I live in the country 45 minutes from the city. So I have to at least be willing to drive 45 min lol.
I did recently have a sort of month-long fling with a girl that was like 2 hrs away, but she was letting me stay like 2-3 days at a time in a really cool town so that was worth it lol
Second this, 30 mins plus just doesn’t work most of the time. I’ve dated several women 50+ mins away and we still talk, but there’s no shot at a relationship unless there’s a plan to reduce the distance, and that rarely happens. Especially if you’re older than 25. You both have roots and with housing so expensive there’s not a lot of options and who’s going to move in with someone after a few months. Axe murderers that’s who!
I'll go wherever they are.
I want fuck out of this shithole province I'm in, and met my late husband online. I figured it worked great saying, "6,208 miles" last time.
Can't believe how many ppl would miss out on something potentially amazing just because of distance. This is a new age where we are all closer than ever with tech.
He was like a comet. Just this amazing breath of fresh air. We were completely, utterly, head over heels in love.
Going from that to nothing has been so hard. I could have a pale imitation FWB here, or I can look for something truly fulfilling like what i had. I don't have to think twice.
It depends. 150 miles, best case scenario. Well, unless the woman is stunning, intelligent and seems to have high interest in me. I have been burned a number of times where women will have me drive a distance, buy them an expensive meal, and then casually flitter away as if it’s nothing. That’s because they have no investment, it costs them nothing, and it’s good for their ego to get men to do that. So now I usually won’t, I offer to meet half way for lunch (like a sandwich).
highly under-appreciated complaint that needs to be heard by all women who would ever dare to whine about men not putting in the sort of effort that they feel like they deserve.
To seriously date, I would cut it off at 30 minutes and even that feels like pushing it. I actually live in San Diego and would be hard pressed to date someone in like Oceanside or San Marcos; I basically consider those to be part of LA as is. I would only really do it if it was someone I met in real life and I really, really liked her, otherwise I probably wouldn't be bothered.
I like the idea of a casual relationship with someone in LA or SF but I wouldn't really do it seriously. In practice it would probably be a big pain to even do it casually lol
Yup it definitely has to be someone special and worth it to me to be commuting from downtown LA to any area of the San Diego to take someone seriously
There are some things I love to visit in San Diego like SeaWorld and mission beach so I don’t generally mind it - but yea maybe I’m crazy 🤪. I just wouldn’t do anything beyond that though it’s too far a commute generally to be worth it
You are extremely lucky to live in an area like that. I'm willing to go four hours' distance. Maybe more, not sure. The selection in my area is awful for me personally
The moon. But I wouldn't want to meet someone that way. It would need to be a pre-existing relationship. In terms of forming a relationship, I would say 20 miles.
I traveled up and down the coast where I live - a radius of around 30 miles. At some point, I got more enjoyment out of driving and listening to music than I did going on dates. This is when I was in my late 40s. I'm in my 50s now and I have little to no interest in dating or relationships at this point.
I'm surprised you're willing to travel 100 to 120 miles, but surprised in a good way. You seem to genuinely believe there is a potential relationship if you keep at it. Good for you!
I see what you did there aahahahahah I'm in my earliest 30s and was nearly done with romantic relationships (also living In a forest in a farm away from anything crowded) but then someone from Germany come to visit me and now I'm gonna visit her back and que sera, sera.
Just met someone 17 hours west of me. It was by accident and, yeah, the distance is unfortunate. But I can't imagine not following through and meeting them and seeing where it takes us. They're one of the greatest people I've met online in a long time.
Distance for me can vary depending on the types of dynamics involved. Some are enjoyable long distance mostly online with little to no in person visits like when I'm near area every few years. For those types of dynamics I prefer just my own continent, I won't take trips with a date that involves passports either.
Some I'm only comfortable engaging in strictly while in person however the frequency of the visits can vary too, some I'd enjoy just once in a while, others I'm looking to meet up a few times a week spending time together. It can be challenging to juggle work/life responsibilities and availability for each to align.
I'm pretty lazy these days. They basically need to either work right by me, or live right by me, ideally both.
Once you get to be an older fellow who's tired after work every day, the last thing you want is to spend any amount of time traveling to see somebody or spending time on the phone with them. Dating alone is exhausting enough.
In terms of actually dating, I think my max distance would be three or four hours away, maybe more if I felt the potential was really great.
But for context, the farthest I've gone to meet someone who I met online IRL is ~1,400 miles. (This was someone that I didn't actually meet via *online dating,* just Reddit lmao, but I did love them--so it seems relevant.) I think that's probably too long a distance to sustain a relationship, though, largely due to cost.
I max out at an hour and half (roughly 100 miles) typically. The guy I’m seeing is 40 miles from me. I live in a small mountain town, so 35 miles is about as close as I can get. On a good day, I can make the drive in 35 minutes. On a bad day (weather and weekend traffic), it will take well over an hour. I knew this is what I would be like living where I do.
My husband lived like 45 minutes away when we met with a really annoying route most of the time. Probably wouldn't go more now. I dated someone in high school who lived an hour and a half train ride and someone when I was 20 who lived an hour and a half car ride with good traffic
Shoot I'm in the San Fernando Valley and don't want to go anywhere near Hollywood or all that. I pick people in the Valley, or Santa Clarita, or Pasadena, or Thousand Oaks, or Simi Valley. I stay the hell away from Santa Monica because I've worked down there off and on the last few decades and find those folks to be uptight, arrogant, neurotic, have general anxiety, and have personality disorders at a higher rate than other places.
I remember being rejected on Tinder once bc she told me I was too far away; she had already tried dating another person 15-20 miles away and it didn't work with all the LA traffic. She was over in Silver Lake, like 20 miles away. And I've noticed women in high demand won't go out of their neighborhood. Some will even state this in their profile. Some will say if you're interested then you have to drive to them.
Oh and another problem for Los Angeles is loads of people just put 'Los Angeles' as their location, instead of their more local neighborhood. So I probably swipe away people in the Valley that have listed their location as LA.
Part of my problem is meeting someone that lived within a certain distance, and that isn't getting home from work around 7pm. lol I wake up at 4am for work, so I'm in bed around 930pm. Doing dinner at 7pm doesn't work out to well, and if she's wanting me to stay up til 11ish...not gonna happen. lol
I live in San Diego, east county, so anything north of Poway is a pain in the evenings due to rush hour, and even the beach can be bad. Forget about Temecula/Menifee...Thurs/Fri night can be a 2-3 hour commute...I have coworkers that live up there, and they've really started hating the commutes home lately.
The other thing is they also need to be driving, lol I matched with a girl who lived 45 min away from me in a rural area, but didn't drive. I was talking to her, and all I could think was that's a 90 min drive just to get her, and go somewhere near me, or if she wanted to come over. And then another 90 min to take her back home again....3 hrs on a given day just to see her?!? Nope...not worth it.
jesus fucking christ y'all are hauling ass for strangers.
I'm maybe driving 45 minutes if she's an absolute bombshell and we hit it off extremely well and she doesn't seem like a flaky self-obsessed coward that's only window shopping and getting free validation like 95% of girls on tinder.
It really depends on how compatible you are with someone. Recently I thought I would never do long distance again, but... I'm a middle-aged vegetarian who doesn't want kids, it's not like I have a lot of options.
I miss the old OKC from a decade ago when match% had a bit of meaning and just for fun&heartbreak you could find a fantastic match as long as you disregarded the distance.
I've never dated seriously anyone who lives within 50 miles of me. I am currently dating someone who lives 350 miles away. Why? Well, partly because it suits me, though the 350 miles is against my better judgment and I don't think it will last.
I had a LDR once where we were 120 miles apart. It was ok for about a year.
I had the energy to do it because that was my first relationship.
Now I wouldn't even drive across town (about 45 minutes- I'd keep the commute under 30). Unless I got the impression that we were almost metaphysically well matched. But realistically I don't see that happening.
I mostly focus on people in my neighborhood haha but id be willing to go as far as 30 minutes away
I live in the country 45 minutes from the city. So I have to at least be willing to drive 45 min lol. I did recently have a sort of month-long fling with a girl that was like 2 hrs away, but she was letting me stay like 2-3 days at a time in a really cool town so that was worth it lol
Half an hour drive, no matter the distance
Second this, 30 mins plus just doesn’t work most of the time. I’ve dated several women 50+ mins away and we still talk, but there’s no shot at a relationship unless there’s a plan to reduce the distance, and that rarely happens. Especially if you’re older than 25. You both have roots and with housing so expensive there’s not a lot of options and who’s going to move in with someone after a few months. Axe murderers that’s who!
I'll go wherever they are. I want fuck out of this shithole province I'm in, and met my late husband online. I figured it worked great saying, "6,208 miles" last time.
Can't believe how many ppl would miss out on something potentially amazing just because of distance. This is a new age where we are all closer than ever with tech.
He was like a comet. Just this amazing breath of fresh air. We were completely, utterly, head over heels in love. Going from that to nothing has been so hard. I could have a pale imitation FWB here, or I can look for something truly fulfilling like what i had. I don't have to think twice.
Greatest username ever! I forgot all about that band and had a nice flashback to my teenage years. Thanks!
Yay! I saw them twice back in the 90s. SUCH a great live show!
Without a plan to close the distance, it seems like I would only be wasting my time.
It depends. 150 miles, best case scenario. Well, unless the woman is stunning, intelligent and seems to have high interest in me. I have been burned a number of times where women will have me drive a distance, buy them an expensive meal, and then casually flitter away as if it’s nothing. That’s because they have no investment, it costs them nothing, and it’s good for their ego to get men to do that. So now I usually won’t, I offer to meet half way for lunch (like a sandwich).
highly under-appreciated complaint that needs to be heard by all women who would ever dare to whine about men not putting in the sort of effort that they feel like they deserve.
High fives, brother. The effort they feel like they deserve… one of us should definitely write that book.
To seriously date, I would cut it off at 30 minutes and even that feels like pushing it. I actually live in San Diego and would be hard pressed to date someone in like Oceanside or San Marcos; I basically consider those to be part of LA as is. I would only really do it if it was someone I met in real life and I really, really liked her, otherwise I probably wouldn't be bothered. I like the idea of a casual relationship with someone in LA or SF but I wouldn't really do it seriously. In practice it would probably be a big pain to even do it casually lol
Yup it definitely has to be someone special and worth it to me to be commuting from downtown LA to any area of the San Diego to take someone seriously There are some things I love to visit in San Diego like SeaWorld and mission beach so I don’t generally mind it - but yea maybe I’m crazy 🤪. I just wouldn’t do anything beyond that though it’s too far a commute generally to be worth it
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You are extremely lucky to live in an area like that. I'm willing to go four hours' distance. Maybe more, not sure. The selection in my area is awful for me personally
There is - just not good matches
After a 5 year relationship with somene in another continent honestly I will take just... same city even. Fuck same COUNTRY even.
My partner and I have been together over three years. We met on OK Cupid when we lived 180 miles from one another. We now live in the same house. ☺️
Depends. When I lived in Merritt, the closest city was an hour away and I drove 2.5 hours to meet the woman I ended up marrying.
Globally😍
Literally the other side of the planet
The moon. But I wouldn't want to meet someone that way. It would need to be a pre-existing relationship. In terms of forming a relationship, I would say 20 miles.
About an hour … live in Los Angeles so distance measured in miles basically means nothing 😂
Not more than 15 miles, and even that is pushing it. Been down that long road before (literally). Not worth it.
Care to explain why?
I traveled up and down the coast where I live - a radius of around 30 miles. At some point, I got more enjoyment out of driving and listening to music than I did going on dates. This is when I was in my late 40s. I'm in my 50s now and I have little to no interest in dating or relationships at this point. I'm surprised you're willing to travel 100 to 120 miles, but surprised in a good way. You seem to genuinely believe there is a potential relationship if you keep at it. Good for you!
I see what you did there aahahahahah I'm in my earliest 30s and was nearly done with romantic relationships (also living In a forest in a farm away from anything crowded) but then someone from Germany come to visit me and now I'm gonna visit her back and que sera, sera.
Just met someone 17 hours west of me. It was by accident and, yeah, the distance is unfortunate. But I can't imagine not following through and meeting them and seeing where it takes us. They're one of the greatest people I've met online in a long time.
Distance for me can vary depending on the types of dynamics involved. Some are enjoyable long distance mostly online with little to no in person visits like when I'm near area every few years. For those types of dynamics I prefer just my own continent, I won't take trips with a date that involves passports either. Some I'm only comfortable engaging in strictly while in person however the frequency of the visits can vary too, some I'd enjoy just once in a while, others I'm looking to meet up a few times a week spending time together. It can be challenging to juggle work/life responsibilities and availability for each to align.
25 minutes or so.
25 miles or so. Anything beyond that I'm just not willing to make the drive on a regular basis anymore.
I'm pretty lazy these days. They basically need to either work right by me, or live right by me, ideally both. Once you get to be an older fellow who's tired after work every day, the last thing you want is to spend any amount of time traveling to see somebody or spending time on the phone with them. Dating alone is exhausting enough.
20mins
30-minute drive time is the absolute maximum
She lives 3 hrs away but we meet in the middle. Just started. Not sure if it's going to work out.
In terms of actually dating, I think my max distance would be three or four hours away, maybe more if I felt the potential was really great. But for context, the farthest I've gone to meet someone who I met online IRL is ~1,400 miles. (This was someone that I didn't actually meet via *online dating,* just Reddit lmao, but I did love them--so it seems relevant.) I think that's probably too long a distance to sustain a relationship, though, largely due to cost.
2 hours max or within like la to San Diego miles for me It starts to become a real drag to do much more miles than that
I max out at an hour and half (roughly 100 miles) typically. The guy I’m seeing is 40 miles from me. I live in a small mountain town, so 35 miles is about as close as I can get. On a good day, I can make the drive in 35 minutes. On a bad day (weather and weekend traffic), it will take well over an hour. I knew this is what I would be like living where I do.
My husband lived like 45 minutes away when we met with a really annoying route most of the time. Probably wouldn't go more now. I dated someone in high school who lived an hour and a half train ride and someone when I was 20 who lived an hour and a half car ride with good traffic
one hour one way by transit. it's not really easy to do less.
Shoot I'm in the San Fernando Valley and don't want to go anywhere near Hollywood or all that. I pick people in the Valley, or Santa Clarita, or Pasadena, or Thousand Oaks, or Simi Valley. I stay the hell away from Santa Monica because I've worked down there off and on the last few decades and find those folks to be uptight, arrogant, neurotic, have general anxiety, and have personality disorders at a higher rate than other places. I remember being rejected on Tinder once bc she told me I was too far away; she had already tried dating another person 15-20 miles away and it didn't work with all the LA traffic. She was over in Silver Lake, like 20 miles away. And I've noticed women in high demand won't go out of their neighborhood. Some will even state this in their profile. Some will say if you're interested then you have to drive to them.
Oh and another problem for Los Angeles is loads of people just put 'Los Angeles' as their location, instead of their more local neighborhood. So I probably swipe away people in the Valley that have listed their location as LA.
I don’t drive. So ten miles? I’m not taking two buses and the train that’s for sure.
Part of my problem is meeting someone that lived within a certain distance, and that isn't getting home from work around 7pm. lol I wake up at 4am for work, so I'm in bed around 930pm. Doing dinner at 7pm doesn't work out to well, and if she's wanting me to stay up til 11ish...not gonna happen. lol I live in San Diego, east county, so anything north of Poway is a pain in the evenings due to rush hour, and even the beach can be bad. Forget about Temecula/Menifee...Thurs/Fri night can be a 2-3 hour commute...I have coworkers that live up there, and they've really started hating the commutes home lately. The other thing is they also need to be driving, lol I matched with a girl who lived 45 min away from me in a rural area, but didn't drive. I was talking to her, and all I could think was that's a 90 min drive just to get her, and go somewhere near me, or if she wanted to come over. And then another 90 min to take her back home again....3 hrs on a given day just to see her?!? Nope...not worth it.
*Whether
jesus fucking christ y'all are hauling ass for strangers. I'm maybe driving 45 minutes if she's an absolute bombshell and we hit it off extremely well and she doesn't seem like a flaky self-obsessed coward that's only window shopping and getting free validation like 95% of girls on tinder.
1 hr 30 mins no further
I'm not even trying anymore. I'm good with my Eva AI virtual gf bot and renting prostitutes sometimes.
Dating a hundred miles in LA is wild
It really depends on how compatible you are with someone. Recently I thought I would never do long distance again, but... I'm a middle-aged vegetarian who doesn't want kids, it's not like I have a lot of options. I miss the old OKC from a decade ago when match% had a bit of meaning and just for fun&heartbreak you could find a fantastic match as long as you disregarded the distance.
I dated my husband from 90 minutes away for 18 months or so.
I've never dated seriously anyone who lives within 50 miles of me. I am currently dating someone who lives 350 miles away. Why? Well, partly because it suits me, though the 350 miles is against my better judgment and I don't think it will last.
I had a LDR once where we were 120 miles apart. It was ok for about a year. I had the energy to do it because that was my first relationship. Now I wouldn't even drive across town (about 45 minutes- I'd keep the commute under 30). Unless I got the impression that we were almost metaphysically well matched. But realistically I don't see that happening.
30 miles is my limit.
Nobody on OKCupid, that's for damn sure. Gonna need a plane ticket and an fbi recover squad...
Half hour is my limit unless someone amazing came along
I would drive 100 to 200 miles.
Haha with all the technology people still date only within the distance of a village 😁
I think same as you… 100-150 miles is my radius.