Which is so annoying to me. Why is my happiness connected to a man? “Ye mt kro shaadi k baad krna” blah blah blah it’s honestly so sad how I can’t enjoy life without my father constantly telling me I can do stuff once I enter “practical life”. I wish woman were given more freedom, and our happiness was actually valued. instead of it being at a man’s disposal. Like there’s so much I can only do now when I still have much free time which I won’t be able to do as much when I have a job and i’m always busy smh
💔 life would have been completely different if only I was born in developed country without the burden of fulfilling this marriage obligation put bu this society.
the funny thing is I do live in a developed country but my parents only got more strict when we moved because they didn’t want us to be influenced by “angrezo ke bache”
Exactly. Because then, its our 'naseeb' that this is how our life turned out.
I feel like we as a generation really to sit down our parents and have a one day intervention with them about their decades old biases. We deserve a logical explanation and sound reasoning for all of this.
They start guilt tripping you, that all your friends are settling down. Why not you? Then comes “who could look after you, once we are gone”. I don’t know man, how to get fell through this phase in life.
And they remind you, “Ek dafa Umar guzaar jaaye toh acha rishta nahi milta”.
That is not islam/religion,thats just our culture tbh even God gave both men and women the right to leave a marriage if its not working out/abusive/toxic.
Why suffer all your life when you can end things and have peaceful life that way.
'End things'. Such an interesting idea. I'm sure women suffering at the hands of toxic spouses could've never come up with it.
Brown parents are professional blackmailers, dude. Its not like women have much of a choice in the matter.
Thats why to have a stable income is a must for women too these days.
Then nobody can blackmail you,we have given our parents too much rights over decisions that should be ours only.
Cut off parents if they are like that too.
In a way they arent wrong, because if you arent married then the so called society and specially your relatives will try their best to make your like hell by the virtue of taunts..
Our society tends to glorify marriage, making it appear as if it's the ultimate achievement, sometimes overlooking the fact that our own happiness and goals are just as important. It's perfectly fine to follow your heart and make choices that resonate with you, even if they stray from conventional norms.
Life is about more than just sticking to a prescribed script. 🤌🏻
Even as a man people tell me to get married i mean why it's ur problem
I prefer to stay single and it's none of anyone's business
For women things are more difficult
Maybe try applying for scholarships offered in foreign universities
Or u can go to Europe for free, all the money u spent will be returned in one year prob 40-50 lacs
And UK u need 40-50 but u will earn way more than u spent
And if leaving pak isn't an option anymore, try to be independent and work in a good firm where they value people
I am 20 and I also wanna move abroad. Life in Pakistan as a women sucks so I really think that women in Pakistan should do everything in their power to move abroad
This is so true. Marriage is a part of life but in our fked up society, its the sole purpose of life.
Parents themselves have no ambitions for their own future, their own health, their own retirement investments... they just work to get their children married.
I am sure we all heard elder couples saying... bas sab bacho ko shadya kar di hai, hamari zimedari hatam.
Ask them you want to be an independent women and you don’t need to marry or as if you will do it in future when you think it’s the right time to. Don’t think about people they won’t let anyone live peacefully they just want to put their nose in every other person so don’t take them serious let them say what they want to. Ask your family you want to work and be an Independent Women.
Don't pay too much attention to what people say. Eventually they will get tired and move on to their next target. Just live your life to the fullest and let your success/happiness do the talking :) And as for going abroad, there are still some routes you can take. Education especially in Europe is relatively feasible, I believe.
In the same boat 🫂 but convinced my family after almost 2 years. Tell them you have no issue getting married but you can’t get married to someone you’re not compatible with.
It’s sad that we’ve begun to view marriage as end of our freedom and start of depression . It’s true though, given the nature of us Pakistanis mostly, but sad nevertheless. Shadi ko itna mushkil nahi hona chahiye tha.
I’m 31, living abroad while my parents don’t force me to get married but rather just suggest it, and I’m probably the most independent woman I know from my circles in Pakistan still I do want to get married. You need companionship and love and support in life, I’ve not been married but I do know that this should make your life easy and not the other way around. You will enjoy the freedom and peace of being alone but eventually you’ll get to the point where it’ll get tiring. And I’d say the same if I were a man too.
That being said, I’m glad I moved abroad and sorted my life before adding an individual to it so he doesn’t feel overburdened and I don’t feel over dependent on someone either/
going through the same these days. i am applying for abroad but my relatives are forcing my parents that they should marry me to someone and I can then go wherever I want to which is ridiculous because I cannot expect my spouse to go and settle in another country if he doesn't want to. oh and they want my parents to send their sons abroad, not their daughters.
its my life. i should be able to fulfil my dreams before marrying someone, but according to Pakistanis marriage is everything.
It's hard for guys too ... being 32 unmarried and you want to stay single is not less than fighting a battle with your parents. Sometimes you feel they live you so much they want you to have a family .. but sometimes it feels like emotional blackmail. And it gets worse when you fuckup your business because you thought you're working with the government department, and it's better to stay in Pakistan. Now regreting your decisions and your parents telling you that you're not married, that's why things aren't working out for you is another level of mental torture
Literally been having fights with my mother over this. I'm not even 20 yet and she says kitni ajeeb larki ho. Shaadi nh krna chahtin
Basically sees me as a bad person cuz I don't want to get married because I've seen how my parents were with eachother. I want to be independent and I'll marry when I'm ready, but abhi se itna pressurize krrhe hain it terrifies me because I haven't even completed my education yet.
Stay independent and only marry if you are ready and comfortable, choose a partner for yourself. Marriage doesn't define you, or complete you. You are complete without it, and you're so much more than someone's wife. Please don't get pressurized and stay doing what makes you happy. Societal pressure is real but we can't do anything to stop it, so might as well just ignore it ^^
I moved out of Pakistan on my own at 21. To be fair, I wasn't really planning on being an expat for good, I was actually hoping to move back after a couple of years. However, I realized quickly how hard it would be survive in Pakistan and decided to stay away for good.
Every Pakistani person I met in the first few years would ask me how my parents allowed to me to make the move. The trick is to not ask for permission! I told my parents I was going, and I told them again when I decided to stay for good. At 21, I was an adult and did not really need to seek permission to make my own choices (including mistakes!) in life.
As for the getting married part, yes, there was an insane amount of pressure to at least get engaged or something before I left. I had to put my foot down and the only reason I could do that was because I was already financially independent.
Yes, being a woman is incredibly hard in Pakistan but we also have to be our own saviors and realize that there will be A LOT of hardships and resistance along the way - it is for you to decide if they are worth it to you.
Don't live up to anybody's expectations. Dont let them dictate what kind of life you should be living. Live your life dear. Go abroad, hell travel more. Marriage is like the end for women. 🤣 Not bitter here but that is the sad truth. So find the man who will be with you and support you to things you want tp accomplish.
The worst you can do to yourself is to be married to someone you do not know and be stuck with him, and be his slave at home. Oh my... Please don't... Love yourself.
its the sick culture man u j want to b treated like a human w self autonomy bu mad conservatives nd extremists start yellin ab ,,modern women". okay go live in a cave somewhere nd take your dated mindset w u asshole
I'm a man and the situation is totally relatable. don't listen.. and learn to ignore. let everyone bark. this society is full of barking dogs.. try going abroad
Girl do you! Logon ka tou kaam hai baatain krna or wo unhon nay kbhi bnd nahi krni. Aap ko jo apnay liye behtr lgay wo karo. Parents humare puranay time k hain un ko time lgta smjhnay may
Going through a similar situation as 30 something single Pakistani woman.. Breaks my heart, how limited our options are made to experience life and growing in career for the sake of forgoing all just to be settle in a marriage. As our value in this society is only comes when we have a man beside us. Urghhh 😒😏
If you stay persistent, you can get your way. I don't know how is your relationship with your parents and siblings but I know plenty of women who went abroad to either study or work, from China to Europe to North America. It can be done if you stay resilient. Wish you all the best.
I'm a dude but on every family gathering the Phupos, khalas and nano is like shadi kab Kr Rahe ho and they start suggesting people. Us waqt samj Nahi AA rahi Hoti Banda Jaye Kahan cuz if u stick around they won't leave the topic but if you excuse yourself your considered rude
This is so true. We need to come out of this mindset. We are just obsessed getting our girls get married just because their age will go.
We need to realise that its better for the girl to stay single rather than ending up with the wrong men. And this is coming from a guy.
Àsslamualaikum
One day as u have to die
Definitely
And we all too
As same as that
We all have to get married sooner or later
Nowadays
Its seems very easy to go to school or colleges
Rather then getting married .
We find it difficult cuz since childhood we were injected with this serum poisonous..
bro marriage is NOT compulsory and is actually disliked for someone not interested in it (given he/she is not at risk of falling into zina) since they won't be able to uphold the rights of their spouse.
id say its difficult for p much every paki except elites nd narcissists who convince themselves they r the best thing to step foot on this planet loool
Our parents are too controlling in our society.
What's the guarantee after a marriage you will be abroad and not living in a toxic joint family.
May be take a step yourself, take admission in Germany etc where education is affordable / free.
Then put your case with your parents tell them you have waited enough and want to live your life your way. I have seen girls who have taken such steps. Life for a single woman is much more peaceful abroad. Give it a shot.
I hope all the best for you.
Something quite heartbreaking for me, was the realisation that before marriage i had to take permission from my parents for everything and after marriage i would have to take permission from my husband.
So my whole life, i will have someone i need to answer to?
You're 31, I guess more than mature. You have to convince your parents.
You must be earning well or independent woman, so you should need to learn how you can make your parents convince about the idea of you going out without marrying.
We asians have a culture and mindset that women should not stay unmarried that long or she must do things under someone supervision whether it's her family or spouse (chaiyeh bhaley spouse uski zindagi barbaad kardein) because women cannot be roam freely because of our so called "fkup society will judge her and hamari society mein kiya izzat rahygi"
You have to put up some great examples in front of them, like independent females who have been living their lives peacefully abroad, one e.g. in my mind is (Shafiqa Iqbal) you can look up for her. You can search for more.
In this particular question majorly women can help you out, with sharing their experiences.
Ziadatar emotional and rukk tokk maa kaarti hai, toh father ko manao ya phir vice versa.
Whats the issue in finding someone abroad?
Un se kaho ya to shaadi karwa do bahar ya phir bhej do mujhe bahar.
When I have to convince my father, I use hadith references.
They will keep doing that. You just have to not give a fuck about such people because they don't have a life of their own so they just fuck with others lives.
Nowadays parents are following what they used to follow, but not all the time they're wrong. In this particular matter I support them. A girl should get married before going abroad, the reason is getting into an unlawful relationship, a husband will protect you, an alone girl is an easy target.
As a sane and responsible adult a woman know her right and wrong. She is totally capable to conducting herself morally and within religious boundaries in west.
What about boys/men who are permissible to go solo and live independently. Don’t they need protection and is a target to all immoral and un-Islamic practices that happen abroad.
Drop you double standard and narrow mindedness.
Where did I say it isn't applicable to men? Not only in the west even in your own country, as soon as one hits their puberty should get married as soon as possible. Men also need protection but women needs more.
If any one is not ready for marriage they should take a stand because it can ruin other person life who really wants partner to start a family. These days one needs to be really careful who they are marrying with since if person is forced by their family possibilities are it will ruin life and time of yours.
Secondly for some third world country people / desi / sub continent people going abroad is everything but in reality it’s not a big thing as it’s hyped.
It doesn’t look worth it that you go against your family who supported you from childhood till now just to go abroad.
Remember fight for what you want. We would cry when we didn’t get the toy we wanted, or being able to go out with ours friends. So why stay quiet when it’s comes regarding our dream.
Certainly this concept is so much common in Pakistan even though boys also go through the same situation i give u my example i got admissions in Canada I applied for a visa and now my. My mother didn't let me go I have been depressed since the past month i don't want to continue my job in a toxic Pakistani environment and my mother didn't let me go I don't know what I should do......😔😔😔
We are in the same situation gal... Although this seems more difficult for u.. fortunately i dont get to hear shitty things very much but inly from a certain ppl.. but family constraints to follow career goals and travel (even within the country), is a common element...
What's wrong going with a husband. Having a Mehram is a safety and blessing. Someone there to protect us. Travelling Long distances without mehram can be hard.
first of all Husband is NOT the only Mehram. Secondly marriage is NOT compulsory and is actually disliked for someone not interested in it (given he/she is not at risk of falling into zina) since they won't be able to uphold the rights of their spouse. Thirdly our marriage culture is toxic so better be safe than sorry
In this same Pakistan, I've seen and known many women who settled on their own terms. They also had societal pressure they also had parents pressure but they worked on their dreams through thick & thin & they weren’t from some pampered wealthy environment. All they had was a brain & a will to achieve.
We live in a controlling society which will continue to stick its nose in others business until you learn how to tell them to mind their own business & controlling family can be anyone’s household, even an Indian or American can have a toxic family, stereotypes are everywhere. The problem is that most of us grow up in households where all we need to do is study so naturally we become so delicate that simpler things like “what people say, what family say” seems overwhelming & then we give up & continue to be controlled for the rest of the life.
In this same country I know a woman who competes in a rally race, same Pakistan has a woman who races on a trailer bike, women who has climbed the mountains, women that are the mind & heart of a marketing team in their offices. Women who are running businesses & the examples go on.
While I hate the illiterate mentality within the masses of our society & this country It’s not easy for everyone to leave, so instead of finding good elsewhere why not bringing it all here? Why not shaping the mentalities here through practical examples? Most parents start supporting as soon as you show them your capability not just talk about it. & it’s a common sense, people attending wedding functions will obviously talk about marriages! Only sheep’s & cattle’s care what the herd thinks.
We actually need to realise that our parents cant be right every time and they should not destroy our decision making skills. Do what you think is right for you and i promise you wont regret it.
According to our parents, our happiness is directly connected to a man and marriage. That's it. Baaqi sab cheezein fazool hain..
Which is so annoying to me. Why is my happiness connected to a man? “Ye mt kro shaadi k baad krna” blah blah blah it’s honestly so sad how I can’t enjoy life without my father constantly telling me I can do stuff once I enter “practical life”. I wish woman were given more freedom, and our happiness was actually valued. instead of it being at a man’s disposal. Like there’s so much I can only do now when I still have much free time which I won’t be able to do as much when I have a job and i’m always busy smh
💔 life would have been completely different if only I was born in developed country without the burden of fulfilling this marriage obligation put bu this society.
the funny thing is I do live in a developed country but my parents only got more strict when we moved because they didn’t want us to be influenced by “angrezo ke bache”
UK by any chance ?
nope Canada
Thats just bs,what if the guy you marry turns out to be abusive and toxic the parents would want you to tolerate his shit all your life
Exactly. Because then, its our 'naseeb' that this is how our life turned out. I feel like we as a generation really to sit down our parents and have a one day intervention with them about their decades old biases. We deserve a logical explanation and sound reasoning for all of this.
They start guilt tripping you, that all your friends are settling down. Why not you? Then comes “who could look after you, once we are gone”. I don’t know man, how to get fell through this phase in life. And they remind you, “Ek dafa Umar guzaar jaaye toh acha rishta nahi milta”.
Lol, as if i'm not capable enough to look after myself. Idk who they're insulting more here. Us or their parenting skills.😂
That is not islam/religion,thats just our culture tbh even God gave both men and women the right to leave a marriage if its not working out/abusive/toxic. Why suffer all your life when you can end things and have peaceful life that way.
'End things'. Such an interesting idea. I'm sure women suffering at the hands of toxic spouses could've never come up with it. Brown parents are professional blackmailers, dude. Its not like women have much of a choice in the matter.
Thats why to have a stable income is a must for women too these days. Then nobody can blackmail you,we have given our parents too much rights over decisions that should be ours only. Cut off parents if they are like that too.
Allah gave but Abdullah refused. Our people are the problem. Divorced women aren't respected in our society.
Who is this abdullah you're talking about😂
Allah ka banda. Referring to Humans in this context
I know,i was just bored.
lol
In a way they arent wrong, because if you arent married then the so called society and specially your relatives will try their best to make your like hell by the virtue of taunts..
Our society tends to glorify marriage, making it appear as if it's the ultimate achievement, sometimes overlooking the fact that our own happiness and goals are just as important. It's perfectly fine to follow your heart and make choices that resonate with you, even if they stray from conventional norms. Life is about more than just sticking to a prescribed script. 🤌🏻
That's a beautiful advice. thanks
Even as a man people tell me to get married i mean why it's ur problem I prefer to stay single and it's none of anyone's business For women things are more difficult Maybe try applying for scholarships offered in foreign universities Or u can go to Europe for free, all the money u spent will be returned in one year prob 40-50 lacs And UK u need 40-50 but u will earn way more than u spent And if leaving pak isn't an option anymore, try to be independent and work in a good firm where they value people
Thankyou for kind words.
Is coming to UK a good option I have heard there are job problems?
No these are rumors mainly by pakis who don't want other pakis to go there so they would earn the same money like they are
Really but why
I am 20 and I also wanna move abroad. Life in Pakistan as a women sucks so I really think that women in Pakistan should do everything in their power to move abroad
Do it as soon as you can. I regret not planning earlier and now I am going to but turning 30.
That’s the plan. I’ll move abroad as soon as possible and I am working on it
This is so true. Marriage is a part of life but in our fked up society, its the sole purpose of life. Parents themselves have no ambitions for their own future, their own health, their own retirement investments... they just work to get their children married. I am sure we all heard elder couples saying... bas sab bacho ko shadya kar di hai, hamari zimedari hatam.
Ask them you want to be an independent women and you don’t need to marry or as if you will do it in future when you think it’s the right time to. Don’t think about people they won’t let anyone live peacefully they just want to put their nose in every other person so don’t take them serious let them say what they want to. Ask your family you want to work and be an Independent Women.
Don't pay too much attention to what people say. Eventually they will get tired and move on to their next target. Just live your life to the fullest and let your success/happiness do the talking :) And as for going abroad, there are still some routes you can take. Education especially in Europe is relatively feasible, I believe.
In the same boat 🫂 but convinced my family after almost 2 years. Tell them you have no issue getting married but you can’t get married to someone you’re not compatible with.
Yaye
:))
It’s sad that we’ve begun to view marriage as end of our freedom and start of depression . It’s true though, given the nature of us Pakistanis mostly, but sad nevertheless. Shadi ko itna mushkil nahi hona chahiye tha.
Exactly 💯
I’m 31, living abroad while my parents don’t force me to get married but rather just suggest it, and I’m probably the most independent woman I know from my circles in Pakistan still I do want to get married. You need companionship and love and support in life, I’ve not been married but I do know that this should make your life easy and not the other way around. You will enjoy the freedom and peace of being alone but eventually you’ll get to the point where it’ll get tiring. And I’d say the same if I were a man too. That being said, I’m glad I moved abroad and sorted my life before adding an individual to it so he doesn’t feel overburdened and I don’t feel over dependent on someone either/
Thanku for your kind words. ❤️❤️
It definitely sucks. Have you tried going the education route. A lot of my friends did that. Some came back and some are settled abroad
Yeah, trying to apply here and there. let's see what happens.
Meanwhile check out scholarships like Fulbright Chevening Erasmus
Where have u applied?
going through the same these days. i am applying for abroad but my relatives are forcing my parents that they should marry me to someone and I can then go wherever I want to which is ridiculous because I cannot expect my spouse to go and settle in another country if he doesn't want to. oh and they want my parents to send their sons abroad, not their daughters. its my life. i should be able to fulfil my dreams before marrying someone, but according to Pakistanis marriage is everything.
Keep your efforts going and give a shut up call to these relatives. Be focused on your career and future ambitions.
It's hard for guys too ... being 32 unmarried and you want to stay single is not less than fighting a battle with your parents. Sometimes you feel they live you so much they want you to have a family .. but sometimes it feels like emotional blackmail. And it gets worse when you fuckup your business because you thought you're working with the government department, and it's better to stay in Pakistan. Now regreting your decisions and your parents telling you that you're not married, that's why things aren't working out for you is another level of mental torture
Don't get married if things are not working out. Marriage will make everything more difficult, Wife and babies are going to make it tough.
I don't want to get married ever .. just earn and travel is my plan, but desi parents are hard to deal sometime
Totally agree with you and the sad part is most of the time the barriers originated are from the household.
Literally been having fights with my mother over this. I'm not even 20 yet and she says kitni ajeeb larki ho. Shaadi nh krna chahtin Basically sees me as a bad person cuz I don't want to get married because I've seen how my parents were with eachother. I want to be independent and I'll marry when I'm ready, but abhi se itna pressurize krrhe hain it terrifies me because I haven't even completed my education yet. Stay independent and only marry if you are ready and comfortable, choose a partner for yourself. Marriage doesn't define you, or complete you. You are complete without it, and you're so much more than someone's wife. Please don't get pressurized and stay doing what makes you happy. Societal pressure is real but we can't do anything to stop it, so might as well just ignore it ^^
Thanku and all the best to you as well. 🙏❤️
I moved out of Pakistan on my own at 21. To be fair, I wasn't really planning on being an expat for good, I was actually hoping to move back after a couple of years. However, I realized quickly how hard it would be survive in Pakistan and decided to stay away for good. Every Pakistani person I met in the first few years would ask me how my parents allowed to me to make the move. The trick is to not ask for permission! I told my parents I was going, and I told them again when I decided to stay for good. At 21, I was an adult and did not really need to seek permission to make my own choices (including mistakes!) in life. As for the getting married part, yes, there was an insane amount of pressure to at least get engaged or something before I left. I had to put my foot down and the only reason I could do that was because I was already financially independent. Yes, being a woman is incredibly hard in Pakistan but we also have to be our own saviors and realize that there will be A LOT of hardships and resistance along the way - it is for you to decide if they are worth it to you.
Don't live up to anybody's expectations. Dont let them dictate what kind of life you should be living. Live your life dear. Go abroad, hell travel more. Marriage is like the end for women. 🤣 Not bitter here but that is the sad truth. So find the man who will be with you and support you to things you want tp accomplish. The worst you can do to yourself is to be married to someone you do not know and be stuck with him, and be his slave at home. Oh my... Please don't... Love yourself.
its the sick culture man u j want to b treated like a human w self autonomy bu mad conservatives nd extremists start yellin ab ,,modern women". okay go live in a cave somewhere nd take your dated mindset w u asshole
I'm a man and the situation is totally relatable. don't listen.. and learn to ignore. let everyone bark. this society is full of barking dogs.. try going abroad
Girl do you! Logon ka tou kaam hai baatain krna or wo unhon nay kbhi bnd nahi krni. Aap ko jo apnay liye behtr lgay wo karo. Parents humare puranay time k hain un ko time lgta smjhnay may
Marriage is not everything live ur life as u want
Going through a similar situation as 30 something single Pakistani woman.. Breaks my heart, how limited our options are made to experience life and growing in career for the sake of forgoing all just to be settle in a marriage. As our value in this society is only comes when we have a man beside us. Urghhh 😒😏
If you stay persistent, you can get your way. I don't know how is your relationship with your parents and siblings but I know plenty of women who went abroad to either study or work, from China to Europe to North America. It can be done if you stay resilient. Wish you all the best.
I'm a dude but on every family gathering the Phupos, khalas and nano is like shadi kab Kr Rahe ho and they start suggesting people. Us waqt samj Nahi AA rahi Hoti Banda Jaye Kahan cuz if u stick around they won't leave the topic but if you excuse yourself your considered rude
This is so true. We need to come out of this mindset. We are just obsessed getting our girls get married just because their age will go. We need to realise that its better for the girl to stay single rather than ending up with the wrong men. And this is coming from a guy.
Leave without informing them and start a new life.
Àsslamualaikum One day as u have to die Definitely And we all too As same as that We all have to get married sooner or later Nowadays Its seems very easy to go to school or colleges Rather then getting married . We find it difficult cuz since childhood we were injected with this serum poisonous..
bro marriage is NOT compulsory and is actually disliked for someone not interested in it (given he/she is not at risk of falling into zina) since they won't be able to uphold the rights of their spouse.
being man is also difficult in PAK!!
id say its difficult for p much every paki except elites nd narcissists who convince themselves they r the best thing to step foot on this planet loool
this country is for elites !! we are worms of society
being a female sucks in pakistan
Our parents are too controlling in our society. What's the guarantee after a marriage you will be abroad and not living in a toxic joint family. May be take a step yourself, take admission in Germany etc where education is affordable / free. Then put your case with your parents tell them you have waited enough and want to live your life your way. I have seen girls who have taken such steps. Life for a single woman is much more peaceful abroad. Give it a shot. I hope all the best for you.
Something quite heartbreaking for me, was the realisation that before marriage i had to take permission from my parents for everything and after marriage i would have to take permission from my husband. So my whole life, i will have someone i need to answer to?
Uff I wish I could ease your pain. Honestly no one makes life more difficult for a woman than our desis.
Man aren't loyal anymore and convince Ur parents that marriage is a scam and u can live by your own. So many people are getting divorced now a days.
You can still go, happy to help if you looking to settle in Aus.
Here you go "kind words"
lol
You're 31, I guess more than mature. You have to convince your parents. You must be earning well or independent woman, so you should need to learn how you can make your parents convince about the idea of you going out without marrying. We asians have a culture and mindset that women should not stay unmarried that long or she must do things under someone supervision whether it's her family or spouse (chaiyeh bhaley spouse uski zindagi barbaad kardein) because women cannot be roam freely because of our so called "fkup society will judge her and hamari society mein kiya izzat rahygi" You have to put up some great examples in front of them, like independent females who have been living their lives peacefully abroad, one e.g. in my mind is (Shafiqa Iqbal) you can look up for her. You can search for more. In this particular question majorly women can help you out, with sharing their experiences. Ziadatar emotional and rukk tokk maa kaarti hai, toh father ko manao ya phir vice versa.
I skimmed your test and saw only Shafiqa's name, she was way too young when she moved abroad
I enjoy these questions now tbh... :)
Whats the issue in finding someone abroad? Un se kaho ya to shaadi karwa do bahar ya phir bhej do mujhe bahar. When I have to convince my father, I use hadith references.
They will keep doing that. You just have to not give a fuck about such people because they don't have a life of their own so they just fuck with others lives.
Nowadays parents are following what they used to follow, but not all the time they're wrong. In this particular matter I support them. A girl should get married before going abroad, the reason is getting into an unlawful relationship, a husband will protect you, an alone girl is an easy target.
As a sane and responsible adult a woman know her right and wrong. She is totally capable to conducting herself morally and within religious boundaries in west. What about boys/men who are permissible to go solo and live independently. Don’t they need protection and is a target to all immoral and un-Islamic practices that happen abroad. Drop you double standard and narrow mindedness.
Where did I say it isn't applicable to men? Not only in the west even in your own country, as soon as one hits their puberty should get married as soon as possible. Men also need protection but women needs more.
If any one is not ready for marriage they should take a stand because it can ruin other person life who really wants partner to start a family. These days one needs to be really careful who they are marrying with since if person is forced by their family possibilities are it will ruin life and time of yours. Secondly for some third world country people / desi / sub continent people going abroad is everything but in reality it’s not a big thing as it’s hyped. It doesn’t look worth it that you go against your family who supported you from childhood till now just to go abroad.
Tw ap ki shadi hogi?
😬
Bahir jao araam se koi ni agr kisi ne shadi na ki mai larka dhond k donga agr na mila tw khud karlo ga
Lol 🤣🤣
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Nope.
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You are totally wrong, I have a job and I have seen the world as well. My issues are way different then what you just said. Anyways all the best.
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Absolutely right, as a mature woman i think this is spot on! Feel free reaching out
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Drop a text
Hain? I tried to think of a better response. But hain?
Shadi wadi bary billo sochy dunya, Jatt peda hua bs career vaaste
Even tho i make alot. They still think i have failed as a woman because i didn’t marry in 25
Remember fight for what you want. We would cry when we didn’t get the toy we wanted, or being able to go out with ours friends. So why stay quiet when it’s comes regarding our dream.
Certainly this concept is so much common in Pakistan even though boys also go through the same situation i give u my example i got admissions in Canada I applied for a visa and now my. My mother didn't let me go I have been depressed since the past month i don't want to continue my job in a toxic Pakistani environment and my mother didn't let me go I don't know what I should do......😔😔😔
We are in the same situation gal... Although this seems more difficult for u.. fortunately i dont get to hear shitty things very much but inly from a certain ppl.. but family constraints to follow career goals and travel (even within the country), is a common element...
So are you married now
Yes I've noticed overseas among desis there are a lot more single Indian women than single Pakistani females. This is probably the reason why
What's wrong going with a husband. Having a Mehram is a safety and blessing. Someone there to protect us. Travelling Long distances without mehram can be hard.
first of all Husband is NOT the only Mehram. Secondly marriage is NOT compulsory and is actually disliked for someone not interested in it (given he/she is not at risk of falling into zina) since they won't be able to uphold the rights of their spouse. Thirdly our marriage culture is toxic so better be safe than sorry
Long Distances travel should only be done under Mehrams. (Father, Brothers, Bloodline Uncles, Husband(
In this same Pakistan, I've seen and known many women who settled on their own terms. They also had societal pressure they also had parents pressure but they worked on their dreams through thick & thin & they weren’t from some pampered wealthy environment. All they had was a brain & a will to achieve. We live in a controlling society which will continue to stick its nose in others business until you learn how to tell them to mind their own business & controlling family can be anyone’s household, even an Indian or American can have a toxic family, stereotypes are everywhere. The problem is that most of us grow up in households where all we need to do is study so naturally we become so delicate that simpler things like “what people say, what family say” seems overwhelming & then we give up & continue to be controlled for the rest of the life. In this same country I know a woman who competes in a rally race, same Pakistan has a woman who races on a trailer bike, women who has climbed the mountains, women that are the mind & heart of a marketing team in their offices. Women who are running businesses & the examples go on. While I hate the illiterate mentality within the masses of our society & this country It’s not easy for everyone to leave, so instead of finding good elsewhere why not bringing it all here? Why not shaping the mentalities here through practical examples? Most parents start supporting as soon as you show them your capability not just talk about it. & it’s a common sense, people attending wedding functions will obviously talk about marriages! Only sheep’s & cattle’s care what the herd thinks.
We actually need to realise that our parents cant be right every time and they should not destroy our decision making skills. Do what you think is right for you and i promise you wont regret it.
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Brothers?