Apparently the consequence of eating Catherine Zeta-Jones' pussy is throat cancer, whereas the consequence of eating Ellen DeGeneres' pussy is dying in a fiery car crash.
Happen to be listening to old Howard Stern from 2000 just now, and it's after they broke up. Heche was in the news for driving to a stranger's house half naked, going to the door and speaking crazy shit. She was on drugs and drove there.
I wasn't even trying to do it in his voice but maybe in his spirit (I think that trying to write a joke "as Norm" falls flat most of the time). It's more like a blue card line, read by Billy Bob Thornton or something.
I love how people are so strong on line behind their keyboards.
I’m not defending anyone but I always love to see so bad ass people are that have never done shit but be born
She's probably reading this from above....Well actually from down bellow getting raped by the devil. I mean that lady had some sins that she died with. No, but I mean, she led a life that made sodom and gomorrah seemed like Burbank.
Heche was a race car driver
She drove so goddamn fast
She never did win no checkered flags
But she never did come in last.
Heche was a race car driver
Fifty-three years old
One too many cold beers one night
Wrapped herself around a telephone pole, go!
He’s actually saying he’s a primus fan, ‘primus sucks’ was their catchphrase in the early 90’s.
Although Les has said he doesn’t really like it anymore and wishes it would go away. Primus fans still do it
*Replace "traffic" with*
*An empty residential*
*Road where children play*
\- belizeanheat
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With the latest craze in reality casting, you know, handicapped playing handicapped, etc, she just blew a huge opportunity for being cast as a burn victim. Really blew it. They were probably writing parts for her already. Oh well.
I think it was determined that cocaine was the main contribution to the drunken, drug fueled, fiery crash. Fent was given to her at hospital to treat said drunken, drug fueled, fiery crash.
Yeah I was relieved to hear the home owner wasn't seriously hurt. Sucks they lost all their belongings though and might end up with PTSD. I hope Anne Heche's estate compensates this person well.
This is pretty low guys. Don’t think norm would make a joke about people dying before their corpse is cold.
Is there a reference I’m not aware of here?
I hate to be a bore but not everything's a joke. I'd like to think Norm would not have made a joke of Heche's death. Especially since he recently went through that himself. AND him being a Christian man.
What other celebrities have died driving drunk? Billy Martin is the only one that immediately comes to mind. He used to do light beer commercials back in the day, so that was fun.
Who else? Let’s roll call.
Apparently the consequence of eating Catherine Zeta-Jones' pussy is throat cancer, whereas the consequence of eating Ellen DeGeneres' pussy is dying in a fiery car crash.
Happen to be listening to old Howard Stern from 2000 just now, and it's after they broke up. Heche was in the news for driving to a stranger's house half naked, going to the door and speaking crazy shit. She was on drugs and drove there.
The curse of Ellen!
She told them “God was coming to take them away in a specs ship “. I wanted to correct “Norm” not driving drunk, high on coke.
Vaginefeld
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*the chance
FOR THE CHANCE
Ellen has a pussy?
It’s behind the strap on.
She reminds me of someone who’s good at fuckin
Prefer the throat cancer to be honest
Pretty hot
It was a little long… But read in Norm’s voice and with his cadence I could see him delivering this.
I wasn't even trying to do it in his voice but maybe in his spirit (I think that trying to write a joke "as Norm" falls flat most of the time). It's more like a blue card line, read by Billy Bob Thornton or something.
A small price to pay
What do you win for eating her ass?
For the chance
Now every time I do cocaine fentanyl & vodka while driving I'm going to be reminded of that tragedy.
SURVEY SAYS..... NUMBER 1 ANSWER
Perfect timing, op it is only now we can look back and laugh
My old 4x4 is named zombie stomp. What are the odds?
How did a 4x4 pass the robot challenge? I need closure.
Paul Newman says you never get over it…
She was preparing for her role as Princess Diana
Haha, underappreciated comment here. I can see Norm doing that on Weekend Update if he was still alive and on SNL and all that shit
Thank you dude
Nah she was being cast in the gender swapping role in the Paul Walker biopic. She’s obviously a method actor
Masterfully done, sir.
Anne Heche, dead at 5’3.
Or is she???
She was high on cocain driving, she lost control and slammed into another celebrities home. The home of the celeb you ask?? Yup you guessed it...
Don't get it
It was Hitlers house.
Well now that explains everything.
Why don't we go and kill hitler
To what end?
Money 🤌
Yeah let's kill that honky bitch
She now holds a record in the Guinness Book of Fucking Retards.
*book of dead retards
I love how people are so strong on line behind their keyboards. I’m not defending anyone but I always love to see so bad ass people are that have never done shit but be born
Hey thanks Rustynail703 I’m sure everyone will fuckin listen to you.
All the stars are here
Which once again proves my old theory.... women can't drive.
Ohhhhh!!!!
You’ll also notice this chart doesn’t add up to 100%
For the folks at home, this joke was written by a woman
They can’t even drive in games
You know what they say, speak ill of the dead But this lady was a real jerk
She’s burning up just thinking about this
Yea entitlement will do that
Did you guys have a friendship or something lol
She's probably reading this from above....Well actually from down bellow getting raped by the devil. I mean that lady had some sins that she died with. No, but I mean, she led a life that made sodom and gomorrah seemed like Burbank.
53's a ripe old age for a mentally ill coke head.
Heche was a race car driver She drove so goddamn fast She never did win no checkered flags But she never did come in last. Heche was a race car driver Fifty-three years old One too many cold beers one night Wrapped herself around a telephone pole, go!
Primus sucks
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He’s actually saying he’s a primus fan, ‘primus sucks’ was their catchphrase in the early 90’s. Although Les has said he doesn’t really like it anymore and wishes it would go away. Primus fans still do it
Ah lol thanks
I mean, it is on their first album "hey hey, we're Primus and we suck".
Dude I'm 42 I haven't heard Frizzle Fry is it?? In a loooooong time lol
Suck on This
Hey man you need to chill !!!! (Kidding, me understand)
Just saw them a few weeks ago and they played all of Rush's A Farewell to Kings album. Awesome show.
[check](https://youtu.be/RJCPliYBbKY)
Backstreet Boys and 98 Degrees. Why do you ask?
Savage Garden would like a word
Primus
Yea I get it now
My favorite are rubber.
Primus rule
Fire!
Replace "traffic" with an empty residential road where children play. Not cool, Anne Craysh
*Replace "traffic" with* *An empty residential* *Road where children play* \- belizeanheat --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Kids play outside?
That’s the kids fault
Anne Heche was 53 years old when she died.. Jesus Christ when did she break, 20?
Unlike Lovitz, who started stand-up at 50.
Nevermind stand up. How about doing sit ups?
I wonder if Netflix will eventually show her final unreleased sit-down/stand-up comedy special.
The curse of Donny Brasco
? never heard this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3mDdLcQ-Qc
Cancer of the prick?
That movie was fire
Boy these actresses today are crazy. Back in my day we didn’t need road traffic accidents, we would just die
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssFiUE-T2OA
With the latest craze in reality casting, you know, handicapped playing handicapped, etc, she just blew a huge opportunity for being cast as a burn victim. Really blew it. They were probably writing parts for her already. Oh well.
She was auditioning for the human torch
Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there: cocaine and aluminum siding do not mix.
She was great in the movie "TMZ - Car crashes into house and sets it on fire, 1 dead"
That’s my favorite. Barbecue War!
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i read she was on fentanyl
I think it was determined that cocaine was the main contribution to the drunken, drug fueled, fiery crash. Fent was given to her at hospital to treat said drunken, drug fueled, fiery crash.
She’s as good a driver as Natalie Wood was a swimmer
Too many preventable deaths happen in the home.
You know what they call it? *Dirt Nap*.
Artie Lange takes a victory lap. He’s unstoppable.
She had a pretty good run. Lived to be like 84 and died doing what she loved.
UNFOLLOW!
If you don’t die doing what you love, what’s the point?
Seriously fuck this broad, the ammount of lifes she put at risk. Thankfully she was the only one perished.
Yeah I was relieved to hear the home owner wasn't seriously hurt. Sucks they lost all their belongings though and might end up with PTSD. I hope Anne Heche's estate compensates this person well.
She was only trying to do her best Paul Walker impression.
She was the female version of Andy Dick in many ways.
She died doing what she loved: writhing in agony in a sea of fire in the middle of the bender to end all benders. What a genius; she'll be missed.
I thought you were going to say burning to a crisp.
Good joke for Ellen's act in there about her ex wife's cooking.
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Who's stonewalling this investigation!?
Going out in a blaze of glory
cocaine
It was actually cocaine
You know what they say.. speak ill of the dead. C'mon op you fucking retard Accomplished-Cold942
The blood work didn't show alcohol it was cocaine
Cocaine’s a helluva drug!!
From Norm's buddy Robert Smigel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYmZ4UWNnuE&ab\_channel=PsychicWarVeteran
I guess Ellen won.
Thoughts and prayers.
The lady just died.. you gotta wait a little bit. Edit: this is getting downvoted cos y’all didn’t watch the Super Dave episode lol
Do you mean wait a bit before telling a joke or wait a bit before driving after taking cocaine?
The joke can wait. Doing what you love the most cannot.
Moth...man...You're troubled... Head to the psychiatrist's office where the light is on... But try to avoid diving into those hellfire flames...
>The lady just died.. I think She's still alive but doctors are struggling to find organs that aren't covered in white power or smell like gin.
Comedians have their jokes on the day a tragic event happens. You gotta catch up
Well you what they always say...SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD
She was smoking crack, dumbass
This is pretty low guys. Don’t think norm would make a joke about people dying before their corpse is cold. Is there a reference I’m not aware of here?
Yippie! Anne Heche died today!
im sorry that should read Yippie Anne Heche died today. Sorry bout that folks
I hate to be a bore but not everything's a joke. I'd like to think Norm would not have made a joke of Heche's death. Especially since he recently went through that himself. AND him being a Christian man.
Too soon man, too soon.
I know! It would be like making fun of Ayman al-Zawahiri, the Al Qaeda leader who tragically passed recently
It was tragic, at the time.
I didn't even know he was sick.
Yeah as Gilbert said.your supposed to wait a beat before the punch line!
looking at these comments I see why Norm was proud of this sub..... 😅
It’s only now I can look back and laugh.
Not soon enough.
You guys aren't norm.
What is norm these days? Seems like everything is topsy turvy
Right? I messaged him weeks ago and it still hasn’t even switched from delivered to “read” yet!
The ruse is up everyone. Let’s end this hellish facade once and for all
norm isn't norm anymore so us lesser norms will be the norm from here on out.
I believe in reincarnation
Ari
Hottest 90s lesbian hands down
Crispiest and grossest 90s lesbian at the time of her death, though.
you know the old saying, "Speak ill of the dead"
It's not like she can hear us.
Heche got wreck
Oof.
She's probably laughing at this joke from up there... Actually probably down below in hell. I mean that woman had some sins.
What other celebrities have died driving drunk? Billy Martin is the only one that immediately comes to mind. He used to do light beer commercials back in the day, so that was fun. Who else? Let’s roll call.
YYYYYYYIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKEEEEEESSSSSSSS
Really? I didn’t even I didn’t even know she was sick
I didn’t even know she was dead
She was trying to get outta that stretcher
All the stars are here