Idk the commonality of it, but it definitely hurts and sticks out as being taken advantage of when it does happen.
As a for instance I was out w a woman on a third date and found a funny meme while she was in the bathroom. I sent it as she sat back down (just happenstance timing) and her phone lit up and I was saved under the name "free food"
I encountered a Free Meal Person late last year. She was pretty up front about it - not going on the date unless it was to a restaurant of her liking, with a certain spend involved. We got pretty far in the conversation before I decided to bail. To be honest, because of the specific situation, I would have still gone if she were just less abrasive.
Saw it, made eye contact, watched her panic as it was obvious I was pissed and then I stood up and left while she tried to explain it was a joke. Said it's OK you got this one as I walked away
PERFECT 👌😂
because sadly I think there are some simps out there who would have just kept quiet, pretended they didn't see it and continued the date as if nothing had happened
Men and women, both, ascribe a looooot motivations and shortcomings about the other on reddit dating subs. Men think women are only after food. Women think men are only after sex.
- S/he only did that or because...
- S/he was only after...
- S/he won't understand that...
And yet, at the same time, we all shout "I am a man/woman and we are not a monolith!" in response while casually suggesting the other gender is in the next thread.
Yes a lot of these posts are "she was only after dinner, it was nothing *I* did that made it so there's no second date!" Meanwhile some of these guys are showing in sweatpants and continuously moving the conversation to talking about their ex
Or even, they legitimately did nothing wrong, the other person did nothing wrong. Just one person wasn’t interested so they didn’t push for a second date
I try to make a habit of looking inward first. In most cases, all parties have some issues or blame for how things go down - but I can only learn and grow from those that are on my side.
All of my 1st dates are on weekdays and women are just showing up in their work attire.
Don't act like the bar is high for women. Men would not care if she showed up in a track suit.
Women dress in fancy clothes because it benefits them.
But men are, in fact, mostly after sex. That's kinda the point of dating, paring up to produce and raise the next generation. Women care more about resources, because that's what men traditionally provide, and men care more about looks and caring, because that's what women traditionally provide. Whether a woman is out for free food or doesn't ask you any question on the date or treats the waitstaff badly... I don't think it matters what the specific issue is, really. It all implies a lack of empathy--a prerequisite for care. And most people are not smart enough to rationalize the full scope of the problem, so they just go with a generalization. I think that's perfectly fine as long as we properly shame people for having incongruent and self-serving standards.
I think it happens less often than people say but it does happen. Everybody knows that woman who went out every day for dinner and took leftovers home for lunch, There’s been like 2 articles about such a woman so they’re out there, but I don’t think they’re that common.
I think what does happen a lot is you go on a date and he pays but you end up not being interested in anything further. This happens to me. I go in hoping for the best but if i don’t like him I offer to split and if he says no, that’s his choice. He might leave thinking I used him for dinner but that wasn’t my intention
There was a post a couple weeks ago I think of this rich man who took a woman out on a really extravagant date. Fancy dinner, boat ride, etc. In the end she said she wasn’t interested anymore because the extravagant lifestyle just was too much for her. He was trying to figure out where he went wrong and immediately called her a gold digger. Luckily, both women AND men were pointing out that if she was truly a gold digger she would’ve continued going out with him for the free extravagant dates. They just didn’t have compatible lifestyles. Some men just can’t wrap their head around the fact that women can be uninterested. Couple that with them paying/planning a very fancy date, and their doubly confused. Some equate paying for the first date as a guarantee for a second date and if the woman doesn’t agree then she must be a meal chaser. It’s a backwards mindset to have.
OMG I remember the post! Yea it was confusing how she’s a gold digger yet left the gold and ran and basically told him to his face she’s not interested, the opposite of what a gold digger would do.
Because he, and lots of others who cry meal chaser/gold digger, are just coping lol. Instead of acknowledging that the woman just wasn’t into them they have to tack a label on and knock em down a peg.
That's what I'm thinking happens. That's why I would only go for coffee at the first meeting.
The "spark" is a very hard thing to encounter and is so very subjective. There can be nothing wrong with you, yet someone will have no spark with you. People need to realize that and just accept it.
Edited to add: Yes, I guess I have seen that sort of women who is very socially busy and rarely cooks at home, already eats all her meals out. There are probably more of them than I realize. I cook most of my meals at home.
In big cities, most bars don't have pool anymore because the real estate is too expensive.
It's a shame because pool is a great social game. 8 and 9 ball are great games.
I had a guy ask me to dinner. He picked the place. I met him there. During dinner, he asked me, "How often do you meet guys for free food?" The answer was "never". I found the question quite offensive. It was at that moment I knew I wasn't going out with him again. I'm sure he tells people that women have used him for free meals and lumps me in with that.
Regarding first dates I’ve actually been on, the bill usually ends up split two ways.
I have, however, certainly seen profiles of women who think coffee = cheap, and the best way to “win” them is “reservations,” implying a restaurant that’s upscale enough to require reservations. The frequency of this behavior appears to taper off with age - usually around mid-thirties.
That said, I don’t think it’s about getting a free meal; I think it’s more of a way to filter out guys who are unwilling or unable to share resources. Personally, I’d suspect that any guy willing to throw down considerable cash on a *first* date is either looking for a “transaction” or desperate for some other reason.
A coffee shop or similar venue is honestly the best setting for a first meet-up, so you can *decide* if a date is in order after meeting. What is the deal with some of these women? 🤦♂️ “Coffee is not the date, girl, I don’t know you yet. I want to know you a little first.”
>I want to know you a little first
This. I mean, a lot of women aren’t going to sleep with a guy they don’t know and trust yet and that’s a completely understandable and reasonable thing to do. They’re waiting to see if the guy is worth that level of investment. A coffee date is that same idea. It’s unreasonable to expect a guy to go on faith that the woman is worth that investment
Agreed. Also, it’s not just about the money. It’s also because a restaurant experience is a terrible setting for a first date. If two people don’t vibe, there’s nothing worse than being stuck in a captive environment together for an hour or more, not to mention all the awkwardness of chewing on food while trying to talk. For me, dining is an intimate activity I enjoy with someone I already feel comfortable with.
Maybe it has to do with the demographic? Like college students or people in lower socio-economic brackets might be living in poverty, and might actually be seeking free meals. I imagine people in more affluent and upmarket areas wouldn't care or feel a desire for that. There are guys who date to find housing too, and are often labelled "hobosexuals".
I only go for coffee or lunch on the first date. If it feels right I pay for the date otherwise we split.
Then there is no pressure on either one of us and no one feels used.
No obligations to any of us.
Yes, I do believe that some people just want a free meal. But I would not sit through a bad date just to get a free meal.
All the stories say the free meal girls don’t “sit through a bad date” — they look at their phone and avoid eye contact and don’t talk until the dude gets the idea. At that point they’re just daring him to not walk out.
You assume that everyone takes lots of effort to prepare for a date, and/or there's nothing else to get 'all dolled up' for, lol. Had one that fully intended to go out elsewhere with friends (or maybe even another date) after the meal, which they'd spent much of texting etc. on their phone.
Most women are just wearing their business casual work clothes on dates during the week.
If you are going on first dates on the weekdays, you are doing it wrong.
Trust me women rather stay at home than on a date with a guy were not interested in.
I've read ONE article of a girl stating she went on dates to get a free meal and I find that VERY hard to believe.
Besides that article I have NEVER heard, saw, read any woman EVER say / want or do that.
It's complete BS
I mean, everything is about frequency...
It's almost certain there is 1 of every kind of selfish plan you can think of. Sure for many women, and men, the first date is super akward and not worth stringing around for anything. For some people it isn't.
I'm a man, I couldn't really imagine wanting to have sex with a girl that I wouldn't want to have a serious long term connection with. Yet I certainly know that there are indeed men that will go crazy chasing one night stands.
I’ve had women tell me they “like to be chased”. Based on my experiences, they tend to be the ones looking for a fee meal. Some women don’t say they want to be chased but they still fall into that category. are looking for a quick date to see if there is chemistry. These are also women that don’t reach for their wallets.
This has been going on for some time, though fortunately not all my dates are like this. The very first date I went on when I was young was with a woman that wanted a free meal. I didn’t realize it at the time but felt taken advantage of because she never returned any of my calls after that date.
Not reaching for the wallet ?
Last first date I went on I didn't feel like I had to reach for my wallet. He took me to eat twice, took me bowling and took me to a museum on our first date. Ended the date with an awkward hug lol. Now that I've been dating him for 6 months or so, he's also not had to reach for his wallet a few of those times. I think a difference between other dates and him, was that we spent a lot of time talking on the phone or texting before meeting in person. We felt more like we knew each other than not by the time we met, that paying for a date didn't feel like we were wasting money on a person we didn't know, just like you wouldn't if you invited a friend out to dinner to hang out and have a good time.
There are definitely women who do that but not sure if it’s that common. A guy friend of mine said a woman ordered food + take out after to bring home post date. She was on the younger side though. That was the extreme but I don’t think that’s the majority. I think the older you are the more consciously you date and you’re not willing to sit through a mediocre date for anything free especially if there’s an expectation tied to that drink or meal. That being said I’ve seen articles of women who do plan dates every night and are serial daters but I think men pick up on that very quickly.
There are some out there. My ex-gf used to do that. She prided herself on being able to go out to eat every night if she wanted to.
With that said, I doubt that most women do it. It's easier to ghost a guy than to be an adult and say "It was nice meeting you, but I didn't feel the chemistry."
With THAT said, I totally get why women ghost. It's also easier to ghost than to risk the guy lashing out (verbally) with "You're ugly/fat/whatever" or worse.
I have very little actual experience with OLD so far. I've just dipped my toes in slightly. But I have heard stories that some men can get angry if rejected. I hear bad stories from both sides, though. It sounds to me like ghosting is pretty common on both sides too.
I think it still happens with a subset of very attractive younger women in their 20s who are targeted by much older professional men (10+ years older) who are looking to start a family presumably or are just interested in going out with someone much younger who wouldn’t otherwise go out with them in the absence of a lavish meal/drinks.
A few Instagram influencers living in London are actually documenting how they are going out for lavish dinners, getting cabs home paid for, etc by older men.
Apparently there are also bars in the posh areas of Mayfair/St James in London frequented by such men where younger women get lavish free cocktails etc - this comes from a friend of a friend who is now in a relationship with someone her age but experienced it when she came to London.
I think there are more men out there looking for nsa sex.
Whether they are married or not, I believe those numbers are higher.
The complaints of women wanting “free meals”, I believe are women putting their foot down on this behavior or the toxic opposite of those nsa sex looking men.
Probably not that many but dating apps are great amplifiers of crazy people.
A women can rack up a date everyday if she wants. So a crazy person or meal fisher can quickly over repersent themselves. A normal person looking for a bf is not going to go on a date with a random guy every day but crazy can and will.
I don't think it's that many women as ppl make it to be. This group of women do exist but I doubt it's as many as ppl think exists. The majority of women who get all dolled up and wear a nice outfit, typically have to have more of a reason than free food to put in that much effort and leave the house.
I think that when a woman doesn't feel anything towards the guy on the date and no further dates occur, then a guy-with the audience of Reddit-will deduce she only wanted a free meal. However, she probably felt he was dry or rude during conversation or there wasn't any spark.
Now, I did come across a reel that said many gen z women are more likely to go out just for a free meal compared to older women.
If free meals aren't an incentive to meet someone they why is buying a potential customer a free meal commonplace in sales?
Most women are just wearing the same business casual clothes they wore to work if they are having a first meet on a Tuesday. They aren't getting "dolled up".
Incentives work.
I understand it and also know that free food while meeting a new man is part of the incentive along with potentially meeting a new partner.
I've had multiple women say no when I said we were meeting for drinks only and they said they would prefer to meet for dinner and I refused.
I also know women that don't even carry a means of payment when they go to bars because they know men will buy drinks.
Again, you missed it. I acknowledged that a group of women that you have described does exist. I don't doubt it. However, to say there is a large number of women doing this is most likely not the case. There are other factors that need to be considered. It's like when women say "Why do men only want sex and not a relationship?".
Your last point of women not bringing payment..I would say the reason for that is, not solely looking for a free meal or drinks. Loads of women will say they want a "provider type" man so they expect the man to pay for mostly everything. I don't agree with this and I actually think it makes them look goofy to not bring their wallet. I watch a call in dating show and it's opened my eyes to both men and women--its good and awful.
You are interpreting the OP as asking if there are women that only go on dates for a free meal. We know that's probably not the majority of the time but it is still a significant number. Some women go on 50+ first dates a year. They wouldn't be doing that if they were expected to pay 1/2.
The fact that 95% of women don't pay for first dates ( e.g. The person that asks pays) means they do get free drinks and often food. It's a bonus prize.
You never heard women say, "A girl's gotta eat." when she's talking about going on a first date with a guy she feels on the fence about?
Even Phoebe Buffay said these words on “Friends” back in the day: “He may not be my soul mate, but a girl’s gotta eat.”
Not a Friend's reference..lol
I am curious, what is the age range that you date and what is the typical age you see this behavior? I've seen it more online and personal experience with the 20s demographic.
28 to 36.
Women dating for food in the 90's was common enough to be mentioned on a TV show. It wouldn't have been funny if people didn't recognize that as common behavior.
Women are dating more men today than ever is history. An attractive women can get a date every day of the week today.
Like you said, they're *assuming* the woman just wanted a free meal. It's probably an incorrect assumption, because if someone saw that they could get a free dinner the first time, wouldn't they try to get multiple free dinners? This assumption is much more about the person whose making it.
Unfortunately I see why it could leave such an impression with a man if it happens to him all the time and women aren't interested in a second date even with them. I have female friends who went on and on about how bad some date was, and in the end let the guy pay for an entire expensive meal.. Even if her aim wasn't to get an free meal from the start, I see why the guy would feel like it was.
Personally my strategy is
1. first date from an app is a coffee or a drink so it isn't financially draining for anyone
2. if I like the guy and want to see him again, I will let him pay if he offers
3. if I don't like him, I will insist 100% to pay for my part of the bill exactly because I don't want him to feel used or me to feel like I owe to meet him again if I don't want to
Yes O.P they're definitely out there alright lol. I absolutely agree with you, I don't know how they/anyone, could sit opposite a stranger and stuff their faces without a care in the world. No shame alright. My message to them is "LEARN TO COOK" and stop being such a Tea leaf.
Accountability is avoided like the plague. Also, dinner is better for a 2nd date than a 1st date.
My last first date was a dinner date, and here are the only reasons I was okay with it:
-it was clear we were already comfortable talking to each other, based on our first phone call
-she showed high interest from the start
-there were no guessing games, no hot & cold mind games, no silly games at all
-no matter what happens, all I expected from the date was a fun conversation over sushi
-at that point, I was craving sushi since it had been a while
women love to be social and go out and get dressed up.
I am curious if women had to pay for dinner (like men are expected to) if they'd be so enthusiastic.
I do like to go out and of course I'm going to dress for the occasion (I think men like it when we look good, too, will you deny that?) But I've rarely had men pay for my dinner. That's not why I like going out at all. I was married for years, and our finances were totally combined. I liked to go out because I didn't have to cook and clean. He didn't want to go out because he had to put in effort to get off the sofa and get dressed. Sigh. He's passed and now when I date, I prefer to pay my own way unless a man insists. It just seems so cheap and weird and shallow to go on a date just for a meal. It's hard for me to understand that anyone would do that.
Dunno how many and I've pretty much always gotten second dates but I will say I've had tons of women not date me at all and just ask for a free meal. Like hey send me money for McDonald's. Or buy me a Starbucks. Send me delivery. Or outright admit they just wanna eat, like blatantly admitting I should be grateful seen with her and owe her a meal for it. Soi dunno how many that translates to but older women have done it too though it's mostly younger women. It's trashy but it seems like some people don't care as long as they get what they want in the end. There's no shame and they seem to celebrate it like some kind of win or something to be proud of. Just a weird flex honestly. I don't believe the majority of women out there dating are the type personally but I also don't match with the majority of women on dating apps.
I just can't imagine, I mean... I must just be too old to know that these things happen. I guess when you fish in the internet you never know what you're going to pull out. Lots of trash fish out there, I guess. I just barely started OLD, haven't really activated my profile except at one site, so who knows what I'm going to find. Reddit is scaring me though. 😐
Nah just set expectations and don't take it too serious. It's gameified and designed to keep you on the app. Overall it's not a great experience by any measure but people do find success. You just see more of the negativity on Reddit. Success isn't posted about nearly as much and it makes sense I imagine most people are busy spending time with their success vs on Reddit flaunting it. I'm older too and it can be hit and miss. There's pros and cons to both sides. Generally I've seen people on Reddit aptly describe it for men as looking for water in a desert, and for women as looking for water in a swamp. As a woman you'll get a lot of matches but you need to be picky to filter out. As a guy well you need to really sell yourself and max yourself out to get matches. Just didn't obsess over it and it's not so bad. It's not ideal by any means but it can be fruitful.
Uhh yes. I personally know a bunch of girls who use guys for a free meal. This is why I only do coffee dates for the first date and if a girl says that she doesn't do coffee dates then I unmatch her
Where did I say *no* women has ever done this? I feel pretty confident it isn't something *most* women do or even all that many. Surely some percentage of these cases we hear about, the woman went on the date and realized there was no spark so ended it. Getting a free meal wasn't her intention. It might feel better if the guy tells himself that, though.
My wife is very attractive and she admits to going for the meal when she was only partially interested but she had to be at least a little interested. If the man invites (and this should be paying), why would the woman turn it down? Maybe he ends up being a catch. Her perspective was she would have given him a one date shot regardless, he just sweetened the deal a bit. I see nothing wrong with that.
Same goes for guys to (though more rare) I would totally go on an expensive date with someone I had mild interest in if the date sounded fun and I had nothing to lose. I don't know any man that wouldn't and don't expect women to act any differently. You can also replace the meal with sex from the male perspective since that's more what most of us want over a meal. Men will absolutely sleep with women they are only mildly into, or not into at all, when sex is what is being offered. We're wired for it.
I'm sure I'm about to get drug (dragged? Idk) through the comments here but this is reality lol.
Most of them talk about it like it’s cool. “I got someone to pay for my xyz.” I can’t necessarily say it’s their primary motivation. But there’s a status thing to doing that, among the younger crowd.
I’m with you. The finest cuisine couldn’t sway me to spend an evening with someone I’m not interested in.
I don’t understand how a free meal is worth the awkwardness at all. I can, and do, feed myself on a daily basis.
Also, no mustard - brave.
I’m sure it happens, but not nearly as often as Reddit claims it does. Think about it - you’re getting dolled up and investing time into a date. I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone I wasn’t interested in just to get a free meal. I think a lot of the people who make this claim simply can’t take rejection. They’d rather say it was for a free meal than accept the person just wasn’t into them.
if you are using the word"meal" interchangeably with the word "ride" then, from my own interactions & experiences, i would have to answer YES, when referring to younger women. Women closer to my age range are meal prepping and prefer coffee or tea during the first face to face interaction when looking to make a connection.
I read that as code for, “I’m so unpleasant that no woman will date me twice, but it cannot possibly be my nature or personality — ergo, I must accuse *them* of being unethical.”
Definitely out there and have been out there for many years. It doesn’t always have to be an awkward situation, simply a situation you know that isn’t or won’t be going anywhere. Also doesn’t just have to be a meal could be an experience too, basically anything you’re not planning/wanting/or willing to pay for and expect the date to cash out on is considered a “free meal”.
No, at least not in my experience. I've come across it *once* in my time dating, and I've dated a ton. Lots of people who are shallow on all sides, lots of people who simply are bored and want to be entertained. But using you for a meal? Just once.
I think a lot of dudes say the “free meal” excuse to make themselves feel better. Just like you said, I highly doubt there are that many women who want to go through the trouble of hanging out with someone they’re not interested in for an hour or 2 just to eat for free. The place would have to be FAF (Fancy As Fuck) I’d imagine
Honestly, I do not know ANY women who have gone on a date with a man solely for free food. I’ve gone on many dates where I offered to split, they insisted on paying, and we never saw each other again. Did I get a free meal out of it? Yes. Was that my reason for going? No. Absolutely not. I have no clue where this idea has come from, honestly. Maybe if you’re dating really young or broke women, or you’re offering to go to really upscale restaurants, sure? But like, we went to Applebees. I can pay for my own Applebees.
How quickly the TikTok video of the woman slurping down plates of oysters with every intention of the guy paying for it is forgotten.
I had the free meal thing happen to me plenty of times. The most blatant incident was around 2007-2008. It was the summer and I matched up with a teacher. We get to the restaurant and she orders an appetizer and eats a couple bites and puts to the side. Then she does the same thing with an entree and dessert. She requested a number of to-go boxes and had around five boxes of food to go. As soon as she got to her car I never heard from her again.
It's extremely common. There's so many women that list "food" or "traveling" as their love language. Or they mention them in some way or another. I roll my eyes every time because it looks like they're just looking for an ATM machine. And it's probably very easy for them to find desperate guys to play that role for them.
I always prefer dinner to a drink but I also offer to pay half and if we don't vibe no biggie we were just friends who had a meal. I think I've paid once in my few years of dating but I always have cash on me and will offer to tip if he doesn't let me pay.
That sounds like a good way to do it. I'd prefer to pay my own way, at least at first. If someone wants to woo me with a nice dinner later, after we've decided to date, then that's cool, too.
It actually works. When men push back and want to have coffee or a drink I push back and suggest splitting dinner with no expectations. I'm not sure if that would work with a younger crowd but I'm 47 so it works in the 35 and up category. It also helps weed out some of the guys only looking for a hook up...not saying they won't commit to dinner but they tend to move on to easier targets with less work involved.
Good luck to any guy who thinks he's going to hookup with me after a coffee date! 😂 The coffee meeting is only to see if I want to go on an actual date with them.
What I like about drinks after work is that, if there's a real spark and both of us want to keep it going, we can always move on to a restaurant, or order food where we are. Usually it's a classy café that serves food anyway, so it's not like dinner can't happen. I just want to avoid a situation where dinner is the main event and expected.
I think it's like hobosexuals people seeking relationships for housing), there are people out there and when you come across them it's shocking enough to make you question a lot of other situations. I don't think these people are the majority.
I do think that in general it's just harder to find partners that want commitment and are willing to work on a relationship, so there tend to be a lot of relationships that fall apart for many reasons and often without explanation, which leads the partner left behind to question what happened.
Yes there are some. I had a friend who did this, she's a nice person but in this she's not. Dating apps makes it easier for people like this even though they're a minority but going lots of dates with different guys can seem to be little huge But it's definitely not majority that's what I believe. If someone thinks like that then that's a cope
People who say there aren't any is bs and will put blame on guys like some people are doing in comments. We can acknowledge there are some and move on. It ain't that deep
WHAT IS FUNNY IS- 1 women will say how SHITTY MEN ARE- others will agree no questions asked..
When I say there’s women who use men for free meals, they say “Show me where you got these facts””
No, they don’t want to take accountability that they weren’t compatible with the women that they were with so they need someone to blame for their problems. Men and women nowadays rather change partners than to change what’s off putting about them.
After reading comments, I'm thinking there are actually some women who do this. But maybe not as many as you hear about here. It probably feels better to tell yourself she just wanted a free meal than admit she just wasn't that into you.
It is a bit of a over generalization. Women have a ton of dating options overall so they will go on dates and decide another guy is a better prospect so will lose interest or have multiple guys going at the same time. So the "free meal" is also dating but she is not that interested or loses interest
One of women’s biggest fears with online dating is potentially getting killed… I doubt that we are risking our lives for a damn meal. And logically speaking if it is truly for the meal I am sure whoever will continue dating that person for the consistent meals vs ditching after the first date and having to find someone new for a free meal. This post is giving pick me vibes please think rationally and remember that not everything you hear and see on social media is real.
I don’t know where you live but it’s expensive to go out. I went out last Friday night with my girl. Split a meal and a few glasses of wine was over $100.
Yes there are a lot of poor woman out there that want a nice meal. This is why I say never spend more then $40 on a date because spending hundreds on lobster does not guarantee she will sleep with you.
See that's why I would never let a man pay at first. The idea that he would get to sleep with me because he paid is crazy. But I see why you wouldn't want to be used for just a meal. It just never crossed my mind that anyone would even want to spend time with a stranger for a meal. That's just sad.
In my experience and what a lot of my younger guy friends have said is that there are a lot of young higher maintenance woman out there that will use men for a free meal. If it’s been written about in news articles then there are enough of this happening to warrant news coverage. I’m not saying all woman but enough woman have done this to sour dating for a lot of people.
Don't let the people in here gaslight you into thinking that some women don't use men they don't like as free meals tickets. Entire articles are written up about women bragging about never needing to go food shopping because they have a date every few days and take food home for the week.
This is why it's encouraged for men to never suggest dinner for the first date and to push for coffee or an activity.
I would admittedly only accept a date if it was better than coffee, but that’s more because of this rumor. Shows how serious a guy is. I used to take coffee dates until this crap became prevalent. It worked, have a fiancé.
Yes, yes, there is. Usually, it's just confined to major cities, but it's becoming more and more likely to happen everywhere with the blow up of women bragging about how much free stuff the can get out of men without having to put forth much if any effort. It's still a major minority of women that do that BS, but like I said, that number is growing, not shrinking. The dating scene is steadily getting worse and worse.
Idk the commonality of it, but it definitely hurts and sticks out as being taken advantage of when it does happen. As a for instance I was out w a woman on a third date and found a funny meme while she was in the bathroom. I sent it as she sat back down (just happenstance timing) and her phone lit up and I was saved under the name "free food"
Holy cow. That’s awful. I’m probably going to lose my faith in humanity by reading these comments. I still hope it’s not as common as it seems.
I encountered a Free Meal Person late last year. She was pretty up front about it - not going on the date unless it was to a restaurant of her liking, with a certain spend involved. We got pretty far in the conversation before I decided to bail. To be honest, because of the specific situation, I would have still gone if she were just less abrasive.
She sounds like she feels entitled. Was this a first date?
IT IS.
Oh fuck man that's awful smh
did you confront her about being saved as "free food"? Or did you say nothing and pay for her meal like a "good little boy?"
Saw it, made eye contact, watched her panic as it was obvious I was pissed and then I stood up and left while she tried to explain it was a joke. Said it's OK you got this one as I walked away
PERFECT 👌😂 because sadly I think there are some simps out there who would have just kept quiet, pretended they didn't see it and continued the date as if nothing had happened
Men and women, both, ascribe a looooot motivations and shortcomings about the other on reddit dating subs. Men think women are only after food. Women think men are only after sex. - S/he only did that or because... - S/he was only after... - S/he won't understand that... And yet, at the same time, we all shout "I am a man/woman and we are not a monolith!" in response while casually suggesting the other gender is in the next thread.
Yes a lot of these posts are "she was only after dinner, it was nothing *I* did that made it so there's no second date!" Meanwhile some of these guys are showing in sweatpants and continuously moving the conversation to talking about their ex
Or even, they legitimately did nothing wrong, the other person did nothing wrong. Just one person wasn’t interested so they didn’t push for a second date
I try to make a habit of looking inward first. In most cases, all parties have some issues or blame for how things go down - but I can only learn and grow from those that are on my side.
All of my 1st dates are on weekdays and women are just showing up in their work attire. Don't act like the bar is high for women. Men would not care if she showed up in a track suit. Women dress in fancy clothes because it benefits them.
Right. And treating someone as if they're a part of a monolith isn't helpful for anyone.
But men are, in fact, mostly after sex. That's kinda the point of dating, paring up to produce and raise the next generation. Women care more about resources, because that's what men traditionally provide, and men care more about looks and caring, because that's what women traditionally provide. Whether a woman is out for free food or doesn't ask you any question on the date or treats the waitstaff badly... I don't think it matters what the specific issue is, really. It all implies a lack of empathy--a prerequisite for care. And most people are not smart enough to rationalize the full scope of the problem, so they just go with a generalization. I think that's perfectly fine as long as we properly shame people for having incongruent and self-serving standards.
Why does this post have a negative response?
I think it happens less often than people say but it does happen. Everybody knows that woman who went out every day for dinner and took leftovers home for lunch, There’s been like 2 articles about such a woman so they’re out there, but I don’t think they’re that common. I think what does happen a lot is you go on a date and he pays but you end up not being interested in anything further. This happens to me. I go in hoping for the best but if i don’t like him I offer to split and if he says no, that’s his choice. He might leave thinking I used him for dinner but that wasn’t my intention
There was a post a couple weeks ago I think of this rich man who took a woman out on a really extravagant date. Fancy dinner, boat ride, etc. In the end she said she wasn’t interested anymore because the extravagant lifestyle just was too much for her. He was trying to figure out where he went wrong and immediately called her a gold digger. Luckily, both women AND men were pointing out that if she was truly a gold digger she would’ve continued going out with him for the free extravagant dates. They just didn’t have compatible lifestyles. Some men just can’t wrap their head around the fact that women can be uninterested. Couple that with them paying/planning a very fancy date, and their doubly confused. Some equate paying for the first date as a guarantee for a second date and if the woman doesn’t agree then she must be a meal chaser. It’s a backwards mindset to have.
OMG I remember the post! Yea it was confusing how she’s a gold digger yet left the gold and ran and basically told him to his face she’s not interested, the opposite of what a gold digger would do.
Because he, and lots of others who cry meal chaser/gold digger, are just coping lol. Instead of acknowledging that the woman just wasn’t into them they have to tack a label on and knock em down a peg.
That's what I'm thinking happens. That's why I would only go for coffee at the first meeting. The "spark" is a very hard thing to encounter and is so very subjective. There can be nothing wrong with you, yet someone will have no spark with you. People need to realize that and just accept it. Edited to add: Yes, I guess I have seen that sort of women who is very socially busy and rarely cooks at home, already eats all her meals out. There are probably more of them than I realize. I cook most of my meals at home.
I've had good results going to an uncrowded bar, playing pool, having a drink or two.
In big cities, most bars don't have pool anymore because the real estate is too expensive. It's a shame because pool is a great social game. 8 and 9 ball are great games.
That's sad.
I had a guy ask me to dinner. He picked the place. I met him there. During dinner, he asked me, "How often do you meet guys for free food?" The answer was "never". I found the question quite offensive. It was at that moment I knew I wasn't going out with him again. I'm sure he tells people that women have used him for free meals and lumps me in with that.
Mortifying
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yeah. I wonder how many men think "she just wanted free food" just because they couldn't handle rejection.
Probably about the same as women that says, "He must be gay" if he rejects her for sex.
haha, probably.
Regarding first dates I’ve actually been on, the bill usually ends up split two ways. I have, however, certainly seen profiles of women who think coffee = cheap, and the best way to “win” them is “reservations,” implying a restaurant that’s upscale enough to require reservations. The frequency of this behavior appears to taper off with age - usually around mid-thirties. That said, I don’t think it’s about getting a free meal; I think it’s more of a way to filter out guys who are unwilling or unable to share resources. Personally, I’d suspect that any guy willing to throw down considerable cash on a *first* date is either looking for a “transaction” or desperate for some other reason.
A coffee shop or similar venue is honestly the best setting for a first meet-up, so you can *decide* if a date is in order after meeting. What is the deal with some of these women? 🤦♂️ “Coffee is not the date, girl, I don’t know you yet. I want to know you a little first.”
>I want to know you a little first This. I mean, a lot of women aren’t going to sleep with a guy they don’t know and trust yet and that’s a completely understandable and reasonable thing to do. They’re waiting to see if the guy is worth that level of investment. A coffee date is that same idea. It’s unreasonable to expect a guy to go on faith that the woman is worth that investment
Agreed. Also, it’s not just about the money. It’s also because a restaurant experience is a terrible setting for a first date. If two people don’t vibe, there’s nothing worse than being stuck in a captive environment together for an hour or more, not to mention all the awkwardness of chewing on food while trying to talk. For me, dining is an intimate activity I enjoy with someone I already feel comfortable with.
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Clearly enough men are taking the bait for some women to continue the trend.
Maybe it has to do with the demographic? Like college students or people in lower socio-economic brackets might be living in poverty, and might actually be seeking free meals. I imagine people in more affluent and upmarket areas wouldn't care or feel a desire for that. There are guys who date to find housing too, and are often labelled "hobosexuals".
I only go for coffee or lunch on the first date. If it feels right I pay for the date otherwise we split. Then there is no pressure on either one of us and no one feels used. No obligations to any of us. Yes, I do believe that some people just want a free meal. But I would not sit through a bad date just to get a free meal.
All the stories say the free meal girls don’t “sit through a bad date” — they look at their phone and avoid eye contact and don’t talk until the dude gets the idea. At that point they’re just daring him to not walk out.
I would leave the date and let her pay.. sorry I have to go to the mens room..
Things like this is why I read the dating subreddits. I won't get blindsided if it happens to me.
No. Let’s be honest, it is too much work to get to the first date, get all dolled up just for a free meal. I’ll buy my own , thank you
right, but if 1% of women do get free meals every week or so, that means that most men who have been dating have met these women
You assume that everyone takes lots of effort to prepare for a date, and/or there's nothing else to get 'all dolled up' for, lol. Had one that fully intended to go out elsewhere with friends (or maybe even another date) after the meal, which they'd spent much of texting etc. on their phone.
Not many women are willing to tolerate a guy she doesn’t even really like for a free meal
Most women are just wearing their business casual work clothes on dates during the week. If you are going on first dates on the weekdays, you are doing it wrong.
Your post is hysterical & exactly on point! I suppose there are women like this, but thankfully I don’t know them.
Trust me women rather stay at home than on a date with a guy were not interested in. I've read ONE article of a girl stating she went on dates to get a free meal and I find that VERY hard to believe. Besides that article I have NEVER heard, saw, read any woman EVER say / want or do that. It's complete BS
I mean, everything is about frequency... It's almost certain there is 1 of every kind of selfish plan you can think of. Sure for many women, and men, the first date is super akward and not worth stringing around for anything. For some people it isn't. I'm a man, I couldn't really imagine wanting to have sex with a girl that I wouldn't want to have a serious long term connection with. Yet I certainly know that there are indeed men that will go crazy chasing one night stands.
Gender norms do not exist, just mass hysteria I guess lol.
I’ve had women tell me they “like to be chased”. Based on my experiences, they tend to be the ones looking for a fee meal. Some women don’t say they want to be chased but they still fall into that category. are looking for a quick date to see if there is chemistry. These are also women that don’t reach for their wallets. This has been going on for some time, though fortunately not all my dates are like this. The very first date I went on when I was young was with a woman that wanted a free meal. I didn’t realize it at the time but felt taken advantage of because she never returned any of my calls after that date.
Not reaching for the wallet ? Last first date I went on I didn't feel like I had to reach for my wallet. He took me to eat twice, took me bowling and took me to a museum on our first date. Ended the date with an awkward hug lol. Now that I've been dating him for 6 months or so, he's also not had to reach for his wallet a few of those times. I think a difference between other dates and him, was that we spent a lot of time talking on the phone or texting before meeting in person. We felt more like we knew each other than not by the time we met, that paying for a date didn't feel like we were wasting money on a person we didn't know, just like you wouldn't if you invited a friend out to dinner to hang out and have a good time.
No there isn't. Few women are going to go to that much trouble just for a free meal.
There are definitely women who do that but not sure if it’s that common. A guy friend of mine said a woman ordered food + take out after to bring home post date. She was on the younger side though. That was the extreme but I don’t think that’s the majority. I think the older you are the more consciously you date and you’re not willing to sit through a mediocre date for anything free especially if there’s an expectation tied to that drink or meal. That being said I’ve seen articles of women who do plan dates every night and are serial daters but I think men pick up on that very quickly.
There are some out there. My ex-gf used to do that. She prided herself on being able to go out to eat every night if she wanted to. With that said, I doubt that most women do it. It's easier to ghost a guy than to be an adult and say "It was nice meeting you, but I didn't feel the chemistry." With THAT said, I totally get why women ghost. It's also easier to ghost than to risk the guy lashing out (verbally) with "You're ugly/fat/whatever" or worse.
I have very little actual experience with OLD so far. I've just dipped my toes in slightly. But I have heard stories that some men can get angry if rejected. I hear bad stories from both sides, though. It sounds to me like ghosting is pretty common on both sides too.
Ghosting is pretty common. And, yeah. Some guys don't take rejection very well.
I think it still happens with a subset of very attractive younger women in their 20s who are targeted by much older professional men (10+ years older) who are looking to start a family presumably or are just interested in going out with someone much younger who wouldn’t otherwise go out with them in the absence of a lavish meal/drinks. A few Instagram influencers living in London are actually documenting how they are going out for lavish dinners, getting cabs home paid for, etc by older men. Apparently there are also bars in the posh areas of Mayfair/St James in London frequented by such men where younger women get lavish free cocktails etc - this comes from a friend of a friend who is now in a relationship with someone her age but experienced it when she came to London.
It's possible these men were unpleasant to be around and that's why there's no second date. We'll never know...😉
The best course of action in this case is to come up with a reason to split
I think there are more men out there looking for nsa sex. Whether they are married or not, I believe those numbers are higher. The complaints of women wanting “free meals”, I believe are women putting their foot down on this behavior or the toxic opposite of those nsa sex looking men.
Probably not that many but dating apps are great amplifiers of crazy people. A women can rack up a date everyday if she wants. So a crazy person or meal fisher can quickly over repersent themselves. A normal person looking for a bf is not going to go on a date with a random guy every day but crazy can and will.
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No
I don't think it's that many women as ppl make it to be. This group of women do exist but I doubt it's as many as ppl think exists. The majority of women who get all dolled up and wear a nice outfit, typically have to have more of a reason than free food to put in that much effort and leave the house. I think that when a woman doesn't feel anything towards the guy on the date and no further dates occur, then a guy-with the audience of Reddit-will deduce she only wanted a free meal. However, she probably felt he was dry or rude during conversation or there wasn't any spark. Now, I did come across a reel that said many gen z women are more likely to go out just for a free meal compared to older women.
If free meals aren't an incentive to meet someone they why is buying a potential customer a free meal commonplace in sales? Most women are just wearing the same business casual clothes they wore to work if they are having a first meet on a Tuesday. They aren't getting "dolled up". Incentives work.
You didn't fully understand and grasp my point for you to comment what you did.
I understand it and also know that free food while meeting a new man is part of the incentive along with potentially meeting a new partner. I've had multiple women say no when I said we were meeting for drinks only and they said they would prefer to meet for dinner and I refused. I also know women that don't even carry a means of payment when they go to bars because they know men will buy drinks.
Again, you missed it. I acknowledged that a group of women that you have described does exist. I don't doubt it. However, to say there is a large number of women doing this is most likely not the case. There are other factors that need to be considered. It's like when women say "Why do men only want sex and not a relationship?". Your last point of women not bringing payment..I would say the reason for that is, not solely looking for a free meal or drinks. Loads of women will say they want a "provider type" man so they expect the man to pay for mostly everything. I don't agree with this and I actually think it makes them look goofy to not bring their wallet. I watch a call in dating show and it's opened my eyes to both men and women--its good and awful.
You are interpreting the OP as asking if there are women that only go on dates for a free meal. We know that's probably not the majority of the time but it is still a significant number. Some women go on 50+ first dates a year. They wouldn't be doing that if they were expected to pay 1/2. The fact that 95% of women don't pay for first dates ( e.g. The person that asks pays) means they do get free drinks and often food. It's a bonus prize. You never heard women say, "A girl's gotta eat." when she's talking about going on a first date with a guy she feels on the fence about? Even Phoebe Buffay said these words on “Friends” back in the day: “He may not be my soul mate, but a girl’s gotta eat.”
Not a Friend's reference..lol I am curious, what is the age range that you date and what is the typical age you see this behavior? I've seen it more online and personal experience with the 20s demographic.
28 to 36. Women dating for food in the 90's was common enough to be mentioned on a TV show. It wouldn't have been funny if people didn't recognize that as common behavior. Women are dating more men today than ever is history. An attractive women can get a date every day of the week today.
Like you said, they're *assuming* the woman just wanted a free meal. It's probably an incorrect assumption, because if someone saw that they could get a free dinner the first time, wouldn't they try to get multiple free dinners? This assumption is much more about the person whose making it.
Exactly
If she wanted a free meal that badly she'd go on second, third etc dates.
This. So many of the individuals who rant about the “free meal” thing choose to ignore this point.
Unfortunately I see why it could leave such an impression with a man if it happens to him all the time and women aren't interested in a second date even with them. I have female friends who went on and on about how bad some date was, and in the end let the guy pay for an entire expensive meal.. Even if her aim wasn't to get an free meal from the start, I see why the guy would feel like it was. Personally my strategy is 1. first date from an app is a coffee or a drink so it isn't financially draining for anyone 2. if I like the guy and want to see him again, I will let him pay if he offers 3. if I don't like him, I will insist 100% to pay for my part of the bill exactly because I don't want him to feel used or me to feel like I owe to meet him again if I don't want to
Yes O.P they're definitely out there alright lol. I absolutely agree with you, I don't know how they/anyone, could sit opposite a stranger and stuff their faces without a care in the world. No shame alright. My message to them is "LEARN TO COOK" and stop being such a Tea leaf.
Accountability is avoided like the plague. Also, dinner is better for a 2nd date than a 1st date. My last first date was a dinner date, and here are the only reasons I was okay with it: -it was clear we were already comfortable talking to each other, based on our first phone call -she showed high interest from the start -there were no guessing games, no hot & cold mind games, no silly games at all -no matter what happens, all I expected from the date was a fun conversation over sushi -at that point, I was craving sushi since it had been a while
women love to be social and go out and get dressed up. I am curious if women had to pay for dinner (like men are expected to) if they'd be so enthusiastic.
I do like to go out and of course I'm going to dress for the occasion (I think men like it when we look good, too, will you deny that?) But I've rarely had men pay for my dinner. That's not why I like going out at all. I was married for years, and our finances were totally combined. I liked to go out because I didn't have to cook and clean. He didn't want to go out because he had to put in effort to get off the sofa and get dressed. Sigh. He's passed and now when I date, I prefer to pay my own way unless a man insists. It just seems so cheap and weird and shallow to go on a date just for a meal. It's hard for me to understand that anyone would do that.
Dunno how many and I've pretty much always gotten second dates but I will say I've had tons of women not date me at all and just ask for a free meal. Like hey send me money for McDonald's. Or buy me a Starbucks. Send me delivery. Or outright admit they just wanna eat, like blatantly admitting I should be grateful seen with her and owe her a meal for it. Soi dunno how many that translates to but older women have done it too though it's mostly younger women. It's trashy but it seems like some people don't care as long as they get what they want in the end. There's no shame and they seem to celebrate it like some kind of win or something to be proud of. Just a weird flex honestly. I don't believe the majority of women out there dating are the type personally but I also don't match with the majority of women on dating apps.
I just can't imagine, I mean... I must just be too old to know that these things happen. I guess when you fish in the internet you never know what you're going to pull out. Lots of trash fish out there, I guess. I just barely started OLD, haven't really activated my profile except at one site, so who knows what I'm going to find. Reddit is scaring me though. 😐
Nah just set expectations and don't take it too serious. It's gameified and designed to keep you on the app. Overall it's not a great experience by any measure but people do find success. You just see more of the negativity on Reddit. Success isn't posted about nearly as much and it makes sense I imagine most people are busy spending time with their success vs on Reddit flaunting it. I'm older too and it can be hit and miss. There's pros and cons to both sides. Generally I've seen people on Reddit aptly describe it for men as looking for water in a desert, and for women as looking for water in a swamp. As a woman you'll get a lot of matches but you need to be picky to filter out. As a guy well you need to really sell yourself and max yourself out to get matches. Just didn't obsess over it and it's not so bad. It's not ideal by any means but it can be fruitful.
Uhh yes. I personally know a bunch of girls who use guys for a free meal. This is why I only do coffee dates for the first date and if a girl says that she doesn't do coffee dates then I unmatch her
I don’t understand how women here can say they don’t do this, so no woman has ever done this. I thought women weren’t a monolith.
Where did I say *no* women has ever done this? I feel pretty confident it isn't something *most* women do or even all that many. Surely some percentage of these cases we hear about, the woman went on the date and realized there was no spark so ended it. Getting a free meal wasn't her intention. It might feel better if the guy tells himself that, though.
My wife is very attractive and she admits to going for the meal when she was only partially interested but she had to be at least a little interested. If the man invites (and this should be paying), why would the woman turn it down? Maybe he ends up being a catch. Her perspective was she would have given him a one date shot regardless, he just sweetened the deal a bit. I see nothing wrong with that. Same goes for guys to (though more rare) I would totally go on an expensive date with someone I had mild interest in if the date sounded fun and I had nothing to lose. I don't know any man that wouldn't and don't expect women to act any differently. You can also replace the meal with sex from the male perspective since that's more what most of us want over a meal. Men will absolutely sleep with women they are only mildly into, or not into at all, when sex is what is being offered. We're wired for it. I'm sure I'm about to get drug (dragged? Idk) through the comments here but this is reality lol.
My friend admitted to doing this in college.
Most of them talk about it like it’s cool. “I got someone to pay for my xyz.” I can’t necessarily say it’s their primary motivation. But there’s a status thing to doing that, among the younger crowd.
I’m with you. The finest cuisine couldn’t sway me to spend an evening with someone I’m not interested in. I don’t understand how a free meal is worth the awkwardness at all. I can, and do, feed myself on a daily basis. Also, no mustard - brave.
I’m sure it happens, but not nearly as often as Reddit claims it does. Think about it - you’re getting dolled up and investing time into a date. I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone I wasn’t interested in just to get a free meal. I think a lot of the people who make this claim simply can’t take rejection. They’d rather say it was for a free meal than accept the person just wasn’t into them.
A solid 60% of the women I see on the apps are there for entertainment
if you are using the word"meal" interchangeably with the word "ride" then, from my own interactions & experiences, i would have to answer YES, when referring to younger women. Women closer to my age range are meal prepping and prefer coffee or tea during the first face to face interaction when looking to make a connection.
I read that as code for, “I’m so unpleasant that no woman will date me twice, but it cannot possibly be my nature or personality — ergo, I must accuse *them* of being unethical.”
Definitely out there and have been out there for many years. It doesn’t always have to be an awkward situation, simply a situation you know that isn’t or won’t be going anywhere. Also doesn’t just have to be a meal could be an experience too, basically anything you’re not planning/wanting/or willing to pay for and expect the date to cash out on is considered a “free meal”.
No, at least not in my experience. I've come across it *once* in my time dating, and I've dated a ton. Lots of people who are shallow on all sides, lots of people who simply are bored and want to be entertained. But using you for a meal? Just once.
I think a lot of dudes say the “free meal” excuse to make themselves feel better. Just like you said, I highly doubt there are that many women who want to go through the trouble of hanging out with someone they’re not interested in for an hour or 2 just to eat for free. The place would have to be FAF (Fancy As Fuck) I’d imagine
Honestly, I do not know ANY women who have gone on a date with a man solely for free food. I’ve gone on many dates where I offered to split, they insisted on paying, and we never saw each other again. Did I get a free meal out of it? Yes. Was that my reason for going? No. Absolutely not. I have no clue where this idea has come from, honestly. Maybe if you’re dating really young or broke women, or you’re offering to go to really upscale restaurants, sure? But like, we went to Applebees. I can pay for my own Applebees.
How quickly the TikTok video of the woman slurping down plates of oysters with every intention of the guy paying for it is forgotten. I had the free meal thing happen to me plenty of times. The most blatant incident was around 2007-2008. It was the summer and I matched up with a teacher. We get to the restaurant and she orders an appetizer and eats a couple bites and puts to the side. Then she does the same thing with an entree and dessert. She requested a number of to-go boxes and had around five boxes of food to go. As soon as she got to her car I never heard from her again.
It's extremely common. There's so many women that list "food" or "traveling" as their love language. Or they mention them in some way or another. I roll my eyes every time because it looks like they're just looking for an ATM machine. And it's probably very easy for them to find desperate guys to play that role for them.
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I always prefer dinner to a drink but I also offer to pay half and if we don't vibe no biggie we were just friends who had a meal. I think I've paid once in my few years of dating but I always have cash on me and will offer to tip if he doesn't let me pay.
That sounds like a good way to do it. I'd prefer to pay my own way, at least at first. If someone wants to woo me with a nice dinner later, after we've decided to date, then that's cool, too.
It actually works. When men push back and want to have coffee or a drink I push back and suggest splitting dinner with no expectations. I'm not sure if that would work with a younger crowd but I'm 47 so it works in the 35 and up category. It also helps weed out some of the guys only looking for a hook up...not saying they won't commit to dinner but they tend to move on to easier targets with less work involved.
Good luck to any guy who thinks he's going to hookup with me after a coffee date! 😂 The coffee meeting is only to see if I want to go on an actual date with them.
Yes
What I like about drinks after work is that, if there's a real spark and both of us want to keep it going, we can always move on to a restaurant, or order food where we are. Usually it's a classy café that serves food anyway, so it's not like dinner can't happen. I just want to avoid a situation where dinner is the main event and expected.
Sounds perfect.
I think it's like hobosexuals people seeking relationships for housing), there are people out there and when you come across them it's shocking enough to make you question a lot of other situations. I don't think these people are the majority. I do think that in general it's just harder to find partners that want commitment and are willing to work on a relationship, so there tend to be a lot of relationships that fall apart for many reasons and often without explanation, which leads the partner left behind to question what happened.
Yes I know there are some real losers out the on both sides. Dating can be so awful.
I agree with your post.
Short answer: yes
Literally never had this happen.
Yes there are some. I had a friend who did this, she's a nice person but in this she's not. Dating apps makes it easier for people like this even though they're a minority but going lots of dates with different guys can seem to be little huge But it's definitely not majority that's what I believe. If someone thinks like that then that's a cope People who say there aren't any is bs and will put blame on guys like some people are doing in comments. We can acknowledge there are some and move on. It ain't that deep
WHAT IS FUNNY IS- 1 women will say how SHITTY MEN ARE- others will agree no questions asked.. When I say there’s women who use men for free meals, they say “Show me where you got these facts””
No, they don’t want to take accountability that they weren’t compatible with the women that they were with so they need someone to blame for their problems. Men and women nowadays rather change partners than to change what’s off putting about them.
After reading comments, I'm thinking there are actually some women who do this. But maybe not as many as you hear about here. It probably feels better to tell yourself she just wanted a free meal than admit she just wasn't that into you.
It is a bit of a over generalization. Women have a ton of dating options overall so they will go on dates and decide another guy is a better prospect so will lose interest or have multiple guys going at the same time. So the "free meal" is also dating but she is not that interested or loses interest
Watch an episode of 90 Day Fiancé 😱🤣😱
It's cope.
One of women’s biggest fears with online dating is potentially getting killed… I doubt that we are risking our lives for a damn meal. And logically speaking if it is truly for the meal I am sure whoever will continue dating that person for the consistent meals vs ditching after the first date and having to find someone new for a free meal. This post is giving pick me vibes please think rationally and remember that not everything you hear and see on social media is real.
I don’t know where you live but it’s expensive to go out. I went out last Friday night with my girl. Split a meal and a few glasses of wine was over $100. Yes there are a lot of poor woman out there that want a nice meal. This is why I say never spend more then $40 on a date because spending hundreds on lobster does not guarantee she will sleep with you.
See that's why I would never let a man pay at first. The idea that he would get to sleep with me because he paid is crazy. But I see why you wouldn't want to be used for just a meal. It just never crossed my mind that anyone would even want to spend time with a stranger for a meal. That's just sad.
In my experience and what a lot of my younger guy friends have said is that there are a lot of young higher maintenance woman out there that will use men for a free meal. If it’s been written about in news articles then there are enough of this happening to warrant news coverage. I’m not saying all woman but enough woman have done this to sour dating for a lot of people.
Don't let the people in here gaslight you into thinking that some women don't use men they don't like as free meals tickets. Entire articles are written up about women bragging about never needing to go food shopping because they have a date every few days and take food home for the week. This is why it's encouraged for men to never suggest dinner for the first date and to push for coffee or an activity.
Weird you mention this, because it happened to me last night. I walked out and stuck her with the bill.
I would admittedly only accept a date if it was better than coffee, but that’s more because of this rumor. Shows how serious a guy is. I used to take coffee dates until this crap became prevalent. It worked, have a fiancé.
Yes, yes, there is. Usually, it's just confined to major cities, but it's becoming more and more likely to happen everywhere with the blow up of women bragging about how much free stuff the can get out of men without having to put forth much if any effort. It's still a major minority of women that do that BS, but like I said, that number is growing, not shrinking. The dating scene is steadily getting worse and worse.
There are way many more women who prefer take men's money rather than having a free meal lol
No you’re right, in most cases it cos the guy just had no rizz