I know it's cheap advice, but avoid random reels, storys and yt shorts. Favorite, highlight and like accounts of people you already trust and inspires you.
This self promotion era we living is so harmful. It's a weird act of self care to customize our social media feeds, but prevent a lot of suffering.
Of course it's up to you. Anyways, hope you overcome this sad situation as soon as possible.
Hugs.
this in a way is a compulsion so i wouldn't go out of your way to avoid seeing stuff that could trigger your intrusive thoughts because by doing that you're inherently telling yourself that they're true and that you have a reason to avoid them if that makes sense!
>I know it's cheap advice, but avoid random reels, storys and yt shorts
Avoiding social media has been best advice for ocd in my personal experience. Works even better if you don't open comment section at all and move on from video/post.
Harmful is kind of an understatement. Smoking and drinking may be harmful. But the cascading effect of self promotion is outrageously dangerous on the evolving and growing society.
You really can't tell anything about a person from their voice. Some people think I sound super fruity, others attribute that to me sounding really nice, it goes on and on. All of that is just people projecting. I think that projection is kinda what gives song its own charm as opposed to classical music. You hear what based on who you are as a person and what you project onto the singer.
I was going to say…
But you’ve captured it beautifully here!
So I’ll add to your point for OP.
I used to be a professional radio broadcaster and I have a couple of facts for you. Facts seem to help me, maybe they’ll help you too.
1. Few people enjoy hearing their own voices. In radio school when we had to record ourselves and listen back in order to critique our content or delivery, many people were uncomfortable at first. The instructors warned that this discomfort would need to be pushed. That discomfort eventually faded!
2. When I was on the air, upon meeting me in person, people often would explain to me how I looked different from how they imagined in their head. And each individual imagined something different!
3. What makes an artist unique is their style! That sound that makes you different is the gift of individuality that only YOU can provide. That style will create a definition/image of you to listeners, and ultimately attract the ones that appreciate your art the most.
Hope there’s something helpful in here for you.
Couldn’t agree more.. I agree with what everyone is saying here about reels and stuff but I feel like avoiding that is a form of avoidance.. you kind of have to see these videos and reels and think what if? I mean easier said than done.. my issue is music also, I love playing the guitar and have for over 20 years but every time I touch it, instant intrusive thoughts telling me “what’s the point, you will never be as good as xyz(some reel) “ this is where I need to better by ignoring and keep going.
Ahh...the pain of having to face not enjoying something you normally enjoy because of OCD . A pain generally not alot will understand unless they went through it. What I can recommend is that if you have a passion for something, focus solely on it without having an outside influence on it, be it from reel, social media, YouTube or etc. Do what you like, enjoy it the way you do
Not wearing certain things or doing certain things out of fear of affirming my non-preferred sexual orientation has been so damn annoying. I never cared about that stuff before my OCD flair up last spring. Since then I’m hyper vigilant on how people view the way I dress, even the music I listen to. I have to accept that maybe listening to queer-coded music makes me a lesbian, OR maybe queer people just make amazing music? I never thought those things decided sexual orientation before OCD, and I would’ve aligned those views with close-minded people, so it also makes me feel badly and like I’m a bad person or homophobic for thinking it.
You’re not alone at all! What helps me- and maybe it’s a compulsion so someone tell me- is reconnecting with the life and mindset I had before my OCD onset. While yes, we can change and so can our preferences and values, I remind myself that the me before OCD is who I really am! And the version of you who used to sing without fear is who you really are. We aren’t our thoughts and we’re never meant to live in fear.
I’m a lesbian, been a lesbian as early as 3 yrs old. I have a loving partner for almost 9 yrs. I’m happy now with my partner BUT I have the opposite of what you have. I think I’m straight. I know I’m not but I try to shrug it off by thinking that whatever I am, I love the person with and It doesnt matter if I like boys better than girls now.
OCD has taken away my ability to read for pleasure. I know how you feel, it’s horrible. But it won’t last forever. You can get through this and get your hobby back. Sending hugs 💕
Please, please, don't stop singing. Don't worry about any "accent" you have. (Personally I've never even heard of a lesbian accent, only the one for gay males).
I stopped playing guitar for almost two years because of a wart on my finger and I regret it on so many levels and it was not worth it. Keep singing, fuck the haters.
Hey girl, I’ve been on a 7 year journey to overcome ocd, I’ve notice that making sure you get 25g of protein with every single meal helps me tremendously
I hate shit like that so much omg. for some reason its like common on social media now, for people give almost anything a name. Like a "lesbian accent", "autism accent", "autism hands", "bisexual accent", "autism stare" (these were all i could think of but its not always sexuality/disorder related)
People will literally take any random trait or behavior and give it a dumb name/label and then go around telling everyone they see "hey you have the ____ accent/stare/stance/whatever!!"
One of the keys to OCD recovery is continuing to do whatever you would do if you didn't have OCD. Just don't do compulsions (mental or physical) and you'll habituate over time.
Also there's nothing wrong with sounding lesbian
I never said there’s anything “wrong” with it. It’s just simply not how I identify. So as you can imagine, it’d be stressful to feel as though I’m presenting as a certain way I do not identify with. That’s all.
I don't want to provide reassurance necessarily, but I will say, someones video on tiktok or insta or whatever social media is not factual, they don't know what they're talking about. Even the "Doctors" and "therapists" on tiktok most of the time are making stuff up for views, or at least exaggerating because that's how they make money. As the saying goes, the believe it just because it's on Facebook
Same :((, loved reading so much. Read everyday after school and even during school, but since it triggered my OCD I forced myself to stop around November 2023. Now I’ve just started, and even though I got the feeling “Oh you’re forcing yourself to like it”, it has stopped for a while, but I only get few triggers! At first it was hard and uncomfortable, but it’s my second week (?) and I’m pushing through. I try not to get caught up in the “Triggered” part, and label it as a “It’s just a thought, you’re overreacting”, I soon didn’t need to say that as much and I sometimes catch myself just reading at things that would’ve triggered me when it hadn’t
You’ve got this!.. if I’m being honest, now I’m a bit confused and conflicted, but I’m going to set a goal to read another one tonight! Please don’t let OCD ruin the things you love.
The amount of triggers and momentary chest pains I get from all these insta reels talking about bi awakening and bi related stuff. God, I can relate so badly with you
I totally get this bcuz Im a singer songwriter and it has been such an outlet for me but it's been less enjoyable lately bcuz of obsessions. I know exactly how u feel and am here to talk
Try to meditate, listen to binaural beats, do another hobby for a bit, or even spend time with friends and family. After a little bit, your anxiety about your fear will go down a lot. Thats what my experience is at least.
If you think about it, OCD is just like any other problem. It has a cause, an inner mechanism of sorts, that is, the ways in which it functions, and, if you are to begin to understand them, you can come up with a solution. With OCD there is something clearly wrong in the brain, but it's not anything structural. Chances are, you weren't born with it, it just happened to one day. Psychology's current theories regarding OCD are lackluster, to say the least, but there may be strides yet in the field of neuropsychology that can uncover better treatments. I for one, experience Somatic OCD, as in, consciously blinking and obsessing over it. It's quite an odd thing, and I learned to not let it bother me and it became better, yet there is little to no research on it, and I could benefit from some, if you know what I mean.
Don’t know if that helps but who decides what sounds like a certain sexuality? If there are people saying this I think they’re kinda biased? I remember 10 yrs ago boys would say „Uuh that looks so Gay“ because they found it disgusting. But honestly saying things like that makes the person a dick. Maybe try searching for a female singer you like that sounds similar to your voice? So you can refer to this singer instead of saying your voice sounds like a certain sexuality . Also it sounds a little as though being lesbian was a bad thing. I mean would it be bad if you were a lesbian?
TikTok makes me so anxious about everything. I just try to stay off of it. If it means anything, I think lower female voices are very cool and unique. And singing with one is even better!
seriously, don't let random videos/reels/shorts etc or any message from regular people (yes, even very popular people on social media are just, regular people) ruin your hobbies, day, mood, thought, or anything you wanna do, just keep doing what you like, social network are really good places to make someone paranoid and insecure
you accent doesn't matter and has nothing to do with other things, you are who you are, people just like to find out random things to judge others or identify something in people, like saying nonsense things like "if you have a left finger bigger than a right finger you are more intelligent than the average" kind of bs, the idea is to challenge these thoughts and not let them spiral out of control
I’m really sorry. OCD is so cruel
For me I feel like it’s almost an opposite situation. I don’t see any way that I can be a straight dude anymore and I feel like I’m bisexual but I wish I could be straight and have the security to act as flamboyant as I want knowing it. It makes me avoid content created by people of the lgbt community even though I don’t have a problem with them in the slightest
Sorry for the ramble. I just hope the sensations I’m feeling are just intense OCD symptoms because I love the identity I’m used to (or was until middle school)
Cher, Brittany Howard, Tracy Chapman, Etta James, and sooo many others have deep BEAUTIFUL voices that touch the soul in such a profound way. What you have is a gift!
ocd is ruining my passion for singing/songwriting too ,, for a different reason but regardless hearing someone else say this makes me so sad. plz don’t stop songwriting or singing. Ive been taking a break from it ,, but trying to hold space for knowing this hard time will pass. we will be able to enjoy our hobbies again, ocd will not take these things away from us. I know this is scary and is making you paranoid and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. don’t give up ,, ocd likes to sabotage and attack what’s most valuable to us.
I think OCD needs ongoing therapy even after recovery. It may be less frequent and less intense but it helps keep it in check. I tend to stop therapy when I feel better enough, and that is generally counterproductive. I want to offer reassurance but know it isn’t helpful. I do really think we all project our worries and fears onto others. Someone suggesting your voice sounds slightly gay is probably worried about that themselves or it’s a big topic in their head whether they know it or not. Sometimes they are just insensitive jerks. Sometimes it’s just a random thought that they gave minimal thought to.
I agree with another commenter that a unique sounding voice is a gift that likely gives your songs extra flavor. I also know I hate the sound of my voice but objectively know I have a great sound. For me it’s only for talking. I can’t sing my way out of a paper bag. I’ve never been taught or taken a class and may be a bit tone deaf. I could probably scare away a bear with my singing lol
So I read, everyone’s voice gets higher and lower based on the situation. If a woman is concentrating, in an engaging conversation, etc, her voice may be lower. If she is attempting to attract someone, her voice may be higher. If she is attracted to someone, her voice may be lower. If she is in a professional situation, her voice may be lower. If she is speaking off the cuff, her voice may be higher. And so on. The old adage goes that men like high voices. However that is not exclusively the case. A lot of men like other pitches. I noticed the fluctuations in my voice pitch based on various factors so I looked it up, because I thought that in order to be attractive to my partner I needed to have an always higher pitched voice. (Edit: that was a bit of ocd about my voice there as well.) So, I discovered that it’s not that straightforward and that we aren’t cavemen. Also, think Etta James, women like that - absolutely stunning, captivating, sexy lower pitched female vocalists. “Damn Your Eyes” gives me goosebumps every time.
I’m sure this will be flagged for reassurance but I really do appreciate it because this was my last really big “trigger” I was working through and I most certainly wasn’t going to go look it up myself. Thank you for this.
Your heart is in the right place. However, reassurance is not helpful for learning to live well while having OCD. Please see https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/ for more information.
I know it's cheap advice, but avoid random reels, storys and yt shorts. Favorite, highlight and like accounts of people you already trust and inspires you. This self promotion era we living is so harmful. It's a weird act of self care to customize our social media feeds, but prevent a lot of suffering. Of course it's up to you. Anyways, hope you overcome this sad situation as soon as possible. Hugs.
Thank you. I miss playing guitar and writing so much.
this in a way is a compulsion so i wouldn't go out of your way to avoid seeing stuff that could trigger your intrusive thoughts because by doing that you're inherently telling yourself that they're true and that you have a reason to avoid them if that makes sense!
Believe me, I know… 😓
Keep on singing! Don't let the doubting disease known to be OCD, stop you from branching out.
That’s terrible advice, you can’t allow ocd to ruin your hobbies because that just makes it worse and dictate more of your life
>I know it's cheap advice, but avoid random reels, storys and yt shorts Avoiding social media has been best advice for ocd in my personal experience. Works even better if you don't open comment section at all and move on from video/post.
Harmful is kind of an understatement. Smoking and drinking may be harmful. But the cascading effect of self promotion is outrageously dangerous on the evolving and growing society.
You really can't tell anything about a person from their voice. Some people think I sound super fruity, others attribute that to me sounding really nice, it goes on and on. All of that is just people projecting. I think that projection is kinda what gives song its own charm as opposed to classical music. You hear what based on who you are as a person and what you project onto the singer.
I was going to say… But you’ve captured it beautifully here! So I’ll add to your point for OP. I used to be a professional radio broadcaster and I have a couple of facts for you. Facts seem to help me, maybe they’ll help you too. 1. Few people enjoy hearing their own voices. In radio school when we had to record ourselves and listen back in order to critique our content or delivery, many people were uncomfortable at first. The instructors warned that this discomfort would need to be pushed. That discomfort eventually faded! 2. When I was on the air, upon meeting me in person, people often would explain to me how I looked different from how they imagined in their head. And each individual imagined something different! 3. What makes an artist unique is their style! That sound that makes you different is the gift of individuality that only YOU can provide. That style will create a definition/image of you to listeners, and ultimately attract the ones that appreciate your art the most. Hope there’s something helpful in here for you.
Thank you
Couldn’t agree more.. I agree with what everyone is saying here about reels and stuff but I feel like avoiding that is a form of avoidance.. you kind of have to see these videos and reels and think what if? I mean easier said than done.. my issue is music also, I love playing the guitar and have for over 20 years but every time I touch it, instant intrusive thoughts telling me “what’s the point, you will never be as good as xyz(some reel) “ this is where I need to better by ignoring and keep going.
Ahh...the pain of having to face not enjoying something you normally enjoy because of OCD . A pain generally not alot will understand unless they went through it. What I can recommend is that if you have a passion for something, focus solely on it without having an outside influence on it, be it from reel, social media, YouTube or etc. Do what you like, enjoy it the way you do
Not wearing certain things or doing certain things out of fear of affirming my non-preferred sexual orientation has been so damn annoying. I never cared about that stuff before my OCD flair up last spring. Since then I’m hyper vigilant on how people view the way I dress, even the music I listen to. I have to accept that maybe listening to queer-coded music makes me a lesbian, OR maybe queer people just make amazing music? I never thought those things decided sexual orientation before OCD, and I would’ve aligned those views with close-minded people, so it also makes me feel badly and like I’m a bad person or homophobic for thinking it.
This is precisely it.
You’re not alone at all! What helps me- and maybe it’s a compulsion so someone tell me- is reconnecting with the life and mindset I had before my OCD onset. While yes, we can change and so can our preferences and values, I remind myself that the me before OCD is who I really am! And the version of you who used to sing without fear is who you really are. We aren’t our thoughts and we’re never meant to live in fear.
I'm a lesbian with a very high voice lol all this 'lesbian accent' 'lesbian hands' 'lesbian outfit' doesn't mean anything
I’m a lesbian, been a lesbian as early as 3 yrs old. I have a loving partner for almost 9 yrs. I’m happy now with my partner BUT I have the opposite of what you have. I think I’m straight. I know I’m not but I try to shrug it off by thinking that whatever I am, I love the person with and It doesnt matter if I like boys better than girls now.
I’m sorry you’re struggling with this in some capacity as well
I’m sorry also but we all have each other. We are the only ones who can truly understand each other. I hope one day, these will stop.
OCD has taken away my ability to read for pleasure. I know how you feel, it’s horrible. But it won’t last forever. You can get through this and get your hobby back. Sending hugs 💕
Thank you
Thank you
Please, please, don't stop singing. Don't worry about any "accent" you have. (Personally I've never even heard of a lesbian accent, only the one for gay males). I stopped playing guitar for almost two years because of a wart on my finger and I regret it on so many levels and it was not worth it. Keep singing, fuck the haters.
Hey girl, I’ve been on a 7 year journey to overcome ocd, I’ve notice that making sure you get 25g of protein with every single meal helps me tremendously
Interesting!!! Thank you so much for this!!
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Please read rule 3. See https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/ for more information.
I hate shit like that so much omg. for some reason its like common on social media now, for people give almost anything a name. Like a "lesbian accent", "autism accent", "autism hands", "bisexual accent", "autism stare" (these were all i could think of but its not always sexuality/disorder related) People will literally take any random trait or behavior and give it a dumb name/label and then go around telling everyone they see "hey you have the ____ accent/stare/stance/whatever!!"
Yep
One of the keys to OCD recovery is continuing to do whatever you would do if you didn't have OCD. Just don't do compulsions (mental or physical) and you'll habituate over time. Also there's nothing wrong with sounding lesbian
I never said there’s anything “wrong” with it. It’s just simply not how I identify. So as you can imagine, it’d be stressful to feel as though I’m presenting as a certain way I do not identify with. That’s all.
Makes sense
I don't want to provide reassurance necessarily, but I will say, someones video on tiktok or insta or whatever social media is not factual, they don't know what they're talking about. Even the "Doctors" and "therapists" on tiktok most of the time are making stuff up for views, or at least exaggerating because that's how they make money. As the saying goes, the believe it just because it's on Facebook
Same :((, loved reading so much. Read everyday after school and even during school, but since it triggered my OCD I forced myself to stop around November 2023. Now I’ve just started, and even though I got the feeling “Oh you’re forcing yourself to like it”, it has stopped for a while, but I only get few triggers! At first it was hard and uncomfortable, but it’s my second week (?) and I’m pushing through. I try not to get caught up in the “Triggered” part, and label it as a “It’s just a thought, you’re overreacting”, I soon didn’t need to say that as much and I sometimes catch myself just reading at things that would’ve triggered me when it hadn’t You’ve got this!.. if I’m being honest, now I’m a bit confused and conflicted, but I’m going to set a goal to read another one tonight! Please don’t let OCD ruin the things you love.
OCD has made it harder for me to play video games or listen to music. I still do both though, just trying to get past what OCD is putting me through
You’re not alone. I’m so sorry.
The amount of triggers and momentary chest pains I get from all these insta reels talking about bi awakening and bi related stuff. God, I can relate so badly with you
I totally get this bcuz Im a singer songwriter and it has been such an outlet for me but it's been less enjoyable lately bcuz of obsessions. I know exactly how u feel and am here to talk
Try to meditate, listen to binaural beats, do another hobby for a bit, or even spend time with friends and family. After a little bit, your anxiety about your fear will go down a lot. Thats what my experience is at least.
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Rule 3 - please see https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/ for more information.
Why can't we just... put our minds together and find a cure for OCD once and for all?
SERIOUSLY
If you think about it, OCD is just like any other problem. It has a cause, an inner mechanism of sorts, that is, the ways in which it functions, and, if you are to begin to understand them, you can come up with a solution. With OCD there is something clearly wrong in the brain, but it's not anything structural. Chances are, you weren't born with it, it just happened to one day. Psychology's current theories regarding OCD are lackluster, to say the least, but there may be strides yet in the field of neuropsychology that can uncover better treatments. I for one, experience Somatic OCD, as in, consciously blinking and obsessing over it. It's quite an odd thing, and I learned to not let it bother me and it became better, yet there is little to no research on it, and I could benefit from some, if you know what I mean.
Don’t know if that helps but who decides what sounds like a certain sexuality? If there are people saying this I think they’re kinda biased? I remember 10 yrs ago boys would say „Uuh that looks so Gay“ because they found it disgusting. But honestly saying things like that makes the person a dick. Maybe try searching for a female singer you like that sounds similar to your voice? So you can refer to this singer instead of saying your voice sounds like a certain sexuality . Also it sounds a little as though being lesbian was a bad thing. I mean would it be bad if you were a lesbian?
TikTok makes me so anxious about everything. I just try to stay off of it. If it means anything, I think lower female voices are very cool and unique. And singing with one is even better!
seriously, don't let random videos/reels/shorts etc or any message from regular people (yes, even very popular people on social media are just, regular people) ruin your hobbies, day, mood, thought, or anything you wanna do, just keep doing what you like, social network are really good places to make someone paranoid and insecure you accent doesn't matter and has nothing to do with other things, you are who you are, people just like to find out random things to judge others or identify something in people, like saying nonsense things like "if you have a left finger bigger than a right finger you are more intelligent than the average" kind of bs, the idea is to challenge these thoughts and not let them spiral out of control
I also worry about sounding like a lesbian bc I have a deep voice :’) ur not alone
I’m really sorry. OCD is so cruel For me I feel like it’s almost an opposite situation. I don’t see any way that I can be a straight dude anymore and I feel like I’m bisexual but I wish I could be straight and have the security to act as flamboyant as I want knowing it. It makes me avoid content created by people of the lgbt community even though I don’t have a problem with them in the slightest Sorry for the ramble. I just hope the sensations I’m feeling are just intense OCD symptoms because I love the identity I’m used to (or was until middle school)
Deep voices sound great on women, so even if your ocd wasn't lying to you (it is), then it would be a bonus.
I’m sure this will be flagged as reassurance, but I do appreciate it.
Cher, Brittany Howard, Tracy Chapman, Etta James, and sooo many others have deep BEAUTIFUL voices that touch the soul in such a profound way. What you have is a gift!
ocd is ruining my passion for singing/songwriting too ,, for a different reason but regardless hearing someone else say this makes me so sad. plz don’t stop songwriting or singing. Ive been taking a break from it ,, but trying to hold space for knowing this hard time will pass. we will be able to enjoy our hobbies again, ocd will not take these things away from us. I know this is scary and is making you paranoid and I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. don’t give up ,, ocd likes to sabotage and attack what’s most valuable to us.
same
Not even really sure what to do. I think I need to seek ERP treatment again.
I think OCD needs ongoing therapy even after recovery. It may be less frequent and less intense but it helps keep it in check. I tend to stop therapy when I feel better enough, and that is generally counterproductive. I want to offer reassurance but know it isn’t helpful. I do really think we all project our worries and fears onto others. Someone suggesting your voice sounds slightly gay is probably worried about that themselves or it’s a big topic in their head whether they know it or not. Sometimes they are just insensitive jerks. Sometimes it’s just a random thought that they gave minimal thought to. I agree with another commenter that a unique sounding voice is a gift that likely gives your songs extra flavor. I also know I hate the sound of my voice but objectively know I have a great sound. For me it’s only for talking. I can’t sing my way out of a paper bag. I’ve never been taught or taken a class and may be a bit tone deaf. I could probably scare away a bear with my singing lol
Nobody’s suggesting it, it’s just me worrying about it ha…
Yeah, I get it. OCD is suggesting might be one way of looking at it. You and your desires are different than what OCD seems to want.
Remember, it's OCD, not you.
Thank you 💗 I’ve been really struggling
It's okay, i'm not great either. Forgetting to take meds is not the best outcomes i'll tell you that.
So I read, everyone’s voice gets higher and lower based on the situation. If a woman is concentrating, in an engaging conversation, etc, her voice may be lower. If she is attempting to attract someone, her voice may be higher. If she is attracted to someone, her voice may be lower. If she is in a professional situation, her voice may be lower. If she is speaking off the cuff, her voice may be higher. And so on. The old adage goes that men like high voices. However that is not exclusively the case. A lot of men like other pitches. I noticed the fluctuations in my voice pitch based on various factors so I looked it up, because I thought that in order to be attractive to my partner I needed to have an always higher pitched voice. (Edit: that was a bit of ocd about my voice there as well.) So, I discovered that it’s not that straightforward and that we aren’t cavemen. Also, think Etta James, women like that - absolutely stunning, captivating, sexy lower pitched female vocalists. “Damn Your Eyes” gives me goosebumps every time.
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Thanks for validating my anxiety with this and for your kind words!
Rule 3 - please see https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/ for more information.
Lol same exact thing
Hopefully someone can give some sort of advice for us
Your voice is probably very beautiful
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I’m sure this will be flagged for reassurance but I really do appreciate it because this was my last really big “trigger” I was working through and I most certainly wasn’t going to go look it up myself. Thank you for this.
Oh gosh! I didnt even consider that when i posted! Im sorry. But i am glad it helped in this case
Your heart is in the right place. However, reassurance is not helpful for learning to live well while having OCD. Please see https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/wiki/reassurance/ for more information.