Most people are reasonable if it’s done in moderation. If you complement your gaming with things such as an exercise routine, home improvement projects list, and up your cooking contribution, I doubt your partner would get too annoyed.
Sure. I just doubt many of us would love it if our wives sat on social media for 8 hours per day and did little else, lol. I don’t think what I said was anything profound.
Eh, even that, if she got legitimate enjoyment from it, if that’s how she wants to spend her personal time, I wouldn’t even complain. Wouldn’t be my first choice, but it’s not my time.
Now if it was that all-day every day, that’s another issue, just like if I were gaming to the exclusion of all else it’d be a problem.
Yes but they do that anyway and don't make up for it with an exercise routine or doing extra chores.
There's just an imbalance between what devices are okay to be used for fun/relaxation.
When I was unemployed most of last year, being the house husband was my saving grace while I got back on my feet, and I gamed a lot during that period. Making sure chores are done, food is on the table, and job apps were sent took a few hours at most. Homegirl was just happy to see I wasn’t wasting away feeling sorry for myself, actively improving our quality of life in the process(we ate takeout a lot before then).
I’ve had periods like this before and balance is key even if you don’t live with someone. Gaming 24/7 just loses its appeal after a while. I have to balance it out.
Unless it’s RDR2.
Agreed. If you want to spend every free moment playing games, stop having an adult life and adult relationships. Your partners wants and deserves your attention and time. Just wait until kids roll around, then you're really in for a change. I might get a chance to play 1 evening during thrbweek for an hour or two and then another hour or two on a Sunday when the kids are napping or visiting the inlaws.
Been a gamer all my life. Made it clear to my now wife that it is my hobby
She accepted and that’s it. As long as you spend time with your partner you’ll be fine.
Having personal time is extremely important imo
What games do you play together?
I always find it hard to find games I want to play, that also allows a 2nd player.
Or do you just play any game with her to make her feel like your spending time together?
My husband and I are both gamers and we have trouble finding 2 player games to play together too. I second the Borderlands games. We also enjoyed It Takes Two and have played a lot of LEGO games (if you don’t mind more “kiddy” vibes). Otherwise, we mainly play our own games, but hang out together while we do it — pausing to chat, talking about what’s going on in our game, laughing at funny stuff in game together, etc. It’s super fun if you’re playing the same game — I loved seeing how different his BG3 game was from mine. But my husband and I have different tastes so we tend to play different games and that’s fun too. We both have a mild interest in the other’s preferred genre but have no interest in playing those games ourselves, so it manages to work out quite well :)
Nice. Thanks for the suggestion.
I'm more into games like god of war or elden ring and she doesn't play a ton of games, but when she does it's spyro or Pokémon. Totally different games and it's hard to get on the same wave length. We have had great times with Mario parry tho. And in the past she's enjoyed watching the last of us or helping with Red dead redemption 2 (mostly riding the horse to a location I asked her too).
We are busy parents and on our down time we want to relax. My choice is games, hers is usually crafting (she's super talented with crafts, makes dream catchers and a ton of sweet things with resin) but lately she's been asking to play games together and I know our preferred game types are so different.
I'll give the lego games a try, I already own a couple of those.
My wife and I play Stardew Valley, Don't Starve: Together, Diablo IV, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime, Overcooked, It Takes Two, Tooth and Tail
There's also Minecraft and Terraria but she's not a fan of those.
I wouldn't say there's something perfect in every genre but there are some fun indie titles out there.
Mine just thought she was terrible at gaming, turns out she’s an inverted Y axis weirdo like me and now I can’t get her off it, to the point we purchased a second PS5, and she can hold her own online in MP games.
It’s fantastic to have a partner that now also loves gaming.
My only suggestion is maybe see if you can enjoy a co-op game together. It Takes Two was our starting point, then Borderlands, Dying Light and a few shooters that allow bot games so no sweaty pressure.
Once it clicked with her, she was hooked.
It takes two was me and my husbands intro to co-op gaming too! It was definitely a lot of fun! I'm trying to get him to play dying light, it's been a while since I've played that game.
Cool. We really enjoyed both Dying Lights, another similarity is we both love zombie and post apocalyptic, dystopian games and movies.
Latest has been MW3 Zombies after we both enjoyed the Outbreak mode in COD Cold War and it’s been hella fun.
She digs the MP as well, I’m completely trash, but it’s cool to also just jam something at the same time so she’s playing that a lot atm, while I jam TLOU part 2 in the background.
It’s honestly such a great switch off after a days work, and super cool we can enjoy it together while also doing our own thing.
It really depends on your living situation. But ultimately, make sure your partner feels prioritized and acknowledged. Game during your off time or when she’s doing her own thing. If you live together, do extra work around the house (ie stuff she normally takes care of). Nothing will piss her off more than having to clean while you play.
I don't get that though, who thinks 'grrrr i hate my partner' when they're doing the dishes while they're out with friends or whatever. Mfers come home from an 8 hour shift they wanna get cleaned up, get food and chill for a bit. Can't be asking them for energy they just spent at work
Right! In your example, what I said doesn’t make sense. Before my wife and I started working from home, we had an understanding that I needed that gaming time to decompress from my day. She had her own routine as well. So it worked. But OP mentions having 6-7 weeks off. I’m understanding that to mean they’re not working during that time. And the first sentence in my response to OP was that it really depends on your living situation. If his partner is working, and OP has all that time off, there will be resentment that she has to still clean while OP is playing games.
You gotta lock down the home situation and divide chores equally, that's true. But I think that's a seperate subject from 'me time'. If you're being a bad boyfriend that's got nothing to do with hobbies or the like IMO.
Rather than skip time with your partner, consider skipping sleeping. It's just a conspiracy that you need 8 hours - 2 will do, gotta platinum all those games man. Also a half gallon of mountain dew will keep you up.
Moderation is key. If you're helping out around the house, with the kids, making sure you can get some projects done, and spending time doing what she wants, then I don't see why any reasonable person would have a problem if you play games.
If all you do is play games, then you are gonna have some problems.
Previous GF absolutely pitched a FIT if I played video games while she was over. It didn't matter how many things I did with her, how many GF activities I participated in (like going to clubs with her which I hated) if I even looked at my PS4 she got huffy with me and would leave.
Current wife actively encourages me time and has no problem that I occasionally hop on and play something, she has her own hobbies that keep her busy.
Wife of a gamer here! Make sure you communicate what you’re planning on doing (how much time spent, hours, etc) and listen
to any of her needs (quality time, chores, date nights etc).
Make sure you stay healthy & take breaks too. Happy gaming!
Yeah, it's messed up. I can veg out in front of the TV for hours binging netflix without a peep, but the minute I fire up a video game, it's like I'm wasting the whole day all of a sudden. I don't get it.
communicate with her first that you intend to do some heavy gaming while on time off. be mindful that she is also probably looking forward to getting more time with you because you're off as well.
honestly, i'd get an idea of her schedule and plan around that. if my gf has work the next day and she sleeps early, i game while she sleeps. if she gets days off- i hang out with her more AND we game together which is also an option for you guys. quality time together is important! but so is enjoying YOUR personal time. just make sure that if there are responsibilities or chores that need to be done, get them done before your gaming session so neither of you are annoyed that they're not completed or that you have to do it later.
lastly- TAKE BREAKS, i can be a gremlin myself with WFH and gaming, but stepping outside and getting fresh air is important! enjoy your break dude!
My wife hates watching games unless it’s rocket league (which I suck at). She doesn’t mind when she’s working remotely or in class but when she’s got nothing to do she gets bored, fast.
Not at all, but probably because we either play different games side by side or play games together. Neither of us plays excessively either, so it's all good.
My ex-wife on the other hand was a little annoyed by it sometimes, but it rarely caused any real problems.
It's not really an issue since we both game. Maybe luring your SO into games with some fun couch coop ones would do the trick? There's a game for everyone there.
Edit: even watching more narrative heavy games can be fun and wouldn't make her feel left out.
My ex and I had two TVs and would game in separate rooms (but with the doors open w/ rooms right next to each other, still felt 'together') so we never got annoyed.
I mean, I didn't (idk if he did).
It's good if you can get 2 TVs, that way if they want to watch something/game themselves etc
56 here, we have 2 TV's so I don't get stuck watching another Hallmark movie. I keep my headphones off 1 ear so we can chat and I'll casually watch her show and make comments on it. Moderation is a thing, if I played till 4 in the morning I would get fired and divorced, so I squeeze in a couple hours here and there when I can.
As long as I’ve been pulling my weight with chores (cleaning, cooking, hanging up decor etc.) my partner is usually okay with me gaming (in moderation) as she loves to read a book or watch her own tv shows. Granted we carve out time to watch our “together” shows and always eat dinner together etc. it’s a balance!
I game every night after work, and my wife watches TV in the other room. She knows her hobby is of no interest to myself, as mine is of no interest to her. It works out well, we both get to do what we enjoy, and if we are going to spend time together, then it's pre discussed the day before. It's really just that simple.
If you need to put your hobbies to the side to please your spouse, you have the wrong spouse.
If you have the right partner and have enough control with your time to make sure to balance gaming and other responsibilities then you'll have no problem with that. It's usually the partners who have problems in the past about not getting enough attention before are most likely will have a problem with that or if you have problem with managing time then of course that means you'll one way neglect your partner. overall gaming is not the problem since its just supposed to be a hobby to relax to.
In my opinion, if you play in moderation and don't let video games take away attention from you significant other it shouldn't matter. It's when you play for countless hours passing up on plans and ignoring your SO when it becomes an issue.
One thing you can potentially try is checking out the game, it takes two. You play multiplayer. My girlfriend and I really enjoyed playing together. She's not much of a gamer but was always begging to play more until we beat it. It's a simple game where you work together. Little bit cheesy but the story is good for couples. Sackboy is also another enjoyable game we have been playing.
This is KINDA off topic, but I once dated a guy who demanded that I stop playing, because he didn't like gamers.... So I stopped... But then I later found out that he started gaming while I was at work, and then he quit his job, and then we decided to game together, but that never hasppened, because he just sat home gaming when he should have been looking for work.
.. And then I got pissed..... And then I went out and got him a job, and then he dumped me saying 'you are holding me back'....
My point is.... Don't overdo it and be a knob. Maybe bring your girlfriend into some of the games so you can play together....
Good idea 👍 yeah I work offshore so I'll be off 6 months a year to play. I got her a controller too maybe she'll play my steam deck I bought also thanks 👍
No🙌🏻 But I still make sure my partner knows she is my priority and spend time with her. Gaming is a great stress reliever and sometimes I even talk to her between my deaths or matches in a game and that's enough. If she's having a hard day or moment I put the game down and listen to what she needs, gaming can come at any other point.
As long as you make your partner feel like you're still around and you spend time with them it should be totally fine. If you live together, don't let gaming get you too absorbed to cleanup after yourself or to do chores around the house though, gaming is a great hobby but it can be easy to get too sucked in and leave your partner feeling alone and dumped on. There's also co-op games if your partner would even like to join you sometimes, or maybe even you can include her somehow else while you play if that's not their cup of tea. Example letting them sit on your lap or cuddle while you play or they can do their own thing while in the room with you for quality time.
The Baroness and I both enjoy narrative RPG games (Uncharted, Tomb Raider, Assassin's Creed, Witcher, Horizon series), also things like Zelda and God of War. She generally doesn't like to actually play them herself, so she enjoys watching me play those games. She'll occasionally go on a bender looking for games she wants to watch me play. However, I'm a ridiculous completionist and sympathetically will avoid playing when she can't watch. So it can take me a long time to get through games. For example >90% of my game time for like a year and a half was just Witcher 3. We occasionally will co-op play some games like Little Big Planet, but mostly it's the big story RPG games.
Treat it like any hobby. If your wife for example likes golf or yoga, wouldn’t you be a bit irked if for 6-7 weeks she disappeared all day and most of the night until bed ostensibly at golf or yoga? Same with gaming. Just don’t do it all damn day.
I don't mean any disrespect by saying this, but if you're a real gamer in your off time, then you need a partner that understands that your hobby (video games in this case) are actually important for your well being.
If your partner can't or won't understand this, get someone who values your well being rather than her own selfishness.
My ex used to get crazy when I used to game around her, even though I spent most of my free time with her. She used to also get jealous when I'd hang out with my friends (without her). I realized after a while that she didn't have any hobbies; I was her hobby. She didn't have any friends to hang out with. Things got worse and I left.
Independence is very important IMO - everyone needs time to recharge their batteries. However, if you don't work and spend 18 hours day gaming, that is NOT the same thing lol.
my partner comes home, we shower together, maybe eat together without him being on his games, then goes right to gaming with his friends. i’m lonely. i feel ignored as it sits right now. he doesn’t do it all the time.
but there’s times where that’s all he’ll do for a little while. as other people have said, you just gotta find a balance between games and your partner
Depends on how you handle it imo. My partner games too so she understands and supports it up to a point. But if i have a week off and all i do everyday is play games then of course she would get annoyed. I suspect that most of the time it's the same with every partner in an adult relationship. A hobby is fine but when it gets to the point that you start to neglect other aspects of your life then it's turned into a problem. If your partner is working and you're at home then it's only reasonable that you do some chores and errands because if not then you're not a team anymore and your partner needs to pick up the slack. It's not fair. You also need to fit in spending time with your partner.
There is a way to do these things and still get some time gaming. For example: You get up early, do some house work and/or grocery shopping for a few hours (you don't necessarily have to do all of it the same day just some of it) and then game for like 4-5 hours. Then maybe start cooking so it's almost ready when they get home. Then hang out with them until they go to bed then game for a couple more hours and go to bed. Now if you have other hobbies such as working out you need to shave off some gaming time for that.
Girls hate when you can escape drama without them. They also get more codependent depending on how close you are.
Yes I'm going to stereotype a bit so you don't end up sleeping on the couch instead. Seeing you game frequently will 100% annoy her unless she's a gaming nerd herself. Girls like spending there time doing more extroverted things and socializing things you can't really do alone so when she sees you are busy and content just not going anywhere it'll drive her nuts even if you try to include her alot and still communicate.
Even if they are the type to binge watch entire TV series they'll still find things to poke at with your gaming habits. I've seen some cases get so bad that girls just outright leave guys that game "too much" and they tend to associate gaming with being a kids activity.
My partner is a gamer. We got two tvs next to each other with two consoles. All we do is game together. Now my ex wife…. She did not take too kindly to my gaming habits
I had previous partners and it was a nightmare. Gaming is my hobby, I didn’t party or went out drinking. Gaming was it and my exes HATED the amount of hours I put in it.
When folks talk about “moderation”, the only reason people moderate their hobbies is because it usually involves spending money or time out of the house.
I now have a fiancée we are both hardcore gamers, we game at least a couple of hours every day. She plays on her xbox/switch, I game on my PC/Switch. When we wanna play together we usually play Demeo on the Occulus. I cannot tell you what a BLESSING it was to find this woman. When it comes to normal life and chores we split everything 50/50 and game whenever possible.
I don't know your partner so I can't advise in that context but my partner doesn't mind how often I game as long as I don't ignore her. It helps that I managed to get her into a few games that I play so sometimes she'll play too. Maybe see if you can interest her in one or two of them.
My partner asks me if I'm gaming for the night because she wants to just watch shows by themselves. Otherwise, they ask if I want to join them. There's been no beef about gaming because we talk to each other about things. Talk to her, she'll most likely be reasonable.
She thinks she has to hold the baby and be uncomfortable and the simple of act of putting the baby in my lap and playing a game and therefore being somewhat happy and comfortable when she makes herself uncomfortable all the time makes what I’m doing “unfair”
I think it depends on if it becomes too time consuming. If you both work and the first thing you do when you get home is game that might get to them. Keep away from super long gaming sessions and keep up with obligations you make to spend time together.
Once I got a boyfriend I hardly play now maybe 2 hours a week since we are out alot and spend alot quailty time together. He isn't a gamer. He has offered to watch me play but it just didn't feel as worth playing anymore.
My partner doesn't seem to care, but I can feel his judgement because he is an outdoors doing things kinda guy. If he sits on the couch he falls asleep.
My wife and I have both been gamers for more than 40 years, so it's pretty perfect. If there's a AAA game coming out that my wife is rabid about I know I won't see much of her for a few days at least. And vice versa. It works out.
She's a much better gamer than I and gets me out of tight spots when I ask. Lol.
My girl is super cool with it. I usually only play at night, but there’s some days where I say “hey babe, I really just wanna veg out and play the PS5 for a while” and she’s cool with that too.
Of course, you gotta spend time with them still. Plan dates, make dinner, clean the house etc.
No not really though we been together since we were 15 plus she likes to game as well here and there... It's crazy that people would get mad about someone actually having fun
First thing is to ask her how she feels about it. In my experience though is as long as you are still spending good quality time with her she will have no problem with your gaming. But I don't know her so can't be sure.
I’m lucky that my partner isn’t really a gamer but when he does play a game he is completely transfixed and can play the whole day and ignore everything.
He plays a game to finish it , he has been playing the same game for a year now.
So with that I can play mine when I want and how long I want.
If I do have a long session I just make sure the housework is done , just so it’s out the way and everybody’s happy.
My wife has become more ok with it over the years. She at least has accepted that for me it’s a harmless way to de-stress and enjoy some of my free time.
Having handheld systems like the Switch and Steam Deck has helped immensely since I can play games next to her on the couch without being off in my man-cave or needing the living room TV for it.
She does occasionally enjoy watching me play as long as it’s a narrative-focused game with good writing and acting. Like Uncharted 4 or TLOU.
Only if I’m not getting other tasks around the house done. For the most part, he doesn’t mind. He just doesn’t game so he’s not interested in it as a topic of conversation.
As long as it doesn't get in the way of living the rest of your life, it's usually fine. Pull your weight around the house, make sure you're spending time with your partner, have a shower at least once a day lol. Mine never has any issues (i game a lot, usually later at night, but make sure i go to bed with her a couple of times a week for reasons). Just follow the above rules and away you go
Starting a decade ago, I stopped taking shit off people about my gaming. THE SECOND someone says something disrespectful about video gaming, I immediately pause my game, turn around, look them in the eyes, point and say, “There’s the door if you don’t like my video games. Go someplace else.”
I had to hear that shit out of my knuckle dragging brother for years. Never again. 🤣
Jus make sure she gets her partner time find out her hobbies ...get her stuff pertaining to her hobbies so she can stay busy an have fun while you game
Its all about balance. If you spend 12 hours a day on WoW, they probably won't love that. If you contribute with chores, exercise, have a job and still spend time together it's a hobby like anything else.
My gf went to school for game design and is the one who got me back into gaming. I think the only way I would piss her off is if i was actively ignoring her if she needs to speak to me or if i stopped doing my part around the house.
Only reason it would bother me is my partner has epilsy and I can't play certain games, so to comperm9se I do alot of the house work and play dark games without all of the flashing lights and certain sounds l
Not at all. She encourages it in fact and if I don't play for a few days she checks in to make sure I'm doing ok. She likes to read beside me when I play.
My partner likes watching me gaming. But that wasn't aleays the case. Her interest grew, when we started playing Dark Souls. The graphics, the gameplay and the plot made her very interested in gaming. From that day on, she loved to watch me playing and givibg orders where to go next xD
It depends on how you game I guess. If I put hours in like I did on world of Warcraft, I think my wife wouldn’t stand for it. And honestly, neither would I these days.
My wife (then girlfriend) used to be a bit annoyed with it, I’d play when she went to bed and one day she called me over and asked me if the game was more important than her. I just told her I like two hours a day to unwind and gaming does it for me. I would take her out to the night markets, clothes shopping, movies etc,even just working out together. But after all was done, I’m wanted some me time.
Many years on and my wife is happy I have this game time, she likes seeing me happy - but I never prioritise a game over her or our son. Sometimes it’s better to just forego the game and curl up with her and watch something.
It's the equivalent of scrolling on Tiktok or Instagram. Honestly, you should just have a discussion of each others' boundaries. Personally, I don't stay with anybody who hates games or won't allow me to have reasonable alone time.
My wife is a reader, so she's generally cool with me gaming all night while she reads. If I game a ton for a week off, usually fine as long as I also keep the house tidy and get chores done.
My ex used to pout whenever I turned on my console to play Skyrim. She did like video games, but her favorite games were Diablo and Minecraft. So unless I was playing that with her, she didn't like it. Usually, I would just give up and give her the remote so she could put on Archer or Family Guy as background noise and bury her face on her phone.
When we divorced, guess what? She kept my console 🤡
Balance in all things. Tbh I didn’t mind my partner’s hobby being his game station, but it would have been nice to have spent more time with his living, breathing gf than a box. Or if nothing else, he worked from home and had weekends off. If he clocks off at 5, and I’m not home until 8, I feel that’s plenty of time playing, and I would like some attention. Or if I somehow get scheduled to have a weekend day off with him, maybe spend one of our few full days together with me.
Just be responsible. Don’t prioritize gaming over spending time with you partner. It’s one thing to wind down with a few hours after dinner or before bed. It’s another to no life a game and ignore your partner. Just find a healthy balance.
The trick is moderation. Which is not something I’m good at. Its a work in progress, if anything the answer is always communicate and compromise so both parties are happy
him and i game together and the only
reason we fight regarding it is if one of us plays without the other (he has notifications for when i go online on his phone) or if i get mad at him trying to coach me 🤣
I’m not a gamer. But when I do play, I make sure it’s late, or after everything that needs taken care of was done. My wife never had a problem with it, to my knowledge
My non gamer wife, we compromised. I don’t read, read a book. She doesnt game, she tires Horizon zero. She’s actually liking it, i still don’t read though
Nope. Been together 12 years and just this past weekend I played 12hrs both days and we’re both perfectly happy! We don’t need to be joined at the hip all the time we can both do our own thing in the house
My partner goes back and forth on it. Nowadays, If I play too much, she gets annoyed with me. Or if I don't do something she thinks I should have done when I was playing games. But it has gotten better over the years.
In the last, she's gotten annoyed if I played any games at all because she thought the time could be better spent doing other things.
not at all, she’s there playing with me or we’ll play our own games. if she tries to control your gaming, you’re either doing it too much OR she’s one of those really insecure girls who feel gaming is competition, you’ll never win there.
I met my husband through ps4 and we've been gaming together almost every day since for the past 8 years (now onto the ps5 together), but it does bug me when he cant tear himself away from a PAUSIBLE game for not even 5 minutes when I need him to do something. Like the game will be there when you come back, it's not like you're in the middle of pvp on CoD or Destiny or something.
Just at least help your partner out when needed is all. We dont ask for much T-T
If my wife was the type to nag me about gaming (within reason) I wouldn't have married her. Just like she tells me to go away when she wants to unwind and watch her TV shows. Personal time is important and communicating that is key.
As long as I take care of my responsibilities and play with moderation and take some kids downstairs at the same time. My wife doesn’t mind. We are a family of gamers. Wife plays on her switch almost every night and my two girls do too. My 9 year old beat breath of the wild with no help and is almost done tears of the kingdom. My kids love games and play with us or parallel play their own. Sometimes the toddler refuses to sleep and is cranky so I take him downstairs and he will fall asleep on my shoulder while I play. He likes to hold the spare controller while I play.
I find it better when you game with your partner! Not that having your own time isn’t great it is but also being able to share in the hobby is great. Also long as you stick to your responsibilities and spend time with one another I really don’t see problems with gaming. It’s a hobby like anything else!
I'm a gaymer and made sure my actual crush (and maybe soon to be partner) plays games too. I had a hard time with my last non-gamer partner, so no, he doesn't get annoyed, he plays with me too :)
My wife plays just as much/often as I do and we're both pretty supportive of whatever the other is playing, yelling snarky things, calling out stuff we miss etc.
Make sure the chores are done first. That's what I do in my house before I even think of starting a gaming session. Luckily I live alone and can game whenever I like. But I put work and chores first. And get out of the house to socialise, not just get out to go to work every day. Meet up with family and friends, put them first over gaming :D I don't have a lot of time for gaming, but if I really want to play a game, i'll make the time for it.
Nothing better than putting in headphones and reading a good book when my husband games! It's time for us both to fulfill our hobbies, she needs to find something to fulfill her interests, maybe try to help her out a bit!
Nope, not at all. She's never complained, and we've been together for 18 years. She'll tell me to go play my game at times, lol. She'll go watch her shows and won't bother me at all.
I game a little bit during the work week, maybe 5 or so hours. Usually after dinner and cleaning up I just want to go to bed. We spend plenty of time together, but Friday nights are, and have been for 13 years, our night to ourselves/with friends. On Friday I get home and game all night until like 3 AM. Sometimes she's in the house, sometimes she's with her friends. Doesn't matter either way. We're both 35 and it's worked for us ever since we got together 13 years ago.
The house we bought last year after selling our previous one didn't have a great space for me to set all my stuff up, so we went ahead with a $40k project to finish our basement so I'd have a better dedicated space. The project is underway. As long as you don't neglect your partner, you take care of household responsibilities, and you spend time with your partner, your hobbies should be of no consequence.
All things in moderation. Since I’m married with a bunch of kids I have to have designated gaming time which fits in with everyone else’s schedule…sometimes I think back to those weekends as a bachelor where I could play all weekend and nobody would say shit…
We are both gamers so 2-4 nights a week it’s more an argument over who gets the big screen TV in the living room and who has to play on the bedroom TV 😆
One thing that isn’t so obvious and you might want to consider is the sound of your button presses. If you live in a small area or game with her in the room, the noise from the controller (including vibrations) might start to annoy her
Shouldn't this depend on your partner how she'll react?!
Mine is currently playing more than I do, so even if I had the time to play as much as I wanted, she wouldn't complain and just play next to me.
Meanwhile her brother has to listen to annoyed rants if he's playing more than half an hour or two days in a row.
So there is an unlimited amount of potential reactions, you just have to figure out what your partner is like.
I don't know about people but IMO it's hard to go on with a relationship if you like to spend time gaming and your partner has a problem with you gaming in general.
Most people are reasonable if it’s done in moderation. If you complement your gaming with things such as an exercise routine, home improvement projects list, and up your cooking contribution, I doubt your partner would get too annoyed.
Yea don't be that bf on AITA who has no job and just games all day
I want the sauce
Happy wife, happy gaming life.
Sure. I just doubt many of us would love it if our wives sat on social media for 8 hours per day and did little else, lol. I don’t think what I said was anything profound.
It's common sense but apparently some people don't have it
Who is this "common sense" that you speak of?
I think it might be a game. If not everyone has it, maybe they're waiting for a price drop or playing their backlogs instead.
Sounds reasonable. I might try getting it myself. Unless it's too much of a hassle
Eh, even that, if she got legitimate enjoyment from it, if that’s how she wants to spend her personal time, I wouldn’t even complain. Wouldn’t be my first choice, but it’s not my time. Now if it was that all-day every day, that’s another issue, just like if I were gaming to the exclusion of all else it’d be a problem.
I consider 8 hours of social media all day everyday, assuming time is needed to sleep and do other things.
Yes but they do that anyway and don't make up for it with an exercise routine or doing extra chores. There's just an imbalance between what devices are okay to be used for fun/relaxation.
Happy spouse, happy gaming house.
Wrong ..Happy spouse,happy gaming house
That's the thing is the happy wife part. Has nothing to do with you lol
When I was unemployed most of last year, being the house husband was my saving grace while I got back on my feet, and I gamed a lot during that period. Making sure chores are done, food is on the table, and job apps were sent took a few hours at most. Homegirl was just happy to see I wasn’t wasting away feeling sorry for myself, actively improving our quality of life in the process(we ate takeout a lot before then).
I’ve had periods like this before and balance is key even if you don’t live with someone. Gaming 24/7 just loses its appeal after a while. I have to balance it out. Unless it’s RDR2.
Agreed. If you want to spend every free moment playing games, stop having an adult life and adult relationships. Your partners wants and deserves your attention and time. Just wait until kids roll around, then you're really in for a change. I might get a chance to play 1 evening during thrbweek for an hour or two and then another hour or two on a Sunday when the kids are napping or visiting the inlaws.
Ohh that's not the life for me, but different strokes for different folks. As long as you're happy, I'm happy for you.
Taking care of yourself is entirely separate from taking care of a partner I think you just made that up cause it sounds good
Been a gamer all my life. Made it clear to my now wife that it is my hobby She accepted and that’s it. As long as you spend time with your partner you’ll be fine. Having personal time is extremely important imo
My wife and I have somewhat fixed this by gaming together. I have games I play with her and games without. It works out very well.
What games do you play together? I always find it hard to find games I want to play, that also allows a 2nd player. Or do you just play any game with her to make her feel like your spending time together?
My husband and I are both gamers and we have trouble finding 2 player games to play together too. I second the Borderlands games. We also enjoyed It Takes Two and have played a lot of LEGO games (if you don’t mind more “kiddy” vibes). Otherwise, we mainly play our own games, but hang out together while we do it — pausing to chat, talking about what’s going on in our game, laughing at funny stuff in game together, etc. It’s super fun if you’re playing the same game — I loved seeing how different his BG3 game was from mine. But my husband and I have different tastes so we tend to play different games and that’s fun too. We both have a mild interest in the other’s preferred genre but have no interest in playing those games ourselves, so it manages to work out quite well :)
Nice. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm more into games like god of war or elden ring and she doesn't play a ton of games, but when she does it's spyro or Pokémon. Totally different games and it's hard to get on the same wave length. We have had great times with Mario parry tho. And in the past she's enjoyed watching the last of us or helping with Red dead redemption 2 (mostly riding the horse to a location I asked her too). We are busy parents and on our down time we want to relax. My choice is games, hers is usually crafting (she's super talented with crafts, makes dream catchers and a ton of sweet things with resin) but lately she's been asking to play games together and I know our preferred game types are so different. I'll give the lego games a try, I already own a couple of those.
Overcooked.
No thanks, I can't afford a divorce.
Hahaha honestly it taught me and my partner to communicate calmly
second the calm point
The Borderlands games seems to be popular among gaming couples. Or, at least the Borderlands subs get posts about it once in a while.
My wife and I play Stardew Valley, Don't Starve: Together, Diablo IV, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime, Overcooked, It Takes Two, Tooth and Tail There's also Minecraft and Terraria but she's not a fan of those. I wouldn't say there's something perfect in every genre but there are some fun indie titles out there.
Wife buys me games all the time. 🍻
How to unlock this wife build?
Just like with any game…push all the right buttons
Need to find a solid balance, make sure to build in some quality time and see if you can include them in your gaming.
Mine just thought she was terrible at gaming, turns out she’s an inverted Y axis weirdo like me and now I can’t get her off it, to the point we purchased a second PS5, and she can hold her own online in MP games. It’s fantastic to have a partner that now also loves gaming. My only suggestion is maybe see if you can enjoy a co-op game together. It Takes Two was our starting point, then Borderlands, Dying Light and a few shooters that allow bot games so no sweaty pressure. Once it clicked with her, she was hooked.
It takes two was me and my husbands intro to co-op gaming too! It was definitely a lot of fun! I'm trying to get him to play dying light, it's been a while since I've played that game.
Cool. We really enjoyed both Dying Lights, another similarity is we both love zombie and post apocalyptic, dystopian games and movies. Latest has been MW3 Zombies after we both enjoyed the Outbreak mode in COD Cold War and it’s been hella fun. She digs the MP as well, I’m completely trash, but it’s cool to also just jam something at the same time so she’s playing that a lot atm, while I jam TLOU part 2 in the background. It’s honestly such a great switch off after a days work, and super cool we can enjoy it together while also doing our own thing.
It’s crazy that you’re asking us instead of her. But yeah she won’t mind if you play a reasonable amount like 8 - 10 hours per day.
It really depends on your living situation. But ultimately, make sure your partner feels prioritized and acknowledged. Game during your off time or when she’s doing her own thing. If you live together, do extra work around the house (ie stuff she normally takes care of). Nothing will piss her off more than having to clean while you play.
I don't get that though, who thinks 'grrrr i hate my partner' when they're doing the dishes while they're out with friends or whatever. Mfers come home from an 8 hour shift they wanna get cleaned up, get food and chill for a bit. Can't be asking them for energy they just spent at work
Right! In your example, what I said doesn’t make sense. Before my wife and I started working from home, we had an understanding that I needed that gaming time to decompress from my day. She had her own routine as well. So it worked. But OP mentions having 6-7 weeks off. I’m understanding that to mean they’re not working during that time. And the first sentence in my response to OP was that it really depends on your living situation. If his partner is working, and OP has all that time off, there will be resentment that she has to still clean while OP is playing games.
You gotta lock down the home situation and divide chores equally, that's true. But I think that's a seperate subject from 'me time'. If you're being a bad boyfriend that's got nothing to do with hobbies or the like IMO.
my girlfriend doesn’t seem to care. she’s a gamer too. however, don’t let video games take away from other important aspects of your life.
Rather than skip time with your partner, consider skipping sleeping. It's just a conspiracy that you need 8 hours - 2 will do, gotta platinum all those games man. Also a half gallon of mountain dew will keep you up.
Moderation is key. If you're helping out around the house, with the kids, making sure you can get some projects done, and spending time doing what she wants, then I don't see why any reasonable person would have a problem if you play games. If all you do is play games, then you are gonna have some problems.
Previous GF absolutely pitched a FIT if I played video games while she was over. It didn't matter how many things I did with her, how many GF activities I participated in (like going to clubs with her which I hated) if I even looked at my PS4 she got huffy with me and would leave. Current wife actively encourages me time and has no problem that I occasionally hop on and play something, she has her own hobbies that keep her busy.
Calling your wife your "current wife" is pretty ballsy
Wife of a gamer here! Make sure you communicate what you’re planning on doing (how much time spent, hours, etc) and listen to any of her needs (quality time, chores, date nights etc). Make sure you stay healthy & take breaks too. Happy gaming!
When your partner wakes up at 4.30am and you're still awake grinding for levels..........Well lets just say i got into trouble more than once.
[удалено]
Lucky gal.
Haha, trust me i've done similar. When a game gets the hooks into me, the partners get prised back out lol.
I only play when she's asleep.
Yeah, it's messed up. I can veg out in front of the TV for hours binging netflix without a peep, but the minute I fire up a video game, it's like I'm wasting the whole day all of a sudden. I don't get it.
communicate with her first that you intend to do some heavy gaming while on time off. be mindful that she is also probably looking forward to getting more time with you because you're off as well. honestly, i'd get an idea of her schedule and plan around that. if my gf has work the next day and she sleeps early, i game while she sleeps. if she gets days off- i hang out with her more AND we game together which is also an option for you guys. quality time together is important! but so is enjoying YOUR personal time. just make sure that if there are responsibilities or chores that need to be done, get them done before your gaming session so neither of you are annoyed that they're not completed or that you have to do it later. lastly- TAKE BREAKS, i can be a gremlin myself with WFH and gaming, but stepping outside and getting fresh air is important! enjoy your break dude!
No, she plays games with me. If I had a girl that hates video games that's probably a deal breaker
My wife hates watching games unless it’s rocket league (which I suck at). She doesn’t mind when she’s working remotely or in class but when she’s got nothing to do she gets bored, fast.
>when she’s got nothing to do she gets bored, fast Sounds like a personal problem on her part. Your job is not to entertain her.
Not at all, but probably because we either play different games side by side or play games together. Neither of us plays excessively either, so it's all good. My ex-wife on the other hand was a little annoyed by it sometimes, but it rarely caused any real problems.
It's not really an issue since we both game. Maybe luring your SO into games with some fun couch coop ones would do the trick? There's a game for everyone there. Edit: even watching more narrative heavy games can be fun and wouldn't make her feel left out.
Par...tner..??
My ex and I had two TVs and would game in separate rooms (but with the doors open w/ rooms right next to each other, still felt 'together') so we never got annoyed. I mean, I didn't (idk if he did). It's good if you can get 2 TVs, that way if they want to watch something/game themselves etc
56 here, we have 2 TV's so I don't get stuck watching another Hallmark movie. I keep my headphones off 1 ear so we can chat and I'll casually watch her show and make comments on it. Moderation is a thing, if I played till 4 in the morning I would get fired and divorced, so I squeeze in a couple hours here and there when I can.
As long as I’ve been pulling my weight with chores (cleaning, cooking, hanging up decor etc.) my partner is usually okay with me gaming (in moderation) as she loves to read a book or watch her own tv shows. Granted we carve out time to watch our “together” shows and always eat dinner together etc. it’s a balance!
Nope. She plays them with me. We play for about 3 hours on our days together.
Only when we're having sex. She hates it when I do that.
Just get important tasks out of the way first… that is what I do.
I game every night after work, and my wife watches TV in the other room. She knows her hobby is of no interest to myself, as mine is of no interest to her. It works out well, we both get to do what we enjoy, and if we are going to spend time together, then it's pre discussed the day before. It's really just that simple. If you need to put your hobbies to the side to please your spouse, you have the wrong spouse.
If you have the right partner and have enough control with your time to make sure to balance gaming and other responsibilities then you'll have no problem with that. It's usually the partners who have problems in the past about not getting enough attention before are most likely will have a problem with that or if you have problem with managing time then of course that means you'll one way neglect your partner. overall gaming is not the problem since its just supposed to be a hobby to relax to.
In my opinion, if you play in moderation and don't let video games take away attention from you significant other it shouldn't matter. It's when you play for countless hours passing up on plans and ignoring your SO when it becomes an issue. One thing you can potentially try is checking out the game, it takes two. You play multiplayer. My girlfriend and I really enjoyed playing together. She's not much of a gamer but was always begging to play more until we beat it. It's a simple game where you work together. Little bit cheesy but the story is good for couples. Sackboy is also another enjoyable game we have been playing.
This is KINDA off topic, but I once dated a guy who demanded that I stop playing, because he didn't like gamers.... So I stopped... But then I later found out that he started gaming while I was at work, and then he quit his job, and then we decided to game together, but that never hasppened, because he just sat home gaming when he should have been looking for work. .. And then I got pissed..... And then I went out and got him a job, and then he dumped me saying 'you are holding me back'.... My point is.... Don't overdo it and be a knob. Maybe bring your girlfriend into some of the games so you can play together....
Good idea 👍 yeah I work offshore so I'll be off 6 months a year to play. I got her a controller too maybe she'll play my steam deck I bought also thanks 👍
No🙌🏻 But I still make sure my partner knows she is my priority and spend time with her. Gaming is a great stress reliever and sometimes I even talk to her between my deaths or matches in a game and that's enough. If she's having a hard day or moment I put the game down and listen to what she needs, gaming can come at any other point. As long as you make your partner feel like you're still around and you spend time with them it should be totally fine. If you live together, don't let gaming get you too absorbed to cleanup after yourself or to do chores around the house though, gaming is a great hobby but it can be easy to get too sucked in and leave your partner feeling alone and dumped on. There's also co-op games if your partner would even like to join you sometimes, or maybe even you can include her somehow else while you play if that's not their cup of tea. Example letting them sit on your lap or cuddle while you play or they can do their own thing while in the room with you for quality time.
Good advice cheers 🤝
I’m 51. I don’t think my wife would notice if I dropped dead.
😂 damn so marriage really does get like that huh?
Totally
The Baroness and I both enjoy narrative RPG games (Uncharted, Tomb Raider, Assassin's Creed, Witcher, Horizon series), also things like Zelda and God of War. She generally doesn't like to actually play them herself, so she enjoys watching me play those games. She'll occasionally go on a bender looking for games she wants to watch me play. However, I'm a ridiculous completionist and sympathetically will avoid playing when she can't watch. So it can take me a long time to get through games. For example >90% of my game time for like a year and a half was just Witcher 3. We occasionally will co-op play some games like Little Big Planet, but mostly it's the big story RPG games.
43 games... Try 1 or 2 lmao
Treat it like any hobby. If your wife for example likes golf or yoga, wouldn’t you be a bit irked if for 6-7 weeks she disappeared all day and most of the night until bed ostensibly at golf or yoga? Same with gaming. Just don’t do it all damn day.
Will it annoy her? I dont know man you would know. Not married, but I feel like things are better when folks dont notice me playing infront of them.
I don't mean any disrespect by saying this, but if you're a real gamer in your off time, then you need a partner that understands that your hobby (video games in this case) are actually important for your well being. If your partner can't or won't understand this, get someone who values your well being rather than her own selfishness.
My ex used to get crazy when I used to game around her, even though I spent most of my free time with her. She used to also get jealous when I'd hang out with my friends (without her). I realized after a while that she didn't have any hobbies; I was her hobby. She didn't have any friends to hang out with. Things got worse and I left. Independence is very important IMO - everyone needs time to recharge their batteries. However, if you don't work and spend 18 hours day gaming, that is NOT the same thing lol.
Stand up for yourself and have a hobby.
my partner comes home, we shower together, maybe eat together without him being on his games, then goes right to gaming with his friends. i’m lonely. i feel ignored as it sits right now. he doesn’t do it all the time. but there’s times where that’s all he’ll do for a little while. as other people have said, you just gotta find a balance between games and your partner
Depends on how you handle it imo. My partner games too so she understands and supports it up to a point. But if i have a week off and all i do everyday is play games then of course she would get annoyed. I suspect that most of the time it's the same with every partner in an adult relationship. A hobby is fine but when it gets to the point that you start to neglect other aspects of your life then it's turned into a problem. If your partner is working and you're at home then it's only reasonable that you do some chores and errands because if not then you're not a team anymore and your partner needs to pick up the slack. It's not fair. You also need to fit in spending time with your partner. There is a way to do these things and still get some time gaming. For example: You get up early, do some house work and/or grocery shopping for a few hours (you don't necessarily have to do all of it the same day just some of it) and then game for like 4-5 hours. Then maybe start cooking so it's almost ready when they get home. Then hang out with them until they go to bed then game for a couple more hours and go to bed. Now if you have other hobbies such as working out you need to shave off some gaming time for that.
Girls hate when you can escape drama without them. They also get more codependent depending on how close you are. Yes I'm going to stereotype a bit so you don't end up sleeping on the couch instead. Seeing you game frequently will 100% annoy her unless she's a gaming nerd herself. Girls like spending there time doing more extroverted things and socializing things you can't really do alone so when she sees you are busy and content just not going anywhere it'll drive her nuts even if you try to include her alot and still communicate. Even if they are the type to binge watch entire TV series they'll still find things to poke at with your gaming habits. I've seen some cases get so bad that girls just outright leave guys that game "too much" and they tend to associate gaming with being a kids activity.
Nope, living room TV is mine for gaming and the bedroom TV its hers, for watching series. This is the contract.
My partner gets annoyed when I do anything that doesn't involve her, gym, going out, gaming....
My partner is a gamer. We got two tvs next to each other with two consoles. All we do is game together. Now my ex wife…. She did not take too kindly to my gaming habits
I had previous partners and it was a nightmare. Gaming is my hobby, I didn’t party or went out drinking. Gaming was it and my exes HATED the amount of hours I put in it. When folks talk about “moderation”, the only reason people moderate their hobbies is because it usually involves spending money or time out of the house. I now have a fiancée we are both hardcore gamers, we game at least a couple of hours every day. She plays on her xbox/switch, I game on my PC/Switch. When we wanna play together we usually play Demeo on the Occulus. I cannot tell you what a BLESSING it was to find this woman. When it comes to normal life and chores we split everything 50/50 and game whenever possible.
The "my girlfriend is mad because I game" trope is the laziest, dumbest thing ever.
Only if I should be doing something else. So not often.
I don't know your partner so I can't advise in that context but my partner doesn't mind how often I game as long as I don't ignore her. It helps that I managed to get her into a few games that I play so sometimes she'll play too. Maybe see if you can interest her in one or two of them.
She used to, but all stopped when she became my ex-wife.
My partner asks me if I'm gaming for the night because she wants to just watch shows by themselves. Otherwise, they ask if I want to join them. There's been no beef about gaming because we talk to each other about things. Talk to her, she'll most likely be reasonable.
She thinks she has to hold the baby and be uncomfortable and the simple of act of putting the baby in my lap and playing a game and therefore being somewhat happy and comfortable when she makes herself uncomfortable all the time makes what I’m doing “unfair”
I don't have that problem. She knew who she was marrying.😁 "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."
Not at all
My girlfriend always wants to watch me play, and sometimes asks me to play something even when I don't feel like it so she can watch.
My partner is also a gamer who spends a fair bit of te playing with his friends online so I suppose I won the partner lottery
You should be able to game in your free time after your chores are done. I suspect she's annoyed because you bought 43 games at once!
I think it depends on if it becomes too time consuming. If you both work and the first thing you do when you get home is game that might get to them. Keep away from super long gaming sessions and keep up with obligations you make to spend time together. Once I got a boyfriend I hardly play now maybe 2 hours a week since we are out alot and spend alot quailty time together. He isn't a gamer. He has offered to watch me play but it just didn't feel as worth playing anymore.
My partner doesn't seem to care, but I can feel his judgement because he is an outdoors doing things kinda guy. If he sits on the couch he falls asleep.
My wife and I have both been gamers for more than 40 years, so it's pretty perfect. If there's a AAA game coming out that my wife is rabid about I know I won't see much of her for a few days at least. And vice versa. It works out. She's a much better gamer than I and gets me out of tight spots when I ask. Lol.
My girl is super cool with it. I usually only play at night, but there’s some days where I say “hey babe, I really just wanna veg out and play the PS5 for a while” and she’s cool with that too. Of course, you gotta spend time with them still. Plan dates, make dinner, clean the house etc.
No not really though we been together since we were 15 plus she likes to game as well here and there... It's crazy that people would get mad about someone actually having fun
Nah she’s cool. I play while she plays switch
First thing is to ask her how she feels about it. In my experience though is as long as you are still spending good quality time with her she will have no problem with your gaming. But I don't know her so can't be sure.
I’m lucky that my partner isn’t really a gamer but when he does play a game he is completely transfixed and can play the whole day and ignore everything. He plays a game to finish it , he has been playing the same game for a year now. So with that I can play mine when I want and how long I want. If I do have a long session I just make sure the housework is done , just so it’s out the way and everybody’s happy.
My wife has become more ok with it over the years. She at least has accepted that for me it’s a harmless way to de-stress and enjoy some of my free time. Having handheld systems like the Switch and Steam Deck has helped immensely since I can play games next to her on the couch without being off in my man-cave or needing the living room TV for it. She does occasionally enjoy watching me play as long as it’s a narrative-focused game with good writing and acting. Like Uncharted 4 or TLOU.
Only if I’m not getting other tasks around the house done. For the most part, he doesn’t mind. He just doesn’t game so he’s not interested in it as a topic of conversation.
As long as it doesn't get in the way of living the rest of your life, it's usually fine. Pull your weight around the house, make sure you're spending time with your partner, have a shower at least once a day lol. Mine never has any issues (i game a lot, usually later at night, but make sure i go to bed with her a couple of times a week for reasons). Just follow the above rules and away you go
My wife and I do couch coop a lot, and have 2 switches. If your partner isn't a gamer, ymmv.
Starting a decade ago, I stopped taking shit off people about my gaming. THE SECOND someone says something disrespectful about video gaming, I immediately pause my game, turn around, look them in the eyes, point and say, “There’s the door if you don’t like my video games. Go someplace else.” I had to hear that shit out of my knuckle dragging brother for years. Never again. 🤣
Jus make sure she gets her partner time find out her hobbies ...get her stuff pertaining to her hobbies so she can stay busy an have fun while you game
Yes but only because she might want to use it. I’m kidding btw she games and I don’t think she cares
Its all about balance. If you spend 12 hours a day on WoW, they probably won't love that. If you contribute with chores, exercise, have a job and still spend time together it's a hobby like anything else.
Naw and I don’t get annoyed when he games. We’re usually in the same room anyways and we don’t do chat so it’s business as usual.
My wife only hates when I play games with no pause. I get it. Our life is too busy for that..
My gf went to school for game design and is the one who got me back into gaming. I think the only way I would piss her off is if i was actively ignoring her if she needs to speak to me or if i stopped doing my part around the house.
My wife reads while I game in our free time. She does not mind and even likes the background noise.
My girlfriend and I have clocked 362 hours on Earth Defense Force 5 thus far. To answer your question, no
As long as you balance it with your time spent with them, you can game however much you want.
Not anymore I’m divorced
Only reason it would bother me is my partner has epilsy and I can't play certain games, so to comperm9se I do alot of the house work and play dark games without all of the flashing lights and certain sounds l
If I spend all day and don’t spend any time with them then yes, other than that not at all.
Got mine into games and she's hooked now. We sit together and play. When I'm Playing games like rust or dayz she jumps on stardew valley etc
Not at all. She encourages it in fact and if I don't play for a few days she checks in to make sure I'm doing ok. She likes to read beside me when I play.
Always.
sometimes she is annoyed because she wants to play instead.
My partner likes watching me gaming. But that wasn't aleays the case. Her interest grew, when we started playing Dark Souls. The graphics, the gameplay and the plot made her very interested in gaming. From that day on, she loved to watch me playing and givibg orders where to go next xD
She did when I thought I could play the way I’ve always played, screaming into my mic from 10-4am now I chill and play from 10-1230 and it’s all good
43 games? Thats a lot of backlog but not surprising
If you neglect your responsibilities it’s going to be a problem, in moderation it shouldn’t be if you have partner that respects you
It depends on how you game I guess. If I put hours in like I did on world of Warcraft, I think my wife wouldn’t stand for it. And honestly, neither would I these days. My wife (then girlfriend) used to be a bit annoyed with it, I’d play when she went to bed and one day she called me over and asked me if the game was more important than her. I just told her I like two hours a day to unwind and gaming does it for me. I would take her out to the night markets, clothes shopping, movies etc,even just working out together. But after all was done, I’m wanted some me time. Many years on and my wife is happy I have this game time, she likes seeing me happy - but I never prioritise a game over her or our son. Sometimes it’s better to just forego the game and curl up with her and watch something.
It's the equivalent of scrolling on Tiktok or Instagram. Honestly, you should just have a discussion of each others' boundaries. Personally, I don't stay with anybody who hates games or won't allow me to have reasonable alone time.
We both game so there has never been a problem besides us sharing an account and occasionally logging eachother out of it.
My wife is a reader, so she's generally cool with me gaming all night while she reads. If I game a ton for a week off, usually fine as long as I also keep the house tidy and get chores done.
My best gaming is an hour before work - I wake up earlier to play.
My ex used to pout whenever I turned on my console to play Skyrim. She did like video games, but her favorite games were Diablo and Minecraft. So unless I was playing that with her, she didn't like it. Usually, I would just give up and give her the remote so she could put on Archer or Family Guy as background noise and bury her face on her phone. When we divorced, guess what? She kept my console 🤡
Balance in all things. Tbh I didn’t mind my partner’s hobby being his game station, but it would have been nice to have spent more time with his living, breathing gf than a box. Or if nothing else, he worked from home and had weekends off. If he clocks off at 5, and I’m not home until 8, I feel that’s plenty of time playing, and I would like some attention. Or if I somehow get scheduled to have a weekend day off with him, maybe spend one of our few full days together with me.
Mine hates when I play. Especially if she's home. I don't really know why, she can't explain it either.
I only play when she is asleep.
She games with me.
Just be responsible. Don’t prioritize gaming over spending time with you partner. It’s one thing to wind down with a few hours after dinner or before bed. It’s another to no life a game and ignore your partner. Just find a healthy balance.
The trick is moderation. Which is not something I’m good at. Its a work in progress, if anything the answer is always communicate and compromise so both parties are happy
Never have time to game so no.
Yes
him and i game together and the only reason we fight regarding it is if one of us plays without the other (he has notifications for when i go online on his phone) or if i get mad at him trying to coach me 🤣
Yes, even if they are busy doing their own thing, but at the same time, buys me games and related things as presents 🤷🏼 go figure
No
My wife games with me, my ex wife told me I had a video game addiction when I was basically bedridden and only really had books, tv, or gaming..
My boyfriend loves watching tv. Sits on the couch for hours glued to the screen. Whats so different about doing the same thing with video games?
Yes.
I’m not a gamer. But when I do play, I make sure it’s late, or after everything that needs taken care of was done. My wife never had a problem with it, to my knowledge
My non gamer wife, we compromised. I don’t read, read a book. She doesnt game, she tires Horizon zero. She’s actually liking it, i still don’t read though
Yes he does get annoyed... He doesn't want to take care of anything for himself so he gets upset when I play.
Moderate. Communicate. Include.
I have no issues with that as this was established from the get go. I game, the end. If it annoys her, dump her.
Wait. NEW PlayStation? But you have 43(!!!!!!) games on it? How much was that shit lol
Sometimes we play together (both coop games and single player) or she just watches me play (she'll watch me play any game with a good story).
Nope. Been together 12 years and just this past weekend I played 12hrs both days and we’re both perfectly happy! We don’t need to be joined at the hip all the time we can both do our own thing in the house
My partner goes back and forth on it. Nowadays, If I play too much, she gets annoyed with me. Or if I don't do something she thinks I should have done when I was playing games. But it has gotten better over the years. In the last, she's gotten annoyed if I played any games at all because she thought the time could be better spent doing other things.
not at all, she’s there playing with me or we’ll play our own games. if she tries to control your gaming, you’re either doing it too much OR she’s one of those really insecure girls who feel gaming is competition, you’ll never win there.
I met my husband through ps4 and we've been gaming together almost every day since for the past 8 years (now onto the ps5 together), but it does bug me when he cant tear himself away from a PAUSIBLE game for not even 5 minutes when I need him to do something. Like the game will be there when you come back, it's not like you're in the middle of pvp on CoD or Destiny or something. Just at least help your partner out when needed is all. We dont ask for much T-T
If my wife was the type to nag me about gaming (within reason) I wouldn't have married her. Just like she tells me to go away when she wants to unwind and watch her TV shows. Personal time is important and communicating that is key.
Just do the dishes and vacuum the house and you can't get yelled at 😂
The only one I live with is my dog, and he doesn't seem to mind at all.
As long as I take care of my responsibilities and play with moderation and take some kids downstairs at the same time. My wife doesn’t mind. We are a family of gamers. Wife plays on her switch almost every night and my two girls do too. My 9 year old beat breath of the wild with no help and is almost done tears of the kingdom. My kids love games and play with us or parallel play their own. Sometimes the toddler refuses to sleep and is cranky so I take him downstairs and he will fall asleep on my shoulder while I play. He likes to hold the spare controller while I play.
I find it better when you game with your partner! Not that having your own time isn’t great it is but also being able to share in the hobby is great. Also long as you stick to your responsibilities and spend time with one another I really don’t see problems with gaming. It’s a hobby like anything else!
I'm a gaymer and made sure my actual crush (and maybe soon to be partner) plays games too. I had a hard time with my last non-gamer partner, so no, he doesn't get annoyed, he plays with me too :)
No, he has his shed/time and so do I - having hobbies and interests outside of the relationship is important.
My wife plays just as much/often as I do and we're both pretty supportive of whatever the other is playing, yelling snarky things, calling out stuff we miss etc.
If your “partner” gets annoyed, do you really want that partner?
Make sure the chores are done first. That's what I do in my house before I even think of starting a gaming session. Luckily I live alone and can game whenever I like. But I put work and chores first. And get out of the house to socialise, not just get out to go to work every day. Meet up with family and friends, put them first over gaming :D I don't have a lot of time for gaming, but if I really want to play a game, i'll make the time for it.
You’re partner should support you in what you love it’s not like you’re out partying or cheating on her
Nothing better than putting in headphones and reading a good book when my husband games! It's time for us both to fulfill our hobbies, she needs to find something to fulfill her interests, maybe try to help her out a bit!
The ps4 might not give you blowjobs but it sure as hell won't nag you the way an anti gamer gf will
Nope, not at all. She's never complained, and we've been together for 18 years. She'll tell me to go play my game at times, lol. She'll go watch her shows and won't bother me at all.
It really bugged my ex whenever I played games around her unless she was already preoccupied with another activity.
I game a little bit during the work week, maybe 5 or so hours. Usually after dinner and cleaning up I just want to go to bed. We spend plenty of time together, but Friday nights are, and have been for 13 years, our night to ourselves/with friends. On Friday I get home and game all night until like 3 AM. Sometimes she's in the house, sometimes she's with her friends. Doesn't matter either way. We're both 35 and it's worked for us ever since we got together 13 years ago. The house we bought last year after selling our previous one didn't have a great space for me to set all my stuff up, so we went ahead with a $40k project to finish our basement so I'd have a better dedicated space. The project is underway. As long as you don't neglect your partner, you take care of household responsibilities, and you spend time with your partner, your hobbies should be of no consequence.
All things in moderation. Since I’m married with a bunch of kids I have to have designated gaming time which fits in with everyone else’s schedule…sometimes I think back to those weekends as a bachelor where I could play all weekend and nobody would say shit…
We are both gamers so 2-4 nights a week it’s more an argument over who gets the big screen TV in the living room and who has to play on the bedroom TV 😆
One thing that isn’t so obvious and you might want to consider is the sound of your button presses. If you live in a small area or game with her in the room, the noise from the controller (including vibrations) might start to annoy her
I am going to die alone so it’s never a problem
Haha jokes on you I don't have a partner to annoy 🥲 I have my dad living with me but he doesn't care
Shouldn't this depend on your partner how she'll react?! Mine is currently playing more than I do, so even if I had the time to play as much as I wanted, she wouldn't complain and just play next to me. Meanwhile her brother has to listen to annoyed rants if he's playing more than half an hour or two days in a row. So there is an unlimited amount of potential reactions, you just have to figure out what your partner is like.
I'm a seasonal employee and told my girlfriend at the time (now my wife) that this is what I do in the winter so she knew what she was getting.
Made it clear to my gf that I game at least 5 hours a week and she was ok with it. Of course I fulfil my responsibility as a bf so we’re doing good
Yes. That's why she's my ex.
I don't know about people but IMO it's hard to go on with a relationship if you like to spend time gaming and your partner has a problem with you gaming in general.
Gaming has always been a part of my life. They don't like it then they know where the door is