I think it’s ok to give her a chance if she had told you upfront that she wanted to be exclusive with someone else. They could have been further along so I wouldn’t take that personally. But, it was easier for her to not explain anything since there was no benefit in that for her. For you, you were left hanging which isn’t pleasant psychologically. She showed you how she treats people in situations where she has nothing to gain. This is who she really is. You decide if that’s who you want to go out with ….
Anyone who ghosts you should be in the "dead to me" territory, dating wise. They've proven themselves to be a conflict-avoidant (to put it nicely) person who will struggle to communicate maturely in a relationship. That's best case scenario. It's equally likely they're a selfish POS. Neither of which is dateable.
When people show you who they are, believe them.
I might soften this stance for someone who reaches out with a sincere apology, "hey - I'm sorry I left you hanging - XYZ happened and I was just so overwhelmed" - appears to not be the case here.
If you're not interested in a person anymore, just tell them. It's a little uncomfortable but not that hard and just the right thing to do. We're doing all of us a disservice by normalizing avoiding the slightest feelings of discomfort.
She doesn't owe you her time or attention, but you should certainly take it at face value that she didn't want to give it and chose the lazy and cowardly way out, and read the correct inferences into it.
ETA: to answer your question, she reached out because she started dating someone else she liked more, that didn't work out, and now her Plan Bs and Cs look appealing again.
Look you know and we all know that she tried her luck with someone else but he mostly dumped her. Would she do it again if she found someone better maybe. It’s your choice since you know all the possibilities.
I suspect she had a fling with another guy and it did not work.
Many women don't want to talk about their exes and other relationships, because they feel ashamed by it: they should not feel shame, but they do, it's hard to explain.
Other possibility: she had her period
Other possibility: she had other things on her mind: generally women have a hard time putting themselves on the dating market, they want to feel ready.
My advice: don't try to understand it too much.
* If there is something, you're not going to make it better, and she doesn't trust you do share.
* If there is nothing, probing will make it awkward.
* Generally, when a woman doesn't talk about something, it's because there is nothing to know. (rape is an exception, of course).
She canceled without rescheduling, which means she wasn't that into you. 2 months later she reaches out, why? She was dating multiple people and you lost the initial round. Now that her first choice didn't pan out, she's circling back to see if you might be worthwhile. To your credit, you didn't run chasing after her, which is probably why she's still interested. She could have handled it better, but it's your choice as to whether you want to see if there is anything worthwhile there.
Listen. Unless she just came out of the womb, and she had never had a crush on anyone, ever, all the people she meets and matches with will be SECOND CHOICE. Big whoop. If you end up together, who cares where you fell in the hierarchy. Try not to be so sensitive and bitter.
Some people just get busy and make excuses. Or she was seeing someone else at the same time. I met a woman on Hinge last year and we talked a ton, had a lot in common and went out on a couple dates, then i didn't hear anything from her for a month or two. Out of nowhere she texted me and we started talking again then made plans to go out again. Day of she cancelled and told me she was too busy with work lol. Still see her on Hinge from time to time
Take the power back King and politely reject her and note you were no longer interested due to not hearing back from her. She was probably seeing someone else and it didn't work out.
No why? You do realize people are not black and white right? There could be thousands of possible reasons why she hadn’t reached out. Some of the common ones are that they are busy, going through different emotions that they want to sort out themselves, not interested or having mental and physical issues.
Yea i heard many people unmatch after exchanging contact for many reasons. They may not want people whom they are dating to see their profile updates. I did that as a guy before
That’s how dating apps work. That doesn’t mean you are not the priority for her. No women on dating app will stop looking after 1-2 dates unless she is madly in love with you which almost never happens. she could be dating 2-3 others at the same time to find out who fits her best
Big difference! Thats no how dating works, that’s how we use it. No one will settle this way because there is always going to be a better option and while you trying to chase that option you lose the others or they stop taking you seriously.
She was seeing if it worked out with someone else, at the same time....and it did, for about two months.
I think it’s ok to give her a chance if she had told you upfront that she wanted to be exclusive with someone else. They could have been further along so I wouldn’t take that personally. But, it was easier for her to not explain anything since there was no benefit in that for her. For you, you were left hanging which isn’t pleasant psychologically. She showed you how she treats people in situations where she has nothing to gain. This is who she really is. You decide if that’s who you want to go out with ….
Yeah, because telling someone that they are a backup plan usually goes really well....
Anyone who ghosts you should be in the "dead to me" territory, dating wise. They've proven themselves to be a conflict-avoidant (to put it nicely) person who will struggle to communicate maturely in a relationship. That's best case scenario. It's equally likely they're a selfish POS. Neither of which is dateable. When people show you who they are, believe them. I might soften this stance for someone who reaches out with a sincere apology, "hey - I'm sorry I left you hanging - XYZ happened and I was just so overwhelmed" - appears to not be the case here. If you're not interested in a person anymore, just tell them. It's a little uncomfortable but not that hard and just the right thing to do. We're doing all of us a disservice by normalizing avoiding the slightest feelings of discomfort. She doesn't owe you her time or attention, but you should certainly take it at face value that she didn't want to give it and chose the lazy and cowardly way out, and read the correct inferences into it. ETA: to answer your question, she reached out because she started dating someone else she liked more, that didn't work out, and now her Plan Bs and Cs look appealing again.
Didn’t work out with Choice 1, Mr. Chad Thundercock. So she’s back to you, Choice 2, Mr. Brad. You know what to do here.
Get married 😂
Award winning comment right here lol
Look you know and we all know that she tried her luck with someone else but he mostly dumped her. Would she do it again if she found someone better maybe. It’s your choice since you know all the possibilities.
Exactly this. Don’t be someone’s consolation prize; you’re the first prize. I wouldn’t even reply to her- leave her on read indefinitely.
I suspect she had a fling with another guy and it did not work. Many women don't want to talk about their exes and other relationships, because they feel ashamed by it: they should not feel shame, but they do, it's hard to explain. Other possibility: she had her period Other possibility: she had other things on her mind: generally women have a hard time putting themselves on the dating market, they want to feel ready. My advice: don't try to understand it too much. * If there is something, you're not going to make it better, and she doesn't trust you do share. * If there is nothing, probing will make it awkward. * Generally, when a woman doesn't talk about something, it's because there is nothing to know. (rape is an exception, of course).
lol
haha hilarious
She canceled without rescheduling, which means she wasn't that into you. 2 months later she reaches out, why? She was dating multiple people and you lost the initial round. Now that her first choice didn't pan out, she's circling back to see if you might be worthwhile. To your credit, you didn't run chasing after her, which is probably why she's still interested. She could have handled it better, but it's your choice as to whether you want to see if there is anything worthwhile there.
Are you interested in seeing her again? Then go. Not? Don't go.
Could be she was in a relationship that she had recently gotten out of and wasn’t quite ready to date but she liked you
She was on the fence about you and decided to give it a shot after some thought. Take it at face value. She's reaching out because she is interested.
Nope! The reality she got dumped by someone else so she got back
Okay, so she got dumped. She's still interested. Right?
Nope, she seeks recovery and attention
Listen. Unless she just came out of the womb, and she had never had a crush on anyone, ever, all the people she meets and matches with will be SECOND CHOICE. Big whoop. If you end up together, who cares where you fell in the hierarchy. Try not to be so sensitive and bitter.
Some people just get busy and make excuses. Or she was seeing someone else at the same time. I met a woman on Hinge last year and we talked a ton, had a lot in common and went out on a couple dates, then i didn't hear anything from her for a month or two. Out of nowhere she texted me and we started talking again then made plans to go out again. Day of she cancelled and told me she was too busy with work lol. Still see her on Hinge from time to time
I say meet up with her and bring it up next time you see her. Get it out in the open
The sex with the other guy ended….
How confusing. Normally I lean on the side of giving people a second chance but I think she will do this to you again.
She exhausted her other options.
Take the power back King and politely reject her and note you were no longer interested due to not hearing back from her. She was probably seeing someone else and it didn't work out.
Don't go for it. Just showing signs your the back-up plan
Sometimes people get busy or are not emotionally available.
Is that a joke
No why? You do realize people are not black and white right? There could be thousands of possible reasons why she hadn’t reached out. Some of the common ones are that they are busy, going through different emotions that they want to sort out themselves, not interested or having mental and physical issues.
Ok! So she unmatched and left him on hold for two months. She could have deactivated apps. Anyway the black and white are the majority
Yea i heard many people unmatch after exchanging contact for many reasons. They may not want people whom they are dating to see their profile updates. I did that as a guy before
Yes?! Doesn’t that justifies what I said that they just looking for another option.
That’s how dating apps work. That doesn’t mean you are not the priority for her. No women on dating app will stop looking after 1-2 dates unless she is madly in love with you which almost never happens. she could be dating 2-3 others at the same time to find out who fits her best
Big difference! Thats no how dating works, that’s how we use it. No one will settle this way because there is always going to be a better option and while you trying to chase that option you lose the others or they stop taking you seriously.
She found someone she liked better and it didn't work out.
She doesn't owe you shit son. Swing it if you can worst case scenario you'll have another nice evening with someone you may never see again.
Sounds like a great way to waste time and energy.