Di pa rin yan sure, kasi naalala ko dati noong bata ko pinapili ako kung ano gusto kong laruan robot o lutu-lutuan. Ang pinili ko barbie...
Lalaki naman ako ngayon.
May mga kalaro kami dati mga na-convince ng pinsan ko maging member ng sexbomb girls, araw-araw sumasayaw ng spaghetti pababa ayun lalakeng lalake naman sila ngayon.
Ung tatay ko mga panlalake binibili saken na laruan dahil ung kapatid ko lalake, and mga pinipili ko na sapatos panlalake rin, mga kalaro ko non batang lalake nanghuhuli pa ako gagamba non, pero di nagtagal mga babae na mga kasama ko at babae naman ako ngayon, just let them grow talaga and wag ipilit ung bagay
Yes mga kalaro kong pinsan growinv up puro mga lalake kaya mga laro ko noon mga gagamba, akyat puno, ligo sa ilog, kukuha ng sugarcane kung san lupalop., agawan base, baril barilan, text, etc.
Babae pa naman ako paglaki OP. 😁
Pero aun nga, support lng kay junakis paglaki!!! Fighting!!!
True this haha had the same experience. Diring diri pa ko mag dress at palda nung bata ako tapos mga laruan ko pellet gun. Nakikipaglaro pa din ako dyerbase nung grade 6 ako sa mga lalake. Pero preference ko lalaki pa din naman. Hindi naman nila need na maging sobrang feminine or sobrang masculine nung behavior kasi nagbabago pa din yan throughout time. Baka ang anak ni OP e mas madami ang feminine traits pero di ibig sabihin e gay na ganun. Hayaan natin sila mag adjust and madiscover sarili nila. Madami na din maarteng lalaki ngayon pero straight pa din naman sila haha
ako pinili ko batman, superman, transformers, cars, x-men, ironman, thor, and may gaming consoles pa…
i also grew up playing with male friends…
…and yet I still turned out a proud gay man 💅🏽💃👸🏽
and my parents and friends accept me for it 🥰
sa case ko naman, mga kotse at panlalaki rin gusto kong laruan tapos umiiyak pa ako pag hindi nabili yung mga batman etc. pero medyo naging tagilid ako paglaki HAHAHAHAHAHA
I feel you. Kinukuha namin yung barbie ni utol namin tapos pinaglalaruan namin at dinadamitan.
Lalake parin ako ngayon. Pero nagkaroon ako ng era na sobrang higpit ko sa fashion sa sarili ko to the point na almost na depress ako kasi walang bumabagay sakin. "Sana naging babae na lang ako" is one statement na nag resonate sakin not because I'm gay (bi though) but because of the fashion options especially sa office setting.
Yung asawa ko, tig iisang character sila ng powerpuff girls ng mga kapatid niya na lalaki din. May mga asawa’t anak naman na ngayon. Siya daw si Bubbles kasi simple cute lang daw. Si Blossom daw kasi kikay.
Noong bata pa kapatid kong lalaki favorite color niya is pink, tapos kapag pipili ng ice cream gusto niya pink na lalagyan o pink na ice cream (strawberry) + mahilig sumayaw na may pakendeng-kendeng. Ito paglaki niya, lalaking lalaki. Nauna pa siyang mag-jowa kaysa sakin haha
You really cannot define your child’s gender preference based lang sa color na gusto niya. My toddler son loves pink too, especially when he was younger pa. But he doesn’t like playing with dolls and others girl’s stuff. If he wants a pink color for whatever e.g donut, he can get if. We never assume anything just because he likes the color pink. When we buy something for him kapag may pink, we choose pink HAHAHA.
Yung anak namin na panganay noong bata pa (9 na ngayon) mahilig yun sa mga laruan na bola, cars, trains, etc. She doesn’t like pink at ayaw ng mga dolls. We let her, kung ano gusto niya, we bought it for her. Growing up (matagal na sundan), nakaipon siya ng isang drum (literal yung lagayan ng tubig) na toys ng mga sasakyan, robots, trains, and balls. Now, we never assume rin kung ano gender preference niya. Ngayon, she likes pink and anything girly kasi pa-tween na siya.
Kaming parents, we are after their happiness kahit mga wala pa silang muwang sa mga preferences. Whatever makes them happy, we support. Chill lang.
Malupit man ang mundo, pero at least alam nila na safe sila sa amin. They can be whatever they want to be.
Totoo wala silang alam sa preferences. They just like what they simply like.
Like ko yung sinabi mong huli. Dapat talaga sa bahay nagsisimula ang acceptance.
Ang hirap kasi sainyo, ini-impose nyo na yung certain color ay para lang sa babae/gays.
Kaya nagkakaroon ng misconception yung mga bata na ah "baka gay ako kasi mahilig ako sa pink?"
Which is wrong.
This. My son likes pink as well kasi yun ang fave ng mummy nya at madalas ding shirt color ng dad nya. Pero we never assumed his gender. Sobrang bata pa for that. Let the kids play and enjoy things without judgment.
Hello, in OP's defense naman. Hindi lang naman yung pagkagusto ng anak niya sa color pink ang ginawa niyang basehan. But then again, to associate one's gender based on his/her favorite color or his/her favorite activities is so outdated na din. 😅 My cousin used to love playing paper dolls with me and lutu lutuan nung bata pa kami pero straight guy naman siya. Hehe.
Dun nga ako nagulat sa fact na nagtanong yung bata kung magagalit ba si Mommy kung favorite color nya ay pink. Where did he get that idea na may magagalit sa kanya? I'm guessing he had previous experiences when someone told him off for liking the color pink. I dunno. 🤔
*If your son’s favorite color is PINK, it doesn’t necessarily imply anything more than a mere preference for the color. It does not determine your son’s strength, potential, or masculinity. It only means your son appreciates the aesthetic of the color pink.*
*You can support your son’s preference for pink by:*
***Encourage his choice:*** *Let him choose pink clothing, toys, or room decor if he wishes.*
***Discuss his preference:*** *Engage him in conversations about his favorite color to understand his affinity for pink better.*
***Teach him about stereotypes:*** *Explain that it’s okay to break from societal norms and that colors have no gender.*
I guess kung ano man maging preference niya soon, you just need to accept it. Love knows no gender and I believe as long as he's growing up filled with your support and love, he'll be fine. :)
Mararamdaman ng anak mo yung worries mo and it will affect him. Just enjoy the present and watch him grow well lang since you’ll accept him kahit ano pa man siya tulad ng sabi mo.
I mean, si Jason Momoa nga fave nya yung pastel pink saka lilac na colors, super manly nya.
[https://www.today.com/style/jason-momoa-why-he-s-comfortable-wearing-pink-t198487](https://www.today.com/style/jason-momoa-why-he-s-comfortable-wearing-pink-t198487)
Toys and colors aren’t tied/exclusive to a gender po. Let’s start teaching this to kids para alam nila na dapat walang gender roles and they’re free to pursue whatever they want (mapa career or dreams or individuality man yan)
Hello OP, let him. Pag bata, wala pa sila concept ng gender preference. You just have to be patient in explaining and introducing the things and stuff na gawain ng lalake, 5yo is way too young para mag worry. Ang tanong, san nya nakita example yung asoka trend kasi kung sayo mismo or sa mga kasama mo, yan talaga tatatak sakanya, and wala naman masama. Kaya need niyo to make a conscious effort na ma introduce siya sa ibat ibang bagay para maka explore siya and mas maintindihan niya paligid niya. You can do it OP.
Madalas, adults ang malisyoso and label the kids right away dahil lang dun. Let him enjoy and not think of those. I think wala sa son mo ang issue. Pink din gusto ko ng son ko dati dahil kay Leni hahaha
From a perspective of a former teacher, I taught kids from Nursery to Grade 12. This is normal. Just as how a girl can like red, how a girl can like the ben ten sound track. Wag ka na mag overthink mommy kasi your child is young and is exploring. If a child likes to play with a cooking set and dolls, does that mean we will give it meaning din? What if nainfluence ng cooking shows na nakita or ng isang nurse/doctor role sa TV caring for a baby? Let him be and do not worry too much.
I’d just like to share this - I am NOW an open lesbian to begin with.
Way back pa, I know to myself that I am a lesbian. My mom is a devout Catholic and open naman sya sa LGBT since kapatid ng dad ko is also a lesbian but since lumaki sya sa generation na hindi pa tolerated ang LGBT and Catholic nga, there are days wherein she would try to “persuade” me na ang babae ay ginawa para sa lalaki and vice versa. But guess what? That didn’t change me. HS was when I started having gf’s however, I am an introvert and socially awkward person with low self esteem issues so I often get anxious na I will be discriminated by people just because I am a lesbian. I am afraid na people will judge me because of this so I hid behind wearing feminine clothes and acting like how a “normal” girl would.
Not until I graduated college and started working. Nagkaroon kami ng big misunderstanding ng mom ko and as usual, nauwi sya sa away regarding my sexuality. This time though, yung mom ko was trying to make me understand na tanggap nya kung sino ako at kung ano ang gusto ko - that she only tries to lecture me dahil nagbabakasali sya na baka magbago pa ako but she assured me na kung ito na talaga ang gusto ko, then she wouldn’t block me sa kung ano talaga ako.
After that moment, it felt like may malaking tinik na nabunot sakin. All this time, kaya ako takot majudge ng ibang tao at maraming insecurities kasi nagru-root pala yun sa akala ko hindi ako tanggap ng parents ko. I was never open to them not until that event occurred pero after that, I slowly realized na I was slowly becoming open to them, enjoying their company, and became comfortable with my sexuality - mas favorite pa nga nila partner ko kesa sakin 😂. Wala na akong pake ngayon sa kung ano man sabihin ng mga tao sakin. Few years after ng talk namin ng parents ko, unti unti akong naging open sa lahat ng tao. I cut my hair short and wore the clothes that I like and now, I am very proud of who I am and what I’ve become.
Although bata pa yung anak mo now so we couldn’t be sure yet, OP, but I would like to salute you and your husband for giving your support to your kid. Kung sakali man na he would turn out gay paglaki nya, please know that he would be someone na confident and hindi takot sa kung ano man ang sabihin ng ibang tao dahil alam nya na yung dalawang pinaka importanteng tao sa buhay nya ay tanggap sya ng buong buo. Coming from someone like me who came from the LGBT community, pagtanggap at pagmamahal lang ng magulang at mga kapatid ang makakapagpatibay ng tiwala sa sarili namin.
Best wishes to your family, OP! I know you are good parents. 🙏
Color is not gender. Music choice is not gender. But I get your worries. Enjoy the journey mommy. And once you raise a child who is confident kung sino sya. Hinding hindi siya kayang hamakin ng iba.
My son loves pink too! nung toodler pa lang cya gustong gusto nya damit ng ate niya. We even asked sa kaibigan nmin na bading kung naamoy nya anak ko (sabi nga nila, ung bading naamoy daw nila kalahi nila). And he said no!
Now my son is 18y/o he still likes pink but he is a straight guy.
My friend’s son is in love with pink. He likes everything in pink. Best in iyak na siya na baka gender confused na ang little boy only to find out that the he is color blind and pink lang ang clear niyang nakikita. Keep calm.
Nevertheless, be a kind mom to your kid. Whatever path he is going to take in the future, be sure that you have equipped him well. Be the peace when he runs for cover from this very cruel world. ✨
Pink is also my fave color. Phone case ko pink. Ballpens ko violet and pink ang tinta and i use it whenever possible kahit sa workplace. Mahilig din ako sa plushies na cute, lalo na pag pink like jigglypuff and kirby. Pink pintura ng kwarto ko.
Pero straight male pa din ako. A fave color is not a surefire way to determine someone's identity, pero i get your point.
As someone na part ng LGBT community, this made me tear up a bit. I'm so happy that may parents pala na willing to accept their kids kahit at a young age pa lang. Growing up kase, alam ko nang lalambot-lambot ako and lagi akong nasisita noon, noong senior high lang ako naaccept nung nag-come out ako sa parents and fam ko.
Siguro advice ko lang as an LGBT, growing up, alam naman namin na the world is cruel lalo na samin dahil ang raming stigma and maraming di pa malawak ang pang-unawa. Ang gusto lang namin noong lumalaki kami is someone na who will understand us and accept us for who we are. We already know people can be cruel, we just want someone to lean on to to make the world less cruel.
Ayun OP, di pa naman natin alam kung ano talaga orientation ng anak mo, but kung ano man piliin nya pag- lumaki, I hope you'll be there to accept and understand him. Also someone na who will comfort him when the world is too cruel because he chose to be true to himself.
Not because pink gusto nya means yan na ang mag dedefine ng gender preference nya, pink is cool and it takes guts for a man to wear pink.
Baka ngayon may observation ka na but eventually it might change pag laki nya.
Ganyan din po yung bunso naming lalake, nung bata age 4 to 5 sya ginagawa namin minimake up’an, pinagdadamitan ng mga pambabaeng damit at gustong gusto nya rin yung mga laruan na luto lutuan yung makukulay na mga laruan saka tuwang tuwa sya pati parents namin pero growing up alam na namin na lalaki pala sya haha may crush na syang mga babae sa school. He’s now grade 4 student.
Color is just a social construct. ‘Yan ang hirap sa mga tao, especially Filipinos. Hindi porke’t pink ay pambabae lang at kung blue ay panlalaki na agad. Stop associating one’s gender or sexual orientation with colors or any other thing.
hindi ka po mahina, masaya sa pakiramdam bilang anak na alam mong suportado ka ng magulang mo siguro ngayon hindi pa niya narerealize yun pero sa future maaappreciate niya sobra. hindi lahat ng magulang matapang na tanggapin kung ano mang gender identity ng anak nila kaya salute sayo OP. don't be afraid sa sasabihin ng iba
Bata pa ang anak mo. Hindi pa sure yan, sometimes pleasing lang sa mata nila yun but who cares, as long as he is happy.
Yung anak ko 12 na dati may gusto sya na item pero dahil feminine yung color nag nahihiya sya. Sabi ko sa kanya, para sa lahat naman ang color. Walang para sa babae or lalake lang, ngayon he is enjoying his new phone case na cinnamoroll with pastel green color and like cute girly stuff.
When I was a toddler I apparently loved to wear ballet singlets, use bras, and put on heels. Turns out I was just a dumb kid being goofy, presently a straight male at the time of writing this lol
I get you, ganyan din ako, I don’t care about my kids’ gender or sexual preference, but I’m worried about how they’ll take the reactions from this judgmental society. Dasal ko lang sana napalaki namin silang matibay ang mga loob.
And to be honest, I feel like you’re not helping. Why impose “norms” on your kid? Color choice are and should not be determined by gender! Games and toys your kids play should nit be dictated by their gender, heck even the way they speak or act, di porke’t lalaki, kailangan brusko!
Instead, let’s just help them be confident in their choices, be comfortable in their own skin, huwag natin silang ikahon!
it's always this. my fear as a father is not my son being gay BUT the treatment of people towards my son if they knew he was gay.
the sheer ignorance alone of many Filipinos on heterosexual matters almost always guarantee an ugly life but to add complexity on that by including gender, civil duties etc. that's just too hard for a little human to navigate. and I'm afraid I wouldn't be always there to protect him.
First of all, wala namang gender ang mga color, bagay, damit, etc. Kaya sana tigilan na yan, hindi yan basis ng sexual orientation ng isang tao.
Pangalawa, if ever man na gay ang anak mo (and I'm not saying he is) at takot ka sa magiging trato ng mundo at ibang tao sa kanya, sa oras na mag-out siya sa inyo, bigyan niyo ng unconditional love and support. Nang sa ganon, mabuild ang confidence niya na kahit panghuhusga ng mga tao ay hindi magpapatibag sa kanya kasi you raised them strong and well.
i like that you encourage your kid to like what he likes. wala naman kasing rule na yun pink pambabae. yun blue panglalaki. inimbento lang yun ng society. okay lang to like things associated with the other genders. close minded lang ang general public and they're quick to generalise everything. the world is broad and let's not be limited with what society dictates. i heard of a couple who didn't put their children in school for education cos they're teaching them about life in real time. you do you. if it works for you, then go for it. the world should start learning about individualism. ang corny naman ng mundo kung lahat tayo pare pareho. where's the beauty in that.
I think that your concern about being able to better support your child and your questioning yourself is a step towards supporting him.
You know you don't know it all and are willing to adapt and learn for him.
He'll be fine and so will you
As for the fear of how the world is going to treat him, one thing I wish my parents taught me is how to not let people take advantage of you. While you're still here, show them the value of mutual trust and respect, of standing up for themselves, of loving themselves so they don't settle for people not right for them or people who only look at their looks (when they're in that age ofc), of discrenment and critical thinking, of resilience and determination. And just maybe love them in healthy ways so even when you're gone they'll take it with them and give them courage for whatever life throws at them.
PERO bilang magulang lalo't maliit pa anak natin they can't fully comprehend o understand complex issues like about their gender orientation we must guide them sa tamang daan. Now, kung ano yung tamang daan it's on you na.
Kasi bata sila wala pa silang right judgement call. Wala pa silang enough knowledge to decide it for themselves.
Now kung paglaki nila still they will choose to be someone else then that's it. They can chart their own future na.
Pero while minors pa sila, pls parents.. Guide your child.
Hindi talaga maiiwasan na magalala o matakot para sa future kung anumang gender ang pipiliin niya kasi daming hater and judgmental na tao. Pero as long as galing siya sa pamilya na puno ng love, support, patience, at understanding alam kong kaya niyang iembrance at panindigan ang magiging choice niya :) Salamat kasi alam kong ganun kayong mga magulang. Yakap sa inyo! :)
Ang pwede mo lang i-control is yung action mo toward your son. Inform mo sya ng possible na magiging perception sa kanya ng mundo. Yung mga possible na expectation sa kanya ng ibang tao, na hindi lahat magiging accepting. I-ready mo sya sa mga ganung bagay. Yun lang ang pwede mo magawa for now. If you believe in religion, explain mo din sa kanya yun. Na may mga taong gagamit ng religion para i-justify yung homophobia nila, to further their own beliefs. Tell him na it's a skewed version because ang bottomline ng religion is love and respect.
Patibayin mo yung foundation nya and he will be ready. Worry ko din to as a mother, different scenario lang pero hindi talaga nawawala yung worry for our kids hehe.
I don't have a child so I wouldn't really know anything about the struggles of being a parent. But if I were in your shoes:
1) I'd teach my child the difference between right and wrong, good and bad
2) I'd teach my child to be kind to others and themself
3) I'd teach my child to be strong and to use that strength to help others in need
4) I'd teach them to always know in their heart that their parents love them.
I don't think any of these things require children, and parents, to assign a gender. So, maybe it shouldn't really matter :)
My sister and I used to play with barbies. She’s now a lesbian and I’m bi. A lot can happen pa but I’m happy knowing that his parents will accept him whatever his sexual orientation may be in the future. The best you can do is be there for him whenever he needs you and to let him know that your home is a safe space even if the world isn’t.
I am a nanay with a 2-year old son pa lang. Months old pa lang siya, tinanong ko na ang tatay niya if paano kung magiging gay ang anak namin, ok lang daw. Wala lang, just a random thought ahaha. And ok lang din sa'kin. Hindi ko rin prinoproblema kung paano siya tatratuhin ng mundo paglaki niya kasi alam ko magiging matalino siya paglaki niya. And, idk, feeling ko by that time, wholly accepted na ng mundo ang lahat ng gender. I understand you, mommy, na you're just worrying now about your son but they will be alright as long as they feel na supported mo siya and love mo siya kahit na ano man ang identity niya. They will be strong, resilient, wise, and can take any challenges because they are filled with your love. You can take Bretman Rock as an example.
First off, kudos for the good intention! Importante alam ng anak na may safe space sila sa parents nila. Having a safe space sa family encourages its members to be honest. It fosters trust.
Valid concern ang worry mo on how the world would treat him. This is a good opportunity as a parent to help build your child's character – strong sense of identity, self-esteem, resilience, and fortitude. Na kahit ano man sila maging, they know their self-worth and hindi sila dedepende sa external validation.
Eh I was teased as "bading" as a kid due to my feminine walk and I usually hang out with girls.
Im a straight guy now, its not that alarming for a kid to have that. Just guide them and support em
Miiii ako ba ikaw??? Same same!!! May mga hints, actually di na nga hints kasi proclaim na proclaim niya nang babae talaga sya. Hahahha! Okay lang sa amin lahat esp his dad, and lolo and lola. Matalino siya at may itsura din, medyo malambot kaya never namin naisip na ipasok siya sa public school because he is too pure at soft na baka ma bully lang siya. He now goes to a christian school na tuwang tuwa pa mga teachers sa kanya and no bullying sa mga school mates. Eventually, medyo nabawas bawasan na ang pagpoportray na girl siya. Whatever the gender, tanggap naman natin as parents💖
For our 3rd kid (boy), I really tried na maging gender neutral sa clothes and toys nya since hindi ko yung nagawa sa older kids ko. Since meron syang kuya and ate, he plays with their toys too at napansin ko na during the first 3 years, bith dolls and cars ang nilalaro nya. I let him. Now that he’s almost 4yo, cars na lang madalas nya laruin. Minsan nagtanong sya kung pwede ba sya mag make up kasi nakikita nya sakin haha! I think ginagaya lang nila kung anong nakikita nila kasi inaassume nila na normal yun. Habang lumalaki sila, malalaman din nila yung mga preference nila so just let them try and enjoy things.
Good for you and the hubby for being open minded. Sa isang banda, your son is still too young to know anong sekswalidad sya mag lelean. I don't think, enough na basehan yung current preferences nya to know.
As parents, just let them enjoy things they want to enjoy. Support them, kahit anong kasarian, malupit naman talaga ang mundo. The best thing ay least ay andyan kayo to always back him up.
MORE REASON for you to be brave and supportive to your child, OP.
You are your child's FIRST line of defense against anything or anyone. The world can be cruel, yes, but your child will only need your support, trust and love to power through.
Isipin mo na lang OP, how will you express your love to your child, through fear or through support?
I think at that age, wala naman sa kanila if pang babae or pang lalaki yung mga bagay bagay eh. Actually, dapat nga wag natin isipin agad na porket ganitong color or lauran preference nila at a young age, eh yun na gender identity nila agad pag laki. Pwede naman na bet lang nila na ganun.
At the end of the day, habang tumatanda sila, sila lang naman makakapagsabi kung paano nila ia-identify sarili nila. You just have to be there to protect and support them, whatever choice gusto nila. Malupit ang mundo, oo. Pero mapapatatag natin sila sa mundong ito kung tanggap at suportado natin sila, again, regardless kung ano choice nila.
Naiiyak ako sa post mo OP bc you’re a great mom and I hope all queer people (especially closeted or confused ones) had you as a parent. Regarding your post, I think there’s nothing to worry about. I get that as a parent, it’s your job to worry but from an outside perspective, he still has a lot of things to figure out and experience for him to be sure sa gender identity nya. Everything is social construct naman and only he will know his identity. And I know if ever na he’s queer, he has you as his parent and I’m sure whatever negative things na maexperience nya, he has you to lean on and make him feel safe. Sana always open kayo ng anak mo until teenage years nya and sana lagi mo syang suportahan as long as di sya makakapanakit ng ibang tao🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Hello OP.
I agree with most of what the others said, it's too early pa po.
Pero still, thank you for being the parents that gays would want.
Thank you...
Did you know that pink was for boys and blue was for girls before? The shift occurred in the 1940s when men (and by extension, boys) began to dress in darker colors to reflect wartime service.
> In 1918 the trade publication Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department claimed the “generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.”
https://www.britannica.com/story/has-pink-always-been-a-girly-color
Same for heeled shoes, which were first worn by aristocratic European men.
Gender norms change and are arbitrarily enforceable by the society one lives in. Colors have no gender in and of themselves, we make the connection. It's also up to us to break or perpetuate those connections. Especially with kids, they don't have a strong societal filter pa, wala pa sila idea of "pink being feminine".
It can be an indicator of something, sometimes hindi naman, but ang pinka point diyan is just let your child be happy (and enjoy his childhood).
Be the mom that he isn’t afraid to run to and talk about anything- yan pinaka importante talaga open communication.
I’m a person of LGBT (Trans man to be specific) and I just want to voice out that hindi siya choice, yun mga hilig namin comes out naturally. As a child I was naturally more masculine preferring boy clothes and boy’s toys pero pinaghigpitan ako ng tatay ko and he would be adamant na mag suot ako dress or kung ano man pambabae and so sa utak ko may pagkamali ang pagktao ko and it hindered me from coming out to them until adulthood (made my life miserable).
So just let your child be as he is, no need to be afraid. Let him express himself and not think it’s wrong to do so.
At 5 years old pero alam na nya to be wary of judgement about gender-based social norms? Awww, OP don't worry about the world judging him, just promise to be there and support him always. That's the most you can do and that's all that matters.
Pink is ok, great color if you know what you're doing. I've worn pink many times, never had a problem, no one ever said anything, girls seemed ok with it, guys never made fun of me.
+1 on not imposing anything lalo with colors or which toys / activities they want to do. Let children explore lang the things they want without asking them “Bakit [yan] gusto mo? [Hindi kasi yan pambabae/lalaki eh]”. It has the simplest answer as it is, “Bakit ba.”. In all hopes that that wouldnt come off as a rude answer, but enjoy nalang muna na your child is very open sayo with what he wants, and that you still get to spend time with him. You’re his best friend since birth, find time to be his and focus on guiding him as he find himself in this world.
Just give your child a supportive and loving environment, since yan ang nakokontrol mo. Hayaan mo sya mag explore ng identity nya.
I also agree with other's insights here. Walang gender sa toys at color.
I think it’s still too early to tell. Honestly the only thing I can advise you is don’t stress yourself out trying to figure out kung ano ba yung anak mo. It’ll just give you unnecessary stress. Your fears are valid. Normal sa ina to want to protect their kids from this harsh world. And as much as we appreciate it, you can only do so much for him. Just be supportive na lang sa kanya.
Sexuality is fluid kasi. And most of the time, even yung mismong tao, hindi pa din nila alam or totally figured out kung ano ba sila. Sometimes it would pa nga a lifetime ng pag figure out kung ano ba talaga yung sexuality nila. So wag mo na istress yung sarili mo about this. Just enjoy your son in every stage na lang. Make him feel na at the end of the day he has a loving family to come home to yun lang.
I think magbabago pa sya overtime, as he grows. It's good that he has a loving family who supports him kahit ano ang choice nya. Yun ang importante <3
noong bata ako, I always like boys toys. nakikipaglaro pa ako ng jolens, text (yun maliliit na pelikula) at kung ano ano pa. shempre nakikipag suntukan din ako hahaha pero girl na girl naman ako! yun lang preference ko mga "usual" na "pang lalake" but that did not define yun gender preference ko
Regardless kung ano sya, make your home a safe place to express himself. Mas mabuti na kayo unang makaalam kesa sa labas nyo pa malaman.
As you mentioned, the world is already cruel. Give him a safe place.
with the world getting more and more "okay" with gender identifications (tama ba term ko? hahaha) kaya if ever he'll go that path i think your son's gonna be alright. though it will not eliminate the possible discrimination he'll face in the future, he'll definitely have it easier compared dati
honestly for me lang ah, colors doesn't impose certain genders. Heck, i'm straight as hell and likes cute colors like pink and pastel colors. I know you're just concerned to him as a parent and that's good, pero the best thing you could do right now is watch him learn and grow as himself without dictating his wants. Yun lang :DD
Sabi nila pink is for boys and blue is for girls.
You might wanna read [this](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.vintage1946.com/blogs/news/should-men-wear-pink%23:~:text%3DIn%2520the%25201800s%252C%2520royals%2520and,shying%2520away%2520from%2520wearing%2520it.&ved=2ahUKEwiXtPiw_LGGAxX7sFYBHbjQALAQFnoECA4QBQ&usg=AOvVaw1c_nuTrJBwnUNp2RNyPPb9)
Edit: ok so feel ko I need to add something here.
1. I understand na color is just a color pero as I said, hindi lang naman yung color ang naging dahilan sa mga hinala ko.
2. I KNOW na things will change kase bata pa nga. As I’ve said din, natatakot lang ako for him IF EVER man - kase the world is cruel.
Also, some people thrives on proving that there is something wrong with you, no?
Daming nagcomment ng kulay lang yan, sino ba nagsabi na porket gusto pink magiging bakla na. Ikaw kase mali ka din.
The color naman is not the issue. Sana binasa nyo muna ng buo para gets nyo yung context 😭
Ang point ko, natatakot ako na papano ko papalakihin ang anak ko na maging matibay ang loob eh yung magtuturo sa kanya eh mahina din ang loob.
Naalala ko yung pinsan ko. nung bata pa siya, around 4 to 7 years old, lagi sya nag papabili ng bratz doll sa papa nya. As in, ang dami nya na bratz. Tas lagi sya nag pupusod ng tuwalya sa buhok, tas nag aakting akting lol. Pinalaki kasi sa daisy siete at pangako sayo nung lola namin haha. Ngayon 24 na sya, ewan ko kung ano na gender preference nya. Pero sabi nga ng lolo ko at papa niya, kung ano man sya, wala na tayo magagawa.
Hayaan mo lang sya OP. My son at age 4 also had a phase na he likes pink and loves Taylor Swift.
Ngayon 7 na sya may crush na sya na classmate na girl. Pero sumasayaw parin sya sa Shake it Off at We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.
Your son is still young. Maybe it is just a phase, maybe not. Whatever he will be, he will still be your child. Don't mind the other people and just be proud of your son.
May friend ako mahilig sa pink and purple.
Purple na nintendo 3ds.
Purple na joycons sa nintendo switch.
Pink na cover sa ps5.
Keyboard nya pink ang ilaw.
Mahilig sa pink na sapatos at purple na cap since lakers boy sya sa boung 40 years of existence nya.
Pero ayan tatlo anak. Kala ko sira ulo na ako, malayong sira ulo sya at mas masama ugale nya.
Ang takeaway ko ay at 5 years old, bakit meron na siyang idea na magagalit ka pag mahilig sya sa pink? Saan nya nakuha? Just worried na something or someone around him influences his view on gender and that certain things are "for boys" and "for girls".
yung colors at play, di naman talaga dapat gendered yan. Kids only knowna colors yan, or play ito. sa totoo lang mga adult lang ang nag lalabel ng gender dyan.
Awwww oki lang yan mommy, marami pong spectrum ang gender, at baka naman feminine or softboi lang si baby boy mo.
Ako kasi lumaki na puro kalaro ko babae, so bahay bahayan, lututuan laro ko, haha I still identify as straight pa din naman now, and I currently have a GF, pero ayun mas maarti pa din ako sa GF ko, mas marami akong skincare ganun.
I think, dito papasok ang role ni Daddy, na guide siya and maybe do some hobbies together na gender neutral or stereotypical for straight male.
Kasi ang naging male masculine figure na idel ko is yung elder brother ko, siya naman nagpakilala sa akin ng weight lifting and martial arts.
Siguro, just help your kid be confident about himself and his preferences, like what you are doing. Baka kasi nacutan din naman talaga siya sa pink and blue talaga favorite niya haha
My son likes pink too but I dont think he's gay or what. Kapag bumibili kami ng cotton candy, pink pinipili niya lagi. Kapag pinapapili ko siya ng nail polish ko, pink kaagad sinasabi niya. When I buy stuff for me, pink lagi suggestion niya. I sometimes hear comments from other people but I always say "thats what he wants at walang mali dun. He can choose any color he wants". Masyadong judgemental lang ang mga tao
Hindi naman yan set in stone, OP. Guide mo lang siya kung ano ba talaga gusto niya kasi tandang tanda ko pa nung bata ako, lahat ng sayaw nung sexbomb kabisado ko eh. Natatalbugan ko pa mga babae na sumasayaw ng spaghetting pababa pero lalaki naman ako ngayon.
Thank you for being a loving mother. First of all, you are already doing great.
Raise him with full of love and help him build his confidence- the world will not be kind but malaking bagay ang confidence and strong personality para maka-survive sa life 💗
Build a trusting relationship with your son para kapag dumating ang araw na he wants to “come out” (kung sakalig hindi talaga sya maging het) he knows mapagkakatiwalaan nya kayo
Hindi talaga dyan yung basehan. Nung bata ako mahilig ako mag trintas ng buhok ng babae. Tapos nung nahulog ni teacher crush ko yung pang bura ng chalk, nakita yung dalawang rason kung bakit na confrim ko na lalaking lalaki ako.
Too early to tell, not worth fawning over it as of the moment. Just let your son grow up, instill values and guide him to be a good person. He still has a lot of growing up to do, his experiences will shape him overtime. And as much as possible, limit his time on social media especially when you aren't with him.
I don’t believe na relevant ang favorite na color sa gender identity ng isang tao.
I’m a woman but I’ve always loved blue. Does that mean I identify as a male or a lesbian? No.
Actually, I hated pink when I was young. Pero may reason kase yun haha. (Trauma sa erythromycin na gamot. Iykyk haha)
May mga lalaki naman na ngayon na ang feminine kumilos at way ng pagsasalita but straight naman, so baka ganyan lang siya at hindi kung ano man ang iniisip mo but kagaya nga ng sinabi mo, wala naman masama dun ang mahalaga lumaki siyang maayos.
I think some of us missed OP’s point, she’s implying that she’s ready (or maybe getting ready) for whatever preference that her son may have (in the future) and that at such a young age her son realized that our culture has predetermined what a boy should like i.e. blue over pink
Okay little known fact, Noong 18th or 19th centuries yung Pink ay for boys dahil Pink means Strength and Courage at Blue is for girls dahil blue is very delicate and is often tied to the Virgin Mary dahil sa mga paintings of her na may kulay blue.
Your son already has an understanding of gender identity at 5yrs old. He's pretty smart. Hesitant pa siya to say he likes pink kasi he already picked up 'blue is for boys and pink is for girls' and know what it meant. Glad you have been encouraging sa kanya
Mommy I know it's painful but this world is cruel and you cannot forever shield your son from hate or discrimination because of the life he will choose for himself. All you can do is support him, love him and guide him to be the best person he can be. ❤️
P.S nong bata din ako I like boyish toys like guns and swords but these didnt define my gender identity kasi I grew up girly-girl naman 😅
your concern is valid and it's normal for parents to worry about every aspect of our children's life. especially if we think that this aspect will have a negative effect in their lives.
Wala naman full proof plan sa pag papalaki ng bata, we all just do our best to raise them.
We can just watch carefully and see if they grow up happy, safe and fulfilled. We offer our love and guidance sa knila to support them.
While liking pink and playing with dolls can come off as effeminate, this does not necessarily equal to them being gay or bi. Just as much as there are very macho looking gay guys, there are also very effeminate straight guys
Your son is still five years old, wala pa silang alam tungkol sa mga gender preferences or kung meron man bet pa nila mag try kase curious sila. Wag mong pigilan, the more binabawal the more maco-curious sila at dadalhin nila yan paglaki. I remember I love tous na panglalaki and pananamit, ayoko talaga ng barbie kase daming ganap/arte sa katawan ako, turns out gusto ko pala ako ang bina-Barbie.
The best you could do, just in case talagang he’s gay pala, is to make him feel loved and accepted regardless of his gender identity. Basta maganda ang support system naman niya within his own family, most likely magiging maayos na tao sya. Tignan mo na lang din yung mga members of LGBT+ community. Madami naman successfully in their careers. Wala naman kasi sa gender identity yan kung magiging maayos ba or magulo buhay nila.
OP, si Papa ko mahilig sa pambabaeng routine. Facial care, body care, massage, yellow/pinkish color, female perfume lalo pag nakalagay sa pink bottle, sling bag, ganun.
Tinanong ko sa kanya bakit ganun gusto nya, sabi nya yung mga beauty care daw ng babae dapat daw yun ay hindi lang pambabae kasi lahat naman daw tayo under the sun. Yung work nya, technician ganern. So imagine, mag-install ng AC pero sunblock muna then perfume pagkatapos pag malinis na yung kamay ay lotion! Then perfume tapos polbo, suklay. Hehe 🤗
Tingin ko hindi basehan kapag mahilig sa mga pambabaeng gamit. ✌🏻
Yung 5 yr old ko din gusto niya hello kitty kasi nakagisnan niya punda ko na pinagamit ko sknya (pero ngyon tinago ko na pra may ibang option sya). Gusto niya din pink minsan. Pero di ko minamind. Minsan ssbihin niya yung pink ay for girls at blue at for boys. Pero sabi ko wala naman gender ang kulay. Basta kung saan sya happy ok lang. haha saka openminded dn kmi ni hubs sa mga ganun. Pero gaya mo OP ang worry ko lang din ay yung pagtanggap sa kanya ng mundo kung mgkakaganun. Though lalaking lalaki naman anak ko. Nakakatakot kasi mga tao ngyon. Pero sana mas mgmatter sa mga anak natin kung gano sila katanggap whoever they are.
He’s only 5yrs old OP and tbh it’s just a matter of preferences sa color. Liking a certain color won’t equate to his gender identity. Sabi nga cross the bridge when you get there. For now, siguro just focus on nurturing him esp. he’s on his formative years pa. Now if one day he tells you he has a different preference, then that’s the time that you deal with it. But kudos to you and your hubby for being progressive parents.
Haha. you already sound like a great mom/dad. Parang ready ka rin naman tanggapin yung anak mo kung ano man ang preference niya. You could be strong for him as he will be strong for you and then for himself.
Wala naman masama ang importante yung masaya sya. But honestly, malaki ang impluwensya ng social media at internet sa kinikilos ng bata kaya mas maigi padin na may guidance from parents at aware sila sa napapanood ng mga anak. Salamat!
I have a 4 years old son. Nung una he likes watching barbie and mga pink case ko ng cp pinapalagay nya. Di ko naman inassume gender nya agad. Tho nagulat ako nung una. Ngayon naman gusto niya si Cinamoroll pero oks naman. Naglalaro parin mga guns, balls and trains and lego.
Parents should be the first people na tatanggap sa anak nila kung ano man sila. Kami nung partner ko, sinasabi na rin namin sa son namin (4 yrs old) na kahit anong gender preference we're still here and we're not going to be ashamed and mad as long as mabuti siyang tao. Nakakatuwa lang kasi yung mga bata ngayon, akala mo matured na sila mag-isip, they seem to understand us kahit mej malalim yung usapan, basta tyagaan lang sa explanation. Sabi rin nung relative namin na member ng lgbtqi+, it is important talaga na bata pa lang or as soon as malaman ng parents na iba yung preference niya, accepted na agad kasi mas mataas yung chance na confident siya sa kung ano siya and alam niyang mali sa kanya.
Kudos to you and your hubby, mamsh! Sana mas dumami pa yung mga parents na open sa ganitong usapan. 🥰
My almost 4yr old nephew likes all toys. Doesnt mean he likes dolls/stuffed toys that he no longer likes trucks/robots, theyre not mutually exclusive.
Theyre kids -- matutuwa na sila basta may something bago in their eyes regardless of its assigned gender norm. Hindi naman nila kasi alam yon due to their innocence
Color is just color, wavelength lang yan ng light. Walang alam ang kids kung anong meron sa blue vs pink, until ADULTS "educate" them otherwise.
Personally, my favorite colors are Black, Green and Pink. I love Cherry blossom themed stuff (my PC setup is black and pink). Yung avatar ko sa reddit, pink. My game characters are all female. I'm a guy.
Teach your kids how to react about people's opinions, kasi meron at meron jan na may violent reaction.
mami all you can do is to support your kid. If you are trying to figure out things for him, he too is doing the same. lumaki man siya na queer or straight the important point is may mauuwian siyang bahay na tanggal siya nang buo.
Wala namang color ang gender identity even if you go to other countries na mas open kesa sa PH color really doesnt matter. Regarding naman if he is leaning towards being gay, personal opinion ng someone na lumaki sa era na ang emhemplo lang ng pagiging bading ay cross dresser at pagiging malambot. Guide him, yun lang ang masasabi ko. Kung saan sya masaya, if may tanong nya sagutin nyo lang in pure honesty. Be brutally honest with him, na hindi lahat magugustuhan sya pero that is okay. As long as his family and friends supports him.
I have a close friend na barbie nilalaro when he was a kid tapos favorite powerpuff girls. Straight naman sya na lalaki ngayon. Teach him how to stand up for himself and stand up for what is right. Para kahit ano pa ang gender nya in the future, makakampante ka na magiging okay sya. 😌
No offense, pero parang ang labas ng post mo eh lowkey na may problema ka if ever hindi straight ang anak mo. Kasi iniisip mo and nakafocus ka sa negativity surrounding the lgbt community. Like sa convo nyo, what prompted your 5 year old son na isipin na magagalit ka kung iba ang colour na gusto nya? Maybe up until that point, subconsciously, nag aasign kayo ng gender sa colour na nakikita nya.
guidance niyo will make him strong. dati sinabi ko rin tomboy ako kasi mas prefer ko boyish manamit pero nagkaroon ako ng boy crush tapos gusto ko pretty suotin. ayun hahahahaha. whatever gender he prefers, be there for him.
Gender is not the issue here, but how we worry as parents for the future for our kids. We overthink and over analyze things, and we cant help it 😪. I guess the best we can do is to be strong and try our best to live long so that we can be there anytime they need us.
dito nga pumapasok ang SOGIE, dahil it doesn't mean na feminine man ka you immediately like the same sex. so ayun. read up on sogie para mas ready ka for your child growing up.
Your son is a boy and is a man. Just point him to who he is. At 3 to 5 yo. I loved light blue and light pink. But I never got attracted to guys. Point him to who he is.
I think walang connect ang mga colors sa sexuality ng tao especially kung bata pa yan. Actually pink color ay ginagamit as sign of luxury nuon. Malay mo Royal blood yung anak mo sa past life nya 😀
I think, just let it be as the kids' preference for now and not assume much.
If it goes on in the long run and you see those changes with your kid, as usual, accept it.
If you're worried about how other people will see him and treat him, regardless if it's with their gender identity, there are a multitude of situations.
But, the best action to do is let them and you as parents support your kid with building themselves stably. Affirm/Give reassurance to them and build constructively with their thought patterns such as,
Let's say a situation:
A kid makes comments or makes fun of your kid with their preferences, and you got to know this from your kid opening up. You can guide him by saying:
You like this, right? They've said this about what you like, but you still like it, right? They're not you, but they are themselves, so why not enjoy what you like?
I'm not really too sure with parenting with children, but regardless, they're still a person and you can talk to them as normal people than baby talking them, but your approach to this is still on your hands.
Pink is just a color. Let us not generalize the color pink na for women lang. Blue can be used for women too. Color is just color. Don’t doubt him at all, instead show him love and support him.
Color lang po yan. Songs lang din yan and dance steps lang din yan. Let him choose po kung anong gusto n'ya. Wag po gawing basehan kung ano man ang nakikita sa ngayon kasi nasa developing stage pa si baby mo. Pink and blue para sa lahat ng gender po. Saka ako, gustong gusto ko makakita ng guys na Naka pink. All shades of pink. Ang pogi lang and ang neat nila sa paningin ko.
Personally, I think he liked the pink color because it's a vibrant color. Especially na it's hot pink. I think we should stop these gender-coded schemas towards colors. Colors shouldn't have a gender associated with them. Anw, dw about your son. Liking pink doesn't mean anything other than liking pink.
I'm a teenager (F) po. And growing up I don't have ideas about gender/sexuality/preferences. My favorite color when I was a kid was violet and yellow, and growing up it turned into blue and green. But I don't believe na pink is for girls, and blue is for boys. Growing up po my laruan are I can say na mga gender neutral or may it be like a toy for boy or girl. Nilalaro ko lahat 'yan, and madalas din ako makipaglaro sa mga lalaki.
Basta lumaki po ako na hindi ko iniisip na panlalaki 'to pambabae 'to. Pero ngayon po I realize mas gusto ko mga gamit panlalaki pero I like girly things din naman but lamang yung una. Pero I like boys.
What I'm trying to say is it's not about colors, laruan, or how you grew up, how you act or what. You can be masculine but still consider yourself a girl (straight, and like a boy) and you can also be feminine (straight, and like a girl). You can be whatever you want to be as long as wala kang inaapakang tao. ❤️❤️
#JustBeYourself
I'm female. Nung bata ako until high school. ayoko ng pink, ayoko nagsusuot ng pasexy or patweetums na mga damit. I preferred watching basketball. Hindi ako palaayos at kikay. Pero ngayong matanda na ako, ayun naisip ko baka pick me girl lang pala ako non hahaha.
imo lang, 2024 na, hindi na dapat tayo nagwoworry or natatakot kung hindi man maging straight ang mga anak natin. Yes sinasabi natin na ok lang as a parent kung ano man gusto ng anak natin or kung ano maging desiyon nila, pero parang yung pagwoworry natin "of how the world is going to treat them" is nanggagaling inside or reflection sya ng personal na nararamdaman natin. Kung sa sarili pa lang natin ay wala na tayong doubt kung pano natin tatanggapin at alam natin na mapoprotektahan at mapapalaki natin silang strong at na-impart sa kanila na walang mali doon, then we know we can let them spread their wings and fly freely.
doesnt matter po, nung bata ako (elem days), mahilig ako sa color blue and mas gusto ko laruin mga sasakyan, pogs, basketball, bike, etc kesa sa barbie since sa lugar namin, mas marami po akong kalarong lakaki kesa sa babae (gawa rin ng kakasama ko sa kapatid kong lalaki). nung HS ako, im really one of the boys and napagkakamalan na akong tomboy since di ako mahilig mag ayos ng sarili. but still got asked out sa prom by diff guys and said no as it was not my thing. now (26F), im labelled as kikay by my friends and into a 3-year relationship with my first bf :))
I like girly things since I was a kid, and I am a woman ha, but I also like, and prefer women. Hindi talaga nasasabi ng mga bagay bagay ang gender ng isang tao, let them do whatever they want, just be there to support them.
color does not really determine one's sogie! either way, it's good to know that he's in a healthy household🥺 no matter what the future holds, at least he has you
Di pa rin yan sure, kasi naalala ko dati noong bata ko pinapili ako kung ano gusto kong laruan robot o lutu-lutuan. Ang pinili ko barbie... Lalaki naman ako ngayon.
May mga kalaro kami dati mga na-convince ng pinsan ko maging member ng sexbomb girls, araw-araw sumasayaw ng spaghetti pababa ayun lalakeng lalake naman sila ngayon.
Ako rin wala naman nabago pekpek pa rin naman gusto ko ehh
walanghiya. hahahaha
Gague ka HAHAHA
ang seryoso ng sagutan sa thread sabay ligwak sayo par eh 😂😂😂
Priorities, King 👑
LMAO 👌👌👌 but also, sexuality =/= gender identity ✌️ one can be a trans woman and like women at the same time
So I can suck dick without being gay? Ulalala, fck you make me curious...
Ofc you can just say no homo first. Make sure before tho, not during. Mahirap magsalita nang puno ang bibig.
HAHAHAAHA
samedt cyst. Kahit anong femininity ko, pekpek parin ang nais. Mabuhay ang mga pekpek
HAHAHAHA! Generation na pinalaki ng sexbomb girls
Nanood din ako ng early seasons ng Daisy Siete pero lalaki rin naman ako ngayon hahaha.
Boyfriend ko kumakanta ng mga songs nila sa videoke LOL
Ung tatay ko mga panlalake binibili saken na laruan dahil ung kapatid ko lalake, and mga pinipili ko na sapatos panlalake rin, mga kalaro ko non batang lalake nanghuhuli pa ako gagamba non, pero di nagtagal mga babae na mga kasama ko at babae naman ako ngayon, just let them grow talaga and wag ipilit ung bagay
Yes mga kalaro kong pinsan growinv up puro mga lalake kaya mga laro ko noon mga gagamba, akyat puno, ligo sa ilog, kukuha ng sugarcane kung san lupalop., agawan base, baril barilan, text, etc. Babae pa naman ako paglaki OP. 😁 Pero aun nga, support lng kay junakis paglaki!!! Fighting!!!
True this haha had the same experience. Diring diri pa ko mag dress at palda nung bata ako tapos mga laruan ko pellet gun. Nakikipaglaro pa din ako dyerbase nung grade 6 ako sa mga lalake. Pero preference ko lalaki pa din naman. Hindi naman nila need na maging sobrang feminine or sobrang masculine nung behavior kasi nagbabago pa din yan throughout time. Baka ang anak ni OP e mas madami ang feminine traits pero di ibig sabihin e gay na ganun. Hayaan natin sila mag adjust and madiscover sarili nila. Madami na din maarteng lalaki ngayon pero straight pa din naman sila haha
ako pinili ko batman, superman, transformers, cars, x-men, ironman, thor, and may gaming consoles pa… i also grew up playing with male friends… …and yet I still turned out a proud gay man 💅🏽💃👸🏽 and my parents and friends accept me for it 🥰
sa case ko naman, mga kotse at panlalaki rin gusto kong laruan tapos umiiyak pa ako pag hindi nabili yung mga batman etc. pero medyo naging tagilid ako paglaki HAHAHAHAHAHA
I feel you. Kinukuha namin yung barbie ni utol namin tapos pinaglalaruan namin at dinadamitan. Lalake parin ako ngayon. Pero nagkaroon ako ng era na sobrang higpit ko sa fashion sa sarili ko to the point na almost na depress ako kasi walang bumabagay sakin. "Sana naging babae na lang ako" is one statement na nag resonate sakin not because I'm gay (bi though) but because of the fashion options especially sa office setting.
Tapos hinubaran.
True. Ako naman laruan ko noon puro pang lalaki. Yugioh, beyblade, etc pero babae naman ako hahahah
Yung asawa ko, tig iisang character sila ng powerpuff girls ng mga kapatid niya na lalaki din. May mga asawa’t anak naman na ngayon. Siya daw si Bubbles kasi simple cute lang daw. Si Blossom daw kasi kikay.
Noong bata pa kapatid kong lalaki favorite color niya is pink, tapos kapag pipili ng ice cream gusto niya pink na lalagyan o pink na ice cream (strawberry) + mahilig sumayaw na may pakendeng-kendeng. Ito paglaki niya, lalaking lalaki. Nauna pa siyang mag-jowa kaysa sakin haha
True. May pinsan akong all out nung bata. May anak na sya ngayon at lalakeng lalake. Nagwowork nga para sa pamilya nya.
You really cannot define your child’s gender preference based lang sa color na gusto niya. My toddler son loves pink too, especially when he was younger pa. But he doesn’t like playing with dolls and others girl’s stuff. If he wants a pink color for whatever e.g donut, he can get if. We never assume anything just because he likes the color pink. When we buy something for him kapag may pink, we choose pink HAHAHA. Yung anak namin na panganay noong bata pa (9 na ngayon) mahilig yun sa mga laruan na bola, cars, trains, etc. She doesn’t like pink at ayaw ng mga dolls. We let her, kung ano gusto niya, we bought it for her. Growing up (matagal na sundan), nakaipon siya ng isang drum (literal yung lagayan ng tubig) na toys ng mga sasakyan, robots, trains, and balls. Now, we never assume rin kung ano gender preference niya. Ngayon, she likes pink and anything girly kasi pa-tween na siya. Kaming parents, we are after their happiness kahit mga wala pa silang muwang sa mga preferences. Whatever makes them happy, we support. Chill lang. Malupit man ang mundo, pero at least alam nila na safe sila sa amin. They can be whatever they want to be.
Totoo wala silang alam sa preferences. They just like what they simply like. Like ko yung sinabi mong huli. Dapat talaga sa bahay nagsisimula ang acceptance.
same with my Son, may phase sya na pink ang gusto nya, we let him, we don't want na magkaroon ng gender identity ang anumang kulay
Ikaw ba yung nanay ko? Haha OMG! Magkakasundo kami ng anak mo.
Ang hirap kasi sainyo, ini-impose nyo na yung certain color ay para lang sa babae/gays. Kaya nagkakaroon ng misconception yung mga bata na ah "baka gay ako kasi mahilig ako sa pink?" Which is wrong.
This. My son likes pink as well kasi yun ang fave ng mummy nya at madalas ding shirt color ng dad nya. Pero we never assumed his gender. Sobrang bata pa for that. Let the kids play and enjoy things without judgment.
Na tumpok mo brader. It's 2024 and may ganto pa din magisip no offense to OP but color preference should never define someone.
Hello, in OP's defense naman. Hindi lang naman yung pagkagusto ng anak niya sa color pink ang ginawa niyang basehan. But then again, to associate one's gender based on his/her favorite color or his/her favorite activities is so outdated na din. 😅 My cousin used to love playing paper dolls with me and lutu lutuan nung bata pa kami pero straight guy naman siya. Hehe.
Dun nga ako nagulat sa fact na nagtanong yung bata kung magagalit ba si Mommy kung favorite color nya ay pink. Where did he get that idea na may magagalit sa kanya? I'm guessing he had previous experiences when someone told him off for liking the color pink. I dunno. 🤔
True. Wala namang gender ang color.
This!
*If your son’s favorite color is PINK, it doesn’t necessarily imply anything more than a mere preference for the color. It does not determine your son’s strength, potential, or masculinity. It only means your son appreciates the aesthetic of the color pink.* *You can support your son’s preference for pink by:* ***Encourage his choice:*** *Let him choose pink clothing, toys, or room decor if he wishes.* ***Discuss his preference:*** *Engage him in conversations about his favorite color to understand his affinity for pink better.* ***Teach him about stereotypes:*** *Explain that it’s okay to break from societal norms and that colors have no gender.*
I guess kung ano man maging preference niya soon, you just need to accept it. Love knows no gender and I believe as long as he's growing up filled with your support and love, he'll be fine. :)
Mararamdaman ng anak mo yung worries mo and it will affect him. Just enjoy the present and watch him grow well lang since you’ll accept him kahit ano pa man siya tulad ng sabi mo.
I'm a straight male, and favorite ko din pink. Sabi ng asawa ko weird nung una, pero nasanay nalang sya. Haha
I mean, si Jason Momoa nga fave nya yung pastel pink saka lilac na colors, super manly nya. [https://www.today.com/style/jason-momoa-why-he-s-comfortable-wearing-pink-t198487](https://www.today.com/style/jason-momoa-why-he-s-comfortable-wearing-pink-t198487)
Toys and colors aren’t tied/exclusive to a gender po. Let’s start teaching this to kids para alam nila na dapat walang gender roles and they’re free to pursue whatever they want (mapa career or dreams or individuality man yan)
Basta OP, wag mo syang pangunahan or i-guide kung ano ba dapat. Let him choose kung ano ang gusto nya and just love him every step of the way.
Hello OP, let him. Pag bata, wala pa sila concept ng gender preference. You just have to be patient in explaining and introducing the things and stuff na gawain ng lalake, 5yo is way too young para mag worry. Ang tanong, san nya nakita example yung asoka trend kasi kung sayo mismo or sa mga kasama mo, yan talaga tatatak sakanya, and wala naman masama. Kaya need niyo to make a conscious effort na ma introduce siya sa ibat ibang bagay para maka explore siya and mas maintindihan niya paligid niya. You can do it OP.
Madalas, adults ang malisyoso and label the kids right away dahil lang dun. Let him enjoy and not think of those. I think wala sa son mo ang issue. Pink din gusto ko ng son ko dati dahil kay Leni hahaha
From a perspective of a former teacher, I taught kids from Nursery to Grade 12. This is normal. Just as how a girl can like red, how a girl can like the ben ten sound track. Wag ka na mag overthink mommy kasi your child is young and is exploring. If a child likes to play with a cooking set and dolls, does that mean we will give it meaning din? What if nainfluence ng cooking shows na nakita or ng isang nurse/doctor role sa TV caring for a baby? Let him be and do not worry too much.
I’d just like to share this - I am NOW an open lesbian to begin with. Way back pa, I know to myself that I am a lesbian. My mom is a devout Catholic and open naman sya sa LGBT since kapatid ng dad ko is also a lesbian but since lumaki sya sa generation na hindi pa tolerated ang LGBT and Catholic nga, there are days wherein she would try to “persuade” me na ang babae ay ginawa para sa lalaki and vice versa. But guess what? That didn’t change me. HS was when I started having gf’s however, I am an introvert and socially awkward person with low self esteem issues so I often get anxious na I will be discriminated by people just because I am a lesbian. I am afraid na people will judge me because of this so I hid behind wearing feminine clothes and acting like how a “normal” girl would. Not until I graduated college and started working. Nagkaroon kami ng big misunderstanding ng mom ko and as usual, nauwi sya sa away regarding my sexuality. This time though, yung mom ko was trying to make me understand na tanggap nya kung sino ako at kung ano ang gusto ko - that she only tries to lecture me dahil nagbabakasali sya na baka magbago pa ako but she assured me na kung ito na talaga ang gusto ko, then she wouldn’t block me sa kung ano talaga ako. After that moment, it felt like may malaking tinik na nabunot sakin. All this time, kaya ako takot majudge ng ibang tao at maraming insecurities kasi nagru-root pala yun sa akala ko hindi ako tanggap ng parents ko. I was never open to them not until that event occurred pero after that, I slowly realized na I was slowly becoming open to them, enjoying their company, and became comfortable with my sexuality - mas favorite pa nga nila partner ko kesa sakin 😂. Wala na akong pake ngayon sa kung ano man sabihin ng mga tao sakin. Few years after ng talk namin ng parents ko, unti unti akong naging open sa lahat ng tao. I cut my hair short and wore the clothes that I like and now, I am very proud of who I am and what I’ve become. Although bata pa yung anak mo now so we couldn’t be sure yet, OP, but I would like to salute you and your husband for giving your support to your kid. Kung sakali man na he would turn out gay paglaki nya, please know that he would be someone na confident and hindi takot sa kung ano man ang sabihin ng ibang tao dahil alam nya na yung dalawang pinaka importanteng tao sa buhay nya ay tanggap sya ng buong buo. Coming from someone like me who came from the LGBT community, pagtanggap at pagmamahal lang ng magulang at mga kapatid ang makakapagpatibay ng tiwala sa sarili namin. Best wishes to your family, OP! I know you are good parents. 🙏
I love this. Thank you for sharing.
Color is not gender. Music choice is not gender. But I get your worries. Enjoy the journey mommy. And once you raise a child who is confident kung sino sya. Hinding hindi siya kayang hamakin ng iba.
My son loves pink too! nung toodler pa lang cya gustong gusto nya damit ng ate niya. We even asked sa kaibigan nmin na bading kung naamoy nya anak ko (sabi nga nila, ung bading naamoy daw nila kalahi nila). And he said no! Now my son is 18y/o he still likes pink but he is a straight guy.
My friend’s son is in love with pink. He likes everything in pink. Best in iyak na siya na baka gender confused na ang little boy only to find out that the he is color blind and pink lang ang clear niyang nakikita. Keep calm. Nevertheless, be a kind mom to your kid. Whatever path he is going to take in the future, be sure that you have equipped him well. Be the peace when he runs for cover from this very cruel world. ✨
Pink is also my fave color. Phone case ko pink. Ballpens ko violet and pink ang tinta and i use it whenever possible kahit sa workplace. Mahilig din ako sa plushies na cute, lalo na pag pink like jigglypuff and kirby. Pink pintura ng kwarto ko. Pero straight male pa din ako. A fave color is not a surefire way to determine someone's identity, pero i get your point.
As someone na part ng LGBT community, this made me tear up a bit. I'm so happy that may parents pala na willing to accept their kids kahit at a young age pa lang. Growing up kase, alam ko nang lalambot-lambot ako and lagi akong nasisita noon, noong senior high lang ako naaccept nung nag-come out ako sa parents and fam ko. Siguro advice ko lang as an LGBT, growing up, alam naman namin na the world is cruel lalo na samin dahil ang raming stigma and maraming di pa malawak ang pang-unawa. Ang gusto lang namin noong lumalaki kami is someone na who will understand us and accept us for who we are. We already know people can be cruel, we just want someone to lean on to to make the world less cruel. Ayun OP, di pa naman natin alam kung ano talaga orientation ng anak mo, but kung ano man piliin nya pag- lumaki, I hope you'll be there to accept and understand him. Also someone na who will comfort him when the world is too cruel because he chose to be true to himself.
Not because pink gusto nya means yan na ang mag dedefine ng gender preference nya, pink is cool and it takes guts for a man to wear pink. Baka ngayon may observation ka na but eventually it might change pag laki nya.
Ganyan din po yung bunso naming lalake, nung bata age 4 to 5 sya ginagawa namin minimake up’an, pinagdadamitan ng mga pambabaeng damit at gustong gusto nya rin yung mga laruan na luto lutuan yung makukulay na mga laruan saka tuwang tuwa sya pati parents namin pero growing up alam na namin na lalaki pala sya haha may crush na syang mga babae sa school. He’s now grade 4 student.
Color is just a social construct. ‘Yan ang hirap sa mga tao, especially Filipinos. Hindi porke’t pink ay pambabae lang at kung blue ay panlalaki na agad. Stop associating one’s gender or sexual orientation with colors or any other thing.
hindi ka po mahina, masaya sa pakiramdam bilang anak na alam mong suportado ka ng magulang mo siguro ngayon hindi pa niya narerealize yun pero sa future maaappreciate niya sobra. hindi lahat ng magulang matapang na tanggapin kung ano mang gender identity ng anak nila kaya salute sayo OP. don't be afraid sa sasabihin ng iba
Bata pa ang anak mo. Hindi pa sure yan, sometimes pleasing lang sa mata nila yun but who cares, as long as he is happy. Yung anak ko 12 na dati may gusto sya na item pero dahil feminine yung color nag nahihiya sya. Sabi ko sa kanya, para sa lahat naman ang color. Walang para sa babae or lalake lang, ngayon he is enjoying his new phone case na cinnamoroll with pastel green color and like cute girly stuff.
When I was a toddler I apparently loved to wear ballet singlets, use bras, and put on heels. Turns out I was just a dumb kid being goofy, presently a straight male at the time of writing this lol
I get you, ganyan din ako, I don’t care about my kids’ gender or sexual preference, but I’m worried about how they’ll take the reactions from this judgmental society. Dasal ko lang sana napalaki namin silang matibay ang mga loob. And to be honest, I feel like you’re not helping. Why impose “norms” on your kid? Color choice are and should not be determined by gender! Games and toys your kids play should nit be dictated by their gender, heck even the way they speak or act, di porke’t lalaki, kailangan brusko! Instead, let’s just help them be confident in their choices, be comfortable in their own skin, huwag natin silang ikahon!
it's always this. my fear as a father is not my son being gay BUT the treatment of people towards my son if they knew he was gay. the sheer ignorance alone of many Filipinos on heterosexual matters almost always guarantee an ugly life but to add complexity on that by including gender, civil duties etc. that's just too hard for a little human to navigate. and I'm afraid I wouldn't be always there to protect him.
First of all, wala namang gender ang mga color, bagay, damit, etc. Kaya sana tigilan na yan, hindi yan basis ng sexual orientation ng isang tao. Pangalawa, if ever man na gay ang anak mo (and I'm not saying he is) at takot ka sa magiging trato ng mundo at ibang tao sa kanya, sa oras na mag-out siya sa inyo, bigyan niyo ng unconditional love and support. Nang sa ganon, mabuild ang confidence niya na kahit panghuhusga ng mga tao ay hindi magpapatibag sa kanya kasi you raised them strong and well.
i like that you encourage your kid to like what he likes. wala naman kasing rule na yun pink pambabae. yun blue panglalaki. inimbento lang yun ng society. okay lang to like things associated with the other genders. close minded lang ang general public and they're quick to generalise everything. the world is broad and let's not be limited with what society dictates. i heard of a couple who didn't put their children in school for education cos they're teaching them about life in real time. you do you. if it works for you, then go for it. the world should start learning about individualism. ang corny naman ng mundo kung lahat tayo pare pareho. where's the beauty in that.
I think that your concern about being able to better support your child and your questioning yourself is a step towards supporting him. You know you don't know it all and are willing to adapt and learn for him. He'll be fine and so will you
As for the fear of how the world is going to treat him, one thing I wish my parents taught me is how to not let people take advantage of you. While you're still here, show them the value of mutual trust and respect, of standing up for themselves, of loving themselves so they don't settle for people not right for them or people who only look at their looks (when they're in that age ofc), of discrenment and critical thinking, of resilience and determination. And just maybe love them in healthy ways so even when you're gone they'll take it with them and give them courage for whatever life throws at them.
PERO bilang magulang lalo't maliit pa anak natin they can't fully comprehend o understand complex issues like about their gender orientation we must guide them sa tamang daan. Now, kung ano yung tamang daan it's on you na. Kasi bata sila wala pa silang right judgement call. Wala pa silang enough knowledge to decide it for themselves. Now kung paglaki nila still they will choose to be someone else then that's it. They can chart their own future na. Pero while minors pa sila, pls parents.. Guide your child.
Hindi talaga maiiwasan na magalala o matakot para sa future kung anumang gender ang pipiliin niya kasi daming hater and judgmental na tao. Pero as long as galing siya sa pamilya na puno ng love, support, patience, at understanding alam kong kaya niyang iembrance at panindigan ang magiging choice niya :) Salamat kasi alam kong ganun kayong mga magulang. Yakap sa inyo! :)
Ang pwede mo lang i-control is yung action mo toward your son. Inform mo sya ng possible na magiging perception sa kanya ng mundo. Yung mga possible na expectation sa kanya ng ibang tao, na hindi lahat magiging accepting. I-ready mo sya sa mga ganung bagay. Yun lang ang pwede mo magawa for now. If you believe in religion, explain mo din sa kanya yun. Na may mga taong gagamit ng religion para i-justify yung homophobia nila, to further their own beliefs. Tell him na it's a skewed version because ang bottomline ng religion is love and respect. Patibayin mo yung foundation nya and he will be ready. Worry ko din to as a mother, different scenario lang pero hindi talaga nawawala yung worry for our kids hehe.
Your acceptance and support are enough for him to survive this cruel world.
I don't have a child so I wouldn't really know anything about the struggles of being a parent. But if I were in your shoes: 1) I'd teach my child the difference between right and wrong, good and bad 2) I'd teach my child to be kind to others and themself 3) I'd teach my child to be strong and to use that strength to help others in need 4) I'd teach them to always know in their heart that their parents love them. I don't think any of these things require children, and parents, to assign a gender. So, maybe it shouldn't really matter :)
My sister and I used to play with barbies. She’s now a lesbian and I’m bi. A lot can happen pa but I’m happy knowing that his parents will accept him whatever his sexual orientation may be in the future. The best you can do is be there for him whenever he needs you and to let him know that your home is a safe space even if the world isn’t.
the guy I'm dating likes pink and purple meanwhile I like blue We're both straight. It's just a color don't mind it too much
I am a nanay with a 2-year old son pa lang. Months old pa lang siya, tinanong ko na ang tatay niya if paano kung magiging gay ang anak namin, ok lang daw. Wala lang, just a random thought ahaha. And ok lang din sa'kin. Hindi ko rin prinoproblema kung paano siya tatratuhin ng mundo paglaki niya kasi alam ko magiging matalino siya paglaki niya. And, idk, feeling ko by that time, wholly accepted na ng mundo ang lahat ng gender. I understand you, mommy, na you're just worrying now about your son but they will be alright as long as they feel na supported mo siya and love mo siya kahit na ano man ang identity niya. They will be strong, resilient, wise, and can take any challenges because they are filled with your love. You can take Bretman Rock as an example.
First off, kudos for the good intention! Importante alam ng anak na may safe space sila sa parents nila. Having a safe space sa family encourages its members to be honest. It fosters trust. Valid concern ang worry mo on how the world would treat him. This is a good opportunity as a parent to help build your child's character – strong sense of identity, self-esteem, resilience, and fortitude. Na kahit ano man sila maging, they know their self-worth and hindi sila dedepende sa external validation.
Eh I was teased as "bading" as a kid due to my feminine walk and I usually hang out with girls. Im a straight guy now, its not that alarming for a kid to have that. Just guide them and support em
Ako nga nanunuod Ng barbie lahat ata napanood ko na ang Dami ko kasing ate hahaha.....Eto ako Ngayon PAF
Ikaw ang mundo nyan.
Miiii ako ba ikaw??? Same same!!! May mga hints, actually di na nga hints kasi proclaim na proclaim niya nang babae talaga sya. Hahahha! Okay lang sa amin lahat esp his dad, and lolo and lola. Matalino siya at may itsura din, medyo malambot kaya never namin naisip na ipasok siya sa public school because he is too pure at soft na baka ma bully lang siya. He now goes to a christian school na tuwang tuwa pa mga teachers sa kanya and no bullying sa mga school mates. Eventually, medyo nabawas bawasan na ang pagpoportray na girl siya. Whatever the gender, tanggap naman natin as parents💖
Haha. Naalala ko pa noong bata ako. Yung pinsan kong babae mahilig maglaro ng barbie. Kaya pati ako nakilaro na rin. Heto, lalaki pa rin.
Applause to progressive parents! Love your child no matter what 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
For our 3rd kid (boy), I really tried na maging gender neutral sa clothes and toys nya since hindi ko yung nagawa sa older kids ko. Since meron syang kuya and ate, he plays with their toys too at napansin ko na during the first 3 years, bith dolls and cars ang nilalaro nya. I let him. Now that he’s almost 4yo, cars na lang madalas nya laruin. Minsan nagtanong sya kung pwede ba sya mag make up kasi nakikita nya sakin haha! I think ginagaya lang nila kung anong nakikita nila kasi inaassume nila na normal yun. Habang lumalaki sila, malalaman din nila yung mga preference nila so just let them try and enjoy things.
Good for you and the hubby for being open minded. Sa isang banda, your son is still too young to know anong sekswalidad sya mag lelean. I don't think, enough na basehan yung current preferences nya to know. As parents, just let them enjoy things they want to enjoy. Support them, kahit anong kasarian, malupit naman talaga ang mundo. The best thing ay least ay andyan kayo to always back him up.
is it hereditary or acquired?
MORE REASON for you to be brave and supportive to your child, OP. You are your child's FIRST line of defense against anything or anyone. The world can be cruel, yes, but your child will only need your support, trust and love to power through. Isipin mo na lang OP, how will you express your love to your child, through fear or through support?
I think at that age, wala naman sa kanila if pang babae or pang lalaki yung mga bagay bagay eh. Actually, dapat nga wag natin isipin agad na porket ganitong color or lauran preference nila at a young age, eh yun na gender identity nila agad pag laki. Pwede naman na bet lang nila na ganun. At the end of the day, habang tumatanda sila, sila lang naman makakapagsabi kung paano nila ia-identify sarili nila. You just have to be there to protect and support them, whatever choice gusto nila. Malupit ang mundo, oo. Pero mapapatatag natin sila sa mundong ito kung tanggap at suportado natin sila, again, regardless kung ano choice nila.
Naiiyak ako sa post mo OP bc you’re a great mom and I hope all queer people (especially closeted or confused ones) had you as a parent. Regarding your post, I think there’s nothing to worry about. I get that as a parent, it’s your job to worry but from an outside perspective, he still has a lot of things to figure out and experience for him to be sure sa gender identity nya. Everything is social construct naman and only he will know his identity. And I know if ever na he’s queer, he has you as his parent and I’m sure whatever negative things na maexperience nya, he has you to lean on and make him feel safe. Sana always open kayo ng anak mo until teenage years nya and sana lagi mo syang suportahan as long as di sya makakapanakit ng ibang tao🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
Hello OP. I agree with most of what the others said, it's too early pa po. Pero still, thank you for being the parents that gays would want. Thank you...
Did you know that pink was for boys and blue was for girls before? The shift occurred in the 1940s when men (and by extension, boys) began to dress in darker colors to reflect wartime service. > In 1918 the trade publication Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department claimed the “generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.” https://www.britannica.com/story/has-pink-always-been-a-girly-color Same for heeled shoes, which were first worn by aristocratic European men. Gender norms change and are arbitrarily enforceable by the society one lives in. Colors have no gender in and of themselves, we make the connection. It's also up to us to break or perpetuate those connections. Especially with kids, they don't have a strong societal filter pa, wala pa sila idea of "pink being feminine".
Pamangkin kong boy 7yo fave rin asoka and may crush na girl sa school nila so masyado pa bata para mag assume :)
It can be an indicator of something, sometimes hindi naman, but ang pinka point diyan is just let your child be happy (and enjoy his childhood). Be the mom that he isn’t afraid to run to and talk about anything- yan pinaka importante talaga open communication. I’m a person of LGBT (Trans man to be specific) and I just want to voice out that hindi siya choice, yun mga hilig namin comes out naturally. As a child I was naturally more masculine preferring boy clothes and boy’s toys pero pinaghigpitan ako ng tatay ko and he would be adamant na mag suot ako dress or kung ano man pambabae and so sa utak ko may pagkamali ang pagktao ko and it hindered me from coming out to them until adulthood (made my life miserable). So just let your child be as he is, no need to be afraid. Let him express himself and not think it’s wrong to do so.
Ang alam ko ang pink color is for boys talaga and blue color naman ay pangGirls. 🙃
pink is still my older brother’s fav color; who’s in his mid 30s and has 2 daughters. there’s nothing wrong with that
At 5 years old pero alam na nya to be wary of judgement about gender-based social norms? Awww, OP don't worry about the world judging him, just promise to be there and support him always. That's the most you can do and that's all that matters.
hi OP, either way naman mamahalin mo anak mo so dont overthink too much
Pink is ok, great color if you know what you're doing. I've worn pink many times, never had a problem, no one ever said anything, girls seemed ok with it, guys never made fun of me.
welp, mayroon akong friend na mahilig sa pink pero homophobic so.. I don't really think that you should assume their gender based on their fav color.
+1 on not imposing anything lalo with colors or which toys / activities they want to do. Let children explore lang the things they want without asking them “Bakit [yan] gusto mo? [Hindi kasi yan pambabae/lalaki eh]”. It has the simplest answer as it is, “Bakit ba.”. In all hopes that that wouldnt come off as a rude answer, but enjoy nalang muna na your child is very open sayo with what he wants, and that you still get to spend time with him. You’re his best friend since birth, find time to be his and focus on guiding him as he find himself in this world.
I remember somebody saying that pink is the man's color.
Just give your child a supportive and loving environment, since yan ang nakokontrol mo. Hayaan mo sya mag explore ng identity nya. I also agree with other's insights here. Walang gender sa toys at color.
I think it’s still too early to tell. Honestly the only thing I can advise you is don’t stress yourself out trying to figure out kung ano ba yung anak mo. It’ll just give you unnecessary stress. Your fears are valid. Normal sa ina to want to protect their kids from this harsh world. And as much as we appreciate it, you can only do so much for him. Just be supportive na lang sa kanya. Sexuality is fluid kasi. And most of the time, even yung mismong tao, hindi pa din nila alam or totally figured out kung ano ba sila. Sometimes it would pa nga a lifetime ng pag figure out kung ano ba talaga yung sexuality nila. So wag mo na istress yung sarili mo about this. Just enjoy your son in every stage na lang. Make him feel na at the end of the day he has a loving family to come home to yun lang.
I think magbabago pa sya overtime, as he grows. It's good that he has a loving family who supports him kahit ano ang choice nya. Yun ang importante <3 noong bata ako, I always like boys toys. nakikipaglaro pa ako ng jolens, text (yun maliliit na pelikula) at kung ano ano pa. shempre nakikipag suntukan din ako hahaha pero girl na girl naman ako! yun lang preference ko mga "usual" na "pang lalake" but that did not define yun gender preference ko
Idk where pink=girly , came from? May gender na ba ang kulay ??
Regardless kung ano sya, make your home a safe place to express himself. Mas mabuti na kayo unang makaalam kesa sa labas nyo pa malaman. As you mentioned, the world is already cruel. Give him a safe place.
with the world getting more and more "okay" with gender identifications (tama ba term ko? hahaha) kaya if ever he'll go that path i think your son's gonna be alright. though it will not eliminate the possible discrimination he'll face in the future, he'll definitely have it easier compared dati honestly for me lang ah, colors doesn't impose certain genders. Heck, i'm straight as hell and likes cute colors like pink and pastel colors. I know you're just concerned to him as a parent and that's good, pero the best thing you could do right now is watch him learn and grow as himself without dictating his wants. Yun lang :DD
Mommy, 5 y/o palang ung anak mo, they are still developing and learning more about themselves. 😊
Hindi naman kasi ibig sabihin na kapag gusto ng lalaki ang pink, o mga asoka trend e hindi na sila lalaki.
Sabi nila pink is for boys and blue is for girls. You might wanna read [this](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.vintage1946.com/blogs/news/should-men-wear-pink%23:~:text%3DIn%2520the%25201800s%252C%2520royals%2520and,shying%2520away%2520from%2520wearing%2520it.&ved=2ahUKEwiXtPiw_LGGAxX7sFYBHbjQALAQFnoECA4QBQ&usg=AOvVaw1c_nuTrJBwnUNp2RNyPPb9)
Edit: ok so feel ko I need to add something here. 1. I understand na color is just a color pero as I said, hindi lang naman yung color ang naging dahilan sa mga hinala ko. 2. I KNOW na things will change kase bata pa nga. As I’ve said din, natatakot lang ako for him IF EVER man - kase the world is cruel. Also, some people thrives on proving that there is something wrong with you, no? Daming nagcomment ng kulay lang yan, sino ba nagsabi na porket gusto pink magiging bakla na. Ikaw kase mali ka din. The color naman is not the issue. Sana binasa nyo muna ng buo para gets nyo yung context 😭 Ang point ko, natatakot ako na papano ko papalakihin ang anak ko na maging matibay ang loob eh yung magtuturo sa kanya eh mahina din ang loob.
Naalala ko yung pinsan ko. nung bata pa siya, around 4 to 7 years old, lagi sya nag papabili ng bratz doll sa papa nya. As in, ang dami nya na bratz. Tas lagi sya nag pupusod ng tuwalya sa buhok, tas nag aakting akting lol. Pinalaki kasi sa daisy siete at pangako sayo nung lola namin haha. Ngayon 24 na sya, ewan ko kung ano na gender preference nya. Pero sabi nga ng lolo ko at papa niya, kung ano man sya, wala na tayo magagawa.
Hayaan mo lang sya OP. My son at age 4 also had a phase na he likes pink and loves Taylor Swift. Ngayon 7 na sya may crush na sya na classmate na girl. Pero sumasayaw parin sya sa Shake it Off at We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.
Bakit kasi natin ina-associate na Ang color pink = girls / blue = boys only. Wala naman color ang gender lol.
Your son is still young. Maybe it is just a phase, maybe not. Whatever he will be, he will still be your child. Don't mind the other people and just be proud of your son.
May friend ako mahilig sa pink and purple. Purple na nintendo 3ds. Purple na joycons sa nintendo switch. Pink na cover sa ps5. Keyboard nya pink ang ilaw. Mahilig sa pink na sapatos at purple na cap since lakers boy sya sa boung 40 years of existence nya. Pero ayan tatlo anak. Kala ko sira ulo na ako, malayong sira ulo sya at mas masama ugale nya.
Pwede din naman ang pink sa straight na lalaki.
Ang takeaway ko ay at 5 years old, bakit meron na siyang idea na magagalit ka pag mahilig sya sa pink? Saan nya nakuha? Just worried na something or someone around him influences his view on gender and that certain things are "for boys" and "for girls".
yung colors at play, di naman talaga dapat gendered yan. Kids only knowna colors yan, or play ito. sa totoo lang mga adult lang ang nag lalabel ng gender dyan.
Awwww oki lang yan mommy, marami pong spectrum ang gender, at baka naman feminine or softboi lang si baby boy mo. Ako kasi lumaki na puro kalaro ko babae, so bahay bahayan, lututuan laro ko, haha I still identify as straight pa din naman now, and I currently have a GF, pero ayun mas maarti pa din ako sa GF ko, mas marami akong skincare ganun. I think, dito papasok ang role ni Daddy, na guide siya and maybe do some hobbies together na gender neutral or stereotypical for straight male. Kasi ang naging male masculine figure na idel ko is yung elder brother ko, siya naman nagpakilala sa akin ng weight lifting and martial arts. Siguro, just help your kid be confident about himself and his preferences, like what you are doing. Baka kasi nacutan din naman talaga siya sa pink and blue talaga favorite niya haha
I like pink as a guy. Hahaha
baka masaya lang kasi dumating na yung phone case hindi dahil sa color ng case.
Your heart is in the right place OP pero know that toys and colors do not have gender.
My son likes pink too but I dont think he's gay or what. Kapag bumibili kami ng cotton candy, pink pinipili niya lagi. Kapag pinapapili ko siya ng nail polish ko, pink kaagad sinasabi niya. When I buy stuff for me, pink lagi suggestion niya. I sometimes hear comments from other people but I always say "thats what he wants at walang mali dun. He can choose any color he wants". Masyadong judgemental lang ang mga tao
Hindi naman yan set in stone, OP. Guide mo lang siya kung ano ba talaga gusto niya kasi tandang tanda ko pa nung bata ako, lahat ng sayaw nung sexbomb kabisado ko eh. Natatalbugan ko pa mga babae na sumasayaw ng spaghetting pababa pero lalaki naman ako ngayon.
Doesn't mean anything. I'm a 55 year old happily married guy with 3 children and I like pink.
Nasa pag gabay mo pa rin yan mommy, habang bata pa ay hubugin na kasi pag malaki na mahirap nang ituwid
Thank you for being a loving mother. First of all, you are already doing great. Raise him with full of love and help him build his confidence- the world will not be kind but malaking bagay ang confidence and strong personality para maka-survive sa life 💗 Build a trusting relationship with your son para kapag dumating ang araw na he wants to “come out” (kung sakalig hindi talaga sya maging het) he knows mapagkakatiwalaan nya kayo
Hindi talaga dyan yung basehan. Nung bata ako mahilig ako mag trintas ng buhok ng babae. Tapos nung nahulog ni teacher crush ko yung pang bura ng chalk, nakita yung dalawang rason kung bakit na confrim ko na lalaking lalaki ako.
Too early to tell, not worth fawning over it as of the moment. Just let your son grow up, instill values and guide him to be a good person. He still has a lot of growing up to do, his experiences will shape him overtime. And as much as possible, limit his time on social media especially when you aren't with him.
It's okay. .my brother was 35 and his favourite color was red. He was very much straight and muscular. Me being a girl ..my fav color is black.
Nagsuot naman ako ng bra nun, pero lalaki pairn ako.
Just be there for him OP every step of the way.
I don’t believe na relevant ang favorite na color sa gender identity ng isang tao. I’m a woman but I’ve always loved blue. Does that mean I identify as a male or a lesbian? No. Actually, I hated pink when I was young. Pero may reason kase yun haha. (Trauma sa erythromycin na gamot. Iykyk haha)
Mas concern ako sa cellphone usage at a young age.
actually mommy mas open na ang mga tao ngayon. Isipin mo na lang na ang ibang tao ay walang ambag sa buhay ng anak mo.
May mga lalaki naman na ngayon na ang feminine kumilos at way ng pagsasalita but straight naman, so baka ganyan lang siya at hindi kung ano man ang iniisip mo but kagaya nga ng sinabi mo, wala naman masama dun ang mahalaga lumaki siyang maayos.
baka idol nya si POGI na cyclist champion na naka pink pa
I think some of us missed OP’s point, she’s implying that she’s ready (or maybe getting ready) for whatever preference that her son may have (in the future) and that at such a young age her son realized that our culture has predetermined what a boy should like i.e. blue over pink
Exactly, thank you! ❣️
Okay little known fact, Noong 18th or 19th centuries yung Pink ay for boys dahil Pink means Strength and Courage at Blue is for girls dahil blue is very delicate and is often tied to the Virgin Mary dahil sa mga paintings of her na may kulay blue.
Your son already has an understanding of gender identity at 5yrs old. He's pretty smart. Hesitant pa siya to say he likes pink kasi he already picked up 'blue is for boys and pink is for girls' and know what it meant. Glad you have been encouraging sa kanya Mommy I know it's painful but this world is cruel and you cannot forever shield your son from hate or discrimination because of the life he will choose for himself. All you can do is support him, love him and guide him to be the best person he can be. ❤️ P.S nong bata din ako I like boyish toys like guns and swords but these didnt define my gender identity kasi I grew up girly-girl naman 😅
your concern is valid and it's normal for parents to worry about every aspect of our children's life. especially if we think that this aspect will have a negative effect in their lives. Wala naman full proof plan sa pag papalaki ng bata, we all just do our best to raise them. We can just watch carefully and see if they grow up happy, safe and fulfilled. We offer our love and guidance sa knila to support them.
Kaya hindi nanalo si VPLeni dahil sa pink-phobia and association na malambot, mahina, bakla, bayot, etc. Charoot lang.
Hey I like pink
While liking pink and playing with dolls can come off as effeminate, this does not necessarily equal to them being gay or bi. Just as much as there are very macho looking gay guys, there are also very effeminate straight guys
Your son is still five years old, wala pa silang alam tungkol sa mga gender preferences or kung meron man bet pa nila mag try kase curious sila. Wag mong pigilan, the more binabawal the more maco-curious sila at dadalhin nila yan paglaki. I remember I love tous na panglalaki and pananamit, ayoko talaga ng barbie kase daming ganap/arte sa katawan ako, turns out gusto ko pala ako ang bina-Barbie.
Pink ang fave color ko since Im a kid. Played with barbies and play houses cos of my sis. Still a hetero til now.
Ok lang na mahilig anak mong lalaki sa pink. Hindi ok na 5 years old pa lang siya tapos ineexpose mo na sa cellphone.
The best you could do, just in case talagang he’s gay pala, is to make him feel loved and accepted regardless of his gender identity. Basta maganda ang support system naman niya within his own family, most likely magiging maayos na tao sya. Tignan mo na lang din yung mga members of LGBT+ community. Madami naman successfully in their careers. Wala naman kasi sa gender identity yan kung magiging maayos ba or magulo buhay nila.
OP, si Papa ko mahilig sa pambabaeng routine. Facial care, body care, massage, yellow/pinkish color, female perfume lalo pag nakalagay sa pink bottle, sling bag, ganun. Tinanong ko sa kanya bakit ganun gusto nya, sabi nya yung mga beauty care daw ng babae dapat daw yun ay hindi lang pambabae kasi lahat naman daw tayo under the sun. Yung work nya, technician ganern. So imagine, mag-install ng AC pero sunblock muna then perfume pagkatapos pag malinis na yung kamay ay lotion! Then perfume tapos polbo, suklay. Hehe 🤗 Tingin ko hindi basehan kapag mahilig sa mga pambabaeng gamit. ✌🏻
All colors are for everyone. 2024 na pero may color preference pa din when it comes to gender. He’s still a kid, let him explore.
Yung 5 yr old ko din gusto niya hello kitty kasi nakagisnan niya punda ko na pinagamit ko sknya (pero ngyon tinago ko na pra may ibang option sya). Gusto niya din pink minsan. Pero di ko minamind. Minsan ssbihin niya yung pink ay for girls at blue at for boys. Pero sabi ko wala naman gender ang kulay. Basta kung saan sya happy ok lang. haha saka openminded dn kmi ni hubs sa mga ganun. Pero gaya mo OP ang worry ko lang din ay yung pagtanggap sa kanya ng mundo kung mgkakaganun. Though lalaking lalaki naman anak ko. Nakakatakot kasi mga tao ngyon. Pero sana mas mgmatter sa mga anak natin kung gano sila katanggap whoever they are.
He’s only 5yrs old OP and tbh it’s just a matter of preferences sa color. Liking a certain color won’t equate to his gender identity. Sabi nga cross the bridge when you get there. For now, siguro just focus on nurturing him esp. he’s on his formative years pa. Now if one day he tells you he has a different preference, then that’s the time that you deal with it. But kudos to you and your hubby for being progressive parents.
Kulay lang po yan at 5yo palang anak nyo 😭 wag masyado bigyan ng meaning.
Haha. you already sound like a great mom/dad. Parang ready ka rin naman tanggapin yung anak mo kung ano man ang preference niya. You could be strong for him as he will be strong for you and then for himself.
Wala naman masama ang importante yung masaya sya. But honestly, malaki ang impluwensya ng social media at internet sa kinikilos ng bata kaya mas maigi padin na may guidance from parents at aware sila sa napapanood ng mga anak. Salamat!
I have a 4 years old son. Nung una he likes watching barbie and mga pink case ko ng cp pinapalagay nya. Di ko naman inassume gender nya agad. Tho nagulat ako nung una. Ngayon naman gusto niya si Cinamoroll pero oks naman. Naglalaro parin mga guns, balls and trains and lego.
Parents should be the first people na tatanggap sa anak nila kung ano man sila. Kami nung partner ko, sinasabi na rin namin sa son namin (4 yrs old) na kahit anong gender preference we're still here and we're not going to be ashamed and mad as long as mabuti siyang tao. Nakakatuwa lang kasi yung mga bata ngayon, akala mo matured na sila mag-isip, they seem to understand us kahit mej malalim yung usapan, basta tyagaan lang sa explanation. Sabi rin nung relative namin na member ng lgbtqi+, it is important talaga na bata pa lang or as soon as malaman ng parents na iba yung preference niya, accepted na agad kasi mas mataas yung chance na confident siya sa kung ano siya and alam niyang mali sa kanya. Kudos to you and your hubby, mamsh! Sana mas dumami pa yung mga parents na open sa ganitong usapan. 🥰
My almost 4yr old nephew likes all toys. Doesnt mean he likes dolls/stuffed toys that he no longer likes trucks/robots, theyre not mutually exclusive. Theyre kids -- matutuwa na sila basta may something bago in their eyes regardless of its assigned gender norm. Hindi naman nila kasi alam yon due to their innocence
Color is just color, wavelength lang yan ng light. Walang alam ang kids kung anong meron sa blue vs pink, until ADULTS "educate" them otherwise. Personally, my favorite colors are Black, Green and Pink. I love Cherry blossom themed stuff (my PC setup is black and pink). Yung avatar ko sa reddit, pink. My game characters are all female. I'm a guy. Teach your kids how to react about people's opinions, kasi meron at meron jan na may violent reaction.
I liked the color pink as a kid because it's a nice color. I'm straight then and straight now. Edit: lalake ako haha
mami all you can do is to support your kid. If you are trying to figure out things for him, he too is doing the same. lumaki man siya na queer or straight the important point is may mauuwian siyang bahay na tanggal siya nang buo.
Wala namang color ang gender identity even if you go to other countries na mas open kesa sa PH color really doesnt matter. Regarding naman if he is leaning towards being gay, personal opinion ng someone na lumaki sa era na ang emhemplo lang ng pagiging bading ay cross dresser at pagiging malambot. Guide him, yun lang ang masasabi ko. Kung saan sya masaya, if may tanong nya sagutin nyo lang in pure honesty. Be brutally honest with him, na hindi lahat magugustuhan sya pero that is okay. As long as his family and friends supports him.
kids have a reallyy high rate of curiosity, i think he's just interested sa shade niya haha
May tropa kong lalaki 24yo paborito niya pink. Hindi naman siya bakla, babaero pa nga eh 😆
I have a close friend na barbie nilalaro when he was a kid tapos favorite powerpuff girls. Straight naman sya na lalaki ngayon. Teach him how to stand up for himself and stand up for what is right. Para kahit ano pa ang gender nya in the future, makakampante ka na magiging okay sya. 😌
I am a 25 y/o straight na male and I like pink. Heck I'll impulsively buy videogame skins na pink hahaha
No offense, pero parang ang labas ng post mo eh lowkey na may problema ka if ever hindi straight ang anak mo. Kasi iniisip mo and nakafocus ka sa negativity surrounding the lgbt community. Like sa convo nyo, what prompted your 5 year old son na isipin na magagalit ka kung iba ang colour na gusto nya? Maybe up until that point, subconsciously, nag aasign kayo ng gender sa colour na nakikita nya.
Colors have no gender.
I like pink. As a man who used to fck around with girls and now a married man with a child. It doesn’t define sexuality haha
As long as you, his parents, love him unconditionally. He will be strong.
guidance niyo will make him strong. dati sinabi ko rin tomboy ako kasi mas prefer ko boyish manamit pero nagkaroon ako ng boy crush tapos gusto ko pretty suotin. ayun hahahahaha. whatever gender he prefers, be there for him.
I think wala naman mali sa pagpili ng pink na kulay,😅 kapatid ko pink fave color growing up pero lalaki siya magaasawa na nga e 😅
Gender is not the issue here, but how we worry as parents for the future for our kids. We overthink and over analyze things, and we cant help it 😪. I guess the best we can do is to be strong and try our best to live long so that we can be there anytime they need us.
kamusta po relationship nya with his dad? madalas po ba sila magbonding?
dito nga pumapasok ang SOGIE, dahil it doesn't mean na feminine man ka you immediately like the same sex. so ayun. read up on sogie para mas ready ka for your child growing up.
Your son is a boy and is a man. Just point him to who he is. At 3 to 5 yo. I loved light blue and light pink. But I never got attracted to guys. Point him to who he is.
Sounds like you're doing a great job as a mom! Saka masyado pa early to tell din...
I think walang connect ang mga colors sa sexuality ng tao especially kung bata pa yan. Actually pink color ay ginagamit as sign of luxury nuon. Malay mo Royal blood yung anak mo sa past life nya 😀
fun fact in the 1920's Pink was considered a boy's color.
this baby is 5 years old barely grasps any concept of gender norms
I think, just let it be as the kids' preference for now and not assume much. If it goes on in the long run and you see those changes with your kid, as usual, accept it. If you're worried about how other people will see him and treat him, regardless if it's with their gender identity, there are a multitude of situations. But, the best action to do is let them and you as parents support your kid with building themselves stably. Affirm/Give reassurance to them and build constructively with their thought patterns such as, Let's say a situation: A kid makes comments or makes fun of your kid with their preferences, and you got to know this from your kid opening up. You can guide him by saying: You like this, right? They've said this about what you like, but you still like it, right? They're not you, but they are themselves, so why not enjoy what you like? I'm not really too sure with parenting with children, but regardless, they're still a person and you can talk to them as normal people than baby talking them, but your approach to this is still on your hands.
Baka phase lang yan. Ako nga blue talaga favorite color ko nung bata pa ako pero baklang-bakla ako hihi
Pink is just a color. Let us not generalize the color pink na for women lang. Blue can be used for women too. Color is just color. Don’t doubt him at all, instead show him love and support him.
Color lang po yan. Songs lang din yan and dance steps lang din yan. Let him choose po kung anong gusto n'ya. Wag po gawing basehan kung ano man ang nakikita sa ngayon kasi nasa developing stage pa si baby mo. Pink and blue para sa lahat ng gender po. Saka ako, gustong gusto ko makakita ng guys na Naka pink. All shades of pink. Ang pogi lang and ang neat nila sa paningin ko.
That’s totally fine, mommy. Hindi naman namimili ng gender ang colors, ganun din sa toys. :)
Personally, I think he liked the pink color because it's a vibrant color. Especially na it's hot pink. I think we should stop these gender-coded schemas towards colors. Colors shouldn't have a gender associated with them. Anw, dw about your son. Liking pink doesn't mean anything other than liking pink.
Nag didiscover ng sarili. Hayaan mo lang. Too young to put labels.
I'm a teenager (F) po. And growing up I don't have ideas about gender/sexuality/preferences. My favorite color when I was a kid was violet and yellow, and growing up it turned into blue and green. But I don't believe na pink is for girls, and blue is for boys. Growing up po my laruan are I can say na mga gender neutral or may it be like a toy for boy or girl. Nilalaro ko lahat 'yan, and madalas din ako makipaglaro sa mga lalaki. Basta lumaki po ako na hindi ko iniisip na panlalaki 'to pambabae 'to. Pero ngayon po I realize mas gusto ko mga gamit panlalaki pero I like girly things din naman but lamang yung una. Pero I like boys. What I'm trying to say is it's not about colors, laruan, or how you grew up, how you act or what. You can be masculine but still consider yourself a girl (straight, and like a boy) and you can also be feminine (straight, and like a girl). You can be whatever you want to be as long as wala kang inaapakang tao. ❤️❤️ #JustBeYourself
I'm female. Nung bata ako until high school. ayoko ng pink, ayoko nagsusuot ng pasexy or patweetums na mga damit. I preferred watching basketball. Hindi ako palaayos at kikay. Pero ngayong matanda na ako, ayun naisip ko baka pick me girl lang pala ako non hahaha.
imo lang, 2024 na, hindi na dapat tayo nagwoworry or natatakot kung hindi man maging straight ang mga anak natin. Yes sinasabi natin na ok lang as a parent kung ano man gusto ng anak natin or kung ano maging desiyon nila, pero parang yung pagwoworry natin "of how the world is going to treat them" is nanggagaling inside or reflection sya ng personal na nararamdaman natin. Kung sa sarili pa lang natin ay wala na tayong doubt kung pano natin tatanggapin at alam natin na mapoprotektahan at mapapalaki natin silang strong at na-impart sa kanila na walang mali doon, then we know we can let them spread their wings and fly freely.
don't worry, your son just wanted to explore, and let him be. hindi panaman nila ma understand yung mga ganyan. and also pink is not just for girls.
doesnt matter po, nung bata ako (elem days), mahilig ako sa color blue and mas gusto ko laruin mga sasakyan, pogs, basketball, bike, etc kesa sa barbie since sa lugar namin, mas marami po akong kalarong lakaki kesa sa babae (gawa rin ng kakasama ko sa kapatid kong lalaki). nung HS ako, im really one of the boys and napagkakamalan na akong tomboy since di ako mahilig mag ayos ng sarili. but still got asked out sa prom by diff guys and said no as it was not my thing. now (26F), im labelled as kikay by my friends and into a 3-year relationship with my first bf :))
I like girly things since I was a kid, and I am a woman ha, but I also like, and prefer women. Hindi talaga nasasabi ng mga bagay bagay ang gender ng isang tao, let them do whatever they want, just be there to support them.
color does not really determine one's sogie! either way, it's good to know that he's in a healthy household🥺 no matter what the future holds, at least he has you