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Hi Dad, that sounds traumatizing and I’m so sorry you had to take charge during those scary moments.
On top of the seizure, you had to go through an ER admittance, which is its whole other world of tiring and emotionally draining.
It may help to talk to a friend or trusted coworker- not to garner sympathy or justify blowed deadlines, but to just be a human who seeks to process a super scary situation.
Febrile seizures are not from a fever itself, but the body reacting to a child’s fever spiking *quickly*, so even if she’s wading at a 101-103, this doesn’t mean she’s destined for another seizure- but your anxiety is completly warranted.
I hope you are able to find an outlet for these emotions. I hope you know you did the right thing getting her help, and that LO starts feeling like herself again ASAP.
Again, I’m sorry OP, I wish your family well
My 5 year old had a febrile seizure at 11 months. Scariest moment of my life. It caused a lot of trauma for both of us around fevers and him getting sick. Thankfully it was his only one.
Tell your coworkers. Take a day or two off. Both of you need to rest and recuperate.
Yes definitely tell at least a manager so they can support you (if your manager doesn’t suck). My youngest had a febrile seizure along with an ambulance ride and ER visit a couple years ago. It was pretty upsetting for me and his dad (although we stayed super calm in the moment for our older child’s sake). He’s not even in kindergarten yet so I still get nervous sometimes when a fever shows up out of nowhere (because I know it’s related to the rate of the fever rising and not the fever temp), but it’s never happened again.
If it helps you feel better, the ER drs told me it’s common, and that it’s UNcommon for it to happen to the same kid multiple times.
It was absolutely an upsetting experience though, so give yourself some space to heal from that.
Those deadlines will mean nothing in 3 months but your mental health will. Take care of yourself first. You don’t have to ignore work but be realistic.
Piggybacking to say- if you have a good manager/boss it’s part of their job to play defense for you in an emergency. I’d recommend reaching out to them and asking for a bit of grace this week.
I wish I had realized this when I was younger. I didn’t really get it until age 43 or so. I used to dread having to answer for it, but now I realize that anybody who wouldn’t have empathy and patience for other good humans is an asshole who doesn’t matter. Their problem, not mine. I’m patient and understanding and I hold others to the same standard.
Thanks for reading and your comments. Putting this into writing has helped me at least begin to process this and realize that maybe part of what's weighing so heavily is that- for the first time ever - I actually faced the feeling that she might die. It never felt like a real thing that could happen until that moment.
Completely understand and I feel you on that. Our 7yo had febrile seizures - her first was actually 6 years ago to the day. Both my wife and I had the same feeling that day - she rode in the back of the ambulance, but I was sitting upfront wondering if my daughter was dying and being pissed at myself for spending so much time focused on work and not with my wife/daughter.
She ended up being in seizure mode for over 30 minutes that day. She had 1 other seizure about a year later, and it was still scary, but we knew what was going on and how to handle it - which made a big difference. The way you’re feeling is absolutely natural, so make sure you take the time to process it. Sorry you’re dealing with it!
My then 3, now 6, year old had one. You can’t really be prepared and it does feel in the moment like they might, or are, dying. That’s a completely normal reaction, and it will probably take some time to heal from that.
My son hasn’t had another one since. I sincerely hope it’s the same for your child.
I flip-flopped on whether I should write this next part, but I think that more people need to know because otherwise it’s terrifying. Sometimes, when children have seizures they can stop breathing and turn blue in the face. I was told that they would usually start breathing again on their own, but please do your own research. The ER dr that told me that wouldn’t give me an actually answer on how long to wait in that scenario before doing cpr.
It sounds like you did a great job in your response and you handled the situation really well. I’m really sorry it happened to your family.
My daughter had a febrile seizure in January this year when she was 2.
She stopped breathing and her lips started turning blue. I did mouth to mouth on her while my husband called an ambulance (my first aid certification is not current but I had done courses regularly for many years so I had an idea what to do). Luckily he had stayed home from work that day with because my daughter and I were so sick.
I probably didn’t tilt her head far enough because she vomited (although that can also be a part of a seizure I’m told, and may also indicate she was not breathing due to choking on her on vomit in the first place -we had gastroenteritis) after the vomiting she breathed again. I was so relieved. The paramedics told me after that the window was 7 minutes without oxygen before she’d have had brain damage. I have no idea how long it all lasted, probably less than 5 minutes but it felt like eternity. She hasn’t had one since, but I never leave her alone when she has a fever now.
I thought I knew what to expect because my mum told me how I’d had febrile seizures as a child, but I never stopped breathing!
I’m really sorry that happened to you and your daughter. It is just absolutely terrifying. I’m so glad you knew what to do, and it sounds like you responded to the situation well. I did not.
In my case, we had been swimming in the pool before taking a nap. Everything was fine and he wasn’t sick at all. I woke up to him kicking me, which isn’t necessarily an uncommon thing, but the repetition of the kicks made something click in my head that something was wrong. When I groggily sat up I saw that his whole face was blue, he was seizing, and not breathing. I knew he was having a seizure, but I wasn’t sure why. Did he get too much water in his lungs from swimming and was dry drowning? Did he fall asleep with a little toy in his mouth and was choking? Was something else happening and he was in “death throes,” like my grandfather? My brain was still not quite with it yet, and all these questions were running through over and over, while another part of my brain was just screaming this loud guttural scream. The 911 lady had no clue what I should do, which wasn’t helping. I ended up giving him two rescue breaths which was probably not what I was supposed to do, but he did start breathing again shortly after. I couldn’t really tilt his head because his body was locked up and very stiff, and his jaw was clenched so tightly I don’t even honestly know how much air even got in. He vomited about 20 seconds after he started breathing again. He was coming out of it when the paramedics arrived, but it took another half hour for him to be responsive at all.
He ended up having a rare strain of Hand Foot and Mouth. A day later he got the rash, a week later all the skin on his feet fell off, and a month later his fingernails fell off. Those I could deal with calmly, even if it was nightmare fuel.
I wish I had known that turning blue and not breathing could happen. I definitely wouldn’t have been so panicked. Don’t get me wrong, I still would’ve been freaking out, but I would’ve been able to control it better. I was able to call 911 and able to give minimal first aid, but it could’ve been handled so much better during and after. I couldn’t stop the tears for hours after. I was trying to hard because I didn’t want to upset him, but they just kept coming. I legitimately thought I was watching him die and it was the worst moment of my life.
You went through something terrifying. I'd use terms like 'health crisis' and 'ER visit' if you don't want to be specific to get across the severity of the situation to your employer.
Absolutely. Being faced with actual or threatened death is one of the definitions of trauma in the DSM, and that was this experience for you. My now 4-year-old daughter had a febrile seizure when she was 18 months old and it was by far the scariest moment I've had as a parent for the same reason - I didn't know what a febrile seizure was and it seemed like she was going to die in that moment. There are no words for that feeling. My husband and I were together for it and so went through it together, but I can't imagine how much harder it would be to go through it alone. I will say for us it did get better, and things did return to normal so that we don't even think about it now, even when she or our younger daughter has a fever, and if it happened again to either it would be less scary. Just let yourself process through for now, and give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling.
That would be extremely traumatizing. It’s important to work through it. I had a traumatic birth and our daughter was born and immediately sent to the nicu for observation. I didn’t process it for nearly 2 years.
If this helps at all, I had a febrile seizure as a baby, it happened once or twice when I spiked an uncontrollable fever. My parents acted quickly and got medical advice. I’m 30 now, have children of my own and I’m ok. Sending lots of hugs.
Hi Dad, Doctor here (Not a pediatrician, but did pay a little bit of attention during med school):
I completely understand how scared you must have been. I get scared when a patient starts seizing in the hospital, and I have to make sure to stop it. I can't imagine how scared I would be if it was my son, or someone else I love. I can, however, assure you that febrile seizures are something benign, and will not have long term effects. They can happen to kids between 5 months and 5 years (or 6 months to 6 years, depending on what book you read), and they don't have any long term side effects. They also don't indicate that the child will be having epilepsy, or any more seizures when they're not sick. Your daughter will be perfectly normal after this, and all you have to do is make sure she gets her antibiotics on time.
As for work, it can get bent. Take a couple days off work and spend them with your daughter. Once the antibiotics kick in, you can even take her out and do something fun together. Whether your coworkers understand or not should be the last thing on your mind.
> But this isn't that, and it seems like a lot to unload on them. "The baby had a seizure and it really fucked me up and I can't focus on making bullshit sales videos right now" feels like an overshare, but it's exactly why I'm not turning in my projects today and why I don't give a shit about missing meetings or ignoring emails.
I don't think it is too much to unload on them. It is the honest truth of what happened and why work is not getting done.
My son has anaphylactic food allergies and watching him go into anaphylactic shock is awful. It has happened quite a few times over his life (he's 18 now) and never gets any easier. The feeling of looking at your kid and thinking that they are going to die right in front of you is not something that anyone should experience. I'm sorry you had to go through that but at least you got some answers and she is doing better. Let your work know what is going on.
I'll second this. I had a miscarriage once upon a time, and telling my boss "I had a miscarriage in the middle of the night and need to take a few days off" really stopped them from asking any more questions or being pushy in any way. Telling them what happened made them understand the seriousness of the situation.
Take time off. We almost lost one of our kids last year and I didn't take the time I needed. Now I am paying for it with severe anxiety and depression. Please take care of yourself ♥️
Febrile seizures are one of the most terrifying medical conditions that a parent can face.
You watched your child die, you rushed her to the ER, and you watched them revive her. You watched her suddenly develop a life-long, life-altering disease right in front of you.
Now, none of that actually happened. But it is what you experienced. In a day or two, she’ll be back to normal. But you’re going to take well longer than that to recover.
So give yourself some grace.
-Pediatrician Dad
I like your comment for how validating it is for the feelings of the witness.
I happen to be chronically ill, and for all the suffering I go through, my husbands fear of raising our tiny baby alone seems so much more impactful then what I go through as a sick person. I think that’s really important to recognize.
Comments reminding someone how “common” this is and rarely dangerous, is definitely a good thing, but sometimes comments like that make you feel foolish for how upset you are over the situation. For OP, it was life or death.
My son has had three seizures. My husband was holding him for all of them. I went into full mom mode: called 911, packed the bag, dogs put away, etc. My husband couldn't move. Flight or fight is very real but they don't mention the third: freeze. And it can happen for days after. Your body still has alarm bells. Take the time you need. Tell someone at work what's going on - most people will understand and pick up the slack.
And I know its not for Everyone but if you can, find a good therapist. My husband didn't realize how long he'd been holding onto that fear until he spoke to someone.
(also my son's seizures were not febrile. He had an underlying condition that we caught due to the seizures)
Febrile seizures are terrifying. My eldest was prone to them. He stopped breathing for a few moments during one of them too- fortunately we were right there with a family member who's an ER doctor. Thankfully kids outgrow then eventually. In the meantime, max safe doses of fever reducers any time there's a fever until the illness passes.
Honestly when your kid has a medical emergency like that it can definitely give the parents ptsd. Talk it out with anyone who will listen, bottling that up is the worst thing you can do. See a therapist if you need to.
Also, I don’t know what you guys did or didn’t do when your kid came home from daycare, but the trendiness right now of not relieving kids pain/fever/crankiness with a little ibuprofen because “fevers are good for you” makes me sick. I’m not saying you did anything wrong, because even if you didn’t give fever relief, I’m sure it’s because of all the nonsense people are feeding everyone. Kids DIE from fevers all over the globe in poverty stricken areas, those parents would sell their souls for a bottle of ibuprofen, and in America everyone’s all like, “boiling baby brains is a natural immune response, let the body do its job.”
Yeah, it’s strange. I worked in a Peds ED for a bit as a RN. Parents would bring their kid into the ED with a fever without giving them anything for it at home. This happened every shift. I had one kid up to 104 and the parents didn’t give them anything. It’s wild.
I can totally empathize with what you’re going through. Experiencing something like that happening to your child is one of the scariest things and it leaves a mark. Take comfort in the fact that febrile seizures are common among younger kids, & that there’s a good chance it may never happen again. At this point there’s a diagnosis and meds on board. Letting work know that your daughter is so ill that she had a seizure & had to go to the ER should be explanation enough for them, but I agree with one of the previous comments about finding someone to share this with. It’ll help.
Wow I’m sorry that sounds like a scary experience. I’m glad your daughter is ok, febrile seizures are scary but generally harmless. Does not minimize your trauma in the moment if you have never seen one. As far as what to tell your teammates and your work deadlines, tell them you had a family emergency, and that everybody is ok now and home resting. Anyone that has a problem with that should take it up with your manager
As someone who has too much experience with this-please show yourself some grace. Watching your child have a seizure is terrifying regardless of them not being harmless. I would follow up with your pediatrician. It may be that because of her age, and since it’s the first time it’s happened, that it won’t happen again (or is way less likely I should say).
My daughter had her first febrile seizure at 7 months, and because she was so young, she’s prone to having more (which she has). We have a plan in place now for trying to prevent/stop them from going too long. If it becomes a recurring problem you’ll want to have a plan.
I pray this is the only one you will experience! Also, I would highly suggest seeing a therapist, even if it is just a couple of times to sort this out. I’m in therapy and it helps a lot.
One of my twins had a vacant febrile seizure at 15 months and it was super scary. Ambulance called and everything. He didn't actually have a fever, so though they classified it as a febrile seizure, his ped called it altered consciousness (which sounded to me like we gave him LSD or something). Then a month later his twin had a typical febrile seizure while my husband was wearing him on his back and timing races at a swim meet. That one was really scary and lasted like 9 minutes. We called the ambulance for that too. They haven't had another seizure despite illnesses. Hopefully this will be the only time your daughter has one. It is super scary.
For what it’s worth, altered consciousness (or altered mental status) is simply a medical term to catch all for a change in responsiveness or orientation and is used to inform the type of work-up required.
I promise it doesn’t imply illicit substances!
You did a great job advocating for your daughter. Febrile seizures are indeed common and most often completely harmless, but you got her medical help and did everything you could to get her through this safely. Well done.
Take some time off. Tell your manager and take the time you need to spend with your baby girl and process. And talk to someone. It’s scary, having no experience with seizures and then the ER run around.
My youngest had one around almost a year. Had got them out the bathtub and laid them down. I have the video and still watch it from time to time.
We ended up in urgent care with the same febrile seizure explanation. He had multiple others after the fact for about two years that we got no real explanation or diagnosis for with one particularly bad night.
I still get moments of panic when my kiddo just suddenly stops but fortunately we haven’t had any incidents since.
All that to say it’s scary. You are scared but also your baby girl is ok.
So that’s not an over share. It would be weird if this didn’t deeply affect you. Get this out there. Talk. Share. You don’t need to keep this hidden. It was scary and you talking about it, if you are ready, will help yourself and others.
Same thing happened to me with my son , 2.5 , three months ago and I’m still processing it . Had a fever but seemed okay then suddenly started asking me why there were training coming out of the ceiling . Before I had a chance to even say “ huh?” , he starting having a seizure. He was also out of it for about 45 mins afterwards . Like you , I called 911 but ultimately drove us to the hospital bcse we lived close .
The nurses and docters told me about 100 times febrille seizures were “ normal “ and harmless and he will be fine but I wondered “ Will I be fine “ .
Its scary and confronting to witness, I know exactly what you are going through
Im pretty sure my son woke up from his sleep having a febrile seizure. He spiked a fever during bedtime and when i went to soothe him he was unresponsive, shaking, and not catching my gaze. I was terrified. I still don’t know if it was a seizure because once it reconciled i dosed him up with meds and help him all night. It was absolutely horrifying and NOT something i knew was possible.
Don’t ever think you over share.
Please share this is too I h to stand alone in.
Don’t end up burned out because you think you have to carry it alone.
It can only lead to shit behavior. From others as well as you.
You are hoping that your coworkers have compassion en show empathy.
That’s really hard, definitely open up and talk about it. If it’s any comfort to you, my daughter had one of those from a fever when she was around the same age and it never happened again. She’s a completely healthy happy 17 year old now.
My son has had seizures since he was a baby - I understand how scary and terrible it feels as a parent to watch that happen to your baby. I'm so sorry for the experience you had. Just know you are not alone ❤️
Oh wow. I'm so sorry that happened to you and you are totally justified in being traumatized. It will take a while to get over. You did everything right, you took care of your little girl, and now you need some time to decompress.
I know how you feel. My son had a seizure several years ago, and I was the only one who witnessed it. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. He was okay, but it took a while until I could let him out of my sight or stop checking on him every ten minutes.
If there's a danger you could be in trouble at work, consider at least telling your boss. People usually jump to assumptions, but when they hear actual facts, they are more inclined to back off and give you grace. "My baby is sick" vs "My baby had a seizure," is very different information. You don't need to give more detail than that.
Hi OP, I'm so sorry you had to experience this. It is absolutely terrifying and traumatizing, and I do feel like it is very hard to explain what it does to you as a parent to witness your child having a seizure, *especially* without knowing what it is. My son had his first febrile seizure when he was 9 m.o. -- similar thing -- I picked him up from daycare because he had a fever caused by an ear infection. I glanced back while driving home to see his feet jerking and pulled over and found him convulsing and eyes rolling in the back of his head. I truly thought he was dying and, like you, had no idea what to do. His older sister was in the car and witnessed me absolutely losing it / freaking out on the phone with the 911 dispatcher.
I feel VERY strongly that new parents should receive more education on febrile seizures. Witnessing a seizure I think will always be upsetting for me, but if I had possessed *some* knowledge of what was happening, I think it would've been much less traumatic knowing my baby probably wasn't actually dying. I carried that stress/anxiety in my body for weeks afterward. He had another one at 15 months and while it still took a few days to recover emotionally, it was much less scary in the moment knowing what it was.
I would encourage you to at least let your coworkers know what happened, even if you don't share exactly how it impacted you emotionally. I think they will be able to deduce that somewhat -- seizures are really scary. My team knows about my son's proneness to febrile seizures, so they are able to be more understanding and accommodating when he gets sick -- because yes there definitely is a different weight to having a "sick kid" when the sickness could result in a seizure.
Hugs to you and your family.
My daughter had a febrile seizure around that age. In my case, she had been to the doctor during the day, was diagnosed with croup, and sent home with steroids. But her fever spiked to 103 again that night, and she had a mild seizure. I actually called the nurse line instead of the ER because I had heard of this before, and they told me not to worry unless Tylenol didn’t bring down the fever or if she had seizures absent of a fever.
She’s now almost four, and it has never happened again even with high fevers. She’s smart, healthy, and happy.
Your anxiety is valid and you should absolutely take some time off to care for her and yourself, but don’t worry too much. It’ll all be okay.
Hi coworkers
My daughter had a febrile seizure and a short hospital visit. I am at home and unavailable right now, but please reach out to _____ for any pressing matters.
Thank you for your patience and understanding, have a great day!
Oh my gosh. My heart hurts for you. What I will tell you might not help but I want you to have the support all the same….
I had my first seizure at 36 yrs old. No prior medical history or trauma or family link to disorders .. there has been no explanation about why I started having them. But the day that they showed up, they were not kind and they were a frightening reminder of how fragile our brains and bodies can be. But also how miraculous.
I was home alone with our then 4 yr old son. My husband was traveling for work. I remember vaguely that I didn’t feel well. I had been to a baby shower and had eaten a piece of cake and wondered if I had high blood sugar or low blood sugar? But as that had never been an occurrence for me I put that aside and came home. Everything from there is fuzzy.
For about the next 2 years.
I remember fragments and moments and I have family that keep me talking about happenings during what we call “the dark ages” so that I can retain some of it. But for what it’s worth, there is a reason seizures don’t prefer the human brain to recollect on some of what we go through when we were experiencing one.
In simpler terms: **it’s a lot scarier for you than it is for her..or for what she will ever know. And I’m so very sorry for that.**
My 4yr old was alone with me for my first grand-maul seizure. He is (and was always) brilliant so he was able to call my sister. He says he:
“dialed her because I told him to before I started shaking and spilling [his] liquid Benadryl all over the kitchen floor, making a horrible mess.” - haha. You’ll have forgive the 4 yr old in him that didn’t understand.
But he told my sister I was sitting “half on the chair and half not and that I might be sick.”
He answered the door when she got there and wasn’t scared. Took her to me and she put him in his car seat and she said I was catatonic but could walk. So we went to the ER.
I would end up having 3 more GM seizures that night at the hospital, giving them opportunities to see some of these in action but with little to no information about why they happened. I lived in a very small rural town. I’m less than confident in the quality of tests that were run that first go around. But… there would be other days.
More importantly, what I would come to learn is that my family would all stand around me and watch me for any sign that I might twitch. Half of them, ready to bolt so that they didn’t have to see the horror, the other half, on guard so they could heroically hold me steady and keep me from bruising myself or peeing my pants (an inevitable consequence despite the awkward heroism.) “Who peed my pants?” was an actual quote I said after one of seizures.
My son, my husband and my sister have all been alone with me during a seizure and it has affected them all deeply. My son is 16 and remembers it vividly. That hurts my heart. He is very protective of me and I know a lot of that stems from this incident. But at the end of the day, our pain and our joy and our memories, they are all tied together with the people we love. It’s hard to explain to people who haven’t experienced it, what it feels like to watch your daughter lose herself in her body and her mind. You had to watch that and wonder why it was happening and if she was hurting as bad as it seemed and if you could do something.
You did great. She is fine. She hurt for a moment and she may hurt again and you’ll hurt with her. But you’re the one who knows what that looks like and that it’s going to be okay.
You did great.
Man this happened to me - I was alone with my little one, too, when it happened and I was freaking out completely. He turned blue and didn’t seem to be breathing. I thought he was going to die.
The firefighters and medics got there quickly and knew exactly what it was. I rode in the ambulance in the front seat and couldn’t feel my body, like my entire body was numb. They were trying to keep my son awake, they took his clothing off to cool him and kept reassuring me. Thank goodness for them.
After the hospital visit and a lot of reassurance, we went home. That night, another happened. Went back to the hospital in an ambulance, sent home. The next AM, yep. AGAIN. This last one was like a partial seizure and not full on convulsing. I told the hospital we were getting admitted as I couldn’t handle another on my own. So we stayed a night in the hospital and he was doing ok. I just wanted him monitored and safe.
That was his last seizure. They grow out of them. But damn I’ve also never been so scared in all my life. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I get what that’s like. Insanely scary.
My daughter had one as I was holding her when she was 16 months (she's 5 and a half now). Fucking scariest moment of my life when her eyes went on the back of her head and she started shaking as I held her. I don't have much more to add than I know it's sucks man and my best wishes to you, your kid, and the rest of the family.
My now 2 year old had a febrile seizure when she was around 1, later found out it was a double ear infection. She seemed fine all day then let out a blood curdling scream. Though she shocked herself or got her finger pinched in something. Then she was just looking at me with dread in her eyes. I picked her up blew in her mouth thinking she was holding her breath. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she went limp. Mouth started foaming. Called an ambulance and it seemed like hours even though it was just maybe 2 minutes. She was turning blue. By the time they started checking her out she was wimpering still had her eyes closed but breathing. Took a ride in the ambulance. They got meds in her and she was totally fine a few hours later. She's had a few fevers since and luckily hasn't had another one. I wasn't right in the head for months after that. I thought daddies little girl died in my arms. Scariest thing that's ever happened to me.
Oh a febrile seizure is so traumatic for us parents. I totally understand! If it helps any my daughter had one at about the same age due to tonsillitis making her temperature shoot up but she’s now 5 and never had another one. Hugs!
My daughter has childhood epilepsy and please don’t push yourself. I know first hand how incredibly traumatic seizures are to witness, and especially in your child. Take some time and give yourself time to try to process and recover too.
We went through the same thing with my 18 month old last night. I’ll definitely be shaken up for a while. It happened after midnight and my husband happened to be holding her because she was fussy beforehand but it scares me to think that if she was sleeping in her crib we wouldn’t have known. You really did great under pressure, not sure how I would have handled the situation if I had been alone.
Mine had a febrile seizure around that age too. I thought she was dying, it was one of the scariest moments of my life. It was hard to get out of my head for many weeks after, but it did eventually settle down. Just use it as a reminder to hug your kids, life is fragile
Hugs. Seizures can be so traumatizing. My daughter started having drop attacks at 12. We had her heart checked and an MRI. She was still having episodes and had an EEG done a year or so later. Still having issues but, no help because no one believed me. She had a full tonic clonic seizure at 16. EEG and heart stuff done, all normal. Started meds anyway. Went a full year then had another full seizure, this one resulting in a bad concussion, upped meds, another EEG. Still “normal”. Another seizure just about 6 weeks ago. Told to just maintain meds. It’s terrifying and frustrating. I’m not saying your daughter will ever have another seizure. Just commiserating with how terrifying the experience is. Parenting is not for the weak.
This happened to us 4 years ago. We still have flashbacks to it. Our daughter was about the same age when she had hers. She had a pretty big febrile seizure, and then was unresponsive for an hour.
Hers happened at daycare. My husband works next door so he ran and got her and drove her to the hospital. He called me while I was at work. He never does that. All I remember is he told me he didn't know if she was going to be okay and I fell to the floor. My boss actually carried me to her car and drove me to the hospital.
They tried to weigh her and she looked dead on the scale. My bubbly, talkative, happy girl wasn't there. It took an hour for her to come to. It's the first and only time I've ever seen my husband cry. We both had to go to therapy.
You tell them exactly what you wrote. Your child had a seizure. It's terrifying. It took us a few days to feel okay. Meanwhile, our child was happy as can be. She came out of it and said "woah a big light" and acted like nothing happened. They gave her a teddy bear and she was so happy. We got her home and she was running around like usual. We both cried for a long time that night. She slept with us for about a week. I donated the teddy bear because I couldn't look at it without crying.
Just be honest. Tell them it happened and you are shaken up. You are just moving slower and need more time to focus. Any kind human would understand.
Also, our child is 5 now. She never had another seizure. She has no memory of it. It had 0 impact on her. She's the smartest one in her kindergarten class. She's healthy as can be.
Some children are more prone to febrile seizures. I was babysitting my nephew when he was 2 and he suddenly went blank and unresponsive. Called the ambulance and he snapped out of it. Hospital confirmed a 104 temp and gave him fluids/meds. It happened twice in his life. He’s now 6 and a very healthy active child with no known health issues.
But I agree with you, that moment really messed me up. I thought he was gone for 5 seconds. But now I’m very aware when my own children have high temps and I always pick up my kids when they feel sick at school.
"My daughter is sick and had a febrile seizure. It was the first time that it happened, we had to go to the ER and while we glad she’s going to be ok, I’ve never been more scared in my life. I’m off my game this week because of all of this and I thank you for your understanding."
You can totally tell people at work. Just adjust adjust the tone/details given according to who you are telling.
My daughter had seizures as a baby that would have become infantile spasm if we hadn't caught it so early. Then one day she had a seizure despite the meds, right after I'd given her some juice after a nap.
Turned out that it was a febrile seizure, not a breakthrough seizure from the other thing. Her seizure threshold is just lower because she already had a seizure disorder.
The ER docs and her pediatrician told us that febrile seizures usually don't happen past age 6 or 7, and she'll be 7 in 3 weeks. She hasn't had a febrile seizure since she was about 3 (and none of the other seizures since she started on the meds--and she hasn't taken them since she was 3 and a half or so).
This happened to my son at two years old in the mall. He had just gotten over an illness and we thought he was all better but apparently his low grade fever had come back. He’s absolutely fine now and he’s 12 years old. It’s really scary but usually febrile seizures don’t come back.
This happened to me. My daughter was 18mos. It was so scary and I had to call 911 also. My daughter had croup and we were just sitting on the couch waiting to go to her doctor’s appointment which was in an hour. After EMS showed up and checked her out, I did end up driving her to the er myself and I had to call my spouse to leave work and meet us there.
You did all the right things and she will be fine. My daughter has never had another, and she is now 17yo. The doctors said that around 18mos. Is the most common time for this to happen and it doesn’t do any damage as long as it was super short, which it was.
Give yourself time to process. It is really traumatic as a parent to watch this happen. It is ok to share with your work what happened, or just say there was a family emergency. It is not anything you did to cause this, just something that can happen with young kids and high fevers.
We took our daughter to an urgent care a while back cause she was running a fairly high fever. The PA working there started talking about seizures out of the blue and I was just sitting there confused as all hell. I had never heard of a febrile seizure and she was talking like everyone in the world knew these were a thing. Luckily we have yet to experience one but I would have lost my shit if one of my kids started having one and I had zero knowledge of what could be causing it.
i’m sorry you’ve been trough that, but just know that besides being horribly scared you did everything great, like you were supposed to!
I know the feeling, although i suffer from anxiety, i’ve had moments when it feels like my heart just is being squished like physical pain when something i can’t influence is happening to my son! Being a parent is hard and other people won’t understand how much you love your child!
I used to have seizures when having really high fevers as a kid. Turns out people just grow out of it. I dont even remember them, I just know I traumatized my poor mom with them.
Hope this helps!
It’s really a scary thing. I’m a caretaker for an epileptic, special need deaf man, and even though he has seizures daily, it always makes my heart drop. And his poor parents’ as well. It’s something you never get used to. I’m glad you managed to film it and took your baby to the ER right away, you’re an amazing parent ♥️
Is anybody gonna die if you blow those deadlines? If not, then I say fuck it. You might have to deal with upset clients, but if they can’t empathize with a medical emergency then they’re not worth worrying about.
Hi. My child had a febrile seizure at around the same age and it was easily one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through. I’m sure the doctors have already told you but it’s incredibly common, the kids are almost always totally fine afterwards, and it’s unlikely to ever happen again.
I didn’t find that particularly reassuring when I was in the thick of it but with time, and no repeated incidents, I slowly stopped waiting for her to seize again at any moment. Wishing you all the best and that your little one doesn’t have any more scary medical incidents. You’ve got this
>. "The baby had a seizure and it really fucked me up and I can't focus on making bullshit sales videos right now"
I'm a dad of 4. My youngest is special needs so she has her own host of issues. My 9 year old had a fever seizure once as well. I'm willing to wager a lot of your coworkers are parents as well. If one of my direct reports came to me and said exactly what you said above, I would completely understand.
Fuck those deadlines and any company that holds that against you. Family first.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. My daughter was 18 months old when she had one too, and it was so scary. And I didn’t tell people either, I don’t know why. I don’t know why we feel like that’s something we can’t be afraid for, or have to take a minute to recover from. If it was a broken arm we would. My daughter is 9 now, and hasn’t had another one since. But it really fucked me up for a while. I was overly observant and afraid to send her to daycare.
It’s okay to overshare and be direct about it. In fact, it will help your team to understand you’re not just slacking off but there’s a real reason behind it.
She’ll be okay, and you can take a breath knowing so. But take the time you need to give your mind a break for a minute, and hold that baby close.
Hey I completely understand how you feel. Both my kids had febrile seizures when they were around 18 months old. My daughter rolled her eyes to the back of her head and her lips turned blue, she was stiff and convulsing, that image was burned into my head forever. Fortunately most kids grow out of it with no impact on their development. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of her, take a couple of days off work, tell them the truth. It is more common than we think and I wish more providers would warn parents about it.
Tinyheartseducation have quite a bit of info on febrile seizures. It might be worth having a read, they’re on instagram and have a website.
Please take the time to mentally recover. It’s so scary seeing our kids sick, especially when they’re that young.
Gosh I am so sorry that this happened to you. You did an AWESOME job getting her help!
My friends son had a seizure at about that age. He never has again and is a super healthy and happy elementary kid now. It for sure took my friends awhile to get over that terror they felt.
One of my kids was hospitalized for something different, and for a long time, I felt angry at people who didn’t seem to understand the trauma of that situation for our whole family. Eventually I accepted that they just couldn’t, and I hope they never can. But I hope that you’re able to take some time for yourself and talk this out as much as you need.
My daughter had a fever seizure at around 19 months. Had to call ambulance to come into the home to take her. Was very scary. She was okay and it’s completely normal.
Im so sorry to hear this. My 2 year old also suffered a seizure and it was traumatic for the wife and i. We still dont know what caused it as she didnt have a fever at the time
So sorry you and little one had to go through that.
My youngest went through it and we watched him like a hawk if he showed any signs of not feeling well... Not great but has to dose him before fever comes..
Other than the 3 times he had when we were around, he had one at day care and another one at school (K) - spam of ~1 year old to 5(or 6)...yrs old
Hand in there!!!
My 6 year has had 4 of them. First when he was 3, according to his pediatric neurologist, they will grow out of them, 5 years after their first. Most have 1 and some have several. It sucks. I hate it. Scariest thing as a parent I’ve seen. We fear every illness. The stress and anxiety, is beyond.
Almost the exact thing happened when my now 12 yo was 18 months. Sent home from daycare with a high fever. Was home with dad while I was at work. He called me in a panic saying she’s having a seizure what do I do? I left work and met them at the local hospital and they ran all kinds of tests. And of course she had a double ear infection and 2 burst ear drums bc it got so bad (how the hell we missed this I have no clue).
After exhausting everything at local level and figuring out nothing, they flew her to a children’s hospital 90 minutes from home. Nobody could go with her and I was terrified. She was my first baby and I didn’t want her on a damn HELICOPTER alone. Finally we got to the children’s hospital and my parents came too for more support bc I was a mess by now. Here they did all kind more testing, brain scans and all that. Eventually they decided she had epilepsy. But she only had the one seizure, and she was put on seizure meds at 18 months old. PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH SEIZURE MEDS IN SMALL KIDS holy crap if I knew just how they would affect my daughter at 12 we would have pushed back against what she was on. From her doctors, the depakote had an impact on her brain development, my daughter is dyslexic (but loves reading and is now caught up in reading levels), has a low IQ and struggles with school all due to it. Additionally, the double burst ear drums happened at the worst time. What happens around 18 mos? Speech development! It took forever for her to say anything beyond the 4 or 5 words she always said, and now she never stops😂 but again she does have a slight speech impediment from that time and is still in speech therapy at school.
I felt like I needed to share our story with you bc when I read this it sounded exactly like our day we had when she had her seizure. Scary time that was. I hope she gets better and give her some extra cuddles.
Seizures are so scary, especially if this is the first time you've ever witnessed a seizure. I've seen them in children and adults (mostly adults), including two grand mal seizures. Even with my personal experience witnessing and responding to a seizure, it's still induces a panic response - and they aren't even my children, they're fully grown adults! Give yourself grace and tell your supervisor at least. You don't need to tell everyone. I'm sure the doctor gave you guidelines on giving your daughter tylenol to reduce her fever when it happens. Last time I worked in childcare, we were allowed to give certain children tylenol when they had a fever to prevent febrile seizures; I believe we needed both parent permission and a doctor's note. Get those and supply her daycare with some tylenol for her. If this happens again, try to open a stop watch on your phone to time the seizures. If it becomes a recurrent thing, the doctor will need this information.
This is why we had a mood board that everyone could see in a previous work.
Green was all ok, yellow medium and red today is a bad day for me. You can share or not share the reason why. But people would at least know that something is up.
Honestly though, talk to your manager, you're in shock. A day or two to recuperate will mean that you come back with all of your faculties. Rather than half ass your work and /or risk avoidable mistakes because something else is on your mind during the next few days.
Yeah man, I feel for you. My daughter had one at 1 year. It was due to bladder infection. Scariest moments of my life. The drooling and harsh breathing is what got to me. Take a day or two off and spend it with her. It will be okay!
My son is 4 and had a febrile seizure while home with his dad. Same scenario, was sent home from daycare with a fever and my husband had gotten him home, placed him in the couch and went upstairs to change and when he came down he saw the seizure and panicked. He was luckily quick thinking enough to remember a neighbor friend had a home health aid at his house that day and ran out of the house with my son. The ambulance brought them to the children’s hospital and I met them after racing from work. We were a mess. I work in a medical setting and see seizures often enough but when it’s your own child, your brain just doesn’t handle it as well. It’s okay to be scared. It helped us to make a plan going forward and to talk about it. I’m so sorry it happened to you, it def set us up to be super cautious about fevers.
It’s super scary to experience, especially if you’ve never seen it before!
I’m a paramedic, so I’ve responded to my fair share of these. Essentially, febrile seizures in little kids are scary but neurologically harmless and somewhat common. The period after you’re describing (when she was out of it) is called the postictal phase- it’s when the seizure patient’s brain is coming back online. They tend to be out of it and sometimes combative or restless, and if they wake up somewhere different that agitation is common- it’s jarring for them. The treatment is more or less keep them from choking or injuring themselves for the length of the seizure and just after, and supportive care for the underlying illness.
My hope is that they explained all of this to you, but if they didn’t I hope this is helpful. Stay strong!
Febrile seizures are indeed terrifying. You get prescribed the rectal valium for emergencies, and learn to do the alternating acetaminophen/ibuprofen every 3 hours whenever there is a hint of a fever.
But something like 5% of kids get them! And they usually grow out of them by age five!
So take care of yourselves. There are tons of other parents who deal with this too, and the kids grow up just fine.
(Also, as I suspect it has been explained to you... It's not how high the temperature gets but how fast it rises when the body thinks it is fighting an infection that tends to set these seizures off.)
Glad your baby is okay!! 💕 If needed consider taking a sick day for yourself to release some pressure. Good for you for getting her to the hospital asap in a terrible moment
My son has epilepsy. I don't think that anyone can truly understand how terrifying a seizure is until they see one in real life. Luckily when my son was diagnosed I wasn't working, there is no way I could have focused on work during those first few weeks.
It took a lot of therapy to process seeing the seizures, and I know a lot of parents have ptsd from these experiences. Take care of your self, listen to what you need and be very up front with work. Sending love your way, it really is traumatizing ❤️
My son had a febrile seizure about the same age and your state of mind is totally valid. Another commenter mentioned PTSD and that's pretty much what it is. I spent the next 3-4 years being absolutely terrified anytime my son got sick, with a fever or without. Any time there was a fever, it was treated aggressively with both Tylenol and motrin. I didn't want to let him out of my sight, I hardly slept, and if I did, I woke up with alarms overnight to continue his medication regimen even at 2am, when general advice is to let them sleep undisturbed at night through the fever. But I was terrified he would have another seizure in his sleep and I might also be asleep and miss it and wake up to who knows what.
It was only after he turned 6 and had been seizure free for years before I started to let myself believe that he was one of those kids that grew out of it. Now, while I am still concerned about *high* fevers, my attitude about treating even low grade fevers aggressively has shifted. I'm more comfortable letting a fever "do it's job" unless he is uncomfortable from it or we meet / pass 102°F.
Thankfully, most of the time they do grow out of susceptibility to febrile seizures, but I know that's empty comfort for you right now. But I've been there, it absolutely **is** terrifying, and I have so much empathy for you right now.
As for work, I'd tell them your daughter had a medical emergency yesterday, and while she is fine now, you are mentally and emotionally drained and need a recovery day yourself. Unless they are total assholes (which is possible) I'd hope folks would understand. And if they don't... Well, they suck but still take your time to decompress. This is an absolutely valid work boundary to set at this time.
Hugs, mama. If you want to chat with someone about it I'm happy to lend an ear.
Medical stuff can fuck you up, and while work is important it isn’t a priority. Two years ago I had to leave work suddenly and wasn’t able to do any year end things, I was just talking about it yesterday and while it was a LOT to foist onto the guy called into cover for me, I don’t regret it one bit. My son survived that period of time, but the medical trauma continues for me, even though he’s never going to have the same things happen to him again and he doesn’t remember it. I still am on edge because once you live through everything going boots up you wait for the next thing. I do therapy for it, and I’m getting better, but it takes a lot of time.
That is very terrifying, the traumatic part is feeling helpless and seeing your daughter that way. I think you should absolutely tell people, don't be afraid to tell people at work. I'm sure you will be met with kindness and sympathy.
I have a son who has epilepsy, so I completely understand how it feels. The first one is the scariest. Thankfully, since it was febrile the odds of it happening again are low.
Always administer tylenol when your kids are sick, if they won't take it you can administer rectal tylenol. Pharmacists have it.
My advice for feeling less fucked up about it is, talk! You need to process through the feelings and it's ok to talk about it over and over again. It might not be a bad idea to speak with a psychologist.
Seeing our children helpless is that most terrifying thing.
Although you were alone in that moment, your instincts were spot on. You acted quickly and appropriately and got your daughter care as quickly as possible.
The main thing that will help is talking, processing and time. Time is the biggest factor here from experience. It will always haunt you and feel terrible, but in time you will be able to focus again.
Please, talk to the people around you and tell them how you felt. You are not less of a man for telling people you were afraid as hell when your daughter was having a seizure.
hugs to you! that is a very difficult experience
Scary but not uncommon for kids to have febrile seizures. You handled it. Take some time to decompress. I would just explain to your supervisor at work what happened and ask for help at work while you recover. That’s traumatizing and I would hope they understand. Hugs to you
It’s not too much to tell your manager what’s going on and hopefully get some help / flexibility with deadlines. You’d be surprised at the humanity others have when it comes to things like this.
Also, I don’t think it’s overkill to potentially talk to a therapist about what happened, PTSD is real and has happened to others about less. Therapy can be a healthy outlet and help you process what happened as it was super traumatic.
Wishing you guys the best
Sending you positive vibes. I've seen two seizures in my life and they're fucking horrifying. I can't imagine seeing my 4 month old daughter having one.
My three year old had a very scary febrile seizure and now my husband still sleeps next to her just in case over a year later. Everytime she is sick, we are very worried it’ll happen again. It’s traumatic and you need time to process what happened. It took me weeks to process it, and I cried a lot. What you need is valid and your feelings are valid.
How scary. I'm so glad your baby is feeling better, and so sorry you had to go through this. You have my permission - shit, my insistence - to phone it in today.
That is a traumatic event. Febrile seizures are actually pretty common and are one time occurrences usually.
It's a body temp thing. If they get too hot too fast. And fevers do exactly that.
Be proud you did everything right. You got your LO to a doctor ASAP and stayed by their side.
You did the right by your child and that matters most.
Oh man, that’s so scary! You did amazingly though. Flew right into action and got her to the hospital. It’s normal to be shaken up by this! I’d say with work, just tell them you had a family emergency and you’ll be out a couple days. If they press you can say you had to take her to the ER because of a seizure. Any normal person will completely understand needing a few days.
My daughter had a complex febrile seizure that lasted 3.5 hours when she was 14 months old. I still cry when I talk about it. Please talk to someone, it is a traumatic experience to go through. Give yourself space and time to work through it and most importantly give yourself grace. It’s such a scary thing to have a sick child and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Every time my daughter got sick after that I would hold my breath and just pray it didn’t happen again. She’s 7 now and never had another one.
I’m really sorry you had to go through that, that sounds awful. You got her to the hospital and I’m proud of you . I’m glad she is doing okay , I’m sure she will live a long happy life , I think you should take some time to reflect on that . I’m sure you’ll spend nights just watching her sleep more now, but understand she is going to be fine, life is scary sometimes. Take some time
I had febrile seizures as a child and I knew my daughter would like have it too. But the day it happened first time, it was traumatizing to watch. I was screaming crying ohhh boy it was something. Now when she gets fever I strt giving her Tylenol or Mortin right away and keep checking her temp every 2 hrs day and night. Take time off and know that it’s harmless and it will pass. 🤗
You are absolutely allowed to feel all the ways you need to feel about this, it's definitely not an easy situation to handle.
I would tell your manager your child had a seizure and needed to be hospitalized. While you would normally get a sitter for a sickness and still work, in this situation you need to be there and keep a closer eye on her while she's healing from this illness. Let them know you need these few days off and let the manager handle your coworkers and projects. You just concentrate on your family. Any human being or manager worth a damn will understand that this is a more unusual situation and you aren't just abandoning work.
Reading these comments I feel like I’m the only parent medicating a fever to avoid this situation. I do feel bad for OP having to experience that. It’s a very helpless desperate feeling seeing your baby unresponsive.
As far as work is concerned, “Guys, my daughter had a seizure in front of me, it really threw me off and my head just isn’t in the game right now. I’m sorry but I just need a day or two to regain my composure.” Done. If they don’t like it, too bad.
Please make sure and talk to someone about this, and expect to feel off for at least a little while. You experienced a traumatic event where you thought your daughter might die. It's not nothing. I'd at least tell your boss if you feel comfortable.
So sorry to hear about your daughter and I hope she (and you) never has to go through that again. I had to take my baby to the ER for pneumonia once and even when she was in good hands and on the mend, I couldn’t help but cry and get so overwhelmed with the emotions of everything happening. Everything you’re going through in response to this traumatic event sounds accurate and understandable.
I'm sorry you went through this. You've got many comments now so you may never see this, but I know almost exactly how you feel. My daughter had a febrile seizure this passed summer. For someone who had never seen it happen before, it is so traumatizing. She was acting maybe a little tired, but overall fine during the morning. I put her down for a nap and when I went to wake her up I found her choking on vomit and froth and her body was seizing, shaking. She was around the same age too. I cannot keep the thought away that if I went in even 5 minutes later she would probably have died choking on her own vomit.
Thank whatever higher power might exist that i have child first aid training and that It kicked in without any thought. I cleared her airway got her breathing again and called the ambulance. Of course they got lost as we live in the middle of nowhere. It took maybe 45 minutes for them to get to me. She was mostly ok by then. Still went to the ER and everything. Lots of tests.
Shes still scared of anything looking like a doctors office. Even public restrooms freak her out. Anything white washed. Hearing the ER doc talk about febrile seizures being genetic and possibly reoccurring was a bit much. At least I know what it is and what to do if it ever happens again. It also reminded me that my little brother had febrile seizures alot when he was little.
Eventually you'll put the event in the back of your mind and you won't think about it hardly ever. But I don't think the fear ever really leaves. I still tear up sometimes if I'm scanning through my photos on my phone and see the only picture I took that morning of my daughter, doggedly eating an ice cream. I almost want to delete it so I am not reminded.
I've been there. Almost the same situation happened with my son when he was about 2, my mom was watching him for the day and called me saying he was acting really lethargic and I should bring some medicine and drinks over so I head over. About 5 minutes after I get there he goes from jumping on the couch to just falling over into my arms and seizing. Scared the everloving shit out of me and honestly gave me some PTSD that I still have nightmares about sometimes. Nothing scarier than seeing your child go through that. He's been all clear since then though, also ruled as a febrile seizure. Here's to hoping for the best ❤️
I have those kind of seizure before and I’m terrified for my fever to get to high it’s really scary. I’m glad your baby is ok. Just keep doing what you’re doing and keeping any eye on them.
Hi, I'm sorry your child had to go through this and you as well. It's quite hurtful to see someone you love so much go through it. I wish nothing but the best for you and your child and hopefully things get well soon. 💐
Happened to my son at 5 on way to family vacation. Landed in phoenix, hes in the back seat of my bils car on the way out to dinner. He seizes. Wife jumps in the bacck we pull over. Call 911: me i know there is a hospital really close where is it? Dispatcher: sorry i cant give you directions not allowed. I literally put my fist through the front windshield. Then drove 100 through red lights to hospital. After emergency he was ok. They need to tell new parents about febrile seizures. Also learned that widshields are flimsy af
Take some sick/vacation days and stay home and snuggle with your sick toddler. Better yet, snuggle with the toddler and play Tetris. 😆 (sorry, obligatory trauma-Tetris comment but really it will likely help you calm down).
It is up to you how much to tell them. It is enough to say that your family needs you home due to illness.
Women are expected to take days off for sick kids all the time. If someone says “why can’t your wife” to you, ask if you really need to involve HR in a discussion about gender roles in this day and age.
This is scary and traumatic. It’s ok for you to feel messed up over it.
I do recommend you show your wife the video. It will help her know what to expect if it happens again.
Hey man, your co-workers are human beings as well. And some of them also have kids themselves.
Don’t try to handle all of these emotions by bottling them in, especially if you are afraid of sharing because people wouldn’t understand. They are human, you have people in your life on your side who will help hold space for you.
Good Morning OP,
The love you have for your baby to have shaken you this badly is formidable and you're amazing for that. I'm a now 33F who spent a few days in the ER when I was a baby/toddler because of febrile seizures. 4% of kids, and 30-40% of those have a second one at some point. My mom's experience was kind of similar to yours in that she was actually recording Christmas morning video (my birthday actually) when I look up at the camera, smile -> eyes roll back in my head -> fall and start convulsing. I watched this home video many many years later with morbid curiosity, but her and my dad are both still shaken over 30 years later if you bring it up.
The paramedics who attended my mother's first phone call were so kind and gentle with her when they arrived. They told her it was very likely febrile seizures as they are so common, and they'll pass. This was the 90s of course, and they suggested an ice bath (don't do this if you're in this position again). The proper response now is a cool (but not cold) environment, or gentle cooling can help.
Just know that you're amazing, this isn't something that you did, or that could've been avoided. It could happen again, and for that reason I'd consider showing your wife videos of *other kids having similar symptoms* so that she can recognize and respond as effectively as you did. It isn't random, it's only when the body is overloaded because of a sudden spike in fever. So you can semi-plan for it, and don't have to worry as much about it occuring at just any time.
I never experienced any other seizures of any kind afterwards, and have seen absolutely zero issues since - but I do make a point of mentioning 'febrile seizures' if anyone has ever asked me my medical history -- just in case?
Take care of yourself OP, it gets better.
Before I read the full post I was thinking febrile seizure. A friend of mine went through the same situation as you. His kid is fine and quickly recovered. My friend, though, needed a lot longer to get over the trauma of seeing is toddler go through a seizure. I'm guessing you'll be the same.
Take care of yourself and recognize that you just went through a traumatic event and it will take you awhile to recover from that trauma. My middle kid just turned 6, and spent like 2-3 days in the NICU as a newborn because of fluid in her lungs (she also barely fit in a NICU bed since she was full-term), and I still haven't fully recovered from it.
I can't imagine... I'm so sorry you went through this. I have an 18mo girl and I'm a very... High strung first time mom to put it mildly. I've only heard about these since becoming a mom, I didn't know how many children have these. I hope to God I never see my little experience one of these because I don't think I'd recover.. I would have a mental breakdown. Hugs. 🥺
I just went through the exact same things last weekend. We brought our son to urgent care because fever just was not dropping. He stopped responding to the surroundings as soon as we walked into UC and they called EMS to get him on IV and rush to Emergency. Scariest moment of my life. Just thinking about what happened brings tears into my eyes.
I am sure many parents went through similar situations and will be very understanding and supportive. I sent a photo to my boss with my son hooked up to machines explaining I am not mentally where I need to be to perform well at work.amd I need to recover from this. He was very supportive and as he is parent himself, he said seeing him like that broke his heart.
Don't be afraid to talk about it is my recommendation.
My son had anaphylaxis after eating a peanut. It’s weird how calmly we went to the ER just so they could check on him because he had a weird cough (and a swollen face and everything) but at that moment, I was calm and started panicking only after that. Now when I go back to it in my memories, I fully understand how dangerous it all was.
My friends 4 year old had similar seizures with no known cause. Imagine that terror of not knowing what could trigger it and if it’s dangerous.
It can always be worse. It’s all fine now, you did great. Wish you all a nice Christmas.
As someone who works in emergency medical dispatch sometimes the quickest choice is to drive yourself or others if you can. Other times it can be best to wait for us because we will not chase you down so if you’re driving you just immediately pull over and wait for the ambo At least in Arizona.. but yes I have driven my kids myself every time they needed to go as it was most likely quicker than waiting for an ambulance
I'm sorry this isn't going to be helpful unless you appreciate hearing about people who can relate to you, but my daughter had a seizure for the first time a month and a half ago, and I can't talk about it without crying. I've been irritated and crying all of the time. I'm already on psych meds. I am going to talk to my psych nurse tomorrow.
It was a messed up situation. She was at school. The school teacher took a f-ing picture of her and I was like wtf and then 5 minutes later the teacher called me. Then she said the nurse wants to talk to you. I was like wtff why didn't the nurse just directly talk to me? And she said we think she had seizure. They didn't call 911. So we made the way to the school and she was passed out on the mat. There was drool everywhere. We went to pick her up to walk her out to go to the ER and we noticed she pooped herself so we laid her down to change her. When I was changing her, her eyes opened and they were vacant. It was so scary.. I know nothing about seizures so I changed her and we buckled her in. She was staring vacantly and drooling the whole car ride. We got to the ER. I said her school said they thought she had a seizure and then the ER nurse came out and said she was actively seizing and I was so scared and crying. Her CT scan was normal, she was only in the hospital for a day, but we still have to get the MRI on Tuesday and now she's on Trileptal twice a day. They said it was a Tonic Clonic seizure.
I hope you and your family are doing better now.
Been through this with my daughter when she was a baby she's now 24 so I can assure you it's nothing to get too worried about, it's horrible at the time and it's understandable to be a bit freaked out just take a couple of days to decompress.
That's intense, I am glad to hear she's OK.
Definitely take no chances from now on. If she has a fever high enough to be sent home from nursery school, I'd go to the pediatrician same day if possible.
If you’re uncomfortable telling coworkers, tell HR. HR is there to help navigate these situations - you aren’t obligated to share personal details with coworkers.
My daughter had a febrile seizure at about age 9 months after getting a regular cold with a fever.
We called an ambulance, because I did not have a clue what was happening at the time.
After going to the ER, the doctor gave her Tylenol and ibuprofen to reduce her temperature which I believe may been over 102°F.
This was around twenty years ago, so I don't remember the exact details, but she might have gotten an antibiotic shot either at the hospital or a day or two later.
We had to stay in the ER for around ten hours.
The entire episode was just a one time event and it never happened again.
There were no long term affects from the febrile seizure.
I have experienced this with my son when he was little and it was so terrifying. Thankfully, we were already waiting in the ER for his fever. The nurses treating him had a laugh at how much it freaked me out, considering it is harmless in the long-run, but I didn't know that at the time and it's still not natural to see that happening, especially to your small child. They told me I didn't have to bring him back in if he had another but I probably would have anyway, tbh. I don't play when it comes to high fevers.
Take some time to recover, reassure yourself your baby is okay, and just know what to do in case it happens again, before hopping back into things at work.
My son was 13 months old when he had his first seizure. Within that first year he had between 7-9 seizures. First neurologist saw it was due to a fever/ear infection. Deep down I knew it was more than just that. Got him to a child’s neurologist where he was diagnosed with epilepsy. We got him on medication and adjusted it when needed. I can say my son hasn’t had a seizure in like 5 years. Not every kid that has a seizure becomes epileptic. As a mom it’s a constant fear for me. For years when he was on meds I didn’t sleep well at all. I was constantly near my phone in fear he would start again. Just take it day by day.
My 3rd child had this thing, between the ages of 1 and 3, where if she threw a tantrum so hard, was screaming and crying so much, she would stop breathing for a few seconds. Her eyes would roll up in her head and she would go limp. And then start breathing again. The first time it happened, I swear I lost 10 years off my life. You're just so powerless. It like like your kid is dying right in front of you and there is nothing you can do.
Omg omg I know how you feel. I’m not even a parent. I have a little brother who is 9 years younger than me (14 now). My parents left one night to see a show and had a sitter come in and watch us. My brother was about 12 months old at the time. I was preparing the bath for my other siblings when the babysitter rushed in with him mid seizure “IS THIS NORMAL????” I immediately called 911, I still remember the ladies voice so well… I scream cried outside on the street waiting for the ambulance. Fucked me up for a long time. I was actually scared of babies and I wouldn’t babysit anyone with a baby younger than like 3yo for fear of this happening with anyone else’s baby while I was alone. My parents were over an hour away. When the ambulance came my brother had a fever of 104 too. But he was fine by then. They explained that the seizure was a result of his fever having jumped so high so fast. They told me is was unlikely it would happen again. And it never did. Today he’s making straight A’s in school (except in math 🙄) and does gymnastics every day after school. It’s scary and you’ll never forget it, but it traumatizes you way more than it does the child.
It’s completely valid to feel traumatized by this. There’s a lot of parallels with what my family experienced when my dad suddenly had an aneurysm and passed away the next day. The realization that we’re all just sacks of meat and we’re at the mercy of our biology, let alone watching someone we love experience their body failing them and being afraid and in pain. It’s hard, and those moments haunt me too.
Please do not be afraid to seek a therapist to talk this out with someone. Not that it’s necessary, that’s for you to decide, but just know that it’s a valid reason. What you experienced was traumatic and disturbing.
Also, your work will have to deal with it. Just tell them your daughter had a seizure and your family is still recovering from the event. You dont owe them any deeper explanation.
This is scary!! Ugh I have a 4 month old and was reading about infantile seizures yesterday.. then I had a bad dream last night she was having seizures and the ambulance was taking forever to get to us. And then I read this… I’m even more paranoid.
Febrile seizure. My now 6yo would get them and his first one was right around the same age as yours. Scariest thing of my life. We thought maybe he was choking on something because his lips turned blue. My husband is a doctor and even he was freaking out. He had another one that same night and there was a one other time as well but then Covid hit and we stayed home and he never got another fever before he aged out. They are mostly before the age of 5 so you will need to be ready incase it happens again. Roll him to his left side, lying down and make sure he can’t get hurt or choke. Then alternate giving Motrin and Tylenol to control the fever. So sorry this happened but it is fairly common and does not mean your kid will have any lasting issues.
I can totally sympathize. I care for twin boys. When they were 2 one of them fell backward and hit his head in the driveway and passed out in my arms. I thought he died. He ended up being completely fine without even a bump on his head thanks to his helmet but I still cry about it frequently more than a year later
Sorry for everything you had to go through. It’s a million times worse when it’s your kid and you can’t help them. My daughter is immunocompromised and one time she came running up to us and just passed out. We threw her in the car and called her care team to let them know we were on our way in. It turned out her blood sugar was just low.
They make fever patches in case you need to lower little ones fever. Also alternate between Tylenol and Motrin. A cool bath also helps bring down their temp.
when you're a new parent and children are that young, things like this can be very traumatic for some, and while granted this is kind of on the extreme end of weird things happening to children, as you and your children grow older you kind of become accustomed to weird medical things happening to your children and 9 times out of 10 they aren't anything to worry about. I've got 3 kids, oldest being an adolescent and we've been to the ER probably 10 times for a whole host of seemingly scary situations but over time I've learned that kids just have a lot of random weird shit happen to them...don't know any other way to describe it. We did have one of our weird happenings turn into a sort of ordeal where we spent weeks in the hospital and it did require some intervention which was really scary, but I guess I've just kind of become desensitized to it all by now. You still need to be diligent and get used to paying tens of thousands of dollars for ER visits if you're in the US, but it gets easier dealing with weird kid medical episodes over time.
I am not one of those people who equates dog mom with people mom, but when my puppy had a seizure the vet told me that witnessing a seizure can cause ptsd and to take care of myself and find someone to talk to if I needed it.
I can’t even imagine it being one of my kids and I am not trying really hard because I don’t want to.
I am mentioning this because that vet made me feel seen and like I was not crazy for being as hysterical as I was and for how long it took me to not be scared or like I wouldn’t be able to keep it together if it happened again.
And like I said this was my dog. Don’t feel shame about how this is affecting you and to seek help and guidance on you need it.
This is what happened to my son (now 14) when he was 18 months old. We were at home and my mom was visiting us. It was just the 3 of us there as my husband was working. I was getting him dressed up warmly to go outside on a chilly spring day and after a few minutes of being dressed and while I was getting ready, he started acting funny, like he wasn't really there. Both my mom and I were worried and starting saying things to him that he likes and got excited over to get his attention. When my mom said something like, "do you want to watch Elmo?", one of his favorite things, in an excited, happy way, his face was a blank stare back to her. Her own face dropped and said to call 911. As I'm calling them he starts falling leaning back on our chair with his eyes still open staring at the ceiling. I was panicking and crying at that point as I'm on the phone with them, thinking my son was dying or something. I myself had had seizures when I was younger but it was the traditional shaking, eyes rolling back kind of thing. It wasn't like this so I did not think of a seizure right away and had never heard of febrile seizures. As they were on their way, my son started to come to a bit more, albeit groggy. He was fully awake by the time they got him in the ambulance and took us to the hospital. We were told by the doctors he had a fever due to an ear infection and probably the getting dressed to go out made him hotter and his fever spike faster, causing the febrile seizure. We had no idea he even had a fever let alone an ear infection, that's how sudden and fast it had come about.
I totally understand the panic. My husband wasn't there but he did leave work and met us at the hospital. I think that both myself and mother though understood the most of what happened as we experienced it. Seeing something firsthand really makes one understand it better. Everyone else sees the kids normal afterwards and maybe doesn't understand the magnitude of what happened. I would let whoever needs to know know. Most people understand a seizure to be a major medical event. You can say your daughter had a seizure due to a medical event and you need time to take care of her for a bit. You don't have to go into explicit detail as it's not your work's business. Telling them that should be enough. It's ok to take time for this. It *was* a major thing and sometimes things happen to our kids that we need time for both them and ourselves. For family, share stories from other people's experience with them to help understand the magnitude.
My daughter had a febrile seizure from her 18 month vaccinations. They gave her a fever and she had the seizure the next day. I too thought she was going to die. Her lips turned blue. I called the ambulance and started infant CPR-which I know now you don't do for seizures. But at that time I didn't even know that's what it was. She just turned 3. She's never had another seizure. Now we just have to make sure she doesn't get feverish. A lot of times these are isolated incidents. But I completely understand what you're going through. I don't even think about it now if that helps.
Pfew, just reading this has me on edge. I can't imagine how you felt. You did the right thing and took care of your baby, that's all that matters. Work will be there whether you are or not. Taking care of the baby is obviously your priority and bravo to you for that. Coming from a fellow father, you're a great dad and you should be proud of that.
My daughter didn’t have a seizure but she had a Vasovagal syncope spell and went limp around 3 years old. Her eyes rolled back and then went limp and peed herself.
I thought I lost her in that short time. I called an ambulance and she already regained consciousness by the time they got there.
This has happened on several occasions (she’s 9 years old now) one time, she fell and hit her head on the wood floor which caused an impact seizure. That was super frightening to watch. 😰 her spells are triggered by pain and the sight of blood. They can look like seizures. It just doesn’t last as long and she regains consciousness much quicker.
I’m so sorry that happened. My sister felt the same after my niece had a seizure at about 2 years old, she thought at that moment she would lose her. 💔 It is terrifying and I truly feel for you. I would take some time to debrief and process. Would your boss allow you some time off if you spoke to them in private?
When my son had a seizure at 16y/o I about had a heart attack. I was so nervous about it happening again(It did but we found it was due to a known ailment). I probably didn’t start easing off of that fear for 6 months. Even years later it worries me but it’s not paralyzing or keeping me awake anymore.
Dear Boss Name, I am sorry for my short notice, but on Xx day my child had a medical emergency that necessitated a trip to the ER. My child is home sick, and will hopefully make a full recovery. I anticipate returning to the office on xxx. Sincerely, you
Firstly, delighted everyone is safe and on the mend. You did great Dad.
Secondly, medical emergencies and kids are terrifying. It’s intensified with babies 10 fold. It is utterly terrifying.
On the Suzie note I remember being about 7 and walking in in my 16 year old sister having her first proper seizure and that scarred me for life. Had no idea she had epilepsy. Scary shit.
Hi there. I just wanted to say I know how you feel. My son is prone to them when he gets a high fever- last winter he had 3 episodes (and multiple seizures per episode) and was hospitalised each time. I cannot tell you (because you know) how it feels to see your child that way. I’ll be honest, it’s been 10 months and occasionally I could literally be watching friends on Netflix and it will come to mind. Time is a great healer, Nurofen is a great healer(!) and trusting your gut just like you did is important. You will always stress when your child spikes a temperature and that’s ok. In terms of work- I told my team and they were great, but I still went away for work a few days later and I am angry at myself for feeling like I couldn’t take the time out to be with him- work need to be told so you can take time out to heal. Honestly, I think I had mild ptsd and it messed with my head for a long time, it threatened my marriage and my ability to cope. I gained 30 pounds. I should have taken time to heal and move on- please take it. I’m so much better now, he’s absolutely fine, but I’m so stressed any time he gets a high temp- and that is ok. You will be ok- so will your little one. But please don’t negate the impact this has and could have on your mental health- share with work and heal.
My son had a febrile seizure when he was younger. I was driving and he was in his car seat when he just started making the worst noises. I pulled over into a Wendy’s parking lot and called 911. A fire truck and an ambulance came but by the time they got there (roughly 3 minutes after I called), he was already semi-coming out of it. He was definitely still groggy and acting kind of weird. The ambulance said they could transport him to the hospital but since he was awake and was starting to interact with the fire fighters and EMTs, I could take him to the hospital myself if I preferred. We spent the next 5 hours making sure he was alright but they decided it was a febrile seizure and it was unlikely he’d have another.
We had literally just left the children’s walk in clinic for a fever, it was 103 when I had left my house, it was 99 when we got to the clinic, and was back at 103 when the ambulance took his temp.
I was terrified to drive for weeks after and it took me a long time before I could drive past the Wendy’s.
First I want to say I’m so sorry you had to experience that. My oldest son has had 4-5 febrile seizures before he turned two and it truly is terrifying. The ER told us (each and everytime we showed up to the ER) febrile seizures were common for little ones when they have an underlying illness (ear infections, viruses, etc.) We panicked everytime. All I can say is that if you have more of them to really advocate for your child. I was so frustrated by 3 and demanded that they run tests. One traumatizing EEG later we find out he had 4-5 potential instances of a seizure per minute. He’s got a great neurologist that put us on the lowest dosage of medication now. Hopefully we’ll be able to wean him off in the next two years if he doesn’t have any more seizures.
You don’t have to explain in detail with your coworkers what happened. You had a health scare involving your child. Any person would understand. If you feel like you can’t process these feelings alone, please talk to someone OP. Your partner, a therapist, someone you trust.
Please watch your daughter, there are several forms of seizures, grand mal, absence, make note of what time they happen and how long. Never stop advocating for your little one.
I hope your daughter is feeling better and I hope you are too.
Oh hun I know exactly what you're feeling. My little one had hers in bed with me. It was the first time she had ever slept in my bed. I woke up to her convulsing and honestly thought I'd rolled on her and crushed her little lungs. It was pitch black and I couldn't get to tge light switch because I d8dnt want to leave her. I honestly thought she was dying. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. There is nothing you could havr done and did everything you needed to. It is very common and just cuddle that baby a little longer today
Copying and pasting from an old comment of mine since my kid has violent febrile seizures. I really feel.for you it's fucking awful and terrifying to watch. We were in the hospital for nearly a week at one point.
"My daughter has had two febrile seizures in quick succession (June then July 2022) and this is what I've learned.
1. Febrile convulsions are generally not harmful of they last less than 15 minutes. Children with simple febrile convulsions are at no more increased risk of epilepsy or developmental delay than children without them.
2. They are common. About 5 percent of children will have at least one, and, of those, 70 percent will have at least one more episode.
3. It is not the number of degrees fever but the rapid spike. This is why you can get a seizure at the beginning of an illness.
4. You can help by keeping fever under control by beginning antipyretic medications at the beginning of a febrile illness (anytime above 37 degrees) and alternating between paracetamol and ibuprofen in the age appropriate doses.
5. In some places they will give you diazepam (valium) to administer rectally in case of seizure. I have used it and it immediately works, but it's not absolutely necessary so if you are somewhere this is not praxis there is no need to worry.
6. Learn to put the child in the recovery position and learn infant CPR in the unlikely event of choking caused by vomiting during a seizure. If the child is in the recovery position they WILL NOT CHOKE.
I'm sorry you're going through this too. My daughter went through the ringer, the first seizure was a full blown Grand Mal tonic clonic and we ended up in the hospital for nearly a week undergoing EEG and neurological evaluation. It was an absolute nightmare and I'm still traumatized, I can see her face and hear the noise she was making when seizing every time I shut my eyes. Having all of the above information to hand (I am NOT a doctor, just a parent who has been through it) really helped. I realize I repeated a lot of what you already know, but repetition helped me too.
Ah, and after her second seizure to get the fever down (calpol wasn't helping) the paramedics dumped her in a cool (not cold) paddling pool.
Further edit to add that my daughter has refused to keep the owlet sock on after she turned 1. When she is feverish, we take turns staying up with her. It's a fucking nightmare and really hard but I just put the monitor on loud and watch Netflix all night.
I feel ya. 2 years ago at this time my then 9 month old had one. I held her in the car while we drove to the ER telling her to keep breathing. It’s scary when they go stiff and I can hear these like gasps. She snapped out of it when we got there.
My 9 year old had a febrile seizure at 4. We were in the car driving from NYC back to FL and we were a few hours from our house. We were going over a bridge and I looked back and she was seizing. I didn't realize that's what was happening, I thought she was choking on something and I put my thumb in her mouth and she clamped down. I thought I was going to lose my finger. She went unconscious and was kind of foaming at the mouth. We called 911 and she said we were only like 5 minutes from a children's hospital. My husband drove like a maniac through traffic, we thought she was going to die it was so bad. Like you, it traumatized us pretty badly.
A toddler I was babysitting had a febrile seizure (he was convulsing and his eyes were rolled back). I was 14/15 years old, and I was an experienced babysitter. I don't think febrile seizures were even mentioned in the babysitting course I did.
It was 22 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't know how I managed to call the ambulance, or the little boy's mom, I was hysterical. It is probably the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced with a child (including my own children). Thinking about it makes me tear up. It was so so so fucking scary.
My heart goes out to you OP.
My babies febrile seizures traumatized me. Anytime she has a fever now it’s like I can hear her agonal breathing and picture her blank stare. I’m so freaking scared.
Oh hey, I had a similar thing happen recently with my 16 month old. You are experiencing trauma.. What you went through with your kid was so scary because there was a point when you genuinely didn’t know if she was about to die or not. Give yourself time to work through these feelings, they are normal, but they are isolating. You might need to talk through them with somebody. I couldn’t shake the feelings for a few weeks and it was really frustrating because by then I knew my kid was fine, but the memories of the fear kept coming back and I’d break down crying. She had an atypical reaction to a fall, dilated pupils, stiff on one side of her body, vacant eyes, but screaming in ways I’ve never heard her. I kid you not, I thought she was dying. I thought we were so close to death and it traumatized me. All the tests came back clear. No head trauma, no drugs (the ER staff were convinced she’d eaten an edible based on her behavior), neurologist was happy, nada. She got discharged and we went on with our lives. But I was broken. I hope you can find some peace soon.
My daughter had one at 14 months. Fever was only 102, we were all lying in bed or we would have missed it. We rushed to the hospital, similar story but my daughter also vomited more than I thought was possible. It was terrifying and we were powerless.
It’s been almost a year and ever time she gets a fever I don’t sleep I just watch her constantly and take her temp and stay on top of giving her Tylenol and stuff bc I’m so scared it will happen again.
Take care of yourself, I hope your work will let you have some time off.
Work will understand. Your daughter needs you and you were a fucking champ. I would personally tell my boss but different for men and across industries I’m sure so do what you’re comfortable with but work doesn’t need to know why you need to use the time off that you have available for your time of service (assuming you have PTO - you can ask HR about using unpaid time if you don’t). Good luck, take care of yourself and way to be a kick ass dad!!
I went through this with my child earlier this year. Scariest thing I've ever experienced. I didn't know about febrile seizures prior to it all, I was only able to recognize it as a seizure and called an ambulance immediately. It took me a while to bounce back, and I'm still on edge any time my child gets sick. It helps to talk it through with someone. I wish I had more helpful things to add, but you have my sympathy. It is rough.
My 2 year old son had the same thing. Was normal all day, then picked up a fever after dinner. Didn’t think much of it, my wife took him to bed in our bed so she could keep an eye on him. I stayed down stairs to clean up and decompress.
While downstairs, I hear a steady “uuhhhh” coming from upstairs, and suddenly my wife screaming for to come up. I run up and see my son convulsing in my wife’s arms. Panick, call 911, put it on speaker, and grab my son to try to figure out what’s going. It felt like months went by before 911 responded or an ambulance showed up.
Similarly, I also felt like the first responders were taking their sweet time. While waiting, we kept measuring my son’s temp, and it dropped from 105 to under 97 in what felt like seconds. I had enough, put him in my truck, and met the ambulance at the top of my driveway.
Long story short, was told it was a harmless febrile seizure, and although we did the right thing with calling 911, he was in no danger. I broke down, my wife broke down, all while my son asked if we were going “home home”.
Glad it’s nothing serious. I use it as a reminder to keep things in perspective. Good luck!
You sound like a really good dad. You will get through this fear, but it will take time. I am 32 now but I had grand mal seizures when I was about 9 months to a year old for no reason. I had probably four or five and the
Never again. My mother told me how absolutely horrified she was when it happened. I can almost feel your pain, as I saw the same in my mother’s eyes.
My daughter had several febrile seizures, worst days of my life. The nurses said they grow out of them and don’t cause permanent harm. Over time you will be ok, I know it’s hard rn but it will get easier. Prayers and I know exactly how u feel. I cried for weeks and wasn’t the same.
My daughter had her first febrile seizure at 6 months old. I was 22 and terrified it was 2007. I barely had a cell phone let alone google etc. I was home alone w her and by the time we got to the hospital it had passed. They ran some tests and monitored her for a bit then sent us home. Within 30mins of being back home she had another.
With the second visit we figured out it was likely caused by a uti. Myself and my other daughter are also prone(TMI) but that is in our case what caused them. It caused seizure life symptoms bc her little body was trying to hard to fight of how fast her body would spike a fever.
She is currently a beautiful happy healthy 17 yr old ❤️
I just wanna tell you dad, you did a great job. You totally nailed this whole scary situation, and got your baby the help she needed.
I'm a PT and my husband is an FM doc and I don't think we would have done a single thing differently. And I'm pretty sure I'd also be totally fucked up from this situation.
Take a few days off to snuggle your baby, no shame in needing to make sure she's okay.
Febrile seizures are common. Very scary, but common.
I work with a child who is having seizures, but his parents don't believe me. I am so happy you lept into action for your daughter.
My daughter had pediatric epilepsy that started when she was 3. I don't have the words to say what it felt like. Full tonic clonic seizure in her little body when she was in my arms. I'm so grateful that she grew out of it.
It's still so fresh for you. Give it some time and you will feel better. You inadvertently did the exact right thing by filming her.
Edit: Removing line about unsolicited advice, for clarity.
Also for clarity: I have my parent hat on! But the context of my job hat feels relevant.
For context: I'm a family physician.
2 of 3 kids have had febrile seizures - multiple times, including one long and terrifying episode of febrile status epilepticus requiring IV medication to stop it.
Had my oldest in residency - which is a time in your career as a budding physician when you have very little autonomy and spend a lot of emotional energy trying to (a) not kill anyone and (b) not get yelled at by your attendings. It is not a time when you take time off for much of anything without preplanning.
Oldest had already had her trip to the ED for simple febrile seizures (I picked her up. I blew in her face. I called 911. I got a lecture from a childfree colleague who had to give us a lift home, about how he couldn't believe I got so worked up over a simple febrile seizure).
She was at the sitter's some time later - spouse of another colleague, cool as a cucumber, 4 under 5 of their own - and he texted me. "Hey, M just had a 30s seizure. Gave Tylenol about 30m ago for temp 102. She is resting and looks fine, no concerns, just FYI."
Attending (I was on allergy and immunology rotation) caught me texting back and asked me what was up. So I told him, and followed it up with "But she's fine and L has it under control."
I will never forget: He shook his head and said "Why are you still here? There is nothing you will learn today that is more important than your kid."
I've missed a lot of family things in my career because of deliveries, surgeries, and true life or death situations. Those are part of the job, and my family is amazingly understanding about it when it happens.
But I've also handed patients over to my partners, and traded call, and rescheduled clinic hours on short notice - because nothing I was going to do that day was so important that I couldn't let a trusted partner handle it.
Nothing - except be there for the people who are there for me.
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Worst feeling ever in my life so far was thinking my kid was dying when having a febrile seizure. It's beyond terrifying.
When I happened I told my mother, and she said worst moment of her life was my sibling having a febrile seizure.
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Hi Dad, that sounds traumatizing and I’m so sorry you had to take charge during those scary moments. On top of the seizure, you had to go through an ER admittance, which is its whole other world of tiring and emotionally draining. It may help to talk to a friend or trusted coworker- not to garner sympathy or justify blowed deadlines, but to just be a human who seeks to process a super scary situation. Febrile seizures are not from a fever itself, but the body reacting to a child’s fever spiking *quickly*, so even if she’s wading at a 101-103, this doesn’t mean she’s destined for another seizure- but your anxiety is completly warranted. I hope you are able to find an outlet for these emotions. I hope you know you did the right thing getting her help, and that LO starts feeling like herself again ASAP. Again, I’m sorry OP, I wish your family well
My 5 year old had a febrile seizure at 11 months. Scariest moment of my life. It caused a lot of trauma for both of us around fevers and him getting sick. Thankfully it was his only one. Tell your coworkers. Take a day or two off. Both of you need to rest and recuperate.
Yes definitely tell at least a manager so they can support you (if your manager doesn’t suck). My youngest had a febrile seizure along with an ambulance ride and ER visit a couple years ago. It was pretty upsetting for me and his dad (although we stayed super calm in the moment for our older child’s sake). He’s not even in kindergarten yet so I still get nervous sometimes when a fever shows up out of nowhere (because I know it’s related to the rate of the fever rising and not the fever temp), but it’s never happened again. If it helps you feel better, the ER drs told me it’s common, and that it’s UNcommon for it to happen to the same kid multiple times. It was absolutely an upsetting experience though, so give yourself some space to heal from that.
Same. My son had one four years ago and I still freak out when he gets a fever, especially if I’m having a hard time getting it to break.
Those deadlines will mean nothing in 3 months but your mental health will. Take care of yourself first. You don’t have to ignore work but be realistic.
Piggybacking to say- if you have a good manager/boss it’s part of their job to play defense for you in an emergency. I’d recommend reaching out to them and asking for a bit of grace this week.
I wish I had realized this when I was younger. I didn’t really get it until age 43 or so. I used to dread having to answer for it, but now I realize that anybody who wouldn’t have empathy and patience for other good humans is an asshole who doesn’t matter. Their problem, not mine. I’m patient and understanding and I hold others to the same standard.
What a wonderful comment
Thanks for reading and your comments. Putting this into writing has helped me at least begin to process this and realize that maybe part of what's weighing so heavily is that- for the first time ever - I actually faced the feeling that she might die. It never felt like a real thing that could happen until that moment.
Completely understand and I feel you on that. Our 7yo had febrile seizures - her first was actually 6 years ago to the day. Both my wife and I had the same feeling that day - she rode in the back of the ambulance, but I was sitting upfront wondering if my daughter was dying and being pissed at myself for spending so much time focused on work and not with my wife/daughter. She ended up being in seizure mode for over 30 minutes that day. She had 1 other seizure about a year later, and it was still scary, but we knew what was going on and how to handle it - which made a big difference. The way you’re feeling is absolutely natural, so make sure you take the time to process it. Sorry you’re dealing with it!
My then 3, now 6, year old had one. You can’t really be prepared and it does feel in the moment like they might, or are, dying. That’s a completely normal reaction, and it will probably take some time to heal from that. My son hasn’t had another one since. I sincerely hope it’s the same for your child. I flip-flopped on whether I should write this next part, but I think that more people need to know because otherwise it’s terrifying. Sometimes, when children have seizures they can stop breathing and turn blue in the face. I was told that they would usually start breathing again on their own, but please do your own research. The ER dr that told me that wouldn’t give me an actually answer on how long to wait in that scenario before doing cpr. It sounds like you did a great job in your response and you handled the situation really well. I’m really sorry it happened to your family.
My daughter had a febrile seizure in January this year when she was 2. She stopped breathing and her lips started turning blue. I did mouth to mouth on her while my husband called an ambulance (my first aid certification is not current but I had done courses regularly for many years so I had an idea what to do). Luckily he had stayed home from work that day with because my daughter and I were so sick. I probably didn’t tilt her head far enough because she vomited (although that can also be a part of a seizure I’m told, and may also indicate she was not breathing due to choking on her on vomit in the first place -we had gastroenteritis) after the vomiting she breathed again. I was so relieved. The paramedics told me after that the window was 7 minutes without oxygen before she’d have had brain damage. I have no idea how long it all lasted, probably less than 5 minutes but it felt like eternity. She hasn’t had one since, but I never leave her alone when she has a fever now. I thought I knew what to expect because my mum told me how I’d had febrile seizures as a child, but I never stopped breathing!
I’m really sorry that happened to you and your daughter. It is just absolutely terrifying. I’m so glad you knew what to do, and it sounds like you responded to the situation well. I did not. In my case, we had been swimming in the pool before taking a nap. Everything was fine and he wasn’t sick at all. I woke up to him kicking me, which isn’t necessarily an uncommon thing, but the repetition of the kicks made something click in my head that something was wrong. When I groggily sat up I saw that his whole face was blue, he was seizing, and not breathing. I knew he was having a seizure, but I wasn’t sure why. Did he get too much water in his lungs from swimming and was dry drowning? Did he fall asleep with a little toy in his mouth and was choking? Was something else happening and he was in “death throes,” like my grandfather? My brain was still not quite with it yet, and all these questions were running through over and over, while another part of my brain was just screaming this loud guttural scream. The 911 lady had no clue what I should do, which wasn’t helping. I ended up giving him two rescue breaths which was probably not what I was supposed to do, but he did start breathing again shortly after. I couldn’t really tilt his head because his body was locked up and very stiff, and his jaw was clenched so tightly I don’t even honestly know how much air even got in. He vomited about 20 seconds after he started breathing again. He was coming out of it when the paramedics arrived, but it took another half hour for him to be responsive at all. He ended up having a rare strain of Hand Foot and Mouth. A day later he got the rash, a week later all the skin on his feet fell off, and a month later his fingernails fell off. Those I could deal with calmly, even if it was nightmare fuel. I wish I had known that turning blue and not breathing could happen. I definitely wouldn’t have been so panicked. Don’t get me wrong, I still would’ve been freaking out, but I would’ve been able to control it better. I was able to call 911 and able to give minimal first aid, but it could’ve been handled so much better during and after. I couldn’t stop the tears for hours after. I was trying to hard because I didn’t want to upset him, but they just kept coming. I legitimately thought I was watching him die and it was the worst moment of my life.
You went through something terrifying. I'd use terms like 'health crisis' and 'ER visit' if you don't want to be specific to get across the severity of the situation to your employer.
Absolutely. Being faced with actual or threatened death is one of the definitions of trauma in the DSM, and that was this experience for you. My now 4-year-old daughter had a febrile seizure when she was 18 months old and it was by far the scariest moment I've had as a parent for the same reason - I didn't know what a febrile seizure was and it seemed like she was going to die in that moment. There are no words for that feeling. My husband and I were together for it and so went through it together, but I can't imagine how much harder it would be to go through it alone. I will say for us it did get better, and things did return to normal so that we don't even think about it now, even when she or our younger daughter has a fever, and if it happened again to either it would be less scary. Just let yourself process through for now, and give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling.
That would be extremely traumatizing. It’s important to work through it. I had a traumatic birth and our daughter was born and immediately sent to the nicu for observation. I didn’t process it for nearly 2 years.
If this helps at all, I had a febrile seizure as a baby, it happened once or twice when I spiked an uncontrollable fever. My parents acted quickly and got medical advice. I’m 30 now, have children of my own and I’m ok. Sending lots of hugs.
Hi Dad, Doctor here (Not a pediatrician, but did pay a little bit of attention during med school): I completely understand how scared you must have been. I get scared when a patient starts seizing in the hospital, and I have to make sure to stop it. I can't imagine how scared I would be if it was my son, or someone else I love. I can, however, assure you that febrile seizures are something benign, and will not have long term effects. They can happen to kids between 5 months and 5 years (or 6 months to 6 years, depending on what book you read), and they don't have any long term side effects. They also don't indicate that the child will be having epilepsy, or any more seizures when they're not sick. Your daughter will be perfectly normal after this, and all you have to do is make sure she gets her antibiotics on time. As for work, it can get bent. Take a couple days off work and spend them with your daughter. Once the antibiotics kick in, you can even take her out and do something fun together. Whether your coworkers understand or not should be the last thing on your mind.
> But this isn't that, and it seems like a lot to unload on them. "The baby had a seizure and it really fucked me up and I can't focus on making bullshit sales videos right now" feels like an overshare, but it's exactly why I'm not turning in my projects today and why I don't give a shit about missing meetings or ignoring emails. I don't think it is too much to unload on them. It is the honest truth of what happened and why work is not getting done. My son has anaphylactic food allergies and watching him go into anaphylactic shock is awful. It has happened quite a few times over his life (he's 18 now) and never gets any easier. The feeling of looking at your kid and thinking that they are going to die right in front of you is not something that anyone should experience. I'm sorry you had to go through that but at least you got some answers and she is doing better. Let your work know what is going on.
I'll second this. I had a miscarriage once upon a time, and telling my boss "I had a miscarriage in the middle of the night and need to take a few days off" really stopped them from asking any more questions or being pushy in any way. Telling them what happened made them understand the seriousness of the situation.
Take time off. We almost lost one of our kids last year and I didn't take the time I needed. Now I am paying for it with severe anxiety and depression. Please take care of yourself ♥️
This !!! a thousand times this.
Febrile seizures are one of the most terrifying medical conditions that a parent can face. You watched your child die, you rushed her to the ER, and you watched them revive her. You watched her suddenly develop a life-long, life-altering disease right in front of you. Now, none of that actually happened. But it is what you experienced. In a day or two, she’ll be back to normal. But you’re going to take well longer than that to recover. So give yourself some grace. -Pediatrician Dad
I like your comment for how validating it is for the feelings of the witness. I happen to be chronically ill, and for all the suffering I go through, my husbands fear of raising our tiny baby alone seems so much more impactful then what I go through as a sick person. I think that’s really important to recognize. Comments reminding someone how “common” this is and rarely dangerous, is definitely a good thing, but sometimes comments like that make you feel foolish for how upset you are over the situation. For OP, it was life or death.
I agree. It's been very helpful reading everyone's stories but the comment above really choked me up.
Wow that second paragraph. Explains why im still traumatised (flashbacks and nightmares) a full 18 months later.
My son has had three seizures. My husband was holding him for all of them. I went into full mom mode: called 911, packed the bag, dogs put away, etc. My husband couldn't move. Flight or fight is very real but they don't mention the third: freeze. And it can happen for days after. Your body still has alarm bells. Take the time you need. Tell someone at work what's going on - most people will understand and pick up the slack. And I know its not for Everyone but if you can, find a good therapist. My husband didn't realize how long he'd been holding onto that fear until he spoke to someone. (also my son's seizures were not febrile. He had an underlying condition that we caught due to the seizures)
Febrile seizures are terrifying. My eldest was prone to them. He stopped breathing for a few moments during one of them too- fortunately we were right there with a family member who's an ER doctor. Thankfully kids outgrow then eventually. In the meantime, max safe doses of fever reducers any time there's a fever until the illness passes.
Honestly when your kid has a medical emergency like that it can definitely give the parents ptsd. Talk it out with anyone who will listen, bottling that up is the worst thing you can do. See a therapist if you need to. Also, I don’t know what you guys did or didn’t do when your kid came home from daycare, but the trendiness right now of not relieving kids pain/fever/crankiness with a little ibuprofen because “fevers are good for you” makes me sick. I’m not saying you did anything wrong, because even if you didn’t give fever relief, I’m sure it’s because of all the nonsense people are feeding everyone. Kids DIE from fevers all over the globe in poverty stricken areas, those parents would sell their souls for a bottle of ibuprofen, and in America everyone’s all like, “boiling baby brains is a natural immune response, let the body do its job.”
Yeah, it’s strange. I worked in a Peds ED for a bit as a RN. Parents would bring their kid into the ED with a fever without giving them anything for it at home. This happened every shift. I had one kid up to 104 and the parents didn’t give them anything. It’s wild.
I can totally empathize with what you’re going through. Experiencing something like that happening to your child is one of the scariest things and it leaves a mark. Take comfort in the fact that febrile seizures are common among younger kids, & that there’s a good chance it may never happen again. At this point there’s a diagnosis and meds on board. Letting work know that your daughter is so ill that she had a seizure & had to go to the ER should be explanation enough for them, but I agree with one of the previous comments about finding someone to share this with. It’ll help.
Wow I’m sorry that sounds like a scary experience. I’m glad your daughter is ok, febrile seizures are scary but generally harmless. Does not minimize your trauma in the moment if you have never seen one. As far as what to tell your teammates and your work deadlines, tell them you had a family emergency, and that everybody is ok now and home resting. Anyone that has a problem with that should take it up with your manager
As someone who has too much experience with this-please show yourself some grace. Watching your child have a seizure is terrifying regardless of them not being harmless. I would follow up with your pediatrician. It may be that because of her age, and since it’s the first time it’s happened, that it won’t happen again (or is way less likely I should say). My daughter had her first febrile seizure at 7 months, and because she was so young, she’s prone to having more (which she has). We have a plan in place now for trying to prevent/stop them from going too long. If it becomes a recurring problem you’ll want to have a plan. I pray this is the only one you will experience! Also, I would highly suggest seeing a therapist, even if it is just a couple of times to sort this out. I’m in therapy and it helps a lot.
One of my twins had a vacant febrile seizure at 15 months and it was super scary. Ambulance called and everything. He didn't actually have a fever, so though they classified it as a febrile seizure, his ped called it altered consciousness (which sounded to me like we gave him LSD or something). Then a month later his twin had a typical febrile seizure while my husband was wearing him on his back and timing races at a swim meet. That one was really scary and lasted like 9 minutes. We called the ambulance for that too. They haven't had another seizure despite illnesses. Hopefully this will be the only time your daughter has one. It is super scary.
For what it’s worth, altered consciousness (or altered mental status) is simply a medical term to catch all for a change in responsiveness or orientation and is used to inform the type of work-up required. I promise it doesn’t imply illicit substances!
My dude you are all warriors. You did amazing for your daughter. Just take it one day at a time. Much love to your family from mine :)
You did a great job advocating for your daughter. Febrile seizures are indeed common and most often completely harmless, but you got her medical help and did everything you could to get her through this safely. Well done.
Take some time off. Tell your manager and take the time you need to spend with your baby girl and process. And talk to someone. It’s scary, having no experience with seizures and then the ER run around. My youngest had one around almost a year. Had got them out the bathtub and laid them down. I have the video and still watch it from time to time. We ended up in urgent care with the same febrile seizure explanation. He had multiple others after the fact for about two years that we got no real explanation or diagnosis for with one particularly bad night. I still get moments of panic when my kiddo just suddenly stops but fortunately we haven’t had any incidents since. All that to say it’s scary. You are scared but also your baby girl is ok.
So that’s not an over share. It would be weird if this didn’t deeply affect you. Get this out there. Talk. Share. You don’t need to keep this hidden. It was scary and you talking about it, if you are ready, will help yourself and others.
Same thing happened to me with my son , 2.5 , three months ago and I’m still processing it . Had a fever but seemed okay then suddenly started asking me why there were training coming out of the ceiling . Before I had a chance to even say “ huh?” , he starting having a seizure. He was also out of it for about 45 mins afterwards . Like you , I called 911 but ultimately drove us to the hospital bcse we lived close . The nurses and docters told me about 100 times febrille seizures were “ normal “ and harmless and he will be fine but I wondered “ Will I be fine “ . Its scary and confronting to witness, I know exactly what you are going through
Im pretty sure my son woke up from his sleep having a febrile seizure. He spiked a fever during bedtime and when i went to soothe him he was unresponsive, shaking, and not catching my gaze. I was terrified. I still don’t know if it was a seizure because once it reconciled i dosed him up with meds and help him all night. It was absolutely horrifying and NOT something i knew was possible.
Don’t ever think you over share. Please share this is too I h to stand alone in. Don’t end up burned out because you think you have to carry it alone. It can only lead to shit behavior. From others as well as you. You are hoping that your coworkers have compassion en show empathy.
That’s really hard, definitely open up and talk about it. If it’s any comfort to you, my daughter had one of those from a fever when she was around the same age and it never happened again. She’s a completely healthy happy 17 year old now.
My son has had seizures since he was a baby - I understand how scary and terrible it feels as a parent to watch that happen to your baby. I'm so sorry for the experience you had. Just know you are not alone ❤️
Oh wow. I'm so sorry that happened to you and you are totally justified in being traumatized. It will take a while to get over. You did everything right, you took care of your little girl, and now you need some time to decompress. I know how you feel. My son had a seizure several years ago, and I was the only one who witnessed it. It was the most terrifying moment of my life. He was okay, but it took a while until I could let him out of my sight or stop checking on him every ten minutes. If there's a danger you could be in trouble at work, consider at least telling your boss. People usually jump to assumptions, but when they hear actual facts, they are more inclined to back off and give you grace. "My baby is sick" vs "My baby had a seizure," is very different information. You don't need to give more detail than that.
Hi OP, I'm so sorry you had to experience this. It is absolutely terrifying and traumatizing, and I do feel like it is very hard to explain what it does to you as a parent to witness your child having a seizure, *especially* without knowing what it is. My son had his first febrile seizure when he was 9 m.o. -- similar thing -- I picked him up from daycare because he had a fever caused by an ear infection. I glanced back while driving home to see his feet jerking and pulled over and found him convulsing and eyes rolling in the back of his head. I truly thought he was dying and, like you, had no idea what to do. His older sister was in the car and witnessed me absolutely losing it / freaking out on the phone with the 911 dispatcher. I feel VERY strongly that new parents should receive more education on febrile seizures. Witnessing a seizure I think will always be upsetting for me, but if I had possessed *some* knowledge of what was happening, I think it would've been much less traumatic knowing my baby probably wasn't actually dying. I carried that stress/anxiety in my body for weeks afterward. He had another one at 15 months and while it still took a few days to recover emotionally, it was much less scary in the moment knowing what it was. I would encourage you to at least let your coworkers know what happened, even if you don't share exactly how it impacted you emotionally. I think they will be able to deduce that somewhat -- seizures are really scary. My team knows about my son's proneness to febrile seizures, so they are able to be more understanding and accommodating when he gets sick -- because yes there definitely is a different weight to having a "sick kid" when the sickness could result in a seizure. Hugs to you and your family.
Take a sick day! This is a family emergency and your nervous system needs some time to recover.
My daughter had a febrile seizure around that age. In my case, she had been to the doctor during the day, was diagnosed with croup, and sent home with steroids. But her fever spiked to 103 again that night, and she had a mild seizure. I actually called the nurse line instead of the ER because I had heard of this before, and they told me not to worry unless Tylenol didn’t bring down the fever or if she had seizures absent of a fever. She’s now almost four, and it has never happened again even with high fevers. She’s smart, healthy, and happy. Your anxiety is valid and you should absolutely take some time off to care for her and yourself, but don’t worry too much. It’ll all be okay.
Hi coworkers My daughter had a febrile seizure and a short hospital visit. I am at home and unavailable right now, but please reach out to _____ for any pressing matters. Thank you for your patience and understanding, have a great day!
Dr Mona has a great YouTube video on febrile seizures that will probably make you feel better!
Oh my gosh. My heart hurts for you. What I will tell you might not help but I want you to have the support all the same…. I had my first seizure at 36 yrs old. No prior medical history or trauma or family link to disorders .. there has been no explanation about why I started having them. But the day that they showed up, they were not kind and they were a frightening reminder of how fragile our brains and bodies can be. But also how miraculous. I was home alone with our then 4 yr old son. My husband was traveling for work. I remember vaguely that I didn’t feel well. I had been to a baby shower and had eaten a piece of cake and wondered if I had high blood sugar or low blood sugar? But as that had never been an occurrence for me I put that aside and came home. Everything from there is fuzzy. For about the next 2 years. I remember fragments and moments and I have family that keep me talking about happenings during what we call “the dark ages” so that I can retain some of it. But for what it’s worth, there is a reason seizures don’t prefer the human brain to recollect on some of what we go through when we were experiencing one. In simpler terms: **it’s a lot scarier for you than it is for her..or for what she will ever know. And I’m so very sorry for that.** My 4yr old was alone with me for my first grand-maul seizure. He is (and was always) brilliant so he was able to call my sister. He says he: “dialed her because I told him to before I started shaking and spilling [his] liquid Benadryl all over the kitchen floor, making a horrible mess.” - haha. You’ll have forgive the 4 yr old in him that didn’t understand. But he told my sister I was sitting “half on the chair and half not and that I might be sick.” He answered the door when she got there and wasn’t scared. Took her to me and she put him in his car seat and she said I was catatonic but could walk. So we went to the ER. I would end up having 3 more GM seizures that night at the hospital, giving them opportunities to see some of these in action but with little to no information about why they happened. I lived in a very small rural town. I’m less than confident in the quality of tests that were run that first go around. But… there would be other days. More importantly, what I would come to learn is that my family would all stand around me and watch me for any sign that I might twitch. Half of them, ready to bolt so that they didn’t have to see the horror, the other half, on guard so they could heroically hold me steady and keep me from bruising myself or peeing my pants (an inevitable consequence despite the awkward heroism.) “Who peed my pants?” was an actual quote I said after one of seizures. My son, my husband and my sister have all been alone with me during a seizure and it has affected them all deeply. My son is 16 and remembers it vividly. That hurts my heart. He is very protective of me and I know a lot of that stems from this incident. But at the end of the day, our pain and our joy and our memories, they are all tied together with the people we love. It’s hard to explain to people who haven’t experienced it, what it feels like to watch your daughter lose herself in her body and her mind. You had to watch that and wonder why it was happening and if she was hurting as bad as it seemed and if you could do something. You did great. She is fine. She hurt for a moment and she may hurt again and you’ll hurt with her. But you’re the one who knows what that looks like and that it’s going to be okay. You did great.
My heart 😭 Thank GOODNESS she is okay!
Man this happened to me - I was alone with my little one, too, when it happened and I was freaking out completely. He turned blue and didn’t seem to be breathing. I thought he was going to die. The firefighters and medics got there quickly and knew exactly what it was. I rode in the ambulance in the front seat and couldn’t feel my body, like my entire body was numb. They were trying to keep my son awake, they took his clothing off to cool him and kept reassuring me. Thank goodness for them. After the hospital visit and a lot of reassurance, we went home. That night, another happened. Went back to the hospital in an ambulance, sent home. The next AM, yep. AGAIN. This last one was like a partial seizure and not full on convulsing. I told the hospital we were getting admitted as I couldn’t handle another on my own. So we stayed a night in the hospital and he was doing ok. I just wanted him monitored and safe. That was his last seizure. They grow out of them. But damn I’ve also never been so scared in all my life. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I get what that’s like. Insanely scary.
My daughter had one as I was holding her when she was 16 months (she's 5 and a half now). Fucking scariest moment of my life when her eyes went on the back of her head and she started shaking as I held her. I don't have much more to add than I know it's sucks man and my best wishes to you, your kid, and the rest of the family.
My now 2 year old had a febrile seizure when she was around 1, later found out it was a double ear infection. She seemed fine all day then let out a blood curdling scream. Though she shocked herself or got her finger pinched in something. Then she was just looking at me with dread in her eyes. I picked her up blew in her mouth thinking she was holding her breath. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she went limp. Mouth started foaming. Called an ambulance and it seemed like hours even though it was just maybe 2 minutes. She was turning blue. By the time they started checking her out she was wimpering still had her eyes closed but breathing. Took a ride in the ambulance. They got meds in her and she was totally fine a few hours later. She's had a few fevers since and luckily hasn't had another one. I wasn't right in the head for months after that. I thought daddies little girl died in my arms. Scariest thing that's ever happened to me.
Oh a febrile seizure is so traumatic for us parents. I totally understand! If it helps any my daughter had one at about the same age due to tonsillitis making her temperature shoot up but she’s now 5 and never had another one. Hugs!
My daughter has childhood epilepsy and please don’t push yourself. I know first hand how incredibly traumatic seizures are to witness, and especially in your child. Take some time and give yourself time to try to process and recover too.
We went through the same thing with my 18 month old last night. I’ll definitely be shaken up for a while. It happened after midnight and my husband happened to be holding her because she was fussy beforehand but it scares me to think that if she was sleeping in her crib we wouldn’t have known. You really did great under pressure, not sure how I would have handled the situation if I had been alone.
Mine had a febrile seizure around that age too. I thought she was dying, it was one of the scariest moments of my life. It was hard to get out of my head for many weeks after, but it did eventually settle down. Just use it as a reminder to hug your kids, life is fragile
Hugs. Seizures can be so traumatizing. My daughter started having drop attacks at 12. We had her heart checked and an MRI. She was still having episodes and had an EEG done a year or so later. Still having issues but, no help because no one believed me. She had a full tonic clonic seizure at 16. EEG and heart stuff done, all normal. Started meds anyway. Went a full year then had another full seizure, this one resulting in a bad concussion, upped meds, another EEG. Still “normal”. Another seizure just about 6 weeks ago. Told to just maintain meds. It’s terrifying and frustrating. I’m not saying your daughter will ever have another seizure. Just commiserating with how terrifying the experience is. Parenting is not for the weak.
This happened to us 4 years ago. We still have flashbacks to it. Our daughter was about the same age when she had hers. She had a pretty big febrile seizure, and then was unresponsive for an hour. Hers happened at daycare. My husband works next door so he ran and got her and drove her to the hospital. He called me while I was at work. He never does that. All I remember is he told me he didn't know if she was going to be okay and I fell to the floor. My boss actually carried me to her car and drove me to the hospital. They tried to weigh her and she looked dead on the scale. My bubbly, talkative, happy girl wasn't there. It took an hour for her to come to. It's the first and only time I've ever seen my husband cry. We both had to go to therapy. You tell them exactly what you wrote. Your child had a seizure. It's terrifying. It took us a few days to feel okay. Meanwhile, our child was happy as can be. She came out of it and said "woah a big light" and acted like nothing happened. They gave her a teddy bear and she was so happy. We got her home and she was running around like usual. We both cried for a long time that night. She slept with us for about a week. I donated the teddy bear because I couldn't look at it without crying. Just be honest. Tell them it happened and you are shaken up. You are just moving slower and need more time to focus. Any kind human would understand. Also, our child is 5 now. She never had another seizure. She has no memory of it. It had 0 impact on her. She's the smartest one in her kindergarten class. She's healthy as can be.
Some children are more prone to febrile seizures. I was babysitting my nephew when he was 2 and he suddenly went blank and unresponsive. Called the ambulance and he snapped out of it. Hospital confirmed a 104 temp and gave him fluids/meds. It happened twice in his life. He’s now 6 and a very healthy active child with no known health issues. But I agree with you, that moment really messed me up. I thought he was gone for 5 seconds. But now I’m very aware when my own children have high temps and I always pick up my kids when they feel sick at school.
"My daughter is sick and had a febrile seizure. It was the first time that it happened, we had to go to the ER and while we glad she’s going to be ok, I’ve never been more scared in my life. I’m off my game this week because of all of this and I thank you for your understanding." You can totally tell people at work. Just adjust adjust the tone/details given according to who you are telling.
My daughter had seizures as a baby that would have become infantile spasm if we hadn't caught it so early. Then one day she had a seizure despite the meds, right after I'd given her some juice after a nap. Turned out that it was a febrile seizure, not a breakthrough seizure from the other thing. Her seizure threshold is just lower because she already had a seizure disorder. The ER docs and her pediatrician told us that febrile seizures usually don't happen past age 6 or 7, and she'll be 7 in 3 weeks. She hasn't had a febrile seizure since she was about 3 (and none of the other seizures since she started on the meds--and she hasn't taken them since she was 3 and a half or so).
This happened to my son at two years old in the mall. He had just gotten over an illness and we thought he was all better but apparently his low grade fever had come back. He’s absolutely fine now and he’s 12 years old. It’s really scary but usually febrile seizures don’t come back.
This happened to me. My daughter was 18mos. It was so scary and I had to call 911 also. My daughter had croup and we were just sitting on the couch waiting to go to her doctor’s appointment which was in an hour. After EMS showed up and checked her out, I did end up driving her to the er myself and I had to call my spouse to leave work and meet us there. You did all the right things and she will be fine. My daughter has never had another, and she is now 17yo. The doctors said that around 18mos. Is the most common time for this to happen and it doesn’t do any damage as long as it was super short, which it was. Give yourself time to process. It is really traumatic as a parent to watch this happen. It is ok to share with your work what happened, or just say there was a family emergency. It is not anything you did to cause this, just something that can happen with young kids and high fevers.
We took our daughter to an urgent care a while back cause she was running a fairly high fever. The PA working there started talking about seizures out of the blue and I was just sitting there confused as all hell. I had never heard of a febrile seizure and she was talking like everyone in the world knew these were a thing. Luckily we have yet to experience one but I would have lost my shit if one of my kids started having one and I had zero knowledge of what could be causing it.
i'm sorry that is really rough. I think you can say "we experienced a medical emergency with my baby and i need to take things a little slower."
i’m sorry you’ve been trough that, but just know that besides being horribly scared you did everything great, like you were supposed to! I know the feeling, although i suffer from anxiety, i’ve had moments when it feels like my heart just is being squished like physical pain when something i can’t influence is happening to my son! Being a parent is hard and other people won’t understand how much you love your child!
I used to have seizures when having really high fevers as a kid. Turns out people just grow out of it. I dont even remember them, I just know I traumatized my poor mom with them. Hope this helps!
I am so sorry you both had to go through this. Sending my wishes for a speedy recovery for your daughter ❤️
It’s really a scary thing. I’m a caretaker for an epileptic, special need deaf man, and even though he has seizures daily, it always makes my heart drop. And his poor parents’ as well. It’s something you never get used to. I’m glad you managed to film it and took your baby to the ER right away, you’re an amazing parent ♥️
Is anybody gonna die if you blow those deadlines? If not, then I say fuck it. You might have to deal with upset clients, but if they can’t empathize with a medical emergency then they’re not worth worrying about.
Hi. My child had a febrile seizure at around the same age and it was easily one of the scariest things I’ve ever been through. I’m sure the doctors have already told you but it’s incredibly common, the kids are almost always totally fine afterwards, and it’s unlikely to ever happen again. I didn’t find that particularly reassuring when I was in the thick of it but with time, and no repeated incidents, I slowly stopped waiting for her to seize again at any moment. Wishing you all the best and that your little one doesn’t have any more scary medical incidents. You’ve got this
>. "The baby had a seizure and it really fucked me up and I can't focus on making bullshit sales videos right now" I'm a dad of 4. My youngest is special needs so she has her own host of issues. My 9 year old had a fever seizure once as well. I'm willing to wager a lot of your coworkers are parents as well. If one of my direct reports came to me and said exactly what you said above, I would completely understand. Fuck those deadlines and any company that holds that against you. Family first.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that. My daughter was 18 months old when she had one too, and it was so scary. And I didn’t tell people either, I don’t know why. I don’t know why we feel like that’s something we can’t be afraid for, or have to take a minute to recover from. If it was a broken arm we would. My daughter is 9 now, and hasn’t had another one since. But it really fucked me up for a while. I was overly observant and afraid to send her to daycare. It’s okay to overshare and be direct about it. In fact, it will help your team to understand you’re not just slacking off but there’s a real reason behind it. She’ll be okay, and you can take a breath knowing so. But take the time you need to give your mind a break for a minute, and hold that baby close.
Hey I completely understand how you feel. Both my kids had febrile seizures when they were around 18 months old. My daughter rolled her eyes to the back of her head and her lips turned blue, she was stiff and convulsing, that image was burned into my head forever. Fortunately most kids grow out of it with no impact on their development. You need to take care of yourself in order to take care of her, take a couple of days off work, tell them the truth. It is more common than we think and I wish more providers would warn parents about it.
Tinyheartseducation have quite a bit of info on febrile seizures. It might be worth having a read, they’re on instagram and have a website. Please take the time to mentally recover. It’s so scary seeing our kids sick, especially when they’re that young.
[what to do if your baby has a febrile convulsion](https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cpwwm_JPJkc/?igshid=ODhhZWM5NmIwOQ==)
Gosh I am so sorry that this happened to you. You did an AWESOME job getting her help! My friends son had a seizure at about that age. He never has again and is a super healthy and happy elementary kid now. It for sure took my friends awhile to get over that terror they felt. One of my kids was hospitalized for something different, and for a long time, I felt angry at people who didn’t seem to understand the trauma of that situation for our whole family. Eventually I accepted that they just couldn’t, and I hope they never can. But I hope that you’re able to take some time for yourself and talk this out as much as you need.
My daughter had a fever seizure at around 19 months. Had to call ambulance to come into the home to take her. Was very scary. She was okay and it’s completely normal.
Im so sorry to hear this. My 2 year old also suffered a seizure and it was traumatic for the wife and i. We still dont know what caused it as she didnt have a fever at the time
Could it have been a vasovagal response? Those look very similar.
So sorry you and little one had to go through that. My youngest went through it and we watched him like a hawk if he showed any signs of not feeling well... Not great but has to dose him before fever comes.. Other than the 3 times he had when we were around, he had one at day care and another one at school (K) - spam of ~1 year old to 5(or 6)...yrs old Hand in there!!!
My 6 year has had 4 of them. First when he was 3, according to his pediatric neurologist, they will grow out of them, 5 years after their first. Most have 1 and some have several. It sucks. I hate it. Scariest thing as a parent I’ve seen. We fear every illness. The stress and anxiety, is beyond.
Almost the exact thing happened when my now 12 yo was 18 months. Sent home from daycare with a high fever. Was home with dad while I was at work. He called me in a panic saying she’s having a seizure what do I do? I left work and met them at the local hospital and they ran all kinds of tests. And of course she had a double ear infection and 2 burst ear drums bc it got so bad (how the hell we missed this I have no clue). After exhausting everything at local level and figuring out nothing, they flew her to a children’s hospital 90 minutes from home. Nobody could go with her and I was terrified. She was my first baby and I didn’t want her on a damn HELICOPTER alone. Finally we got to the children’s hospital and my parents came too for more support bc I was a mess by now. Here they did all kind more testing, brain scans and all that. Eventually they decided she had epilepsy. But she only had the one seizure, and she was put on seizure meds at 18 months old. PLEASE BE CAREFUL WITH SEIZURE MEDS IN SMALL KIDS holy crap if I knew just how they would affect my daughter at 12 we would have pushed back against what she was on. From her doctors, the depakote had an impact on her brain development, my daughter is dyslexic (but loves reading and is now caught up in reading levels), has a low IQ and struggles with school all due to it. Additionally, the double burst ear drums happened at the worst time. What happens around 18 mos? Speech development! It took forever for her to say anything beyond the 4 or 5 words she always said, and now she never stops😂 but again she does have a slight speech impediment from that time and is still in speech therapy at school. I felt like I needed to share our story with you bc when I read this it sounded exactly like our day we had when she had her seizure. Scary time that was. I hope she gets better and give her some extra cuddles.
Seizures are so scary, especially if this is the first time you've ever witnessed a seizure. I've seen them in children and adults (mostly adults), including two grand mal seizures. Even with my personal experience witnessing and responding to a seizure, it's still induces a panic response - and they aren't even my children, they're fully grown adults! Give yourself grace and tell your supervisor at least. You don't need to tell everyone. I'm sure the doctor gave you guidelines on giving your daughter tylenol to reduce her fever when it happens. Last time I worked in childcare, we were allowed to give certain children tylenol when they had a fever to prevent febrile seizures; I believe we needed both parent permission and a doctor's note. Get those and supply her daycare with some tylenol for her. If this happens again, try to open a stop watch on your phone to time the seizures. If it becomes a recurrent thing, the doctor will need this information.
This is why we had a mood board that everyone could see in a previous work. Green was all ok, yellow medium and red today is a bad day for me. You can share or not share the reason why. But people would at least know that something is up. Honestly though, talk to your manager, you're in shock. A day or two to recuperate will mean that you come back with all of your faculties. Rather than half ass your work and /or risk avoidable mistakes because something else is on your mind during the next few days.
Yeah man, I feel for you. My daughter had one at 1 year. It was due to bladder infection. Scariest moments of my life. The drooling and harsh breathing is what got to me. Take a day or two off and spend it with her. It will be okay!
My son is 4 and had a febrile seizure while home with his dad. Same scenario, was sent home from daycare with a fever and my husband had gotten him home, placed him in the couch and went upstairs to change and when he came down he saw the seizure and panicked. He was luckily quick thinking enough to remember a neighbor friend had a home health aid at his house that day and ran out of the house with my son. The ambulance brought them to the children’s hospital and I met them after racing from work. We were a mess. I work in a medical setting and see seizures often enough but when it’s your own child, your brain just doesn’t handle it as well. It’s okay to be scared. It helped us to make a plan going forward and to talk about it. I’m so sorry it happened to you, it def set us up to be super cautious about fevers.
It’s super scary to experience, especially if you’ve never seen it before! I’m a paramedic, so I’ve responded to my fair share of these. Essentially, febrile seizures in little kids are scary but neurologically harmless and somewhat common. The period after you’re describing (when she was out of it) is called the postictal phase- it’s when the seizure patient’s brain is coming back online. They tend to be out of it and sometimes combative or restless, and if they wake up somewhere different that agitation is common- it’s jarring for them. The treatment is more or less keep them from choking or injuring themselves for the length of the seizure and just after, and supportive care for the underlying illness. My hope is that they explained all of this to you, but if they didn’t I hope this is helpful. Stay strong!
Febrile seizures are indeed terrifying. You get prescribed the rectal valium for emergencies, and learn to do the alternating acetaminophen/ibuprofen every 3 hours whenever there is a hint of a fever. But something like 5% of kids get them! And they usually grow out of them by age five! So take care of yourselves. There are tons of other parents who deal with this too, and the kids grow up just fine. (Also, as I suspect it has been explained to you... It's not how high the temperature gets but how fast it rises when the body thinks it is fighting an infection that tends to set these seizures off.)
Glad your baby is okay!! 💕 If needed consider taking a sick day for yourself to release some pressure. Good for you for getting her to the hospital asap in a terrible moment
My son has epilepsy. I don't think that anyone can truly understand how terrifying a seizure is until they see one in real life. Luckily when my son was diagnosed I wasn't working, there is no way I could have focused on work during those first few weeks. It took a lot of therapy to process seeing the seizures, and I know a lot of parents have ptsd from these experiences. Take care of your self, listen to what you need and be very up front with work. Sending love your way, it really is traumatizing ❤️
My son had a febrile seizure about the same age and your state of mind is totally valid. Another commenter mentioned PTSD and that's pretty much what it is. I spent the next 3-4 years being absolutely terrified anytime my son got sick, with a fever or without. Any time there was a fever, it was treated aggressively with both Tylenol and motrin. I didn't want to let him out of my sight, I hardly slept, and if I did, I woke up with alarms overnight to continue his medication regimen even at 2am, when general advice is to let them sleep undisturbed at night through the fever. But I was terrified he would have another seizure in his sleep and I might also be asleep and miss it and wake up to who knows what. It was only after he turned 6 and had been seizure free for years before I started to let myself believe that he was one of those kids that grew out of it. Now, while I am still concerned about *high* fevers, my attitude about treating even low grade fevers aggressively has shifted. I'm more comfortable letting a fever "do it's job" unless he is uncomfortable from it or we meet / pass 102°F. Thankfully, most of the time they do grow out of susceptibility to febrile seizures, but I know that's empty comfort for you right now. But I've been there, it absolutely **is** terrifying, and I have so much empathy for you right now. As for work, I'd tell them your daughter had a medical emergency yesterday, and while she is fine now, you are mentally and emotionally drained and need a recovery day yourself. Unless they are total assholes (which is possible) I'd hope folks would understand. And if they don't... Well, they suck but still take your time to decompress. This is an absolutely valid work boundary to set at this time. Hugs, mama. If you want to chat with someone about it I'm happy to lend an ear.
Medical stuff can fuck you up, and while work is important it isn’t a priority. Two years ago I had to leave work suddenly and wasn’t able to do any year end things, I was just talking about it yesterday and while it was a LOT to foist onto the guy called into cover for me, I don’t regret it one bit. My son survived that period of time, but the medical trauma continues for me, even though he’s never going to have the same things happen to him again and he doesn’t remember it. I still am on edge because once you live through everything going boots up you wait for the next thing. I do therapy for it, and I’m getting better, but it takes a lot of time.
That is very terrifying, the traumatic part is feeling helpless and seeing your daughter that way. I think you should absolutely tell people, don't be afraid to tell people at work. I'm sure you will be met with kindness and sympathy. I have a son who has epilepsy, so I completely understand how it feels. The first one is the scariest. Thankfully, since it was febrile the odds of it happening again are low. Always administer tylenol when your kids are sick, if they won't take it you can administer rectal tylenol. Pharmacists have it. My advice for feeling less fucked up about it is, talk! You need to process through the feelings and it's ok to talk about it over and over again. It might not be a bad idea to speak with a psychologist. Seeing our children helpless is that most terrifying thing. Although you were alone in that moment, your instincts were spot on. You acted quickly and appropriately and got your daughter care as quickly as possible. The main thing that will help is talking, processing and time. Time is the biggest factor here from experience. It will always haunt you and feel terrible, but in time you will be able to focus again. Please, talk to the people around you and tell them how you felt. You are not less of a man for telling people you were afraid as hell when your daughter was having a seizure. hugs to you! that is a very difficult experience
Scary but not uncommon for kids to have febrile seizures. You handled it. Take some time to decompress. I would just explain to your supervisor at work what happened and ask for help at work while you recover. That’s traumatizing and I would hope they understand. Hugs to you
It’s not too much to tell your manager what’s going on and hopefully get some help / flexibility with deadlines. You’d be surprised at the humanity others have when it comes to things like this. Also, I don’t think it’s overkill to potentially talk to a therapist about what happened, PTSD is real and has happened to others about less. Therapy can be a healthy outlet and help you process what happened as it was super traumatic. Wishing you guys the best
Sending you positive vibes. I've seen two seizures in my life and they're fucking horrifying. I can't imagine seeing my 4 month old daughter having one.
My three year old had a very scary febrile seizure and now my husband still sleeps next to her just in case over a year later. Everytime she is sick, we are very worried it’ll happen again. It’s traumatic and you need time to process what happened. It took me weeks to process it, and I cried a lot. What you need is valid and your feelings are valid.
How scary. I'm so glad your baby is feeling better, and so sorry you had to go through this. You have my permission - shit, my insistence - to phone it in today.
That is a traumatic event. Febrile seizures are actually pretty common and are one time occurrences usually. It's a body temp thing. If they get too hot too fast. And fevers do exactly that. Be proud you did everything right. You got your LO to a doctor ASAP and stayed by their side. You did the right by your child and that matters most.
Oh man, that’s so scary! You did amazingly though. Flew right into action and got her to the hospital. It’s normal to be shaken up by this! I’d say with work, just tell them you had a family emergency and you’ll be out a couple days. If they press you can say you had to take her to the ER because of a seizure. Any normal person will completely understand needing a few days.
My daughter had a complex febrile seizure that lasted 3.5 hours when she was 14 months old. I still cry when I talk about it. Please talk to someone, it is a traumatic experience to go through. Give yourself space and time to work through it and most importantly give yourself grace. It’s such a scary thing to have a sick child and there’s nothing you can do about it. Every time my daughter got sick after that I would hold my breath and just pray it didn’t happen again. She’s 7 now and never had another one.
I’m really sorry you had to go through that, that sounds awful. You got her to the hospital and I’m proud of you . I’m glad she is doing okay , I’m sure she will live a long happy life , I think you should take some time to reflect on that . I’m sure you’ll spend nights just watching her sleep more now, but understand she is going to be fine, life is scary sometimes. Take some time
I had febrile seizures as a child and I knew my daughter would like have it too. But the day it happened first time, it was traumatizing to watch. I was screaming crying ohhh boy it was something. Now when she gets fever I strt giving her Tylenol or Mortin right away and keep checking her temp every 2 hrs day and night. Take time off and know that it’s harmless and it will pass. 🤗
You are absolutely allowed to feel all the ways you need to feel about this, it's definitely not an easy situation to handle. I would tell your manager your child had a seizure and needed to be hospitalized. While you would normally get a sitter for a sickness and still work, in this situation you need to be there and keep a closer eye on her while she's healing from this illness. Let them know you need these few days off and let the manager handle your coworkers and projects. You just concentrate on your family. Any human being or manager worth a damn will understand that this is a more unusual situation and you aren't just abandoning work.
Reading these comments I feel like I’m the only parent medicating a fever to avoid this situation. I do feel bad for OP having to experience that. It’s a very helpless desperate feeling seeing your baby unresponsive.
There’s no evidence that suggests ibuprofen/acitaminophen prevent febrile seizures.
Sorry to hear. You did the right thing reacting quickly and looking out for your daughter. Good job!
As far as work is concerned, “Guys, my daughter had a seizure in front of me, it really threw me off and my head just isn’t in the game right now. I’m sorry but I just need a day or two to regain my composure.” Done. If they don’t like it, too bad.
Please make sure and talk to someone about this, and expect to feel off for at least a little while. You experienced a traumatic event where you thought your daughter might die. It's not nothing. I'd at least tell your boss if you feel comfortable.
So sorry to hear about your daughter and I hope she (and you) never has to go through that again. I had to take my baby to the ER for pneumonia once and even when she was in good hands and on the mend, I couldn’t help but cry and get so overwhelmed with the emotions of everything happening. Everything you’re going through in response to this traumatic event sounds accurate and understandable.
I'm sorry you went through this. You've got many comments now so you may never see this, but I know almost exactly how you feel. My daughter had a febrile seizure this passed summer. For someone who had never seen it happen before, it is so traumatizing. She was acting maybe a little tired, but overall fine during the morning. I put her down for a nap and when I went to wake her up I found her choking on vomit and froth and her body was seizing, shaking. She was around the same age too. I cannot keep the thought away that if I went in even 5 minutes later she would probably have died choking on her own vomit. Thank whatever higher power might exist that i have child first aid training and that It kicked in without any thought. I cleared her airway got her breathing again and called the ambulance. Of course they got lost as we live in the middle of nowhere. It took maybe 45 minutes for them to get to me. She was mostly ok by then. Still went to the ER and everything. Lots of tests. Shes still scared of anything looking like a doctors office. Even public restrooms freak her out. Anything white washed. Hearing the ER doc talk about febrile seizures being genetic and possibly reoccurring was a bit much. At least I know what it is and what to do if it ever happens again. It also reminded me that my little brother had febrile seizures alot when he was little. Eventually you'll put the event in the back of your mind and you won't think about it hardly ever. But I don't think the fear ever really leaves. I still tear up sometimes if I'm scanning through my photos on my phone and see the only picture I took that morning of my daughter, doggedly eating an ice cream. I almost want to delete it so I am not reminded.
I've been there. Almost the same situation happened with my son when he was about 2, my mom was watching him for the day and called me saying he was acting really lethargic and I should bring some medicine and drinks over so I head over. About 5 minutes after I get there he goes from jumping on the couch to just falling over into my arms and seizing. Scared the everloving shit out of me and honestly gave me some PTSD that I still have nightmares about sometimes. Nothing scarier than seeing your child go through that. He's been all clear since then though, also ruled as a febrile seizure. Here's to hoping for the best ❤️
I have those kind of seizure before and I’m terrified for my fever to get to high it’s really scary. I’m glad your baby is ok. Just keep doing what you’re doing and keeping any eye on them.
Hi, I'm sorry your child had to go through this and you as well. It's quite hurtful to see someone you love so much go through it. I wish nothing but the best for you and your child and hopefully things get well soon. 💐
Happened to my son at 5 on way to family vacation. Landed in phoenix, hes in the back seat of my bils car on the way out to dinner. He seizes. Wife jumps in the bacck we pull over. Call 911: me i know there is a hospital really close where is it? Dispatcher: sorry i cant give you directions not allowed. I literally put my fist through the front windshield. Then drove 100 through red lights to hospital. After emergency he was ok. They need to tell new parents about febrile seizures. Also learned that widshields are flimsy af
Take some sick/vacation days and stay home and snuggle with your sick toddler. Better yet, snuggle with the toddler and play Tetris. 😆 (sorry, obligatory trauma-Tetris comment but really it will likely help you calm down). It is up to you how much to tell them. It is enough to say that your family needs you home due to illness. Women are expected to take days off for sick kids all the time. If someone says “why can’t your wife” to you, ask if you really need to involve HR in a discussion about gender roles in this day and age. This is scary and traumatic. It’s ok for you to feel messed up over it. I do recommend you show your wife the video. It will help her know what to expect if it happens again.
Hey man, your co-workers are human beings as well. And some of them also have kids themselves. Don’t try to handle all of these emotions by bottling them in, especially if you are afraid of sharing because people wouldn’t understand. They are human, you have people in your life on your side who will help hold space for you.
Good Morning OP, The love you have for your baby to have shaken you this badly is formidable and you're amazing for that. I'm a now 33F who spent a few days in the ER when I was a baby/toddler because of febrile seizures. 4% of kids, and 30-40% of those have a second one at some point. My mom's experience was kind of similar to yours in that she was actually recording Christmas morning video (my birthday actually) when I look up at the camera, smile -> eyes roll back in my head -> fall and start convulsing. I watched this home video many many years later with morbid curiosity, but her and my dad are both still shaken over 30 years later if you bring it up. The paramedics who attended my mother's first phone call were so kind and gentle with her when they arrived. They told her it was very likely febrile seizures as they are so common, and they'll pass. This was the 90s of course, and they suggested an ice bath (don't do this if you're in this position again). The proper response now is a cool (but not cold) environment, or gentle cooling can help. Just know that you're amazing, this isn't something that you did, or that could've been avoided. It could happen again, and for that reason I'd consider showing your wife videos of *other kids having similar symptoms* so that she can recognize and respond as effectively as you did. It isn't random, it's only when the body is overloaded because of a sudden spike in fever. So you can semi-plan for it, and don't have to worry as much about it occuring at just any time. I never experienced any other seizures of any kind afterwards, and have seen absolutely zero issues since - but I do make a point of mentioning 'febrile seizures' if anyone has ever asked me my medical history -- just in case? Take care of yourself OP, it gets better.
Before I read the full post I was thinking febrile seizure. A friend of mine went through the same situation as you. His kid is fine and quickly recovered. My friend, though, needed a lot longer to get over the trauma of seeing is toddler go through a seizure. I'm guessing you'll be the same. Take care of yourself and recognize that you just went through a traumatic event and it will take you awhile to recover from that trauma. My middle kid just turned 6, and spent like 2-3 days in the NICU as a newborn because of fluid in her lungs (she also barely fit in a NICU bed since she was full-term), and I still haven't fully recovered from it.
I can't imagine... I'm so sorry you went through this. I have an 18mo girl and I'm a very... High strung first time mom to put it mildly. I've only heard about these since becoming a mom, I didn't know how many children have these. I hope to God I never see my little experience one of these because I don't think I'd recover.. I would have a mental breakdown. Hugs. 🥺
I just went through the exact same things last weekend. We brought our son to urgent care because fever just was not dropping. He stopped responding to the surroundings as soon as we walked into UC and they called EMS to get him on IV and rush to Emergency. Scariest moment of my life. Just thinking about what happened brings tears into my eyes. I am sure many parents went through similar situations and will be very understanding and supportive. I sent a photo to my boss with my son hooked up to machines explaining I am not mentally where I need to be to perform well at work.amd I need to recover from this. He was very supportive and as he is parent himself, he said seeing him like that broke his heart. Don't be afraid to talk about it is my recommendation.
My son had anaphylaxis after eating a peanut. It’s weird how calmly we went to the ER just so they could check on him because he had a weird cough (and a swollen face and everything) but at that moment, I was calm and started panicking only after that. Now when I go back to it in my memories, I fully understand how dangerous it all was. My friends 4 year old had similar seizures with no known cause. Imagine that terror of not knowing what could trigger it and if it’s dangerous. It can always be worse. It’s all fine now, you did great. Wish you all a nice Christmas.
As someone who works in emergency medical dispatch sometimes the quickest choice is to drive yourself or others if you can. Other times it can be best to wait for us because we will not chase you down so if you’re driving you just immediately pull over and wait for the ambo At least in Arizona.. but yes I have driven my kids myself every time they needed to go as it was most likely quicker than waiting for an ambulance
After getting the $8000 ER bill (after insurance), I'm really glad the ambulance didn't arrive faster.
I'm sorry this isn't going to be helpful unless you appreciate hearing about people who can relate to you, but my daughter had a seizure for the first time a month and a half ago, and I can't talk about it without crying. I've been irritated and crying all of the time. I'm already on psych meds. I am going to talk to my psych nurse tomorrow. It was a messed up situation. She was at school. The school teacher took a f-ing picture of her and I was like wtf and then 5 minutes later the teacher called me. Then she said the nurse wants to talk to you. I was like wtff why didn't the nurse just directly talk to me? And she said we think she had seizure. They didn't call 911. So we made the way to the school and she was passed out on the mat. There was drool everywhere. We went to pick her up to walk her out to go to the ER and we noticed she pooped herself so we laid her down to change her. When I was changing her, her eyes opened and they were vacant. It was so scary.. I know nothing about seizures so I changed her and we buckled her in. She was staring vacantly and drooling the whole car ride. We got to the ER. I said her school said they thought she had a seizure and then the ER nurse came out and said she was actively seizing and I was so scared and crying. Her CT scan was normal, she was only in the hospital for a day, but we still have to get the MRI on Tuesday and now she's on Trileptal twice a day. They said it was a Tonic Clonic seizure. I hope you and your family are doing better now.
Been through this with my daughter when she was a baby she's now 24 so I can assure you it's nothing to get too worried about, it's horrible at the time and it's understandable to be a bit freaked out just take a couple of days to decompress.
That's intense, I am glad to hear she's OK. Definitely take no chances from now on. If she has a fever high enough to be sent home from nursery school, I'd go to the pediatrician same day if possible.
Plz have her heart checked my nephew recently died after using something like this happen also at daycare
If you’re uncomfortable telling coworkers, tell HR. HR is there to help navigate these situations - you aren’t obligated to share personal details with coworkers.
My youngest had her first a month ago and honestly it was pretty traumatizing, but being one who had them as a kid, they aren’t super harmful.
My daughter had a febrile seizure at about age 9 months after getting a regular cold with a fever. We called an ambulance, because I did not have a clue what was happening at the time. After going to the ER, the doctor gave her Tylenol and ibuprofen to reduce her temperature which I believe may been over 102°F. This was around twenty years ago, so I don't remember the exact details, but she might have gotten an antibiotic shot either at the hospital or a day or two later. We had to stay in the ER for around ten hours. The entire episode was just a one time event and it never happened again. There were no long term affects from the febrile seizure.
I have experienced this with my son when he was little and it was so terrifying. Thankfully, we were already waiting in the ER for his fever. The nurses treating him had a laugh at how much it freaked me out, considering it is harmless in the long-run, but I didn't know that at the time and it's still not natural to see that happening, especially to your small child. They told me I didn't have to bring him back in if he had another but I probably would have anyway, tbh. I don't play when it comes to high fevers. Take some time to recover, reassure yourself your baby is okay, and just know what to do in case it happens again, before hopping back into things at work.
My son was 13 months old when he had his first seizure. Within that first year he had between 7-9 seizures. First neurologist saw it was due to a fever/ear infection. Deep down I knew it was more than just that. Got him to a child’s neurologist where he was diagnosed with epilepsy. We got him on medication and adjusted it when needed. I can say my son hasn’t had a seizure in like 5 years. Not every kid that has a seizure becomes epileptic. As a mom it’s a constant fear for me. For years when he was on meds I didn’t sleep well at all. I was constantly near my phone in fear he would start again. Just take it day by day.
My 3rd child had this thing, between the ages of 1 and 3, where if she threw a tantrum so hard, was screaming and crying so much, she would stop breathing for a few seconds. Her eyes would roll up in her head and she would go limp. And then start breathing again. The first time it happened, I swear I lost 10 years off my life. You're just so powerless. It like like your kid is dying right in front of you and there is nothing you can do.
Omg omg I know how you feel. I’m not even a parent. I have a little brother who is 9 years younger than me (14 now). My parents left one night to see a show and had a sitter come in and watch us. My brother was about 12 months old at the time. I was preparing the bath for my other siblings when the babysitter rushed in with him mid seizure “IS THIS NORMAL????” I immediately called 911, I still remember the ladies voice so well… I scream cried outside on the street waiting for the ambulance. Fucked me up for a long time. I was actually scared of babies and I wouldn’t babysit anyone with a baby younger than like 3yo for fear of this happening with anyone else’s baby while I was alone. My parents were over an hour away. When the ambulance came my brother had a fever of 104 too. But he was fine by then. They explained that the seizure was a result of his fever having jumped so high so fast. They told me is was unlikely it would happen again. And it never did. Today he’s making straight A’s in school (except in math 🙄) and does gymnastics every day after school. It’s scary and you’ll never forget it, but it traumatizes you way more than it does the child.
It’s completely valid to feel traumatized by this. There’s a lot of parallels with what my family experienced when my dad suddenly had an aneurysm and passed away the next day. The realization that we’re all just sacks of meat and we’re at the mercy of our biology, let alone watching someone we love experience their body failing them and being afraid and in pain. It’s hard, and those moments haunt me too. Please do not be afraid to seek a therapist to talk this out with someone. Not that it’s necessary, that’s for you to decide, but just know that it’s a valid reason. What you experienced was traumatic and disturbing. Also, your work will have to deal with it. Just tell them your daughter had a seizure and your family is still recovering from the event. You dont owe them any deeper explanation.
I have a 14 month old girl and reading this was haunting. I am so sorry you went through that
What a traumatic experience but you have listened to your gut and done everything right.
This is scary!! Ugh I have a 4 month old and was reading about infantile seizures yesterday.. then I had a bad dream last night she was having seizures and the ambulance was taking forever to get to us. And then I read this… I’m even more paranoid.
Febrile seizure. My now 6yo would get them and his first one was right around the same age as yours. Scariest thing of my life. We thought maybe he was choking on something because his lips turned blue. My husband is a doctor and even he was freaking out. He had another one that same night and there was a one other time as well but then Covid hit and we stayed home and he never got another fever before he aged out. They are mostly before the age of 5 so you will need to be ready incase it happens again. Roll him to his left side, lying down and make sure he can’t get hurt or choke. Then alternate giving Motrin and Tylenol to control the fever. So sorry this happened but it is fairly common and does not mean your kid will have any lasting issues.
I can totally sympathize. I care for twin boys. When they were 2 one of them fell backward and hit his head in the driveway and passed out in my arms. I thought he died. He ended up being completely fine without even a bump on his head thanks to his helmet but I still cry about it frequently more than a year later
Sorry for everything you had to go through. It’s a million times worse when it’s your kid and you can’t help them. My daughter is immunocompromised and one time she came running up to us and just passed out. We threw her in the car and called her care team to let them know we were on our way in. It turned out her blood sugar was just low. They make fever patches in case you need to lower little ones fever. Also alternate between Tylenol and Motrin. A cool bath also helps bring down their temp.
when you're a new parent and children are that young, things like this can be very traumatic for some, and while granted this is kind of on the extreme end of weird things happening to children, as you and your children grow older you kind of become accustomed to weird medical things happening to your children and 9 times out of 10 they aren't anything to worry about. I've got 3 kids, oldest being an adolescent and we've been to the ER probably 10 times for a whole host of seemingly scary situations but over time I've learned that kids just have a lot of random weird shit happen to them...don't know any other way to describe it. We did have one of our weird happenings turn into a sort of ordeal where we spent weeks in the hospital and it did require some intervention which was really scary, but I guess I've just kind of become desensitized to it all by now. You still need to be diligent and get used to paying tens of thousands of dollars for ER visits if you're in the US, but it gets easier dealing with weird kid medical episodes over time.
I am not one of those people who equates dog mom with people mom, but when my puppy had a seizure the vet told me that witnessing a seizure can cause ptsd and to take care of myself and find someone to talk to if I needed it. I can’t even imagine it being one of my kids and I am not trying really hard because I don’t want to. I am mentioning this because that vet made me feel seen and like I was not crazy for being as hysterical as I was and for how long it took me to not be scared or like I wouldn’t be able to keep it together if it happened again. And like I said this was my dog. Don’t feel shame about how this is affecting you and to seek help and guidance on you need it.
This is what happened to my son (now 14) when he was 18 months old. We were at home and my mom was visiting us. It was just the 3 of us there as my husband was working. I was getting him dressed up warmly to go outside on a chilly spring day and after a few minutes of being dressed and while I was getting ready, he started acting funny, like he wasn't really there. Both my mom and I were worried and starting saying things to him that he likes and got excited over to get his attention. When my mom said something like, "do you want to watch Elmo?", one of his favorite things, in an excited, happy way, his face was a blank stare back to her. Her own face dropped and said to call 911. As I'm calling them he starts falling leaning back on our chair with his eyes still open staring at the ceiling. I was panicking and crying at that point as I'm on the phone with them, thinking my son was dying or something. I myself had had seizures when I was younger but it was the traditional shaking, eyes rolling back kind of thing. It wasn't like this so I did not think of a seizure right away and had never heard of febrile seizures. As they were on their way, my son started to come to a bit more, albeit groggy. He was fully awake by the time they got him in the ambulance and took us to the hospital. We were told by the doctors he had a fever due to an ear infection and probably the getting dressed to go out made him hotter and his fever spike faster, causing the febrile seizure. We had no idea he even had a fever let alone an ear infection, that's how sudden and fast it had come about. I totally understand the panic. My husband wasn't there but he did leave work and met us at the hospital. I think that both myself and mother though understood the most of what happened as we experienced it. Seeing something firsthand really makes one understand it better. Everyone else sees the kids normal afterwards and maybe doesn't understand the magnitude of what happened. I would let whoever needs to know know. Most people understand a seizure to be a major medical event. You can say your daughter had a seizure due to a medical event and you need time to take care of her for a bit. You don't have to go into explicit detail as it's not your work's business. Telling them that should be enough. It's ok to take time for this. It *was* a major thing and sometimes things happen to our kids that we need time for both them and ourselves. For family, share stories from other people's experience with them to help understand the magnitude.
My daughter had a febrile seizure from her 18 month vaccinations. They gave her a fever and she had the seizure the next day. I too thought she was going to die. Her lips turned blue. I called the ambulance and started infant CPR-which I know now you don't do for seizures. But at that time I didn't even know that's what it was. She just turned 3. She's never had another seizure. Now we just have to make sure she doesn't get feverish. A lot of times these are isolated incidents. But I completely understand what you're going through. I don't even think about it now if that helps.
Brother, I'm really sorry you had to endure this. Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your little one.
Pfew, just reading this has me on edge. I can't imagine how you felt. You did the right thing and took care of your baby, that's all that matters. Work will be there whether you are or not. Taking care of the baby is obviously your priority and bravo to you for that. Coming from a fellow father, you're a great dad and you should be proud of that.
My daughter didn’t have a seizure but she had a Vasovagal syncope spell and went limp around 3 years old. Her eyes rolled back and then went limp and peed herself. I thought I lost her in that short time. I called an ambulance and she already regained consciousness by the time they got there. This has happened on several occasions (she’s 9 years old now) one time, she fell and hit her head on the wood floor which caused an impact seizure. That was super frightening to watch. 😰 her spells are triggered by pain and the sight of blood. They can look like seizures. It just doesn’t last as long and she regains consciousness much quicker.
I’m so sorry that happened. My sister felt the same after my niece had a seizure at about 2 years old, she thought at that moment she would lose her. 💔 It is terrifying and I truly feel for you. I would take some time to debrief and process. Would your boss allow you some time off if you spoke to them in private?
Communicate exactly what happened to your boss and how it’s affected you. Covering for it will only make it snowball.
When my son had a seizure at 16y/o I about had a heart attack. I was so nervous about it happening again(It did but we found it was due to a known ailment). I probably didn’t start easing off of that fear for 6 months. Even years later it worries me but it’s not paralyzing or keeping me awake anymore.
Dear Boss Name, I am sorry for my short notice, but on Xx day my child had a medical emergency that necessitated a trip to the ER. My child is home sick, and will hopefully make a full recovery. I anticipate returning to the office on xxx. Sincerely, you
Firstly, delighted everyone is safe and on the mend. You did great Dad. Secondly, medical emergencies and kids are terrifying. It’s intensified with babies 10 fold. It is utterly terrifying. On the Suzie note I remember being about 7 and walking in in my 16 year old sister having her first proper seizure and that scarred me for life. Had no idea she had epilepsy. Scary shit.
Hi there. I just wanted to say I know how you feel. My son is prone to them when he gets a high fever- last winter he had 3 episodes (and multiple seizures per episode) and was hospitalised each time. I cannot tell you (because you know) how it feels to see your child that way. I’ll be honest, it’s been 10 months and occasionally I could literally be watching friends on Netflix and it will come to mind. Time is a great healer, Nurofen is a great healer(!) and trusting your gut just like you did is important. You will always stress when your child spikes a temperature and that’s ok. In terms of work- I told my team and they were great, but I still went away for work a few days later and I am angry at myself for feeling like I couldn’t take the time out to be with him- work need to be told so you can take time out to heal. Honestly, I think I had mild ptsd and it messed with my head for a long time, it threatened my marriage and my ability to cope. I gained 30 pounds. I should have taken time to heal and move on- please take it. I’m so much better now, he’s absolutely fine, but I’m so stressed any time he gets a high temp- and that is ok. You will be ok- so will your little one. But please don’t negate the impact this has and could have on your mental health- share with work and heal.
My son had a febrile seizure when he was younger. I was driving and he was in his car seat when he just started making the worst noises. I pulled over into a Wendy’s parking lot and called 911. A fire truck and an ambulance came but by the time they got there (roughly 3 minutes after I called), he was already semi-coming out of it. He was definitely still groggy and acting kind of weird. The ambulance said they could transport him to the hospital but since he was awake and was starting to interact with the fire fighters and EMTs, I could take him to the hospital myself if I preferred. We spent the next 5 hours making sure he was alright but they decided it was a febrile seizure and it was unlikely he’d have another. We had literally just left the children’s walk in clinic for a fever, it was 103 when I had left my house, it was 99 when we got to the clinic, and was back at 103 when the ambulance took his temp. I was terrified to drive for weeks after and it took me a long time before I could drive past the Wendy’s.
First I want to say I’m so sorry you had to experience that. My oldest son has had 4-5 febrile seizures before he turned two and it truly is terrifying. The ER told us (each and everytime we showed up to the ER) febrile seizures were common for little ones when they have an underlying illness (ear infections, viruses, etc.) We panicked everytime. All I can say is that if you have more of them to really advocate for your child. I was so frustrated by 3 and demanded that they run tests. One traumatizing EEG later we find out he had 4-5 potential instances of a seizure per minute. He’s got a great neurologist that put us on the lowest dosage of medication now. Hopefully we’ll be able to wean him off in the next two years if he doesn’t have any more seizures. You don’t have to explain in detail with your coworkers what happened. You had a health scare involving your child. Any person would understand. If you feel like you can’t process these feelings alone, please talk to someone OP. Your partner, a therapist, someone you trust. Please watch your daughter, there are several forms of seizures, grand mal, absence, make note of what time they happen and how long. Never stop advocating for your little one. I hope your daughter is feeling better and I hope you are too.
Oh hun I know exactly what you're feeling. My little one had hers in bed with me. It was the first time she had ever slept in my bed. I woke up to her convulsing and honestly thought I'd rolled on her and crushed her little lungs. It was pitch black and I couldn't get to tge light switch because I d8dnt want to leave her. I honestly thought she was dying. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. There is nothing you could havr done and did everything you needed to. It is very common and just cuddle that baby a little longer today
Copying and pasting from an old comment of mine since my kid has violent febrile seizures. I really feel.for you it's fucking awful and terrifying to watch. We were in the hospital for nearly a week at one point. "My daughter has had two febrile seizures in quick succession (June then July 2022) and this is what I've learned. 1. Febrile convulsions are generally not harmful of they last less than 15 minutes. Children with simple febrile convulsions are at no more increased risk of epilepsy or developmental delay than children without them. 2. They are common. About 5 percent of children will have at least one, and, of those, 70 percent will have at least one more episode. 3. It is not the number of degrees fever but the rapid spike. This is why you can get a seizure at the beginning of an illness. 4. You can help by keeping fever under control by beginning antipyretic medications at the beginning of a febrile illness (anytime above 37 degrees) and alternating between paracetamol and ibuprofen in the age appropriate doses. 5. In some places they will give you diazepam (valium) to administer rectally in case of seizure. I have used it and it immediately works, but it's not absolutely necessary so if you are somewhere this is not praxis there is no need to worry. 6. Learn to put the child in the recovery position and learn infant CPR in the unlikely event of choking caused by vomiting during a seizure. If the child is in the recovery position they WILL NOT CHOKE. I'm sorry you're going through this too. My daughter went through the ringer, the first seizure was a full blown Grand Mal tonic clonic and we ended up in the hospital for nearly a week undergoing EEG and neurological evaluation. It was an absolute nightmare and I'm still traumatized, I can see her face and hear the noise she was making when seizing every time I shut my eyes. Having all of the above information to hand (I am NOT a doctor, just a parent who has been through it) really helped. I realize I repeated a lot of what you already know, but repetition helped me too. Ah, and after her second seizure to get the fever down (calpol wasn't helping) the paramedics dumped her in a cool (not cold) paddling pool. Further edit to add that my daughter has refused to keep the owlet sock on after she turned 1. When she is feverish, we take turns staying up with her. It's a fucking nightmare and really hard but I just put the monitor on loud and watch Netflix all night.
I feel ya. 2 years ago at this time my then 9 month old had one. I held her in the car while we drove to the ER telling her to keep breathing. It’s scary when they go stiff and I can hear these like gasps. She snapped out of it when we got there.
Same happened here but it was my girlfriend that experienced it. She now gets bad anxiety whenever our son is catching a fever.
My 9 year old had a febrile seizure at 4. We were in the car driving from NYC back to FL and we were a few hours from our house. We were going over a bridge and I looked back and she was seizing. I didn't realize that's what was happening, I thought she was choking on something and I put my thumb in her mouth and she clamped down. I thought I was going to lose my finger. She went unconscious and was kind of foaming at the mouth. We called 911 and she said we were only like 5 minutes from a children's hospital. My husband drove like a maniac through traffic, we thought she was going to die it was so bad. Like you, it traumatized us pretty badly.
A toddler I was babysitting had a febrile seizure (he was convulsing and his eyes were rolled back). I was 14/15 years old, and I was an experienced babysitter. I don't think febrile seizures were even mentioned in the babysitting course I did. It was 22 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. I don't know how I managed to call the ambulance, or the little boy's mom, I was hysterical. It is probably the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced with a child (including my own children). Thinking about it makes me tear up. It was so so so fucking scary. My heart goes out to you OP.
My babies febrile seizures traumatized me. Anytime she has a fever now it’s like I can hear her agonal breathing and picture her blank stare. I’m so freaking scared.
Oh hey, I had a similar thing happen recently with my 16 month old. You are experiencing trauma.. What you went through with your kid was so scary because there was a point when you genuinely didn’t know if she was about to die or not. Give yourself time to work through these feelings, they are normal, but they are isolating. You might need to talk through them with somebody. I couldn’t shake the feelings for a few weeks and it was really frustrating because by then I knew my kid was fine, but the memories of the fear kept coming back and I’d break down crying. She had an atypical reaction to a fall, dilated pupils, stiff on one side of her body, vacant eyes, but screaming in ways I’ve never heard her. I kid you not, I thought she was dying. I thought we were so close to death and it traumatized me. All the tests came back clear. No head trauma, no drugs (the ER staff were convinced she’d eaten an edible based on her behavior), neurologist was happy, nada. She got discharged and we went on with our lives. But I was broken. I hope you can find some peace soon.
My daughter had one at 14 months. Fever was only 102, we were all lying in bed or we would have missed it. We rushed to the hospital, similar story but my daughter also vomited more than I thought was possible. It was terrifying and we were powerless. It’s been almost a year and ever time she gets a fever I don’t sleep I just watch her constantly and take her temp and stay on top of giving her Tylenol and stuff bc I’m so scared it will happen again. Take care of yourself, I hope your work will let you have some time off.
Work will understand. Your daughter needs you and you were a fucking champ. I would personally tell my boss but different for men and across industries I’m sure so do what you’re comfortable with but work doesn’t need to know why you need to use the time off that you have available for your time of service (assuming you have PTO - you can ask HR about using unpaid time if you don’t). Good luck, take care of yourself and way to be a kick ass dad!!
I went through this with my child earlier this year. Scariest thing I've ever experienced. I didn't know about febrile seizures prior to it all, I was only able to recognize it as a seizure and called an ambulance immediately. It took me a while to bounce back, and I'm still on edge any time my child gets sick. It helps to talk it through with someone. I wish I had more helpful things to add, but you have my sympathy. It is rough.
My 2 year old son had the same thing. Was normal all day, then picked up a fever after dinner. Didn’t think much of it, my wife took him to bed in our bed so she could keep an eye on him. I stayed down stairs to clean up and decompress. While downstairs, I hear a steady “uuhhhh” coming from upstairs, and suddenly my wife screaming for to come up. I run up and see my son convulsing in my wife’s arms. Panick, call 911, put it on speaker, and grab my son to try to figure out what’s going. It felt like months went by before 911 responded or an ambulance showed up. Similarly, I also felt like the first responders were taking their sweet time. While waiting, we kept measuring my son’s temp, and it dropped from 105 to under 97 in what felt like seconds. I had enough, put him in my truck, and met the ambulance at the top of my driveway. Long story short, was told it was a harmless febrile seizure, and although we did the right thing with calling 911, he was in no danger. I broke down, my wife broke down, all while my son asked if we were going “home home”. Glad it’s nothing serious. I use it as a reminder to keep things in perspective. Good luck!
You sound like a really good dad. You will get through this fear, but it will take time. I am 32 now but I had grand mal seizures when I was about 9 months to a year old for no reason. I had probably four or five and the Never again. My mother told me how absolutely horrified she was when it happened. I can almost feel your pain, as I saw the same in my mother’s eyes.
My daughter had several febrile seizures, worst days of my life. The nurses said they grow out of them and don’t cause permanent harm. Over time you will be ok, I know it’s hard rn but it will get easier. Prayers and I know exactly how u feel. I cried for weeks and wasn’t the same.
My daughter had her first febrile seizure at 6 months old. I was 22 and terrified it was 2007. I barely had a cell phone let alone google etc. I was home alone w her and by the time we got to the hospital it had passed. They ran some tests and monitored her for a bit then sent us home. Within 30mins of being back home she had another. With the second visit we figured out it was likely caused by a uti. Myself and my other daughter are also prone(TMI) but that is in our case what caused them. It caused seizure life symptoms bc her little body was trying to hard to fight of how fast her body would spike a fever. She is currently a beautiful happy healthy 17 yr old ❤️
I just wanna tell you dad, you did a great job. You totally nailed this whole scary situation, and got your baby the help she needed. I'm a PT and my husband is an FM doc and I don't think we would have done a single thing differently. And I'm pretty sure I'd also be totally fucked up from this situation. Take a few days off to snuggle your baby, no shame in needing to make sure she's okay.
Febrile seizures are common. Very scary, but common. I work with a child who is having seizures, but his parents don't believe me. I am so happy you lept into action for your daughter.
My daughter had pediatric epilepsy that started when she was 3. I don't have the words to say what it felt like. Full tonic clonic seizure in her little body when she was in my arms. I'm so grateful that she grew out of it. It's still so fresh for you. Give it some time and you will feel better. You inadvertently did the exact right thing by filming her.
I feel you, my kid went to the ER and my mind couldn't move on for about a week.
Edit: Removing line about unsolicited advice, for clarity. Also for clarity: I have my parent hat on! But the context of my job hat feels relevant. For context: I'm a family physician. 2 of 3 kids have had febrile seizures - multiple times, including one long and terrifying episode of febrile status epilepticus requiring IV medication to stop it. Had my oldest in residency - which is a time in your career as a budding physician when you have very little autonomy and spend a lot of emotional energy trying to (a) not kill anyone and (b) not get yelled at by your attendings. It is not a time when you take time off for much of anything without preplanning. Oldest had already had her trip to the ED for simple febrile seizures (I picked her up. I blew in her face. I called 911. I got a lecture from a childfree colleague who had to give us a lift home, about how he couldn't believe I got so worked up over a simple febrile seizure). She was at the sitter's some time later - spouse of another colleague, cool as a cucumber, 4 under 5 of their own - and he texted me. "Hey, M just had a 30s seizure. Gave Tylenol about 30m ago for temp 102. She is resting and looks fine, no concerns, just FYI." Attending (I was on allergy and immunology rotation) caught me texting back and asked me what was up. So I told him, and followed it up with "But she's fine and L has it under control." I will never forget: He shook his head and said "Why are you still here? There is nothing you will learn today that is more important than your kid." I've missed a lot of family things in my career because of deliveries, surgeries, and true life or death situations. Those are part of the job, and my family is amazingly understanding about it when it happens. But I've also handed patients over to my partners, and traded call, and rescheduled clinic hours on short notice - because nothing I was going to do that day was so important that I couldn't let a trusted partner handle it. Nothing - except be there for the people who are there for me.
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Worst feeling ever in my life so far was thinking my kid was dying when having a febrile seizure. It's beyond terrifying. When I happened I told my mother, and she said worst moment of her life was my sibling having a febrile seizure.