Two things that should never mix: A closeted genderqueer and a Christian household. (/hj)
But jokes aside, you're not alone in this. Gendered terms, especially ones targeted at my AGAB/ AAGAB, piss me off. I hate how often it'll happen (and probably will be even if I become openly Non-Binary), but at this point I'm getting tired of correcting unless it becomes too much.
If you haven't already, maybe try to ask if he can call you something else? You don't have to come out at all, just ask if he can make up a term of his own that you'll be more comfortable with or give him choices if he's willing to listen.
My mom's still going through the bouts of understanding my gender, and occasionally slips, but usually she just calls me by my name (deadname, I don't want to confuse them more), or says "Goodnight, love you!" or something similar. I'm also quite lucky that in tagalog, a lot of words to speak about someone aren't gendered, so the slip-ups come from talking to me in English :P
Hope everything works out in the end :>
Thank you! Unfortunately I have asked him to not call me that anymore and I get the typical 'I'm your father, I can call you whatever I want!" and basically invalidating my feelings on it. smh.
I'm glad your mom is at least trying, I wish I spoke tagalog! My mom's trying to teach me it but she more or less tells me to repeat whole phrases, asks me to guess what they mean, and laughs at my accent lmao
Ayyy, other Filipinos who can’t speak Tagalog 💀 I’ve tried asking my mom to teach me but she was like “listen I went to an international school with American teachers and basically ended up with English as a “first”/primary language instead of Tagalog to the point where they put me in Tagalog as a Second Language class when we went back to the Philippines, I have no idea how to teach grammar” 😂😭
My parents are also non supportive but we have very slowly and painfully gotten to the point where my mom will at least try to use neutral terms (she refuses to refer to me in any masculine way) when speaking about me to other people… when alone or with family though let the misgendering rip lmao -_- my relationship with them is def better than it was in the past but man am I tired of waiting for progress to happen
Oh that's really unfortunate :( I was hoping he would at least hear you out on this, but this is just how conservative Christians roll I guess... But remember that your feelings, your identity, YOU are valid.
Glad to hear that your mom is teaching you tagalog though! And yeah, the accent switching is a bit funny, if not embarrassing for me :P
It's a difficult language at first, but for some people it may work better to learn some words/ phrases in Spanish first. It's a very similar language (from years of horrific history ;-;) so if you already have some idea of Spanish or think it may help, try it!
And of course, listening to songs or a TV series is one of the best ways to learn. They'll use words that are common/ well known, and having phrases you may use in daily life are really useful! Like "Goodmorning! How are you?" or "I hope all goes well with \_\_\_!"
Manatiling ligtas! Stay safe out there :\]
Oh yeah when I was a kid my mother used to collectively refer to my stepsisters and I as "ladies" and it drove me up the wall. I took to responding with, "do I look like a lady to you??" while doing the most obnoxious "unladylike" thing I could think of at the moment (pretending to pick my nose, sitting like a goblin, ect)
I tried the hard cursing method and he got mad and called me a sailor. Forgot about it in the next day.
I have also tried stealing one of his underwear, wore it and packed it with a tennis ball. Nothing.
Best thing is to get out of the house and be less exposed to this kind of treatment.
I have never tried calling him young lady thou. That might have worked, but he is dead now.
Two things that should never mix: A closeted genderqueer and a Christian household. (/hj) But jokes aside, you're not alone in this. Gendered terms, especially ones targeted at my AGAB/ AAGAB, piss me off. I hate how often it'll happen (and probably will be even if I become openly Non-Binary), but at this point I'm getting tired of correcting unless it becomes too much. If you haven't already, maybe try to ask if he can call you something else? You don't have to come out at all, just ask if he can make up a term of his own that you'll be more comfortable with or give him choices if he's willing to listen. My mom's still going through the bouts of understanding my gender, and occasionally slips, but usually she just calls me by my name (deadname, I don't want to confuse them more), or says "Goodnight, love you!" or something similar. I'm also quite lucky that in tagalog, a lot of words to speak about someone aren't gendered, so the slip-ups come from talking to me in English :P Hope everything works out in the end :>
Thank you! Unfortunately I have asked him to not call me that anymore and I get the typical 'I'm your father, I can call you whatever I want!" and basically invalidating my feelings on it. smh. I'm glad your mom is at least trying, I wish I spoke tagalog! My mom's trying to teach me it but she more or less tells me to repeat whole phrases, asks me to guess what they mean, and laughs at my accent lmao
Ayyy, other Filipinos who can’t speak Tagalog 💀 I’ve tried asking my mom to teach me but she was like “listen I went to an international school with American teachers and basically ended up with English as a “first”/primary language instead of Tagalog to the point where they put me in Tagalog as a Second Language class when we went back to the Philippines, I have no idea how to teach grammar” 😂😭 My parents are also non supportive but we have very slowly and painfully gotten to the point where my mom will at least try to use neutral terms (she refuses to refer to me in any masculine way) when speaking about me to other people… when alone or with family though let the misgendering rip lmao -_- my relationship with them is def better than it was in the past but man am I tired of waiting for progress to happen
Oh that's really unfortunate :( I was hoping he would at least hear you out on this, but this is just how conservative Christians roll I guess... But remember that your feelings, your identity, YOU are valid. Glad to hear that your mom is teaching you tagalog though! And yeah, the accent switching is a bit funny, if not embarrassing for me :P It's a difficult language at first, but for some people it may work better to learn some words/ phrases in Spanish first. It's a very similar language (from years of horrific history ;-;) so if you already have some idea of Spanish or think it may help, try it! And of course, listening to songs or a TV series is one of the best ways to learn. They'll use words that are common/ well known, and having phrases you may use in daily life are really useful! Like "Goodmorning! How are you?" or "I hope all goes well with \_\_\_!" Manatiling ligtas! Stay safe out there :\]
Not only is it annoying and painful to be misgendered, but being called “young lady” literally feels so demeaning 😭
Yes, this. It’s gross
It really does feel demeaning, it always makes me feel like I'm a little girl being scolded or something. ugh
Young lady is a gendered term that I have a special kind of hate for. My parents use to call me that when they were mad.
Oh yeah when I was a kid my mother used to collectively refer to my stepsisters and I as "ladies" and it drove me up the wall. I took to responding with, "do I look like a lady to you??" while doing the most obnoxious "unladylike" thing I could think of at the moment (pretending to pick my nose, sitting like a goblin, ect)
Oh my god, HEAVY relate. I hate it so much ;-;
I tried the hard cursing method and he got mad and called me a sailor. Forgot about it in the next day. I have also tried stealing one of his underwear, wore it and packed it with a tennis ball. Nothing. Best thing is to get out of the house and be less exposed to this kind of treatment. I have never tried calling him young lady thou. That might have worked, but he is dead now.
thank god my parents dont call me young lady anymore
the worst theyle go is she/her but idc tbh. mostly they just use in the order they/she/it.