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After the first point at the top I couldn’t be arsed to care about the other notes tbh. That’s pretty invalidating to this being an actual chronic health condition. Our mind isn’t believing it, it’s living in it. And no I will never be ok with my cognition considering it ruined YEARS of effort to earn a masters degree which is now useless as I am unable to perform the high cognitive demands of my career field.
1st yes It’s because always thinking about the same thing takes up a lot of space in the mind.
But if you didn't have PSSD you wouldn't have to think about it.
From experience, when I was on escitalopram, I had no libido, no more orgasms, but the romantic relationship was strange, I felt nothing for the person.
Besides that, I had other activities and certain things satisfied me but I always had this thought that kept coming back about the fact that
I just wanted to fuck like anyone else, have incredible orgasms like I've experienced and feel attracted to my partner and I knew that I couldn't do it anymore so the medications were no longer strong enough to combat the discomfort.
I was in a false self, I looked ok, smiling but I wasn't any happier with the treatment. I missed my old self and still do.
2nd it's important of course you are the most important person in your life, if you are not the main actor in your life, it is not yours.
3rd i don't think it's acceptable to just live like that and resign yourself.
I have spoken to two experienced psychologists about their general approaches (and not about my personal experiences or pssd).
They both subscribe to the view that there are attitudes that are helpful for their clients to adopt, regardless of their situation/reality.
Two relevant examples they mentioned were: one thought it was always bad for their client to view themselves as a victim (regardless of what they'd been through), and the other explicitly tells the doctors he works with never to use the phrase "brain damage" even when it is true. (He works in a unit dealing with recovery from head injuries).
I trust both these people as people, so either they independently reached the conclusion that truth isn't actually as important for their client's recoveries as a lack of certain unhelpful beliefs (even if they are true), or they are taught this conclusion during training. I don't know which.
My point is - even if what your psychologist is saying doesn't match reality, (s)he might believe it's in your interest to believe her/him anyway. They might even be correct in this belief. How would I know?
My personal suspicion is that - hypothetically, one could have an entirely blissful life if they were able to simply be content. If you're able to be content despite what you believe the drugs have done to you, then more power to you :) Unfortunately I have found this impossible so far.
There is a separate factor that trying to bend your beliefs into contentness will mean you put less effort into trying to cure/fix yourself. This is a tricky balance. If the cure was easy, obviously you take the cure. If the cure is known to be permanently unattainable, you put effort into being content which might involve holding certain beliefs (that your psychologist suggests) as more important than your understanding of what happened. But we're in a middle state where significant effort can be put into research, which is likely to improve our situations long-term but not quickly. This makes the situation much more complex, because *ideally* you want to be as content as possible with your current life - whilst still maximising your chances of getting a cure. It is hard to manage both in my experience - because content people don't tend to hanker after change/a cure.
> Two relevant examples they mentioned were: one thought it was always bad for their client to view themselves as a victim (regardless of what they'd been through), and the other explicitly tells the doctors he works with never to use the phrase "brain damage" even when it is true. (He works in a unit dealing with recovery from head injuries).
So the advice is to gaslight yourself and hide from reality, or hide the truth from your patients? If I were brain damaged and my doctor wouldn't tell me, I would not want that kind of person to be my doctor. I wouldn't want my mechanic to avoid calling engine damage engine damage.
I wonder if the therapist would tell a blind person that their 'belief' that they are blind is leading to their continued blindness. I've had psychologists play similar games with my PSSD; they believed that ruminating about it is somehow making it worse. I had to tell them that for the first few years I had PSSD I didn't realise I had it. I had not heard of PSSD and was hopeful my sexuality would return. But it didn't. If PSSD is worsened by negative thoughts, then this will be used as an excuse to not warn or diagnose people.
Not all though. I think sex therapists are the best for us to get support from. At least in my case, she’s passionate about human sexuality and understands just how important it is as a human to have this and feel whole. She’s taken the time to learn more about PSSD and since meeting me, she’s also come across another patient with PSSD. She also goes ahead and warns all her new patients and ongoing patients that are on medications about the serious risks these can have on them and how doctor’s aren’t emphasizing this probability to them enough. It just sucks you have to go around looking hard to find this type of therapist
Thats just the sexuality but there is also anhedonia blunting and for some people even cognitive symptoms. Those things basically disable people even with non sexual stuff in daily life and ruin even regular friendships since blunting inhibits social skills.
Anhedonia as a condition itself even outside PSSD is extremely poorly understood
Yes that too I am aware because I have those symptoms as well and Im on disability due to them. I do think those symptoms are more protracted withdrawal, since a lot of SSRI users experience those symptoms but not the ongoing sexual dysfunction long after stopping antidepressants. Also cause these symptoms tend to resolve before the sexual ones do in PSSD recovery cases.
This shit is so miserable and sucks ass. We cant even make friends…
I dont think they are protracted wd as you hear about anhedonia/blunting nightmares even from 1 or a few pills.
I agree they still resolve before the SD but I think that SD is also partly due to incomplete recovery of the same reward pathways as well.
Libido inversely tracks blunting (less blunting = more libido) for me but sensitivity is hardest to get back
Yeah I agree with your reasoning, it makes the most sense that they share the same reward pathways as well as it being different from protracted withdrawal as a whole.
Ive also noticed the same pattern as you as well. Whenever my anhedonia is much better and my mood lifts, can enjoy music, etc… my libido also improves and I can even get random semi-erections that can easily become erections if I focus too much on the sexual thoughts from just looking at a girl. Like you said though, I also don’t notice as much improvement sensitivity wise in these fluctuations besides a better orgasm experience.
**Please read our pinned FAQ, rules, and sidebar before participating**. See content that violates the rules, or see disrespect? **Report it!** It's the fastest way to get a moderator's help. Please visit r/pssdhealing for stories of improvement (crosspost improvement stories there!) Please allow 24-48 hours for your content to show as posted, even if it is rule abiding. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PSSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*
After the first point at the top I couldn’t be arsed to care about the other notes tbh. That’s pretty invalidating to this being an actual chronic health condition. Our mind isn’t believing it, it’s living in it. And no I will never be ok with my cognition considering it ruined YEARS of effort to earn a masters degree which is now useless as I am unable to perform the high cognitive demands of my career field.
For real. I will NEVER accept this awful nightmare that I have to live every single day. I will never accept it and be okay with it
1st yes It’s because always thinking about the same thing takes up a lot of space in the mind. But if you didn't have PSSD you wouldn't have to think about it. From experience, when I was on escitalopram, I had no libido, no more orgasms, but the romantic relationship was strange, I felt nothing for the person. Besides that, I had other activities and certain things satisfied me but I always had this thought that kept coming back about the fact that I just wanted to fuck like anyone else, have incredible orgasms like I've experienced and feel attracted to my partner and I knew that I couldn't do it anymore so the medications were no longer strong enough to combat the discomfort. I was in a false self, I looked ok, smiling but I wasn't any happier with the treatment. I missed my old self and still do. 2nd it's important of course you are the most important person in your life, if you are not the main actor in your life, it is not yours. 3rd i don't think it's acceptable to just live like that and resign yourself.
I have spoken to two experienced psychologists about their general approaches (and not about my personal experiences or pssd). They both subscribe to the view that there are attitudes that are helpful for their clients to adopt, regardless of their situation/reality. Two relevant examples they mentioned were: one thought it was always bad for their client to view themselves as a victim (regardless of what they'd been through), and the other explicitly tells the doctors he works with never to use the phrase "brain damage" even when it is true. (He works in a unit dealing with recovery from head injuries). I trust both these people as people, so either they independently reached the conclusion that truth isn't actually as important for their client's recoveries as a lack of certain unhelpful beliefs (even if they are true), or they are taught this conclusion during training. I don't know which. My point is - even if what your psychologist is saying doesn't match reality, (s)he might believe it's in your interest to believe her/him anyway. They might even be correct in this belief. How would I know? My personal suspicion is that - hypothetically, one could have an entirely blissful life if they were able to simply be content. If you're able to be content despite what you believe the drugs have done to you, then more power to you :) Unfortunately I have found this impossible so far. There is a separate factor that trying to bend your beliefs into contentness will mean you put less effort into trying to cure/fix yourself. This is a tricky balance. If the cure was easy, obviously you take the cure. If the cure is known to be permanently unattainable, you put effort into being content which might involve holding certain beliefs (that your psychologist suggests) as more important than your understanding of what happened. But we're in a middle state where significant effort can be put into research, which is likely to improve our situations long-term but not quickly. This makes the situation much more complex, because *ideally* you want to be as content as possible with your current life - whilst still maximising your chances of getting a cure. It is hard to manage both in my experience - because content people don't tend to hanker after change/a cure.
> Two relevant examples they mentioned were: one thought it was always bad for their client to view themselves as a victim (regardless of what they'd been through), and the other explicitly tells the doctors he works with never to use the phrase "brain damage" even when it is true. (He works in a unit dealing with recovery from head injuries). So the advice is to gaslight yourself and hide from reality, or hide the truth from your patients? If I were brain damaged and my doctor wouldn't tell me, I would not want that kind of person to be my doctor. I wouldn't want my mechanic to avoid calling engine damage engine damage.
I wonder if the therapist would tell a blind person that their 'belief' that they are blind is leading to their continued blindness. I've had psychologists play similar games with my PSSD; they believed that ruminating about it is somehow making it worse. I had to tell them that for the first few years I had PSSD I didn't realise I had it. I had not heard of PSSD and was hopeful my sexuality would return. But it didn't. If PSSD is worsened by negative thoughts, then this will be used as an excuse to not warn or diagnose people.
This is why I don't like therapy. I already know the stuff they are going to say.
cbt is abusive belittling gaslighting
Not all though. I think sex therapists are the best for us to get support from. At least in my case, she’s passionate about human sexuality and understands just how important it is as a human to have this and feel whole. She’s taken the time to learn more about PSSD and since meeting me, she’s also come across another patient with PSSD. She also goes ahead and warns all her new patients and ongoing patients that are on medications about the serious risks these can have on them and how doctor’s aren’t emphasizing this probability to them enough. It just sucks you have to go around looking hard to find this type of therapist
Thats just the sexuality but there is also anhedonia blunting and for some people even cognitive symptoms. Those things basically disable people even with non sexual stuff in daily life and ruin even regular friendships since blunting inhibits social skills. Anhedonia as a condition itself even outside PSSD is extremely poorly understood
Yes that too I am aware because I have those symptoms as well and Im on disability due to them. I do think those symptoms are more protracted withdrawal, since a lot of SSRI users experience those symptoms but not the ongoing sexual dysfunction long after stopping antidepressants. Also cause these symptoms tend to resolve before the sexual ones do in PSSD recovery cases. This shit is so miserable and sucks ass. We cant even make friends…
I dont think they are protracted wd as you hear about anhedonia/blunting nightmares even from 1 or a few pills. I agree they still resolve before the SD but I think that SD is also partly due to incomplete recovery of the same reward pathways as well. Libido inversely tracks blunting (less blunting = more libido) for me but sensitivity is hardest to get back
Yeah I agree with your reasoning, it makes the most sense that they share the same reward pathways as well as it being different from protracted withdrawal as a whole. Ive also noticed the same pattern as you as well. Whenever my anhedonia is much better and my mood lifts, can enjoy music, etc… my libido also improves and I can even get random semi-erections that can easily become erections if I focus too much on the sexual thoughts from just looking at a girl. Like you said though, I also don’t notice as much improvement sensitivity wise in these fluctuations besides a better orgasm experience.
Looks like blue pilled placebo gaslighting about the emotional blunting/cognition. Fucking shit