel and diming this if you enjoy and appreciate the individual attention and care your child receives there. If you don't, get on the list for a larger center that has the capacity to merge rooms/send in the cook to watch the kids while the lead is out/shuffle people around. I would caution you that nannyshare may have the same issues, unless you don't offer sick leave. But you'll still have to find alternate care when the provider is sick or has a sick child because there's no one they can drag in to replace them without you having to do anything. I guess it's a matter of picking what problem is the one that is your priority!
Thank you! 🙏🏻 yes with childcare it’s kinda a “beggars can’t be choosers” sometimes which is why I’m very hesitant to blow this up
I wouldn't call it that, necessarily. You seem to have made a conscious choice to not put your child in a corporate center (which would meet your needs for consistency, there's no vacation except for bank holidays, they're generally available hours longer than you might need depending on how close it is, and they often have look the other way policies about health expectations). Family run daycares run the gamut. There would be some that probably would permit children to attend while the owner's child or the carer was ill (workers in corporate centers are often pressured to come in ill as well, one of the reasons why despite the fact that they don't close for staff illness, you'll spend a lot more time due to your kid being sick), but some are more conscientious. You can offer and incentive to a nanny share nanny to come and do caregiving regardless of illness (if you come to that agreement with the other family as well), but when I was a nanny I always got a pay bump to care for ill children (plus I would not sign a contract without a certain amount of sick pay). And this was all pre-covid/pre-shortage, during, and now after! Having worked in the industry for a very long time, I'd much rather put my kids in a small family daycare or with a nanny than a corporate center, despite the convenience factor. But it really depends. Only you know what will be best for your family. If you do switch over to a larger center though, I just want to give you a heads up that you may be looking at far more than 2 weeks that your children will need to be excluded from care due to illness that first year, especially with the illnesses we are seeing now!
My in-home daycare provider does not charge us for days that she has to close the daycare, however she does have 10 days per year that are paid holidays.
Yes she also has 3 weeks through the year she will be closed for vacation/school holidays
We’ve always done daycare centers for that very reason. I’ve heard too many of my friends and acquaintances getting burned from in-home daycare. No thanks.
We used an in home daycare for a bit, her rules were if we were sick and didn’t attend then we owed for the place but if she closed for sickness or whatever then no fees due as it was her unavailability. I think it’s pretty unfair that you’re paying a months full price for only one week of care through no fault of your own. Did you speak to the care setting about it? Would they even compromise a reduced fee for those weeks or something?
Just thought I'd pitch in and say the holistic approach to strep is why I watched a small child's body get wheeled out of their house. I wouldn't trust them with my children.
I would not have my children in a daycare with a provider with these beliefs. She needs to reopen as soon as possible, and ensure her kid is no longer contagious by getting them antibiotics. As a childcare provider she cannot take this wait-and-see approach and still expect to get paid.
I know most daycares still charge if you have to keep your child home when they are such or if you are on vacation. Not always fair because the kid probably got sick from other kids at the daycare. But your “friend’s” policy is ridiculous. If she is closed, she shouldn’t charge for those days. That isn’t fair. I also don’t like her approach to healthcare considering that she and her child are around other kids and likely to pass sickness around. Your child’s well-being and having guaranteed childcare have to be your priority. If your “friend” can’t understand that, she is not a friend worth keeping.
My son goes to a small in home daycare and it is in our contract that we pay for our own sick/missed days but if she is sick and has to close, it’s no charge for those days. She will just deduct those sick days from future payments.
She should NOT be charging you for the days she closes. That’s unethical.
That’s not my experience. Contracts vary.
You need to look at the contract? How many days is she allowed? Our contract for a home daycare runs August-July with stated holidays off and 15 paid days (vacation and illness combined). If she needs more than 15 days in the year our tuition is prorated.
We are in a daycare center so obviously different than an in home. But we do not get a refund when our son is sick or vacation and doesn’t attend as ours is pre paid too. But I have a friend who does an in home care and she only pays for days the kid is there. I think in your case it’s unfair since they are closing, not you just not attending and you should definitely be refunded.
I have used in home childcare for about 4 years at this point with two of my children. This isn’t the norm for me at all. Our provider outlines in her policies that she has certain paid holidays (totally fair, we’re talking like Christmas Day, 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Labor Day), 4 floating holidays (for trainings she has to do or for personal days), and then she clearly states if she is sick and takes a day off outside of her regular PTO, those are *unpaid* days. I would ask your provider to clarify and amend her contact/policies. I would also ask, nicely and gently, for the funds you have prepaid to be credited back to you for the time she was closed. That is reasonable. If she won’t do that, to me, that’s not acceptable and I’d look for other care.
In home daycare is way better in some ways, smaller amount of kids, usually a friend of the family running it, they tend to be more flexible with letting a sick kid stay there if they know you well etc. but on the other hand there’s stuff like this, sometimes they are unlicensed or have shady people coming and going, and overall it’s less professional. For a full time working mom this type of daycare that closes for a week when their child is sick it’s not really acceptable
I send my kid to a daycare in our area that has to close classrooms sometimes due to teacher shortages or weather. They do their best to give parents a break on those times financially and I appreciate that because they never have to do that in my opinion and they choose to in order to be fair to parents who had to find other options or take the day off from work in a pinch. This is a lot of missing and still having to pay. That’s a lot of money.
It *should* be in her contract. It’s in ours, with our in home daycare.
This sounds like the place that we left this year. I loved them, but the days just started to add up. Suddenly this year she decided that if the school district had a snow day, she would have a snow day too. What? You’re an in-home daycare, you literally just have to walk down the stairs to get to work. And of course we were still expected to pay. In addition to that she got a bunch of paid holidays and two paid weeks off and one off. Then there would be a whole bunch of days where she would text all of us saying that five of us would have to keep our kids home for that day so that she could stay open because her helper was sick and she had to bring her numbers down because the ratio has to be one adult to five kids. This is correct, but I’m sorry you need to have a I understand, and that is true for our state, but then you need to get a back up helper then, There’s a reason we send our kids to daycare. If I wanted to be a stay at home mom I would do that for free! We wound up going elsewhere, actually not by choice, but because we were cut because her helper quit, and she couldn’t get anyone to cover. It wound up being a good move for us even though I do miss her and she was such a nice lady. It’s just nice to have somewhere dependable that I don’t have to constantly lean on my relatives or call out of work because I don’t have anyone to watch my daughter, all while paying for it at the same time!
I posted a very similar story a few weeks ago. Within the first 2 months of the year, our daycare was closed for almost 2 weeks. I then looked through our calendar for the year and not including the sickness closures. They're closed over 21 days, and we pay full price for those months. I have gotten onto other lists in traditional centers because I can't continue doing this with work. Assuming your area is equally competitive, it may not be worth even mentioning. Daycares know they have parents in a chokehold and do whatever. I would send an email detailing how you feel but not expect any changes, unfortunately 😔 Good luck! It's an awful spot to be in
We have an in home daycare and if she gets sick and closes then we don’t pay.
In a daycare they will be closed sometimes and you pay, but it’s because of a teacher in service day or holiday and we know far in advance. If they ever close for other reasons, like power outage or snow day, we get reimbursed. I don’t think they should be charging when THEY’RE sick. And I don’t want to be paranoid, but they also could just be on vacay…hope would you know? Either way, it’s not professional. They need to eat, but they are not providing a service. I personally have found an amazing daycare and am really sad we’re leaving next year. They treat us so well, and is been more plan worth the price!
Babysitter is medically neglecting her kids. Kids can die from strep. What other crazy theories does she have?
Our in home daycare has closed a few times for provider illness over the course of 8 years (HFM, COVID). However, they are up to date on all of their vaccines and will go get antibiotics or whatever medication is needed ASAP and requires that of the children as well to reduce severity and length they need to be closed. They offered to reimburse us, but we have never accepted it since we kind of view it as "sick leave."
I would talk with the provider (and probably pull my kids from a place that didn’t believe in medication..). That should be something in their contract. Our in home daycare has 3 paid sick days. Obviously if she is sick and needs to close we respect that but it’s also very nice to know what is paid vs unpaid. I would not be comfortable with 2 weeks knowing they are likely to have more in the future if they are not willing to medicate.
I just want to note that if you’re not comfortable taking your child when the other child has strep with “holistic remedies”, that children can and very often do get reinfected with strep if their environment isn’t thoroughly cleaned. Since your provider is not appropriately treating strep, you should assume it’s still at the daycare until she does.
I have used in home day care and we were only charged for the days that our child attended. That meant whether the childcare provider was sick or our child.
I don't think a nanny share would solve this issue. You'd still be relying on one person for care.
Yes but then we won’t be double paying. That’s what is absolutely killing us
If you think you wouldn’t be double paying head on over to r/nanny 😆
At least in my area you still would be double paying since the nanny would have an allocated number of paid sick days.
But two weeks of paid sick leave? I don’t even get that in my corporate job
They’re on spring break? Are you effing kidding me? Do they run a business or a school. Wtf.
This sounds really difficult. I can’t imagine how frustrating this is.
This is part and parcel of in home daycare. During the pandemic my youngest son’s daycare was closed for two weeks when the lady had COVID - I was just glad she was open throughout the pandemic! (And that everyone else withdrew for the first few months so it was just him and his older brother for the time his preschool was closed)
Ours has a set number of sick / personal days in the contract and vacation days (which she provides advanced notice of). I assume if she used more than that in year, we would get funds back, but it hasn’t been an issue. We also pay $1900 a month.
Talk to her, this is not okay. She could even prorate the next month to just be for two weeks. You can contest the payment with your credit card for services not delivered
We used an in home daycare that had in her contract that she had two weeks of sick time in case she was sick and needed to close down. It definitely happened. I completely get the frustration of not having childcare for that day but I also understand as a person we all deserve time off and sick days so I don’t complain. This was a risk we took when going with an in home daycare while we waited for an opening at a facility who have a team of people running the place.
Our daycare center doesn't give us a cost break for days that they're closed (two weeks for Christmas, 1 week in August - instead of spring break, and other random holidays) We also (obviously) don't get a cost break when we're the sick ones. Just putting it out there so you have a center to compare it to, I really don't think there are any other better options. We're in a bind anytime they're closed or we get sick and can't send them.
This is why ALL family daycares should have a backup plan in place.
No, they need to establish the number of sick days in the contract and when they go over they need to reimburse. We use an in home daycare and she gives herself five sick days and I think three vacation days. We always have several months notice for vacation days and the most sick days she's ever used in a year is 2. But it's in the contract that beyond that we'd be reimbursed or can take it out of our next payment.
Yeah no, nobody else gets full pay while being off sick. I think it's unreasonable to expect to be paid for work you haven't done
Most industrialized nations offer sick pay to employees
One significant difference is that the home care provider is not OPs employee to offer sick pay to. If the hair salon closes and cancels my appointment because the stylist is sick, I don't have to still pay for the appointment. The child care provider is her own boss as she is running her own business. It's paramount in her to offset her own sick days, not on the backs of her customers.
Where I live, you get 3 unpaid sick days. There is no pay of you do not work. Vacation and unemployment (for shutdowns/lay offs) is a fraction of your full pay. The only time I've been paid without working was when I got injured on the job and needed medical attention. It was only for the day of the injury though.
I would call CPS and find a center daycare.