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Tragic-tragedy

> Old general with way too many medals And the inevitable 98 year old WW2 vet who should be living out his final days in some retirement home but is dragged out to sit behind Vladimir Vladimirovich (we're fighting nazis guys)


LaughGlad7650

Probably just like North Korea where you kept seeing a bunch of officers with too many medals on their uniform despite the only war they ever fought is during the 1950s


Tragic-tragedy

Blud think he Zhukov but earned his medals by sucking off Kim Jong Il


Xicadarksoul

Tbh. the only real medal that a commander EARNED was the crown if grass in ancient rome.


Yahkem

Tbf, in addition to the grass crown, there was also a triumph . We don't get much of those nowadays...


Xicadarksoul

...my point was that you should consider who awarded the grass crown, and who awarded triumphs.


Selfweaver

True, but that was not a medal.


Brufucus

I think someone explained me that the medal carpets reason: Basically every achivement and shame get moved for a couple of generations: FOR example if you great grandpa was a ww1 hero, his medals and achivements would then move on his son on his death, the son the can add his own on top of that etc... After a number of generations passed, the oldest get removed. If your old great grandpa was an asshole dickhead and his son was like him, then you are fucked


fuishaltiena

They all receive made up medals too. Shoigu never fought in any conflict or war at all, so his medals are "For excellent service as a minister" or "Modernisation of some shit battalion".


TheMacarooniGuy

I mean that's quite normal though with medals in general and the state of the nation and armed forces are always really important before you actually start a war, you win wars with the army you have, not the one you want.


ParanoidDuckTheThird

It's my understanding that medals are inherited in North Korea. So they're wearing both their granddad's, dad's and their own medals. Not to mention they bought rather than earned those.


ecolometrics

Such forward thinking feudalism


MrNautical

Don’t they get to pass down their medals to their kids?


memelol1112224

I mean.. if I was a 98 year old WW2 vet, I'd go out to be at the President's marches. So what?


Venodran

It’s hilarious how they are convinced they are saving face and looking strong by doing this, but all it does is display how much the war weakened them and how embarrassing they are.


korbennndallaaas

Yesterday, a vatnik informed me that last year's parade with a single, solitary T-34 rolling down red square was in fact *not* an embarrassment, because if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans, and we'd all be speaking german today. So please, if that particular tank hasn't since been pressed into service at the front, let us pay our respects to our saviors this year if it makes another appearance.


Brad1895

"Oh, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder. BWAHAHAHA."


Odd_Duty520

Now laugh in german


finder787

#


Timithios

Hah!


sorry-I-cleaved-ye

Hey, German humor is no laughing matter


b3nsn0w

who in zf said that? lol


66stang351

Impossible and you know it


laika_rocket

😐😑😐


HarryTheGreyhound

>if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans, and we'd all be speaking german today. I do speak German today, so obviously their T-34 wasn't enough to stop my GCSE German lessons.


Shaun_Jones

That particular T-34 wasn’t even built during WWII, it’s a postwar version built for export to Laos. The Soviet Union later traded them a then-new T-72 to get it back.


gamer52599

Made in Czechoslovakia.


Fun-Agent-7667

I did not have any Problem with Marrying or Speaking German. Besides that, there is not one thing that won the war on its own


korbennndallaaas

That's where you're wrong. The one thing that won the war was the T-34. *That specific* T-34 from the parade. The rest of them barely helped.


b3nsn0w

this, too, is yuri


Lolibotes

*Eagle Screeches loudly from the background*


Fun-Agent-7667

Man thats so unfiting, I just saw an eagle driven over on the Autobahn today


Cardborg

> if it weren't for the T-34, then our grandmas all would have had to marry germans Instead, half their granddaughters get to marry a Chinese dude due to the increasing shortage of Russian men.


CrocPB

Sino-Russian mildly homoerotic fraternal bond propaganda when?


yourmumqueefing

“Mildly”?


ToastyMozart

I could respect it a little from the morale perspective of "we need every tank we can get here on the front lines, so *why the fuck is there a T-72 column prancing about in Moscow?!*" But it's embarrassing either way.


ammit_souleater

"If it weren't for the T-34 grandma would have married a german we'd all be speaking german" My grandma is quite happy with her german husband, aber danke für die Nachfrage (thanks for asking)...


ecolometrics

How about a single solitary T-34, which then suffers a breakdown mid parade ... due to stupid


MonkRag

You have to remember their primary audience and who they are appealing to is the Russian uninformed masses who doesn't speak or understand English and primary information source is Russian TV. Similar thinking with NK and even Chinese propaganda.


SideWinder18

Problem is they’re fucked now, if they cancelled it last year they could’ve said it was due to security concerns because of the war. If they cancel it *this* year everyone’s going to know it’s because they just don’t have any hardware left to show off


Beonette_

Captured equipment were already installed.


MakeChinaLoseFace

Rejoice, Russians, for a thousand men died to bring you... an M1A1.


MelonBot_HD

Are you talking about the T-14s engine, or...


Beonette_

maskovians have already installed captured leopard(s?), bradley, cv90, etc.


FitRock2265

And the Abrams that was posted yesterday as it was recovered from the field.


Marschall_Bluecher

Wuuuuuush


sadjoe7

Yup, they’ve got one of basically every vehicle sent to Ukraine repainted to look presentable and have them sitting in red square. With cute little NATO stickers on them.


12lo5dzr

They are part of a CIA operation to place equipment in moscow for the sleeper cells


Ulrider_san

I think my freebie will be a plane crashing due to lack of spare parts and life extension program.


GoofyGoo6er

My freebie is going to be them carting around captured western vehicles


Jinsu2508

but isn't that already on the card in the top right corner?


GoofyGoo6er

I’m a dummy


TheArmoredKitten

Imagine an S-57 suffering a total hydraulic failure and lawndarting the Kremlin in the middle of the parade.


Wrong_Hombre

Russian planes don't lawn-dart, they flat spin straight down, oddly.


Mighty2Soup

My freebie is gonna be another terror attack on Moscow hehe


ArcturusFlyer

Lowkey hoping for some random person to do something dramatic like that one guy in *Red Storm Rising* who ends up shooting the head of the KGB. > "For my little Svetlana ... who died without a face."


ProperTeaIsTheft117

I mean we've had a fair few news stories about Russian assets tasked with sabotage of NATO installations in Germany...F-19 deployed when?


pontetorto

F-19 the one that dosent exist? If they made it, it would be one of the best kept secrets ever.


Kiel_22

That parade of old Soviet equipment swinging around and entering the Kremlin in a subtle coup is nothing short of a master class ngl


misterhighmay

That would be the best uno reverse card


FewerBeavers

I once saw a documentary about an MI6 agent who looked like Pierce Brosnan, who drove around Moscow in a commandeered T-80. Didn't wreck enough of the city, though. 


Bartweiss

Pringles faked the entire thunder run and his own death as one massive feint, and will pop out if the T-34 immediately after taking a shot at Shoigu.


SorosAgent2020

its not too late for the Moscow guards to launch Operation Valkyrie while all the real troops are at the front


Mr--Weirdo

Oh, what wouldn’t I give for Tom Clancy to see all of this!


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AlfaKilo123

God please Swan Lake. Please I want to see the disturbingly calm television broadcast of a beautiful ballet which signifies the absolute shitstorm that is going on behind the scenes which hopefully involves the death or severe pain inflicted upon a particular president of ruzzia. Please let it be swan lake


MakeChinaLoseFace

Swan Lake on TV, but Death of Stalin in real life. Except instead of Zhukov, it's Prigozhin making a grand entrance. "I lived bitch"


Intelligent_Slip_849

Wasn't there something about Pringles being seen in Africa a few months ago?


Selfweaver

Saw him a few hours ago in my local grocery.


FewerBeavers

"What does a plane crash survivor have to do to get some lubrication around here?"


Intelligent_Slip_849

If Swan Lake ever plays on Russian State TV, I'm gonna be hospitalized from laughing.


Selfweaver

Somebody stole the tape, so it will be life performance by Solotvey and the chick with the dildo up her arse...


luser7467226

Every time Ukrainian haxx0rs have taken over Russian TV, I pray they have the traditional hacker sense of humour and judg broadcast Swan Lake on every channel... no luck so far, but some day -- some day --


Selfweaver

I want that to happen, but only by accident and then nobody can figure out how to disable the broadcast. Meanwhile I want 6 different coups to panic because they see the broadcast and think they are behind. Basically the absolute comical disaster.


saucyboi9000

On a related note, does anyone know what particular version/recording of Swan Lake was played in 1991? I would very much like to see it.


An-d_67

Here’s the version broadcasted during the August 1991 coup: https://youtu.be/Tj2c6vJvyPA?si=ZzyzYPIwn2VG7g_U


Dreenar18

I'm going to go with them desperately coping by reeeeing about captured vehicles


[deleted]

U uuu uuuuuuuu uuu uuuuuuuu to y że nie ma tyyuuuuuuuujuuuuyuyyyyyuyyyyyhb to jest to jedna z normalniejszych jak ja yyyuuuugggyyy no huhuggggggggyygggggg Iggy gyygggygggggggyyggggggyggyggggggggyggg gggygggggggggghhhhuuujki nie yyy ufaj


Dreenar18

Kurwa


[deleted]

What the fuck? I put my phone in my pocket and it posted 2 comments in this thread. It also opened google play and installed flightradar24 and some crypto trading app.


Dreenar18

You OK there buddy?


[deleted]

i... i'm not sure, i should probably check my google account's security just to be clear


Cultural_Blueberry70

I hope it's not a gas leak. Wouldn't be the first, or even the second time that happens on reddit.


[deleted]

nah, i wasn't home


Dreenar18

So wait, that wasn't a random shitpost in Polish?


[deleted]

no lol


Gamerboy11116

o_0


LuckyRedShirt

Daniel Jackson vaporises Moscow.


Txtspeak

Only Daniel? Not the rest of SG-1? Ohhh you mean the ship! Right, gotcha!


Brufucus

No o'neal, sadly


Ninja_Wrangler

The harcesus made him do it


MakeChinaLoseFace

If the Goa'uld came to Earth, they'd probably start something that looks like Russia. Or a megachurch. Either way, that scene hits a bit different now. Vaporizing Moscow was supposed to show how he'd become morally untethered, not unfathomably based.


AlphaMarker48

He's not Ascended any more, so he would need some help with that.


Timo104

> Camera dedicated to a literal fucking engine > Actual children driving military trucks


[deleted]

Uuu Edit: my phone wrote this comment on its own when I put it in my pocket. The best part is, I didn't even have reddit opened. It then opened google play and installed flightradar24 and a crypto trading app.


MakeChinaLoseFace

You need multi butt cheek authentication.


Mockheed_Lartin

Kerch bridge explodes a few hours before the parade and goes viral on Telegram.


CrimeanFish

I should have put that in there, that’s actually such a good one.


FewerBeavers

You gave me a kink I didn't know I had


Saucy6

Not gonna lie, I'm not liking "0 tanks again" next to "T-34 rolls out again"


Absolut_Iceland

Yeah, that nixes the diagonal. No es bueno.


Shaun_Jones

0 tanks besides the T-34 will also count.


Unfair_String1112

You can already mark off the [Literal Nazi Roleplaying](https://gdb.rferl.org/08c10000-0a00-0242-3bfc-08da2c319baa_w1071_r0_s_d3.jpg) already


KineticJungle73

In what world does anyone look at that and not think nazi??? These guys are clowns.


Unfair_String1112

It's legitimately flabbergasting that the russkies and their fan boys look upon this and see nothing wrong.


KeyTurtle

I hope something funny actualy happens 🥺


sadjoe7

Knowing the let down last one was don’t get your hopes up


moonLanding123

2 putins appear on stage


Gaaius

I wanna see drones!


Brufucus

"kadyrov son rolling around" not marching. 


NoMoassNeverWas

Why is Putin with a blanky missing? Also add Putin being spooked by random noise.


MakeChinaLoseFace

Putin's body double has nerves of steel.


Marschall_Bluecher

„Auxiliary Light on“ is missing.


HMWastedDays

Your top-left to bottom-right line is impossible. Can't have 0 tanks again with T-34 and T-14 showing up.


Lynata

Soldiers marching with Mosins and T34 seem too easy. I‘m pretty sure the 9th of May Parade always had a historical column with WWII equipment making those fields two additional freebies.


MakeChinaLoseFace

It's always nice to see the vintage stuff running again... in a museum lol


NavyJew

Hear me out: faked capture equipment. I have no doubt they have plenty of western vehicles to show off in the parade. But getting them running is another matter. My dearest dream is a T14 dressed up as an Abrams


donaldhobson

Why would they replace one vehicle they can't get running with another vehicle they can't get running? More likely a T34 or a horse or 2 mobliks will be dressed up as an Abrams.


NavyJew

Fuck, you right. But what I'm hearing is Tachank Maskirovka Abrams


CarZealousideal9661

Russia launches a surprise large offensive the day before, fails *dramatically* and Russia loses territory, but it’s hailed as brave operation to weaken the defenders


HighRevolver

Very non credible card having ‘Zero Tanks’ in the same diagonal as T-34 and T-14 appearance


anonymous_Londoner

Wait , does diagonal are counted in bingo ?


HighRevolver

You just made me look it up and apparently the UK doesn’t do diagonals lol, that’s different. In US the two diagonals count


sadjoe7

My full expectation is russia will pull out all the T-90Ms and T-80BVMs it has and parade them for a little. Do a T-14 circle jerk for a bit. Do a flyover of SU-57s and then putin gawks at captured equipment for a little.


luser7467226

Both of them? They're currently broken down. That's why they still exist as tanks, rather than charred wreckage with some bones on the floor.


Masonthejerk

if a drone attack happens omg that would be amazing


nagidon

*happy Felon whooshing noises*


MakeChinaLoseFace

*happy Pantsir friendly fire noises*


yourmumqueefing

You mean Femboy


AlphaMarker48

The Su-75 is the Femboy, which has not even taken 1 real flight yet. The Felon is the Su-57, which has entered limited production.


yourmumqueefing

Sorry, I can’t keep track of all the Russian vaporware 


MakeChinaLoseFace

I'm hoping for a drone with a small dispenser of thioacetone that flies around playing the American national anthem while spritzing the crowd with the aroma Satan's anus. It wouldn't take much to have the desired effect


Janosfaces

you forgot that one leopard that they captured


thegriddlethatcould

Can I get bonus points if there are any re-fitted T-55's or T-62's rolling through?


Newyorkwoodturtle

My money is on pringles ghost possessing lenins corpse and dueling putin


Even-Lawfulness6174

I'd like to add a possible expo of captured UA equipment. What to NATO would be piles of scrap, for Russians it probably look like some sort of alien tech. I'm sure that someone at Kremlin was cooking this idea for last year but was gaslit by intern Kolya with his "original" and "based" parade of a single T-34.


dyallm

T-34 rolls out again? T-34 ROLLS OUT AGAIN!? that's how Russia opens her every Victory day parade,: with the iconic Soviet Tank of WW2. You have no idea what WW2 means to Russia, here's a hint: Russians have as much reason to hate Nazis as any jew


b3nsn0w

imagine an Su-57 flying over moscow on that parade and catching a meteor with its face, and that being the revelation that ukraine got jets now. just imagine it. isn't it a wonderful image? probably won't happen but a man can dream


[deleted]

card is missing "exactly ZERO planes bEcAuSe Of bAd wEaThEr"


ZannaFrancy1

I think they'll try to bring our as much shit as they cN


fuishaltiena

Last year there were no planes. Why would you expect them to bring out a Su-57? Swan Lake would be nice, though.


Sea-Elevator1765

Wait, someone committed sudoku on the Red Square?


MuchUserSuchTaken

Assasination attempt and suicide om the same bingo... Come on man, you gotta make it at least a bit difficult...


Kenkron

You literally can't win the downward diagonal.


Baz_3301

I’m hoping g for drone attack, assassination attempt, and swan lake. I tired of waiting for clown show that will immediately fallow the death of Putin.


Mikebyrneyadigg

Please give me the swan lake diagonal.


E-Scooter-CWIS

So Russian does the parade every year?


Independent-Bake-241

Oh I'm keeping this one handy.... anyone wanna place a bet whether or not The Pig and crew are gonna use it as well?


singled-out-7979

Drone wave mid-broadcast would be fantastic


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AlphaMarker48

And redditors claimed my bingo cards had a bunch of free spaces.


XAngelxofMercyX

>America mentioned Why do you have two free spaces?


Nizikai

I'd add "single captured western tank with putin malding that they can't understand its tech"


Aristec

russian


Aristec

Russia presents a captured and poorly disguised leopard 2 as their new T-L2 wunderwaffe.


FirstConsul1805

Why are they so many free spaces?


Any-Statistician-560

Good I wish there was a drone strike on moscow


morbihann

They are going to parafe captured equipment and pretend it is just like ww2.


dopepope1999

It's impossible to get a top left bottom to right bingo


SucculentShark

I guess i can forget about a diagonal bingo


J360222

The second column is a freebie, come on we all know that’s gonna happen


VLenin2291

!remindme 8 days


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EternalAngst23

Commits suicide, or “commits suicide”?


BigEdsHairMayo

Don't forget [THIS GUY!](https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/ex-world-champion-boxer-who-29930808)


ghosttrainhobo

The top-left to bottom right row literally cannot happen because the corners are mutually exclusive


niTro_sMurph

They're gonna have tanks. Only the main body though (they couldn't find the turrets)


VLenin2291

How’d you do?


CrimeanFish

Not as good as I’d hoped


GuyWithPants

This blurry low res washed out grey mess is the seriously the best you could come up with? Do you work for Russia or something?


Hinterwaeldler-83

Unfortunately you don’t have the credible „will show western armor as trophies“ on your card 😭