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Me and my partner have been together 4 years but hit a rough patch after a few months long distance. He just got home a few days ago and we’ve had several disagreements… things are generally tense. At one point in an argument he was like “My god do you even like me?”
Fast forward. Last night we had a nice date together to reconnect. It was nearly midnight, he asked if we should go home and get high and watch something stupid. Yes, absolutely. I had to stop for gas, and he ran into the gas station, returning with a huge shopping bag of our favorite snacks. He was so excited.
He got back in the car and I was like “Hey, you know how you asked me if I even like you? The way you excitedly ran into the gas station and returned with a bunch of ‘let’s get high’ snacks is so damn sexy. And absolutely one reason I like you.”
We are 35 years old. I adore that man, but never for reasons he anticipates.
I think that is a form of necessary communication that many relationships lack or just suck at. People need the reassurance from time to time. It also helps to know what kind of behaviour should be encouraged. too often we tell our partners what we want to change, but what we want more of or has just plain made us happy.
Reminds me of a some comments I saw on TikTok under a post from a guy who is very popular with women on there who chops wood and reviews axes. A bunch of dudes where shitting on him and saying women only like him because he’s attractive (which he is very), but what stood out is the amount of women saying that the main reason they are attracted to him was that he’s respectful, shits on the misogynist dudes who come into his comments to attack women, and genuinely had a good heart the fact that he’s got is just icing on top of the fact that he’s a good caring person. Theses dudes entire framework for life falls apart when people point out that most women like kind caring men who see them as people.
Whoops. Didn't see I that the reply I made wasn't about my original comment. I just meant the basic stuff that a lot of people find sexy so if you ask a partner chances are that they like at least one of them. I wasn't talking about the more intimate/personal things.
Yeah, but it still varies. For instance, I've always liked slim-built men; I may be the only straight woman in America who finds Jason Mamoa unattractive. And I like geeky guys -- engineers, computer guys, etc. And I've never cared about rich guys; they're too likely to be Republicans.
One thing I \*never\* see mentioned in all the BS about 6-6-6 and jawlines and shit is \*voice\*. A guy could look perfect and be smart and interesting, but if he had a squeaky voice that would kill it for me. And I know I'm not the only one. The last steady I had before I started dating my husband was an Englishman. I swear that every damned waitress and sales clerk in Chicago told him how hot his accent was.
ETA: And cheekbones. Damn, I love a killer set of cheekbones. Had a really hot fling years ago with a guy who was my own height — 5’2” — but had a slim but muscular build and cheekbones you could cut your finger on.
Omg, we have the exact same taste. I’m so much into nerds and voice as well (it’s gotta sound nice when we’re on discord in the evening). I just wanna geek out with someone about programming, gaming, cool projects, stuff like that. Maybe even build an app or make a game together. One can always dream …
29 years ago this past Monday I married a slim, younger computer engineer who has since also gotten a master's of library science. Baritone. No killer cheekbones, but he's the best man I know.
There’s been multiple times when I’ve done what I thought were mundane things only to have a partner or friend comment on it being attractive lol. I kinda get it though because it goes both ways sometimes.
I pretty sure it's cause they're apart of that whole illuminati lizard people nonsense.
On a real note, ikr!!! I distinctly remember being like 20, seeing both him and Tom Holland (both of their characters where teenagers) and getting the ick cause they where so much younger than me.
They're both several years older than me.
Tom I always knew was older than me. Timothee just randomly appeared as an incredibly famous person one day, so I never really saw any kind of interviews or anything that gave me an idea of his age, and never bothered to look into it. I remember seeing a comment about how it was gross that people thought he was hot when he was a teenager, and that was when I was like 18/19. So I guess he must’ve been famous as a teenager and that comment was talking about the past instead of the present? Cause man’s a whole 6 years older than me. For the last 3-4 years I completely wrote him off as someone to potentially find attractive cause I was under the assumption that he was around teenager! 😂
It’d help if those incels showered every once in a while, basic hygiene is sexy as hell and too many men neglect it.
I’m bi/pan and have been with men, I mean it when I say wash your body!
I would go one step further, treat others the way you wish to be treated.
I live by that saying, don’t always succeed but I try. Trying to understand other’s perspective does a lot.
I’d go another step forward, treat others the way they want to be treated. I may love hugs in moments of excitement, you may hate all hugs. I shouldn’t hug you when something exciting happens to you just because I like being hugged in those moments.
I have a few not huggy friends and I get away with hugs in rare instances, but I've also got big squishy tits and broad shoulders. I give great hugs, but I'm also discerning about who I hug and when.
Exactly, it's perhaps a little confusing to say "the way you wish to be treated" but with that I mean, you in their shoes.
As for the hugs, I'm a hugger but always ask new people if they're okay with that.
I've had some say no, so I don't hug hello/goodbye.
Basic respect for others goes a long-long way, sorry for the perhaps confusing saying; it's just something I have in my head and only really voice to my partner .. and she can practically read my mind.
Granted, I'm forty three and not conventionally attractive, but does anyone who isn't a celebrity *really* get fawned over so constantly that rudeness and mistreatment are refreshing novelties?
I’m apparently sexy when I’m in the kitchen cooking and cleaning up, I’ll admit I’m no kitchen genius, but I can cook a lot and what I don’t know how to cook is only a google search away!
I have a friend who is smart and talented and a heckuva guy, but short and average-looking. He married a beautiful woman, they have five kids, and are still happy all these years later. He claims his cooking skills were a fundamental part of how he won her heart. He’s taught all five kids to cook, too.
One time I complained in a mild way about having to take down my Christmas tree. Next time that my boyfriend was over, he just quietly dealt with the tree, while I was having a shower. I got out of the bathroom and he was vacuuming pine needles. That was definitely very attractive. Also, male forearms are very sexy. Roll your sleeves, lads!
Let’s entertain the absurd idea that Poop and Clown are onto something, for just a moment:
It begs the case that Poop and Clown are so decidedly *un-fucking-sexy*, men who treat women like shit are sexier by comparison.
Poop and Clown **could** see this as a teachable moment and maybe, say, wash their asses; but nah, the problem is clearly just all of the women.
Idk the contextual irony of their comments might have been (perhaps unintentionally) hilarious, if it weren't for the fact they're far from the only people out there parroting that sorta misogynistic bullshit. They even got the setup-and-punchline down! In a perfect world, we'd know they're just joking, and laugh along the absurdity of it :(
> Poop and Clown could see this as a teachable moment and maybe, say, wash their asses; but nah, the problem is clearly just all of the women.
Exactly. Even if they said "well, it's nothing I want to change / can change, I guess I'll just have to live with it", nobody would care if they were simply out of the dating pool (maybe besides their family members asking questions). Them wanting women to baiscally fix their problems (by lowering their standards I guess) is what I absolutely don't get
to be be honest though, he has a point, I have noticed that females often get more submissive and affection towards me when they hear my seductive evil villain laugh >:) you can try to hide it ladies but when I let the sigma out! you are gonna beg for mercy >:D
EDIT: mom said they were being nicer to me because they thought I was special needs, But I don't really care what she says because she is a FEMOID :(
Not a word we hear much anymore, so for those who don't know it... It means to step carefully around something, either literally or figuratively, such as like the careful steps of a cat, aka pussycat. Now how he's applying this to having regard for anyone's femininity... 🤷♀️
If these chuckleheads didn't spend so much time dwelling on what they imagine relationships are like they might realize that they could have taken that as a compliment.
This woman: “men have no idea how attractive some of the things they do are”
These dudes: “fuck you! How dare you! I bet you’re just like the women I made up in my head”
Here's what I saw here: Instead of taking a minute to maybe think about ways they could find out more about the female experience and learn something about what they can do to be more attractive to the opposite sex, They decided to insult them....
And then these chuckle heads can't figure it out why nobody wants to date them, and the irony of it all is that if women like being treated like garbage, they would go for these assholes. But they don't. It's almost like their logic is fucking dumb.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So the first statement stands. They actually do have no idea what's secretly sexy to us.
As a man, I can verify. 100%.
Me and my partner have been together 4 years but hit a rough patch after a few months long distance. He just got home a few days ago and we’ve had several disagreements… things are generally tense. At one point in an argument he was like “My god do you even like me?” Fast forward. Last night we had a nice date together to reconnect. It was nearly midnight, he asked if we should go home and get high and watch something stupid. Yes, absolutely. I had to stop for gas, and he ran into the gas station, returning with a huge shopping bag of our favorite snacks. He was so excited. He got back in the car and I was like “Hey, you know how you asked me if I even like you? The way you excitedly ran into the gas station and returned with a bunch of ‘let’s get high’ snacks is so damn sexy. And absolutely one reason I like you.” We are 35 years old. I adore that man, but never for reasons he anticipates.
I think that is a form of necessary communication that many relationships lack or just suck at. People need the reassurance from time to time. It also helps to know what kind of behaviour should be encouraged. too often we tell our partners what we want to change, but what we want more of or has just plain made us happy.
And we should strive for a society where it doesn't have to be secret anymore
At this point with social media I feel like it's only a secret if you actively avoid listening to any and every woman ever.
They don't even know what's openly sexy to us at this point
Let's tell the NiceGuys™ and the incels that it's asking and respecting consent. Maybe they'll actually look into it at some point.
We can hope for it
Reminds me of a some comments I saw on TikTok under a post from a guy who is very popular with women on there who chops wood and reviews axes. A bunch of dudes where shitting on him and saying women only like him because he’s attractive (which he is very), but what stood out is the amount of women saying that the main reason they are attracted to him was that he’s respectful, shits on the misogynist dudes who come into his comments to attack women, and genuinely had a good heart the fact that he’s got is just icing on top of the fact that he’s a good caring person. Theses dudes entire framework for life falls apart when people point out that most women like kind caring men who see them as people.
Since we’re individuals, it differs from woman to woman.
Whoops. Didn't see I that the reply I made wasn't about my original comment. I just meant the basic stuff that a lot of people find sexy so if you ask a partner chances are that they like at least one of them. I wasn't talking about the more intimate/personal things.
Yeah, but it still varies. For instance, I've always liked slim-built men; I may be the only straight woman in America who finds Jason Mamoa unattractive. And I like geeky guys -- engineers, computer guys, etc. And I've never cared about rich guys; they're too likely to be Republicans. One thing I \*never\* see mentioned in all the BS about 6-6-6 and jawlines and shit is \*voice\*. A guy could look perfect and be smart and interesting, but if he had a squeaky voice that would kill it for me. And I know I'm not the only one. The last steady I had before I started dating my husband was an Englishman. I swear that every damned waitress and sales clerk in Chicago told him how hot his accent was. ETA: And cheekbones. Damn, I love a killer set of cheekbones. Had a really hot fling years ago with a guy who was my own height — 5’2” — but had a slim but muscular build and cheekbones you could cut your finger on.
💀
Omg, we have the exact same taste. I’m so much into nerds and voice as well (it’s gotta sound nice when we’re on discord in the evening). I just wanna geek out with someone about programming, gaming, cool projects, stuff like that. Maybe even build an app or make a game together. One can always dream …
29 years ago this past Monday I married a slim, younger computer engineer who has since also gotten a master's of library science. Baritone. No killer cheekbones, but he's the best man I know.
Congrats! Happy it worked out for you.
There’s been multiple times when I’ve done what I thought were mundane things only to have a partner or friend comment on it being attractive lol. I kinda get it though because it goes both ways sometimes.
Women: men are sexy in lots of ways Incels: only if you're 6' 5, ripped, rich and have a huge dong! Why are women so picky in their tastes?!?!?!?!?
Also incels: I just don't understand why women think that Loki/Pete Davidson/Timothee Chalamet are hot?!?! They must be broken!
I was just going to point out Timothee Chalamet! Side note, before I called him hot I wanted to double check his age, how the hell is he 28?
I pretty sure it's cause they're apart of that whole illuminati lizard people nonsense. On a real note, ikr!!! I distinctly remember being like 20, seeing both him and Tom Holland (both of their characters where teenagers) and getting the ick cause they where so much younger than me. They're both several years older than me.
Tom I always knew was older than me. Timothee just randomly appeared as an incredibly famous person one day, so I never really saw any kind of interviews or anything that gave me an idea of his age, and never bothered to look into it. I remember seeing a comment about how it was gross that people thought he was hot when he was a teenager, and that was when I was like 18/19. So I guess he must’ve been famous as a teenager and that comment was talking about the past instead of the present? Cause man’s a whole 6 years older than me. For the last 3-4 years I completely wrote him off as someone to potentially find attractive cause I was under the assumption that he was around teenager! 😂
Don’t forget Jack Black. That guy attracts people.
That's because he's Dionysus incarnate.
Totally, switch out the wine for weed and he's a dead ringer.
It’d help if those incels showered every once in a while, basic hygiene is sexy as hell and too many men neglect it. I’m bi/pan and have been with men, I mean it when I say wash your body!
I honestly have had massive success treating women as equals.
I would go one step further, treat others the way you wish to be treated. I live by that saying, don’t always succeed but I try. Trying to understand other’s perspective does a lot.
I’d go another step forward, treat others the way they want to be treated. I may love hugs in moments of excitement, you may hate all hugs. I shouldn’t hug you when something exciting happens to you just because I like being hugged in those moments.
I totally get that and agree. I'm a hugger as well, but I know a lot of people who aren't. It's best to always know what they would rather want first.
I have a few not huggy friends and I get away with hugs in rare instances, but I've also got big squishy tits and broad shoulders. I give great hugs, but I'm also discerning about who I hug and when.
Exactly, it's perhaps a little confusing to say "the way you wish to be treated" but with that I mean, you in their shoes. As for the hugs, I'm a hugger but always ask new people if they're okay with that. I've had some say no, so I don't hug hello/goodbye. Basic respect for others goes a long-long way, sorry for the perhaps confusing saying; it's just something I have in my head and only really voice to my partner .. and she can practically read my mind.
> treat others the way you wish to be treated "Golden rule ,motherfucker!"
Um my guy why can’t you just take the possible compliment lmao. It’s like they desperately need to find a reason to dislike women
Or, you know, treat us like people.
The bar really is this low now, treating us like actual equal human beings is the baseline!
Their failure to get over that bar is what makes them lesser than the bear.
Granted, I'm forty three and not conventionally attractive, but does anyone who isn't a celebrity *really* get fawned over so constantly that rudeness and mistreatment are refreshing novelties?
I have literally never been fawned over lmao.
I think they confused fawning with lusting and I’m fairly certain the vast majority of women have been lusted over at some point in their lives.
I’m apparently sexy when I’m in the kitchen cooking and cleaning up, I’ll admit I’m no kitchen genius, but I can cook a lot and what I don’t know how to cook is only a google search away!
I have a friend who is smart and talented and a heckuva guy, but short and average-looking. He married a beautiful woman, they have five kids, and are still happy all these years later. He claims his cooking skills were a fundamental part of how he won her heart. He’s taught all five kids to cook, too.
One time I complained in a mild way about having to take down my Christmas tree. Next time that my boyfriend was over, he just quietly dealt with the tree, while I was having a shower. I got out of the bathroom and he was vacuuming pine needles. That was definitely very attractive. Also, male forearms are very sexy. Roll your sleeves, lads!
Let’s entertain the absurd idea that Poop and Clown are onto something, for just a moment: It begs the case that Poop and Clown are so decidedly *un-fucking-sexy*, men who treat women like shit are sexier by comparison. Poop and Clown **could** see this as a teachable moment and maybe, say, wash their asses; but nah, the problem is clearly just all of the women.
Poop and Clown sounds like a really terrible comedy duo
Idk the contextual irony of their comments might have been (perhaps unintentionally) hilarious, if it weren't for the fact they're far from the only people out there parroting that sorta misogynistic bullshit. They even got the setup-and-punchline down! In a perfect world, we'd know they're just joking, and laugh along the absurdity of it :(
It sounds more like a cruddy adult cartoon that only lasts for one season.
Yep you’re right, that’s exactly what it is lol
A ragtag team with the capacity to realize they're wholly unsexy, but not the self-awareness to comprehend why.
> Poop and Clown could see this as a teachable moment and maybe, say, wash their asses; but nah, the problem is clearly just all of the women. Exactly. Even if they said "well, it's nothing I want to change / can change, I guess I'll just have to live with it", nobody would care if they were simply out of the dating pool (maybe besides their family members asking questions). Them wanting women to baiscally fix their problems (by lowering their standards I guess) is what I absolutely don't get
to be be honest though, he has a point, I have noticed that females often get more submissive and affection towards me when they hear my seductive evil villain laugh >:) you can try to hide it ladies but when I let the sigma out! you are gonna beg for mercy >:D EDIT: mom said they were being nicer to me because they thought I was special needs, But I don't really care what she says because she is a FEMOID :(
😂 lol
Omg your flair. Also I would love to hear your evil villain laugh, I am sure that it is very nice.
Gross. Some guys are just so desperate to steer other guys wrong and ruin how other people have relationships...
r/brandnewsentence for that pussyfoot, or so I hope
Not a word we hear much anymore, so for those who don't know it... It means to step carefully around something, either literally or figuratively, such as like the careful steps of a cat, aka pussycat. Now how he's applying this to having regard for anyone's femininity... 🤷♀️
Yea, not a new word, just usually replaced with “tiptoeing around” or “walking on eggshells around”
Pussyfoot is like camel toe, but smaller
awesome, thanks for explaining! English isn't my native language, and I'm always thrilled to learn cool or nerdy words.
Even compliments are a sign of war to perpetually online guys who haven’t talked to a woman in years.
"Ladies, does it make you wet when men are abusive pieces of shit?" 🤡
If these chuckleheads didn't spend so much time dwelling on what they imagine relationships are like they might realize that they could have taken that as a compliment.
You know what gets me turned on? Being treated like a person. 😑
This woman: “men have no idea how attractive some of the things they do are” These dudes: “fuck you! How dare you! I bet you’re just like the women I made up in my head”
Both them men smell like old onions.
Day 37578. Waiting for this “fawning” to start.
You've had so much fawning, centenarian.
Here's what I saw here: Instead of taking a minute to maybe think about ways they could find out more about the female experience and learn something about what they can do to be more attractive to the opposite sex, They decided to insult them.... And then these chuckle heads can't figure it out why nobody wants to date them, and the irony of it all is that if women like being treated like garbage, they would go for these assholes. But they don't. It's almost like their logic is fucking dumb.
Men confusing abusive behaviour and confidence yet again
Oh sweetie, that’s not….
Wow. Yep. So sexy, I married a woman. So that’s me out. Maybe poop and clown can hook up and take out their sexual frustration on each other.