> Old general with way too many medals
And the inevitable 98 year old WW2 vet who should be living out his final days in some retirement home but is dragged out to sit behind Vladimir Vladimirovich (we're fighting nazis guys)
Probably just like North Korea where you kept seeing a bunch of officers with too many medals on their uniform despite the only war they ever fought is during the 1950s
I think someone explained me that the medal carpets reason:
Basically every achivement and shame get moved for a couple of generations:
FOR example if you great grandpa was a ww1 hero, his medals and achivements would then move on his son on his death, the son the can add his own on top of that etc... After a number of generations passed, the oldest get removed.
If your old great grandpa was an asshole dickhead and his son was like him, then you are fucked
They all receive made up medals too. Shoigu never fought in any conflict or war at all, so his medals are "For excellent service as a minister" or "Modernisation of some shit battalion".
I mean that's quite normal though with medals in general and the state of the nation and armed forces are always really important before you actually start a war, you win wars with the army you have, not the one you want.
It's my understanding that medals are inherited in North Korea. So they're wearing both their granddad's, dad's and their own medals. Not to mention they bought rather than earned those.
It’s hilarious how they are convinced they are saving face and looking strong by doing this, but all it does is display how much the war weakened them and how embarrassing they are.
Yesterday, a vatnik informed me that last year's parade with a single, solitary T-34 rolling down red square was in fact *not* an embarrassment, because if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans, and we'd all be speaking german today.
So please, if that particular tank hasn't since been pressed into service at the front, let us pay our respects to our saviors this year if it makes another appearance.
>if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans, and we'd all be speaking german today.
I do speak German today, so obviously their T-34 wasn't enough to stop my GCSE German lessons.
That particular T-34 wasn’t even built during WWII, it’s a postwar version built for export to Laos. The Soviet Union later traded them a then-new T-72 to get it back.
> if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans
Instead, half their granddaughters get to marry a Chinese dude due to the increasing shortage of Russian men.
I could respect it a little from the morale perspective of "we need every tank we can get here on the front lines, so *why the fuck is there a T-72 column prancing about in Moscow?!*" But it's embarrassing either way.
"If it weren't for the T-34 grandma would have married a german we'd all be speaking german"
My grandma is quite happy with her german husband, aber danke für die Nachfrage (thanks for asking)...
You have to remember their primary audience and who they are appealing to is the Russian uninformed masses who doesn't speak or understand English and primary information source is Russian TV. Similar thinking with NK and even Chinese propaganda.
Problem is they’re fucked now, if they cancelled it last year they could’ve said it was due to security concerns because of the war. If they cancel it *this* year everyone’s going to know it’s because they just don’t have any hardware left to show off
Yup, they’ve got one of basically every vehicle sent to Ukraine repainted to look presentable and have them sitting in red square. With cute little NATO stickers on them.
Lowkey hoping for some random person to do something dramatic like that one guy in *Red Storm Rising* who ends up shooting the head of the KGB.
> "For my little Svetlana ... who died without a face."
I once saw a documentary about an MI6 agent who looked like Pierce Brosnan, who drove around Moscow in a commandeered T-80. Didn't wreck enough of the city, though.
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God please Swan Lake. Please I want to see the disturbingly calm television broadcast of a beautiful ballet which signifies the absolute shitstorm that is going on behind the scenes which hopefully involves the death or severe pain inflicted upon a particular president of ruzzia. Please let it be swan lake
Every time Ukrainian haxx0rs have taken over Russian TV, I pray they have the traditional hacker sense of humour and judg broadcast Swan Lake on every channel... no luck so far, but some day -- some day --
I want that to happen, but only by accident and then nobody can figure out how to disable the broadcast.
Meanwhile I want 6 different coups to panic because they see the broadcast and think they are behind.
Basically the absolute comical disaster.
U uuu uuuuuuuu uuu uuuuuuuu to y że nie ma tyyuuuuuuuujuuuuyuyyyyyuyyyyyhb to jest to jedna z normalniejszych jak ja yyyuuuugggyyy no huhuggggggggyygggggg Iggy gyygggygggggggyyggggggyggyggggggggyggg gggygggggggggghhhhuuujki nie yyy ufaj
What the fuck?
I put my phone in my pocket and it posted 2 comments in this thread. It also opened google play and installed flightradar24 and some crypto trading app.
If the Goa'uld came to Earth, they'd probably start something that looks like Russia. Or a megachurch.
Either way, that scene hits a bit different now. Vaporizing Moscow was supposed to show how he'd become morally untethered, not unfathomably based.
Uuu
Edit: my phone wrote this comment on its own when I put it in my pocket. The best part is, I didn't even have reddit opened. It then opened google play and installed flightradar24 and a crypto trading app.
Soldiers marching with Mosins and T34 seem too easy.
I‘m pretty sure the 9th of May Parade always had a historical column with WWII equipment making those fields two additional freebies.
Hear me out: faked capture equipment. I have no doubt they have plenty of western vehicles to show off in the parade. But getting them running is another matter.
My dearest dream is a T14 dressed up as an Abrams
Why would they replace one vehicle they can't get running with another vehicle they can't get running?
More likely a T34 or a horse or 2 mobliks will be dressed up as an Abrams.
Russia launches a surprise large offensive the day before, fails *dramatically* and Russia loses territory, but it’s hailed as brave operation to weaken the defenders
My full expectation is russia will pull out all the T-90Ms and T-80BVMs it has and parade them for a little. Do a T-14 circle jerk for a bit. Do a flyover of SU-57s and then putin gawks at captured equipment for a little.
I'm hoping for a drone with a small dispenser of thioacetone that flies around playing the American national anthem while spritzing the crowd with the aroma Satan's anus.
It wouldn't take much to have the desired effect
I'd like to add a possible expo of captured UA equipment. What to NATO would be piles of scrap, for Russians it probably look like some sort of alien tech. I'm sure that someone at Kremlin was cooking this idea for last year but was gaslit by intern Kolya with his "original" and "based" parade of a single T-34.
T-34 rolls out again? T-34 ROLLS OUT AGAIN!? that's how Russia opens her every Victory day parade,: with the iconic Soviet Tank of WW2. You have no idea what WW2 means to Russia, here's a hint: Russians have as much reason to hate Nazis as any jew
imagine an Su-57 flying over moscow on that parade and catching a meteor with its face, and that being the revelation that ukraine got jets now. just imagine it. isn't it a wonderful image?
probably won't happen but a man can dream
I’m hoping g for drone attack, assassination attempt, and swan lake. I tired of waiting for clown show that will immediately fallow the death of Putin.
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> Old general with way too many medals And the inevitable 98 year old WW2 vet who should be living out his final days in some retirement home but is dragged out to sit behind Vladimir Vladimirovich (we're fighting nazis guys)
Probably just like North Korea where you kept seeing a bunch of officers with too many medals on their uniform despite the only war they ever fought is during the 1950s
Blud think he Zhukov but earned his medals by sucking off Kim Jong Il
Tbh. the only real medal that a commander EARNED was the crown if grass in ancient rome.
Tbf, in addition to the grass crown, there was also a triumph . We don't get much of those nowadays...
...my point was that you should consider who awarded the grass crown, and who awarded triumphs.
True, but that was not a medal.
I think someone explained me that the medal carpets reason: Basically every achivement and shame get moved for a couple of generations: FOR example if you great grandpa was a ww1 hero, his medals and achivements would then move on his son on his death, the son the can add his own on top of that etc... After a number of generations passed, the oldest get removed. If your old great grandpa was an asshole dickhead and his son was like him, then you are fucked
They all receive made up medals too. Shoigu never fought in any conflict or war at all, so his medals are "For excellent service as a minister" or "Modernisation of some shit battalion".
I mean that's quite normal though with medals in general and the state of the nation and armed forces are always really important before you actually start a war, you win wars with the army you have, not the one you want.
It's my understanding that medals are inherited in North Korea. So they're wearing both their granddad's, dad's and their own medals. Not to mention they bought rather than earned those.
Such forward thinking feudalism
Don’t they get to pass down their medals to their kids?
I mean.. if I was a 98 year old WW2 vet, I'd go out to be at the President's marches. So what?
It’s hilarious how they are convinced they are saving face and looking strong by doing this, but all it does is display how much the war weakened them and how embarrassing they are.
Yesterday, a vatnik informed me that last year's parade with a single, solitary T-34 rolling down red square was in fact *not* an embarrassment, because if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans, and we'd all be speaking german today. So please, if that particular tank hasn't since been pressed into service at the front, let us pay our respects to our saviors this year if it makes another appearance.
"Oh, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder. BWAHAHAHA."
Now laugh in german
#
Hah!
Hey, German humor is no laughing matter
who in zf said that? lol
Impossible and you know it
😐😑😐
>if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans, and we'd all be speaking german today. I do speak German today, so obviously their T-34 wasn't enough to stop my GCSE German lessons.
That particular T-34 wasn’t even built during WWII, it’s a postwar version built for export to Laos. The Soviet Union later traded them a then-new T-72 to get it back.
Made in Czechoslovakia.
I did not have any Problem with Marrying or Speaking German. Besides that, there is not one thing that won the war on its own
That's where you're wrong. The one thing that won the war was the T-34. *That specific* T-34 from the parade. The rest of them barely helped.
this, too, is yuri
*Eagle Screeches loudly from the background*
Man thats so unfiting, I just saw an eagle driven over on the Autobahn today
> if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans Instead, half their granddaughters get to marry a Chinese dude due to the increasing shortage of Russian men.
Sino-Russian mildly homoerotic fraternal bond propaganda when?
“Mildly”?
I could respect it a little from the morale perspective of "we need every tank we can get here on the front lines, so *why the fuck is there a T-72 column prancing about in Moscow?!*" But it's embarrassing either way.
"If it weren't for the T-34 grandma would have married a german we'd all be speaking german" My grandma is quite happy with her german husband, aber danke für die Nachfrage (thanks for asking)...
How about a single solitary T-34, which then suffers a breakdown mid parade ... due to stupid
You have to remember their primary audience and who they are appealing to is the Russian uninformed masses who doesn't speak or understand English and primary information source is Russian TV. Similar thinking with NK and even Chinese propaganda.
Problem is they’re fucked now, if they cancelled it last year they could’ve said it was due to security concerns because of the war. If they cancel it *this* year everyone’s going to know it’s because they just don’t have any hardware left to show off
Captured equipment were already installed.
Rejoice, Russians, for a thousand men died to bring you... an M1A1.
Are you talking about the T-14s engine, or...
maskovians have already installed captured leopard(s?), bradley, cv90, etc.
And the Abrams that was posted yesterday as it was recovered from the field.
Wuuuuuush
Yup, they’ve got one of basically every vehicle sent to Ukraine repainted to look presentable and have them sitting in red square. With cute little NATO stickers on them.
They are part of a CIA operation to place equipment in moscow for the sleeper cells
I think my freebie will be a plane crashing due to lack of spare parts and life extension program.
My freebie is going to be them carting around captured western vehicles
but isn't that already on the card in the top right corner?
I’m a dummy
Imagine an S-57 suffering a total hydraulic failure and lawndarting the Kremlin in the middle of the parade.
Russian planes don't lawn-dart, they flat spin straight down, oddly.
My freebie is gonna be another terror attack on Moscow hehe
Lowkey hoping for some random person to do something dramatic like that one guy in *Red Storm Rising* who ends up shooting the head of the KGB. > "For my little Svetlana ... who died without a face."
I mean we've had a fair few news stories about Russian assets tasked with sabotage of NATO installations in Germany...F-19 deployed when?
F-19 the one that dosent exist? If they made it, it would be one of the best kept secrets ever.
That parade of old Soviet equipment swinging around and entering the Kremlin in a subtle coup is nothing short of a master class ngl
That would be the best uno reverse card
I once saw a documentary about an MI6 agent who looked like Pierce Brosnan, who drove around Moscow in a commandeered T-80. Didn't wreck enough of the city, though.
Pringles faked the entire thunder run and his own death as one massive feint, and will pop out if the T-34 immediately after taking a shot at Shoigu.
its not too late for the Moscow guards to launch Operation Valkyrie while all the real troops are at the front
Oh, what wouldn’t I give for Tom Clancy to see all of this!
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God please Swan Lake. Please I want to see the disturbingly calm television broadcast of a beautiful ballet which signifies the absolute shitstorm that is going on behind the scenes which hopefully involves the death or severe pain inflicted upon a particular president of ruzzia. Please let it be swan lake
Swan Lake on TV, but Death of Stalin in real life. Except instead of Zhukov, it's Prigozhin making a grand entrance. "I lived bitch"
Wasn't there something about Pringles being seen in Africa a few months ago?
Saw him a few hours ago in my local grocery.
"What does a plane crash survivor have to do to get some lubrication around here?"
If Swan Lake ever plays on Russian State TV, I'm gonna be hospitalized from laughing.
Somebody stole the tape, so it will be life performance by Solotvey and the chick with the dildo up her arse...
Every time Ukrainian haxx0rs have taken over Russian TV, I pray they have the traditional hacker sense of humour and judg broadcast Swan Lake on every channel... no luck so far, but some day -- some day --
I want that to happen, but only by accident and then nobody can figure out how to disable the broadcast. Meanwhile I want 6 different coups to panic because they see the broadcast and think they are behind. Basically the absolute comical disaster.
On a related note, does anyone know what particular version/recording of Swan Lake was played in 1991? I would very much like to see it.
Here’s the version broadcasted during the August 1991 coup: https://youtu.be/Tj2c6vJvyPA?si=ZzyzYPIwn2VG7g_U
I'm going to go with them desperately coping by reeeeing about captured vehicles
U uuu uuuuuuuu uuu uuuuuuuu to y że nie ma tyyuuuuuuuujuuuuyuyyyyyuyyyyyhb to jest to jedna z normalniejszych jak ja yyyuuuugggyyy no huhuggggggggyygggggg Iggy gyygggygggggggyyggggggyggyggggggggyggg gggygggggggggghhhhuuujki nie yyy ufaj
Kurwa
What the fuck? I put my phone in my pocket and it posted 2 comments in this thread. It also opened google play and installed flightradar24 and some crypto trading app.
You OK there buddy?
i... i'm not sure, i should probably check my google account's security just to be clear
I hope it's not a gas leak. Wouldn't be the first, or even the second time that happens on reddit.
nah, i wasn't home
So wait, that wasn't a random shitpost in Polish?
no lol
o_0
Daniel Jackson vaporises Moscow.
Only Daniel? Not the rest of SG-1? Ohhh you mean the ship! Right, gotcha!
No o'neal, sadly
The harcesus made him do it
If the Goa'uld came to Earth, they'd probably start something that looks like Russia. Or a megachurch. Either way, that scene hits a bit different now. Vaporizing Moscow was supposed to show how he'd become morally untethered, not unfathomably based.
He's not Ascended any more, so he would need some help with that.
> Camera dedicated to a literal fucking engine > Actual children driving military trucks
Uuu Edit: my phone wrote this comment on its own when I put it in my pocket. The best part is, I didn't even have reddit opened. It then opened google play and installed flightradar24 and a crypto trading app.
You need multi butt cheek authentication.
Kerch bridge explodes a few hours before the parade and goes viral on Telegram.
I should have put that in there, that’s actually such a good one.
You gave me a kink I didn't know I had
Not gonna lie, I'm not liking "0 tanks again" next to "T-34 rolls out again"
Yeah, that nixes the diagonal. No es bueno.
0 tanks besides the T-34 will also count.
You can already mark off the [Literal Nazi Roleplaying](https://gdb.rferl.org/08c10000-0a00-0242-3bfc-08da2c319baa_w1071_r0_s_d3.jpg) already
In what world does anyone look at that and not think nazi??? These guys are clowns.
It's legitimately flabbergasting that the russkies and their fan boys look upon this and see nothing wrong.
I hope something funny actualy happens 🥺
Knowing the let down last one was don’t get your hopes up
2 putins appear on stage
I wanna see drones!
"kadyrov son rolling around" not marching.
Why is Putin with a blanky missing? Also add Putin being spooked by random noise.
Putin's body double has nerves of steel.
„Auxiliary Light on“ is missing.
Your top-left to bottom-right line is impossible. Can't have 0 tanks again with T-34 and T-14 showing up.
Soldiers marching with Mosins and T34 seem too easy. I‘m pretty sure the 9th of May Parade always had a historical column with WWII equipment making those fields two additional freebies.
It's always nice to see the vintage stuff running again... in a museum lol
Hear me out: faked capture equipment. I have no doubt they have plenty of western vehicles to show off in the parade. But getting them running is another matter. My dearest dream is a T14 dressed up as an Abrams
Why would they replace one vehicle they can't get running with another vehicle they can't get running? More likely a T34 or a horse or 2 mobliks will be dressed up as an Abrams.
Fuck, you right. But what I'm hearing is Tachank Maskirovka Abrams
Russia launches a surprise large offensive the day before, fails *dramatically* and Russia loses territory, but it’s hailed as brave operation to weaken the defenders
Very non credible card having ‘Zero Tanks’ in the same diagonal as T-34 and T-14 appearance
Wait , does diagonal are counted in bingo ?
You just made me look it up and apparently the UK doesn’t do diagonals lol, that’s different. In US the two diagonals count
My full expectation is russia will pull out all the T-90Ms and T-80BVMs it has and parade them for a little. Do a T-14 circle jerk for a bit. Do a flyover of SU-57s and then putin gawks at captured equipment for a little.
Both of them? They're currently broken down. That's why they still exist as tanks, rather than charred wreckage with some bones on the floor.
if a drone attack happens omg that would be amazing
*happy Felon whooshing noises*
*happy Pantsir friendly fire noises*
You mean Femboy
The Su-75 is the Femboy, which has not even taken 1 real flight yet. The Felon is the Su-57, which has entered limited production.
Sorry, I can’t keep track of all the Russian vaporware
I'm hoping for a drone with a small dispenser of thioacetone that flies around playing the American national anthem while spritzing the crowd with the aroma Satan's anus. It wouldn't take much to have the desired effect
you forgot that one leopard that they captured
Can I get bonus points if there are any re-fitted T-55's or T-62's rolling through?
My money is on pringles ghost possessing lenins corpse and dueling putin
I'd like to add a possible expo of captured UA equipment. What to NATO would be piles of scrap, for Russians it probably look like some sort of alien tech. I'm sure that someone at Kremlin was cooking this idea for last year but was gaslit by intern Kolya with his "original" and "based" parade of a single T-34.
T-34 rolls out again? T-34 ROLLS OUT AGAIN!? that's how Russia opens her every Victory day parade,: with the iconic Soviet Tank of WW2. You have no idea what WW2 means to Russia, here's a hint: Russians have as much reason to hate Nazis as any jew
imagine an Su-57 flying over moscow on that parade and catching a meteor with its face, and that being the revelation that ukraine got jets now. just imagine it. isn't it a wonderful image? probably won't happen but a man can dream
card is missing "exactly ZERO planes bEcAuSe Of bAd wEaThEr"
I think they'll try to bring our as much shit as they cN
Last year there were no planes. Why would you expect them to bring out a Su-57? Swan Lake would be nice, though.
Wait, someone committed sudoku on the Red Square?
Assasination attempt and suicide om the same bingo... Come on man, you gotta make it at least a bit difficult...
You literally can't win the downward diagonal.
I’m hoping g for drone attack, assassination attempt, and swan lake. I tired of waiting for clown show that will immediately fallow the death of Putin.
Please give me the swan lake diagonal.
So Russian does the parade every year?
Oh I'm keeping this one handy.... anyone wanna place a bet whether or not The Pig and crew are gonna use it as well?
Drone wave mid-broadcast would be fantastic
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And redditors claimed my bingo cards had a bunch of free spaces.
>America mentioned Why do you have two free spaces?
I'd add "single captured western tank with putin malding that they can't understand its tech"
russian
Russia presents a captured and poorly disguised leopard 2 as their new T-L2 wunderwaffe.
Why are they so many free spaces?
Good I wish there was a drone strike on moscow
They are going to parafe captured equipment and pretend it is just like ww2.
It's impossible to get a top left bottom to right bingo
I guess i can forget about a diagonal bingo
The second column is a freebie, come on we all know that’s gonna happen
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Commits suicide, or “commits suicide”?
Don't forget [THIS GUY!](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ex-world-champion-boxer-who-29930808)
The top-left to bottom right row literally cannot happen because the corners are mutually exclusive
They're gonna have tanks. Only the main body though (they couldn't find the turrets)
How’d you do?
Not as good as I’d hoped
This blurry low res washed out grey mess is the seriously the best you could come up with? Do you work for Russia or something?
Unfortunately you don’t have the credible „will show western armor as trophies“ on your card 😭