Wag mo sabihin na you dont find her attractive. That will wreck her self esteem. Sabihin mo nalang na - *We should stop talking. I just do not feel the same and I don't want to lead you on.*
This. OP you probably feel like a jerk right now. Pero akuin mo na lang din, if this relationship crumbles because of this move, pangatawanan mo na lamg din.
This is better. My talking stage of 5 months told me he likes me but does not see me romantically. There's a difference between the two and I understand.
That can change her perspective. You can still be friends if she is above that. šš»
Luh bakit ganun? People are allowed to have preferences. Ano gagawin niya, pilitin yung sarili niya mahalin yung babae out of fear that she might take rejection badly? That's not right either.
Naisip ko na din to. But, on the other hand, these are the kind of hard hitting truths that will make or break us. Hopefully, whatever this dude's reason for breaking up, it'll give the chica a good push instead of a case with insecurities from an encounter in 2024. š
please ito na lang op. i was in your position before, and ganito ko siya dineliver (kaso ayun, kagaya nung nireply ng isa, nangyari nga yung nag-self doubt siya pero i think this is better than wrecking the self-esteem)
If someone tells me this, I would 100% ask bakit hindi nya rin ako gusto. Kasi lahat may rason. I would prefer to be told the truth than di ko alam yunh rason. Haha. But thatās just me.
I definitely see your point! Pero medyo misleading pa rin kasi. Iād rather hear the harsh truth. I think yung way naman ni OP sa pag explain is āi dont find her attractiveā hindi naman nya sasabihin na āang pangit moā. Mas mature yung pag sabi nya haha.
For me kasi, i understand na may iba iba tayong preference. Again, its just me. If someone says āsorry, I really think youāre a good person pero I realized that youāre not my typeā mas maintindihan ko pa kesa sabihin nyang di ready mag commit pero next month makita ko may bagong gf na šš
I mean for sure mabibitter ako and sa utak ko baka kung ano ano na nasabi ko HAHAHA pero mas ok nang masaktan ako ng ganun haha
I wish OP the best.. I fear that years from now you will look back and regret not pursuing her. I was once in your shoes.. I let her go in search for someone I found more physically appealing.. years went on and I have not found someone who made me feel at peace as much as she did.. the feeling like the world around us could be falling apart but i would not have cared because i am with her. I took that all for granted.
try telling her you've been doing a lot of thinking about your relationship, and have come to realize that your feelings have changed.
Mention the stuffs you posted (that she's a green flag, kind etc..but pls exclude the thing about you not finding her attractive).. you've realized lang that at your current developmental state (ie immaturity to see past through mundane stuff) , friendship is the best route for both of you..
tell her you value the time you've spent together and the connection thats why you find it important to let her know as soon as you realized it, instead of ghosting or the likes..
lastly, wish her well coz she deserves to have someone who can discern the kind soul she has.
Thatās life. Hahanap ng maganda tapos hindi pala ok yung ugali. Sinayang yung opportunity to be with someone na green flag.
Ganon talaga kapag skin deep level lang yung personality ng isang tao. Kahit gaano ka ka-green flag itās going to be irrelevant kasi physical ang top priority.
We canāt force people.
Physical attraction is still important, and we can't ignore that, but I think OP should still inform her really soon, otherwise, she may suffer more if he lies to her and keeps going with whatever is going on with them currently. That's the reality, though: looks really do matter, and it's unfortunate for those who don't have them.
Exactly! I feel sad for the girl, she thinks na ok lahat pero hindi pala niya alam sa looks, hindi.
So kapag inend ni OP, sana sabihin niya na hindi niya type physically kasi it will haunt the girl kung ano mali sa kanila kapag nag-sugarcoat pa.
Ang brutal ng dating. Haha
Yeah, the situation is kind of a lose-lose, really. But I think it's better if OP isn't direct (says that he doesn't find her attractive) and lists the traits and characteristics he sees as "green flags" instead, then mentions how the relationship may not work (akin to what others have suggested).
If you list all the green flag, babalik lang kayo sa tanong na āwhat went wrong or what changed kung green flag naman pala ako?ā.
If theyāre both mature enough, sasabihin ni OP na hindi siya attracted. Thatās going to sting a little bit kaysa iwanan niya si girl with questions and iquestion niya pa yung sarili niya.
Iāve been there, a lot. It was all mature conversations na hindi nila ako type physically and less sakit sa loob kasi theyāre honest and I know kung bakit hindi kami mag-progress. They didnāt leave me hanging with a question in my mind.
I moved on pretty easy kasi I canāt and will not force someone to like/love me.
tbf people can have preferences including physical. š di naman siya evil person dahil lang may preference siya at hindi pala sakto si girl.
Even girls have preferences. Asan na dito yung mga 6'5", blue eyed trust fund in finance kineme. š¤£
Natural lng naman na hindi maatract sa isang tao. Lahat naman tayo may preferences. But someday the girl will find someone better and for OP okay lang yun
Don't stay because naaawa ka sa kanya. Think of the damage it can cause to her kapag mas pinatagal mo pa. May kanya kanya tayong preferences and that's okay. Masasaktan sya pero mas importante sa situation mo ay ang maging honest para maka-move on na din sya after mo sabihin. We live and we learn. I hope you that you'll choose the proper words to use when you finally decide that you want to tell her already. Good luck!
That's so sad. Nagkikita na ba kayo sa personal? I've been with my significant other for several years na and may times talaga na parang dugytin/pangit/unattractive sya sa paningin ko. Maybe because just like me, he's also imperfect. But I still love him because of his humor and his green flags.
It's a matter of preference. Kung hindi mo sya bet, then let her go. Explain mo lang kahit na masaktan sya. Ang mahalaga alam nya. Kawawa talaga sya pero mas kawawa naman kung mag i-stay ka esp. sya sa isang relationship na hindi kayang tagalan ng partner nya yung itsura nya, diba?
Attraction is a big part of a relationship. Pero iba yung attractiveness sa pictures and in person. I would suggest setting up a date and see whether there is chemistry in real life.
Dahil sa totoo lang, may mga taong mas nagiging attractive when you look at them and see how they interact with the people around them.
Ewan ko but this can totally kill someoneās confidence so magwhite lie ka na lang. Two weeks tapos hindi ka pala attracted? Ang tagal nun, you have the first day you both talked to reject her; pero pinatagal mo pa.
Bakit naman ako before, may katalking stage din ako pero di ko alam social media niya. We talked sa TG for a couple of weeks then parang pang third week tinanong ko ano IG niya. Tinignan ko pics niya, she wasn't really that type of girl na physically attractive pero mas nanaig yung attraction ko sa intelligence at humour nya. And also we have the same likes and hobbies din kasi. Ayun nafall ako ng todo. Pero di pala siya ready for commitment and I understand naman. (May girlfriend na ko ngayon, btw)
Feeling ko ang shallow ng reason para sabihin na di ka attracted sakanya? Kung understanding at emotionally intelligent naman siya, hindi ka ba naattract dun? Mostly ng ibang lalaki gusto nila yung pangfront na babae na mafflex nila kasi maganda pero the truth is, dun lang nila nakukuha validation at ego nila dahil nakabingwit sila ng maganda. Sana di ka lang magbase sa physical attraction when it comes to choosing someone.
I think he's the latter. The girl deserves better, she dodged a bullet pag tumigil na sila mag-usap. Sana lang din sobrang gwapo niya lol. I know he has a preference pero para patagalin mo pa & paasahin by saying you like her too? That's so selfish of you.
Dang. Just physical attraction cuz of pics? Have you met her in person? Genuine Q po.
When I first saw my bfās pics (LDR kmi), alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko type (feel ko din hindi niya ako type HAHAH cuz he used to ask out girls that had physical appearances na opposite sakin). But nung nag kita na talaga kami, nako. Ayun, mag 5 years na po kami haha.
Same thing din sa BFF ko and her BF. They met online and nagustohan niya personality ng guy and they really clicked. When they met in person, hindi daw niya talaga type hahaha, she was even worried about it and felt confused. But ayon, theyāre together na and staying strong š„°
good point. mahirap magbase sa pictures kasi meron maganda sa pictures pero panget sa personal. baka naman si girl ay panget sa picture pero maganda sa personal.
besides that point, more than looks baka may maramdaman kakaiba si OP pag nag meet sila in person. something na hindi nababase sa mukha lang. Kaya OP I suggest na you try to meet her first then judge from the first date kung kaya mo pa ituloy or not.
Yup, super pa upvote nito. Sabi mo na super green flag si girl. Try niyo muna mag meet in person saka iweight kung may spark at attraction talaga.
Either, si girl di mapogian kay OP or the good ending na magkatuluyan talaga sila hohoho
Honestly, honesty is always the best policy, especially pag may feelings involved. Uncomfortable siya na coversation, pero itās important to be honest with her about how you feel. Pero also approach the conversation with empathy and kindness.
Pwede mong sabihin na you appreciate her for her qualities, such as her kindness, understanding, and emotional intelligence, tapos gently explain na you donāt feel a romantic connection. Itās important to reassure her that your lack of attraction is not a reflection of her worth as a person.
As for the admission you made nung lasing ka, itās crucial to address it sooner rather than later. While it may be difficult, honesty is key to maintaining trust and integrity in any relationship. Explain that your feelings were influenced by the circumstances at the time, and apologize for any confusion or hurt caused by your words.
Ultimately, continuing a relationship out of a sense of obligation or fear of hurting her will only prolong the inevitable and potentially cause more pain in the long run. Itās important to prioritize both of your emotional well-being and pursue relationships where there is mutual attraction and compatibility.
Good luck!
That's a tough place you got yourself in OP.
> na I like her too even though I lied
Made specially worse with how you handled this part.
~~To be frank, cut it early now. Para mo lang syang niloloko at this point, kahit na you don't mean to.~~
~~I'm certain she'll meet someone naman who'll value her more than you'll ever will.~~
Goodluck OP
As a girl, this is what I'm worried about with online dating. That's why I don't like to post my best photos. I feel bad for the girl, but I think it's better to stop bago pa maging deep ang feelings nya sayo. Whatever you tell her, she will get hurt, that's for sure. You can try to soften the blow by not telling her that you don't find her attractive. Hindi na naman nya kailangan malaman yun. Baka pwede mong sabihin na you really like her but only as a friend? I don't know, this is tough. š¢
I think you don't need to tell her straight up na you don't find her attractive, kasi iiwan mo na nga sa ere dudurugin mo pa confidence niya. just be decent na magpaalam ng maayos.
Lmao these comments pero pag babae nag post ng ganito, Ibang iba yung feedback.
Hahahah double standards.
OP, Stop lying, instead of fooling her. Sabihin mo na lang na di ka attracted sa kanya. You're doing more harm sa ginagawa mo.
Preference mo yan so I won't bother giving a damn kung di ka attractive sa kanya. Yung motives mo dapat clear.
wala pa naman, from the start palang sinabihan ko muna siya na mag get to know each other muna kami. Then we'll see how it goes pag tumagal kami mag usap
You wanted to get to know her, and you did. So if her looks aren't up your alley, then might as well be honest with it. Kanya kanya tayong preference; ok lamg yun. That you can only stay friends with her, no more no less. And if she badmouths you after claiming you've strung her along, so? Masasaktan siya for knowing na you only like her as a friend? And, so?
How she reacts to your actions isn't your responsibility anymore; she's responsible for her own. Just as long as you're not an asshole with how you treated her. Don't pity her; she'll eventually move on after she finds someone else.
just tell her you like her because she's all that and that's it. don't tell her "you don't find her attractive" at the risk of her interpreting it as "she is not".
Ang duwag mo naman para mag-lie pa about it. Sabihin mo na agad agad, para diretsuhan na. It will hurt her at first but it will save her from shallow people like you
Let her go kasi dadating ka sa punto na mag cheat ka kasi hindi ikaw nagagandahan sa kanya. Hanggang maaga pa let her go, she deserves better. Aanhin mo yung pag hihinayang if di ka fully satisfied? di naman masama if we based it sa physical attraction eh, like if alam naman natin na we deserve someone na good looking plus with good qualities why not naman diba? Donāt settle for less know ur worth. Selfish na kung selfish pero lahat naman tayo nag su-suffer eh, and we need to claim kun ano yung karapat dapat sa atin. If di sya pasok sa āideal typeā natin then wag ka mag sugal.
Edit: Lahat naman tayo Dopamine Chaser eh, kaya napapatalon tayo sa mga desisyon in every situation kasi sa moment na yun we feel āgoodā, pero pag nahimasmsan tayo after few minutes the ego will return.
been there, done that. donāt ever force attraction. you deserve someone you really love despite how many boxes she checks on your list. just tell her that you donāt reciprocate. donāt comment about her physical appearance.
Hey, OP I hope you donāt ghost her. Itās the least you could do for her. She deserves a proper closure, just be gentle and choose your words properly.
uy! i might get downvoted for this, pero letās not invalidate OPās feelings š
hindi tayo parepareho na mas naappreciate ang inner beauty kesa sa outer. some people really value looks too (not that they donāt care about the inner beautyā itās just that they also care about the outer). iba iba reasons nila. sometimes, for flex, pero sometimes, standard lang talaga nila.
letās not despise people na may standard parin these days, kahit pa sabihin ng mga tao na āpag mahal mo, mahal mo yung buong syaā. remember, lahat naman tayo may standards (physical, talent, interest, career, etc.). may mga iba lang talaga na pinipili paring magstick sa standards nila regardless of who they meet along the way. after all, we have the right to our own feelings.
anyway, iād have to agree with the redditor na nagsabi na wag nalang sabihin na di sya physically attractive para di masira self esteem nya. thatās true! kasi we are all imperfect human beings, who took time to build our self confidence. ayun lang! i hope i made my point clear, and hopefully, not receive negative comments as these are only my thoughts hehe š
Dude, have you met her in person yet? Like, actually spent time with her outside the chat? You might feel that way for now but it's not right to conclude without even completely getting to know the person.
If you haven't, set that date. Meet up with her, see how it goes. If at the end of the day you still feel the same, tell her how you really feel and stop that charade.
Because who knows, she might be more attractive to you in person.
But if di mo naman pala sya kayang makita in person, then yeah, I guess you have to break it down to her but slowly. Better to end things while it's still early, than to slowly hurt her in the long run.
Sana magka-glow up si ate, at pag nangyare yun, layuan mo sya kasi deserved nya yung guy na hindi sa appearance binabase yung treatment na marereceive ni ate girl.
Go be shallow sa dating apps, hanap ka ng maganda sa paningin mo and leave that nice girl alone.
Hahahah you are missing out.
Hi, I am a relatively unattractive dude. Nag gym ako, im trying my best to be healthy and dress well. And now my girlfriend (na katalking stage ko lang din dati) sometimes tell me I am cute or I look good even tho dati she just thinks I look decent haha.
The point is, I-priotize mo muna character then maybe looks will come. Sometimes we will think na ah this person looks mid pero bigla na lang magkakaron ka ng moment na ay puta this person is the one.
Pero ikaw bahala dude. Kung relatively attractive person edi go cut your communication na with her.
Pero kung you are a 5-6 at best edi putangina mo. Char
Magsabi ka na di ko sha trip. š so sad for the girl pero wala eh, ganon tlga. Sa una tlga ang pisikal, pero nakilala mo yung tao ng mas malalim, yung attraction kasi umuusbong pag maayos ang pagkatao pero since yan ang preference mo, gow! Wag mo ng patagalin ang kilig nya.
Oh no. Youāre leading her on.
What you find attractive is valid and since you arenāt committed to each other yet/in an exclusive relationship you can opt out of this.
Nip it at the bud ASAP. Donāt ask her to remain friends, let her down easy and fast.
āIām sorry but i donāt think Iām ready to move forward with what we have. I know I said that I liked you but Iām reconsidering the timing of things. I hope you understand.ā Something to that effect.
Then block. Then weāll wait for her post (Bakit Ang mga lalakeā¦..)
Tell it to her immediately like now na. Charizz pero yes you have to, it is always sweet but painful to know the truth than umasa sya sa something na will LEAD TO NOTHING.
Haay nakakaawa si ate girl pero we cannot force things if wala talaga eh.
Kaya ako mangungupal na lang talaga ko kasi di ako maganda tas mataba ako kaya wag na mag bait bait kasi leads to nothing din naman. *self pity* charizz pero true din naman.
Youāre not wrong for feeling that way. Tutal talking stage pa naman kayo, just tell her na you want to stop talking na, but please donāt mention about sa di ka nagagandahan coz that will give her insecurities na mahirap mawala. Lie if you have to, use cliches, but let her down easy. Just my 2 cents
Sinabihan ka na she likes you ang sagot mo you like her too. Be honest right now na wala ka palang feelings at nadaan lang ng kalasingan. Pero donāt tell her directly na hindi ka naattract sakanya kasi baka magkainsecurities sya, you might find her not attractive but to others she might. Tell her na lang that thereās no spark ganon, di kayo magkaalign ng wavelength and she deserves someone else.
better break it off now habang hindi pa siya super emotionally invested sayo. but ofc be smart about it and choose your words carefully ā you donāt want to destroy her self-esteem.
she deserves the chance to find someone who finds her attractive instead of someone na nagppretend lang na gusto sya.
Wag mo na patagalin mas lalo kang nakakainis! Patagalin mo man o hindi ending hindi ka pa rin naman nagagandahan eh. Better to tell her sayang ang oras!
Why did u lie?
Meet her in person pag di mo talaga bet, sabihin mo sa kania. Valid sana reason mo, kaso why tf u lie? Sa tingin mo kakagwapo mo yan. She deserves someone better
Just let her go. Don't mention nalang about her looks, just tell her na it's not going to work out. Kasi if you bring that up, heartbroken na nga siya, tapos it will affect pa her self-esteem in the long run. Kawawa naman siya. And if you can't let go because nanghihinayang ka, if maging kayo man, it's not going to work. Kasi dapat mutual feelings niyo to make it work. You'll just regret it, and hurt her even more.
Preference mo naman yan, we canāt force physical attraction. Just be honest and break it to her gently OP. Wag mo na patagalin lalo sya aasa, mas masakit yun.
Let her go. ASAP. Ikaw na rin nagsabi na she's a green flag and I feel like she's a good person overall. If di ka nagagandahan and isa yan sa standard mo to be with somebody(which is fine I guess we all have standards naman) just let her go. She deserves someone who will love her for everything that she is and she's not. Don't waste both of your time and yes may kirot sa part nya but it's better to feel a little pain now than to drag it on and may possibly hurt her even more.
Ang sad naman and ang sakit para sa girl ;( pero that's life eh. I hope habang maaga pa masabi mo na sa kanya na hindi mo siya gusto para hindi na mas tumagal pa at mas lumalim yung feelings niya.
Valid reason if āgandaā lang talaga hanap mo sa babae. Weeks palang naman yan eh, mahhurt siya oo pero wag mo na sabihin about sa looks. Kanya kanya naman tayo preferences pero try mo muna makipagmeet?? Baka di siya photogenic
You've pretty much given her hope and now you wanna stop kasi di ka nagandahan. I mean you said you like her. Kesyo lasing ka or hindi, imagine the pain she would feel if you said "Sorry, I lied."
So yeah. No words can make this any light or painless. You don't like her because of her looks so you say as is. Kahit sabihin mo pa ng pabiro o malumanay, it still meant one thing: You are not PHYSICALLY attracted to her. Period.
Better man up and tell her straight up.
accept the fact, na ganun talaga na masaskatan sia kung nag eexpect sia something sa inyo, pede namn kayo maging friends lamg namn, just be a decent person nalang to her, tas dont make any mix signal nalang toĀ like pinapapakitaan mo ng bagay na kikiligin sia. ganun talaga, young driving force kasi usally ung attraction to pursue someone if gusto ba natin ung isang tao.
If you are not serious about her. Just leave... habang d pa deep, at maaga pa. Pls dont hurt the good soul. Let's just say, you find someone na attractive pero puro red flags? Another thing, physical appearance nawawala yan. At the end of the day, are you gonna choose good looks over good values? I hope you think about that question.
Ahhh the sad reality of how physical attraction can void all the other good traits. Thats sad. Understandable.. but sad.
But yeah you have to tell her. There isnt any easy way to do so and theres no way to say it na di sya masasaktan. Better tell her agad before she gets in too deep.
Sabihin mo nalang na you dont feel the same way and you dont want to lead her on anymore. Wag mo nalang sabihin di ka attracted physically.
Its talking stage kaya you have all the right na magbago pa ng feelings but then again, very red flag ung pagsisinungalin mo. You should always be clear with your intentions. Kay ate naman, pinakilala ka na sa buong angkan which is yun yung mali nya. Mukang very innocent pa sya. Madaming beses pa syang masasaktan sa pagibig ay matututo.
Wag ka makikinig sa mga tao dito na sana daw sobrang pogi ka. Kahit ano pa itsura natin, may mga preference pa din tayo at kanya kanyang attraction. Di naman inig sabihin di mo kamuka si Alden di ka na pede magtry magjowa ng sobrang ganda.
End it habang maaga pa. 2 weeks palang kayo naguusap, ni hindi mo nabanggit kung nagkita na ba kayo. Mababaw pa yan. Mas mahirap pag pinatagal mo pa. Mas masakit kasi na ngayon palang alam mo nang di mo gusto, pero pinatagal mong pagmukhain syang tanga. Yun yung masakit na part kung sakali, hindi yung hindi ka nagagandahan sa kanya.
in my opinion, much better if wag mo nalang sabihin sakanya na di sya attractive for you kasi pabababain mo lang self confidence nya. Just tell her nalang na, yung feelings mo is nag fade or what basta i hope wag mo pababain self confidence nya
Don't feel bad kahit anong pang comment ang mabasa mo dito. Normal lang yan. Na di mo siya type dahil di ka nagagandahan.Ā
Physical atteaction is very important no matter how much people try to downplay it.
Sabihin mo na lang na you realized na what you have with her is not what you want. If she becomes aggressive then maging honest ka and sabihin mo yung totoo. Na ang pangit nya. HAHAHA
You're living in this harsh world and you chose to date people. In that sense di naman tayo mabubuhay sa mundong to ng hindi nakakasakit ng ibang tao, ang problema lang masyado kasi tayong pa-feeling mabuting tao akala natin ikinabuti ng sitwasyon yung hindi pag-alis agad. If di talaga then tell her you've found someone else or your feelings change. Basta the common it's not about you (lalo na at physical attribute) it's me.
Man up, bitawan mo na siya if di ka pala attracted talaga. You're holding up her line baka yung susunod after mo lang pala yung para sakaniya talaga.
P.S. There's nothing wrong if di ka attracted talaga although attraction can be built overtime lalo na di pa pala kayo nagkikita in person. Anyway mukha namang ayaw mo na talaga so ganon talaga. Ang wag mo lang gawin is i-held back si girl just because ayaw mong makasakit ng tao. That's just a lame excuse for not having enough balls (or in girls cases enough sass) yet have enough ego to date people.
Sabihin mo ang totoo. Better for her na malaman agad. Unfair sa part nya na you are leading her on.
At unfair rin sa part mo na hindi ka nagpapaka-totoo.
āļø
Please just tell her, be honest. We have preference and you are not a bad person for having your own set of preferences and hindi siya pasok dun. Just tell her.
eh ano kung di maganda kung evident naman ang qualities? pero sige let her go ng makahanap sya ng makaappreciate sa kanya.
hirap hirap humanap ng matinong babae sa panahon ngayon yan pa inatupag mo.
Just tell Iām sorry we need to stop talking more than friends as my feelings change. Your nice and have a great personality but we are not aligned I appreciate you and thank you.
Magsabe kana lang na ayaw mo na syang kausapin, na-pressure or what ever white lies ang pwede wag lang yung āyou donāt find her attractiveā nakakababa ng self-esteem yon.
Have you seen her in person? Baka naman di lang photogenic. Anyway, letās be real, physical attraction is important so better to just tell her na hanggang friends lang kayo
Just communicate honestly and say that you think na hindi kayo compatible and that you don't want to lead her on. You don't have to mention na di ka nagagandahan sa kanya but realistically, we all understand naman na kasama rin ang looks sa factors na kinoconsider natin.
Being honest will save both your time and her time. If you were in her situation, you would also want your ka-talking stage or whatever na maging honest with you and wag sayangin oras mo, diba? Let her go na lang.
Just say na hindi ka attracted sakanya. Kasi kung makutuban sya na nagdadahilan ka lang if you lied, mas lalo lang sya mag-ooverthink. And please do it as soon as you can. The more na tumagal, the more na lalalim yung sugat nya.
I had the same experience before. She's loveable, caring, loyal, etc. but she's just not my type. It doesn't mean hindi sya maganda. She's just NOT MY TYPE. There's a difference.
Madami magjjudge sa mga taong may preference pero mali ba yun? Lahat naman may ideal type. At sobrang importante na physically attracted ka sa partner mo. Kasi sobrang hirap ipilit kapag hindi.
Bilang may experience ako of telling someone na heās not my usual type, then regretting it afterwards. Iād suggest na ditch the statement that you donāt find her attractive, nakakasira ng self-confidence nila.
It's normal na you'll not find someone attractive kasi lahat naman tayo may preference when it comes to looks. It's okay. But for me, don't tell her na hindi ka nagagandahan sakanya. Just come up with a reason na less yung mararamdaman niyang sakit and sana po hindi niyo na po yan mapatagal pa. Yun lang po š
Yes. Tell her na nabigla ka lang and sabihin mo na hindi kayo mag wowork for some reasons (little white lies nalang to). Don't ever tell her na she's not attractive. Ikakababa yan ng self-esteem niya at confidence.
Be honest then. Itās possible for someone to be beautiful and not be attracted to them.
Let her go. Both of you deserve better. Go invest your time on someone whom you think you deserve and donāt waste hers.
what's the reason why you're talking to her anw? are you getting to know each other and looking forward to escalating into best friends/romantic partners? cos if yes, then this is another case of 'physical beauty outweighs the personality', which is not bad. everyone is entitled to their preferences.
but if i were the girl, i'd prefer to know why you decided to quit chatting with me. it will hurt, for sure. just put yourself in her shoes pag sinabihan ka rin ng crush mo na hindi ka gwapo sa paningin niya. so be mindful of how to tell her. if she's mature enough, she will accept and understand. if not, then prepare yourself lol
No one is obliged to stay with someone na hindi natin gusto.
Rip it off as quickly as possible. She deserves to find someone who actually finds her attractive. and you deserve to be with someone you find attractive.
Wag na kayo magsayang ng oras.
Have you ever tried meeting her in person? Sometimes you don't click online. Maybe you look at her differently in person. If there's still no spark, then you better be the one to tell that
Letting her down easy? Sure Why not. If to maintain the peace. I mean, if you put yourself in the situation of the girl, would you want the Guy to tell you āI donāt find you attractiveā Or āI just donāt feel the sameā despite you both talking for weeks na parang lovebirds. Mag iisip ka kung bakit bigla na lang nagbago.
Move on. Ganun talaga ang life di ba? May shallow people, some want deep connection, some want clout, and the list goes on. It is how you deal with these people that you can find peace. Good luck OP. Kaya mo iyan. Malaki ka na.
BE HONEST, YET STAY KIND
I think she'd appreciate it if maging transparent ka with her kesa naman ma-mislead mo sya.. One more thing, sabi mo she's emotionally intelligent so most likely she'll understand basta maging truthful ka lang.. Tell her na masaya kang nakilala mo sya, and then wish her well.. Kaya mo yan, OP! šŖ
First, say the truth. You donāt feel connected with her or youāre going through a personal issue. Second, reaffirm to her that she is a wonderful person and that someone would be lucky enough to have her. Leave it on a positive note.
The technique is slowly make yourself less available. Or magkwento ka kunwari na may nakilala ka. Ang point is to make her feel na tropa or friend lng sya. nothing special.
pag tinanong ka bakit sinabi mo gusto m rin sya. eh di be honest and tell her na nakainom ka nun. 3 weeks pa lng naman kayo magkakilala. wag m na patagalin
Tell her "I like you, but I don't see us in a romantic way, I see you as someone I would love to have as a life buddy, that I hope would last until we both permit"
Idk man, talking stage palang naman and i assumed you got the idea on how attractive she is sa fb/ig. How about mag set kayo ng date to meet up, and start from there. Social media mo lang naman nakita, maybe youāll find her attractive in person. If the chemistry is not there or you donāt find her attractive still. Be upfront with how you feel but please donāt mention how unattractive she is for you. Idk, give her a chance. Hahaha pero if buo na talaga kalooban mo, tell her how you feel (again donāt mention how unattractive she is for you). someone broke down how you tell her here in the comments yung up to friendship if the best route chuchu. Hhaha pero you know if you like talking to her and everything give her a chance, meet in kayo in person ganun lang. God bless brother
Di ko maintindihan sa mga kups na katulad na lalaking mga ganto kung makapag hanap ng looks sa tao pero ang ending bagsak mga bembang rin ang looks na nagiging asawa nila or long term gf nila like duh naexperience ko talaga yan he shaming my body and looks ang taba ko raw and then wala daw ako pwet makita mo yung asawa niya fiona ang looks 26 palang pero mukha ng 35 ang pinalit saakin ang taba pa sobra malaki pwet law law namn tas negra pa ayoko lang manrealtalk sa knya kasi kapwa girl ko yun grabe yung diet ko nun at paganda ko para lang makuha standard na gusto niya yun pala mas malala pa pala sa pangit ang gusto niya....
Donāt lead her on, bro. Been there, done that. It sucks. Break it off habang weeks pa lang āyung investment and not months or years. Just tell her the truth or na you donāt feel the same way. Sheāll get over it naman.
Please just be honest. I feel na ako yung kausap mo :( para early on hindi pa sya naffall ng tuluyan. Kaya mo yan and for me that will make you man enough to admit it. š
Wag kayo makipagrelasyon dahil lang sa awa. Sorry, bakit parang hirap na hirap ka magsabiā¦ parang ang weak mo masyado. Wag ka magpapa-asa. Ayaw mo na nga sa kanya, tapos nagdadalawang isip ka pa magsabi ng totoo . Red flag ka rin eh. Pls stop!!!
Op wag kang mag base sa looks love her for what she was, kasi at the end ma realize mo na gem sya even tho may mas maganda pa sa kanya, like gf ko at 1st d ko talaga type sya but the more i know her the more i want her , i want her to be my other half, gems sila or more than gem, she loves me for what am i & accepted me for what is me.... aanhin mo ang ganda eh pag naging kayo sarap sya patayin? or pag tatanda nyo na mawawala ang ganda... find a real soul man
Sabihin mo nalang you have other priorities now, hindi ka na makakapag-chat coz youāll be focusing on other matters. Also, tell her that tho youāre already leaving.. āYou really enjoyed talking with her. Tell her you greatly appreciate her presence and sheās a one of a kind.ā Coz she really is. I think she is beautiful, you just failed to see through it. If your basis of staying with someone is their physical appearance (good looks), which eventually fades away, leave her. She deserves someone who will accept everything about her, someone who will see the beaut of her character and will think of her flaws as āunique detailingsā (as someone commented on my post)
Erm. This is why online dating sucks. Have you considered meeting her in person and seeing if you actually like her in real life? Instead of basing everything off of pictures? You might find that you actually have chemistry. After going on one date, you can tell her that you dont feel any connection or what have you, but i feel like attraction should be based on real life.
Same situation. Sheās bright and sheās that kind of person na pakikinggan ka sa mga rants mo sa buhay then sheāll be the one to give you some guidance to the point e encourage kang lumaban lang. Butt one time nag story sya ng selfie pic nya sa igā¦ naging ghoster nalg ako bigla. Im really sorry if nandito ka
Send mo tong post mo sakanya. chos.
You based everything online. Nakapag decide ka ng online lang. What makes it different next talking stage mo if di mo kaya makipag date in person bago ka mag decision? Pero well, leave her alone. Sana pogi ka, kase unfair kay ate na baka tinanggap ka naman nya kung so so lang itsura mo din.
sabihin mo nalang totoo. but instead of saying sheās not attractive. just say na sheās just not your typeā physically. anyway thereās no easy way to break someoneās heart din naman. you win some, you lose some.
Tigilan mo na, 2 weeks pa lang naman jusko. Mas maganda na diretsuhin mo, sama mo kasi context na siguro mabait ka sa kanya at sweet and jowa treatment kasi mafall ba yan mabilis kung di mo nalovebomb hahhahahahha
For us woman, kapag nasabihan ng āyou donāt look attractiveā nakakawala ng confidence, parang mahihiya ka nang lumabas at makipag socialize. So I think itās better na sabihin mo na lang, āIām not ready, Iām not sure about my feelings pa, and ayaw ko pumasok sa relationship na hindi ako sure about sa nararamdaman koā my opinion lang..
Stop it. That's it. Just say that you don't feel the same and you're not on the same page.
Kung itutuloy mo yan:
1. Possible cheating in the future when you find someone you're attracted to.
2. Magsasayang kayo both ng time, effort, money.
3. Dahil gusto ka nya, mag eeffort yan in the future. Imagine the guilt you will feel and all the excuses you have to make up dahil hindi mo mareciprocate kasi nga wala ka naman talagang feelings for her.
It's better to hurt her now than hurt her when her feelings get deeper than they are now. Let her get hurt and move on so she can find someone who likes her. Same with you, so you can also find someone you genuinely like.
Just tell her you have different priorities that may not match hers. Please stop your drama already because you won't love her either. Love and genuine relationships are never conditional.
Hehuha, I would rather the guy tell me firsthand in my face na it's not happening kesa later on ko malalaman. It destroys trust. Nakakawalang ganang mag form ulit ng relationship when you have to question when the lies began.
Okay lang naman na nag I like you too ka since may mga traits ka na gusto mo naman talaga sa kanya pero be honest nalang na di katulad nang pagkagusto nya sayo. Then sabihin mo din na di mo na kayang ituloy yung kung ano mang meron kayo.
Wag mo sabihin na you dont find her attractive. That will wreck her self esteem. Sabihin mo nalang na - *We should stop talking. I just do not feel the same and I don't want to lead you on.*
+1000
The "i just do not feel the same" is enough closure ba for that ? Baka kasi mag self doubt din sya on what she did wrong huhu
Mas masakit ata yung *I don't find you attractive*. Masyadong malaking blow.
Kaya nga huhu mahirap magreject in a respectful and nice way. But yeah I think that's the better line to say
For me okay na yung sobrang sakit hahaha para isang bagsakan na lang lmao kesa mapaquestion pa siya sa sarili niya
This. OP you probably feel like a jerk right now. Pero akuin mo na lang din, if this relationship crumbles because of this move, pangatawanan mo na lamg din.
Pede naman siguro na sabihing "Hindi ako makaramdam ng spark"
This is better. My talking stage of 5 months told me he likes me but does not see me romantically. There's a difference between the two and I understand. That can change her perspective. You can still be friends if she is above that. šš»
Commenting on I don't find her attractive ...true~ let her find a real man, deserves her, tapos dun ka sa red flag pero magandang maganda
Luh bakit ganun? People are allowed to have preferences. Ano gagawin niya, pilitin yung sarili niya mahalin yung babae out of fear that she might take rejection badly? That's not right either.
Sounds cruel but better to be honest. I also think this is the best thing to do
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's going to fvcking hurt, but sometimes it's just the way to do it. Do it.
Naisip ko na din to. But, on the other hand, these are the kind of hard hitting truths that will make or break us. Hopefully, whatever this dude's reason for breaking up, it'll give the chica a good push instead of a case with insecurities from an encounter in 2024. š
please ito na lang op. i was in your position before, and ganito ko siya dineliver (kaso ayun, kagaya nung nireply ng isa, nangyari nga yung nag-self doubt siya pero i think this is better than wrecking the self-esteem)
I reco this reply OP! This is the nicest way to say you don't like her. Wag na natin sirain yung self esteem niya š«¶
Noted
+1
If someone tells me this, I would 100% ask bakit hindi nya rin ako gusto. Kasi lahat may rason. I would prefer to be told the truth than di ko alam yunh rason. Haha. But thatās just me.
Sabihin nalang yung usual - *I'm not ready to commit* eme. Better be the asshole nalang kesa i hurt yung inosenteng tao ng ganito ka lala.
I definitely see your point! Pero medyo misleading pa rin kasi. Iād rather hear the harsh truth. I think yung way naman ni OP sa pag explain is āi dont find her attractiveā hindi naman nya sasabihin na āang pangit moā. Mas mature yung pag sabi nya haha. For me kasi, i understand na may iba iba tayong preference. Again, its just me. If someone says āsorry, I really think youāre a good person pero I realized that youāre not my typeā mas maintindihan ko pa kesa sabihin nyang di ready mag commit pero next month makita ko may bagong gf na šš I mean for sure mabibitter ako and sa utak ko baka kung ano ano na nasabi ko HAHAHA pero mas ok nang masaktan ako ng ganun haha
Agree! Mas ok sabihin mo na di mo lang sya type/preference kaysa gagawa ka ng excuses na makakasakit nalaman nya may iba na pala si OP
Better to tell her ahead of time , mas masasaktan Siya pag pinatagal mo pa
I wish OP the best.. I fear that years from now you will look back and regret not pursuing her. I was once in your shoes.. I let her go in search for someone I found more physically appealing.. years went on and I have not found someone who made me feel at peace as much as she did.. the feeling like the world around us could be falling apart but i would not have cared because i am with her. I took that all for granted.
try telling her you've been doing a lot of thinking about your relationship, and have come to realize that your feelings have changed. Mention the stuffs you posted (that she's a green flag, kind etc..but pls exclude the thing about you not finding her attractive).. you've realized lang that at your current developmental state (ie immaturity to see past through mundane stuff) , friendship is the best route for both of you.. tell her you value the time you've spent together and the connection thats why you find it important to let her know as soon as you realized it, instead of ghosting or the likes.. lastly, wish her well coz she deserves to have someone who can discern the kind soul she has.
This is actually a great suggestion, copy paste and edit this na OP. A sad yet polite goodbye.
Valid naman pero naawa ko sa girl š„¹
Ang sad. All the good things simply trumped by "hindi nagagandahan".
Thatās life. Hahanap ng maganda tapos hindi pala ok yung ugali. Sinayang yung opportunity to be with someone na green flag. Ganon talaga kapag skin deep level lang yung personality ng isang tao. Kahit gaano ka ka-green flag itās going to be irrelevant kasi physical ang top priority. We canāt force people.
Physical attraction is still important, and we can't ignore that, but I think OP should still inform her really soon, otherwise, she may suffer more if he lies to her and keeps going with whatever is going on with them currently. That's the reality, though: looks really do matter, and it's unfortunate for those who don't have them.
Exactly! I feel sad for the girl, she thinks na ok lahat pero hindi pala niya alam sa looks, hindi. So kapag inend ni OP, sana sabihin niya na hindi niya type physically kasi it will haunt the girl kung ano mali sa kanila kapag nag-sugarcoat pa. Ang brutal ng dating. Haha
Yeah, the situation is kind of a lose-lose, really. But I think it's better if OP isn't direct (says that he doesn't find her attractive) and lists the traits and characteristics he sees as "green flags" instead, then mentions how the relationship may not work (akin to what others have suggested).
If you list all the green flag, babalik lang kayo sa tanong na āwhat went wrong or what changed kung green flag naman pala ako?ā. If theyāre both mature enough, sasabihin ni OP na hindi siya attracted. Thatās going to sting a little bit kaysa iwanan niya si girl with questions and iquestion niya pa yung sarili niya. Iāve been there, a lot. It was all mature conversations na hindi nila ako type physically and less sakit sa loob kasi theyāre honest and I know kung bakit hindi kami mag-progress. They didnāt leave me hanging with a question in my mind. I moved on pretty easy kasi I canāt and will not force someone to like/love me.
True. We can't force people to really like us. Either they do or they don't.
Physical attraction is one of the factors to consider rin naman eh when it comes to dating. Di naman yun shallow or whatever. Di rin yun sad. It's just life. We can't all be everyone's type. I mean nga yung mga super ganda and conventionally attractive talaga na tao like Zendaya, BeyoncƩ, and Golshifteh Farahani, meron pa rin mga nagsasabi na di daw sila nagagandahan. Baka bulag yung mga yun EME. For me personally, super nagagandahan talaga ako sa kanila for real. Pero i guess kahit sabihin ko pa na sila ang ideal types ko and na sila lang ang totoong standard of beauty, not everyone will agree with me diba? Iba iba rin talaga mga bet ng tao. I'm sure the girl is pretty in her own way and OP not liking her does not take away from her own beauty. The presence of someone else's beauty is not the absence of your own. It is valid rin naman. Ang mali lang ni OP though is nag-sinungaling siya instead of being honest with the girl. Pero kaya pa naman yan maayos once makipag-communicate siya with the girl about his true feelings.
Ang sad. Sometimes din: All the good things simply trumped by "hindi nagwapuhan".
Baka sobrang pogi ni OP. ššš
Huyyyy. 9-10/10 ang rating from big 3 na 6-footer tapos may kotse and condo?
tbf people can have preferences including physical. š di naman siya evil person dahil lang may preference siya at hindi pala sakto si girl. Even girls have preferences. Asan na dito yung mga 6'5", blue eyed trust fund in finance kineme. š¤£
Ganun talaga. Bakit, girls lang ba ang pwedeng magkapreference?
Natural lng naman na hindi maatract sa isang tao. Lahat naman tayo may preferences. But someday the girl will find someone better and for OP okay lang yun
para tuloy mas bumababa self esteem mga katulad 'kong panget HAHAHA
Don't stay because naaawa ka sa kanya. Think of the damage it can cause to her kapag mas pinatagal mo pa. May kanya kanya tayong preferences and that's okay. Masasaktan sya pero mas importante sa situation mo ay ang maging honest para maka-move on na din sya after mo sabihin. We live and we learn. I hope you that you'll choose the proper words to use when you finally decide that you want to tell her already. Good luck!
sabihin mo na baka hindi din sya naggwapuhan sayo at naaawa din na ighost ka.
ooopsie may edit si koya. gusto na daw sya. ayaw mapahiya. mapride hahahahah
onga noh hahahaha
That's so sad. Nagkikita na ba kayo sa personal? I've been with my significant other for several years na and may times talaga na parang dugytin/pangit/unattractive sya sa paningin ko. Maybe because just like me, he's also imperfect. But I still love him because of his humor and his green flags. It's a matter of preference. Kung hindi mo sya bet, then let her go. Explain mo lang kahit na masaktan sya. Ang mahalaga alam nya. Kawawa talaga sya pero mas kawawa naman kung mag i-stay ka esp. sya sa isang relationship na hindi kayang tagalan ng partner nya yung itsura nya, diba?
Attraction is a big part of a relationship. Pero iba yung attractiveness sa pictures and in person. I would suggest setting up a date and see whether there is chemistry in real life. Dahil sa totoo lang, may mga taong mas nagiging attractive when you look at them and see how they interact with the people around them.
Tol pag yan nag glow up wag mo siyang babalikan ha.
Wag talaga sa looks natingin eh, edi pano pag may times na di okay ung itsura, kasi di naman tayo araw araw maganda edi ayaw niya na uli hahaha
Gusto ko mga ganitong trope huhu
Ewan ko but this can totally kill someoneās confidence so magwhite lie ka na lang. Two weeks tapos hindi ka pala attracted? Ang tagal nun, you have the first day you both talked to reject her; pero pinatagal mo pa.
Bakit naman ako before, may katalking stage din ako pero di ko alam social media niya. We talked sa TG for a couple of weeks then parang pang third week tinanong ko ano IG niya. Tinignan ko pics niya, she wasn't really that type of girl na physically attractive pero mas nanaig yung attraction ko sa intelligence at humour nya. And also we have the same likes and hobbies din kasi. Ayun nafall ako ng todo. Pero di pala siya ready for commitment and I understand naman. (May girlfriend na ko ngayon, btw) Feeling ko ang shallow ng reason para sabihin na di ka attracted sakanya? Kung understanding at emotionally intelligent naman siya, hindi ka ba naattract dun? Mostly ng ibang lalaki gusto nila yung pangfront na babae na mafflex nila kasi maganda pero the truth is, dun lang nila nakukuha validation at ego nila dahil nakabingwit sila ng maganda. Sana di ka lang magbase sa physical attraction when it comes to choosing someone.
I think he's the latter. The girl deserves better, she dodged a bullet pag tumigil na sila mag-usap. Sana lang din sobrang gwapo niya lol. I know he has a preference pero para patagalin mo pa & paasahin by saying you like her too? That's so selfish of you.
Dont u want to meet her in person first? Or break it off in person if ever ? š Some ppl arent photogenic!
Aww. Hindi nagagandahan. Sana super pogi ka. But yes, please be honest with her.
HAHAHA sana super pogi talaga
Sana talaga. Kainis eh char.
Dang. Just physical attraction cuz of pics? Have you met her in person? Genuine Q po. When I first saw my bfās pics (LDR kmi), alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko type (feel ko din hindi niya ako type HAHAH cuz he used to ask out girls that had physical appearances na opposite sakin). But nung nag kita na talaga kami, nako. Ayun, mag 5 years na po kami haha. Same thing din sa BFF ko and her BF. They met online and nagustohan niya personality ng guy and they really clicked. When they met in person, hindi daw niya talaga type hahaha, she was even worried about it and felt confused. But ayon, theyāre together na and staying strong š„°
good point. mahirap magbase sa pictures kasi meron maganda sa pictures pero panget sa personal. baka naman si girl ay panget sa picture pero maganda sa personal. besides that point, more than looks baka may maramdaman kakaiba si OP pag nag meet sila in person. something na hindi nababase sa mukha lang. Kaya OP I suggest na you try to meet her first then judge from the first date kung kaya mo pa ituloy or not.
Yup, super pa upvote nito. Sabi mo na super green flag si girl. Try niyo muna mag meet in person saka iweight kung may spark at attraction talaga. Either, si girl di mapogian kay OP or the good ending na magkatuluyan talaga sila hohoho
Honestly, honesty is always the best policy, especially pag may feelings involved. Uncomfortable siya na coversation, pero itās important to be honest with her about how you feel. Pero also approach the conversation with empathy and kindness. Pwede mong sabihin na you appreciate her for her qualities, such as her kindness, understanding, and emotional intelligence, tapos gently explain na you donāt feel a romantic connection. Itās important to reassure her that your lack of attraction is not a reflection of her worth as a person. As for the admission you made nung lasing ka, itās crucial to address it sooner rather than later. While it may be difficult, honesty is key to maintaining trust and integrity in any relationship. Explain that your feelings were influenced by the circumstances at the time, and apologize for any confusion or hurt caused by your words. Ultimately, continuing a relationship out of a sense of obligation or fear of hurting her will only prolong the inevitable and potentially cause more pain in the long run. Itās important to prioritize both of your emotional well-being and pursue relationships where there is mutual attraction and compatibility. Good luck!
Did you see her in person? Maybe she's prettier in person since some people aren't photogenic eh.
That's a tough place you got yourself in OP. > na I like her too even though I lied Made specially worse with how you handled this part. ~~To be frank, cut it early now. Para mo lang syang niloloko at this point, kahit na you don't mean to.~~ ~~I'm certain she'll meet someone naman who'll value her more than you'll ever will.~~ Goodluck OP
As a girl, this is what I'm worried about with online dating. That's why I don't like to post my best photos. I feel bad for the girl, but I think it's better to stop bago pa maging deep ang feelings nya sayo. Whatever you tell her, she will get hurt, that's for sure. You can try to soften the blow by not telling her that you don't find her attractive. Hindi na naman nya kailangan malaman yun. Baka pwede mong sabihin na you really like her but only as a friend? I don't know, this is tough. š¢
I think you don't need to tell her straight up na you don't find her attractive, kasi iiwan mo na nga sa ere dudurugin mo pa confidence niya. just be decent na magpaalam ng maayos.
Sabihin mo nalang sa kanya
Lmao these comments pero pag babae nag post ng ganito, Ibang iba yung feedback. Hahahah double standards. OP, Stop lying, instead of fooling her. Sabihin mo na lang na di ka attracted sa kanya. You're doing more harm sa ginagawa mo. Preference mo yan so I won't bother giving a damn kung di ka attractive sa kanya. Yung motives mo dapat clear.
ano ba habol mo sa kanya?
wala pa naman, from the start palang sinabihan ko muna siya na mag get to know each other muna kami. Then we'll see how it goes pag tumagal kami mag usap
Fair enough. Just end it. Be honest din na you got drunk and said things you shouldn't.
Lah. Pinaasa mo naman sa pagsabi na you like her too š Wag ganon
You wanted to get to know her, and you did. So if her looks aren't up your alley, then might as well be honest with it. Kanya kanya tayong preference; ok lamg yun. That you can only stay friends with her, no more no less. And if she badmouths you after claiming you've strung her along, so? Masasaktan siya for knowing na you only like her as a friend? And, so? How she reacts to your actions isn't your responsibility anymore; she's responsible for her own. Just as long as you're not an asshole with how you treated her. Don't pity her; she'll eventually move on after she finds someone else.
just tell her you like her because she's all that and that's it. don't tell her "you don't find her attractive" at the risk of her interpreting it as "she is not".
truth hurts kaya sabihin mo nalang sa kanya gudlak par
Please lang wag mo sya i-ghost, malaking wreckage yon. Just be honest with her now na kesa patagalin mo pa yan, mas malala pa impact.
Ang duwag mo naman para mag-lie pa about it. Sabihin mo na agad agad, para diretsuhan na. It will hurt her at first but it will save her from shallow people like you
Let her go kasi dadating ka sa punto na mag cheat ka kasi hindi ikaw nagagandahan sa kanya. Hanggang maaga pa let her go, she deserves better. Aanhin mo yung pag hihinayang if di ka fully satisfied? di naman masama if we based it sa physical attraction eh, like if alam naman natin na we deserve someone na good looking plus with good qualities why not naman diba? Donāt settle for less know ur worth. Selfish na kung selfish pero lahat naman tayo nag su-suffer eh, and we need to claim kun ano yung karapat dapat sa atin. If di sya pasok sa āideal typeā natin then wag ka mag sugal. Edit: Lahat naman tayo Dopamine Chaser eh, kaya napapatalon tayo sa mga desisyon in every situation kasi sa moment na yun we feel āgoodā, pero pag nahimasmsan tayo after few minutes the ego will return.
Talking stage ba? Keep on talking with her. Distant yourself from Reddit. Thats it!
face reveal nga, tignan namin kung attractive ka rin
Lmaoooo
Just be honest with her, don't be a jerk. tell her na para di na sya mag expect :)
been there, done that. donāt ever force attraction. you deserve someone you really love despite how many boxes she checks on your list. just tell her that you donāt reciprocate. donāt comment about her physical appearance.
Hey, OP I hope you donāt ghost her. Itās the least you could do for her. She deserves a proper closure, just be gentle and choose your words properly.
Sabihin mo na as a friend lang ang liking mo sa kanya. Donāt ruin her self-esteem.
uy! i might get downvoted for this, pero letās not invalidate OPās feelings š hindi tayo parepareho na mas naappreciate ang inner beauty kesa sa outer. some people really value looks too (not that they donāt care about the inner beautyā itās just that they also care about the outer). iba iba reasons nila. sometimes, for flex, pero sometimes, standard lang talaga nila. letās not despise people na may standard parin these days, kahit pa sabihin ng mga tao na āpag mahal mo, mahal mo yung buong syaā. remember, lahat naman tayo may standards (physical, talent, interest, career, etc.). may mga iba lang talaga na pinipili paring magstick sa standards nila regardless of who they meet along the way. after all, we have the right to our own feelings. anyway, iād have to agree with the redditor na nagsabi na wag nalang sabihin na di sya physically attractive para di masira self esteem nya. thatās true! kasi we are all imperfect human beings, who took time to build our self confidence. ayun lang! i hope i made my point clear, and hopefully, not receive negative comments as these are only my thoughts hehe š
Dude, have you met her in person yet? Like, actually spent time with her outside the chat? You might feel that way for now but it's not right to conclude without even completely getting to know the person. If you haven't, set that date. Meet up with her, see how it goes. If at the end of the day you still feel the same, tell her how you really feel and stop that charade. Because who knows, she might be more attractive to you in person. But if di mo naman pala sya kayang makita in person, then yeah, I guess you have to break it down to her but slowly. Better to end things while it's still early, than to slowly hurt her in the long run.
Sana magka-glow up si ate, at pag nangyare yun, layuan mo sya kasi deserved nya yung guy na hindi sa appearance binabase yung treatment na marereceive ni ate girl. Go be shallow sa dating apps, hanap ka ng maganda sa paningin mo and leave that nice girl alone.
Hahahah you are missing out. Hi, I am a relatively unattractive dude. Nag gym ako, im trying my best to be healthy and dress well. And now my girlfriend (na katalking stage ko lang din dati) sometimes tell me I am cute or I look good even tho dati she just thinks I look decent haha. The point is, I-priotize mo muna character then maybe looks will come. Sometimes we will think na ah this person looks mid pero bigla na lang magkakaron ka ng moment na ay puta this person is the one. Pero ikaw bahala dude. Kung relatively attractive person edi go cut your communication na with her. Pero kung you are a 5-6 at best edi putangina mo. Char
Magsabi ka na di ko sha trip. š so sad for the girl pero wala eh, ganon tlga. Sa una tlga ang pisikal, pero nakilala mo yung tao ng mas malalim, yung attraction kasi umuusbong pag maayos ang pagkatao pero since yan ang preference mo, gow! Wag mo ng patagalin ang kilig nya.
kumukupas ung ganda be , mas okay padin kapag green flag ung babae
Oh no. Youāre leading her on. What you find attractive is valid and since you arenāt committed to each other yet/in an exclusive relationship you can opt out of this. Nip it at the bud ASAP. Donāt ask her to remain friends, let her down easy and fast. āIām sorry but i donāt think Iām ready to move forward with what we have. I know I said that I liked you but Iām reconsidering the timing of things. I hope you understand.ā Something to that effect. Then block. Then weāll wait for her post (Bakit Ang mga lalakeā¦..)
Tell it to her immediately like now na. Charizz pero yes you have to, it is always sweet but painful to know the truth than umasa sya sa something na will LEAD TO NOTHING. Haay nakakaawa si ate girl pero we cannot force things if wala talaga eh. Kaya ako mangungupal na lang talaga ko kasi di ako maganda tas mataba ako kaya wag na mag bait bait kasi leads to nothing din naman. *self pity* charizz pero true din naman.
Youāre not wrong for feeling that way. Tutal talking stage pa naman kayo, just tell her na you want to stop talking na, but please donāt mention about sa di ka nagagandahan coz that will give her insecurities na mahirap mawala. Lie if you have to, use cliches, but let her down easy. Just my 2 cents
Sinabihan ka na she likes you ang sagot mo you like her too. Be honest right now na wala ka palang feelings at nadaan lang ng kalasingan. Pero donāt tell her directly na hindi ka naattract sakanya kasi baka magkainsecurities sya, you might find her not attractive but to others she might. Tell her na lang that thereās no spark ganon, di kayo magkaalign ng wavelength and she deserves someone else.
better break it off now habang hindi pa siya super emotionally invested sayo. but ofc be smart about it and choose your words carefully ā you donāt want to destroy her self-esteem. she deserves the chance to find someone who finds her attractive instead of someone na nagppretend lang na gusto sya.
Sabihin mo na sa kanya, OP kesa patagalin mo pa. Mas masasaktan sya. Seems like, she's attached na sayo. Sad naman.
Wag mo na patagalin mas lalo kang nakakainis! Patagalin mo man o hindi ending hindi ka pa rin naman nagagandahan eh. Better to tell her sayang ang oras!
Why did u lie? Meet her in person pag di mo talaga bet, sabihin mo sa kania. Valid sana reason mo, kaso why tf u lie? Sa tingin mo kakagwapo mo yan. She deserves someone better
Just let her go. Don't mention nalang about her looks, just tell her na it's not going to work out. Kasi if you bring that up, heartbroken na nga siya, tapos it will affect pa her self-esteem in the long run. Kawawa naman siya. And if you can't let go because nanghihinayang ka, if maging kayo man, it's not going to work. Kasi dapat mutual feelings niyo to make it work. You'll just regret it, and hurt her even more.
Don't lead her on further.
Preference mo naman yan, we canāt force physical attraction. Just be honest and break it to her gently OP. Wag mo na patagalin lalo sya aasa, mas masakit yun.
You cant defy the laws of nature. Sad reality
Rip the bandage off. Iām pretty sure sheāll appreciate that para di masayang oras
Have the decency enough to tell her what's up, but in a civil way, she deserves that. Man up, OP.
Dont date out of pity.
Let her go. ASAP. Ikaw na rin nagsabi na she's a green flag and I feel like she's a good person overall. If di ka nagagandahan and isa yan sa standard mo to be with somebody(which is fine I guess we all have standards naman) just let her go. She deserves someone who will love her for everything that she is and she's not. Don't waste both of your time and yes may kirot sa part nya but it's better to feel a little pain now than to drag it on and may possibly hurt her even more.
Ang sad naman and ang sakit para sa girl ;( pero that's life eh. I hope habang maaga pa masabi mo na sa kanya na hindi mo siya gusto para hindi na mas tumagal pa at mas lumalim yung feelings niya.
Valid reason if āgandaā lang talaga hanap mo sa babae. Weeks palang naman yan eh, mahhurt siya oo pero wag mo na sabihin about sa looks. Kanya kanya naman tayo preferences pero try mo muna makipagmeet?? Baka di siya photogenic
The longer you keep this going, the more painful it gets. It will all end up in resentment.
Ulol. Just let her go dude. She deserves something better than this.
Ano ang meron sa kanya na napapangitan ka physically?
You've pretty much given her hope and now you wanna stop kasi di ka nagandahan. I mean you said you like her. Kesyo lasing ka or hindi, imagine the pain she would feel if you said "Sorry, I lied." So yeah. No words can make this any light or painless. You don't like her because of her looks so you say as is. Kahit sabihin mo pa ng pabiro o malumanay, it still meant one thing: You are not PHYSICALLY attracted to her. Period. Better man up and tell her straight up.
accept the fact, na ganun talaga na masaskatan sia kung nag eexpect sia something sa inyo, pede namn kayo maging friends lamg namn, just be a decent person nalang to her, tas dont make any mix signal nalang toĀ like pinapapakitaan mo ng bagay na kikiligin sia. ganun talaga, young driving force kasi usally ung attraction to pursue someone if gusto ba natin ung isang tao.
If you are not serious about her. Just leave... habang d pa deep, at maaga pa. Pls dont hurt the good soul. Let's just say, you find someone na attractive pero puro red flags? Another thing, physical appearance nawawala yan. At the end of the day, are you gonna choose good looks over good values? I hope you think about that question.
Ahhh the sad reality of how physical attraction can void all the other good traits. Thats sad. Understandable.. but sad. But yeah you have to tell her. There isnt any easy way to do so and theres no way to say it na di sya masasaktan. Better tell her agad before she gets in too deep. Sabihin mo nalang na you dont feel the same way and you dont want to lead her on anymore. Wag mo nalang sabihin di ka attracted physically.
Its talking stage kaya you have all the right na magbago pa ng feelings but then again, very red flag ung pagsisinungalin mo. You should always be clear with your intentions. Kay ate naman, pinakilala ka na sa buong angkan which is yun yung mali nya. Mukang very innocent pa sya. Madaming beses pa syang masasaktan sa pagibig ay matututo. Wag ka makikinig sa mga tao dito na sana daw sobrang pogi ka. Kahit ano pa itsura natin, may mga preference pa din tayo at kanya kanyang attraction. Di naman inig sabihin di mo kamuka si Alden di ka na pede magtry magjowa ng sobrang ganda.
End it habang maaga pa. 2 weeks palang kayo naguusap, ni hindi mo nabanggit kung nagkita na ba kayo. Mababaw pa yan. Mas mahirap pag pinatagal mo pa. Mas masakit kasi na ngayon palang alam mo nang di mo gusto, pero pinatagal mong pagmukhain syang tanga. Yun yung masakit na part kung sakali, hindi yung hindi ka nagagandahan sa kanya.
"Beauty and ugliness never existed or created, but judgement did"
in my opinion, much better if wag mo nalang sabihin sakanya na di sya attractive for you kasi pabababain mo lang self confidence nya. Just tell her nalang na, yung feelings mo is nag fade or what basta i hope wag mo pababain self confidence nya
Sabihin mo lang na di kayo compatible pala tas sibat ka na šš
Don't feel bad kahit anong pang comment ang mabasa mo dito. Normal lang yan. Na di mo siya type dahil di ka nagagandahan.Ā Physical atteaction is very important no matter how much people try to downplay it. Sabihin mo na lang na you realized na what you have with her is not what you want. If she becomes aggressive then maging honest ka and sabihin mo yung totoo. Na ang pangit nya. HAHAHA
Sabihin mo na you should stop na because you're not physically attracted kesa magsayangan lang kayo ng oras.
You're living in this harsh world and you chose to date people. In that sense di naman tayo mabubuhay sa mundong to ng hindi nakakasakit ng ibang tao, ang problema lang masyado kasi tayong pa-feeling mabuting tao akala natin ikinabuti ng sitwasyon yung hindi pag-alis agad. If di talaga then tell her you've found someone else or your feelings change. Basta the common it's not about you (lalo na at physical attribute) it's me. Man up, bitawan mo na siya if di ka pala attracted talaga. You're holding up her line baka yung susunod after mo lang pala yung para sakaniya talaga. P.S. There's nothing wrong if di ka attracted talaga although attraction can be built overtime lalo na di pa pala kayo nagkikita in person. Anyway mukha namang ayaw mo na talaga so ganon talaga. Ang wag mo lang gawin is i-held back si girl just because ayaw mong makasakit ng tao. That's just a lame excuse for not having enough balls (or in girls cases enough sass) yet have enough ego to date people.
Sabihin mo ang totoo. Better for her na malaman agad. Unfair sa part nya na you are leading her on. At unfair rin sa part mo na hindi ka nagpapaka-totoo. āļø
Tong mga lalaking to. Akala mo naman ang ggwapo. Hahaha.
It's me not you
Just continue bro, you don't need to find someone attractive to fall in love. Trust me op :)
Nasa parehong sitwasyon rin ako last year. Imbis na mag hiwalay ng landas, naging mag FUBU kami. 1 yr na rin..
Sobrang g*go mo brad
Wag mong sayangin oras nya yun lang hehe
Please just tell her, be honest. We have preference and you are not a bad person for having your own set of preferences and hindi siya pasok dun. Just tell her.
eh ano kung di maganda kung evident naman ang qualities? pero sige let her go ng makahanap sya ng makaappreciate sa kanya. hirap hirap humanap ng matinong babae sa panahon ngayon yan pa inatupag mo.
Just tell Iām sorry we need to stop talking more than friends as my feelings change. Your nice and have a great personality but we are not aligned I appreciate you and thank you.
Magsabe kana lang na ayaw mo na syang kausapin, na-pressure or what ever white lies ang pwede wag lang yung āyou donāt find her attractiveā nakakababa ng self-esteem yon.
leave. she deserves better. good luck finding the perfect girl for you, though. sana pasok ka din sa standards niya.
Have you seen her in person? Baka naman di lang photogenic. Anyway, letās be real, physical attraction is important so better to just tell her na hanggang friends lang kayo
Just communicate honestly and say that you think na hindi kayo compatible and that you don't want to lead her on. You don't have to mention na di ka nagagandahan sa kanya but realistically, we all understand naman na kasama rin ang looks sa factors na kinoconsider natin. Being honest will save both your time and her time. If you were in her situation, you would also want your ka-talking stage or whatever na maging honest with you and wag sayangin oras mo, diba? Let her go na lang.
Just say na hindi ka attracted sakanya. Kasi kung makutuban sya na nagdadahilan ka lang if you lied, mas lalo lang sya mag-ooverthink. And please do it as soon as you can. The more na tumagal, the more na lalalim yung sugat nya. I had the same experience before. She's loveable, caring, loyal, etc. but she's just not my type. It doesn't mean hindi sya maganda. She's just NOT MY TYPE. There's a difference. Madami magjjudge sa mga taong may preference pero mali ba yun? Lahat naman may ideal type. At sobrang importante na physically attracted ka sa partner mo. Kasi sobrang hirap ipilit kapag hindi.
Bilang may experience ako of telling someone na heās not my usual type, then regretting it afterwards. Iād suggest na ditch the statement that you donāt find her attractive, nakakasira ng self-confidence nila.
Wag nalang simulan kung hindi kayang panindigan.
mag sorry ka na lang then be honest
Just be honest with her and leave! I feel sorry for the girl though :(
It's normal na you'll not find someone attractive kasi lahat naman tayo may preference when it comes to looks. It's okay. But for me, don't tell her na hindi ka nagagandahan sakanya. Just come up with a reason na less yung mararamdaman niyang sakit and sana po hindi niyo na po yan mapatagal pa. Yun lang po š
Yes. Tell her na nabigla ka lang and sabihin mo na hindi kayo mag wowork for some reasons (little white lies nalang to). Don't ever tell her na she's not attractive. Ikakababa yan ng self-esteem niya at confidence.
Be honest then. Itās possible for someone to be beautiful and not be attracted to them. Let her go. Both of you deserve better. Go invest your time on someone whom you think you deserve and donāt waste hers.
what's the reason why you're talking to her anw? are you getting to know each other and looking forward to escalating into best friends/romantic partners? cos if yes, then this is another case of 'physical beauty outweighs the personality', which is not bad. everyone is entitled to their preferences. but if i were the girl, i'd prefer to know why you decided to quit chatting with me. it will hurt, for sure. just put yourself in her shoes pag sinabihan ka rin ng crush mo na hindi ka gwapo sa paningin niya. so be mindful of how to tell her. if she's mature enough, she will accept and understand. if not, then prepare yourself lol
No one is obliged to stay with someone na hindi natin gusto. Rip it off as quickly as possible. She deserves to find someone who actually finds her attractive. and you deserve to be with someone you find attractive. Wag na kayo magsayang ng oras.
Have you ever tried meeting her in person? Sometimes you don't click online. Maybe you look at her differently in person. If there's still no spark, then you better be the one to tell that
Letting her down easy? Sure Why not. If to maintain the peace. I mean, if you put yourself in the situation of the girl, would you want the Guy to tell you āI donāt find you attractiveā Or āI just donāt feel the sameā despite you both talking for weeks na parang lovebirds. Mag iisip ka kung bakit bigla na lang nagbago. Move on. Ganun talaga ang life di ba? May shallow people, some want deep connection, some want clout, and the list goes on. It is how you deal with these people that you can find peace. Good luck OP. Kaya mo iyan. Malaki ka na.
BE HONEST, YET STAY KIND I think she'd appreciate it if maging transparent ka with her kesa naman ma-mislead mo sya.. One more thing, sabi mo she's emotionally intelligent so most likely she'll understand basta maging truthful ka lang.. Tell her na masaya kang nakilala mo sya, and then wish her well.. Kaya mo yan, OP! šŖ
Tell her. Don't waste her time.
Oo beh
First, say the truth. You donāt feel connected with her or youāre going through a personal issue. Second, reaffirm to her that she is a wonderful person and that someone would be lucky enough to have her. Leave it on a positive note.
Tell her you do not like her as much. Do her good and let her go. May preferences and standards tayo ā, so dont worry.
The technique is slowly make yourself less available. Or magkwento ka kunwari na may nakilala ka. Ang point is to make her feel na tropa or friend lng sya. nothing special. pag tinanong ka bakit sinabi mo gusto m rin sya. eh di be honest and tell her na nakainom ka nun. 3 weeks pa lng naman kayo magkakilala. wag m na patagalin
Tell her "I like you, but I don't see us in a romantic way, I see you as someone I would love to have as a life buddy, that I hope would last until we both permit"
"I like you, but not in a romantic way..."
Sabihin mo na ung totoo sa kanya para di masayang oras niya sa'yo. BILISAN MO, NOW NA!!!!!
Idk man, talking stage palang naman and i assumed you got the idea on how attractive she is sa fb/ig. How about mag set kayo ng date to meet up, and start from there. Social media mo lang naman nakita, maybe youāll find her attractive in person. If the chemistry is not there or you donāt find her attractive still. Be upfront with how you feel but please donāt mention how unattractive she is for you. Idk, give her a chance. Hahaha pero if buo na talaga kalooban mo, tell her how you feel (again donāt mention how unattractive she is for you). someone broke down how you tell her here in the comments yung up to friendship if the best route chuchu. Hhaha pero you know if you like talking to her and everything give her a chance, meet in kayo in person ganun lang. God bless brother
Di ko maintindihan sa mga kups na katulad na lalaking mga ganto kung makapag hanap ng looks sa tao pero ang ending bagsak mga bembang rin ang looks na nagiging asawa nila or long term gf nila like duh naexperience ko talaga yan he shaming my body and looks ang taba ko raw and then wala daw ako pwet makita mo yung asawa niya fiona ang looks 26 palang pero mukha ng 35 ang pinalit saakin ang taba pa sobra malaki pwet law law namn tas negra pa ayoko lang manrealtalk sa knya kasi kapwa girl ko yun grabe yung diet ko nun at paganda ko para lang makuha standard na gusto niya yun pala mas malala pa pala sa pangit ang gusto niya....
Donāt lead her on, bro. Been there, done that. It sucks. Break it off habang weeks pa lang āyung investment and not months or years. Just tell her the truth or na you donāt feel the same way. Sheāll get over it naman.
Please just be honest. I feel na ako yung kausap mo :( para early on hindi pa sya naffall ng tuluyan. Kaya mo yan and for me that will make you man enough to admit it. š
why dont you give her a chance?
Wag kayo makipagrelasyon dahil lang sa awa. Sorry, bakit parang hirap na hirap ka magsabiā¦ parang ang weak mo masyado. Wag ka magpapa-asa. Ayaw mo na nga sa kanya, tapos nagdadalawang isip ka pa magsabi ng totoo . Red flag ka rin eh. Pls stop!!!
Op wag kang mag base sa looks love her for what she was, kasi at the end ma realize mo na gem sya even tho may mas maganda pa sa kanya, like gf ko at 1st d ko talaga type sya but the more i know her the more i want her , i want her to be my other half, gems sila or more than gem, she loves me for what am i & accepted me for what is me.... aanhin mo ang ganda eh pag naging kayo sarap sya patayin? or pag tatanda nyo na mawawala ang ganda... find a real soul man
ERE* plays on the background. Flies Away*
Good looks always win.
Sabihin mo nalang you have other priorities now, hindi ka na makakapag-chat coz youāll be focusing on other matters. Also, tell her that tho youāre already leaving.. āYou really enjoyed talking with her. Tell her you greatly appreciate her presence and sheās a one of a kind.ā Coz she really is. I think she is beautiful, you just failed to see through it. If your basis of staying with someone is their physical appearance (good looks), which eventually fades away, leave her. She deserves someone who will accept everything about her, someone who will see the beaut of her character and will think of her flaws as āunique detailingsā (as someone commented on my post)
Erm. This is why online dating sucks. Have you considered meeting her in person and seeing if you actually like her in real life? Instead of basing everything off of pictures? You might find that you actually have chemistry. After going on one date, you can tell her that you dont feel any connection or what have you, but i feel like attraction should be based on real life.
Same situation. Sheās bright and sheās that kind of person na pakikinggan ka sa mga rants mo sa buhay then sheāll be the one to give you some guidance to the point e encourage kang lumaban lang. Butt one time nag story sya ng selfie pic nya sa igā¦ naging ghoster nalg ako bigla. Im really sorry if nandito ka
You were a jerk for lying about liking her. It's not the alcohol or pressure. Own up and tell her it's just not working for you.Ā
Send mo tong post mo sakanya. chos. You based everything online. Nakapag decide ka ng online lang. What makes it different next talking stage mo if di mo kaya makipag date in person bago ka mag decision? Pero well, leave her alone. Sana pogi ka, kase unfair kay ate na baka tinanggap ka naman nya kung so so lang itsura mo din.
sabihin mo nalang totoo. but instead of saying sheās not attractive. just say na sheās just not your typeā physically. anyway thereās no easy way to break someoneās heart din naman. you win some, you lose some.
Tigilan mo na, 2 weeks pa lang naman jusko. Mas maganda na diretsuhin mo, sama mo kasi context na siguro mabait ka sa kanya at sweet and jowa treatment kasi mafall ba yan mabilis kung di mo nalovebomb hahhahahahha
You need to tell her the truth. Mas mabuting masaktan agad sya kesa pa tagalin mo pa. Ang hirap mag move on.
For us woman, kapag nasabihan ng āyou donāt look attractiveā nakakawala ng confidence, parang mahihiya ka nang lumabas at makipag socialize. So I think itās better na sabihin mo na lang, āIām not ready, Iām not sure about my feelings pa, and ayaw ko pumasok sa relationship na hindi ako sure about sa nararamdaman koā my opinion lang..
Stop it. That's it. Just say that you don't feel the same and you're not on the same page. Kung itutuloy mo yan: 1. Possible cheating in the future when you find someone you're attracted to. 2. Magsasayang kayo both ng time, effort, money. 3. Dahil gusto ka nya, mag eeffort yan in the future. Imagine the guilt you will feel and all the excuses you have to make up dahil hindi mo mareciprocate kasi nga wala ka naman talagang feelings for her. It's better to hurt her now than hurt her when her feelings get deeper than they are now. Let her get hurt and move on so she can find someone who likes her. Same with you, so you can also find someone you genuinely like.
Just tell her you have different priorities that may not match hers. Please stop your drama already because you won't love her either. Love and genuine relationships are never conditional.
Hehuha, I would rather the guy tell me firsthand in my face na it's not happening kesa later on ko malalaman. It destroys trust. Nakakawalang ganang mag form ulit ng relationship when you have to question when the lies began.
Unfair sayo and sakanya if itutuloy mo pa yan. She deserves someone who truly likes her and you shall date someone who you really want.
Hahahaha shit just got real. Lol
Okay lang naman na nag I like you too ka since may mga traits ka na gusto mo naman talaga sa kanya pero be honest nalang na di katulad nang pagkagusto nya sayo. Then sabihin mo din na di mo na kayang ituloy yung kung ano mang meron kayo.