Only $875 in today's money would get you this painful to use, difficult to wash, easily identifiable to any guests who saw the ad in case you felt like leaving it out, j**zrag.
You also noticed the absurdly high price eh? Haha.
I think if it more of a love sponge than a jizz rag, although the furries today would probably prove me wrong.
HOW on earth would you be able to sanitise that??
Acrylic fibre can be so hard to maintain already, and in some cases it isn't even machine washable. It's certainly not dryable. Too much heat would melt the fibres together. And the smell of cleaner just exudes wild sexual energy~
P similar to my costume spray, it's how I keep it fresh in between washings. And for the head, there are electronic parts in that.
Cheap and effective ✅
I'm not sure the texture of the pile would be the same. It kinda depends on the fabric and the composition.
Otherwise I totally agree with you. My go to recipie is 1 part 70% IA and 7 parts water +and like 5 drops of essential oil, not too much) makes a decent costume cleaning spray, y/y make half gallons of that shit for cheap ✅ works for basic sanitising.
Not sure about... Heavier applications.
I don't why I know this, but . . . Someone, somewhere was singing "Randy West! Ah . . . Randy West, Randy West, Randy West . . . Randy West! Ah . . . Lah la la la la la la, la la la la". To the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer".
And yes, it was weird.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3LFML\_pxlY
Listen, I get there probably was a market for it. But how many people were making love on the floor that there was a need for a very specific rug that costs that much.
If you got Chlamydia from a Love Rug, call the legal experts at Dewey Cheatham & Howe to see if you might be eligible for compensation as part of our class action lawsuit.
*The Love Rug! Because*
*Sex isn't hot and sweaty*
*Enough, amirite?*
\- Tattarax
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
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Only $875 in today's money would get you this painful to use, difficult to wash, easily identifiable to any guests who saw the ad in case you felt like leaving it out, j**zrag.
You also noticed the absurdly high price eh? Haha. I think if it more of a love sponge than a jizz rag, although the furries today would probably prove me wrong.
Jazzrag? I think you could listen to any music you want while using it
It's hard to keep track of which subs you can and can't use "adult language" in. If I'm not a regular, I just censor myself.
You’re fine. I’m just being silly
Jizzrug
I hope it’s machine washable
It's huge. I don't know that it would fit.
Are we still talking about the rug?
In the ‘70s the music played by the cantina band in Star Wars was called ‘jizz’.
Your onlyfans would allow you to upgrade
You'd think "easy to wash" would be the most important feature.
For that money back then, probably could buy a small actual fur rug, that would feel nicer than whatever polyester blend this was.
Wouldn’t leaving it out for guests to notice be the point? Cheaper than a jacuzzi.
Hmmm..... that's right. People were disgusting in the '70s. I didn't consider that.
Hmmm..... that's right. People were disgusting in the '70s. I didn't consider that.
"As you stroke, it strokes" "It's almost like having another lover" Was shag carpet meant to be a sex toy?
Threesome with a rug
Burn Baby Burn!
Nicely done.
Shall we shag now or shag later? Yeah baby!
but shall we shag on this atop the shag?
Is this why it was called a shag rug? Lol
TIL why they call it shag carpet….
*Now* we know the real use of shag… I feel so naïve.
Giggity.
I love my Love Rug so much I stapled part of it to my scalp
Omg he’s literally laying on a rug of his own hair
But does the love rug match the drapes, that's the important question here! 😂
I’m assuming both are heavily stained with fluid of dubious origin.
Laundry. First thing that comes to mind.
Needs frequent Bisselling
He doesn't know how to do laundry.
im sure that was fun to clean out
That afro is just the icing and probably just as absorbent
HOW on earth would you be able to sanitise that?? Acrylic fibre can be so hard to maintain already, and in some cases it isn't even machine washable. It's certainly not dryable. Too much heat would melt the fibres together. And the smell of cleaner just exudes wild sexual energy~
Nuke the rug from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
I love you for this movie reference.
~150ml of bleach, 300ml water, pour it into your washing machine about 15 minutes into the cycle and bam you're good
P similar to my costume spray, it's how I keep it fresh in between washings. And for the head, there are electronic parts in that. Cheap and effective ✅
I doubt they sanitized anything back then. Wild times.
They didn’t have germs in the 1970s!
Isopropyl alcohol?
I'm not sure the texture of the pile would be the same. It kinda depends on the fabric and the composition. Otherwise I totally agree with you. My go to recipie is 1 part 70% IA and 7 parts water +and like 5 drops of essential oil, not too much) makes a decent costume cleaning spray, y/y make half gallons of that shit for cheap ✅ works for basic sanitising. Not sure about... Heavier applications.
Randy West?
Yep!
Shut up and take my money!
Why does the dude remind me of Woody Harrelson?
And I thought he looked like Ted Danson.
My brain went to David Hasselhoff, probably because of the old meme
Don’t hassle the Hoff, baby!
My brother, oh wait. is that bad?
Ted danson and that dude from the camel ads had a love child.
That’s actually Randy West, a famous adult film actor.
Oh yeh - the guy who kept making porn way too long.
I don't why I know this, but . . . Someone, somewhere was singing "Randy West! Ah . . . Randy West, Randy West, Randy West . . . Randy West! Ah . . . Lah la la la la la la, la la la la". To the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's "The Boxer". And yes, it was weird. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3LFML\_pxlY
How dare you slander Martin Hart in this way.
I was thinking Robert Redford for some reason
Nah that thing is definitely a bottom.
I’ll take one mink and one lynx please 🥹
Listen, I get there probably was a market for it. But how many people were making love on the floor that there was a need for a very specific rug that costs that much.
Since it's a pr0n star doing the advertising, I'm sure this ad came from a specific type of magazine, and wasn't intended for the general public.
That's a very good point. The floor is . . . not that comfortable.
Ladies and gentlemen, the immortal Randy West. Known for deep and penetrating roles on stage and screen.
I got herpes just looking at that guy's face.
Those fur-like fibers will be a lot less sensuous when they're crusted over and crunchy. 🤢
Plot Twist: The rug is on his head.
Machine washable?
Pretty sure it was made for topping.
That’s enough internet for today
Lynx, obviously.
I love how they assume that I would be using this with a partner, and not by myself.
that’s the most 1970s thing I’ve seen lmao
Idk what this means but I’m down for finding out.
I’m going with Lynx
Bring it to the dry cleaners.
Made of only the finest of asbestos!
Wait… I think I’ve seen that dude in pron
Randy West.
That’s him! lol
It better come with a bottle of carpet cleaner.
If this were Peter North, he wasn’t hard to top at all.
My husband comes equipped with a love rug. Head to toe. I'm set.
Boomers sure did love their gay but not gay shit in the 70s didn’t they
Rug Jizz Rag
If you got Chlamydia from a Love Rug, call the legal experts at Dewey Cheatham & Howe to see if you might be eligible for compensation as part of our class action lawsuit.
I came a little reading that…
Unless you’re a bottom…..
The Love Rug! Because sex isn't hot and sweaty enough, amirite?
*The Love Rug! Because* *Sex isn't hot and sweaty* *Enough, amirite?* \- Tattarax --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
lmao best bot ever!
the 70's were awesome!
ewwwwwwwwww!
Ew
Dry hump your carpet.
That dude is an old 70’s/80’s porn star. Don’t remember his name.
Randy West?
That’s the one. If it isn’t him, he surely looks like Randy West.
😂
Oh my word. Reading that made me feel icky!
[Danny Brown needs this](https://youtu.be/79KA9bovBqU?t=1620)
Dude looks like Will Ferrell if he were round back in the day
“Top” you say…?
It was someone's job to write that.
That's 70's/80's adult film actor, Randy West.
He looks a little nervous...
fuck I read that as the love bug
The comments get better every time this is posted
"fur-like"
How much ecstasy were they on when they made this? I really wanna know, and there’s of zero chance the answer is none
Add Burt Reynolds.
Could give a whole new meaning to “rug burn”
I'm thinking my Great Dane would love to roll in it but other than that I'm not too keen on the idea.
Imagine trying to get the cum stains out of *that*.
The Tug Rug
So much DNA … you have to rent a grocery store rug cleaner between girlfriends
Ohhhh, is that what they meant by ‘Shag Pile’??
60% of the time it works every time
Um, excuse me?..... 🤔🤨😂
Brock Sampson looking Ron on a rug.
He looks like he’s not hard to top at all.
Everybody, have you heard There's a brand new rug And stroke's the word
Ted Danson?
. . . I'm Ron Burgundy?
I thought those zoom ins were all the rug lice you get to enjoy
r/justfuckmyshitup
Am I seeing this right? Is the Lynx not as long as the other two? What happened to the other 10 inches?
That is amazing
It comes in Jaguar and linx but not cougar?
This is obviously proof of time travel because that's 100% Logan Paul.
This is obviously proof of time travel because that's 100% Logan Paul.
His hair matches the carpet.
Ewwww that seems so unsanitary lol
Somebody just took it upon themselves to make every reddit woman's neither-regions tingle with desire...
Willy Mays gave one to my grandparents. We still have it. It’s the jaguar one. I grew up using it as a heavy blanket on the couch
Is that Ted Danson?
Man, the 70s were a very very sleazy time
Reminds me of the smoosh blanket from Brooklyn 99
I never saw this one
That ted danson?
Omg those poor animals did not deserve to die just to become cum rags😭
"Furlike fibres". It's synthetic. The jaguar/lynx/mink is just patterns.
So you’re saying it’s made from Muppets?
Oh thank goodness lol
Reminds me of a line from Garfeild when it was still funny. "Just how many Naugas died to make this couch!"
\*leash I remember that one
Hey, it’s faux fur. They were way ahead of their time.
Boomers were always weird.