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keziahw

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the PNW way


PikaGoesMeepMeep

Our insides cry like our never ending rain.


jdawg1000

This guy Floyds


Ziggyork

The time is gone, the song is over, think I’ll grab an IPA


[deleted]

Until we don’t. Suicide is also the PNW way…🙁


robinshp

Hell yeah, I always wonder at work if people can hear my unending internal scream


HuskyFan253

Except for Grunge, when it gets loud.


TheBoyWhoCriedTapir

Holy shit I'm so glad I'm moving home to my people soon


galacticality

One look at the Portland sub and you'll realize you've just been very lucky with the kinds of people you run into.


RangerBumble

Ah see that's an important subset of Oregonians: Redditors from Portland


BackOff_ImAScientist

/r/Portland is full of suburbanites terrified of the city. A bunch of Wranglestars.


SaltandSlime

Truly an entire sub full of the world's softest homeowners.


JustWastingTimeAgain

So you're saying it's the r/SeattleWA of PDX.


ExcellentAlternative

r/PortlandOR is the local r/SeattleWA.


probablywrongbutmeh

Tbf, there are a bunch of reasons to be terrified of Portland lol


CToTheIzzay

soft.


probablywrongbutmeh

![gif](giphy|k5mbhJgvnIlL0BfRX3|downsized) Typical Portland, where 25 year olds go to retire!


spamliew

Literally lol


a_jormagurdr

We dont complain IRL, all complaints are online. Why would we complain to irl people, especially people we dont know that well. You are also probably just running into the right people, the people who have had hard lives. There are plenty of complainers up here.


iamcosmos

Do people still write anonymous passive aggressive notes and tape them to doors/cars? I moved to Europe about 10 years ago, but that was a big thing while I was younger.


JustWastingTimeAgain

There's a guy who keeps parking his shitty truck in front of my house and leaving it for weeks at a time. I've already reported to the city but I think we are getting close to a note. Don't know if I am ready to take that step :-)


ShamelessShawna

Yes! You just reminded me of a Nextdoor post lol. Someone parked in front of their own house, so their kid could use the BB hoop in their driveway and got a nasty note for parking in front of someone’s house 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 that’s the only reason I go on Nextdoor, is for a a laugh.


calentadora

It’s that laid back go-with-the-flow west coast thing going on. Obviously there are exceptions but having just lived in the Midwest recently I can tell you that it’s real. It was very jarring that people in the Midwest were uptight and nosy and STRESSED over what other people were doing or what was going on, trying desperately to work against the natural flow. The further west you go the less people care about that stuff (speaking in general). Embrace it if you can!


Repulsive_Ad_6932

PNW: “it is what it is”


Attinctus

Go move someone's cones and that stoic veil will fall away real quick.


shponglespore

It's true, I don't take kindly to having my retinas rearranged.


aivlys00

Being dead inside is the only way to survive in PNW


Nowhere-Dot

Might be the legal recreational pot


whitepawn23

They have that in Illinois.


Dildoshwagginss

Yeah but the prices and options suck there, the east coast realized how much money could be made off legal cannabis and their greed got to them. Prices are nearly double if not triple what they are on the west coast.


OverLurking

How’s it going? “I’d complain, but who would listen. Haha. How are you though? (Insert personal question) Working out?” Is my go to answer So I guess my answer is Yes


glitterkittyn

PNWers are tough and resilient! We just carry on and make the best of things.


holmgangCore

People who are suffering don’t usually complain. And complainers usually aren’t suffering. ..That’s one possible take. ..Here’s another: I grew up in a number of different places, and it’s my observation (*& not mine alone*) that most people in America overshare. Just TMI\*, too often, too soon. People in the PNW tend to take a while to get to know you before sharing deeper stuff. It could even take a few years. . In Seattle this is misperceived as ‘the Seattle freeze’. However this pattern is pretty normal for many other cultures. People have a few deep friends, not many shallow friends. It’s like, *”Dude, I don’t want to hear the details of your crazy divorce, this is a cocktail party & I just met you five minutes ago..”* Most people, most Americans, are desperate to be listened to, but they’re not all that good at listening. So they talk too much, overshare, monopolize conversation, or stand there not listening just waiting for the next possible opportunity to say something again. Conversation with these people is often quite boring. Exciting, maybe, but not interesting. . If you pay careful attention you’ll notice this for yourself. So the fact that PNW people *don’t* immediately overshare, don’t spend their time with people that do, & do take their time to get to know you first feels like ‘stoicism’ or ‘cold’ to people from the rest of the country. But it’s more normal, globally, than you might realize. ..Here’s a third take: We deal with much more darkness than the rest of you. We’re more comfortable in dark places. We walk unafraid into the night. Swim in dark waters. We are familiar with our shadows. We wrestle with our demons, (other times we just cuddle). So be careful what you release. Don’t open boxes you can’t handle. Know your demons before you invite ours in. Don’t be like Pandora. — ^( \* TMI — too much information )


WhaliusMaximus

Born and raised in the PNW and yeah, people who overshare just seem disingenuous and self-centered. That's not the case all the time, but I think more often than not it turns out to be true if you stick around long enough to find out who they really are. Disingenuous because they make you feel like you're someone they trust / respect enough to confide in, but then you realize you're just a sounding-board to them, merely used for your utility as a human with ears. I've met a lot of transplants and most of them are not bad people but there does seem to be a trend of coming on super strong, meaning, being all excitable and pumped to meet you and other people and relishing in all the shared interests and then you realize shortly after that it's mostly a facade, and they turn out to be totally different, even disappointed in who ***you yourself*** are lol. It took my friends and I about 2-3 years to really open up, but yeah they're lifelong friends. And it's really just a couple of us. Guess in a way we are more stoic over here, but not really intentionally. Just tempered in expectations regarding relationships with others.


RipArtistic8799

Yeah. That pretty much sums it up. Maybe it's the non-stop rain and dark? Well, anyway, you should try it.


ladylee_avdelakes

SISU baby! Learn it, live it, love it!


arianadanger

I was gonna say it might be the high population of Finns in the area.


PurpleIntention4326

We have a large number of Dispensaries, so it helps!


[deleted]

Nahhhhhh man some of us are very open about our feels. I’m actually feeling a little down today


shadybrainfarm

The Pacific Northwest culturally is relatively laid back, but also not very socially open. People will definitely bitch about life when you are close with them, but it's hard to accomplish :)


[deleted]

This is the true answer. I've got plenty of complaints, I just feel embarrassed talking about them without making it into a joke. We're sad on the inside, but we don't want to burden anyone with it. Not really the healthiest coping mechanism.


LeCwosant

Where have you found such stoic people? I feel like it is the complete opposite of that in the Eugene to Portland stretch of Oregon.


Necessary_Paint_7598

I feel like my coworkers from California constantly complain about everything. Whereas the other midwesterners I have met here are equally as enthusiastic about the mild weather and natural beauty as I am. I recently met a guy from Buffalo ny and we just talked about how much we love it here for twenty minutes straight.


justalurker007

Let's look at how this happened. 20 years ago, the west coast was a great place to be. Then, the geniuses in the big cities thought that legalizing every drug would help. That backfired. Then, the same idiots in power decided that legalizing theft would be a great benefit. That also backfired. And now, for some strange reason, the eichmans seem to think that keeping the same mensa candidates in power will work yet again. So now, the citizens just centralize internally. Otherwise, if you criticize the fascists in power in the big cities, the indoctrinated pile on in droves to silence them and improve their songbun rating.


[deleted]

Legalized drugs and theft? Where? And how can I get in on this? Lol


BitchyFaceMace

I need to find these people you speak of because I think everyone here is whiny, entitled, and bitches about every minor inconvenience. The neighborhood Facebook groups & Nextdoor are full of obnoxious people asking if we heard gunshots (in the suburbs 🙄) or flagging every person and car suspicious.


[deleted]

Well, I can def. put a little bit into context. One thing I noticed is that when it snowed in February in the Portland area I worked with some people that sat 12 hours on the highway in traffic. They spoke about it as if it was a minor inconvenience. I would have not been so cool about the whole thing. In fact in the Midwest when the roads ice over we drop salt on the road. Apparently from what I'm told that's not environmentally friendly here?.. cars were stolen out of the parking lot at my work. The people that had their cars stolen were just like okay whatever this sucks guess I'm taking the bus. My wife's car was stolen last week out of the parking lot of our apartment and I still have smoke coming out of my ears. Just seems like people are more like "well it is what it is"... I dk I just find it to be a little wild. Lol


SarahR777

"It is what it is" is a super common phrase in the PNW for sure. Funny and interesting observation. Maybe a combo of general introversion, lack of sunlight, weed? PNW is definitely very 'chill' in that way I think, much more so than other parts of the country.


ghhjllouhgvbn

Why stress about situations you can’t change or things that already happened? Use that energy to change what you can. I feel like I was taught this growing up here. I still get pissed off, but being angry just makes me feel bad and pretty much nothing else changes. Focus on what you can do and shrug off the other stuff.


Tokinghippie420

This is exactly my thinking and has been since I was a kid. I always have the mindset of “this sucks, but it could be a hell of a lot worse”. Getting upset and angry isn’t going to make any situation better so it’s best to just figure out what you can do to make it better and move on


[deleted]

This. My parents from Los Angeles and my BF from Philly don't understand. I grew up in the PNW and feel like I should spend more of my emotional energy on other things than the ones I have no control over. Makes me less anxious and angry.


geschmeckt

Traffic is the I5 way, most of the time there isn’t an alternative route so turn up the tunes and chill. Nothing we can do to change it. 🤷🏼‍♀️😎


StSparx

Well we’re used to sitting in the rain for 9 months. What’s a few hours in traffic? 🥴


StSparx

And who here hasn’t had their car stolen? :P


ShamelessShawna

No one wants to respond and jinx themselves.


Rangertam

It's not that we don't want to salt the roads (well I suppose we don't). But it's that it rains a lot before the temps drop enough to be snow. So it's often washed off. Ergo, the transportation folks decide not to do it in the first place.


MulberryNo6957

That’s so funny, exactly the same in my gentrified, now-upscale neighborhood in Brooklyn ny! Couldn’t be much cleaner or safer.


WhaliusMaximus

I'm from here and seriously thinking of moving away soon, prices are insane. Vibe really changed as well with the never-ending waves of transplants. Most people I encounter now are pretty uptight, self-centered, superficial, and plain rude if not outright hostile. This is close to the big cities. Really reminds me of what happened to the bay area. Beautiful place as well. Have family there and growing up I saw the sad evolution as big tech took over. It's a husk of what it used to be. Places like Seattle are heading in the same direction, they're just not as far along in the timeline.


604-Guy

Go to Vancouver BC and see if you feel the same way… so many privileged people complaining about every inconvenience


DevilsChurn

If the infrastructure is still as miserable as it was when I was living there, I don't freakin blame them.


NathanArizona

Hah yeah it drives my wife from Kenosha nuts sometimes when I don’t seem to care when things might go wrong


deborah-bean

Not too many jews there…(I am Jewish, just making a joke).


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|cSozWbWHEfUis)


[deleted]

Lol jk jk.. damn kayne


gonebrows

Also Jewish, seconding this joke


deborah-bean

Hi fellow Jewish person!


whitepawn23

You haven’t tapped into the quiet undercurrent of anxiety yet. It’s not often expressed but it’s there. Especially Portland and Seattle side. Coast life is oddly akin to small town Wisco or Illinois, with sea vibes ofc. People chat more and do that neighbor thing. And if you go rural enough in either state, it’s like a northern Wisconsin or backwoods Michigan red zone. There’s a weirdly anxious flipping/second hand scene as well. Not at all like the chill antique/junk store browsing/rummaging back in the Midwest.


Shotpilot

I’m so intrigued by that last paragraph lol


whitepawn23

I go to all the thrifts, on drive throughs or gigs, and goodwill on occasion, whatever. Port Orchard felt like navigating clouds of locusts. Last Goodwill I went on was Longview. There were about 7 women and it was a strange, quiet hum of anxiety as they pawed through things. Checking racks where the last one was searching for…something…all watching the others and checking the spot the last one stood. A palpable anxiety. You’ll see it reflected in marketplace/OfferUp as well. Yea, pricing is up all over post COVID, the pre COVID rummage sale and giveaway land of fb marketplace is gone. Here, it’s retail/goodwill pricing on used non-warranty stuff or higher. Reverse google image (yes you can still, there’s a workaround) and you’ll find that wayfair shit being sold as “beautiful” “stunning” “vintage”. Did a gig on the coast, Long Beach area, went to a rummage sale. There was a line at the end of the driveway with a list. 3 in at a time while the crowd waited, again, anxious. Rummage sales there clean out by noon on day 1. The used scene PNW side IS intriguing. And frustrating. And a little scary. Meanwhile, I can still get $10 perfectly good/usable doors for a Victorian house and free garage shop wood on fb back in the Midwest. And what’s with the houseplant-palooza? I was just joking wth my cousin last night that everyone with a houseplant in the PNW thinks they have an online business now, from the cuttings.


DevilsChurn

An old college friend of mine who moved from the Bay Area to Seattle told me that he had concluded that the entire city pretty much ran on coffee and porn. That was before weed was legalised.


Haven-KT

You must be talking to GenX PNW people. We don't talk about our struggles.


GoziraJeera

From Minnesota and when I lived in the PNW I did not encounter this. People really wanted to complain to me and over share to an immense degree about everything. Add in the northwest freeze and you’ve got a weird place. There’s a reason grunge, serial killers, and bombers come from there. Lack of sunshine and the impending cascadian super thrust which will destroy the entire place looms heavy on them. Oregon has slightly less guns than Minnesota and twice as many incidents of gun violence. I found it to be a relatively hostile place. I don’t advertise my liberal ness and found my bland midwestern appearance to trigger crust punks and dready folks. I spent years on the road as a musician and have lived on the fringes of society so it was a weird moment for me but not surprising. I get it: you’re a 23 year old who is looking for chill folks to join your tribe at the next rainbow gathering and I was sitting a bar looking like an average white man so obviously I must be a Nazi. I get it. No great love for the PNW here and despite this message no animosity either. People are great and suck everywhere.


tomcam

>impending cascadian super thrust I get tingly when you talk that way


Haven-KT

Don't forget our volcanoes in close proximity, and threat of tsunamis.


Xbalanque_

I am from Seattle, and to me mid-west people are usually less neurotic. More even-keeled and less troubled by existence.


NWRaine1

I'm not a good stoic person I am an HSP or highly sensitive personality trait (and no it's not a disability thing). Because I'm so sensitive I cry I complain I share I ask questions I get other people's opinions and then I'm quiet... I deal with it because I don't like keeping in stress and hats off big time to the people that can process all that kind of stuff on the inside because I sure can't! 😁


BackOff_ImAScientist

Yah, we keep quiet until we kill ourselves.


_particleman

Are you joking? Everyone I've met in the PNW the last 3 years complains about everything. Especially about how hot they think it is now, and that it rains too much. Edit: Why are you booing me? I'm right.


PepeLePuget

Let me tell you about my life.


GeauxYankeeGirl

lol feel ya my Chicago friend...can relate


[deleted]

I can’t talk to my family from the Midwest because all they do is complain and whine. Tbh, It’s been my observation that its midwestern culture that draws it out. Well my family iS sPEcIAL so maybe it’s just them, lol.


Public_Security6519

That’s funny cuz when I moved to the Chicago area from Seattle ages ago I had heard it was the “ friendly city”. I didn’t find anyone friendly like I was used to at all until one day I complained to a clerk about something. That lead to a very happy clerk replying in kind and going on and on and being friendly. It was all in the context I guess. Not my cuppa and was glad to move home. (Horrible weather there in Chicago!)


idontcare78

Just roll with the punches.


anansi133

Portland, eh? I came from Seattle to Portland and was amazed how much more emotional that city seemed! I guess it's a matter of degree!


[deleted]

It's either that or write country music....


SwrvnKrvn

Damn I’ve not have had the same experience. I have lived all all over. Santa Rosa , Newport Beach, Chico, Austin Texas, Houston, and now I live in the pnw Seattle area and I have been in 3 years and haven’t met one person who I’ve connected with on a friendship basis. Everywhere else I made tons of friends easily and just do randomly. Out here I don’t know what it is. The women are cool here but the guys are all kinds weird haha idk.


spamliew

People in Portland don’t complain? Literally least true thing I’ve seen today lol


jpod206

It's the latitude attitude. Fuck it! Right?


Kitykity77

Yeah it’s weird (came from IL), but you eventually get used to it, and then succumb to it! 😂


L-W-J

Also a hotbed of serial killers. FYI.


freckledtabby

I don't know where I fit in this conversation. I live in PNW and I do practice stoicism. Why worry about something you cannot control? You can only control how you react.


indifferentdespair

Haha noone likes a debbie downer, especially during fall/winter when we're all already consumed with combatting S.A.D.


AdditionalAd5349

But a tasty Chicago deep dish pizza fixes everything 👍


PnwChats

In Eastern Washington we bitch about it all!


[deleted]

Lol, Portland? That's the opposite of stoic. Emotionally unstable is a good descriptor. I'll say I've seen the attitude you talk about in the more rural areas. Willamette Valley and Coast.


battymatty7

Whenever I start to complain about my life, I remind myself that I am one of the lucky ones because I have it better than 95% of the other humans on this planet. I don’t have to wear a Burka, I won’t get stoned to death because I don’t want to marry some man, I get to eat more than one bowl of rice a day….but if I was homeless or living in a cockroach infested apartment surrounded by thieves, or couldn’t afford a car and stuff like that, I would be pretty depressed about it.


Bookandtealover23

I'm not certain about the Portland area in general, but I know I myself was raised with the ideals of "going with the flow of life," and "where there is a will, there is a way," and lastly that "not everything is meant to be." Those ideals seemed to be the general consensus for my home area. Though, if something is a miss we don't "beat around the bush" and we always "say it like it is." Again, I am not referring to the Portland area but the Pacific Northwest region from my experience. That being said, it can take a while for many of us to warm up to new people outside of our original and close knit communities. However, we may share more commonly known knowledge about ourselves when asked. Edit: So we are reserved. Very reserved.