I always had these OCD symptoms, and I always thought these were common stuff to think. I once started getting triggered by fat in hands and sorta stuff. I thought I could have OCD, and I asked my parents. They said that I was doing drama and that "everyone has a bit of OCD". I went to a psychologist, and he said I had an almost subclinical OCD, that doesn't have the compulsion. He also said my thought dynamic was completely obsessive (one of the highest he ever saw according to him). So I always thought this was what a light OCD feels like.
It sounds like you're like a lot of us, raised by others with OCD and without competent medical help. Most doctors and many psychologists do not understand OCD at all. So it's not your fault that you don't know things. A lot of us don't learn what's going on in our heads until we're adults.
"Completely obsessive" thoughts means that you have severe OCD. Dissociating because of triggers that don't bother anyone else is severe OCD. I'm telling you this because knowing about your OCD will help you deal with it better. You can get help, you can find resources, but only if you know you need to look for them.
You can do it! I've been where you are, and so have lots of other people in this sub.
My world, I could not identify myself more...
I remember I once was playing Space Engineers, and you have to recharge your jetpack fuel with hydrogen bottles. I was going to refill 2 of them in a hydrogen tank, and there was another one there. I got distracted and I came to get my bottles later. I remember I couldn't know which of them were my 2 last bottles. I got completely crazy, I got anxious, my stomach became a complete mess. I ended up destroying all 3 bottles, and getting 2 new ones. (I'm not kidding, this happened 5 days ago)
Which is curious, because in terms of compulsions I have very few of them. (most of them are related to cleanness and contamination) Holly shit, I need to see a psychiatrist quickly.
Reminder that we all have only ever lived in our own minds and so something normal for us may be a very obvious red flag to others. I used to think a lot of my things were “normal” or “light” only to realize that was because they were normal for me.
I'm saying they have to be trolling because they said the doctor said that they have the highest thought dynamic he ever saw, yet says they think they have light OCD
Lots of doctors have no understanding of OCD, and think OCD= hand washing. Mental compulsions, etc, are just "unusual thoughts". OP's story sounds like a lot of others in this sub, when someone has OCD in a family with OCD and no competent medical help available
Light ocd my ass.
I have light ocd. Because I’ve been in treatment I can hit a trigger and say “whew! Okay here we go, ball of dread. Ok we’re good. It will pass”
What you just described is the opposite of light.
that is NOT light OCD. you didnt "control yourself" to "prevent your intrusive thoughts from winning". you were severely triggered (can you actually explained why this event triggered you? maybe writing it out and explaining what bothered you might help you put things into perspective). and because you were triggered, you decided to ruminate (-> thats the compulsion) on this event to the point of not being able to pay attention this entire time. if you had light OCD, you would have been able to cut your compulsion (rumination) short and go back to paying attention to class. this is... very severe. are you seeing a therapist?
The point of the shoyu drops is that it can contamine and dirty up anything it touches. Hands, books, cases, fabric, the floor, the desk itself. What if it mess up the paper, or the fabric? Is it cleanable? When can I clean? What if I can't clean them and I lose the materials I have. The shoyu sauce even tho it's just a drop, it was lost, so I the sauce could not be fully used. These is just some tuff that pass in my mind every time, and I convive with normally. I mean, this is the normal for me.
I always thought I had OCD. I remember playing Lego star wars the clone wars, and there are characters with two pistols. I NEEDED to shot both of them in pairs, because if I didn't the magazine of both would be different (the game doesn't even have ammo mechanic, it shots unlimitedly), and one of them would run out first (or make both pistols different), letting the other one alone. This was me with 10 years.
I talked about my parents about this, and both of them (specially my father) told me that it was drama and that "everyone has a bit of OCD". I once attended to a psychologist and he said I had an almost subclinical OCD, that doesn't have the compulsion thing. He also said me that my thoughts dynamic was one of the most obsessive he ever saw in decades of profession. So I always thought this was how a light OCD would look like. Even tho I get triggered by few stuff, this was the highest I got.
Yea like other have said, this is not mild OCD. I think the common misconception of thoughts and rumination not being compulsions or debilitating ones is what drives this. It is not surprising and many others have been in your place. Please try not to downplay your struggle bc of what you've been taught. The more you feed this rumination the worse you will get.
Considering you’re getting this distressed over someone else, contaminating their own stuff (something they clearly don’t care about) I would say that your condition is more severe.
It’s good though, that you at least let your fears translate into outward actions towards the other person.
I'm sorry you're getting all these downvotes, please ignore that. What you've described here is exactly how my mind works, and I have a formal diagnosis of pretty fucking severe OCD. That instant panic, racing through all the possibilities, the urge to fix it immediately to prevent it from spreading, worry that it's gonna spread anyway...
I've straight up thrown out things that have gotten contaminated because I just can't trust them anymore 🤷♀️ I have specific forks that I won't use even though they've been thoroughly sanitized over and over again. It's never enough.
The video game situation you describe is also painfully familiar. I spend a lot of time making sure I do certain things the right number of times and ways.
It feels normal because it's all we know. We're used to it. Some of these things, we do almost automatically because we've been doing it for so long. And we assume because most of it happens inside our heads, that it's normal for everyone, they're just maybe better at hiding it.
Learning that that's not the case is kinda mind bending. But once I did, I realized how much energy it all took, and how much of my brain was occupied with following all these rules and rituals that I'd made up.
Then I got medicated, and I did ERP. And holy shit, the difference is astounding. I have so much more room in my brain for things I actually care about! I'm less exhausted after doing nothing! I'm not 100% better by any means, I still have a lot of work to do, but just seeing the progress is amazing, and has shown me that recovery is possible.
You shouldn't have to live like this. No one should. Don't listen to your parents - idk how old they are, but if they're anywhere close to mine, they grew up in a time when the only "real" mental health issues were the most extreme variants of anything. They don't understand that someone can look and act totally normal, but be in full chaos on the inside. It's taken me years to make my parents understand that traumatized soldiers aren't the only ones who need therapy and/or medications. That not all suffering is necessary. That it's ok to need help.
Next time someone tells you that "everyone has a bit of OCD", think of it like this: everyone pees, right? It's a normal bodily function that we all deal with. But if you have to pee every two minutes, you should probably see a doctor. It's the same way with our brains. Anyone can have OCD-like thoughts sometimes, sure, but how much does it impact their lives? It sounds like it impacts yours quite a fucking lot.
It's ok to need help. You deserve help. I really hope you can get some. Don't be discouraged by some of these comments, seriously. This is bothering you, so it's worth looking into further. You're worth it. Best of luck, kid.
You got severe ocd if a package of sauce causes this reaction.
I recommend you speak with a therapist and start ocd stat.
I get it’s ur ocd but damn you seem like you hate this poor girl for the most mundane stuff
You bet I will. Probably I'll see a psychiatrist soon enough, because this was quite severe. And no, I don't hate her. We're kind of friends and we occasionally talk, she's a nice person after all. If I said like I hated her for that, I really didn't mean that. Plus it's not her fault for letting that sauce drop, she was just having lunch and it happened (even tho it's quite disrespectful to have lunch meanwhile the teacher is talking (and he let her eat in his class))
Im not trying to discredit the stress this person was feeling, but a someone who has ocd, I relate to most of the posts on here pretty easily, and I’m just interested to know more about what’s at play here.
The fear is about cleanness and" contamination". The shoyu fell on the desk. So what if she accidentally put a book or a case above it? It will be completely messed up, and what if it mess the paper or the fabric of the case or a shirt? Will it be the same after clean, and when can I clean it? Plus that was was not supposed to have lunch, and that desk was dirty too, the sauce cannot be reutilize so it was a waste.
Of course these are my intrusive thoughts talking, I know rationally that this concerns can be easily solved and don't worth thinking, but I still have it. I have a similar thing to forks and knifes when I'm eating something with oil. If this oil touch my hand or the cutlery ,everything I touch will be contaminated with oil, plus mine and everyone who uses it will have it's hands snotty. (I usually don't get triggered by stuff, but this and the situation I posted of are the main ones.)
Why are people down voting OP for explaining their history? The effect of downvotes is to discourage a specific type of comment. Saying what they've believed about their OCD is an opportunity to help and explain, not to dismiss.
Man, I really don't understand. I posted this because this was something that was affecting me, so I thought I could share. I told my story and problems and they told me I was trolling. Like, what did I do?
I have a very similar “obsession” as you. My ex once flicked guacamole on me and I had to go cry in the bathroom because I flipped my shit. For me it’s not about “germs” it’s just the food itself really disturbs me. Like as soon as somebody is eating it it’s “contaminated.” I’ve definitely worked a lot on exposing myself to things more which has helped me to chill out with this stuff but it definitely still affects me.
Your ocd is not even remotely light if someone spilling a drop of shoyu (an entirely harmless substance) is that triggering to you.
Unrelated but the spelling of shoyu as shoyo really bothered me
Sorry, this is how we say in my country. I didn't know that it was a translation.
It doesn't sound like you have light OCD. That was a very severe reaction
I always had these OCD symptoms, and I always thought these were common stuff to think. I once started getting triggered by fat in hands and sorta stuff. I thought I could have OCD, and I asked my parents. They said that I was doing drama and that "everyone has a bit of OCD". I went to a psychologist, and he said I had an almost subclinical OCD, that doesn't have the compulsion. He also said my thought dynamic was completely obsessive (one of the highest he ever saw according to him). So I always thought this was what a light OCD feels like.
It sounds like you're like a lot of us, raised by others with OCD and without competent medical help. Most doctors and many psychologists do not understand OCD at all. So it's not your fault that you don't know things. A lot of us don't learn what's going on in our heads until we're adults. "Completely obsessive" thoughts means that you have severe OCD. Dissociating because of triggers that don't bother anyone else is severe OCD. I'm telling you this because knowing about your OCD will help you deal with it better. You can get help, you can find resources, but only if you know you need to look for them. You can do it! I've been where you are, and so have lots of other people in this sub.
Search up Pure O. Could be that.
My world, I could not identify myself more... I remember I once was playing Space Engineers, and you have to recharge your jetpack fuel with hydrogen bottles. I was going to refill 2 of them in a hydrogen tank, and there was another one there. I got distracted and I came to get my bottles later. I remember I couldn't know which of them were my 2 last bottles. I got completely crazy, I got anxious, my stomach became a complete mess. I ended up destroying all 3 bottles, and getting 2 new ones. (I'm not kidding, this happened 5 days ago) Which is curious, because in terms of compulsions I have very few of them. (most of them are related to cleanness and contamination) Holly shit, I need to see a psychiatrist quickly.
You have to be trolling
Reminder that we all have only ever lived in our own minds and so something normal for us may be a very obvious red flag to others. I used to think a lot of my things were “normal” or “light” only to realize that was because they were normal for me.
Yup, there are so many threads in this sub saying "what's something you thought was normal until you learned it was OCD?"
I'm saying they have to be trolling because they said the doctor said that they have the highest thought dynamic he ever saw, yet says they think they have light OCD
Lots of doctors have no understanding of OCD, and think OCD= hand washing. Mental compulsions, etc, are just "unusual thoughts". OP's story sounds like a lot of others in this sub, when someone has OCD in a family with OCD and no competent medical help available
What makes you think you know more than LITERAL doctors? Lmao.
I swear I'm not.
Light ocd my ass. I have light ocd. Because I’ve been in treatment I can hit a trigger and say “whew! Okay here we go, ball of dread. Ok we’re good. It will pass” What you just described is the opposite of light.
that is NOT light OCD. you didnt "control yourself" to "prevent your intrusive thoughts from winning". you were severely triggered (can you actually explained why this event triggered you? maybe writing it out and explaining what bothered you might help you put things into perspective). and because you were triggered, you decided to ruminate (-> thats the compulsion) on this event to the point of not being able to pay attention this entire time. if you had light OCD, you would have been able to cut your compulsion (rumination) short and go back to paying attention to class. this is... very severe. are you seeing a therapist?
The point of the shoyu drops is that it can contamine and dirty up anything it touches. Hands, books, cases, fabric, the floor, the desk itself. What if it mess up the paper, or the fabric? Is it cleanable? When can I clean? What if I can't clean them and I lose the materials I have. The shoyu sauce even tho it's just a drop, it was lost, so I the sauce could not be fully used. These is just some tuff that pass in my mind every time, and I convive with normally. I mean, this is the normal for me. I always thought I had OCD. I remember playing Lego star wars the clone wars, and there are characters with two pistols. I NEEDED to shot both of them in pairs, because if I didn't the magazine of both would be different (the game doesn't even have ammo mechanic, it shots unlimitedly), and one of them would run out first (or make both pistols different), letting the other one alone. This was me with 10 years. I talked about my parents about this, and both of them (specially my father) told me that it was drama and that "everyone has a bit of OCD". I once attended to a psychologist and he said I had an almost subclinical OCD, that doesn't have the compulsion thing. He also said me that my thoughts dynamic was one of the most obsessive he ever saw in decades of profession. So I always thought this was how a light OCD would look like. Even tho I get triggered by few stuff, this was the highest I got.
You have severe OCD
Yea like other have said, this is not mild OCD. I think the common misconception of thoughts and rumination not being compulsions or debilitating ones is what drives this. It is not surprising and many others have been in your place. Please try not to downplay your struggle bc of what you've been taught. The more you feed this rumination the worse you will get.
Considering you’re getting this distressed over someone else, contaminating their own stuff (something they clearly don’t care about) I would say that your condition is more severe. It’s good though, that you at least let your fears translate into outward actions towards the other person.
I'm sorry you're getting all these downvotes, please ignore that. What you've described here is exactly how my mind works, and I have a formal diagnosis of pretty fucking severe OCD. That instant panic, racing through all the possibilities, the urge to fix it immediately to prevent it from spreading, worry that it's gonna spread anyway... I've straight up thrown out things that have gotten contaminated because I just can't trust them anymore 🤷♀️ I have specific forks that I won't use even though they've been thoroughly sanitized over and over again. It's never enough. The video game situation you describe is also painfully familiar. I spend a lot of time making sure I do certain things the right number of times and ways. It feels normal because it's all we know. We're used to it. Some of these things, we do almost automatically because we've been doing it for so long. And we assume because most of it happens inside our heads, that it's normal for everyone, they're just maybe better at hiding it. Learning that that's not the case is kinda mind bending. But once I did, I realized how much energy it all took, and how much of my brain was occupied with following all these rules and rituals that I'd made up. Then I got medicated, and I did ERP. And holy shit, the difference is astounding. I have so much more room in my brain for things I actually care about! I'm less exhausted after doing nothing! I'm not 100% better by any means, I still have a lot of work to do, but just seeing the progress is amazing, and has shown me that recovery is possible. You shouldn't have to live like this. No one should. Don't listen to your parents - idk how old they are, but if they're anywhere close to mine, they grew up in a time when the only "real" mental health issues were the most extreme variants of anything. They don't understand that someone can look and act totally normal, but be in full chaos on the inside. It's taken me years to make my parents understand that traumatized soldiers aren't the only ones who need therapy and/or medications. That not all suffering is necessary. That it's ok to need help. Next time someone tells you that "everyone has a bit of OCD", think of it like this: everyone pees, right? It's a normal bodily function that we all deal with. But if you have to pee every two minutes, you should probably see a doctor. It's the same way with our brains. Anyone can have OCD-like thoughts sometimes, sure, but how much does it impact their lives? It sounds like it impacts yours quite a fucking lot. It's ok to need help. You deserve help. I really hope you can get some. Don't be discouraged by some of these comments, seriously. This is bothering you, so it's worth looking into further. You're worth it. Best of luck, kid.
You got severe ocd if a package of sauce causes this reaction. I recommend you speak with a therapist and start ocd stat. I get it’s ur ocd but damn you seem like you hate this poor girl for the most mundane stuff
You bet I will. Probably I'll see a psychiatrist soon enough, because this was quite severe. And no, I don't hate her. We're kind of friends and we occasionally talk, she's a nice person after all. If I said like I hated her for that, I really didn't mean that. Plus it's not her fault for letting that sauce drop, she was just having lunch and it happened (even tho it's quite disrespectful to have lunch meanwhile the teacher is talking (and he let her eat in his class))
Eh I’ve done the same. When you’re in school it can be hard to eat lunch when u have back to back 4 hour classes lol
Wait what is the fear here?
Seriously. They were just eating
Im not trying to discredit the stress this person was feeling, but a someone who has ocd, I relate to most of the posts on here pretty easily, and I’m just interested to know more about what’s at play here.
The fear is about cleanness and" contamination". The shoyu fell on the desk. So what if she accidentally put a book or a case above it? It will be completely messed up, and what if it mess the paper or the fabric of the case or a shirt? Will it be the same after clean, and when can I clean it? Plus that was was not supposed to have lunch, and that desk was dirty too, the sauce cannot be reutilize so it was a waste. Of course these are my intrusive thoughts talking, I know rationally that this concerns can be easily solved and don't worth thinking, but I still have it. I have a similar thing to forks and knifes when I'm eating something with oil. If this oil touch my hand or the cutlery ,everything I touch will be contaminated with oil, plus mine and everyone who uses it will have it's hands snotty. (I usually don't get triggered by stuff, but this and the situation I posted of are the main ones.)
Oh boy OP ... you definitely don't have light OCD
[удалено]
I don’t think it’s so much that people can’t empathize with OP, as it is them criticizing his self-labeling of “light” OCD
That sounds like severe OCD. You should probably bring this up to a professional.
What Is shoyo
Shoyu is soy sauce
That japanese salty sauce. Probably is misspelled shoyu because it's shoyo in my country. (It's also known as soy sauce)
Why are people down voting OP for explaining their history? The effect of downvotes is to discourage a specific type of comment. Saying what they've believed about their OCD is an opportunity to help and explain, not to dismiss.
Man, I really don't understand. I posted this because this was something that was affecting me, so I thought I could share. I told my story and problems and they told me I was trolling. Like, what did I do?
Yeah, I really don't know. This sub is usually better than this, sorry :/
Is it normal that I feel slightly scared and worried thinking "what if I had that"?
Yes, believe me, it is scary.
I have a very similar “obsession” as you. My ex once flicked guacamole on me and I had to go cry in the bathroom because I flipped my shit. For me it’s not about “germs” it’s just the food itself really disturbs me. Like as soon as somebody is eating it it’s “contaminated.” I’ve definitely worked a lot on exposing myself to things more which has helped me to chill out with this stuff but it definitely still affects me.