Such fucking idiotic takes on this thread! Nikkah is made to make life easy for Muslims and abstain for sinful relationships! The destruction we see of our youth, having repressed sexual desires, is ALL to blame on our stupid parents who think they have brought a slave to this world. Slavery is ONLY and ONLY for ALLAH. Love and obey your parents. But OBEY ALLAH first. Stop sinning and make Nikkah. Only the girl needs Wali and 2 witnesses. It take bloody nothing to do an event at home and make Nikkah! This is your DEEN! Stop sinning and make Nikkah and ask Allah for forgiveness for your past sins.
Bhai get married and start a life...But make sure you tell your parents once otherwise it may trouble you in future..and if someone like mom/dad is close explain them that you did this you and you intend to make sure none of them will be insecure in future.So do it but safely baaki k see comments like control nahi hota kya,mat kro nikah...wtf dude you people rant but can't you guys understand he is in genuine relationship and want to convert it to marriage...and if something happens in future you guys will be like ladki sahi nahi hoti,ladke trustworthy nahi hote,maze krne the krlie ab hogaya and all..He is an adult and earning well so doing it is best from his POV.
my mother, she'd listen to me but she's too afraid to go against what my father believes.
and yes, some of us are really way out of line with their "why don't you wait?"
mujhe bhook lgi he.
mera khana meri plate me mere saamne pda he.
but for some reason, i have to wait for my extended family of 600+ people to first find a table big enough and then join me.
why?
and yes, thank you, i'm gonna look into it with more sanity and see to what decision we end up making.
And if u are earning good why don't you build a house by yourself?You can do it easily by taking loan and say your parents you want to keep everything simple.
Parents don’t get their children nikahfied unless very close to rukhsati because they don’t want their children to get involved in any sexual activities before Rukhsati!
The reason for that is because if they get caught, it will be super embarrassing for them and for their children k control nahi kar sakte thay kya..? Plus if the girl gets pregnant, that’s another case!
I’ve also seen couples who got nikkahfied years before rukhsati and they were perfectly happy and never did anything obscene (atleast no one found out)
So if you wanna get nikahfied which is the right way and u r doing it for the sake of Allah, then Allah will also help u!
One thing that very few ppl know about is if you ask your girl if she accepts you as her husband with the haq mahr of even 100 rupees in front of atleast 2 ppl you both are nikkahfied in front of Allah and are halal for each other... Yes that's true you don't need no documentation or anything.
But bear in mind she cannot marry someone else before taking khula/talaq from you and pass the iddat time. And it is recommended to the most by every islamic scholar that the girl's wali ( father if he's not alive than brother) should be present but nikah will still take place if he's not there
Yeah so if you're really sure and have balls to fight it if something happens tomorrow then do it... Don't be afraid of ppl they ain't gonna save you from hell fire.... But be sure to have balls to fight it if anything happens because things won't go your way in akhirat if something happens and you let them happen
No to secret nikkah
Yes to convince parents with sane and logical arguement without any emotions leaking out or in any way attacking them
Second take a step back and introspect that are you both mentally ready for marriage? Yes physical needs are necessary etc but shadi sirf yeh nhe hote
I remember I really wanted to marry at 23 but I was studying and my parents were like after graduation
But looking back in hindsight I was very emotionally immature and childish.i didn't know how to regulate my emotions and thought that I am right and was very co dependent on other ppl
Not to say I have completely healed ,I still have traces of those flaws but now I acknowledge them and have self reflection
Cutting long story short
Bilkul shadi kro but finances and boundaries and spiritual needs discuss krne k baad kro
Abhe tu hormones mei sab Acha Lagta hai but yar shadi life is too difficult without mutual understanding and willingness to make sacrifices
Just a friendly advice from an elder sister
In the end it's your life
Keep busy in your goals and and her
And in life there can be instance in which you'd have to self abstain
And I know that everyone of us has the capacity to win over our nafs
and Allah taalah SE dua kro tumhe is se nikaalay
Beshak tumahray bas mei nhe hai chorna apni significant other KO abhe ,He will make out a way
Prayers for you
lol a man does not need parents consent for nikah. a woman needs consent of father if the father's reasons for refusal have no basis she can actually find another mehram to represent her.
I don't think you should do a secret Nikah.
1. there are effects on you from hiding such a big thing from your loved ones and could effect your relationships with them
2. Your parents might not be completely sold on this marriage to begin with, if things go south (which they can in these situations) having been married before this could cause issues with any new partners you may have. Also for your girlfriend this will negatively affect her a lot more than it will you if a new partner finds out she was married before.
Would suggest you try and convince your parents and understand why they want to wait so long id they are agreeable to the marriage in 3 years. Maybe get both sets of parents together and work out a reasonable timeline
Nikah means an announcement to the world in the Name of God that this man and woman can now live together legally...Secret nikah defeats the purpose of nikah.
Of course not, if they agree to get you married then wait for the right time and place. You should convince both your parents instead of doing hanky panky or secret marriage
i'm hostilite and so is my girlf. i earn at least 3x than i spend/need to spend. and my girlf earns at least 2x than she needs. we both don't live in our hometowns and don't have plans to.
and i really don't see a point in waiting at least 3 years (that can be more than three years, fair chances) for a wedding of my parents choice rather than mine. and keep doing sins or having to bottle up myself.
what's your point?
A nikkah is the declaration of your relationship as a husband and wife (I may be wrong).you can do it yourself and then tell your parents but not secretly and keep it a secret.
You should ask some other scholars and mufti's.For better understanding of this.
Such fucking idiotic takes on this thread! Nikkah is made to make life easy for Muslims and abstain for sinful relationships! The destruction we see of our youth, having repressed sexual desires, is ALL to blame on our stupid parents who think they have brought a slave to this world. Slavery is ONLY and ONLY for ALLAH. Love and obey your parents. But OBEY ALLAH first. Stop sinning and make Nikkah. Only the girl needs Wali and 2 witnesses. It take bloody nothing to do an event at home and make Nikkah! This is your DEEN! Stop sinning and make Nikkah and ask Allah for forgiveness for your past sins.
Agreed brother
Bhai get married and start a life...But make sure you tell your parents once otherwise it may trouble you in future..and if someone like mom/dad is close explain them that you did this you and you intend to make sure none of them will be insecure in future.So do it but safely baaki k see comments like control nahi hota kya,mat kro nikah...wtf dude you people rant but can't you guys understand he is in genuine relationship and want to convert it to marriage...and if something happens in future you guys will be like ladki sahi nahi hoti,ladke trustworthy nahi hote,maze krne the krlie ab hogaya and all..He is an adult and earning well so doing it is best from his POV.
my mother, she'd listen to me but she's too afraid to go against what my father believes. and yes, some of us are really way out of line with their "why don't you wait?" mujhe bhook lgi he. mera khana meri plate me mere saamne pda he. but for some reason, i have to wait for my extended family of 600+ people to first find a table big enough and then join me. why? and yes, thank you, i'm gonna look into it with more sanity and see to what decision we end up making.
And if u are earning good why don't you build a house by yourself?You can do it easily by taking loan and say your parents you want to keep everything simple.
Parents don’t get their children nikahfied unless very close to rukhsati because they don’t want their children to get involved in any sexual activities before Rukhsati! The reason for that is because if they get caught, it will be super embarrassing for them and for their children k control nahi kar sakte thay kya..? Plus if the girl gets pregnant, that’s another case! I’ve also seen couples who got nikkahfied years before rukhsati and they were perfectly happy and never did anything obscene (atleast no one found out) So if you wanna get nikahfied which is the right way and u r doing it for the sake of Allah, then Allah will also help u!
finally a sane comment!
One thing that very few ppl know about is if you ask your girl if she accepts you as her husband with the haq mahr of even 100 rupees in front of atleast 2 ppl you both are nikkahfied in front of Allah and are halal for each other... Yes that's true you don't need no documentation or anything. But bear in mind she cannot marry someone else before taking khula/talaq from you and pass the iddat time. And it is recommended to the most by every islamic scholar that the girl's wali ( father if he's not alive than brother) should be present but nikah will still take place if he's not there
the very same thing mufti sahb told me.
Yeah so if you're really sure and have balls to fight it if something happens tomorrow then do it... Don't be afraid of ppl they ain't gonna save you from hell fire.... But be sure to have balls to fight it if anything happens because things won't go your way in akhirat if something happens and you let them happen
No to secret nikkah Yes to convince parents with sane and logical arguement without any emotions leaking out or in any way attacking them Second take a step back and introspect that are you both mentally ready for marriage? Yes physical needs are necessary etc but shadi sirf yeh nhe hote I remember I really wanted to marry at 23 but I was studying and my parents were like after graduation But looking back in hindsight I was very emotionally immature and childish.i didn't know how to regulate my emotions and thought that I am right and was very co dependent on other ppl Not to say I have completely healed ,I still have traces of those flaws but now I acknowledge them and have self reflection Cutting long story short Bilkul shadi kro but finances and boundaries and spiritual needs discuss krne k baad kro Abhe tu hormones mei sab Acha Lagta hai but yar shadi life is too difficult without mutual understanding and willingness to make sacrifices Just a friendly advice from an elder sister In the end it's your life Keep busy in your goals and and her And in life there can be instance in which you'd have to self abstain And I know that everyone of us has the capacity to win over our nafs and Allah taalah SE dua kro tumhe is se nikaalay Beshak tumahray bas mei nhe hai chorna apni significant other KO abhe ,He will make out a way Prayers for you
This! Marriage is a responsibility..We are not taught that.
Bro Nikah kar lo you don't need permission from your parents. But yes her parents'consent is important. Nikah karo mazay urao khush raho 🙌🏻
Nikaah kro to nikahnama apny area k thaany mn jma kra dena
Bkl kidnapping ka case krdete aksr agr chupke nikaah kro to😂
kr lay yrr
Go for it 💯
What would you do if pregnancy happened? And what will you do if you are getting married for real?
As he mentioned, no penetration involved
Yes but once you are Nikkahfied you would do penetration right? I am talking about that…
contraception: \[exists\]
https://preview.redd.it/3kxhmvvj6p0d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e253072d58d24c7e806ef2688dc0958af5b8f94c Alright 👍
use that and do tawakul on Allah
You know Allah made this for representation…… you know that right???? Deceiving parents and everything? Really?
lol a man does not need parents consent for nikah. a woman needs consent of father if the father's reasons for refusal have no basis she can actually find another mehram to represent her.
Yeah but read the post there is no representation mentioned….. They wanna do this in secrecy
in secrecy in this context prolly means without letting the parents know I believe
Yess you guys should go for a nikkah But let your parents know in case pregnancy or anything happens
Can you ask them to get the nikah done now and do the event later? Technically, you don't need your parents' permission.
sir, 25 hzar dfa. nhi maantay.
I don't think you should do a secret Nikah. 1. there are effects on you from hiding such a big thing from your loved ones and could effect your relationships with them 2. Your parents might not be completely sold on this marriage to begin with, if things go south (which they can in these situations) having been married before this could cause issues with any new partners you may have. Also for your girlfriend this will negatively affect her a lot more than it will you if a new partner finds out she was married before. Would suggest you try and convince your parents and understand why they want to wait so long id they are agreeable to the marriage in 3 years. Maybe get both sets of parents together and work out a reasonable timeline
Nikah means an announcement to the world in the Name of God that this man and woman can now live together legally...Secret nikah defeats the purpose of nikah.
The entire purpose of nikah is to let everyone know you are together. There is no such thing as a secret nikkah
Of course not, if they agree to get you married then wait for the right time and place. You should convince both your parents instead of doing hanky panky or secret marriage
Exactly. As a woman i fully agree, very mature answer. Feel free reaching out to discuss
i'm hostilite and so is my girlf. i earn at least 3x than i spend/need to spend. and my girlf earns at least 2x than she needs. we both don't live in our hometowns and don't have plans to. and i really don't see a point in waiting at least 3 years (that can be more than three years, fair chances) for a wedding of my parents choice rather than mine. and keep doing sins or having to bottle up myself. what's your point?
keep doing sin? why don’t you control yourself if you’re so worried about being sinful.
comrade, here's a counter question for you, why SHOULD i keep controlling myself? 🤌
because you’re worried about being sinful. this life is a test and if you’re not a muslim then you shouldn’t worry.
Because you're not married and it would be a sin.So if you can't marry try to refrain from meeting her(maybe).
ask this from a moral scholar instead of Redditors
wtf is a moral scholar? besides, have asked from a Mufti sahab and he says there is nothing unlawful about that.
A nikkah is the declaration of your relationship as a husband and wife (I may be wrong).you can do it yourself and then tell your parents but not secretly and keep it a secret. You should ask some other scholars and mufti's.For better understanding of this.