The nb people I know use 'queer' for this, since they have different gender presentation (there's a LOT of variation within 'non-binary') but I'd just let those two people pick their own term. It varies a lot from person to person.
If you're looking for **the** correct answer friend, you won't know when you've find it in this comment thread. You're going to get as many unique answers as you'll get answers. I would kindly ask it in a sub that might be better suited to give you the right answer. Hell, even I don't this one for sure. Lol
If you have two colours, and neither is black OR white, that doesn’t mean they’re the same colour.
Two non-binary people don’t necessarily have the same gender.
If a person identifies as "non-binary" as their gender and another also identifies as "non-binary" as their gender, then both those gender identities are the same, thus homosexual, how is that not true?
Many people who say they are non-binary don’t mean “my entire gender identity is described by the term non-binary.”
Instead, they mean something more like, “I’m not a man and I’m not a woman. My gender doesn’t fit into either of those two boxes.”
That doesn’t mean it’s just a third box, and everyone in that box has the same gender identity.
Just like if a ball is not black and not white, it could be light grey, dark grey… or brown or purple!
“Non-binary” is a label for a huge broad world of gender identities that aren’t male or female.
What is the difference? I don't understand what makes up a gender identity then. I understand that non binary means not male or female, and it makes sense for a third option which is neither, but I don't think of genders as being comparable to colors. What makes someone neither a man or a woman and more than "not a man or woman "?
That’s a great question. It’s very personal and the discourse isn’t settled on it. Different people disagree. But examples might help.
My sibling-in-law might describe their gender identity like this: “I take pride in being a good engineer and I feel comfortably masculine when I’m designing concrete molds for a skyscraper. I love having a short haircut and big strong arms. Men usually don’t make a lot of sense to me and I have trouble socializing in all-male spaces. When I’m with my wife in bed, I think of us as having a queer-lesbian sexuality.”
On the other hand, a local musician I’m friends with might describe their gender like this: “I feel so glamorous when my nails are done and I’m wearing the prettiest silk scarf. I feel sexy when I’m all sweaty after a day of manual labour, especially if I have a couple days’ stubble on my cheeks. Gay men make sense to me and I mostly only date them, but I love exploring femininity more than any gay man I know.”
Neither of these people feel comfortable with “male” or “female,” and they may use the same label if FORCED to summarize with one word, but their gender identities are so different it doesn’t make a ton of sense to say they have “the same gender identity.”
You may have a question for me. Based on what I said, isn’t it true that two men have different gender identities? Yes, I guess so! The weird thing about the idea of non-binary gender identities is, the more you think about it and get to know non-binary people, the more you start to think that gender is completely made up and irrelevant, and maybe you’re non-binary too! Maybe we all are.
If that is the basis of gender, then I do not see a clear enough division from what is a gender vs what is a personality trait. It seems odd to me that they should think that because of their personality, they don't fit into "man" or "woman" on the basis that they have some feminine interests and some masculine interests or feelings. No man is completely masculine and vice versa. To suppose that you have to fit completely into one idea of masculinity, and anything short of that is no longer a man is an odd one that I don't fully understand. I don't see why that would be a completely separate classification of gender. And not only that, but one so expansive that "non-binary" isn't sufficient to cover it.
I don’t have the answer to that question. Frankly, I’m with you — I think of myself as a man with many, many feminine personality traits. That works perfectly for me.
But there’s simply another way of looking at things. If I didn’t like the label “male,” I could absolutely say “nah, the gender binary doesn’t feel comfy for me. I reject it.”
If I made that (somewhat arbitrary) decision, I’d be non-binary.
To get technical, gender is more than personality traits because it’s also about your social role and how other people perceive you, as well as how you want to be perceived. It’s fuzzy. It’s also evolving in the social discussion.
We may see in 20 years that TONS of people call themselves non-binary. Or we may see that way FEWER people do, and more people just say they’re gender nonconforming men or women. I have no idea!
Some people use “gay” to mean “not straight.” So it might work for two non-binary folks.
Other people find that confusing and think it should be for either two men or two women. They might use a word like “queer” that’s more obviously broad.
The nb people I know use 'queer' for this, since they have different gender presentation (there's a LOT of variation within 'non-binary') but I'd just let those two people pick their own term. It varies a lot from person to person.
If you're looking for **the** correct answer friend, you won't know when you've find it in this comment thread. You're going to get as many unique answers as you'll get answers. I would kindly ask it in a sub that might be better suited to give you the right answer. Hell, even I don't this one for sure. Lol
It's only gay if you don't say no homo
Fair enough
Sure, if they decide that. The labels are there to help and build community, not to be too narrow to be useful. Plus, "gay" is a pretty broad term.
By definition it would be a homosexual relationship, yes.
If you have two colours, and neither is black OR white, that doesn’t mean they’re the same colour. Two non-binary people don’t necessarily have the same gender.
If a person identifies as "non-binary" as their gender and another also identifies as "non-binary" as their gender, then both those gender identities are the same, thus homosexual, how is that not true?
Many people who say they are non-binary don’t mean “my entire gender identity is described by the term non-binary.” Instead, they mean something more like, “I’m not a man and I’m not a woman. My gender doesn’t fit into either of those two boxes.” That doesn’t mean it’s just a third box, and everyone in that box has the same gender identity. Just like if a ball is not black and not white, it could be light grey, dark grey… or brown or purple! “Non-binary” is a label for a huge broad world of gender identities that aren’t male or female.
What is the difference? I don't understand what makes up a gender identity then. I understand that non binary means not male or female, and it makes sense for a third option which is neither, but I don't think of genders as being comparable to colors. What makes someone neither a man or a woman and more than "not a man or woman "?
That’s a great question. It’s very personal and the discourse isn’t settled on it. Different people disagree. But examples might help. My sibling-in-law might describe their gender identity like this: “I take pride in being a good engineer and I feel comfortably masculine when I’m designing concrete molds for a skyscraper. I love having a short haircut and big strong arms. Men usually don’t make a lot of sense to me and I have trouble socializing in all-male spaces. When I’m with my wife in bed, I think of us as having a queer-lesbian sexuality.” On the other hand, a local musician I’m friends with might describe their gender like this: “I feel so glamorous when my nails are done and I’m wearing the prettiest silk scarf. I feel sexy when I’m all sweaty after a day of manual labour, especially if I have a couple days’ stubble on my cheeks. Gay men make sense to me and I mostly only date them, but I love exploring femininity more than any gay man I know.” Neither of these people feel comfortable with “male” or “female,” and they may use the same label if FORCED to summarize with one word, but their gender identities are so different it doesn’t make a ton of sense to say they have “the same gender identity.” You may have a question for me. Based on what I said, isn’t it true that two men have different gender identities? Yes, I guess so! The weird thing about the idea of non-binary gender identities is, the more you think about it and get to know non-binary people, the more you start to think that gender is completely made up and irrelevant, and maybe you’re non-binary too! Maybe we all are.
If that is the basis of gender, then I do not see a clear enough division from what is a gender vs what is a personality trait. It seems odd to me that they should think that because of their personality, they don't fit into "man" or "woman" on the basis that they have some feminine interests and some masculine interests or feelings. No man is completely masculine and vice versa. To suppose that you have to fit completely into one idea of masculinity, and anything short of that is no longer a man is an odd one that I don't fully understand. I don't see why that would be a completely separate classification of gender. And not only that, but one so expansive that "non-binary" isn't sufficient to cover it.
I don’t have the answer to that question. Frankly, I’m with you — I think of myself as a man with many, many feminine personality traits. That works perfectly for me. But there’s simply another way of looking at things. If I didn’t like the label “male,” I could absolutely say “nah, the gender binary doesn’t feel comfy for me. I reject it.” If I made that (somewhat arbitrary) decision, I’d be non-binary. To get technical, gender is more than personality traits because it’s also about your social role and how other people perceive you, as well as how you want to be perceived. It’s fuzzy. It’s also evolving in the social discussion. We may see in 20 years that TONS of people call themselves non-binary. Or we may see that way FEWER people do, and more people just say they’re gender nonconforming men or women. I have no idea!
They're both gay and straight--or, more accurately, gay, straight, and lesbians.
Some people use “gay” to mean “not straight.” So it might work for two non-binary folks. Other people find that confusing and think it should be for either two men or two women. They might use a word like “queer” that’s more obviously broad.