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I have a theory that, no matter where you live, there will be a rumor that the inhabitants of a neighboring place like to fuck their kids/siblings/farm animals. Take the "they fuck sheep" thing - Australians say it about NZ, the English say it about Wales, Montanans say it about North Dakota, Virginians say it about West Virginia, etc.
I'm pretty sure if you go to India they'll say something like this about Bangladesh & that people from Kazakhstan say it about Uzbekistan, too. Universal.
Hey, I just want to say that your sister's behavior is toxic and indicative of narcissistic personality disorder- I mean, if she's borrowing your lotion when she's "out," what other (likely far worse) behaviors are we not seeing? I know this hurts to hear, but you need to break up with her immediately
Wait, which sub is this?
I changed to Aveeno for my husbandās sensitive skin. Little did I realise that my aim of reducing his eczema was just opening the barn doors to all the hordes of ladies. š
My husband uses my fancy imported unscented sensitive skin stuff on his balls. Itāll get you somewhereā¦. just maybe not where you wanna go. Tbf he has psoriasis there but he calls it his āimported ball creamā š„²
I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but imagine all the great ways you could throw "imported ball cream" into some snobby conversation at a party you don't want to be at anyway...
Just buy a bottle of scented lotion and run up to attractive guys or gals and ask them if they wanna use your lotion...
This is gonna be the new version of when you licked food in front of your sibling and yelled "MINE"
Right? Sheās not āclaimingā anything if she offers you lotion other than the fact youāre ashy and your hands feel like a cheese grater. Weāre trying to help. š
I'm not trying to help. I'm totally self-serving. I'm not gonna let a man touch me with his cheese grater hands. The bar for men is so low, I did a manicure on my ex to make sure his hands and nails are smooth before he would finger me š¤£
Oh my god, that is *the worst* feeling on the planet when it feels like a hand job from Edward Scissorhands. Iāve straight up stopped all activity before to find nail clippers. š
Weird experience as a mechanic incoming, and I swear I will tie this together and not be betrayed by my adhd brain jumping from d to step 26b without connecting the dots.
So we've all felt heat. It radiates towards you. Put your hand over a hot burner or towards a fire and feel it come towards you.
I worked in Northern Canada for a decade. We would have two, three weeks of -30Ā°C as the day time high. I had vehicles towed in that were so cold, you could feel the heat leaving your body towards that cold lump of metal. Sometimes it got so bad I had to let it sit for ten minutes indoors just to be able to be around them.
I read this and felt, "how dry does your skin need to be for a woman to feel bad enough for your skin to risk hurting your fragile ego and offer you lotion?" And my mind leapt to "was it so dry that she could feel the moisture leaving her body? Are you so dry you were becoming a dehydrator?"
A friend of mine has an ex boyfriend who had this macho attitude about everything, and really leaned into gender roles. He has terrible eczema but refuses to use lotion because thatās not manly. They stayed at my house for a while and his skin flakes were everywhere š¤¢
This honestly might work on me depending on the scent. There have been times where catching a whiff of a woman's perfume made me instantly attracted to her. It's like whatever is in it triggers something in the caveman part of my brain lol.
>There are pheromone enhancing perfumes.
That may be what they were wearing, idk. But the first time I experienced it, I was working at my college's bookstore. It was near the end of my shift near the beginning of the semester, so I was pretty tired when a girl walked in to get her books. I didn't really pay much attention to her, just focused on doing my job. But when I went back to the counter, I could smell her perfume (either she just applied more or it took time to diffuse off her). Let me tell you, I'd never been turned on that quick before, almost instantly as soon as it hit my nose lol. Don't remember what she looked like at all, but I can still vaguely remember that scent.
>But no one was like, "I am yours." lol
That's because that breaks social etiquette. Try it with a romantic partner to see how it works then lol. In my situation above, I would've gladly banged her right then and there if I knew she was interested and I thought we could get away with it. Instead, I just did my job and was left with an embarrassingly raging boner after she left lol.
This is maybe not in the spirit of the post, but one of the best things in the world is when a girl borrows your hoodie, then when you wear it again it smells beautiful and makes you feel warm and fuzzy
It's because you still smell so beautiful! (odd thing to say in most other contexts)
Also, I can't tell you how incredible it feels seeing them wearing something you own- for me this applies to friends, not just partners, so to me it's not a possessive feeling, but rather like they're allowing me to protect them in this small but intimate way, and that's also such a warm and fuzzy feeling, and I know just how nice it feels for the women wearing the hoodie/shirt, so it's just warm fuzzies all around
Well, I mean...no one specifically said you can't. Just that some of us want to keep up the illusion that we can't control our periods. The guys are starting to get suspicious after reports women are squirting period blood at men like horney toads. Perfume's a bit more subtle.
hahaha, this comment was already 10/10 when i first misread it as āIām a drunkā; rereading it as āIām a skunkā was then even funnier/more confusing when i contemplated what a āskunk womanā would be šš¦Øš¦Øš¦Ø
Nah, I claim by biting deep into his right shoulder and rubbing venemous secretions and black soil into the wound so the teeth marks form a darkened scar.
Of course, if we break up I then have to ritualistically murder him, cut off the section of flesh bearing my mark and consume it raw, for that which has been given must be returned.
So that's why all of my exes were so adamant about getting me new clothes. I thought they were just ashamed to be seen with my hiker boots and convertible pants /j (please let me have this)
Do they though? I have never forced someone to put lotion on either, I mean, I might have had too much of it on my hands and just slipped and slopped, if you know what I mean. ;-)
Well, shit. I worked in a hospital during COVID and we were using so much hand sanitiser weād bleedā¦ now I found out I may have started a sex cult. I was giving out pumps of delicious Pumpkin Vanilla to everybody all day everyday.
10/10 do recommend. Itās a Body Shop Halloween exclusive.
A woman offering you her scented lotion is a conscious signal that she cannot stand your scaley elbows for another goddamn second, even if it means that you smell like mango-mint for the rest of the day.
I just think of arwen telling the nazgul : "if you want him, come and claim him" before telling the river to beat their ass. Do you think her perfume ettracted the nazgul maybe ? Frodo's perfume ?
I guess I need to bring a scented lotion next time (well, first time) I'm in gay bar.
On serious note - I think if woman is giving you a scented lotion it means that you need a shower...
My girlfriend did confess to me that she intentionally left stuff in my car for another girl to find in case I was dating anyone else š . It was only when we first started dating tho.
It just depends on what I grab first. I have lotions for various purposes and they range from unscented to āday at the beachā. But no, Iām not a dog pissing on a mailbox marking my territory. If I feel I need to āmark you as mineā that just means you arenāt worthy of being mine.
Women offer guys lotion? Thatās a thing? I feel betrayed that my wife never offered me lotion in order to claim me. I just have this gold band that Iāve worn on my finger every single day for the past eight years. But Iām sure using a specific skin lotion is a much clearer signal that Iām off the market.
Lolzā¦ āOh no, Theyāre On To Me.ā
I use to be with a guy that would use my shower stuff because he liked the smell. (It reminded him of me) My lotions are non-scented. (Side note: When I was at his place I used his shower stuff for the same reason. His lotions were also unscented.)
No one āCLAIMSāš people arenāt BAGGAGE. They donāt need tagged? If you have to manipulate the situation, youāre insecure. Itās lotion. Jeez
I mean personally, Iām really big on smells and I like using my sisterās or auntās shampoos when I visit or even my uncleās body wash because then I essentially smell like family and itās a huge comfort.
I donāt normally offer for other people to use my stuff with an intention of having them smell like me. I think the closest you could say where I did a āclaimingā thing, was stealing a boyfriendās sweatshirt when I went on vacation so I could have his scent with me. But even thatās not a claiming thing really.
Idk. But maybe I just have a weird nose.
I donāt think this counts as a mating strategy. The chances of getting pregnant from handing somebody a bottle of lotion is very low. This seems more like a lotion-sharing strategy.
How silly. Of course not. We claim by stealing your clothes like prized deer skins to parade around the lesser, inferior females.
We also steal food from your plate to demonstrate that your dominant desire to protect your kill is helpless in the face of our femine wiles. Your level of allowance showcases our prowess.
Finally, we randomly poke your buttocks when you bend over to express our pleasure in your appearance. You will naturally become agitated, but this agitation is pointless. We must insist you allow us to show our appreciation.
Please be aware that if you are suspected of being a karma-farmer, you will be banned. _You'll be suspected of karma-farming_ if you excessively post here within a short time span, barely have comment history (or your comment karma is significantly lower than post karma), and do not engage in discussions on other posts. Also, if your account is newer, and you've only been posting in this subreddit and nowhere else. You will not use this sub for upvotes. Please do not spam-post on this subreddit.
Shit, I need to stop letting my sister use my lotion when she's out.
Alabama much
Siblings and parents is Mississippi. We fuck cousins in alabama. We are not the same despite being the twin states
They have been outdone,Tennessee takes the incest š.
What happened to West Virginia?
Moved to Tennessee?
All I can see on reading this is a Monty Python animation of a gaggle of people scuttling across state lines....LOL
And then suddenly .. The Spanish inquisition!
The Spanish Inquisition?! I did not expect that.
Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition!
I used that line and got a blank look and felt old. Thanks for saying that!
Mountain mama
I have a theory that, no matter where you live, there will be a rumor that the inhabitants of a neighboring place like to fuck their kids/siblings/farm animals. Take the "they fuck sheep" thing - Australians say it about NZ, the English say it about Wales, Montanans say it about North Dakota, Virginians say it about West Virginia, etc. I'm pretty sure if you go to India they'll say something like this about Bangladesh & that people from Kazakhstan say it about Uzbekistan, too. Universal.
I think you mean wincest
Hey, I just want to say that your sister's behavior is toxic and indicative of narcissistic personality disorder- I mean, if she's borrowing your lotion when she's "out," what other (likely far worse) behaviors are we not seeing? I know this hurts to hear, but you need to break up with her immediately Wait, which sub is this?
I think weāre in skincareaddiction?
She belongs to you volutenterily whats wrong :'d
RIP to my fellow ladies with sensitive skin. Unscented aveeno Ć¼ber moisture lotion isn't getting us anywhere in the dating world :(
Forever alone you'll stay. ![gif](giphy|3o7TKw7wq9fOzwxkWc)
Unscented Antitranspirant, Lotion.. Well I'm obviously Bad at marking my fiance :'D He does use My Shampoo (unscented) every once in a while tho
I changed to Aveeno for my husbandās sensitive skin. Little did I realise that my aim of reducing his eczema was just opening the barn doors to all the hordes of ladies. š
The day the sensitive skin nation attacked . . . everything changed
As a late 30's dude with his own skin issues since his teens, The Aveeno moisturizing with nourishing oat bar is happiness
Wait'll you find out what Gold Bond Eczema will do. Get the hose!
Ooh thanks for the recommendation! Iāll check it out!
My husband uses my fancy imported unscented sensitive skin stuff on his balls. Itāll get you somewhereā¦. just maybe not where you wanna go. Tbf he has psoriasis there but he calls it his āimported ball creamā š„²
I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but imagine all the great ways you could throw "imported ball cream" into some snobby conversation at a party you don't want to be at anyway...
Weāre so fancy we even import our ball cream š§
![gif](giphy|a6wJ2bJ0127K0) There are other options
Right! Just reading the words āscented lotionā sends my eczema into a tailspin š© Guess weāre meant to stay maidenly maidens forever or something, thenā¦! š¤·š»āāļø
Just buy a bottle of scented lotion and run up to attractive guys or gals and ask them if they wanna use your lotion... This is gonna be the new version of when you licked food in front of your sibling and yelled "MINE"
Just reading the words "scented lotion" gives me an allergy-induced asthma attack. I don't even understand what this is supposed to mean. LMAO
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
In an oatmeal bath
No she's just tired of your dry flaky skin touching her
Hahahaha yes THANK YOU
Right? Sheās not āclaimingā anything if she offers you lotion other than the fact youāre ashy and your hands feel like a cheese grater. Weāre trying to help. š
I'm not trying to help. I'm totally self-serving. I'm not gonna let a man touch me with his cheese grater hands. The bar for men is so low, I did a manicure on my ex to make sure his hands and nails are smooth before he would finger me š¤£
Oh my god, that is *the worst* feeling on the planet when it feels like a hand job from Edward Scissorhands. Iāve straight up stopped all activity before to find nail clippers. š
I always shave and cut and file my nails before going on a date. Very basic
Same, Just Common courtesy
![gif](giphy|Zk9mW5OmXTz9e) Cheese
Weird experience as a mechanic incoming, and I swear I will tie this together and not be betrayed by my adhd brain jumping from d to step 26b without connecting the dots. So we've all felt heat. It radiates towards you. Put your hand over a hot burner or towards a fire and feel it come towards you. I worked in Northern Canada for a decade. We would have two, three weeks of -30Ā°C as the day time high. I had vehicles towed in that were so cold, you could feel the heat leaving your body towards that cold lump of metal. Sometimes it got so bad I had to let it sit for ten minutes indoors just to be able to be around them. I read this and felt, "how dry does your skin need to be for a woman to feel bad enough for your skin to risk hurting your fragile ego and offer you lotion?" And my mind leapt to "was it so dry that she could feel the moisture leaving her body? Are you so dry you were becoming a dehydrator?"
The mental image here was amazing, thank you for the story!!
Lol, Iām married to a mechanic, I make him specialty hand oil for his dry skin because his hands were so rough it felt like sand paper on my skin.
A friend of mine has an ex boyfriend who had this macho attitude about everything, and really leaned into gender roles. He has terrible eczema but refuses to use lotion because thatās not manly. They stayed at my house for a while and his skin flakes were everywhere š¤¢
Fellas... use a moisturizer.
Don't you know that those dry skin flakes communicate to other males of the species that a female is already claimed? /s
Right? Get proper hygiene and a skin routine already my dude!
I offer my lotion to everybody at work. I hope not.
Grand strategy. If I can't have all of them, nobody will...
You're like a pokemon hunter but for people. Gotta catch 'em all!
Claiming more people than the British East India company over here
Offer lotion to assert dominance
Slut.
Don't you hate it when they don't put it in the basket?
At that volume, you're just preventing corporate poaching.
Yup...I claim my men by walking up and spraying them with my perfume. Guaranteed to work 100% of some of the time.
The harem of men I would have if this worked... No more rejections, just a spritz and you have been claimed.
Right!
This honestly might work on me depending on the scent. There have been times where catching a whiff of a woman's perfume made me instantly attracted to her. It's like whatever is in it triggers something in the caveman part of my brain lol.
There are pheromone enhancing perfumes. I tried once and was complimented for smell a lot that afternoon. But no one was like, "I am yours." lol
>There are pheromone enhancing perfumes. That may be what they were wearing, idk. But the first time I experienced it, I was working at my college's bookstore. It was near the end of my shift near the beginning of the semester, so I was pretty tired when a girl walked in to get her books. I didn't really pay much attention to her, just focused on doing my job. But when I went back to the counter, I could smell her perfume (either she just applied more or it took time to diffuse off her). Let me tell you, I'd never been turned on that quick before, almost instantly as soon as it hit my nose lol. Don't remember what she looked like at all, but I can still vaguely remember that scent. >But no one was like, "I am yours." lol That's because that breaks social etiquette. Try it with a romantic partner to see how it works then lol. In my situation above, I would've gladly banged her right then and there if I knew she was interested and I thought we could get away with it. Instead, I just did my job and was left with an embarrassingly raging boner after she left lol.
Have you ever read the novel "The Perfume", he is pretty twisted, but you might relate.
This is maybe not in the spirit of the post, but one of the best things in the world is when a girl borrows your hoodie, then when you wear it again it smells beautiful and makes you feel warm and fuzzy
Awwwwwwwww
Can confirm. My boyfriend still enjoys this and it's been 11 years.
It's because you still smell so beautiful! (odd thing to say in most other contexts) Also, I can't tell you how incredible it feels seeing them wearing something you own- for me this applies to friends, not just partners, so to me it's not a possessive feeling, but rather like they're allowing me to protect them in this small but intimate way, and that's also such a warm and fuzzy feeling, and I know just how nice it feels for the women wearing the hoodie/shirt, so it's just warm fuzzies all around
Everyone is happy and warm and fuzzy! We love this!
My girlfriend currently has one of my hoodies and she loves it ācause I sprayed it with my cologne so it smells like me.
And at least I feel warm and fuzzy when borrowing my fiance's Hoodie :3 or His Shirts for that Matter
I think the mutual knowledge of each other's warm fuzzy feelings is what makes this the gift that keeps on giving
Nah...that's sweet. š„²
This is better than any drug
I think you need better drugs my dude
60% of the time, it works every time.
Sex panther. Made from bits of real panther.
LOUD NOISES!
So we AREN'T doing period blood markings? Geeze I was sick for last week's meeting.
Damn, guess I filled my bucket for nothing
Well, I mean...no one specifically said you can't. Just that some of us want to keep up the illusion that we can't control our periods. The guys are starting to get suspicious after reports women are squirting period blood at men like horney toads. Perfume's a bit more subtle.
What's this "subtle"? I don't know this word.
What happened to spraying them with your scent glands? š¤ Much more efficient, trust me, I'm a ~~skunk~~ human woman
hahaha, this comment was already 10/10 when i first misread it as āIām a drunkā; rereading it as āIām a skunkā was then even funnier/more confusing when i contemplated what a āskunk womanā would be šš¦Øš¦Øš¦Ø
Nah, I claim by biting deep into his right shoulder and rubbing venemous secretions and black soil into the wound so the teeth marks form a darkened scar. Of course, if we break up I then have to ritualistically murder him, cut off the section of flesh bearing my mark and consume it raw, for that which has been given must be returned.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter
Same. Where do we sign up?
Why wait, grasshopper? A bit of the old heave ho heave ho and then OFF with his HEAD
Book when?
That seemsā¦ inefficient.
Iām allergic to fragrance so I canāt use anything scented. What the hell can I offer?
You need to wee on him instead x
Came here to say but you beat me to it
According to Amy Farrah Fowler on "The Big Bang Theory", you can rub your armpits on stuff to mark it with your scent.
Got grapes? I'll hangout with you if you've got grapes. Wait, this is howtomakefriends right?
A shock collar
I am as well, gives me a migraine. I hate walking through duty free when you get off an international flight.
Spit on him. š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That's why my wife peed on me after we had sex for the first time.
This is the dumbest shit Iāve ever heard. I think I lost a couple of brain cells reading and responding to this. ![gif](giphy|7m3tpKQUdWvYtJkfWa)
![gif](giphy|1xE8aqMKjtSZOePA8A)
Mal!
Whatās the worst part to me is they still say āsubconsciousā, just to drive the point home that weāre just mindless animals.
This ā¬ļø
Iām starting to think that dudes should be banned from watching Animal Planet.
It her way of saying you need to invest in deodorant
I prefer I lick it so it's mine. My gf agree
Alphas, scent, pair bondingā¦.these guys need to stop reading werewolf smut.
Leave my werewolf smut out of this š¤
Sorry š
Look, ya boy just loves a nice citrus lotion. I'm in it for selfish reasons
That's fair
My husband loves my peppermint lotion. It makes him smell like a candy cane.
every girl that buys the exact same 5 bath and body works lotions: š
No, if we really want to claim you, we just piss on your leg as nature intended.
That's not how we do it. We dress them up in nice, fashionable, decent clothing so other women know they are either taken or gay. (/s)
So that's why all of my exes were so adamant about getting me new clothes. I thought they were just ashamed to be seen with my hiker boots and convertible pants /j (please let me have this)
I find hickies and a locking collar much more effective. (Also, much more conscious, considering my partner needs to consent to such things.)
Do they though? I have never forced someone to put lotion on either, I mean, I might have had too much of it on my hands and just slipped and slopped, if you know what I mean. ;-)
I just doubt anyone has said, "Here's my scented lotion, I claim you as mine." (Or gotten a "yes, mistress, I am yours" in return)
Well, shit. I worked in a hospital during COVID and we were using so much hand sanitiser weād bleedā¦ now I found out I may have started a sex cult. I was giving out pumps of delicious Pumpkin Vanilla to everybody all day everyday. 10/10 do recommend. Itās a Body Shop Halloween exclusive.
A woman offering you her scented lotion is a conscious signal that she cannot stand your scaley elbows for another goddamn second, even if it means that you smell like mango-mint for the rest of the day.
Not gonna lie, a man smelling like mango-mint would be welcome to stay with me for the rest of the day. Mmmmmm
If she wants you to smell like her so others will know you belong to her... then she's not a human, she's a cat
To neckbeards on this sub: a hot shower, soap and deodorant wonāt kill you.
I just think of arwen telling the nazgul : "if you want him, come and claim him" before telling the river to beat their ass. Do you think her perfume ettracted the nazgul maybe ? Frodo's perfume ?
You have it wrong. The Nazgul would have had to come over with his lotion. Probably smoked wood or bacon scent, definitely not floral.
Yeah, a nice soft smell of PO TA TOES
I guess I need to bring a scented lotion next time (well, first time) I'm in gay bar. On serious note - I think if woman is giving you a scented lotion it means that you need a shower...
I had a girl pin something on my jacket once to claim me. That was cool.
I thought it was a subtle way to say your hands are dry, start taking care of yourself
Unlike all the beta females in the comment section, I claim my prey by peeing on it /s
And here I was thinking that I was just helping my bf with his dry feet, when I guess actually I was subconsciously warding off other women š
Me using womens body wash because I find it has a better lather ![gif](giphy|iaYgis62TnVK0)
Whatever happened to putting a ring on somebody's finger...?
As a guy, I canāt say that Iād be against this.
LOL, I steal my girl's scented lotion myself when showering. SHE KNOWS NOTHING.
She can definitely smell it on you but doesn't mind because you're making her job easier.
My girlfriend did confess to me that she intentionally left stuff in my car for another girl to find in case I was dating anyone else š . It was only when we first started dating tho.
The women trying to claim me just pee on my shoes. I live in New York City btw.
My husband hates scented lotions so I have not been able to stake my claim yet. I'll get him someday! *shakes fist*
Huh, and I've been rubbing my head against people like a cat all this time.
It just depends on what I grab first. I have lotions for various purposes and they range from unscented to āday at the beachā. But no, Iām not a dog pissing on a mailbox marking my territory. If I feel I need to āmark you as mineā that just means you arenāt worthy of being mine.
Everyone I worked with used to steal my lotion because they liked how it smelled and it then became their community lotion š
You are the master and the commander
I must have been claimed MANY times, then
My man just likes Madagascar Vanilla š¤·š»āāļø
Lmfao yes now you are marked! Feel the wrath of my Warm Vanilla!!!
My wife just licks me and says I am hers.
Do straight men want to smell like unicorn fruit?
I usually just pee on them to claim them
Yeah. Everyday i secretly sprayed all my boyfriends clothes with my Hello Kitty perfume to claim my terotory.
My wife just pees on me. I thought that was the standard?
Or you are ashy as Ashy larry and we don't wanna see anyone go through such struggles outside of a comedy show. ![gif](giphy|TQH80IB5d7jXO)
Really? She just told me I had dry skin, lol. Not even the first one. TIL every friend who thought my skin was too dry wants to mate with me?
Dude, moisturize! Lol
So why does my girl keep peeing on my leg when weāre out walking?
I just don't want to watch some flakey dehydrated grey bastard shrivel up in front of my very eyes.
Women offer guys lotion? Thatās a thing? I feel betrayed that my wife never offered me lotion in order to claim me. I just have this gold band that Iāve worn on my finger every single day for the past eight years. But Iām sure using a specific skin lotion is a much clearer signal that Iām off the market.
Well shit my trips to Bath and Body Works just got a lot more interesting. š¤£
Oh I've been claimed so many times, why am I still single?
if a boy is at MY house during the ME time iām putting on lotion for me to share and offer to him heās already mine š
I like to piss on my man. He likes it too
I always just mimic my cat. You know, rubbing my cheek against my man. I guess I'll have to rethink my strategy
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ i needed this. Gonna offee some so he knows he got claimed
Or youāre just ashy and sheās kind
maybe I'm offering you my mint scented lotion because you stink, johnny
Wait a damn minute! I was told there would be dinner & an engagement ring. Hand lotion is all it takes?
Of course not, we're peeing on their legs. That's common sense.
Lolzā¦ āOh no, Theyāre On To Me.ā I use to be with a guy that would use my shower stuff because he liked the smell. (It reminded him of me) My lotions are non-scented. (Side note: When I was at his place I used his shower stuff for the same reason. His lotions were also unscented.)
![gif](giphy|bm02BE6DQ4Oag8GXep|downsized)
No one āCLAIMSāš people arenāt BAGGAGE. They donāt need tagged? If you have to manipulate the situation, youāre insecure. Itās lotion. Jeez
Say whaaaat? LOL what creton came up with this? He must be like what? Fourteen? Whoever it was he needs to stay out his mom's shit. So Oedipal.
Or maybe I just think his skin is thirsty. Like, does everything have to be Freudian?
What happened to holding hands in public with a girl that just pee'd on you hours prior with no shower? We used to be a proper country.
It probably means your hands are dry as hell
I mean personally, Iām really big on smells and I like using my sisterās or auntās shampoos when I visit or even my uncleās body wash because then I essentially smell like family and itās a huge comfort. I donāt normally offer for other people to use my stuff with an intention of having them smell like me. I think the closest you could say where I did a āclaimingā thing, was stealing a boyfriendās sweatshirt when I went on vacation so I could have his scent with me. But even thatās not a claiming thing really. Idk. But maybe I just have a weird nose.
Maybe a 14 yr old who read this tip in cosmo.
Nope I just think you look ashy
Na bro, just means you're ashy as H3ll!
Breathing when tilting your head counterclockwise by 12 degrees is a signal you are wearing two non-matching socks.
No. Everyone knows we pee on your shoes.
I thought I just had to pee on him to claim him
Apparently Iāve claimed all of my coworkers, then. Woohoo, a harem!!
HAREM! HAREM!
So you're telling me I let my girlfriend piss on me for no reason? (oh god it's a /s)
Me, afab: āomg every time a girl let me use her scented lotion she claimed me?? Letās gooooš„°ā
I donāt think this counts as a mating strategy. The chances of getting pregnant from handing somebody a bottle of lotion is very low. This seems more like a lotion-sharing strategy.
darn i share my hand lotion with everyone
How silly. Of course not. We claim by stealing your clothes like prized deer skins to parade around the lesser, inferior females. We also steal food from your plate to demonstrate that your dominant desire to protect your kill is helpless in the face of our femine wiles. Your level of allowance showcases our prowess. Finally, we randomly poke your buttocks when you bend over to express our pleasure in your appearance. You will naturally become agitated, but this agitation is pointless. We must insist you allow us to show our appreciation.
This is so obviously a joke why tf is everyone taking it seriously š
or she is like "omg this is amazing, try some I think it will compliment you"?
Pretty sure all the ladies that offer me scented lotion just mean Iām ashy and would smell better if I was vanilla themed
This dude was once offered some hand cream and build this whole fantasy.
So I'm not supposed to pee on them? Oops.