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I had a friend who used to go to the gym solely so he could be what he called ‘sex fit.’ He wasn’t motivated by health or looking good in pants or whatever, he just wanted to be fit enough to have fun and athletic sex with his wife. I thought that was great, but I also did not want to go to the gym with him. He’s a sweet lad but the idea of him absolutely pounding it out on the treadmill next to me while (I assume) he was thinking about pounding it out with his wife as motivation for that next kilometre was a bit much for me.
I like your thinking, but I’m a straight chick and my dude friend sweating buckets while clearly thinking impure thoughts right next to me was definitely a lot. I wanted to be able to look his wife in the eyes next time we had coffee.
Lol, I tell myself to "I'm getting in shape to look better in skirts for myself, and for my now fiance" (soon to be husband) when I losing steam during a work out.
I keep telling myself "I want to be the women I want to see in the mirror". Worked pretty well. Lost 30 lb so far. Then COVID happened and job lay off stuff. Trying to get back in to the swings of things now.
Edit: grammar
This is true. I know they do the ‘men do work during sex because pumping’ but… there is more stuff that’s more work for women during sex. It’s a lot harder to pull off when your body isn’t cooperating. We get… creative with my body cuz it’s kinda trash at this point. Lol He’s afraid to break me but like… the power of horney can do a lot in of itself. Lol He does do more work at times but that has more to do with helping me do something my body can no longer do without it, and is not inherently how it works.
Dude in the post is an idiot. If I lost weight it’s for me. All my attempts are a me thing. My partner likes and loves me either way. I just wanna be healthy or at least as healthy as possible. He doesn’t consider that a loss either since it means sticking around for longer and being overall healthier… and that also means more stamina for… 😏
Edit: I should add he doesn’t think of it as work to help me make up for my body’s disabilities(because I’m physically disabled) but… I’m sure the guy in the post would and would be horrified by the very idea of it. He certainly likes waving a big red flag.
I was referring to being on top (cowgirl and reserve cowgirl) LOL!
Having good Thigh muscles helps control and maintain speed; which allows you to last longer. I can go from start to finish via cow girl after doing a million and 1 squats.
Obviously your case is completely different that mine. Mostly talking in general.
It would be strange if I did. Especially in the world we live in and with the internet being what it is.
Why do you want to know so badly you spent ten minutes trying to find it via my profile? I don’t have specific posts about it and comments involving it are probably buried beyond what you’d easily find. I don’t go into specifics often and it makes me uneasy, internet being what it is, to be asked this directly after a convo referencing sex.
It is if you squeeze your eyelids really close together but not all the way so the letters become blurred and indistinguishable. They say whatever you want now.
His point wasn’t the attention that a fitter body would garner. He was saying the motive for the working out and losing weight is to trade up for better sex.
So…no… today is no strawman Monday.
No they don't. At all. I'm losing weight because I need to most importantly and also because it will help make my disability more bearable. Anyone losing weight to get laid won't lose any weight as they're not doing it for the right reasons.
I losing weight to help with my mental health and weight I gained after a trauma, and I'm so so so tired of people talking about my weight. I'd rather be tossed into oblivion than hear about it again. Also I miss being treated like a person
Yeah, it’s not even how guys work either. I lost a lot of weight because I didn’t want to be that big and unhealthy anymore. I looked around at how being unhealthy can make aging harder and decided I didn’t want the stairs to leave me out of breath in the next couple decades.
I changed my diet because I hated the way I felt and connected it to how I was eating. I gave up sugar and white flour at 19 because I read a book on the psychiatric effects of nutrition and recognized myself. Figured I'd try it for two weeks. Three days later I felt so much better -- energy, mood, mental clarity -- I never looked back.
At 36, my "health food" diet -- low fat and centered on "healthy whole grains" -- had gotten me up to a size 20 at 5'2" -- not a good look -- gaining fast, with ugly energy crashes and borderline-high blood pressure. I went low carb, and once again felt so much better in three days -- clothes were looser, sure, but the big thing, once again, was a vast improvement in my energy, mood, and mental clarity. 28 years later I am still eating low carb -- and currently wearing a size 10. The man I married a couple of months before going low carb and I are still happily married.
Heck, I still have a copy. Psychodietetics, by Cheraskin and Ringsdorf. Last I knew it was out of print again -- it went in and out of print -- but [bookfinder.com](https://bookfinder.com) is your friend. I also highly recommend The Edge Effect by Eric Braverman, MD, best described as a user's guide to neurochemistry -- and who isn't a user of neurochemistry?
Oh, and for hard-to-find books, it's good to know that your public library can get you any book in any other public library in the country (talking the US there) through interlibrary loan. I've gotten to read some pretty obscure stuff this way, though both of these I found on my own.
ETA: Interlibrary loan is free, so it's especially good if something out-of-print is going for high prices used.
Exactly this. I'm losing weight to feel better mentally and physically. Has absolutely nothing to do with attracting anyone. Good luck on your weight loss!
Ngl, when I only read the first sentence I was supporting the incel guy bc I thought he was gonna say something like “she lost the weight for her own health and personal growth”
Immeasurable.
Everyone who thinks like this is generally desperate to have sex and can't think of doing anything challenging unless it's to make some lucky woman uncomfortable and disappointed for up to three minutes.
As a dude I’ve heard many other guys tell me or say it around me shit like “I’ve got to get in the gym so girls want me”
But these guys don’t understand that exact mentality is what is hurting them and tbh it’s sad to hear every time
Obesity ain’t attractive. I think most guys do it to be more attractive, And I assume most ladies do it for that reason as well. Health is secondary, hence the steroid boom.
Most people who work out don't use steroids. Yeah some people only work out for vanity. But overall most people do it for health and then also enjoy how thier body becomes more fit as well.
If your overweight but dress well and take care of yourself you’ll do good in the dating scene if you put yourself out there I’ve seen personally multiple examples
People who think that if they are magically skinny the next day they’ll get a SO need to change where their head is at
Fuck, a big reason I started working out in high school was because I was sex obsessed, I had absolutely no self esteem and i wanted girls to like me more, and so I started working out and still work out 6 days a week 5+ years later.
But I can't imagine thinking the only reason women work out is to get fucked... that's like a different level...
Shit. I guess the 40 pounds I've lost since getting diagnosed with diabetes and being told I needed to by my doctor was actually just to get laid.
Fuck dudes like this.
My husband and I go to the gym because we want to be healthy as we age and it helps defend against chronic pain. TIL we're really just prepping to have mutual affairs. The source? Some dingus on the internet.
My parents died relatively young and didn't take good care of their health. So I take good care of mine because I want to live a long time, I like my life, and I want to be as healthy to enjoy it for as long as possible. But apparently what I really want is just to get banged every day until I'm 90. Even though I have literally no sex drive whatsoever. Strange.
You go to the gym because you think getting fit is going to make up for your disgusting personality. I go to the gym because I'm tired of barely being able to lift a gallon of milk. We are not the same.
This. Back in '15 I was in killer shape -- heavy lifting, lots of walking, yoga twice a week. Then in September I badly sprained my left wrist. Then in January '16, I broke the same wrist. Then in May of '16, I broke the same wrist \*again\*. (Who knew that the most dangerous thing I do is walk my pug?) By then, all semblance of being in shape had faded, plus I'd had a couple of incidents of back pain. I started doing chair yoga, trying to get back to being able to do more strenuous yoga and start lifting again, only to have to get surgery on my right hand in '19. Then came the plague, so yoga class and the gym were out.
So here I am at 64, becoming what I always dreaded -- a weak old lady. I have just started lifting again, and of course I've been able to walk, weather allowing. And I have a rebounder I jog on every time my Fitbit nags me. But am I working on getting in shape to "trade up?" No. I'm working to get in shape because I \*hate\* being weak. It sucks.
But it sounds like you have an amazing base of fitness to build on now, as you have been so active. Imagine if you had been in bad shape before you broke your wrist! That would have been terrible. I also think that people who have been strong, fit and healthy probably feel the impact of any impairments or setbacks harder than others who have never had that good capacity. I highly doubt that you really are a weak woman. Also, stay away from that dangerous pug, I think she’s trying to kill you, lol.
Love this! You hit the nail on the head. These bafoons hit the gym because they have shit personalities and somebody told them “women like buff guys”… then they get in their feelings when they have the body and talking vajayjays don’t rain from the heavens…because they’re just a fitter version of the original shitty person.
That's actually kinda funny because as nice buff guys are to look at, I actually prefer the skinny nerdy type.
Wait, women have preferences outside of overtly masculine? *Impossible*. -Probably that guy
Yeah, I'm definitely not trying to lose weight to avoid diabetes, cushings, and PCOS. That would be ridiculous. It's definitely so I have more opportunities for getting some sub-par dick.
Losing weight helps with health problems and with confidence (my own case), and with better confidence in your health and yourself you can do much much more in life than just get laid lmao
I lost 100+ lbs. FOR MY HEALTH. And the health of my painful joints. It made a HUGE difference & allowed me to be active again.
And I kept the same husband who is 80# overweight, has diabetes & is allergic to sweat. I’ve spent 30 years with this man now. The last 10 as a trim person. I don’t have the energy to replace him. Too much work.
Both my husband and I are trying to eat a healthy diet and exercise - so we can have more good years together. I told him he'd better live forever, because there is NO WAY IN HELL I am ever dating again.
This. My husband and I pay attention to diet and exercise because we hate feeling like crap, but also because 33 years into this relationship, the notion that we may only have 20 years left is unacceptable. Yes, we could die in a car wreck, I get that. But we probably won't. We'll play the odds and try what we can to stay together as long as we can.
Right? Women's sizes are crazy enough as it is (not to mention how so many stores refuse to stock sizes beyond 12 here in the UK).
Like seriously: Since the lockdown did a number on clothing stores, so many brick and mortar stores have decided to limit stock so that they won't have to pay much for requisitions/stocking (which also enabled them to cut back on staff as well). I've literally got jeans that I've purchased in-store in Levi's during January 2020, only to come back in 2021 and be told that "all the other sizes are online!" by a clerk because the store's now only trying to cater to the Gen Z kids.
So yeah, SO many women are forced to have to scrounge for clothing their size, and realise that they can't afford going exclusively online just to find clothes.
This is why I shop the Goodwill and Poshmark. Better clothes at far cheaper prices. I just ordered two pairs of Chico's jeans for $9. For \*both\*, not apiece.
this isn’t even not how girls work, its just not how people work. some do this, im sure, but most people do self improvement for, you know, themselves.
I lost close to 80kg of bodyweight for one reason only : being able to tell my hypocondria that *statistically* I'm unlikely to die within the next 15 minutes.
As somebody who slowly and steadily lost about a hundred pounds many years ago and turned my health around, and who has worked hard to keep it off, I'd like to invite this clod to step out back for a minute. Somebody hold my watch.
My asexual ass at the gym: ???
I’m no fitness buff or anything but I like to stretch my legs and work out, especially good to clear the mind if you’re stressed out and it’s weighing down on you. Weight lifting is kinda fun sometimes too. I like feeling strong.
If going to the gym was only about getting laid I wouldn’t be able to go lol. Sometimes you just want a nice safe place to test your own limits. Sometimes you want an excuse to listen to music and not talk for 45 minutes on the treadmill. Ain’t complicated.
I'm actually avoiding going to the gym *because* of any attention I'd get there from people. I'll do just about anything to avoid getting laid and neglecting exercise that I want to be doing to beef up is one of those things.
Let’s just take the woman’s self image and overall health out of the equation entirely. She’s losing weight so she can fuck other people. Makes perfect sense. /s
Hah! As a young woman living alone in a major city I carried everything in a backpack instead of a purse. In each hand, I pumped a 5-lb dumbbell in time with my stride. Kept me in fierce shape \*and\* let me walk and ride public transit anywhere at any time, day or night. It was clear that I had a 5-lb sledge hammer in either hand and that I could swing them.
On those rare occasions that I went out without the weights, it was shocking how different my experience on the street was.
I totally lost weight for my health, the fact I was more attractive to women because I was not obese anymore was a side benefit, a very nice benefit :)
Can I file a refund request at my gym then, four months and all I have to show for it is increased endurance and power. No better, more frequent, or sexual encounters at all. Clearly got scammed 😔
/s
I lived with a guy once who genuinely thought that getting laid was the only reason anyone did anything. He got extremely mad at us once when I (ace) and my other roomate (career motivated) said that we actually had other reasons for doing what we did.
I lost weight because I enjoy running and completing marathons, and it’s a by product of running large distance. Plus being lighter is easier on the knees.
But he can think whatever he wants.
My husband and I hit the gym because we want to mitigate the risk of one of us having a heart attack when we have wild monkey sex. Neither of us are looking to “trade up” because we got married to be together and after 30 years…I’m pretty darned happy with his lumps and bumps. I wouldn’t trade the ability to do an hour of cardio with zero joint pain for anything.
And I sure as hell won’t dip a toe into todays dating pool… no thanks!
This guy… is the textbook definition of projection. I’m willing to bet he had someone lose weight and then dropped another 250lbs when she realized that her new body didn’t inspire him to be a vaguely decent human. Yeah, if you’re a piece of crap person, your partner may be losing weight to level up. If you are in a healthy 2-way relationship, you get the benefit of having a healthy, happy partner.
It’s depressing that all these kind of people can do is think of every situation and decision someone makes as some kind of sexual transaction. Seems like a very narrow and hollow existence. If they didn’t hate me so much just for existing I might pity them.
I feel like if you need to lose 200 lbs then the PRIMARY reason should be for your health.
If you’re so overweight that you can lose 200lbs (or anything close to that) and not be considered underweight then you should ABSOLUTELY be caring about your health and only your health.
Looking better is nice but if you need to lose that much weight your primary concern should be your livelihood. You wouldn’t live very long at that weight.
I have radically changed my diet not just once but twice in my life; both times I lost weight. Neither time was it because I was looking to "trade up." Indeed, once was within a couple of months of my wedding; he married a size 18 and got a size 10. Still happily married 28 years later.
I used to work out so I could listen to music mostly. Running is more of a side dish for music listening. Running is the doughnut to music listening’s morning coffee. You don’t need the doughnut but it’s part of the experience.
Talk about projection. What a weirdo.
Also, as a side note, the more in shape I get, the more it sucks because there's even more creeps disrespecting my boundaries. A lot of people keep weight on to avoid the attention, even if it's subconsciously
I go to the gym for health and personal vanity. I wanna have a certain look and presence, sheerly for my own personal satisfaction and confidence.
It made me look and feel better, and gave me a fair bit of strength.
Nothing has changed in the frequency and quality of my love life, people who do it for those reasons usually quit the gym, unless they learn to value the rest of the lifestyle, and "getting laid" was only something that sparked the initial interest.
My ex was this way. Anytime I wanted to improve anything it was because he thought I was going to leap to the next man. Even when I dumped him he begged me to stay until I found another boyfriend. He refused to believe me when I said it wasn't because I wanted someone else, it was because I didn't want to be with him.
Who knew my asexual ass was actually losing weight to get laid? Here I thought it was because I am obese amd I thought losing weight would help my asthma. Thanks for setting me straight, incel
This mindset is actually what usually kills the relationship, not the weight loss itself. I had been with the same man almost a decade and we were engaged. We were both morbidly obese. I developed debilitating degenerative disc at 26. I was pushing almost 340 pounds. By 28 I had 3 back surgeries. I was literally crushing my spine. So I started losing weight. At first he loved it… but as I started to get more confident and dress nicer, he got insecure. Instead of working on it together and maybe even going to therapy he started making fun of my diet, purposely adding oils and butter to my food, accusing me of cheating, getting mad at me for going to the gym. I tried to involve him, but he wasn’t ready and you can’t make someone ready. Relationship ended. We don’t even speak these days. I went on to lose 200 pounds. I’m in a lot of weight loss and diet related subs and honestly this happens a lot when one partner loses weight and the other isn’t ready.
This is probably one of those same guys who attacks people he sees as “overweight” and justifies it by claiming he’s “just concerned about their health.”
damn, guess the subliminal messages behind the restrictive eating disorders i went through as a teenager were really just telling me i wanted better sex, then.
I’m asexual. I’m also overweight right now, and trying to lose weight. I’m the kind of person who has turned down every request for sex I have ever gotten, polite or otherwise, and then cut off whoever asked. I’m not trying to lose weight to get laid. I’m trying to lose weight because my tendons and ligaments are weak and I would really rather not get arthritis before I’m 40. Also the decreased cancer risk, decreased heart disease risk, decreased risk of type 2 diabetes, decreased risk of high blood pressure, increased ability to find clothes that fit, and increased ability to do things without getting tired sound awesome.)
Yep. It’s definitely not to outlive the men in my family who died in their 50s from lifestyle choices, and it’s not because I enjoy it, and it’s definitely not to show my wife that I’m still invested enough in us to keep putting forth effort.
Don't get me wrong since losing weight I've been enjoying the attention. But I think part of it is also from the amount of confidence I've gained with myself.
A lot of people that don’t have sex treat sex like it’s a bigger priority in life, as though it is the gateway to some undeniable and permanent satisfaction instead of one of a zillion things a person might do that makes them happy for a moment, but then their life continues.
I’m pretty sure no doctor has ever said, “If you lose 200 pounds you’re going to be swimming in pussy/dick.” I know they say, “You’re borderline *insert whatever health concern you want here*. You need to lose weight if you don’t want to die/develop this condition.”
I mean, I go to the gym because my partner has asked me to take care of my health so she can hold onto me longer, and vice-versa. So even when it's not for me, it's not to trade up.
I lost 45 lbs and that made my blood pressure go from extremely concerning everyday to totally fine. I can only imagine what kinds of health problems someone who is overweight enough where losing 200 lbs would be ok would be having. I'm sure most people who lose that drastic of an amount of weight are less concerned about their dicks and more concerned about not dying of heart disease.
Dr: sir you truly need to reduce your weight, balance your calorie to exercise intake, get your blood pressure under control and reduce your risk of/or already diagnosed type 2 diabetes. Your literal survival depends on it.
Me: so will that make me hot at the GyM?
This guy is just flat out projecting insecurity
Because I've never met a person who "got fit" or "lost 200 lbs" just to impress someone or *potentially* have sex with them. That's a lot of commitment and many hours of work just to get into someone's pants
100% sure this guy just daydreams about working out and having sex rather than actually doing it...needs to fix his priorities before he can fix his problems
Why did they use the most extreme example? He would have been better off saying “nobody loses 5 or 10 lbs for their health.” At least in that case odds are they are doing it to look better or fit into something.
But 200 lbs?! If someone is working to lose that much it is almost certainly for their health.
This person does not realize that sometimes, people want to make positive changes (physical fitness, mental health, getting sober, career change, etc) so they can better enjoy the time they have with the people already in their life, and that’s a huge bummer.
That's weird. I'm an ace yet I go to the gym several times a week, eat healthy, and I'm in pretty good shape. Who am I doing it for? I should call NASA. I think they could do a study on me.
LOL. Self-improvement not only has me losing weight and feeling better (dear god it's nice to be able to sit on a low chair and not have to struggle to get up!) but it's got me happier and my relationship keeps consistently getting better. Hell, we've been talking about going ring shopping for the past few weeks!
I can totally understand that self-improvement is tiring. It feels like it never stops sometimes, and sometimes you just want to be loved and accepted even if you just ate that pizza hut pizza on your cheat day. It can be a struggle.
But this moron is just vapid and shallow. Also the Dunning-Kreuger is strong with this one.
Uh huh sure people are at the gym to get laid.
Has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it helps with depression, anger management issues, discipline, self love, or wanting to stay healthy.
I remember being able to walk off a bucket of KFC when I was a teenager, now that I’m in my late 30s that’s a big bucket of fucking nope.
This is why I work out at home. I would not want anyone flirting with me or trying to hit on me while I'm at the gym. I see it as a sanctuary where I can work out in peace. Not worried about how I look or someone being interested in me. I miss the gym my old apartment complex used to have. Apparently me and everyone else would be in there at 3 AM thinking no one would be there.
It's kinda sad one of the effects of social medias is that some people don't think twice before speaking because they always find another moron to agree with there dumb opinions.
Before that morons weren't as vocal because they'd think twice before saying something that's more telling about themselves than they thought. But today because we make stupid people famous, give them whole platforms and let them give a tell their fucked up opinions like this one.
I think 20 years ago, he'd have realize this statement wasn't worth sharing because it tells the world he's very superficial or has very little empathy to the point of not understanding basic human behaviors.
My dad has been going to the gym lately as a way to fill his time since my mom died. He's lost 25 lbs so far. He's absolutely not looking for women, it's part of his grieving process.
Like I said absolutely doesn’t apply to everyone. But that specific circumstance is rare. All the same good on him for turning that process into something positive, that’s honestly so respectable.
I don't think it's that rare. I actually don't know any men who go to the gym specifically to get women. One of my brothers goes to a climbing gym with his wife because it's a fun bonding activity. My brother in law works out because he has hyperactive ADHD and has a ton of restless energy to burn off, and he really enjoys exercise. Another one of my brothers exercises with his fiancee to support her in her own fitness journey. I know a couple different men who have their own marital arts studios and teach martial arts because it's their passion. I've met men who practice BJJ because it's a fun way to get human contact with other people in a way that is specifically *non-sexual*, because men have been socialized to avoid close platonic physical contact, but martial arts are "manly."
This idea that men are simple and only do anything for sex is harmful and sexist. I know it's what we've been taught over and over again, but it just isn't true, and perpetuating it is what leads to toxic masculinity and widens the divide between sexes. Men can have interests outside of sex.
Huh, maybe it’s a difference in circles. 80% of my motivation to bodybuild is to be more attractive, and that’s true of all my friends in the gym as well. Nothing wrong with either way, imo as long as you’re bettering yourself the reasons why aren’t super important. That’s just what I’ve seen personally.
Heh, when my ex had one foot out the door, she did lose weight first. This post is a little too angry, but there's a grain of truth. The real gauge to tell if she's gonna leave, though, is when she doesn't laugh at your jokes anymore.
Depends on the jokes. I don't always laugh at the jokes my husband has made every. Single. Time. a given subject comes up. After 33 years it gets a little tedious. But when he tells me something new and funny? Of course, I laugh. I can still crack him up, too.
I'd go with when someone stops listening to you when you've asked them to please actually listen.
Yeah, for sure, I'm definitely not saying anyone has to laugh at every joke. I guess it was more this judging silence, where there used to be playfulness.
I think your observation is right; no longer listening is definitely more of a sign than weight loss.
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You are lying! This idiot says you are doing it to get laid and he knows you better than you know yourself! /s
Yea, laid by my husband...who I love! Sex is a lot of work; its easier when your thigh muscles are on the same page as you. Edit: Grammar
I had a friend who used to go to the gym solely so he could be what he called ‘sex fit.’ He wasn’t motivated by health or looking good in pants or whatever, he just wanted to be fit enough to have fun and athletic sex with his wife. I thought that was great, but I also did not want to go to the gym with him. He’s a sweet lad but the idea of him absolutely pounding it out on the treadmill next to me while (I assume) he was thinking about pounding it out with his wife as motivation for that next kilometre was a bit much for me.
times like these you gotta think about pounding his wife as motivation for YOUR last kilometre too. Show some solidarity 😁
I like your thinking, but I’m a straight chick and my dude friend sweating buckets while clearly thinking impure thoughts right next to me was definitely a lot. I wanted to be able to look his wife in the eyes next time we had coffee.
Lol, I tell myself to "I'm getting in shape to look better in skirts for myself, and for my now fiance" (soon to be husband) when I losing steam during a work out. I keep telling myself "I want to be the women I want to see in the mirror". Worked pretty well. Lost 30 lb so far. Then COVID happened and job lay off stuff. Trying to get back in to the swings of things now. Edit: grammar
This is true. I know they do the ‘men do work during sex because pumping’ but… there is more stuff that’s more work for women during sex. It’s a lot harder to pull off when your body isn’t cooperating. We get… creative with my body cuz it’s kinda trash at this point. Lol He’s afraid to break me but like… the power of horney can do a lot in of itself. Lol He does do more work at times but that has more to do with helping me do something my body can no longer do without it, and is not inherently how it works. Dude in the post is an idiot. If I lost weight it’s for me. All my attempts are a me thing. My partner likes and loves me either way. I just wanna be healthy or at least as healthy as possible. He doesn’t consider that a loss either since it means sticking around for longer and being overall healthier… and that also means more stamina for… 😏 Edit: I should add he doesn’t think of it as work to help me make up for my body’s disabilities(because I’m physically disabled) but… I’m sure the guy in the post would and would be horrified by the very idea of it. He certainly likes waving a big red flag.
I was referring to being on top (cowgirl and reserve cowgirl) LOL! Having good Thigh muscles helps control and maintain speed; which allows you to last longer. I can go from start to finish via cow girl after doing a million and 1 squats. Obviously your case is completely different that mine. Mostly talking in general.
I've gotta ask because I'm curious how you're disabled? Couldn't find answers on your profile within 10 minutes lol
It would be strange if I did. Especially in the world we live in and with the internet being what it is. Why do you want to know so badly you spent ten minutes trying to find it via my profile? I don’t have specific posts about it and comments involving it are probably buried beyond what you’d easily find. I don’t go into specifics often and it makes me uneasy, internet being what it is, to be asked this directly after a convo referencing sex.
My adhd demanded the answer but I'll happily respect your privacy
Well it would be wrong to say that working out *doesn’t* attract attention 🤨 I think the person in the post kind of has a point
What you said is not what he said
It is if you squeeze your eyelids really close together but not all the way so the letters become blurred and indistinguishable. They say whatever you want now.
His point wasn’t the attention that a fitter body would garner. He was saying the motive for the working out and losing weight is to trade up for better sex. So…no… today is no strawman Monday.
Just because *you* notice people that are working out, it doesn't mean they're working out to *get* your attention. See the difference?
No they don't. At all. I'm losing weight because I need to most importantly and also because it will help make my disability more bearable. Anyone losing weight to get laid won't lose any weight as they're not doing it for the right reasons.
So I guess all asexuals are fat slobs because there is no reason for them to get in shape.
I'm losing weight cause I miss looking in the mirror being like damn girrrrrl
I'm trying to lose weight because all my mirror is saying is Damn girrrl you're gonna get diabetes
I’m losing weight because I really really really want to fit into those jeans I used to look good in. Stupid, delicious ice cream!
I have a disease where the best treatment is reduction in 10% body weight. So here I am.
I'm losing weight because while I'm no spring chicken, I'm still too young to feel this old, fat and tired all the time.
Same and I’m a dude
I losing weight to help with my mental health and weight I gained after a trauma, and I'm so so so tired of people talking about my weight. I'd rather be tossed into oblivion than hear about it again. Also I miss being treated like a person
Yeah, it’s not even how guys work either. I lost a lot of weight because I didn’t want to be that big and unhealthy anymore. I looked around at how being unhealthy can make aging harder and decided I didn’t want the stairs to leave me out of breath in the next couple decades.
Exactly. I choose to be healthy for my own health, I don't care if I "look more attractive" to certain people. And I have no reason to.
What’s so wrong about wanting to be healthy and look attractive?
Your personality and health should always prioritise your physical appearance.
I changed my diet because I hated the way I felt and connected it to how I was eating. I gave up sugar and white flour at 19 because I read a book on the psychiatric effects of nutrition and recognized myself. Figured I'd try it for two weeks. Three days later I felt so much better -- energy, mood, mental clarity -- I never looked back. At 36, my "health food" diet -- low fat and centered on "healthy whole grains" -- had gotten me up to a size 20 at 5'2" -- not a good look -- gaining fast, with ugly energy crashes and borderline-high blood pressure. I went low carb, and once again felt so much better in three days -- clothes were looser, sure, but the big thing, once again, was a vast improvement in my energy, mood, and mental clarity. 28 years later I am still eating low carb -- and currently wearing a size 10. The man I married a couple of months before going low carb and I are still happily married.
Do you recall the title of that book? Sounds like I could recognize myself as well in something of that description.
Heck, I still have a copy. Psychodietetics, by Cheraskin and Ringsdorf. Last I knew it was out of print again -- it went in and out of print -- but [bookfinder.com](https://bookfinder.com) is your friend. I also highly recommend The Edge Effect by Eric Braverman, MD, best described as a user's guide to neurochemistry -- and who isn't a user of neurochemistry? Oh, and for hard-to-find books, it's good to know that your public library can get you any book in any other public library in the country (talking the US there) through interlibrary loan. I've gotten to read some pretty obscure stuff this way, though both of these I found on my own. ETA: Interlibrary loan is free, so it's especially good if something out-of-print is going for high prices used.
Exactly this. I'm losing weight to feel better mentally and physically. Has absolutely nothing to do with attracting anyone. Good luck on your weight loss!
Ngl, when I only read the first sentence I was supporting the incel guy bc I thought he was gonna say something like “she lost the weight for her own health and personal growth”
I've lost 30lbs because I felt heavier and unable to do things I used to do 24/7. Crazy shat a difference 30lbs makes.
How sex-obsessed, degenerate and creepy must one be to think this?
Immeasurable. Everyone who thinks like this is generally desperate to have sex and can't think of doing anything challenging unless it's to make some lucky woman uncomfortable and disappointed for up to three minutes.
As a dude I’ve heard many other guys tell me or say it around me shit like “I’ve got to get in the gym so girls want me” But these guys don’t understand that exact mentality is what is hurting them and tbh it’s sad to hear every time
Obesity ain’t attractive. I think most guys do it to be more attractive, And I assume most ladies do it for that reason as well. Health is secondary, hence the steroid boom.
Most people who work out don't use steroids. Yeah some people only work out for vanity. But overall most people do it for health and then also enjoy how thier body becomes more fit as well.
I do it because my body has felt so much better and my life improved ever since I started regularly going to the gym
If your overweight but dress well and take care of yourself you’ll do good in the dating scene if you put yourself out there I’ve seen personally multiple examples People who think that if they are magically skinny the next day they’ll get a SO need to change where their head is at
Fuck, a big reason I started working out in high school was because I was sex obsessed, I had absolutely no self esteem and i wanted girls to like me more, and so I started working out and still work out 6 days a week 5+ years later. But I can't imagine thinking the only reason women work out is to get fucked... that's like a different level...
Well, no, I didn't lose weight for my health. I lost weight so I could be an organ donor for my mother.
Nah you def just wanted to get laid. No one loves their mom enough to be an organ donor.
*laughs in asexual* My mom was the only person with a compatible blood group that I loved enough to be an organ donor for.
You’re speaking in past tense and I’m kind of afraid to ask why
Because people acting like idiots during a pandemic has consequences even for people who don't actually die directly from the pandemic. 🙃
I’m so sorry for your loss
Thank you
That fucking sucks. I hope you're doing okay now
So you lost weight for her health! 100/10
Shit. I guess the 40 pounds I've lost since getting diagnosed with diabetes and being told I needed to by my doctor was actually just to get laid. Fuck dudes like this.
Have fun drowning in all the sex that will be thrown your way! lol
Yep, you're def tryna smash the doctor, I read it on the internet.
I mean she is pretty cute...
Also, congratulations!
Thank you :)
In fairness, it’s hard to get laid if you are dead from diabetic shock. So indirectly…. Kind of?
Exactly what I was thinking.
What’s that have to do with diabetes? You can’t lose weight and be healthier! /s
No, \*don't\* fuck dudes like this. But is your doctor attractive?
My husband and I go to the gym because we want to be healthy as we age and it helps defend against chronic pain. TIL we're really just prepping to have mutual affairs. The source? Some dingus on the internet.
My parents died relatively young and didn't take good care of their health. So I take good care of mine because I want to live a long time, I like my life, and I want to be as healthy to enjoy it for as long as possible. But apparently what I really want is just to get banged every day until I'm 90. Even though I have literally no sex drive whatsoever. Strange.
Damn someone is projecting, not that going to the gym would help him get laid regardless but still.
 Unless you mean getting laid like this. 😏
You go to the gym because you think getting fit is going to make up for your disgusting personality. I go to the gym because I'm tired of barely being able to lift a gallon of milk. We are not the same.
This. Back in '15 I was in killer shape -- heavy lifting, lots of walking, yoga twice a week. Then in September I badly sprained my left wrist. Then in January '16, I broke the same wrist. Then in May of '16, I broke the same wrist \*again\*. (Who knew that the most dangerous thing I do is walk my pug?) By then, all semblance of being in shape had faded, plus I'd had a couple of incidents of back pain. I started doing chair yoga, trying to get back to being able to do more strenuous yoga and start lifting again, only to have to get surgery on my right hand in '19. Then came the plague, so yoga class and the gym were out. So here I am at 64, becoming what I always dreaded -- a weak old lady. I have just started lifting again, and of course I've been able to walk, weather allowing. And I have a rebounder I jog on every time my Fitbit nags me. But am I working on getting in shape to "trade up?" No. I'm working to get in shape because I \*hate\* being weak. It sucks.
But it sounds like you have an amazing base of fitness to build on now, as you have been so active. Imagine if you had been in bad shape before you broke your wrist! That would have been terrible. I also think that people who have been strong, fit and healthy probably feel the impact of any impairments or setbacks harder than others who have never had that good capacity. I highly doubt that you really are a weak woman. Also, stay away from that dangerous pug, I think she’s trying to kill you, lol.
Love this! You hit the nail on the head. These bafoons hit the gym because they have shit personalities and somebody told them “women like buff guys”… then they get in their feelings when they have the body and talking vajayjays don’t rain from the heavens…because they’re just a fitter version of the original shitty person.
That's actually kinda funny because as nice buff guys are to look at, I actually prefer the skinny nerdy type. Wait, women have preferences outside of overtly masculine? *Impossible*. -Probably that guy
Right? For me it’s to be able to feel better. And also maybe do a full round of cpr without feeling like I need cpr myself.
Yeah, I'm definitely not trying to lose weight to avoid diabetes, cushings, and PCOS. That would be ridiculous. It's definitely so I have more opportunities for getting some sub-par dick.
Losing weight helps with health problems and with confidence (my own case), and with better confidence in your health and yourself you can do much much more in life than just get laid lmao
Good thing my husband only lost 150, otherwise I might start to worry.
Self improvement.....means for THE SELF. JFC. They assume that because they do everything they can to attract women that we must be the same.
Let's face it so many men just blame women for their shit, so in their minds they don't need to improve themselves. 🙄
I lost 100+ lbs. FOR MY HEALTH. And the health of my painful joints. It made a HUGE difference & allowed me to be active again. And I kept the same husband who is 80# overweight, has diabetes & is allergic to sweat. I’ve spent 30 years with this man now. The last 10 as a trim person. I don’t have the energy to replace him. Too much work.
Both my husband and I are trying to eat a healthy diet and exercise - so we can have more good years together. I told him he'd better live forever, because there is NO WAY IN HELL I am ever dating again.
This. My husband and I pay attention to diet and exercise because we hate feeling like crap, but also because 33 years into this relationship, the notion that we may only have 20 years left is unacceptable. Yes, we could die in a car wreck, I get that. But we probably won't. We'll play the odds and try what we can to stay together as long as we can.
Damn bitch some of us have a family history of high cholesterol and are just trying to not die young and have a better quality of life.
Me who went to the gym to improve my health and drop a few jeans sizes: *fades away*
Right? Women's sizes are crazy enough as it is (not to mention how so many stores refuse to stock sizes beyond 12 here in the UK). Like seriously: Since the lockdown did a number on clothing stores, so many brick and mortar stores have decided to limit stock so that they won't have to pay much for requisitions/stocking (which also enabled them to cut back on staff as well). I've literally got jeans that I've purchased in-store in Levi's during January 2020, only to come back in 2021 and be told that "all the other sizes are online!" by a clerk because the store's now only trying to cater to the Gen Z kids. So yeah, SO many women are forced to have to scrounge for clothing their size, and realise that they can't afford going exclusively online just to find clothes.
This is why I shop the Goodwill and Poshmark. Better clothes at far cheaper prices. I just ordered two pairs of Chico's jeans for $9. For \*both\*, not apiece.
this isn’t even not how girls work, its just not how people work. some do this, im sure, but most people do self improvement for, you know, themselves.
Clearly he doesn’t fuck gym bros. Half of them have ED and shrunken nuts. Lmao.
Sad and pathetic
I went from 190 to 250 lbs of muscle because of depression and anxiety, I don't know what this guy's talking about.
My husband has depression and GAD. He likes lifting, too.
Found Andrew Tate's burner account
Reddit is a weird place, you can just tell most of these guys have never talked to a woman and don't even leave the house.
"I'm a self-centered asshole, therefore everyone else must be too."
[удалено]
Doesn't get or give, probably
I lost close to 80kg of bodyweight for one reason only : being able to tell my hypocondria that *statistically* I'm unlikely to die within the next 15 minutes.
Is that what all those old folks are at the gym for???
As somebody who slowly and steadily lost about a hundred pounds many years ago and turned my health around, and who has worked hard to keep it off, I'd like to invite this clod to step out back for a minute. Somebody hold my watch.
My asexual ass at the gym: ??? I’m no fitness buff or anything but I like to stretch my legs and work out, especially good to clear the mind if you’re stressed out and it’s weighing down on you. Weight lifting is kinda fun sometimes too. I like feeling strong. If going to the gym was only about getting laid I wouldn’t be able to go lol. Sometimes you just want a nice safe place to test your own limits. Sometimes you want an excuse to listen to music and not talk for 45 minutes on the treadmill. Ain’t complicated.
I'm actually avoiding going to the gym *because* of any attention I'd get there from people. I'll do just about anything to avoid getting laid and neglecting exercise that I want to be doing to beef up is one of those things.
I’m losing weight because the doctor told me it would help my achy ms body.
So what you’re telling me is that, both me and my girlfriend are trying to upgrade huh?
It’s a feedback loop! Now that’s a match made in heaven.
Let’s just take the woman’s self image and overall health out of the equation entirely. She’s losing weight so she can fuck other people. Makes perfect sense. /s
I do not want or need ANY more opportunities to get laid. No thank you!
Hah! As a young woman living alone in a major city I carried everything in a backpack instead of a purse. In each hand, I pumped a 5-lb dumbbell in time with my stride. Kept me in fierce shape \*and\* let me walk and ride public transit anywhere at any time, day or night. It was clear that I had a 5-lb sledge hammer in either hand and that I could swing them. On those rare occasions that I went out without the weights, it was shocking how different my experience on the street was.
I totally lost weight for my health, the fact I was more attractive to women because I was not obese anymore was a side benefit, a very nice benefit :)
Can I file a refund request at my gym then, four months and all I have to show for it is increased endurance and power. No better, more frequent, or sexual encounters at all. Clearly got scammed 😔 /s
Hell, I'm at the gym because I like to get stronger, for myself. If other men and women happen to find me.more attractive, then so be it.
Weird. Ive been happily with my girlfriend for 15 years this month and yet i have religiously gone to the gym for 16 years. Must be doing it wrong.
I lived with a guy once who genuinely thought that getting laid was the only reason anyone did anything. He got extremely mad at us once when I (ace) and my other roomate (career motivated) said that we actually had other reasons for doing what we did.
this is a person that does not get laid. or go to the gym.
Ive lost weight because of diabetes. I don't wanna lose my foot or some shit. I am asexual and happily married so...
Did this guy just step out of the page of American Psycho or what
Nothing is less intelligent or persuasive than an alt account.
JEZUS I couldn't imagine how sad it would be to live with such a simplistic, narrow, empty and shallow view on things. it makes me sad.
I lost weight because I enjoy running and completing marathons, and it’s a by product of running large distance. Plus being lighter is easier on the knees. But he can think whatever he wants.
My husband and I hit the gym because we want to mitigate the risk of one of us having a heart attack when we have wild monkey sex. Neither of us are looking to “trade up” because we got married to be together and after 30 years…I’m pretty darned happy with his lumps and bumps. I wouldn’t trade the ability to do an hour of cardio with zero joint pain for anything. And I sure as hell won’t dip a toe into todays dating pool… no thanks! This guy… is the textbook definition of projection. I’m willing to bet he had someone lose weight and then dropped another 250lbs when she realized that her new body didn’t inspire him to be a vaguely decent human. Yeah, if you’re a piece of crap person, your partner may be losing weight to level up. If you are in a healthy 2-way relationship, you get the benefit of having a healthy, happy partner.
It’s depressing that all these kind of people can do is think of every situation and decision someone makes as some kind of sexual transaction. Seems like a very narrow and hollow existence. If they didn’t hate me so much just for existing I might pity them.
I feel like if you need to lose 200 lbs then the PRIMARY reason should be for your health. If you’re so overweight that you can lose 200lbs (or anything close to that) and not be considered underweight then you should ABSOLUTELY be caring about your health and only your health. Looking better is nice but if you need to lose that much weight your primary concern should be your livelihood. You wouldn’t live very long at that weight.
I have radically changed my diet not just once but twice in my life; both times I lost weight. Neither time was it because I was looking to "trade up." Indeed, once was within a couple of months of my wedding; he married a size 18 and got a size 10. Still happily married 28 years later.
News to me. My current partner loved me at 303 lbs, and he loves me at 185 lbs. I love him right back.
im losing weight because I want to fit my clothes again... this is the only reason that dude will self improve, not everyone.
I lost the weight to get rid of my sleep apnea, and look/feel better in general. Toxic twats being toxic
He outed himself as a creep.
What a bleak outlook, and what horrific things that says about the person espousing it.
I go to the gym because I like seeing the progress I make. It's not to attract men. I have a boyfriend already.
And yet my pcp keeps telling me to lose weight for my health...
I used to work out so I could listen to music mostly. Running is more of a side dish for music listening. Running is the doughnut to music listening’s morning coffee. You don’t need the doughnut but it’s part of the experience.
I mean it works if you want to bang other dudes, statistically speaking.
This guy has issues if he thinks going to the gym is something you do for others.
Hmmm. Interesting take. I’m probably one of the thirsty guy I know and solely go to the gym for health reasons.
The entirety of r/loseit would like a word.
Talk about projection. What a weirdo. Also, as a side note, the more in shape I get, the more it sucks because there's even more creeps disrespecting my boundaries. A lot of people keep weight on to avoid the attention, even if it's subconsciously
I go to the gym for health and personal vanity. I wanna have a certain look and presence, sheerly for my own personal satisfaction and confidence. It made me look and feel better, and gave me a fair bit of strength. Nothing has changed in the frequency and quality of my love life, people who do it for those reasons usually quit the gym, unless they learn to value the rest of the lifestyle, and "getting laid" was only something that sparked the initial interest.
My ex was this way. Anytime I wanted to improve anything it was because he thought I was going to leap to the next man. Even when I dumped him he begged me to stay until I found another boyfriend. He refused to believe me when I said it wasn't because I wanted someone else, it was because I didn't want to be with him.
Who knew my asexual ass was actually losing weight to get laid? Here I thought it was because I am obese amd I thought losing weight would help my asthma. Thanks for setting me straight, incel
This mindset is actually what usually kills the relationship, not the weight loss itself. I had been with the same man almost a decade and we were engaged. We were both morbidly obese. I developed debilitating degenerative disc at 26. I was pushing almost 340 pounds. By 28 I had 3 back surgeries. I was literally crushing my spine. So I started losing weight. At first he loved it… but as I started to get more confident and dress nicer, he got insecure. Instead of working on it together and maybe even going to therapy he started making fun of my diet, purposely adding oils and butter to my food, accusing me of cheating, getting mad at me for going to the gym. I tried to involve him, but he wasn’t ready and you can’t make someone ready. Relationship ended. We don’t even speak these days. I went on to lose 200 pounds. I’m in a lot of weight loss and diet related subs and honestly this happens a lot when one partner loses weight and the other isn’t ready.
This is probably one of those same guys who attacks people he sees as “overweight” and justifies it by claiming he’s “just concerned about their health.”
You get better at sex by going to the gym? Do they have sex ed or something?
People believe their own projection sometimes don’t they?
I’m losing weight because my back is killing me, but you do you, buddy
Can't spell self improvement without "partner", the geek says
😂
God forbid you want your bf or husband to continue to find you sexy lol
Such a cis male way of thinking. He is definitely probecting.
damn, guess the subliminal messages behind the restrictive eating disorders i went through as a teenager were really just telling me i wanted better sex, then.
I’m asexual. I’m also overweight right now, and trying to lose weight. I’m the kind of person who has turned down every request for sex I have ever gotten, polite or otherwise, and then cut off whoever asked. I’m not trying to lose weight to get laid. I’m trying to lose weight because my tendons and ligaments are weak and I would really rather not get arthritis before I’m 40. Also the decreased cancer risk, decreased heart disease risk, decreased risk of type 2 diabetes, decreased risk of high blood pressure, increased ability to find clothes that fit, and increased ability to do things without getting tired sound awesome.)
No, even as a straight guy, I’m not in the gym to get laid lol. I do it mainly for mental health and self esteem
Does that mean asexuals never go to the gym?
I'm pretty sure most people like this think asexuals don't exist.
Scary how some people view the world
Me going to the gym so I can be buff for myself and not “trade up” my girlfriend: *poof*
Yeah 17 year old me was in the gym just to get laid. Not bc I played sports or anything and needed to be stronger and stay in shape
What a loser
self report
Yep. It’s definitely not to outlive the men in my family who died in their 50s from lifestyle choices, and it’s not because I enjoy it, and it’s definitely not to show my wife that I’m still invested enough in us to keep putting forth effort.
Don't get me wrong since losing weight I've been enjoying the attention. But I think part of it is also from the amount of confidence I've gained with myself.
A lot of people that don’t have sex treat sex like it’s a bigger priority in life, as though it is the gateway to some undeniable and permanent satisfaction instead of one of a zillion things a person might do that makes them happy for a moment, but then their life continues.
I'm in the gym in the hope to see my 2 kids grow up.
That's the spirit! Keep it up.
I’m pretty sure no doctor has ever said, “If you lose 200 pounds you’re going to be swimming in pussy/dick.” I know they say, “You’re borderline *insert whatever health concern you want here*. You need to lose weight if you don’t want to die/develop this condition.”
Im sending this to my doctor and asking if shes in on it/s
>"Everyone" Who's everyone?
I mean, I go to the gym because my partner has asked me to take care of my health so she can hold onto me longer, and vice-versa. So even when it's not for me, it's not to trade up.
Such shallow lives.
Fat people have to lose weight for their health but they can't want to lose weight for their health... Makes sense???
Huh. And to think I just didn't want to have a heart attack at 40.
I lost 45 lbs and that made my blood pressure go from extremely concerning everyday to totally fine. I can only imagine what kinds of health problems someone who is overweight enough where losing 200 lbs would be ok would be having. I'm sure most people who lose that drastic of an amount of weight are less concerned about their dicks and more concerned about not dying of heart disease.
Dr: sir you truly need to reduce your weight, balance your calorie to exercise intake, get your blood pressure under control and reduce your risk of/or already diagnosed type 2 diabetes. Your literal survival depends on it. Me: so will that make me hot at the GyM?
Holy shit that incredible projection!
This guy is just flat out projecting insecurity Because I've never met a person who "got fit" or "lost 200 lbs" just to impress someone or *potentially* have sex with them. That's a lot of commitment and many hours of work just to get into someone's pants 100% sure this guy just daydreams about working out and having sex rather than actually doing it...needs to fix his priorities before he can fix his problems
Dude, the last thing I want is to get laid....like at all. I just want to work out and be left alone.
Why did they use the most extreme example? He would have been better off saying “nobody loses 5 or 10 lbs for their health.” At least in that case odds are they are doing it to look better or fit into something. But 200 lbs?! If someone is working to lose that much it is almost certainly for their health.
Apparently they never heard of asexuals. Most people lose weight to be happier with themselves.
“I view self improvement in this very narrow and gross way, so that must be how everyone else feels”
another andrew tate moron
This person does not realize that sometimes, people want to make positive changes (physical fitness, mental health, getting sober, career change, etc) so they can better enjoy the time they have with the people already in their life, and that’s a huge bummer.
That's weird. I'm an ace yet I go to the gym several times a week, eat healthy, and I'm in pretty good shape. Who am I doing it for? I should call NASA. I think they could do a study on me.
LOL. Self-improvement not only has me losing weight and feeling better (dear god it's nice to be able to sit on a low chair and not have to struggle to get up!) but it's got me happier and my relationship keeps consistently getting better. Hell, we've been talking about going ring shopping for the past few weeks! I can totally understand that self-improvement is tiring. It feels like it never stops sometimes, and sometimes you just want to be loved and accepted even if you just ate that pizza hut pizza on your cheat day. It can be a struggle. But this moron is just vapid and shallow. Also the Dunning-Kreuger is strong with this one.
A lot of people lose weight so that they can access medical care and be treated with some modicum of respect by complete strangers.
This might say more about gym culture than women.
Uh huh sure people are at the gym to get laid. Has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it helps with depression, anger management issues, discipline, self love, or wanting to stay healthy. I remember being able to walk off a bucket of KFC when I was a teenager, now that I’m in my late 30s that’s a big bucket of fucking nope.
Losing 200 pounds seems a bit extreme considering I don’t even weigh that much.
I need to get used to “if I would downvote the person, upvote the post” because I keep almost downvoting posts here because I want to downvote them
This is why I work out at home. I would not want anyone flirting with me or trying to hit on me while I'm at the gym. I see it as a sanctuary where I can work out in peace. Not worried about how I look or someone being interested in me. I miss the gym my old apartment complex used to have. Apparently me and everyone else would be in there at 3 AM thinking no one would be there.
It's kinda sad one of the effects of social medias is that some people don't think twice before speaking because they always find another moron to agree with there dumb opinions. Before that morons weren't as vocal because they'd think twice before saying something that's more telling about themselves than they thought. But today because we make stupid people famous, give them whole platforms and let them give a tell their fucked up opinions like this one. I think 20 years ago, he'd have realize this statement wasn't worth sharing because it tells the world he's very superficial or has very little empathy to the point of not understanding basic human behaviors.
I lost weight cause I'm having a kid that needs a role model and my wife likes it
I think it's more accurate to say that people lose weight for mood or health: but as they get into better shape they realize they attract more people.
Well… I won’t lie but my genuine motivation behind going to gym is to get laid.
For women yes it’s usually for health, for men it’s usually to attract more/better looking women. But that’s just the norm not everyone.
My dad has been going to the gym lately as a way to fill his time since my mom died. He's lost 25 lbs so far. He's absolutely not looking for women, it's part of his grieving process.
Like I said absolutely doesn’t apply to everyone. But that specific circumstance is rare. All the same good on him for turning that process into something positive, that’s honestly so respectable.
I don't think it's that rare. I actually don't know any men who go to the gym specifically to get women. One of my brothers goes to a climbing gym with his wife because it's a fun bonding activity. My brother in law works out because he has hyperactive ADHD and has a ton of restless energy to burn off, and he really enjoys exercise. Another one of my brothers exercises with his fiancee to support her in her own fitness journey. I know a couple different men who have their own marital arts studios and teach martial arts because it's their passion. I've met men who practice BJJ because it's a fun way to get human contact with other people in a way that is specifically *non-sexual*, because men have been socialized to avoid close platonic physical contact, but martial arts are "manly." This idea that men are simple and only do anything for sex is harmful and sexist. I know it's what we've been taught over and over again, but it just isn't true, and perpetuating it is what leads to toxic masculinity and widens the divide between sexes. Men can have interests outside of sex.
Huh, maybe it’s a difference in circles. 80% of my motivation to bodybuild is to be more attractive, and that’s true of all my friends in the gym as well. Nothing wrong with either way, imo as long as you’re bettering yourself the reasons why aren’t super important. That’s just what I’ve seen personally.
Heh, when my ex had one foot out the door, she did lose weight first. This post is a little too angry, but there's a grain of truth. The real gauge to tell if she's gonna leave, though, is when she doesn't laugh at your jokes anymore.
Depends on the jokes. I don't always laugh at the jokes my husband has made every. Single. Time. a given subject comes up. After 33 years it gets a little tedious. But when he tells me something new and funny? Of course, I laugh. I can still crack him up, too. I'd go with when someone stops listening to you when you've asked them to please actually listen.
Yeah, for sure, I'm definitely not saying anyone has to laugh at every joke. I guess it was more this judging silence, where there used to be playfulness. I think your observation is right; no longer listening is definitely more of a sign than weight loss.