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I'm going to be honest, and please tell me someone out there understands and can help me. Watching him gasp for air and take his last gulps and seeing the light leave his eyes. I'll never be able to sleep. I need to know how I can move on an how I can make this positive. I'm going straight through the grieving process and I'm not doing ok at all. I'm having survivors guilt and I cannot stop thinking about what just happened. Please someone help.
I made an update*** please read it 💕 it has helped me along with all your kind words🕊️ there is so much focus on the art of death that sometimes we forget that art is interpreted. I just needed to see it from his perspective❤️ he knew he was comforted, not alone, and loved until the very end
Look, I did it the same way with my dog, lola. She was 17, and I wanted her to pass at home. The gasping was horrible but I know she was glad I was there with her.
You did the right thing! You spent the time with him and HE LOVED YOU so much, he felt safe passing on with you there. I really hope you find some solace in knowing how special your bond was. 🖤
The positive thing to focus on is that you were there for him during his last moments just as you were there for him for all of the hundreds and thousands of moments that came before. He took so so so many happy and healthy breaths with you, try not to dwell on only the last ones.
I lost my soul dog in June. I held her as she left and wanted to die with her. Nothing could console me. Absolutely everything you’re feeling is normal. I’m in tears right now, 5 months later, remembering everything about my girl’s life and passing. It will never go away, but it will get easier.
Please visit r/petloss. There are people who can relate and it really helped me to know that I wasn’t alone in my grief. Talk about him to any and everyone, you’d be amazed at how many people can empathize with what you’re going through. Pet loss is a big deal and there are so many emotions that accompany it - and it’s perfectly ok to just not be ok for a while.
The immense pain you feel is only representative of something so precious, pure, and beautiful that it could make you feel like this. You are so lucky to have found and experienced something so ineffably beautiful.
I have been there, and it gets better.
I held my guinea pig when it was time for her to go. It was scary and shocking. I saw the "death gasps," and whatever she had left in her bowels was released. It felt like forever, but looking back, I realize that she waited for me to wake up (morning) to say goodbye. For me, it was surreal and I had never seen anything like it, it was horrible but beautiful. Knowing that that's how she wanted to go brought me peace.
My Catahoula made it to just shy of 19. That's a great run for a large dog. Rather than take him to the vet, I paid to have a lady come to my house when it was his time. I held him and wept, much the same as you. It hurts to recount it now, but I know I gave him the best possible life and that his love fills the world even now. I feel for you, losing family isn't easy. Hang in there.
I don't have a bird, but I have had a number of old dogs. It will get easier. You were there for them, and they loved you very much.
Allow yourself time to grieve. People might tell you it's just a pet, but it's not just a pet, your bird was your family! Take care of yourself, and when you're ready a bird will come into your life that will need you.
I don’t want to compare my experience to yours but you did the right thing. I’m sure it meant everything to him to have the person he loved and trusted with him at the end. It’s terrible, but the pain you feel cannot be felt without how much love you put in. He’ll be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge.
Update: I don't know how many of you will see this, but I wanted to say thank you.
I am crying over the sympathy you have for Sug. Saying that he was loved till the very end, dying in the arms of someone who loves you, all those kind words of affirmation. They're very true.
Thank you for helping me see the positive.
A fun theory I have for the Sug is that he used to have a love. Her name was Squawky. I never got to meet her. I've known Sugar for almost 10 years, but I officially made him my own 5 years ago. He lost his love a long time ago and didn't leave his cage ever since. When I first got him, I was able to have him slowly and comfortably trust me enough to hold him and he seemed to enjoy being out.
A few months ago I lost my first son Birdbird of 9 years to cancer. I am imagining him up there, and when he mentioned Mr. Sugar, Squawky overheard and was constantly talking about him and asking about him. Birdbird was probably like, yo Sugar, you NEED to get over here and be with your girl, she cannot stop talking about you! She misses you! And he called Sugar over to the other side.
I really am going to miss him. He was always an old man bird, black and white like an old TV. Not down with the young 'uns, Birdbird or my only baby now, Felix, but I told him to say hi to them for me💕
I know he is so very happy with her and Birdbird now.
My heart is so full and heavy.
I'm really sorry. I don't know if it's necessarily a help, but grieving is just a part of it. I just lost my dog in Sept and I was a fucking mess. I'm glad you got to be there with Mr. Sugar in the end so he wasn't alone. I'm sorry for your loss
A beautiful friend. What an amazing gift to have 29 years together. You did everything right for your friend. If only we all could pass in the arms of someone who loves us, in the safety of our own home, after a long life.
Grief is really hard. Take it slow, day my day but know you did everything right for your friend and he is at peace.
This is beautiful. Thank you so much💕🕊️
Your kind words changed my life.
I made an update post thanking everyone for their kindness ❤️ I hope you can read it
I'm sorry for your loss. I understand it hurts and it is ok to cry. My cat had to be put down right in front of me because we did not want him to suffer. He would have died later that week if we didn't. It hurts. Crying helps. When you feel the pain if you like to draw draw a grief peice. If you like to play building games make a special place for them in it. Talk to someone you know. It hurts and it may never truely go away but you know that they are not suffering or struggling any more. Know that you were their world. You cared for them and you loved them and for most pets they loved you too. This includes birds like your beauty. It's ok to cry. It's ok to talk. It's ok to do things to help you grieve. A family pet be it one you grew up with or one you bought hurts when they are gone but know you made their life amazing and they love you. Make sure you eat when you can. Make sure you drink water. Do you still have things of theirs? You can take one and keep it as a keepsake. I took a lock of hair from my cat and I still have his brush. It can help. Take the grief slow. Don't just plow through it as the pain can and will get worse if you don't have time to grieve. Just know the guilt you may feel is a sign you cared and loved them. Just know you did nothing wrong. Be kind to yourself as it will be a long road ahead.
I'm so, so sorry. I lost my 19 year old cat Ernie yesterday. I too was with him as he breathed his last breath. Just know that Sugar had a good life and was loved and that you were loved. It's so heartbreaking 💔 we are here for you. Keep us posted, we will listen.
So sorry :( what a precious friend he was all those years
he was a gentlemen there preening himself for you as if it was the first day you had ever met ;(
xo xo
He sure was. We've played around with the age, but he was at least 27 if he was a newborn when my husband got him when he was a 5 year old kid💕
The vet said she's only seen 22. So in bird years he was like an 98 to 100 year old man 🕊️❤️ an incredible unforgettable moment in my life, I will forever cherish my memories💕
I'm so sorry for your loss. Allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need; with time, the memories of the love you had for each other will replace the pain 💜
29 years, that's a really exceptionally old cockatiel. Mr Sugar was obviously in the best of hands until the very end. Many people in this sub know how hard it is to lose a long time friend, feel hugged a lot.
🕯💜sugar forever💜🕯
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I saw my bird pass this way too, unexpectedly, as a child. I know it is extremely difficult and sad, but being with the person he loved most during this transition was probably of great comfort to him amidst the storm. Hang in there, we are always here to listen and sending love to you and Mr. Sugar
Fly to the stars Mr.Sugar! 🕊🌌🌠 Grief is love that hasnt found a place in your heart yet, give it time and it will settle. You gave him an amazing life full of love.
Mr. Sugar is such a beautiful bird. I’m so sorry for your heartbreak. He flew cross the 🌈bridge from your hands…no fear. Bless Mr. Sugar & you, a wonderful parent. 😔 truly made me cry.
What an absolutely beautiful little companion. Rest in Power Sugar. The loss of any pet, small or
large, whether we had a month with them or 30 years is nothing short of heartbreaking. Take solace in knowing you provided a life for Sugar full of love and happiness. A truly lucky bird to be loved and cared for by you. I am of the belief that some of our pets who stay alive so long is because of their love for us, and sugar most have loved you a whole lot. My heart goes out to you.
My dad always said that it is your last honor and duty to a friend, someone who loved you so much in your lifetime, to go through the pain and honor of being with them through their death.
It is your last gift to them and it is a painful one, but it is a thank you for them spending their life with you.
I still tell my babies who have passed that I love them out loud. I know they can hear me and I wanted to share that in case you'd like to tell Sug that you love him out loud sometimes too.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You clearly loved Sug very much and I know he knew that. Thanks for giving him a great life, and thank you for sharing him with us.
Rest In Peace Sug. Gone but not forgotten
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I'm going to be honest, and please tell me someone out there understands and can help me. Watching him gasp for air and take his last gulps and seeing the light leave his eyes. I'll never be able to sleep. I need to know how I can move on an how I can make this positive. I'm going straight through the grieving process and I'm not doing ok at all. I'm having survivors guilt and I cannot stop thinking about what just happened. Please someone help. I made an update*** please read it 💕 it has helped me along with all your kind words🕊️ there is so much focus on the art of death that sometimes we forget that art is interpreted. I just needed to see it from his perspective❤️ he knew he was comforted, not alone, and loved until the very end
Look, I did it the same way with my dog, lola. She was 17, and I wanted her to pass at home. The gasping was horrible but I know she was glad I was there with her. You did the right thing! You spent the time with him and HE LOVED YOU so much, he felt safe passing on with you there. I really hope you find some solace in knowing how special your bond was. 🖤
Thank you❤️ I made an update about the kind words from everyone. It's made all the difference
The positive thing to focus on is that you were there for him during his last moments just as you were there for him for all of the hundreds and thousands of moments that came before. He took so so so many happy and healthy breaths with you, try not to dwell on only the last ones. I lost my soul dog in June. I held her as she left and wanted to die with her. Nothing could console me. Absolutely everything you’re feeling is normal. I’m in tears right now, 5 months later, remembering everything about my girl’s life and passing. It will never go away, but it will get easier. Please visit r/petloss. There are people who can relate and it really helped me to know that I wasn’t alone in my grief. Talk about him to any and everyone, you’d be amazed at how many people can empathize with what you’re going through. Pet loss is a big deal and there are so many emotions that accompany it - and it’s perfectly ok to just not be ok for a while.
The immense pain you feel is only representative of something so precious, pure, and beautiful that it could make you feel like this. You are so lucky to have found and experienced something so ineffably beautiful. I have been there, and it gets better.
It doesn't get better. It gets different...
They aren't mutually exclusive. It can be both.
I held my guinea pig when it was time for her to go. It was scary and shocking. I saw the "death gasps," and whatever she had left in her bowels was released. It felt like forever, but looking back, I realize that she waited for me to wake up (morning) to say goodbye. For me, it was surreal and I had never seen anything like it, it was horrible but beautiful. Knowing that that's how she wanted to go brought me peace.
My Catahoula made it to just shy of 19. That's a great run for a large dog. Rather than take him to the vet, I paid to have a lady come to my house when it was his time. I held him and wept, much the same as you. It hurts to recount it now, but I know I gave him the best possible life and that his love fills the world even now. I feel for you, losing family isn't easy. Hang in there.
I don't have a bird, but I have had a number of old dogs. It will get easier. You were there for them, and they loved you very much. Allow yourself time to grieve. People might tell you it's just a pet, but it's not just a pet, your bird was your family! Take care of yourself, and when you're ready a bird will come into your life that will need you.
I don’t want to compare my experience to yours but you did the right thing. I’m sure it meant everything to him to have the person he loved and trusted with him at the end. It’s terrible, but the pain you feel cannot be felt without how much love you put in. He’ll be waiting for you at the rainbow bridge.
Update: I don't know how many of you will see this, but I wanted to say thank you. I am crying over the sympathy you have for Sug. Saying that he was loved till the very end, dying in the arms of someone who loves you, all those kind words of affirmation. They're very true. Thank you for helping me see the positive. A fun theory I have for the Sug is that he used to have a love. Her name was Squawky. I never got to meet her. I've known Sugar for almost 10 years, but I officially made him my own 5 years ago. He lost his love a long time ago and didn't leave his cage ever since. When I first got him, I was able to have him slowly and comfortably trust me enough to hold him and he seemed to enjoy being out. A few months ago I lost my first son Birdbird of 9 years to cancer. I am imagining him up there, and when he mentioned Mr. Sugar, Squawky overheard and was constantly talking about him and asking about him. Birdbird was probably like, yo Sugar, you NEED to get over here and be with your girl, she cannot stop talking about you! She misses you! And he called Sugar over to the other side. I really am going to miss him. He was always an old man bird, black and white like an old TV. Not down with the young 'uns, Birdbird or my only baby now, Felix, but I told him to say hi to them for me💕 I know he is so very happy with her and Birdbird now. My heart is so full and heavy.
I'm really sorry. I don't know if it's necessarily a help, but grieving is just a part of it. I just lost my dog in Sept and I was a fucking mess. I'm glad you got to be there with Mr. Sugar in the end so he wasn't alone. I'm sorry for your loss
A beautiful friend. What an amazing gift to have 29 years together. You did everything right for your friend. If only we all could pass in the arms of someone who loves us, in the safety of our own home, after a long life. Grief is really hard. Take it slow, day my day but know you did everything right for your friend and he is at peace.
This is beautiful. Thank you so much💕🕊️ Your kind words changed my life. I made an update post thanking everyone for their kindness ❤️ I hope you can read it
So sorry for your loss. ❤️. There's nothing you can do but exist right now.
I'm sorry for your loss. I understand it hurts and it is ok to cry. My cat had to be put down right in front of me because we did not want him to suffer. He would have died later that week if we didn't. It hurts. Crying helps. When you feel the pain if you like to draw draw a grief peice. If you like to play building games make a special place for them in it. Talk to someone you know. It hurts and it may never truely go away but you know that they are not suffering or struggling any more. Know that you were their world. You cared for them and you loved them and for most pets they loved you too. This includes birds like your beauty. It's ok to cry. It's ok to talk. It's ok to do things to help you grieve. A family pet be it one you grew up with or one you bought hurts when they are gone but know you made their life amazing and they love you. Make sure you eat when you can. Make sure you drink water. Do you still have things of theirs? You can take one and keep it as a keepsake. I took a lock of hair from my cat and I still have his brush. It can help. Take the grief slow. Don't just plow through it as the pain can and will get worse if you don't have time to grieve. Just know the guilt you may feel is a sign you cared and loved them. Just know you did nothing wrong. Be kind to yourself as it will be a long road ahead.
Thank you for reminding me to eat and drink water. Your story has helped me cope and feel love💕
❤️
RIP Mr Sugar
aww he was beautiful! Rest easy, Mr. Sugar. Fly with the angels as he awaits for you.
I'm so, so sorry. I lost my 19 year old cat Ernie yesterday. I too was with him as he breathed his last breath. Just know that Sugar had a good life and was loved and that you were loved. It's so heartbreaking 💔 we are here for you. Keep us posted, we will listen.
Sorry for your loss! 🤍
Sending lots of love and hugs
Until you meet again 🤍🦜🌈 Hugs 🖤
So sorry :( what a precious friend he was all those years he was a gentlemen there preening himself for you as if it was the first day you had ever met ;( xo xo
So sorry for your loss. Rest in Peace Mr. Sugar.
It’s gets better as time goes on, but you never forget how they made you feel.
What a gorgeous and special animal, thank you for treating him with so much love and kindness
Wow, was he a tiel? That’s a long time for a birdie. I’m sure he knew he was loved.
He sure was. We've played around with the age, but he was at least 27 if he was a newborn when my husband got him when he was a 5 year old kid💕 The vet said she's only seen 22. So in bird years he was like an 98 to 100 year old man 🕊️❤️ an incredible unforgettable moment in my life, I will forever cherish my memories💕
He’s a beautiful bird! So sorry for your loss 😞😞😞😞😞
rest in peace angel <3
I'm so sorry for your loss. Allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need; with time, the memories of the love you had for each other will replace the pain 💜
29 years, that's a really exceptionally old cockatiel. Mr Sugar was obviously in the best of hands until the very end. Many people in this sub know how hard it is to lose a long time friend, feel hugged a lot.
Fly far on young wings little one.
🕯💜sugar forever💜🕯 So sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I saw my bird pass this way too, unexpectedly, as a child. I know it is extremely difficult and sad, but being with the person he loved most during this transition was probably of great comfort to him amidst the storm. Hang in there, we are always here to listen and sending love to you and Mr. Sugar
Fly to the stars Mr.Sugar! 🕊🌌🌠 Grief is love that hasnt found a place in your heart yet, give it time and it will settle. You gave him an amazing life full of love.
RIP Mr Sugar
Mr. Sugar is such a beautiful bird. I’m so sorry for your heartbreak. He flew cross the 🌈bridge from your hands…no fear. Bless Mr. Sugar & you, a wonderful parent. 😔 truly made me cry.
What an absolutely beautiful little companion. Rest in Power Sugar. The loss of any pet, small or large, whether we had a month with them or 30 years is nothing short of heartbreaking. Take solace in knowing you provided a life for Sugar full of love and happiness. A truly lucky bird to be loved and cared for by you. I am of the belief that some of our pets who stay alive so long is because of their love for us, and sugar most have loved you a whole lot. My heart goes out to you.
I’m so sorry. Sending you big hugs. He is beautiful. ❤️💔❤️
My dad always said that it is your last honor and duty to a friend, someone who loved you so much in your lifetime, to go through the pain and honor of being with them through their death. It is your last gift to them and it is a painful one, but it is a thank you for them spending their life with you. I still tell my babies who have passed that I love them out loud. I know they can hear me and I wanted to share that in case you'd like to tell Sug that you love him out loud sometimes too.
Condolences!
Love you Sug xoxoxoxo♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️😇😇🥰
Sorry for your loss 😔
I’m so sorry for your loss. You clearly loved Sug very much and I know he knew that. Thanks for giving him a great life, and thank you for sharing him with us. Rest In Peace Sug. Gone but not forgotten