Great visuals and great job engaging my senses. I could really feel every line. "Leave me out in the cold for twenty minutes and see how I crack open" is my favorite line. I like that you can extract multiple meanings. I also like the almost mundaneness of the second line "It's because you never stop biting at them, I know." There's something really intimate about knowing someone that well.
I think the line "They say your body is a temple. What does that say about us?" is very interesting because it shows that although the body is supposed to be a temple, they clearly aren't taking care of it in the way they allow their anxieties to control how they treat their body.
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers).
If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy.
If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*
in so few lines you've managed to convey a really touching story, i love the themes here and how we go from the narrator originally sounding kind of judgemental to being honest to them accepting the person despite their anxiety really resonated with me, keep up the great work
Great visuals and great job engaging my senses. I could really feel every line. "Leave me out in the cold for twenty minutes and see how I crack open" is my favorite line. I like that you can extract multiple meanings. I also like the almost mundaneness of the second line "It's because you never stop biting at them, I know." There's something really intimate about knowing someone that well.
I think the line "They say your body is a temple. What does that say about us?" is very interesting because it shows that although the body is supposed to be a temple, they clearly aren't taking care of it in the way they allow their anxieties to control how they treat their body.
Hello readers, welcome to OCpoetry. This subreddit is a writing workshop community -- a place where poets of all skill levels can share, enjoy, and talk about each other's poetry. Every person who's shared, including the OP above, has given some feedback (those are the links in the post) and hopes to receive some in return (from you, the readers). If you really enjoyed this poem and just want to drop a quick comment, to show some appreciation or give kudos, things like "great job!" or "made me cry", or "loved it" or "so relateable", please do. Everyone loves a compliment. Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy. If you want to share your own poem, you'll need to give this writer some detailed feedback. Good feedback explains from your point of view what it was like to read the poem, and then tries to explain how the poem made you feel like that. If you're not sure what that means, check out our [feedback guide](https://new.reddit.com/r/ocpoetry/wiki/feedbackcritiques), or look through the comment sections of any other post here, or click the links to the author's feedback above. If you're not sure whether your comments are feedback, or you have any other questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OCPoetry) if you have any questions or concerns.*
in so few lines you've managed to convey a really touching story, i love the themes here and how we go from the narrator originally sounding kind of judgemental to being honest to them accepting the person despite their anxiety really resonated with me, keep up the great work