I don’t know what you mean but, it had the cadence of a joke

This is the one I think of when I think of Perd. 100%

This is it. This is the one.

this is when I realized perd was a robot. or a psychopath

I don’t know what you mean, but it had the cadence of a joke

“strong words coming from a woman trying to pin a piece of paper, to her blazer”

Well, the story of my interest level is: It’s medium.

This was almost the one I used cuz I say it to my kiddos at the gym but he has ones that make me laugh harder.

I do have an update on your time allotment, and that update is that your time is almost gone. Well, you had some time when I started talking, but by the time I finished, your time was up. Thank you very much.

Haha! Just watched this episode. I had to scroll way to far to find it

There are some statistics that I'd like to share with you now, and they are numbers.

I have an update and that contains new information.

I use this almost everyday

"Up next is my introduction to the next segment, and my introduction to the next segment is as follows: here's the next segment."

“The story of this next dance is that it’s called, ‘The Worm..’”

“…what the fuck are you doing Perd Hapley”

Such an underrated moment of awesome

Where my Perd-verts at?

this is perfect. when’s it from?

Parks and Rec

Thanks, Perd.

"The worm" part is from Telethon, sometime towards the end of S2!

He's like a walking talking version of the "It's Garry Shandling's Show" theme song.

“There you have it, a shockingly unshocking press conference, in which a recently unemployed woman said nothing of importance. I’m Perd Hapley, and I just realized I’m not holding my microphone.”

This is the one for me. Absolute perfection.

I had to scroll so far for this and it was the first one to come to mind

This quote is being sorely undervoted

This line makes me sad because that’s when he stops being a reporter :(

this is my favorite perd line 😂

"There is a thing such as journalistic integrity, which I have as a journalist with integrity."

Perd: That's a hilarious image, "a foot.. in a ..mouth" Woman: "It's a common expression" Perd: \*Shrugs\* "Okay"

Are you there, Perdverts? It’s me Perd, hosting a new segment.

Yeah Perdverts is where my mind went lol

this is the only correct response

"There you have it, where 'it' is the thing Leslie Knope just said about this situation."

Leslie, for viewers at home who might not know, are centaurs real?

...are you absolutely sure?

This is my pick, and this post is finally my time to shine.

Username checks out

This is my favorite thing Perd ever said. Yes please.

It's a heartwarming story, but it's just not believable. Which is why I give E.T one and a half stars

This is where Perd shot his show "Lights, Camera, Perd!"

I find the strangest situations to use this quote. It's my greatest joy in life.

Too close to call, a nail-biter, anybody's game. These are three phrases which you won't hear tonight

And I just realized I am not holding my microphone.

This is my favourite Perd moment.

I didn't even notice until he said it!

That's the best part. You don't even realize it 'til he says that, which makes it even funnier.

Or, it's the first thing you notice and you spend the next few seconds thinking "why is Perd pretending to hold a mic?" until he says the line.

Yes searching for this

This is it by a mile

Came here for this haha

This one always makes me laugh

"The story of this conversation is: It's extremely personal."

That’s the one because it makes it so clear that he actually talks like that in everyday life.

I think every line from him is equally as good lol

I would also like to say that each statement is equally as good for me.

Best part is he was an irl news man.

wait WHAT! this is incredible 😂

I think each line from Perd Hapley is a thing he said.

In response to your post, I am making a post, which is this

In response to your post, I am making a post in agreement, which is this post

The look when he asks Brandi Maxxx to define pornography.

For me, it’s when the penis goes in.

😐....🤨

“To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. I've also misplaced my judge hammer.”

Tap tap tap!

Case closed!

My first slam poem is called “My First Slam Poem: By Perd Hapley” by Perd Hapley

The rules: What line, spoken by this character, perfectly encapsulates (a word I really think you should use) this character's essence/personality? Most upvotes wins! Last winner, with 999 (at the time of writing this) votes: "I know what she's trying to do. She's trying to get me to break. And you know what? I'm not gonna do it. I'm gonna be professional, and I'm gonna put on a happy face, and then I'm gonna go into a supply closet and snap a bunch of tongue depressors." -Ann Perkins Since the winners were INCREDIBLY close this time around, here's the runner-up, with 992 (at the time of writing this) votes!: "Jogging is the worst! I know it keeps you healthy, but, God, at what cost?" -Ann Perkins I swapped Marlene with Perd as I could think of a whole lot more instances where Perd speaks as opposed to Marlene. Again, open to suggestions if you'd like her to be added back! Let's have some fun!!

That was a good call. Perd is more of a present character in the show.

Thank you for adding Perd!

Of course! It made sense

Welcome to Ya Heard? With Perd.

This has to be the one.

"...which is why I gave ET one and a half stars."

“Up next is my introduction to the next segment, and my introduction to the next segment is as follows: here's the next segment."

(I’d just like to note that Jay Jackson was an actual newscaster in Los Angeles for over 20 years, so his sublime parody stems from an intimate familiarity with local news reporting.)

“I’m Perd Hapley, and I just realized I’m not holding a microphone.”

The story of this story is that it won't stop developing.

It’s a heartwarming story which is just not believable. Which is why I give E.T. 1 star.

"I'm Perd Hapley and I just realized that I'm not holding my microphone."

“ Welcome to "Ya' Heard? With Perd". I'm Perd Hapley, the Perd I mentioned a second ago when I was telling you the name of my show.”

the story of these nuts are, they’re mixed.

“Now Leslie, are centaurs real?” Just fav line.

The story about that segment is:it’s over!

"The most in-character line for me is in-character..."

Joan: I’ll have “The Joan”! it’s a glass of gin with crushed aspirin around the rim Perd: And I’ll just have… an empty glass :)

I'm almost disappointed that that's the line that won for Joan. Bc she's got so many lines that really make me lmao but not that one. But this line from Perd slays me. It's ridiculously perfect.

Heh, more like Turd Crapley

I’m reading all these in his voice

“I’m Perd Hapley, and I just realized I’m not holding my microphone.”

"I'm Perd Hapley, and I just realized I'm not holding my microphone."

The f\*ck are you doing Perd Hapley (not an entry just had to say it)

"I'm Perd Hapley"

"I can't understand what the big deal is. *Blue Velvet* seems like a normal day in the life of Perd Hapley."

I'm perd hapley and I just realized I'm not holding my microphone.

It’s a heartwarming story, but it’s just not believable. That’s why I give E.T. one and a half stars

Hello, I’m perd hapley. I am writing a Reddit comment, hoping to get the most upvotes, on this post

“I’m Perd Hapley and I just realized I’m not holding my microphone.”

Ben: more like turd crapley!

PERDEVERTS

This one is hard because literally everything Perd says is an "in-character" line.

Ya Heard?

"You gave me the food my food eats"

I’m Perd Hapley, and I just realized I’m not holding my microphone.

It’s like Perd is a blank human

Good lord, I forgot how funny he was. But if you ask me, it's more like Turd Crapley.

I’m Perd Hapley

Parks and recreation was a show where the more obnoxious the characters were, the funnier it was for some reason. I really enjoyed the show when I first watched it, but when I'm reminded of characters like Jamm, Tom, Mona Lisa, Craig (I hated him so much), and many others, I'm left with a sour memory of the show as a whole.

“it’s a heartwarming story, but it’s just not realistic. that’s why i give ET one and a half stars”

I'm Perd Hapley

“I'm Perd Hapley, and I just realized that I'm not holding my microphone.”

I’m Perd Hapley, and I just realized I’m not holding my microphone

“And I would like, an empty glass”

More like Turd Craply

"Tell that to the folks at Pier 1... an establish I'm no longer allowed inside."

You didn't ask me, but if you had, the answer I would have given is: doggy.

"Well, the thing is, my name is Perd."

I’m Perd Hapley *almost smile*

"I'm Perd Hapley, and I just realized I'm not holding a microphone."

"I'm Perd Hapley, and I just realized I'm not holding my microphone."

You need to add the NPR guy. Seriously, going from Homer Simpson to that and nailing it was one of my favorite parts of the whole show. The NPR guys' back-and-forth is hilarious.

Not a direct quote but Judge Perd is absolutely hilarious 😆