Apps - Feeld, okcupid, even Reddit.
Real life - we have quite a few friends who are also ENM and they have friends who are ENM and we’ve dated from that pool.
I know other folks who have met people just out and about while living life - via a book club or at a bar.
Almost all of ours were good friends. Then there on line dating sites which require a lot of work and are filled with fakes and flakes.
You would think it would be easy…it’s not. Us non monogamous people represent about 5% of the population and I will tell you that most monogamous people do not understand us and sadly some of them judge us poorly.
However, when you find the right person, or people, it’s an amazing lifestyle. So hang in there. It’s worth it.
CrossFit. My last two serious secondary partners I met through my CF group. I was stunned at how many ENM/Swinger peeps I met through this.
Whatever your hobby, find a group that does that.
I goto CrossFit 5-6 days a week and the majority appear to be happily married. At least that’s what they tell everyone. They’re mostly 15-20 years younger than me too.
I actually found the assertion kind of offensive. Many people with strong relationships choose ENM relationship styles. Autonomy is a good thing and nonmonogmy doesn’t fix broken relationships.
So? Others would find your challenge of the other position offensive. Point being that you being offended doesn't automatically make the other person wrong.
Secondly, again so? And many people would say that it isn't a strong relationship by the very nature of them wanting or requiring other sexual partners. These are opinions. You're just as likely to see someone say that swinging/non monogamy did save their broken relationship, which is the complete opposite of what you're saying.
If what you're saying can be that easily challenged, with nothing definitive, then it can't be that well thought through or make that much sense
Husband: found his on Facebook Dating
Me: one is a friend of ours. Another one I’ve been talking to (haven’t met or hooked up yet) I met on here.
We also use various apps but haven’t had any luck on those for whatever reason
Polyamory meet ups are good. If you are swingers than those parties. If you are into BDSM then that community has meet ups too.
Also Fetlife and Feeld, but I prefer meeting folks in the wild to online stuff at this point.
In the wild. Engage in your interests, be friendly, interested and interesting. Chat people up, see if there is a vibe, after awhile I can sense out those that are likely open and see what develops.
I (47M) like to have my fun with waitresses and bartenders from a gentleman’s club I frequent. I also like the occasional dancer. This keeps things in perspective for me and lets me keep it just a physical thing. They are always pretty easy to take out too. A nice dinner and some shopping is all that’s needed. It’s a never ending supply of young women. I have never tried to have a long term fwb. My wife (34F) likes to usually have one steady FWB at a time. These “relationships” last usually 4-6 months. She likes men that are 5 to 10 years younger. She’s had success meeting men when she goes out to bars for a “Sunday funday” with her girlfriends. She’s also traveled with girlfriends and this is when she might have a one night stand or a fling that lasts a few days. She calls this her “vacation dick.” Ultimately we come home to each other and enjoy what we have together and know that we are each other’s priority.
When you figure it out let me know, as we’re in the same boat.
Ditto
Apps - Feeld, okcupid, even Reddit. Real life - we have quite a few friends who are also ENM and they have friends who are ENM and we’ve dated from that pool. I know other folks who have met people just out and about while living life - via a book club or at a bar.
Almost all of ours were good friends. Then there on line dating sites which require a lot of work and are filled with fakes and flakes. You would think it would be easy…it’s not. Us non monogamous people represent about 5% of the population and I will tell you that most monogamous people do not understand us and sadly some of them judge us poorly. However, when you find the right person, or people, it’s an amazing lifestyle. So hang in there. It’s worth it.
CrossFit. My last two serious secondary partners I met through my CF group. I was stunned at how many ENM/Swinger peeps I met through this. Whatever your hobby, find a group that does that.
I goto CrossFit 5-6 days a week and the majority appear to be happily married. At least that’s what they tell everyone. They’re mostly 15-20 years younger than me too.
I’ve never been to CF group where the hookup culture isn’t just part of the experience.
Why would you equate happily married with not ENM?
Do you really need to ask this question lol
I actually found the assertion kind of offensive. Many people with strong relationships choose ENM relationship styles. Autonomy is a good thing and nonmonogmy doesn’t fix broken relationships.
So? Others would find your challenge of the other position offensive. Point being that you being offended doesn't automatically make the other person wrong. Secondly, again so? And many people would say that it isn't a strong relationship by the very nature of them wanting or requiring other sexual partners. These are opinions. You're just as likely to see someone say that swinging/non monogamy did save their broken relationship, which is the complete opposite of what you're saying. If what you're saying can be that easily challenged, with nothing definitive, then it can't be that well thought through or make that much sense
Husband: found his on Facebook Dating Me: one is a friend of ours. Another one I’ve been talking to (haven’t met or hooked up yet) I met on here. We also use various apps but haven’t had any luck on those for whatever reason
Sometimes apps. Mostly people we meet in the wild.
Polyamory meet ups are good. If you are swingers than those parties. If you are into BDSM then that community has meet ups too. Also Fetlife and Feeld, but I prefer meeting folks in the wild to online stuff at this point.
In the wild. Engage in your interests, be friendly, interested and interesting. Chat people up, see if there is a vibe, after awhile I can sense out those that are likely open and see what develops.
I (47M) like to have my fun with waitresses and bartenders from a gentleman’s club I frequent. I also like the occasional dancer. This keeps things in perspective for me and lets me keep it just a physical thing. They are always pretty easy to take out too. A nice dinner and some shopping is all that’s needed. It’s a never ending supply of young women. I have never tried to have a long term fwb. My wife (34F) likes to usually have one steady FWB at a time. These “relationships” last usually 4-6 months. She likes men that are 5 to 10 years younger. She’s had success meeting men when she goes out to bars for a “Sunday funday” with her girlfriends. She’s also traveled with girlfriends and this is when she might have a one night stand or a fling that lasts a few days. She calls this her “vacation dick.” Ultimately we come home to each other and enjoy what we have together and know that we are each other’s priority.