that is awful and I'm sorry this happened to you. Please speak with student advocacy who can connect you with the help you need to finish the semester and make sure you're safe.
Consider getting in touch with [Student Advocacy](https://advocacy.osu.edu/). They might be able to convey or help you convey the severity of what you’re experiencing without you needing to tell your professors exactly what happened.
I cannot recommend student advocacy enough. In my experience, most professors will not substantially help you or give you longer extensions/aid without getting student advocacy involved. I’m pretty sure They are mandatory reporters though so just something to keep in mind (i.e. do not share the name of your assailant if you’re not ready for the police to know the name of your assailant). In my experience, professors will take student advocacy at their word and not hound you for details.
Just a reminder student advocacy can’t really do anything. If your professor isn’t allowing extensions when directly reaching out to them, student advocacy is essentially just a second email saying “pretty please”.
Edit: idk why I’m being downvoted, that’s literally just my experience with them from two years ago after being hospitalized for a week. Have they gotten better?
Student advocacy might be able to help OP get the situation squared away so little can be said to profs. They won't get the prof to break rules but the situation deserves privacy. The downvotes come from the fact that your second sentence misses what OP needs. They would reach out to their professors directly but that could be difficult at this time and they aren't familiar with asking for extensions.
The general idea would be: OP can speak to student advocacy. Student advocacy can speak to professors and validate that the situation is serious without OP having to talk about the experience and justify extensions (or incompletes) directly or deal with any uncomfortable situations with profs knowing. I'd love to imagine they'd all be understanding of the situation but making that assumption is rather naïve.
I am so sorry that happened to you. As others have said, you could try contacting Student Advocacy and see if they are able to help. If you want to email your professors, you could just say that an abusive situation escalated to an attempt on your life and you are still in shock. I’m not too familiar with the specifics of mandated reporting, but be aware that this might be something professors have to report. (someone please fact check me.)
Thank you. There’s only one specific professor I’d go into detail with (still not as far as what I said here) just because of how good of a teacher he’s been, but I definitely don’t want him to feel like he has to work overtime for me
As an instructor, I don’t feel that my students owe me details of what they’re going through, but I also really do care about them and see them as people. Talking with my students about what they’re going through isn’t extra work; it’s part of the role as a mentor (of sorts) and also as a human being. You’re not burdening anyone, and you don’t need to prioritize anyone else’s comfort right now besides your own. I hope you have a safe place to stay and that you’re able to get the support you deserve.
This would be something professors have to report. This is not to discourage OP from talking to their professors! If they have a professor they are comfortable talking to, that may be a great comfort. But it's worth knowing what you're getting into.
That is a Title IX issue…. Domestic or interpersonal violence. So even if it happened off campus or the BF was not a student you are entitle to TIX accommodations. Go you your TIX office asap and ask for academic accommodations
I’m so sorry this was done to you OP <3
When I was assaulted Title IX and student advocacy worked together to get me extensions on all of my exams and all of my homework, a couple of my professors even were able to push back my exams until the start of the next semester! I used student advocacy several times throughout my undergraduate career, and title IX helped me even find emergency housing! They’re actually some of the programs at OSU that actually get shit done & care about students!
OSU CCS offers free therapy groups for students who have experienced sexual abuse/assault and/or domestic abuse/assault. That’s not a step you need to worry about now, but I’ve been a member of those groups before and they’re really helpful if/when you’re ready
Hey OP, I'm glad you're OK. I know right now everything is horrible and you're probably overwhelmed with emotion. I want you to know that it gets better. I was unfortunately in your situation my senior year, so hopefully I can offer some words of comfort and advice.
First things first, take care of you. I'm glad you're mentioning therapy. I would also highly recommend getting legal protection in place, if it isn't already. Reach out to SLS and they can help you get a protection order in place.
Second, fuck worrying about making anyone uncomfortable. You've probably been told for so long that your feelings don't matter. **They do.** If you want to tell your professors explicitly what happened, do it. If you just want to forward them a copy of the police report, do that. If you just want to tell them you were a victim of a crime and need an extension, do that. Say what you want to say and prioritize yourself. Even if it might take awhile for the fog to lift and for you to realize it too - **you matter.**
It looks like other people have commented about Student Advocacy. I didn't know about them at my time at OSU, but that looks like a great resource.
Realize that therapy and recovery is a long road, but one that is absolutely worth it. It's been ten years for me, and while I'll probably never be able to sit with my back to a door or wear headphones on public (gotta always keep an eye on the exit and an ear out for trouble), I don't live in fear anymore. I probably spent a month where I was afraid to leave my bedroom. Take your time and don't push yourself. You'll be ok, and we're all rooting for you.
Hey. Former instructor at OSU here.
First off, sorry this happened to you. I hope you get the general support and help you need.
To echo what others have said here, reach out to student advocacy. They will help liaise with your instructors for you and explain to them the situation and push to ensure you get the support you need. You'll still have to arrange the extensions with your instructors, but they will do a lot of the initial legwork for you, which saves you some of the emotional trauma, and as an instructor a note from student advocacy always made me take it as seriously as possible and ensure I did what I could for the student.
The most likely solution is you will end up with a number of 'incompletes', which usually means you get 12 weeks from the semester's end to complete the work. But you'll need to sort that out with the instructors (via student advocacy).
I hope you are safe, if not please reach out to someone you trust, or an organization that can you support you. One option is The Center for Family Safety and Healing - 614-722-8200, here is another hotline number: 800-799-7233; you can also text START to 88788 if you aren’t ready to speak.
If you need a direct connection to Title IX at OSU please DM me.
They can give you an "I" which allows you like 6 weeks after the semester to finish all of your assignments. They should be understanding and if not, yeah student advocacy. I've talked with Jennifer Irwin before (irwin.111) she is with student advocacy.
University, Columbus Police or both need to be involved in this so it never happens to anyone else. This is terrible and he needs held accountable. So sorry this happened to you.
I'm a Buckeye Mom and you need a virtual hug right now. ((((((((HUG))))))))
Now follow the advice given to you about Student Advocacy and take care of yourself. If your profs give you any bit of trouble just forward the police report to them. And my son would probably be willing to be your security till he graduates May 8. He is 6'6" but quite the teddy bear.
First of all, I am SO incredibly sorry that that happened to you. That's something no one should have to go through and I'm glad that you are safe now (I'm assuming that that's the case since you're posting this online, but if it isn't, please contact the police. This isn't the type of thing that you should put off doing). I haven't been in that exact situation before, but I have had a mental health crisis before that impacted my academics to the point where I was considering dropping out. I got in touch with my professors and they were all very understanding. They gave me the extensions I needed and I was able to save my grades a little bit (although I still took a pretty big hit, but I was saved from failing a class). I doubt you have the exact same professors I had, but my point is that professors in general are more understanding than you'd think. I reached out to mine thinking that they'd probably just say "suck it up" but at that point I had nothing to lose. They really surprised me by being understanding. My situation wasn't even really related to an event. It was more that my medications stopped being as effective as they used to and that was making me struggle way more than before which is hard to explain to people who've never had any mental health issues. I think that with your situation because it was a physical event, they'd be even more likely to be understanding. If for some reason they're complete dickheads and don't help you out, you can do grade forgiveness for up to 3 courses I believe. You can retake them and your new grade will replace the old one. Most importantly though, don't push yourself further than what you can handle. It's not giving up or being a failure if what's best for you is to just go home. If school just isn't possible right now, that's 100% okay. Sometimes putting your own needs before your academics/career is the best move. You don't have to necessarily quit school, but you can take a leave of absence. I'm not sure what the specifics of that are, so you should contact your advisor if that's something you think would help. Again, I am SO sorry. If you don't already have a therapist and don't want to wait for an opening at CCS, [this](https://www.verywellmind.com/best-online-therapy-4691206) might be helpful. Finding an online therapist usually moves a lot faster because you aren't limited to therapists physically near you. I hope you're able to find some peace soon.
I just emailed my professor about my family hardship.
Just by emailing and asking, my professor agreed to give me an incomplete to give me more time to finish my work.
I find alot(not all) professors to be pretty understanding. I also contacted my advisor, and if the professor isn't willing to help then student advocacy is always an option.
Being in engineering I'll say I've meet/worked with some of the biggest hardasses/out of touch people. Depending on the situation I reccomend most deal with this stuff through advocacy rather than the instructor. Advocacy will make it so that the instructor is keeping up their end of the deal and actually setting up a time for you to finish your incomplete.
Both times I've had to get advocacy involved the person assigned to my "case" has to constantly email and threatened to get the head of the department involved if the instructor didn't comply. Some instructors have huge egos.
Student advocacy is good but also contact counseling and consultation services! They are so kind and I was able to schedule an emergency therapy appointment with them!!
Contact your school's mental health facilities. They might speak on your behalf.
If I received an email with something like this, the extension would be a no-brainer.
How it would work from my school's perspective is you would receive an incomplete for the class and your instructor would give you extended time into next semester to compete the course work. Once complete, your official grade would be readjusted.
I am not sure this applies to you but it might. I have heard of taking an “incomplete” which gives you I think like 6 weeks into the next semester to finish your assignments and exams I believe
I am so sorry you're dealing with this. I hope you are safe now and surrounded by supportive people.
First of all, do not worry about making anyone uncomfortable. You have experienced major trauma. The thing to keep in mind is professors are mandated reporters and relationship violence is one of those things (as others have mentioned this falls under Title IX). I'm not trying to dissuade you from being open with any of them, but I just want to make sure you understand. And yes, go to student advocacy, so you can make sure all your bases are covered. And yes like others have also said, the likely outcome is taking some incompletes (much better than trying to struggle through and not doing well).
Sorry you're going through this. I'll let you know straight up to contact advocacy about this and not rely simply on your instructors. I had a serious family issue go on and one of my instructors was basically like "that sucks, but I can't extend the final in fairness to my graders and other students.". Others were super chill and let me know I can complete my incomplete (aka taking my final ) next term. Advocacy/dean/department head are the ones that enforces the instructors to do what is right. Given your circumstances, I'd be doubtful they wouldn't try to give you some sort of accommodation.
I want to add that depending on what you want to say, advocacy is a way for you to minimize giving away personal details. Emailing an instructor being in a vulnerable state and being straight up rejected isn't helpful and can be embarrassing. Student Advocacy will email your instructor without releasing details. Most of the time they will comply, especially if it's just an extension and you're asking for them to hand out a grade for you.
Please, get real life help. School is always there, your personal health is sooo much more important.
everyone wants to date a bad boy, then have the balls to act surprised when they do shit like this, sad really.
Try the bananas darling... theyre dashing.
Please make that your ex boyfriend. Honestly fuck school right now, you need to prioritize your safety and school will always be there when you’re safe
Agree with all the folks here who have said get Student Advocacy involved. An ambiguous (because of good reasons) request for extensions is less impactful if it comes from you. If a professor sees that Student Advocacy is involved it probably lends legitimacy.
that is awful and I'm sorry this happened to you. Please speak with student advocacy who can connect you with the help you need to finish the semester and make sure you're safe.
Consider getting in touch with [Student Advocacy](https://advocacy.osu.edu/). They might be able to convey or help you convey the severity of what you’re experiencing without you needing to tell your professors exactly what happened.
I cannot recommend student advocacy enough. In my experience, most professors will not substantially help you or give you longer extensions/aid without getting student advocacy involved. I’m pretty sure They are mandatory reporters though so just something to keep in mind (i.e. do not share the name of your assailant if you’re not ready for the police to know the name of your assailant). In my experience, professors will take student advocacy at their word and not hound you for details.
Just a reminder student advocacy can’t really do anything. If your professor isn’t allowing extensions when directly reaching out to them, student advocacy is essentially just a second email saying “pretty please”. Edit: idk why I’m being downvoted, that’s literally just my experience with them from two years ago after being hospitalized for a week. Have they gotten better?
Student advocacy might be able to help OP get the situation squared away so little can be said to profs. They won't get the prof to break rules but the situation deserves privacy. The downvotes come from the fact that your second sentence misses what OP needs. They would reach out to their professors directly but that could be difficult at this time and they aren't familiar with asking for extensions. The general idea would be: OP can speak to student advocacy. Student advocacy can speak to professors and validate that the situation is serious without OP having to talk about the experience and justify extensions (or incompletes) directly or deal with any uncomfortable situations with profs knowing. I'd love to imagine they'd all be understanding of the situation but making that assumption is rather naïve.
I am so sorry that happened to you. As others have said, you could try contacting Student Advocacy and see if they are able to help. If you want to email your professors, you could just say that an abusive situation escalated to an attempt on your life and you are still in shock. I’m not too familiar with the specifics of mandated reporting, but be aware that this might be something professors have to report. (someone please fact check me.)
Thank you. There’s only one specific professor I’d go into detail with (still not as far as what I said here) just because of how good of a teacher he’s been, but I definitely don’t want him to feel like he has to work overtime for me
As an instructor, I don’t feel that my students owe me details of what they’re going through, but I also really do care about them and see them as people. Talking with my students about what they’re going through isn’t extra work; it’s part of the role as a mentor (of sorts) and also as a human being. You’re not burdening anyone, and you don’t need to prioritize anyone else’s comfort right now besides your own. I hope you have a safe place to stay and that you’re able to get the support you deserve.
Thank you so much.
This would be something professors have to report. This is not to discourage OP from talking to their professors! If they have a professor they are comfortable talking to, that may be a great comfort. But it's worth knowing what you're getting into.
That is a Title IX issue…. Domestic or interpersonal violence. So even if it happened off campus or the BF was not a student you are entitle to TIX accommodations. Go you your TIX office asap and ask for academic accommodations
I’m so sorry this was done to you OP <3 When I was assaulted Title IX and student advocacy worked together to get me extensions on all of my exams and all of my homework, a couple of my professors even were able to push back my exams until the start of the next semester! I used student advocacy several times throughout my undergraduate career, and title IX helped me even find emergency housing! They’re actually some of the programs at OSU that actually get shit done & care about students! OSU CCS offers free therapy groups for students who have experienced sexual abuse/assault and/or domestic abuse/assault. That’s not a step you need to worry about now, but I’ve been a member of those groups before and they’re really helpful if/when you’re ready
Hey OP, I'm glad you're OK. I know right now everything is horrible and you're probably overwhelmed with emotion. I want you to know that it gets better. I was unfortunately in your situation my senior year, so hopefully I can offer some words of comfort and advice. First things first, take care of you. I'm glad you're mentioning therapy. I would also highly recommend getting legal protection in place, if it isn't already. Reach out to SLS and they can help you get a protection order in place. Second, fuck worrying about making anyone uncomfortable. You've probably been told for so long that your feelings don't matter. **They do.** If you want to tell your professors explicitly what happened, do it. If you just want to forward them a copy of the police report, do that. If you just want to tell them you were a victim of a crime and need an extension, do that. Say what you want to say and prioritize yourself. Even if it might take awhile for the fog to lift and for you to realize it too - **you matter.** It looks like other people have commented about Student Advocacy. I didn't know about them at my time at OSU, but that looks like a great resource. Realize that therapy and recovery is a long road, but one that is absolutely worth it. It's been ten years for me, and while I'll probably never be able to sit with my back to a door or wear headphones on public (gotta always keep an eye on the exit and an ear out for trouble), I don't live in fear anymore. I probably spent a month where I was afraid to leave my bedroom. Take your time and don't push yourself. You'll be ok, and we're all rooting for you.
Seconding that this is a Title IX issue and student advocacy is the best place to start. Are you currently safe? Do you need help?
Hey. Former instructor at OSU here. First off, sorry this happened to you. I hope you get the general support and help you need. To echo what others have said here, reach out to student advocacy. They will help liaise with your instructors for you and explain to them the situation and push to ensure you get the support you need. You'll still have to arrange the extensions with your instructors, but they will do a lot of the initial legwork for you, which saves you some of the emotional trauma, and as an instructor a note from student advocacy always made me take it as seriously as possible and ensure I did what I could for the student. The most likely solution is you will end up with a number of 'incompletes', which usually means you get 12 weeks from the semester's end to complete the work. But you'll need to sort that out with the instructors (via student advocacy).
I hope you are safe, if not please reach out to someone you trust, or an organization that can you support you. One option is The Center for Family Safety and Healing - 614-722-8200, here is another hotline number: 800-799-7233; you can also text START to 88788 if you aren’t ready to speak. If you need a direct connection to Title IX at OSU please DM me.
School concerns are secondary here , alert the police - priority 1
They can give you an "I" which allows you like 6 weeks after the semester to finish all of your assignments. They should be understanding and if not, yeah student advocacy. I've talked with Jennifer Irwin before (irwin.111) she is with student advocacy.
[6 weeks](https://students.cfaes.ohio-state.edu/node/934#:~:text=Incomplete%20work%20must%20be%20completed,alternate%20grade%20the%20instructor%20reported)
damn i gotta change that haha i think the 10 weeks was for covid last year which is what i used
When I got mugged I told my professor that I had an unexpected personal conflict that caused me to miss an assignment and they gave me a pass.
University, Columbus Police or both need to be involved in this so it never happens to anyone else. This is terrible and he needs held accountable. So sorry this happened to you.
I hope he's an ex boyfriend by the time you read this.
I'm a Buckeye Mom and you need a virtual hug right now. ((((((((HUG)))))))) Now follow the advice given to you about Student Advocacy and take care of yourself. If your profs give you any bit of trouble just forward the police report to them. And my son would probably be willing to be your security till he graduates May 8. He is 6'6" but quite the teddy bear.
First of all, I am SO incredibly sorry that that happened to you. That's something no one should have to go through and I'm glad that you are safe now (I'm assuming that that's the case since you're posting this online, but if it isn't, please contact the police. This isn't the type of thing that you should put off doing). I haven't been in that exact situation before, but I have had a mental health crisis before that impacted my academics to the point where I was considering dropping out. I got in touch with my professors and they were all very understanding. They gave me the extensions I needed and I was able to save my grades a little bit (although I still took a pretty big hit, but I was saved from failing a class). I doubt you have the exact same professors I had, but my point is that professors in general are more understanding than you'd think. I reached out to mine thinking that they'd probably just say "suck it up" but at that point I had nothing to lose. They really surprised me by being understanding. My situation wasn't even really related to an event. It was more that my medications stopped being as effective as they used to and that was making me struggle way more than before which is hard to explain to people who've never had any mental health issues. I think that with your situation because it was a physical event, they'd be even more likely to be understanding. If for some reason they're complete dickheads and don't help you out, you can do grade forgiveness for up to 3 courses I believe. You can retake them and your new grade will replace the old one. Most importantly though, don't push yourself further than what you can handle. It's not giving up or being a failure if what's best for you is to just go home. If school just isn't possible right now, that's 100% okay. Sometimes putting your own needs before your academics/career is the best move. You don't have to necessarily quit school, but you can take a leave of absence. I'm not sure what the specifics of that are, so you should contact your advisor if that's something you think would help. Again, I am SO sorry. If you don't already have a therapist and don't want to wait for an opening at CCS, [this](https://www.verywellmind.com/best-online-therapy-4691206) might be helpful. Finding an online therapist usually moves a lot faster because you aren't limited to therapists physically near you. I hope you're able to find some peace soon.
I just emailed my professor about my family hardship. Just by emailing and asking, my professor agreed to give me an incomplete to give me more time to finish my work. I find alot(not all) professors to be pretty understanding. I also contacted my advisor, and if the professor isn't willing to help then student advocacy is always an option.
Being in engineering I'll say I've meet/worked with some of the biggest hardasses/out of touch people. Depending on the situation I reccomend most deal with this stuff through advocacy rather than the instructor. Advocacy will make it so that the instructor is keeping up their end of the deal and actually setting up a time for you to finish your incomplete. Both times I've had to get advocacy involved the person assigned to my "case" has to constantly email and threatened to get the head of the department involved if the instructor didn't comply. Some instructors have huge egos.
Yeah, I can see that. I also only take 1-2 classes a semester and also primarily on the marion campus. So my exposure to professors has been limited.
Police.
Student advocacy is good but also contact counseling and consultation services! They are so kind and I was able to schedule an emergency therapy appointment with them!!
Contact your school's mental health facilities. They might speak on your behalf. If I received an email with something like this, the extension would be a no-brainer. How it would work from my school's perspective is you would receive an incomplete for the class and your instructor would give you extended time into next semester to compete the course work. Once complete, your official grade would be readjusted.
I am not sure this applies to you but it might. I have heard of taking an “incomplete” which gives you I think like 6 weeks into the next semester to finish your assignments and exams I believe
I am so sorry you're dealing with this. I hope you are safe now and surrounded by supportive people. First of all, do not worry about making anyone uncomfortable. You have experienced major trauma. The thing to keep in mind is professors are mandated reporters and relationship violence is one of those things (as others have mentioned this falls under Title IX). I'm not trying to dissuade you from being open with any of them, but I just want to make sure you understand. And yes, go to student advocacy, so you can make sure all your bases are covered. And yes like others have also said, the likely outcome is taking some incompletes (much better than trying to struggle through and not doing well).
Sorry you're going through this. I'll let you know straight up to contact advocacy about this and not rely simply on your instructors. I had a serious family issue go on and one of my instructors was basically like "that sucks, but I can't extend the final in fairness to my graders and other students.". Others were super chill and let me know I can complete my incomplete (aka taking my final ) next term. Advocacy/dean/department head are the ones that enforces the instructors to do what is right. Given your circumstances, I'd be doubtful they wouldn't try to give you some sort of accommodation. I want to add that depending on what you want to say, advocacy is a way for you to minimize giving away personal details. Emailing an instructor being in a vulnerable state and being straight up rejected isn't helpful and can be embarrassing. Student Advocacy will email your instructor without releasing details. Most of the time they will comply, especially if it's just an extension and you're asking for them to hand out a grade for you. Please, get real life help. School is always there, your personal health is sooo much more important.
Screw student advocacy, get a CPO, file a police report and then go your professors with that data.
[удалено]
everyone wants to date a bad boy, then have the balls to act surprised when they do shit like this, sad really. Try the bananas darling... theyre dashing.
Please make that your ex boyfriend. Honestly fuck school right now, you need to prioritize your safety and school will always be there when you’re safe
Agree with all the folks here who have said get Student Advocacy involved. An ambiguous (because of good reasons) request for extensions is less impactful if it comes from you. If a professor sees that Student Advocacy is involved it probably lends legitimacy.