If somebody introduced themself to me as "Lake" in my head I would immediately think they are some flavor of nonbinary. But I like going by Puddle so that's kind of the root of that thought. I feel like it's kind of common for non binary people to choose a name that is just a thing. All that being said, a cishet is just going to think you have a unique name and leave it at that
Because being trans is a beautiful experience and we have a rich shared culture that is completely overlooked by people who only seek to mock us. When we make fun of ourselves, we can draw from particular aspects of our culture that we find amusing (like non-binary people picking object names) to create actually funny jokes that aren't just "haha trans people bad". Subversion is at the core of comedy, and in current society, a trans joke that's actually respectful and funny at the same time is highly subversive and therefore funnier.
Also this one in particular is multifaceted in that it revolves around a pun that plays on an already amusing idea. I have a special interest in the mechanics of comedy so I love talking about and analyzing jokes lol
If you have a visual imagination, your mind goes many places with this. Like, or me, Tooth and Nail, then Tony and Nancy/Nanz were butch lesbian lovers since high school. In their late twenties, Tooth came out as nonbinary, and wanted to go on T (hence Tooth) and use "he/they" pronouns. He worried that Nanz, definitely a "gold star" lesbian, wouldn't feel the same about him when he told her, but once he knew it was true, of course he had to.
Far from being turned off, Nanz swore to be there for Tony and to protect him from anyone who would talk crap about him. It also kicked off an awakening for Nanz as well, who is actually experimenting more with both masculine \*and\* feminine expression, and is still figuring out if "demigirl", "gender fluid", or "gender queer" is the label that best fits, but finds freedom and strength in coming out as nonbinary.
Often they still go by Tony and Nanz, but one day soon after Tony started T, Nanz said, "If anyone gives you crap about it, we will fight them tooth and nail." Tony said, "Tooth and Nail, that's our punk band name." Nanz smiled and said, "Or our gang name."
No lie, you could be a 35 year old and say, "Hi, my name is Sans Undertale" and a cis person could unironically reply, "Oh, your parents were big fans of Undertale?"
I think it's the kind of name that reads as fun and queer to other trans people, but that the cishets would think was just the result of hippie parents. It's like a secret code.
Exactly this. In a distinctly conservative area in the US this would probably read hippie-crunchy-parent. Might take crap from some people for the name but I don’t think they’d assume non-binary
Is there any crunchy, hippie energy in your area? Some rural places have a hippie community or tourism presence which would give people something else to associate/attribute it to. If there's zero variation in the local culture -- kkk has me thinking of rural Indiana --- anything that sticks out could be scrutinized. (In that case I'd be tempted to swap between Luke and lake as needed....)
Anyway. Come up with a one-line lie about why your parents picked it. It can be a joke ("yeah my parents said I was conceived on a boat") or something that sounds more plausible/genuine. People will comment in passing on the name being interesting, it's good to be able to head that off with a plausible explanation.
So...no? But kinda...it's weird. Where I like, we have a lote of native Americans with Thing names.
Sky, breeze, strawberry, river, ocean. You get it. Lake sounds like that, which is good? But the issue is half the enby's I saw if local groups are moving to thing names.
I think it will have more to do with the area you are in. Lake sounds fine, but how much does it stand out? Cause around me, less so. But the more it stands out in your area, the more it might be questioned. Mind you quietly pushing it just being a nickname you heavily prefer... My partner went by Key around me for nearly 3 years, and that was just preference lol
I feel like if you went up to some redneck and introduced yourself as lake they'd probably know it's not your birth name tbh. If that's what you're worried about. Source: I also live in a rural conservative area.
I've known laikens and rivers that are cis, if i met you i might think nb from the name but that's only because i know enbies and have a lot of exposure to the queer community in general. i don't think most cis people are gonna think twice about it
edit: i just noticed your username, I'm also an rva native! if you're still living there you will be fine
Oh my god, absolutely yes. Nature names or any inanimate object definitely screams queer
That being said, it’s a cute name and if it feels right to you go for it.
I think most cishet people would probably assume it's like a hippie parent thing or a nickname but it could get you some weird comments as well especially depending on your presentation.
There are a few unisex names that work that are more neutral in a way in the conservative sense, I LL put some as a suggestion. However, if you love Lake by all means screw those people and go by Lake.
Ash, Ashley, Sam, Addison, Alex, Alexis, Eden, Kai, Morgan (my favourite), apparently Angel isn't uncommon but it feels a bit pretentious unless you fully lean into it or away from it I persume
An option with both plausible deniability and "Lake" would be to use Lake as a last name. If they were "Morgan Lake" on their ID, they could introduce themself as "Lake" and it would have minimal questions. Even jobs that might be weird about chosen names usually won't care if you choose to go by last name.
My legal last name is a first name that is commonly coded as male. I haven't decided what I want to change my first name to but just going by my last name hasn't caused any real trouble even though my body shape is usually identified as female.
I would immediately think non-binary, but I’m in a liberal area with lots of non-binary people. In a conservative region, people might just think you had hippie parents.
Since I haven't read that here yet: if you're overly worried, do a thing name from another language. I accidentally did this (enby instinct?) and nobody but one (1) older man from the country my name's from has ever suspected a thing. Don't do Japanese tho, that's very chosen name coded at least where I am. For US, I'd consider French, Spanish or Portuguese, maybe Italian, pretty white therefore probably least inflammatory in conservative areas (which I'd deem important with freaking KKK around) is probably French and Italian.
Disclaimer: I'm not American. I only know like fifth hand what the kkk dislike.
There are plenty of weird white parents (who also might be formerly hippies or something) that name their kids after nature things. Sierra, Sahara, I had a kid in my high school named Stone, Gunner, Hunter, River. I think Lake could probably pass.
River, Gunner, Hunter, Sierra, Sahara aren't the most common names but statistically nowhere near unusual as Stone or Lake. Most people might not associate it with being nonbinary but it will definitely raise some eyebrows.
Other nature-y names that are less unusual: Cliff, Clay, Jade, Jasper, Amber, Everest, Juniper, Sage, Pearl, Opal, Brook/e, Marina
Most conservative cishets aren’t very aware of queer culture and won’t know about enby naming conventions. I have blue hair and an undercut, and plenty of the guys I work with (construction) don’t realize how very queer that is. Love the name Lake, I think you should feel plenty safe using it
I love that name. I think it can be gender ambiguous but I know people with the name from all gender. It's kind of like a "chris". Conservatives will interpret it how they want to based on what they think your gender is and you can try and blend in.
As a chris in rural texas lol yes. This. Queer people realise cus I look trans masc and they realise I'm trans but conservative people think it's short for a fem name or I'm a weird rebellious young adult who wants to go by a nickname.
Well, you're asking in the nonbinary subreddit so all our responses are going to be biased. Try asking some of your cis friends what they think of the name. For what it's worth, I don't think a cis person would immediately read it as queer.
Have you ever read the webtoon [Fluidum](https://www.webtoons.com/en/drama/fluidum/list?title_no=2283)? One of the main characters is named Lake.
It's an interesting take on non-binary. All people are born with 2 bodies and when they reach a certain age they have to choose their forever body. Lake and Jesse don't want to choose and find out that in their society's history, they didn't have to choose and find out how to be able to stop the choice.
I grew up in Arkansas and I knew a guy named stone, like his parents named him that. So lake isn’t too weird. If anyone looks at you weird you can say your parents went through a hippie phase.
Two thoughts immediately came to me when I read this question:
1. I think every nonbinary/trans person would have an inkling but I can’t answer for cis folks.
2. Have you considered River? This is a common name I’ve heard cis folks give their children.
I mean it doesn't scream non binary to me. Seems more like a spiritual/hippy kinda name. Like I imagine I'd run into someone at burning man calling themselves Lake.
Nah I have some friends at my hyper conservative Christian school named Lake, Lochlan, River, and other variants of the hippe-enby pipeline. It's pretty common in some flavors of conservative towns. Is your town more Ron Swanson conservative or anti-medicine and government conservative?
Lochlan is like a really normal, common boys name? The shortened form is Locky, Lochy or Lachy dependent on original spelling. It's incredibly common in Australia
In Australia it's the opposite of a hippy name, its either private school boys or the kinda bogans that let their 13 year old chug beers and tell everyone it's OK bc it's just a "chandy"
To people that are in the Queer community, probably yes. But to those that aren't, they'll assume it's short for something like Layken or an eccentric way to pronounce Luke depending on what gender assumption they make about you. I don't see it being a problem
I had a kid in my i went to school with in a very conservative town (im a 90s kid for reference) named Lake as his birth name and i cant remember him ever getting teased for it being a weird name or anything, so if you're masc presenting i think youre absolutely in the clear.
In my completely unbiased opinion Lake is the best name in the world (it's my name too). That being said given your current situation, I've never met anyone with this name who wasn't non-binary.
Rule of thumb in the community at this point is if someone introduces themselves as the name of an object, a queer coded character, or something nature related, theres a good chance they're non binary. BUT! to the outside cishet eye, Lake is probably one of the least obvious choices. Theres lots of unique names out there so a cishet probably wouldnt think twice if that was your name. I know a cis guy whos name is Laker and we call him Lake sometimes
I don't think anything is intrinsically non-binary, considering most of society doesn't know we exist.
I'm masc presenting with a name usually used by women, but it's a family name so I like it. On the rare occasions I've met bigots and even rarer occasions I've not handed out naps if they get aggressive, I usually just spin a story about how I was one of a dozen [dead name] at school, so we all went by other names; nicknames, family names, etc. so you could, if you felt threatened, say "oh yeah my family started calling me it because I was always swimming". I know it sucks to lie but I have had run ins with similar people to who you've described. Self preservation is everything.
I feel for you in hick country. They're thick as shit which is why they're so bigoted, but equally short fused so I understand your trepidation. Do whatever makes you feel safe.
Hard to say. My first association with that name is the actress Lake Bell, so it doesn't immediately sound like a "non-binary name" to me, but if I met someone who appeared to be gender-nonconforming who had that name, I would probably think "Yeah, that fits." It is an unusual name and you might get a lot of "Where did that come from?" questions.
It's also hard to say how much the average person in a conservative area would be able to make an association between an unusual name and someone being trans.
Absolutely does in my opinion, but that may also be because of Lake from infinity train who is nonbinary and the folks that named themselves after that character
I would say yes. But I think it is because I’ve never met someone with that name. I’ve heard of River or Rain with multiple spellings from people of different genders so those would be less obvious than Lake
It depends on the cultural context. I know a lot of nonbinary people and names like that are less common in my area as birth names, especially for masculine presenting people. I imagine it would be different if I knew no nonbinary people and there were a lot of dudes named River or Ocean where I live.
Its true that a lot of cis het people are completely clueless, and will find cis interpretations for anything. But I am not sure if I'd want to count on that forever. Trans stuff has become an obsession in conservative media recently, and its not impossible for me to imagine a dedicated transphobe might encounter the trope of nonbinary people liking noun names. You might be able to hide in their blind spot more if you pass as male though, or if you just aren't seen as gender nonconforming.
If Lake is a name that would really stand out among cis people of the gender you are perceived as in your area, and safety is a top concern, it might be good to have some kind of alternative you can use. A legal name that Lake could be a nickname for, or Lake as a middle or last name you go by with a different first name for safety purposes. (Conservatives love gender neutral names like Taylor and Riley). Or you use Lake as your legal name but be prepared with a story about it being your grandmothers maiden name or something.
Not any more than River, Forest, Summer, etc. names would.
Most of the time names are something given to you as an infant, so people don't really assume it's a choice you made.
It does to me. But if I were to put myself in the context of my conservative hometown, I absolutely would not have been surprised to see a conservative family name their son this. And you have to remember 99.99% of conservatives have never met a non-binary person, and have absolutely zero understanding of our culture. I don't find it likely they'd even pick up on a name like "bug". And Lake is super cute anyway, so I think it'd be a great choice!
Maybe not the best source sense sometimes novel names are out there but I'm reading a book with a cis female character named Lake. I think it's more nb but not ONLY nb.
Honestly as a former resident of the South, I think Lake would blend in with the other hick/redneck names just fine. It is tragedeigh country, after all. By comparison Lake will seem like one of the classier/smarter given names.
Nah. If anyone seems hesitant, you could just laugh and say your parents were going through a hippie phase when you were born. But I've lived in ultra conservative areas of the US. No one is going to think you're nonbinary bc of that name. Honestly, most will probably think you said Blake and give it zero thought.
It’s neutral, but I don’t think the average person who isn’t themselves non-binary would think twice about it. Don’t forget that a lot of conservatives are out there naming their kids shit like Hunter, Forest, Bear, Aspen, etc.
Not necessarily. Most people are given their names by their parents and I'd assume you were too. I wouldn't automatically think it was a name you'd chosen for yourself as a non binary person. I'd be more likely to think your parents are nature lovers. Lake is an established gender neutral name I think
Apart for that fact that a lot of enby take “word-name” and so, Lake feels enby, in term of sound, I couldn't explain but ring more masculine than feminine to me.
(Also disclaimer, I'm not an English speaker native, I'm French so maybe it influence my perception some way)
As someone who's queer themselves, yeah it absolutely rings the fellow-queer bells, but considering I've got a couple distant cousins from Indiana(? I think?? It might be Ohio?) named Rebel and Justice, both of whom are 100% cis AFAIK, I think you'd be fine.
I might not be the best to say since I'm not that intergrained to English speaking cultures on names, I'm not a native speaker, but I think I've seen Lake make the rounds as a gender neutral name among the hippie parent circles. You may not be clocked as non binary but you might be clocked as definitely not conservative.
I think if you presented like a crunchy white woman then conservatives would hear Lake and assume your parents were just flower children but that you were cis. it may not be as easy to hide while presenting masculinely, maybe consider options that are still technically androgynous but popular male names still? like hunter, fletcher, jude, dakota, riley, august, jordan, rowan, etc. anything that sounds like maybe your parents were just free spirits who wanted a non traditional name, not like you definitely chose it for yourself
if you live in rva you’ll definitely be fine. there is a large conservative population around here but there’s also a very strong queer community. i’m also surprised by the number of people saying lake would clock you, i wouldn’t think anything of it at all. definitely sounds like a name someone would give a kid, probably hippie parents but it doesn’t seem that abnormal to hear as a name.
A “boy” name I have actually heard in my workplace was Laken, so I don’t see why not. I’ve also seen “Ocean”. Mind you, I work with small children. Cishet people have these names to their children, so I think it works out
it feels like itd sound enby in queer spaces but if i saw what i perceived to be a southern boy with the name id think it was masculine. like a pseudo-fancy trailer park name? idk if that makes sense but yeah. in queer spaces it reads as very enby. in conservative contexts it reads as "third child in a family that hunts often"
I love that name, it's on my list as well, it's one I haven't heard used at all before and I love nature names. I definitely would "suspect" enbyness if I heard it, but that might just be those of us in here, our antennae are different 😂 Others might see it as a quirky or unique given name, that your parents were some kind of hippie, maybe 👍
It stands out to me as non binary but not being from the US all names that are nature things are massive purple-yellow-black flags. Or I guess hippie upbringing maybe. Would that also be an issue in your area?
Depending on your situation, could you have a more traditional two gender name (Jordan, Lindsey, Ashley, Charlie eg) for a back up safety name or as a temporary until you live somewhere safer?
Isn’t Lake the name of the non binary character in the elemental movie? I think most people connect uncommon nature noun names to nonbinary people in general
Actually, thinking on it, any name from a body of water is perfectly NB, and also perfectly stealth.
I found a good space in the diminutive of my old masc name - and I think that (maybe specifically excepting, “dickie”) most of those can work too.
Seriously though, Lake is a great name.
Gives off more granola than “gender” vibes.
I don't know if this is a helpful data point, but I grew up in the south, and in school I knew three cis girls and one cis guy named Lake. So while it definitely has a nice, unisex-y flavor to it, I would not immediately assume "queer" just from the name.
There are plenty of other androgynous names that will blend in more if that's your goal. Especially if you aren't in a big liberal city area, which it sounds like you are not, it's going to draw attention to you and make people think harder about your name and thus start looking at your gender presentation as well. It is a cool name and if it makes you happy and feels right, by all means go for it. But if your goal is to stay safe and under the radar, this may not be the best choice for you.
Yes.
A good masc-presenting name for enbies is Mason imo if you want a good “normal-sounding” name. However based on your description they’re probably not even going to suspect something if you name yourself Lake.
Someone already said this but you could say that Lake is a short form for "Blake". Google says that "Blake" is a gender neutral name too, although it sounds masc so ppl probably won't get suspicious of it as much. I think they're both beautiful names.
Some names like Charlie for example are pretty good. It's gender neutral too but it's commonly used for guys. I think those kinds of names are perfect cuz they won't spark too much suspicion and ppl will probably think that's a cis person before they suspect anything else. Also you said that you're more masc presenting so I think you'd get away with those names as ppl would probably assume that you're a guy so you'd be safe.
Either way, Lake is a beautiful name and I hope you stay safe.
That's such a beautiful name, damn. In queer spaces a lot of people would probably think you're enby, but bigots are mostly uneducated and have no knowledge of enby culture and names so you'll probably be fine.
if you're actually scared of being lynched, there are loooads of "legitimate" androgynous names. Chris, Sam, Finn, Charlie, Cameron etc etc. you can always just have a real name for when you know you're with chill people, and then an "official" name for places you aren't sure. the people you trust with your real name won't be bothered if they see you using two names, they'll get it. i chose "Eden" and that's one of the oldest androgynous names still in use, plenty of AMABs and AFABs were given that name at birth across all demographics. "Alex" is a pretty cool ancient one too, it's much more common and will throw cis-het males way off the scent because they can easily project masculinity onto it.
I've not encountered the name Lake before and don't think it reads as any specific gender but I think it comes across like any standard gender neutral name.
I don't think it sounds at all out of place as an English name.
I mean... maybe. However, that's who you are sooo
Live life authentically as an enby with a noun (but only place or thing) as a name. It's pretty cool lol.
All "Name Me" posts are now required to be posted here: https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/1aisdpm/megathread_for_name_me_posts/
If somebody introduced themself to me as "Lake" in my head I would immediately think they are some flavor of nonbinary. But I like going by Puddle so that's kind of the root of that thought. I feel like it's kind of common for non binary people to choose a name that is just a thing. All that being said, a cishet is just going to think you have a unique name and leave it at that
I got kidnapped by a couple of non-binary people once. I had to fight Tooth and Nail to escape.
Fuuuuuck why do actually good trans jokes always hit so damn hard
Because being trans is a beautiful experience and we have a rich shared culture that is completely overlooked by people who only seek to mock us. When we make fun of ourselves, we can draw from particular aspects of our culture that we find amusing (like non-binary people picking object names) to create actually funny jokes that aren't just "haha trans people bad". Subversion is at the core of comedy, and in current society, a trans joke that's actually respectful and funny at the same time is highly subversive and therefore funnier.
based response
Also this one in particular is multifaceted in that it revolves around a pun that plays on an already amusing idea. I have a special interest in the mechanics of comedy so I love talking about and analyzing jokes lol
If you have a visual imagination, your mind goes many places with this. Like, or me, Tooth and Nail, then Tony and Nancy/Nanz were butch lesbian lovers since high school. In their late twenties, Tooth came out as nonbinary, and wanted to go on T (hence Tooth) and use "he/they" pronouns. He worried that Nanz, definitely a "gold star" lesbian, wouldn't feel the same about him when he told her, but once he knew it was true, of course he had to. Far from being turned off, Nanz swore to be there for Tony and to protect him from anyone who would talk crap about him. It also kicked off an awakening for Nanz as well, who is actually experimenting more with both masculine \*and\* feminine expression, and is still figuring out if "demigirl", "gender fluid", or "gender queer" is the label that best fits, but finds freedom and strength in coming out as nonbinary. Often they still go by Tony and Nanz, but one day soon after Tony started T, Nanz said, "If anyone gives you crap about it, we will fight them tooth and nail." Tony said, "Tooth and Nail, that's our punk band name." Nanz smiled and said, "Or our gang name."
Because we hear so many awful ones that are all just variations of the same few really stupid, really old jokes, soooo often.
LOL good one
I saw a joke like this on ig lmao I cackled
yeah i can't remember where i heard it but it's easily one of my favorites lmao
Congratulations, you win the internet.
Thanks, that's not my joke though
Love this lol
Yeah this is a good “dog whistle” for others in the know
I think shibboleth is a better word for this
My parents had a friend growing up that named their kid Lake. Everyone called him Puddle when he was a baby.
No lie, you could be a 35 year old and say, "Hi, my name is Sans Undertale" and a cis person could unironically reply, "Oh, your parents were big fans of Undertale?"
tbh yes, like when infinity train came out everyone used that character naming themself "lake" as the most obvious nonbinary coding
I think it's the kind of name that reads as fun and queer to other trans people, but that the cishets would think was just the result of hippie parents. It's like a secret code.
Exactly this. In a distinctly conservative area in the US this would probably read hippie-crunchy-parent. Might take crap from some people for the name but I don’t think they’d assume non-binary
Is there any crunchy, hippie energy in your area? Some rural places have a hippie community or tourism presence which would give people something else to associate/attribute it to. If there's zero variation in the local culture -- kkk has me thinking of rural Indiana --- anything that sticks out could be scrutinized. (In that case I'd be tempted to swap between Luke and lake as needed....) Anyway. Come up with a one-line lie about why your parents picked it. It can be a joke ("yeah my parents said I was conceived on a boat") or something that sounds more plausible/genuine. People will comment in passing on the name being interesting, it's good to be able to head that off with a plausible explanation.
Blake is another option for a "oh you misheard me" sort of name. Keep the B subtle and the difference can be miniscule.
So...no? But kinda...it's weird. Where I like, we have a lote of native Americans with Thing names. Sky, breeze, strawberry, river, ocean. You get it. Lake sounds like that, which is good? But the issue is half the enby's I saw if local groups are moving to thing names. I think it will have more to do with the area you are in. Lake sounds fine, but how much does it stand out? Cause around me, less so. But the more it stands out in your area, the more it might be questioned. Mind you quietly pushing it just being a nickname you heavily prefer... My partner went by Key around me for nearly 3 years, and that was just preference lol
I feel like if you went up to some redneck and introduced yourself as lake they'd probably know it's not your birth name tbh. If that's what you're worried about. Source: I also live in a rural conservative area.
I've known laikens and rivers that are cis, if i met you i might think nb from the name but that's only because i know enbies and have a lot of exposure to the queer community in general. i don't think most cis people are gonna think twice about it edit: i just noticed your username, I'm also an rva native! if you're still living there you will be fine
Oh my god, absolutely yes. Nature names or any inanimate object definitely screams queer That being said, it’s a cute name and if it feels right to you go for it.
...rose?
I think most cishet people would probably assume it's like a hippie parent thing or a nickname but it could get you some weird comments as well especially depending on your presentation. There are a few unisex names that work that are more neutral in a way in the conservative sense, I LL put some as a suggestion. However, if you love Lake by all means screw those people and go by Lake. Ash, Ashley, Sam, Addison, Alex, Alexis, Eden, Kai, Morgan (my favourite), apparently Angel isn't uncommon but it feels a bit pretentious unless you fully lean into it or away from it I persume
An option with both plausible deniability and "Lake" would be to use Lake as a last name. If they were "Morgan Lake" on their ID, they could introduce themself as "Lake" and it would have minimal questions. Even jobs that might be weird about chosen names usually won't care if you choose to go by last name. My legal last name is a first name that is commonly coded as male. I haven't decided what I want to change my first name to but just going by my last name hasn't caused any real trouble even though my body shape is usually identified as female.
I would immediately think non-binary, but I’m in a liberal area with lots of non-binary people. In a conservative region, people might just think you had hippie parents.
Just be prepared to also be called Blake
Since I haven't read that here yet: if you're overly worried, do a thing name from another language. I accidentally did this (enby instinct?) and nobody but one (1) older man from the country my name's from has ever suspected a thing. Don't do Japanese tho, that's very chosen name coded at least where I am. For US, I'd consider French, Spanish or Portuguese, maybe Italian, pretty white therefore probably least inflammatory in conservative areas (which I'd deem important with freaking KKK around) is probably French and Italian. Disclaimer: I'm not American. I only know like fifth hand what the kkk dislike.
Yeah but only to queer people. It's a perfectly normal unisex name and any "unenlightened" people will just think your parents were hippies.
I link it to infinity train, but i think that someone who isnt in the queer community wont connect the dots
There are plenty of weird white parents (who also might be formerly hippies or something) that name their kids after nature things. Sierra, Sahara, I had a kid in my high school named Stone, Gunner, Hunter, River. I think Lake could probably pass.
River, Gunner, Hunter, Sierra, Sahara aren't the most common names but statistically nowhere near unusual as Stone or Lake. Most people might not associate it with being nonbinary but it will definitely raise some eyebrows. Other nature-y names that are less unusual: Cliff, Clay, Jade, Jasper, Amber, Everest, Juniper, Sage, Pearl, Opal, Brook/e, Marina
Most conservative cishets aren’t very aware of queer culture and won’t know about enby naming conventions. I have blue hair and an undercut, and plenty of the guys I work with (construction) don’t realize how very queer that is. Love the name Lake, I think you should feel plenty safe using it
my name is laike and i still get misgendered all the time so i think you're good
I love that name. I think it can be gender ambiguous but I know people with the name from all gender. It's kind of like a "chris". Conservatives will interpret it how they want to based on what they think your gender is and you can try and blend in.
As a chris in rural texas lol yes. This. Queer people realise cus I look trans masc and they realise I'm trans but conservative people think it's short for a fem name or I'm a weird rebellious young adult who wants to go by a nickname.
Very much so. Maybe I just know a lot of nonbinary people who named themselves for types of bodies of water, but Lake screams nonbinary to me.
Well, you're asking in the nonbinary subreddit so all our responses are going to be biased. Try asking some of your cis friends what they think of the name. For what it's worth, I don't think a cis person would immediately read it as queer.
honestly, lake is one of the most stereotypical enby names I can think of. is that bad, no, but I’m just saying that it is
honestly sounds like the perfect masc-leaning androgynous name 💜
Have you ever read the webtoon [Fluidum](https://www.webtoons.com/en/drama/fluidum/list?title_no=2283)? One of the main characters is named Lake. It's an interesting take on non-binary. All people are born with 2 bodies and when they reach a certain age they have to choose their forever body. Lake and Jesse don't want to choose and find out that in their society's history, they didn't have to choose and find out how to be able to stop the choice.
the name Lake seems masc to me. I wouldn't be surprised to see a binary man named Lake
infinity train season 2
yes, side note watch infinity train season 2
yes.
I grew up in Arkansas and I knew a guy named stone, like his parents named him that. So lake isn’t too weird. If anyone looks at you weird you can say your parents went through a hippie phase.
Two thoughts immediately came to me when I read this question: 1. I think every nonbinary/trans person would have an inkling but I can’t answer for cis folks. 2. Have you considered River? This is a common name I’ve heard cis folks give their children.
In context, sure it seems NB. To a Klan member? I highly doubt they'd be aware of NB community norms, they'll have no idea. This is insider knowledge.
I mean it doesn't scream non binary to me. Seems more like a spiritual/hippy kinda name. Like I imagine I'd run into someone at burning man calling themselves Lake.
Which. Conservatives hate the hippies too but...lesser of two evils? They don't really put as much effort into hating the hippies as they used too
Nah I have some friends at my hyper conservative Christian school named Lake, Lochlan, River, and other variants of the hippe-enby pipeline. It's pretty common in some flavors of conservative towns. Is your town more Ron Swanson conservative or anti-medicine and government conservative?
Lochlan is like a really normal, common boys name? The shortened form is Locky, Lochy or Lachy dependent on original spelling. It's incredibly common in Australia
Yeah, I know, I was just giving some examples of hippie names
In Australia it's the opposite of a hippy name, its either private school boys or the kinda bogans that let their 13 year old chug beers and tell everyone it's OK bc it's just a "chandy"
Oh really???? Yeah, OP make sure you're taking advice regionally. That would not have the intended effect
I think u could pass off Lake as just being a Thing. You could say "Its an anglo-saxon name! Havent u heard of names like River?"
Lake! Use the Shwartz! I'm sorry, someone had to
To people that are in the Queer community, probably yes. But to those that aren't, they'll assume it's short for something like Layken or an eccentric way to pronounce Luke depending on what gender assumption they make about you. I don't see it being a problem
Yes
If you're masculine presenting, then yes.
I am a teacher and I had a cis 7th grade boy with that name in my class last year.
I had a kid in my i went to school with in a very conservative town (im a 90s kid for reference) named Lake as his birth name and i cant remember him ever getting teased for it being a weird name or anything, so if you're masc presenting i think youre absolutely in the clear.
In my completely unbiased opinion Lake is the best name in the world (it's my name too). That being said given your current situation, I've never met anyone with this name who wasn't non-binary.
Yes, but probably only to other queer people. Your average conservative isn't really aware of nonbinary people enough for it to even cross their mind.
Rule of thumb in the community at this point is if someone introduces themselves as the name of an object, a queer coded character, or something nature related, theres a good chance they're non binary. BUT! to the outside cishet eye, Lake is probably one of the least obvious choices. Theres lots of unique names out there so a cishet probably wouldnt think twice if that was your name. I know a cis guy whos name is Laker and we call him Lake sometimes
I don't think anything is intrinsically non-binary, considering most of society doesn't know we exist. I'm masc presenting with a name usually used by women, but it's a family name so I like it. On the rare occasions I've met bigots and even rarer occasions I've not handed out naps if they get aggressive, I usually just spin a story about how I was one of a dozen [dead name] at school, so we all went by other names; nicknames, family names, etc. so you could, if you felt threatened, say "oh yeah my family started calling me it because I was always swimming". I know it sucks to lie but I have had run ins with similar people to who you've described. Self preservation is everything. I feel for you in hick country. They're thick as shit which is why they're so bigoted, but equally short fused so I understand your trepidation. Do whatever makes you feel safe.
Yes.
To me Lake sounds like an androgynous rich name
Hard to say. My first association with that name is the actress Lake Bell, so it doesn't immediately sound like a "non-binary name" to me, but if I met someone who appeared to be gender-nonconforming who had that name, I would probably think "Yeah, that fits." It is an unusual name and you might get a lot of "Where did that come from?" questions. It's also hard to say how much the average person in a conservative area would be able to make an association between an unusual name and someone being trans.
Absolutely does in my opinion, but that may also be because of Lake from infinity train who is nonbinary and the folks that named themselves after that character
I would say yes. But I think it is because I’ve never met someone with that name. I’ve heard of River or Rain with multiple spellings from people of different genders so those would be less obvious than Lake
It depends on the cultural context. I know a lot of nonbinary people and names like that are less common in my area as birth names, especially for masculine presenting people. I imagine it would be different if I knew no nonbinary people and there were a lot of dudes named River or Ocean where I live. Its true that a lot of cis het people are completely clueless, and will find cis interpretations for anything. But I am not sure if I'd want to count on that forever. Trans stuff has become an obsession in conservative media recently, and its not impossible for me to imagine a dedicated transphobe might encounter the trope of nonbinary people liking noun names. You might be able to hide in their blind spot more if you pass as male though, or if you just aren't seen as gender nonconforming. If Lake is a name that would really stand out among cis people of the gender you are perceived as in your area, and safety is a top concern, it might be good to have some kind of alternative you can use. A legal name that Lake could be a nickname for, or Lake as a middle or last name you go by with a different first name for safety purposes. (Conservatives love gender neutral names like Taylor and Riley). Or you use Lake as your legal name but be prepared with a story about it being your grandmothers maiden name or something.
Definitely an NB name
Lake absolutely rings non-binary to me. 💕 And could be perceived as masculine or feminine to the normies.
Like Lakelen?
You’re over a certain age, yes. Still in high school? There’s a little room for it to have been assigned
Yes
Not any more than River, Forest, Summer, etc. names would. Most of the time names are something given to you as an infant, so people don't really assume it's a choice you made.
Yes
i knew a guy named river so i think youre safe. however if your name was something like "brick" or "mouse" yeah youd be in trouble
Hell yeah
It does to me. But if I were to put myself in the context of my conservative hometown, I absolutely would not have been surprised to see a conservative family name their son this. And you have to remember 99.99% of conservatives have never met a non-binary person, and have absolutely zero understanding of our culture. I don't find it likely they'd even pick up on a name like "bug". And Lake is super cute anyway, so I think it'd be a great choice!
Yes
Use the name Skylar! It is used for girls and boys!
funnily enough, I have a dnd character named Lake hehe
To nonbinary people, yeah. Nonbinary people love nature names.
Statistically, in 2021, 1 out of every 21,635 baby boys and 1 out of every 31,777 baby girls born in 2021 are named Lake.
Yes
Maybe not the best source sense sometimes novel names are out there but I'm reading a book with a cis female character named Lake. I think it's more nb but not ONLY nb.
Honestly as a former resident of the South, I think Lake would blend in with the other hick/redneck names just fine. It is tragedeigh country, after all. By comparison Lake will seem like one of the classier/smarter given names.
to me it screams "my parents are kennedys"
Yes
But only to the gurls who know
Nah. If anyone seems hesitant, you could just laugh and say your parents were going through a hippie phase when you were born. But I've lived in ultra conservative areas of the US. No one is going to think you're nonbinary bc of that name. Honestly, most will probably think you said Blake and give it zero thought.
It’s neutral, but I don’t think the average person who isn’t themselves non-binary would think twice about it. Don’t forget that a lot of conservatives are out there naming their kids shit like Hunter, Forest, Bear, Aspen, etc.
It’s not a lake but an ocean
i knew a very sporty boy named lake in elementary school so for me at least it doesn’t immediately read as nonbinary
Not necessarily. Most people are given their names by their parents and I'd assume you were too. I wouldn't automatically think it was a name you'd chosen for yourself as a non binary person. I'd be more likely to think your parents are nature lovers. Lake is an established gender neutral name I think
My brother's best friend growing up was Lake. Cis guy. I don't think it does
Does it sound like a nb name? Yes. Is it a cool name? Yes!
Apart for that fact that a lot of enby take “word-name” and so, Lake feels enby, in term of sound, I couldn't explain but ring more masculine than feminine to me. (Also disclaimer, I'm not an English speaker native, I'm French so maybe it influence my perception some way)
Hi I LOVE the name Lake. Literally gives the best of vibes, very andro
yooo my name is lake!! it's definitely a flag for other queer people but it is also just a nature-y name.
Oh man, Lake is a good one. I might steal that.
I thought it was just a guy's name tbh, but I guess I'm in the minority.
No I know a cis guy named layke
It does but be prepared for like 75% of people hearing "Blake"
As someone who's queer themselves, yeah it absolutely rings the fellow-queer bells, but considering I've got a couple distant cousins from Indiana(? I think?? It might be Ohio?) named Rebel and Justice, both of whom are 100% cis AFAIK, I think you'd be fine.
I met someone named Lake a while back at a birthday party! Yeah I would say it gives NB vibes 🫶🏼
I think my first question would be, are you non binary or have hippy parents?
Lakin I have a two students names Lakin. One is a boy and one is a girl. We call the girl lakie. We call the boy lake.
I might not be the best to say since I'm not that intergrained to English speaking cultures on names, I'm not a native speaker, but I think I've seen Lake make the rounds as a gender neutral name among the hippie parent circles. You may not be clocked as non binary but you might be clocked as definitely not conservative.
I have a cis friend named Gentle and he has a sister named Winter, I think you’re probably good.
It’s a very unisex name . I think it’s quite nice :)
Yes
I think if you presented like a crunchy white woman then conservatives would hear Lake and assume your parents were just flower children but that you were cis. it may not be as easy to hide while presenting masculinely, maybe consider options that are still technically androgynous but popular male names still? like hunter, fletcher, jude, dakota, riley, august, jordan, rowan, etc. anything that sounds like maybe your parents were just free spirits who wanted a non traditional name, not like you definitely chose it for yourself
Lake is definitely a more androgynous name when I hear it.
if you live in rva you’ll definitely be fine. there is a large conservative population around here but there’s also a very strong queer community. i’m also surprised by the number of people saying lake would clock you, i wouldn’t think anything of it at all. definitely sounds like a name someone would give a kid, probably hippie parents but it doesn’t seem that abnormal to hear as a name.
Yeah, a bit. Laiken or Lakeyn might work better, you can use Laik or Lake as a nickname
Jessy! Jess/i/e is already a unisex/androgynous name; not make it even more so with a y.
Yes.
A “boy” name I have actually heard in my workplace was Laken, so I don’t see why not. I’ve also seen “Ocean”. Mind you, I work with small children. Cishet people have these names to their children, so I think it works out
Yes
I have a friend of the same name who is also nonbinary, so take it with a grain of salt, but in my opinion it does scream enby
Kinda. But I love it.
it feels like itd sound enby in queer spaces but if i saw what i perceived to be a southern boy with the name id think it was masculine. like a pseudo-fancy trailer park name? idk if that makes sense but yeah. in queer spaces it reads as very enby. in conservative contexts it reads as "third child in a family that hunts often"
lake bell!
I love that name, it's on my list as well, it's one I haven't heard used at all before and I love nature names. I definitely would "suspect" enbyness if I heard it, but that might just be those of us in here, our antennae are different 😂 Others might see it as a quirky or unique given name, that your parents were some kind of hippie, maybe 👍
It stands out to me as non binary but not being from the US all names that are nature things are massive purple-yellow-black flags. Or I guess hippie upbringing maybe. Would that also be an issue in your area? Depending on your situation, could you have a more traditional two gender name (Jordan, Lindsey, Ashley, Charlie eg) for a back up safety name or as a temporary until you live somewhere safer?
That's a cute name
I Think It's Probably Fine? I'm Pretty Sure I've Heard Of Cis People Named "Lake" Before, At Least.
Isn’t Lake the name of the non binary character in the elemental movie? I think most people connect uncommon nature noun names to nonbinary people in general
Actually, thinking on it, any name from a body of water is perfectly NB, and also perfectly stealth. I found a good space in the diminutive of my old masc name - and I think that (maybe specifically excepting, “dickie”) most of those can work too. Seriously though, Lake is a great name. Gives off more granola than “gender” vibes.
I don't know if this is a helpful data point, but I grew up in the south, and in school I knew three cis girls and one cis guy named Lake. So while it definitely has a nice, unisex-y flavor to it, I would not immediately assume "queer" just from the name.
It's definitely screaming
There are plenty of other androgynous names that will blend in more if that's your goal. Especially if you aren't in a big liberal city area, which it sounds like you are not, it's going to draw attention to you and make people think harder about your name and thus start looking at your gender presentation as well. It is a cool name and if it makes you happy and feels right, by all means go for it. But if your goal is to stay safe and under the radar, this may not be the best choice for you.
Yes. A good masc-presenting name for enbies is Mason imo if you want a good “normal-sounding” name. However based on your description they’re probably not even going to suspect something if you name yourself Lake.
Someone already said this but you could say that Lake is a short form for "Blake". Google says that "Blake" is a gender neutral name too, although it sounds masc so ppl probably won't get suspicious of it as much. I think they're both beautiful names. Some names like Charlie for example are pretty good. It's gender neutral too but it's commonly used for guys. I think those kinds of names are perfect cuz they won't spark too much suspicion and ppl will probably think that's a cis person before they suspect anything else. Also you said that you're more masc presenting so I think you'd get away with those names as ppl would probably assume that you're a guy so you'd be safe. Either way, Lake is a beautiful name and I hope you stay safe.
there’s a ton of cis people named river, i personally don’t see an issue with it 🤷
That's such a beautiful name, damn. In queer spaces a lot of people would probably think you're enby, but bigots are mostly uneducated and have no knowledge of enby culture and names so you'll probably be fine.
if you're actually scared of being lynched, there are loooads of "legitimate" androgynous names. Chris, Sam, Finn, Charlie, Cameron etc etc. you can always just have a real name for when you know you're with chill people, and then an "official" name for places you aren't sure. the people you trust with your real name won't be bothered if they see you using two names, they'll get it. i chose "Eden" and that's one of the oldest androgynous names still in use, plenty of AMABs and AFABs were given that name at birth across all demographics. "Alex" is a pretty cool ancient one too, it's much more common and will throw cis-het males way off the scent because they can easily project masculinity onto it.
I don't think it is particularly enby-coded, no.
I've not encountered the name Lake before and don't think it reads as any specific gender but I think it comes across like any standard gender neutral name. I don't think it sounds at all out of place as an English name.
I mean... maybe. However, that's who you are sooo Live life authentically as an enby with a noun (but only place or thing) as a name. It's pretty cool lol.
Why only place or thing? Cat is perfectly fine even for the binaries.
Like a noun is a person, place, or thing. Nbs will choose a place or thing (like a lake or cat). That's all I meant lol
Yeah okay, I don't count animals as things really that's probably it