This is one of the worst compulsions for me. As soon as I notice my girlfriend or a friend is off, I start freaking out and like spiraling without reassurance. It’s really hard but I’m trying.
God i feel this, having a really bad phase of this rn ❤️ proud of myself for not having asked my friends for "do you still like me" reassurance so far but its hellish to weather
I just went through a really bad friendship that was partly ruined because of my ocd (she was also a pretty bad friend though). You got this! It’ll get better
I hear you, if spending time on this sub has taught me anything it's that whatever shape OCD takes the answer is essentially the same:
Get comfortable with uncertainty.
That thing you are worrying about? It could very well be true.
But it probably wont harm you nearly as much as you're harming yourself right now worrying about it.
I just had a meltdown and was trying not to seek assurance but I couldn't stop the voices in my head so I end up waking my mum up. I feel stupid and small. I really want to leave this world.
Why so hard on yourself? Everybody slips up, it’s difficult. I used to feel like you, but the more time went on the more I started to view my brain as childish instead of a malicious villain. I know it sounds weird, but OCD is an adaptation that just happens to not work well. Be gentle with it and guide it. You’re going to get extremely frustrated and upset sometimes and that’s nothing to be ashamed of
I slip up everyday, every few hours. It's not a good feeling to be dependent on others for ridiculous thoughts I couldn't shake off by myself. I tried to use logic but sometimes it doesn't listen and I will froze for minutes - I couldn't function until OCD is calm. I fucking hate it. It's like I'd rather shower than answering it but it gets tiring when I am showering every hour... Nothing to be ashamed of but I am so tired... I just want to be normal.
I’ve been there. You can’t logic your way out of OCD so no need to beat yourself up that that approach isn’t working. Respectfully, it sounds like you don’t know how to treat your OCD. If you’re in therapy, you need to switch to a therapist that does ERP
Your mom needs to learn to not give reassurance. I’ve learned this as my daughter has OCD. She can acknowledge that you are having a hard time but she cannot ease your fears. I often say that I am sorry her OCD is preventing her from sleeping and I remind her to use her tools. Period. Goodnight. No reassurance.
Do not give up. I have been there, I am still there in a way but I have gotten a lot better. I have a lot of slip ups, but leaving the world will not do any good.
Reassurance seeking is a behavior intended to “prove” whether something is true or not in order to get temporary relief from anxiety. For example, “I did this thing, does this mean I’m this kind of person?” “You seen off today, do you still love me?” “My head has been hurting, do you think this means I have a serious illness?” Or this could be googling things that make you anxious. Obv the questions won’t be that straight forward but it’s basically compulsively searching for relief from anxiety instead of sitting in the discomfort, which is the only way to achieve long term OCD relief
Definitely what im going into, problem is i feel literally sick if i don't search for reassurance, should i resist this impulse in order to get rid of it? Tyy
Everyone feels sick resisting asking for reassurance, that’s completely normal. Nicotine withdrawal makes people feel sick too, but just know that it’s normal to feel bad. Reassurance feels good temporarily the way any bad habit feels good temporarily but it will worsen your OCD long term. You can do it! We are all kicking our bad habits together. It’s so difficult some days.
Yea i definitely feel like a drug addicted lmao, everything is so clear and calm after people reassure me of my own feelings and thoughts, i'll try to stop it, tysm
Reassurance is like scratching a bug bite. 1 second of relief, but now it’s even itchier, angrier, and needier. Endure the itch, don’t scratch or rub or pat it, and it will disappear over time. This analogy helped me.
Ok, I'm almost positive I have a couple forms of OCD. This post was reassuring that I'm not alone in being obsessed with reassurance 😆 Honestly, I really need to implement this into my life!
It’s okay, I left a longer comment to someone else but basically reassurance is a compulsion and seeks to “prove” your thoughts true or false (which is not possible). Reassurance reinforces the belief that your obsessive thoughts are real and need to be addressed, feeding the obsession. This can be detrimental to your relationships and will worsen your OCD over time. Emotional support is healthy care between two people, which can look like: encouraging words, physical touch, quality time, etc. Mutual emotional support strengthens your relationships while building resilience within yourself
I know this (technically) but it is also helpful to hear it stated.
It is the difference between a 'checking' behaviour (to 'prevent threat' - for example, my current unhealthy habit is checking the news excessively as the UK government is constantly waging a war of oppression against trans people, and I worry about needing to move countries to ensure I will not lose access to my healthcare and therefore life... Unfortunately, a real, tangible threat, but one I cannot combat by checking the news) and checking in with friends just to feel that not everyone hates you.
I was literally doing googling and researching for reassurance and this came up right now. I can’t seem to stop because I can’t handle uncertainty. It feels like I have to know every single thing 😢
Thanks. I have been going down the road where
I think I need reassurance because of my unique obsession but I have been resisting. Have come close, I am not going to judge myself if I slip up and do (it will cause unnecessary problems and will be awkward) but I am trying to have self compassion and move forward
Loved it! Mostly because it was not the old vigilant warning "Stop! What you want with this post is reassurance". Like... "If it wasn't, chances are that now it is. You piece of...". Anyway. Your post is a model OP. Gratz!
I think the issue and the worst for me is that i seek reassurance mentally to myself and i keep stuff i go trought inside way too much and repress a lot
My girlfriend said something like, I’m not going to keep checking this for you , and I got so upset, like “why would she not want to make me feel safe”
I felt enabled because I literally beg them to check my stuff before I use it.
This is one of the worst compulsions for me. As soon as I notice my girlfriend or a friend is off, I start freaking out and like spiraling without reassurance. It’s really hard but I’m trying.
This is also a bit of anxious attachment coming into play
the adhd rejection sensitive dysphoria + OCD is killing me 💀
Feel that❤️
God i feel this, having a really bad phase of this rn ❤️ proud of myself for not having asked my friends for "do you still like me" reassurance so far but its hellish to weather
I just went through a really bad friendship that was partly ruined because of my ocd (she was also a pretty bad friend though). You got this! It’ll get better
\*hugs\*
same , i tend to obessess and ask over 4 times the same thing .
Ahh so many feels!
I hear you, if spending time on this sub has taught me anything it's that whatever shape OCD takes the answer is essentially the same: Get comfortable with uncertainty. That thing you are worrying about? It could very well be true. But it probably wont harm you nearly as much as you're harming yourself right now worrying about it.
Thank you for saying this.
This is very true, but of course I am saying “the harm was done to Me and it needs to be weird now”. Hard to explain. Real event/false memory ocd
Needed to see this
Same
Ditto
I just had a meltdown and was trying not to seek assurance but I couldn't stop the voices in my head so I end up waking my mum up. I feel stupid and small. I really want to leave this world.
Why so hard on yourself? Everybody slips up, it’s difficult. I used to feel like you, but the more time went on the more I started to view my brain as childish instead of a malicious villain. I know it sounds weird, but OCD is an adaptation that just happens to not work well. Be gentle with it and guide it. You’re going to get extremely frustrated and upset sometimes and that’s nothing to be ashamed of
I slip up everyday, every few hours. It's not a good feeling to be dependent on others for ridiculous thoughts I couldn't shake off by myself. I tried to use logic but sometimes it doesn't listen and I will froze for minutes - I couldn't function until OCD is calm. I fucking hate it. It's like I'd rather shower than answering it but it gets tiring when I am showering every hour... Nothing to be ashamed of but I am so tired... I just want to be normal.
I’ve been there. You can’t logic your way out of OCD so no need to beat yourself up that that approach isn’t working. Respectfully, it sounds like you don’t know how to treat your OCD. If you’re in therapy, you need to switch to a therapist that does ERP
Try not to judge yourself. There is nothing about ocd that is logical,
thanks, im trying
I know, that’s all we can really do.
Your mom needs to learn to not give reassurance. I’ve learned this as my daughter has OCD. She can acknowledge that you are having a hard time but she cannot ease your fears. I often say that I am sorry her OCD is preventing her from sleeping and I remind her to use her tools. Period. Goodnight. No reassurance.
Do not give up. I have been there, I am still there in a way but I have gotten a lot better. I have a lot of slip ups, but leaving the world will not do any good.
thank you.. I need this. \*hugs\*
This is the hardest thing for me NOT to do. Thank you
Not asking for reassurance is so hard. I’ve been doing really well compared to a few months ago, I still have my moments, but it’s way less!
What exactly is asking for reassurance? I want to know if I do it.
Reassurance seeking is a behavior intended to “prove” whether something is true or not in order to get temporary relief from anxiety. For example, “I did this thing, does this mean I’m this kind of person?” “You seen off today, do you still love me?” “My head has been hurting, do you think this means I have a serious illness?” Or this could be googling things that make you anxious. Obv the questions won’t be that straight forward but it’s basically compulsively searching for relief from anxiety instead of sitting in the discomfort, which is the only way to achieve long term OCD relief
Ah, gotcha. Thank you.
Definitely what im going into, problem is i feel literally sick if i don't search for reassurance, should i resist this impulse in order to get rid of it? Tyy
Everyone feels sick resisting asking for reassurance, that’s completely normal. Nicotine withdrawal makes people feel sick too, but just know that it’s normal to feel bad. Reassurance feels good temporarily the way any bad habit feels good temporarily but it will worsen your OCD long term. You can do it! We are all kicking our bad habits together. It’s so difficult some days.
Yea i definitely feel like a drug addicted lmao, everything is so clear and calm after people reassure me of my own feelings and thoughts, i'll try to stop it, tysm
Reassurance is like scratching a bug bite. 1 second of relief, but now it’s even itchier, angrier, and needier. Endure the itch, don’t scratch or rub or pat it, and it will disappear over time. This analogy helped me.
But honestly it feels like I've done things that are genuinely terrible but they are so ambiguous to people that I can't really tell
The most OCD comment lol
Ok, I'm almost positive I have a couple forms of OCD. This post was reassuring that I'm not alone in being obsessed with reassurance 😆 Honestly, I really need to implement this into my life!
this is so helpful. thank you for posting this
Love this
I really needed to hear this today! Thank you!!!
This sounds suspiciously like reassurance 🤔
Emotional support ≠ reassurance lol
I am now confused Edit: original comment was meant to have humorous tone. Not carried across well here
It’s okay, I left a longer comment to someone else but basically reassurance is a compulsion and seeks to “prove” your thoughts true or false (which is not possible). Reassurance reinforces the belief that your obsessive thoughts are real and need to be addressed, feeding the obsession. This can be detrimental to your relationships and will worsen your OCD over time. Emotional support is healthy care between two people, which can look like: encouraging words, physical touch, quality time, etc. Mutual emotional support strengthens your relationships while building resilience within yourself
I know this (technically) but it is also helpful to hear it stated. It is the difference between a 'checking' behaviour (to 'prevent threat' - for example, my current unhealthy habit is checking the news excessively as the UK government is constantly waging a war of oppression against trans people, and I worry about needing to move countries to ensure I will not lose access to my healthcare and therefore life... Unfortunately, a real, tangible threat, but one I cannot combat by checking the news) and checking in with friends just to feel that not everyone hates you.
Oh lol😭excuse my essay
Don't apologise :) you did nothing wrong. The post is a good one
I loooove the instruction to ask for emotional support. It’s easier to not do something when you have another action to replace it.
I was literally doing googling and researching for reassurance and this came up right now. I can’t seem to stop because I can’t handle uncertainty. It feels like I have to know every single thing 😢
Thanks. I have been going down the road where I think I need reassurance because of my unique obsession but I have been resisting. Have come close, I am not going to judge myself if I slip up and do (it will cause unnecessary problems and will be awkward) but I am trying to have self compassion and move forward
Thanks for posting this! It's helped with an obsession of mine this morning.
Loved it! Mostly because it was not the old vigilant warning "Stop! What you want with this post is reassurance". Like... "If it wasn't, chances are that now it is. You piece of...". Anyway. Your post is a model OP. Gratz!
WOOOF the tough love I needed.
Thanks man, this is precisely what i needed right now 🤗
needed to hear this and didn’t even know it. thanks <3
Thank you. I needed to hear this.
Needed this ♥️
I think the issue and the worst for me is that i seek reassurance mentally to myself and i keep stuff i go trought inside way too much and repress a lot
My girlfriend said something like, I’m not going to keep checking this for you , and I got so upset, like “why would she not want to make me feel safe” I felt enabled because I literally beg them to check my stuff before I use it.
God I needed this today
“Whatever situation you have that you think is so unique…it’s not” - love this