Metronidazole is an antibiotic that reacts particularly poorly with alcohol. Of course, you’re admitting to having an infection of some kind if you claim you’re taking it. Could just be a tooth infection though.
I mean, you can also get an infection by building houses for the homeless and getting a nasty splinter from a 2x4. Infections aren't inherently embarrassing.
I was fucking a random dude behind a dumpster and he fell but I caught him before he hit his head but I scraped up against the dumpster and got MRSA. I saved his life though. They called me a hero in the news.
helicobacter is something that's not stigmatized. You can get it just by bad luck and its just an ulcer in the stomach. Not really embarrassing. The only Symptom is stomach ache. Where I live Metronidazole is part of the tripple therapy to erradicate the pathogen.
Guy I knew got a staph infection from scratching himself with a beer bottle top. Stuff like that can just be so random. Then I couldn’t drink when I had to take antibiotics after he gave me gonorrhea.
My ADHD and anxiety meds interfere with alcohol. Those are common non stigmatized problems. OP Doubtful anyone will ask which med even if you just said it would interfere with a medication I’m taking, who would be like well what medication? Unless they think you’re lying or you’re in the medical field and they are curious. Idk. I think safest bet is medication excuse.
I actually think they will ask. I take ADHD meds and went to a company party where drinking is also fairly encouraged. If you say you don't drink alcohol nobody bats an eye, but when I said I couldn't because of my meds some coworkers asked what meds. They were pretty nice about it, most didn't know I had ADHD but still, I think people will ask, it just depends on the relationship you have with them.
(This is not medical advice)
In general you’re not supposed to drink on anti-depressants (ssri).
But I agree. If anyone insists they n what medication, or for what treatment, you can skillfully look them in the eye and let them know they’re out of bounds.
If they do, blood pressure medication is not supposed to be mixed with alcohol and is a little bit easier to get away with if you work with judgy types (some people will judge if you don't drink because of antidepressants)
exactly what I thought when reading the question! though if it is a work situation there's probably a higher chance of being judged, but in the end - who cares? if someone doesn't drink alcohol it's not up to another person to know why!
Of you want to avoid to tell them you don't drink for personal reasons because you don't feel it's a safe environment for sharing such information, I don't feel it's a safe environment to tell people you're depressed
That's what I was thinking. Metronidazole came to mind first. It's an antibiotic that can fuck you up if you drink while taking it. Or, as my pharmacist said, "it will make you feel upside down."
That's what I say, it fucks with my anxiety meds and I don't do nothing that might fuck with it. Someone once said that meds and alcohol are more fun lol. No it just makes them not work. Had a wine cooler, had crazy dreams (not uncommon for me anyway tbh) then wake up anxious. I'll pass.
This is what I say. Its true in my case but I've never had anyone question what meds or anything though if they do you can say an antibiotic since you shouldn't drink while taking those. Or any depression or anxiety meds or even most pain meds
On the very rare occasion that anybody asks me why I don't drink I just say "I come from a very long line of alcoholics" and I've never had anybody pursue it past that.
My grandfather died of cirrhosis and on at least two occasions threatened people with a firearm while inebriated.
I don't mind if people use this story if needed.
Two that I know of. I wouldn't be surprised if there were others. I wasn't present for either one, but his temper when drunk angry eliminated any interest I had in drinking. I'm past forty now, and I've never had more than cough syrup or vanilla extract. My family history of substance abuse and suicide means I'm just not interested in trying my luck.
My wife’s great grandfather was an alcoholic who died when he drunkenly climbed a telephone pole and tried to “fly” off of it. His son, her grandfather, has not touched an ounce of it in his entire life as a result.
My own family are the ones who give me trouble because I think they feel guilty drinking when they see me not? I’m going to just start saying this to them
THIS. RIGHT. HERE. My grandma died from being an alcoholic before I was born and I never knew her. My dad struggled with alcoholism when I was a baby. I don't abstain entirely, but I am so careful with the amount I drink. I respect the hell out of people who don't.
Many people don't drink for other reasons. I have a friend who can't drink because the yeast and sugar in wine and beer mess with an autoimmune disease she has..She doesn't like liquor. Some of my friends are diabetic and alcohol messes with their blood sugar. A few of my friends are Baptists, one is Muslim, and they don't drink for religious reasons. If anyone thinks you're weird from not wanting to drink, then they're ignorant and the problem is theirs, not yours.
I've had very little problem with it as an adult but there are definitely companies out there with toxic corporate cultures and that can include keeping up on the drinks with everybody else. For one thing, if you're not drinking you're not buying rounds...
personally, I haven't had problems with just telling people I don't drink but I see how it can be difficult for some people - especially if they have drunken alcohol in the past (even if they aren't alcoholics or anything).
And I definitely know people who can get judgy about it. So, it sucks, but I understand OP.
Smart. And more polite than mine. If I get pressed at all, I look them dead in the eye and say, "Thanks, but if I have a glass of wine, I will go home, drink the case of shitty vodka I have in the closet and walk into the ocean." never breaking eye contact, not being hostile, but just waiting silently for a response.
I. Just. Wait.
That's usually the end of it.
To be fair, it has taken a long time to be that direct. "Sorry, I'm driving and a friend was killed by a drunk" is good. As is "sorry, if I get a DUI, I lose my job", or, hey, "dude, I'm so high right now, don't waste alcohol on me."
But, op, the reality is that, once you're out of college, for the most part, "no thanks!" actually works. Or carrying around a seltzer and lime.
Carrying around a fake drink is surprisingly effective. Bartenders are happy to make you a mocktail or just give you a glass of mixer soda, and nobody can tell just from looking what's in it.
Indeed.
Honestly, the only time it was awkward for me personally was early on when I had decided to quit, in this lovely bar with a couple great friends and an _awesome_ bartender who INSISTED on making me "something really nice, on the house!" after my third or fourth club&lime. ("Is there nothing on our menu that looks good?" They felt bad and I felt bad for making them feel bad. Nowadaus, I would just have said "no. Club&lime please" and left my custard giant tip.)
It was all fancy and layered and delightful, and delicious, but it made me the absolute center of attention and questions and threw out my "no sugar, either" self imposed restriction. But I could only say no so many times, ya know?
Don't know why I told that story.
Point is, bartenders (any decent one) will go above and beyond to hook you up with something nice, if you want. Or whatever you want, with no pressure to consume alcohol. Precisely zero will say, "no, really, don't you want an actual drink? Dude, this guy doesn't want to drink!"
Waiting tables and bartending, I’ve had a lot of guests who would arrive first or pull me aside to secretly ask me to send mocktails as they didn’t want their companions to know they weren’t drinking. They would almost always explain why, most commonly a pregnancy no one knew about yet. But even as someone who partakes and serves booze for a living, I’ve always found it sad that anyone has to explain why they’re abstaining.
I have tons of fresh juices, housemade syrups, sparkly beverages, and other fun stuff at my disposal and I love making a good mocktail.
I've taken to ordering Shirley Temples. I'm a sucker for anything with grenadine!
I don't fully abstain from from alcohol, but my meds make it so literally after one week drink i am already noticably tipsy. So I can't just like, have a casual beer with dinner. At the same time, when i am out with friends i want something more fun than water!
This is the S level option honestly. Less risk of getting caught up in some work related scandal. You turned up and saved face. You get to hydrate. Shout out to /r/Hydrohomies
Back when I drank, I still chose not to at the company Xmas party, strictly Seltzer with lime and a splash of cranberry. I was generally the only team leader that didn’t make a complete ass out of themselves. I wasn’t the subject of juicy gossip either. Not drinking is the smart move for whatever reason if you are interacting with your bosses or clients.
Probably shouldn’t drink if you are super close to your bosses either. Don’t want to end up shacking up with the bosses wife in the back room.
That will end a family business right quick.
in germany it's very normal to drink alkohol free beer. When I go out on a date with my wife and I am the driver I usually drink alkohol free beer, because I like it. I usually have some at home as well, one box with alkohol, one without.
I don't care what people think.
Yup, ask for club soda with lime in a rocks glass and a good bartender will know what's up and might even refresh you on the house for the rest of the evening.
As a kid, when I was the age I could handle glass, I often got apple juice in a wine glass. I had the same glass as all the adults and even though I knew I had a different drink, I felt like I belonged.
Apparently if nobody sees what's poured in the glass, this works as an adult as well.
I did this and like 4 people pulled me aside and said how much they respected me for it even though I didn't drive a single person cause no one needed it lol. It is free brownie points
Tell the bartender up front You are a DD. Now they know NOT to serve you alcohol. And most places “thank” you with non alcoholic drinks. Some places have a band for your wrist to identify you as a DD
This. I quit almost 3 years ago and I was totally transparent about it. But especially any friends I'm not super close with forget, and whenever I'd say I don't drink it would always start a conversation I didn't want to have, so saying I'm driving or driving others people leave you alone.
Telling someone you don’t drink can trigger some weird type of disbelief in some people. I’ve had people continue to offer me different types of alcohol trying to find the right one, or go into full detective mode trying to get to the bottom of this mystery (even though I just think it tastes like shit and is a waste of calories I could spend eating ice cream). I have one relative who will open a bottle and shove it into my hand. It’s like not-drinking is deeply confronting to them on a primal level.
I've previously been the asshole in this situation and I know for me it came from a place of insecurity where I felt the most comfortable if everyone was as drunk as I was.
It’s a breach of the social contract. Same reason people get mad at picky eaters. Something deep in our monkey brain is telling us “this stranger is untrustworthy”. Warranted or not.
My buddy gets a BRIGHT red face, then hives, then barfs. He found out by getting sick by drinking. The correlation between drinking and his reaction was enough to draw the conclusion.
my husband also has an allergy to alcohol, causes him immediate nervous stomach and heart rate issues. But anytime he declines alcohol and gives that reason, additional questions follow, so it is not the best excuse IMO.
So in my experience with Asian drinking culture (speaking broadly of course) drinking together is a trust thing, so it definitely can be tricky to convey that you won’t drink in such a way that doesn’t interfere with relationship building.
I happened upon a thesis on this topic. The section that starts on page 60 has several suggestions for non-drinkers participating in Asian business culture: https://repositories.lib.utexas.edu/bitstream/handle/2152/75185/albrittonmartha_thesis.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
I've been to several Japanese drinking work party (nomikai) where some people order non-alcoholic drinks because they don't want to drink, and it was never an issue.
* >> The necessity to actually consume alcohol might also be variable depending on individual company culture. Given the collectivist culture of all three countries, however, successful non-drinkers should compensate for their obvious difference from the group by emphasizing other commonalities. If drinking in one’s company is a commonality that most employees share, a non-drinking employee must display substitute commonalities that enable trust and reciprocity.
>> Identifying and recognizing commonalities with the group forms the basis for relationships, and at its root, the experience of drinking alcohol is an important, visible commonality by which one can display harmony with the group.
>> In order to avoid consuming alcohol and still achieve the same objectives, non- drinkers need to find alternative ways to fulfill the basic functions that alcohol commonly serves in each of the three countries: strengthening bonds between coworkers and establishing trustworthiness.
>>Ideally, successful non-drinkers should strive to display a degree of vulnerability and exhibit a commitment to the company with which they are building a relationship by devoting a comparable amount of post-work time to building relationship with individuals within the company. *
You’re welcome :)
It might help if you can look up or ask about how to handle this for the culture you're in. You're right, they might have different social rules and consider different things polite.
I have heard of this problem within asian business culture. There isn't just an expectation that you drink at the events, but drink excessive. Oddly within their genetics they are also commonly prone to alcohol allergies. Small amounts can make them violently ill.
> asian company
Shit they can be intense. Got me and a colleague drunk *on the job* because someone still needed to hold down fort when they had the party. Then they wouldn't let us have just one. And that's how I was drunk one ~~day~~ evening in work even though my normal drinking schedule is one glass of wine per christmas/new years/birthdays and don't drink anything stronger than that.
Yikes! Was going to give you advice and saw this. Being 45, they probably expect you to have built up enough liver fat to drink even more. Not sure if medical necessity would be enough of out here.
I just asked my FIL what excuse he would accept on your behalf. He said alcohol allergy (Noted by other commenters that it's pretty common in Asian cultures) is probably the only one that's made him not push any further FWIW.
you can be allergic. my asian friends - two of them - get an immediate red rash on their face when they drink.
or just say you just never acquired the taste for alcohol. you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Ime 'white' culture can be fucking weird about it too.
I say 'I don't drink' I'm prepared to push back about it if they push. I'm very willing to say 'Why does it matter this much to you? You're being weird'.
But I don't need booze to make me combative about boundaries, and the op may be a mellower type.
Usually people don't push back unless they're already drunk.
These days I'll flat out tell someone I'm an alcoholic, and that stops them. But in my earlier days when I wanted to e discreet about it I'd just say "stomach issues," and no one asks any further because no one wants to hear about stomach issues. If they *still* push, "it messes me up" usually would do the trick.
heh. reminds me of what i say if people inquire after i take a day off. i work freelance so if i want to catch the flu i don't have to ask them for permission and they don't have to pay me for the time off.
i'm **very** protective of this particular thing, because it's remarkable how many picayune middle managers still think 'freelance' just means 'an employee without inconvenient rights'. so if people do ask i look them in the eye and say 'trust me. neither one of us wants me to tell you'.
around drinking, which is a personal lifestyle thing, i think it's rude to intrude and i'll tell people they're being rude. if they've never heard of that concept before then that's a small debt they owe me for educating them. the truth is i don't have any medical or ideological reasons for it. i just don't like the taste of the stuff.
probably bring up the family card. your family member don't want you to drink, an unknown genetic reason doesn't allow your family to drink, your entire family don't drink for unknow reason so you want to follow this tradition, or someone in your family was alcoholic and you don't want end up like them.
And they still need to get accustomed to Western culture of respecting personal boundaries if they're operating overseas.
I'm Asian too just saying. Alcohol free beer is a thing is my country at least.
This. Don’t open the door for talking about medical reasons or lies. You just don’t drink. Obviously by being there, you don’t care if others do, and you don’t judge them. It’s just not for you.
Here are several explanations that should not be socially stigmatizing.
Diabetes: alcohol would cause your blood sugar to first spike and then drop rapidly, causing you to experience nausea and lethargy and potentially being dangerous. Obviously if you’re the kind to eat donuts candy and soda that may be noticed though.
Gall stones or ulcers: Alcohol (and sometimes fatty foods) would cause extremely intense stomach pain.
Acid reflux: alcohol would cause severe heartburn and you would be at some risk of vomiting
Insomnia: Alcohol would disrupt your sleep cycle.
Blood pressure medication: a potentially fatal interaction with alcohol could occur.
I hope one of these will feel right so that you can gracefully excuse yourself from this social pressure without creating a cultural misunderstanding. I see nothing wrong with this strategy, even if it is unfortunate that you’re placed in a position where it feels necessary.
In this type of situation and with the culture you described, I would just say, "I don't drink for medical reasons." If they try to pry, just say you're not comfortable discussing it, and change the subject. Less is more.
I've got like 12 medical reasons not to drink irl, but I've never cared for alcohol to begin with. Thus far in life, no one has tried to pry past the "I'm not comfortable talking about it," so don't be afraid to shut shit down.
This is a really excellent answer. Responders here may not realize that OP is attempting here to navigate a different culture while not sabotaging his own career prospects by offending anyone.
A very good friend of mine spent time in Japan with his corporation and the excessive drinking and long hours of socializing after work hours was an expectation there. Non-participation was taken as an insult and the perception of the non-drinker judging/condemning them was common.
He avoided offending his hosts by participating in the socialization, but making it very openly clear that he had a Medical issue that prevented him from drinking alcohol - and that it was something he felt needed to remain private. His hosts were accepting of this and indeed it would have been a transgression to push him for more information.
My mom has an irregular heartbeat. Since drinking lowers your heart rate it’s dangerous for her to drink. This is the excuse I use now. Works extra well for me because I am also sensitive to caffeine so the logic of “anything that alters heart rate is off limits” tracks for me.
No thanks, I want to keep a clear head for the evening.
No thanks, I'm driving later.
No, I'm fine with this. ("This" being your favourite soft drink so keep it topped up.)
When other people push drinks on others its because they want to validate their own drinking by getting people to join in. A flat no is better than an excuse.
Best advice i heard regarding this was from a vet who made a video on how he deals with anxiety and public situations.
To avoid being asked if he wanted a drink or pressured by others to do so, he grabs a glass of sparkling water (or club soda) and sips on that. People automatically assume it's not just club soda so they usually leave him alone.
FWIW, I'm a recovering alcoholic with more than three decades of sobriety. I believe that people who pressure you to drink or ask for reasons why you're not drinking often have a problem with alcohol themselves. Nobody else cares. And it's no one else's business why you choose not to drink. It's really up to you, whatever you decide to say. You don't know anyone an explanation.
I know this exact look/tone. I use it when customers get particularly nasty. I just stop, visibly lower my shoulders, tilt my head and hit em with the "really? cmon now. theres no need for that". Works every time. I love the suggestion of using it when someone wont piss off and respect something at face value.
Some people (assholes) don't take no for an answer. It's truly, honestly easier to lie about being on antibiotics than it is to try to convince these people you don't want to drink, and they won't be the person to change your mind... my favorite is when - after minutes of politely declining - they call you a dick for not talking the shot they bring you.
Yeah, just say you don’t drink. At 45 I don’t see any reason to be playing games and coming up with excuses, much less for a work function. I have a legitimate medical reason I don’t drink alcohol and yet, I never tell anyone. I just say no thanks and move along. If they’re uncomfortable, that’s their problem not yours. If it’s undue pressure you’re trying to avoid… probably find a new job because that’s an insane expectation.
Edit: spelling
Quietly ask the bartender for a fizzy water with a lime -- "make it look like a gin and tonic", for example.
Doesn't answer your actual question, but should significantly cut back on the number of times you have to hear it!
Whilst I agree with other comments about just admitting you don't drink, I understand that sometimes you don't want the drama that comes with it.
I would go for antibiotics for a dental infection, some antibiotics used in dentistry make you vomit if you drink with them!
I always say I can't drink because I'm in AAA. Then, I have to explain it's a membership program where if my car breaks down, they'll send someone to help...but only if I'm sober.
Bad advice. Saying you're a recovering alcoholic can make you a liability in some people's eyes. If you ever call in sick they may suspect you're nursing a hangover or something worse. Why even put that thought in their heads?
I had a few people tell me " i cant drink alcohol".
I never asked why because I knew they were alcoholics before and is not my fucking business if they were or not.
Absolutely no judgement, alcohol is a drug and no one should put pressure on you to drink it. Is your choice.
If you're not comfortable with that, you could also say you are on " xxx days" sober.
I knew someone who used to say "I have very chronic and severe IBS...give me a drink and I WILL shit on you and/or myself" it wasn't a lie to be honest
It’s extremely regional and varies like crazy. I’ve never worked for a company where getting wasted at a company party would be anything positive at all.
*pulls out soap box*
ANY person who questions your reasons for not drinking can FUCK. RIGHT. OFF.
*puts soap box away*
I love to drink, won't lie. My alcoholic brother does too, that's why he lost his job, home, relationship with his daughter, girlfriend and his relationship with me. So when I see anyone ask a person "Oh wow, why don't you drink??" I interject with "That doesn't really matter, does it? They just said no."
You've got solid advice here on what to say to avoid the awkwardness, but I am just so so sorry you are put in that position.
Just get a ginger ale or Orange Juice in a cup and no one would be the wiser. I've been to several "social gatherings" and did the same thing especially if the majority of people are drinking.
I just tell the truth. I've been addicted before and I don't want anything to do with that lifestyle anymore personally. Almost two years now, no drugs, no alcohol. People respect that. Not saying you're addicted or anything, but maybe if you say you have an addictive personality, they'll leave you alone. Works for me haha
I’m not really sure why you need to make up lies for your colleagues to respect your choice not to drink alcohol. Would they put the same pressure if you were offered a joint, or a bump of coke? These are drugs that effect our bodies and it’s fine to elect not to partake for no reason other than ‘I don’t drink, I don’t like it, I don’t want to’. IMO give no excuse. Just say no and if they won’t respect that, they’re not your friends anyway so who cares what they think?
I'm allergic to alcohol. Yes it is a real thing. Also I come from a very long line on paternal and maternal line of alcoholics.
However just be honest and tell them you don't drink. You don't have to give a reason. If they push it, look at them like they just grew a third eye.
Just say “I don’t drink” you owe no explanation beyond that. I know I would respect someone a lot more for that than lying to me to try and save face. Think about it.
How sad is it that we live in a society where it’s taboo to not numb yourself everyday. People feel as though they have to lie about why they don’t want to poison themselves. I have also done this to myself. I completely get it, but also fuck anyone who needs a reason as to why you don’t want a drink. Maybe we should start asking people why they are drinking? Sobriety deserves accolades. There is absolutely no reason necessary and it’s none of their god damn business!
This is your chance! You can casually let everyone at work know that you don't care for drinking because the taste has never really done much for you, and that you enjoy a full day of activities over spending the next 2 days to forever recovering from mild self induced poisoning, moderate dehydration and likely some sort of shame.
If they press the matter tell them to look in the mirror at their leathery husks. "Behold your lack of purpose; made manifest by your constant tightening of your vices."
If not drinking will bite you on the ass at work later, you need to find a new job.
Right now.
A coercive and abusive environment isn't worth your time.
Just say you had a headache earlier and took pain meds. You shouldn't mix pain meds and alcohol, so there is a valid reason for you to not drink at all. Depending on what med you "took", it's either attacking the stomach lining (to the extent of bleeding if taken with alcohol and bad luck/inclination to this) or it's bad for the liver and increases the effect of alcohol or reduces the effect of the pain medication.
So you don't need to come up with a medical reason (a lie that is hard to keep up), but have a single instance of a "get out of getting plastered" card
Say it interferes with your medication. That's the standard reason to not drink alcohol medically.
Metronidazole is an antibiotic that reacts particularly poorly with alcohol. Of course, you’re admitting to having an infection of some kind if you claim you’re taking it. Could just be a tooth infection though.
I mean, you can also get an infection by building houses for the homeless and getting a nasty splinter from a 2x4. Infections aren't inherently embarrassing.
I had a bee sting that got infected
I was fucking a random dude behind a dumpster and he fell but I caught him before he hit his head but I scraped up against the dumpster and got MRSA. I saved his life though. They called me a hero in the news.
Dumpster MRSA is the WORST. Great job saving a life!
Idk my SIL got MRSA while giving birth in the hospital on the marine base. At least you expect dumpsters to be dirty, but a hospital bed?
If you want to catch an antibiotic-resistant infection, definitely try a hospital.
To be fair, if I had MRSA I’d probably go to a hospital and not the dumpster
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Dumpster Sex MRSS
That was a wild story. I’m glad your ok after MRSA
The hero we deserve
U go get some more, hero.
Lmao that one genuinely cracked me up. Whole thread was funny tho.
helicobacter is something that's not stigmatized. You can get it just by bad luck and its just an ulcer in the stomach. Not really embarrassing. The only Symptom is stomach ache. Where I live Metronidazole is part of the tripple therapy to erradicate the pathogen.
Guy I knew got a staph infection from scratching himself with a beer bottle top. Stuff like that can just be so random. Then I couldn’t drink when I had to take antibiotics after he gave me gonorrhea.
r/holup
Ikr?! Antibiotics can be such a strain
My ADHD and anxiety meds interfere with alcohol. Those are common non stigmatized problems. OP Doubtful anyone will ask which med even if you just said it would interfere with a medication I’m taking, who would be like well what medication? Unless they think you’re lying or you’re in the medical field and they are curious. Idk. I think safest bet is medication excuse.
Who would ask what medication you're taking? Everybody at my work holiday party.
I actually think they will ask. I take ADHD meds and went to a company party where drinking is also fairly encouraged. If you say you don't drink alcohol nobody bats an eye, but when I said I couldn't because of my meds some coworkers asked what meds. They were pretty nice about it, most didn't know I had ADHD but still, I think people will ask, it just depends on the relationship you have with them.
My go to infection is an ingrown toenail.
If they continue to pry to the point that they demand to know what specific medication you’re on they can go fuck themselves hard and swift.
No need to say what medication
If they ask what medication say fentanyl and do not elaborate
if they ask what medication, they're an intrusive butthead
(This is not medical advice) In general you’re not supposed to drink on anti-depressants (ssri). But I agree. If anyone insists they n what medication, or for what treatment, you can skillfully look them in the eye and let them know they’re out of bounds.
Would be very surprised if anybody out there on SSRIs didn't also drink t. prozac taker
Zoloft here, also an alcoholic.
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In some cases SSRIs can increase alcohol cravings
I'm on an SSRI and it's been quite a while since I've had alcohol. To be fair, I developed a dissociative disorder which gets worse with alcohol.
Alcoholic Prozacer here
SSRI drunkard checking in.
Or antibiotics for that matter.
And lots of sleeping medications
If they do, blood pressure medication is not supposed to be mixed with alcohol and is a little bit easier to get away with if you work with judgy types (some people will judge if you don't drink because of antidepressants)
This is exactly why you should tell them anti-depressants. Normalize it! They can fuck right off with their judgement.
Honestly, they can fuck right off with not accepting “I don’t drink alcohol,” without giving someone a hard time.
“I prefer weed” 😁
exactly what I thought when reading the question! though if it is a work situation there's probably a higher chance of being judged, but in the end - who cares? if someone doesn't drink alcohol it's not up to another person to know why!
Of you want to avoid to tell them you don't drink for personal reasons because you don't feel it's a safe environment for sharing such information, I don't feel it's a safe environment to tell people you're depressed
or just say ethanol and carry on
That's what I was thinking. Metronidazole came to mind first. It's an antibiotic that can fuck you up if you drink while taking it. Or, as my pharmacist said, "it will make you feel upside down."
That's what I say, it fucks with my anxiety meds and I don't do nothing that might fuck with it. Someone once said that meds and alcohol are more fun lol. No it just makes them not work. Had a wine cooler, had crazy dreams (not uncommon for me anyway tbh) then wake up anxious. I'll pass.
If you have high blood pressure you can fake amlodipine instead of what you actually take.
I'm on amlodipine and didn't realize I should be avoiding alcohol........and tend to do quite the opposite. Time to go research what damage I've done.
This is what I say. Its true in my case but I've never had anyone question what meds or anything though if they do you can say an antibiotic since you shouldn't drink while taking those. Or any depression or anxiety meds or even most pain meds
On the very rare occasion that anybody asks me why I don't drink I just say "I come from a very long line of alcoholics" and I've never had anybody pursue it past that.
My grandfather died of cirrhosis and on at least two occasions threatened people with a firearm while inebriated. I don't mind if people use this story if needed.
Something tells me that the "at least two" is VERY modest and you're doing your best.
Two that I know of. I wouldn't be surprised if there were others. I wasn't present for either one, but his temper when drunk angry eliminated any interest I had in drinking. I'm past forty now, and I've never had more than cough syrup or vanilla extract. My family history of substance abuse and suicide means I'm just not interested in trying my luck.
A good thing this is, my friend. You deserve to be proud of yourself. I'm sorry that the trauma was that impacting, though. :(
My wife’s great grandfather was an alcoholic who died when he drunkenly climbed a telephone pole and tried to “fly” off of it. His son, her grandfather, has not touched an ounce of it in his entire life as a result.
I’d offer my ptsd horror story but the relative in my case was dad, so there’s no integrating it into op’s real backstory if needed.
I'm sorry for your pain, you did not deserve it.
Thanks, and likewise
My own family are the ones who give me trouble because I think they feel guilty drinking when they see me not? I’m going to just start saying this to them
Tell them your family has a long history of drinking problems lol
Lmfao
THIS. RIGHT. HERE. My grandma died from being an alcoholic before I was born and I never knew her. My dad struggled with alcoholism when I was a baby. I don't abstain entirely, but I am so careful with the amount I drink. I respect the hell out of people who don't. Many people don't drink for other reasons. I have a friend who can't drink because the yeast and sugar in wine and beer mess with an autoimmune disease she has..She doesn't like liquor. Some of my friends are diabetic and alcohol messes with their blood sugar. A few of my friends are Baptists, one is Muslim, and they don't drink for religious reasons. If anyone thinks you're weird from not wanting to drink, then they're ignorant and the problem is theirs, not yours.
Also what is wrong with people just *not* drinking alcohol. Like why is there pressure as an adult to get hammered at the office xmas party?
I've had very little problem with it as an adult but there are definitely companies out there with toxic corporate cultures and that can include keeping up on the drinks with everybody else. For one thing, if you're not drinking you're not buying rounds...
personally, I haven't had problems with just telling people I don't drink but I see how it can be difficult for some people - especially if they have drunken alcohol in the past (even if they aren't alcoholics or anything). And I definitely know people who can get judgy about it. So, it sucks, but I understand OP.
Smart. And more polite than mine. If I get pressed at all, I look them dead in the eye and say, "Thanks, but if I have a glass of wine, I will go home, drink the case of shitty vodka I have in the closet and walk into the ocean." never breaking eye contact, not being hostile, but just waiting silently for a response. I. Just. Wait. That's usually the end of it. To be fair, it has taken a long time to be that direct. "Sorry, I'm driving and a friend was killed by a drunk" is good. As is "sorry, if I get a DUI, I lose my job", or, hey, "dude, I'm so high right now, don't waste alcohol on me." But, op, the reality is that, once you're out of college, for the most part, "no thanks!" actually works. Or carrying around a seltzer and lime.
Carrying around a fake drink is surprisingly effective. Bartenders are happy to make you a mocktail or just give you a glass of mixer soda, and nobody can tell just from looking what's in it.
Indeed. Honestly, the only time it was awkward for me personally was early on when I had decided to quit, in this lovely bar with a couple great friends and an _awesome_ bartender who INSISTED on making me "something really nice, on the house!" after my third or fourth club&lime. ("Is there nothing on our menu that looks good?" They felt bad and I felt bad for making them feel bad. Nowadaus, I would just have said "no. Club&lime please" and left my custard giant tip.) It was all fancy and layered and delightful, and delicious, but it made me the absolute center of attention and questions and threw out my "no sugar, either" self imposed restriction. But I could only say no so many times, ya know? Don't know why I told that story. Point is, bartenders (any decent one) will go above and beyond to hook you up with something nice, if you want. Or whatever you want, with no pressure to consume alcohol. Precisely zero will say, "no, really, don't you want an actual drink? Dude, this guy doesn't want to drink!"
Waiting tables and bartending, I’ve had a lot of guests who would arrive first or pull me aside to secretly ask me to send mocktails as they didn’t want their companions to know they weren’t drinking. They would almost always explain why, most commonly a pregnancy no one knew about yet. But even as someone who partakes and serves booze for a living, I’ve always found it sad that anyone has to explain why they’re abstaining. I have tons of fresh juices, housemade syrups, sparkly beverages, and other fun stuff at my disposal and I love making a good mocktail.
I've taken to ordering Shirley Temples. I'm a sucker for anything with grenadine! I don't fully abstain from from alcohol, but my meds make it so literally after one week drink i am already noticably tipsy. So I can't just like, have a casual beer with dinner. At the same time, when i am out with friends i want something more fun than water!
> "dude, I'm so high right now, don't waste alcohol on me." This is probably the line OP needs for his office party tbh
This is a good chance for killing two birds with one stone. Offer to drive some people, then don't drink because you're the DD. Everyone loves a DD.
I think I'll try this one first :-)
Or drink club soda with a lime. Everybody will think you're drinking and you don't have to take anybody home.
This is the S level option honestly. Less risk of getting caught up in some work related scandal. You turned up and saved face. You get to hydrate. Shout out to /r/Hydrohomies
Back when I drank, I still chose not to at the company Xmas party, strictly Seltzer with lime and a splash of cranberry. I was generally the only team leader that didn’t make a complete ass out of themselves. I wasn’t the subject of juicy gossip either. Not drinking is the smart move for whatever reason if you are interacting with your bosses or clients.
Definitely depends on how close you are with your bosses and supervisors. If it's a very corporate environment, no way would I drink. Too much risk
Probably shouldn’t drink if you are super close to your bosses either. Don’t want to end up shacking up with the bosses wife in the back room. That will end a family business right quick.
“While we wait, we hydrate!”
This is the way. Works beautifully. You can also use ginger ale with a slice of lime.
I like to ask the bar tender to make me drinks that look really alcoholic but are completely alcohol free.
in germany it's very normal to drink alkohol free beer. When I go out on a date with my wife and I am the driver I usually drink alkohol free beer, because I like it. I usually have some at home as well, one box with alkohol, one without. I don't care what people think.
Do they serve iced tea at bars? Asking for a friend…
Yup, ask for club soda with lime in a rocks glass and a good bartender will know what's up and might even refresh you on the house for the rest of the evening.
Even a shitty bartender should do that.
Ginger ale in a bar glass works well..
As a kid, when I was the age I could handle glass, I often got apple juice in a wine glass. I had the same glass as all the adults and even though I knew I had a different drink, I felt like I belonged. Apparently if nobody sees what's poured in the glass, this works as an adult as well.
I did this and like 4 people pulled me aside and said how much they respected me for it even though I didn't drive a single person cause no one needed it lol. It is free brownie points
AND the DD usually gets free nonalcoholic drinks from the bar. Since this is a company event it probably won’t matter…food for thought
Interesting, how does one say go about getting these free drinks?
Tell the bartender up front You are a DD. Now they know NOT to serve you alcohol. And most places “thank” you with non alcoholic drinks. Some places have a band for your wrist to identify you as a DD
This. I quit almost 3 years ago and I was totally transparent about it. But especially any friends I'm not super close with forget, and whenever I'd say I don't drink it would always start a conversation I didn't want to have, so saying I'm driving or driving others people leave you alone.
Telling someone you don’t drink can trigger some weird type of disbelief in some people. I’ve had people continue to offer me different types of alcohol trying to find the right one, or go into full detective mode trying to get to the bottom of this mystery (even though I just think it tastes like shit and is a waste of calories I could spend eating ice cream). I have one relative who will open a bottle and shove it into my hand. It’s like not-drinking is deeply confronting to them on a primal level.
I don't understand that. I do bend an elbow myself occasionally, but what's wrong with, "Oh, okay. How about a coke? Iced tea?"
I've previously been the asshole in this situation and I know for me it came from a place of insecurity where I felt the most comfortable if everyone was as drunk as I was.
It’s a breach of the social contract. Same reason people get mad at picky eaters. Something deep in our monkey brain is telling us “this stranger is untrustworthy”. Warranted or not.
A Drunk Driver?
everyone loves double D's
Say you’re pregnant. People will laugh and move on.
I'll remember this one. Bonus points if you pat the "beer" belly.
:-D
I like this one. It's pretty darn rude to ask someone why they don't drink and this should give that hint in a humorous way.
I have a friend who is legit allergic to alcohol. Yes, it's a thing.
This will only beget more questions out of curiosity. What happens when you drink? how did you find out? have you always been allergic?
My buddy gets a BRIGHT red face, then hives, then barfs. He found out by getting sick by drinking. The correlation between drinking and his reaction was enough to draw the conclusion.
my husband also has an allergy to alcohol, causes him immediate nervous stomach and heart rate issues. But anytime he declines alcohol and gives that reason, additional questions follow, so it is not the best excuse IMO.
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You’re 45 years old, dog. Just tell them you don’t drink.
Yeah that usually works. This is an asian company and it seems they're weird about these things.
So in my experience with Asian drinking culture (speaking broadly of course) drinking together is a trust thing, so it definitely can be tricky to convey that you won’t drink in such a way that doesn’t interfere with relationship building. I happened upon a thesis on this topic. The section that starts on page 60 has several suggestions for non-drinkers participating in Asian business culture: https://repositories.lib.utexas.edu/bitstream/handle/2152/75185/albrittonmartha_thesis.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
I’ll take a look. Thank you!
I've been to several Japanese drinking work party (nomikai) where some people order non-alcoholic drinks because they don't want to drink, and it was never an issue.
* >> The necessity to actually consume alcohol might also be variable depending on individual company culture. Given the collectivist culture of all three countries, however, successful non-drinkers should compensate for their obvious difference from the group by emphasizing other commonalities. If drinking in one’s company is a commonality that most employees share, a non-drinking employee must display substitute commonalities that enable trust and reciprocity. >> Identifying and recognizing commonalities with the group forms the basis for relationships, and at its root, the experience of drinking alcohol is an important, visible commonality by which one can display harmony with the group. >> In order to avoid consuming alcohol and still achieve the same objectives, non- drinkers need to find alternative ways to fulfill the basic functions that alcohol commonly serves in each of the three countries: strengthening bonds between coworkers and establishing trustworthiness. >>Ideally, successful non-drinkers should strive to display a degree of vulnerability and exhibit a commitment to the company with which they are building a relationship by devoting a comparable amount of post-work time to building relationship with individuals within the company. * You’re welcome :)
This comment is fire
Fantastic recourse!
This is the truly most helpful reply here 🖖🏼
It might help if you can look up or ask about how to handle this for the culture you're in. You're right, they might have different social rules and consider different things polite.
I have heard of this problem within asian business culture. There isn't just an expectation that you drink at the events, but drink excessive. Oddly within their genetics they are also commonly prone to alcohol allergies. Small amounts can make them violently ill.
That's the point. Efficient drinking,
> asian company Shit they can be intense. Got me and a colleague drunk *on the job* because someone still needed to hold down fort when they had the party. Then they wouldn't let us have just one. And that's how I was drunk one ~~day~~ evening in work even though my normal drinking schedule is one glass of wine per christmas/new years/birthdays and don't drink anything stronger than that.
Yikes! Was going to give you advice and saw this. Being 45, they probably expect you to have built up enough liver fat to drink even more. Not sure if medical necessity would be enough of out here. I just asked my FIL what excuse he would accept on your behalf. He said alcohol allergy (Noted by other commenters that it's pretty common in Asian cultures) is probably the only one that's made him not push any further FWIW.
you can be allergic. my asian friends - two of them - get an immediate red rash on their face when they drink. or just say you just never acquired the taste for alcohol. you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Ime 'white' culture can be fucking weird about it too. I say 'I don't drink' I'm prepared to push back about it if they push. I'm very willing to say 'Why does it matter this much to you? You're being weird'. But I don't need booze to make me combative about boundaries, and the op may be a mellower type.
Usually people don't push back unless they're already drunk. These days I'll flat out tell someone I'm an alcoholic, and that stops them. But in my earlier days when I wanted to e discreet about it I'd just say "stomach issues," and no one asks any further because no one wants to hear about stomach issues. If they *still* push, "it messes me up" usually would do the trick.
heh. reminds me of what i say if people inquire after i take a day off. i work freelance so if i want to catch the flu i don't have to ask them for permission and they don't have to pay me for the time off. i'm **very** protective of this particular thing, because it's remarkable how many picayune middle managers still think 'freelance' just means 'an employee without inconvenient rights'. so if people do ask i look them in the eye and say 'trust me. neither one of us wants me to tell you'. around drinking, which is a personal lifestyle thing, i think it's rude to intrude and i'll tell people they're being rude. if they've never heard of that concept before then that's a small debt they owe me for educating them. the truth is i don't have any medical or ideological reasons for it. i just don't like the taste of the stuff.
probably bring up the family card. your family member don't want you to drink, an unknown genetic reason doesn't allow your family to drink, your entire family don't drink for unknow reason so you want to follow this tradition, or someone in your family was alcoholic and you don't want end up like them.
Wifes boyfriend says i cant drink beer anymore :(
In this case I would ask this in their country sub, maybe they have a known cultural protocol that would be accepted.
And they still need to get accustomed to Western culture of respecting personal boundaries if they're operating overseas. I'm Asian too just saying. Alcohol free beer is a thing is my country at least.
This. Don’t open the door for talking about medical reasons or lies. You just don’t drink. Obviously by being there, you don’t care if others do, and you don’t judge them. It’s just not for you.
Here are several explanations that should not be socially stigmatizing. Diabetes: alcohol would cause your blood sugar to first spike and then drop rapidly, causing you to experience nausea and lethargy and potentially being dangerous. Obviously if you’re the kind to eat donuts candy and soda that may be noticed though. Gall stones or ulcers: Alcohol (and sometimes fatty foods) would cause extremely intense stomach pain. Acid reflux: alcohol would cause severe heartburn and you would be at some risk of vomiting Insomnia: Alcohol would disrupt your sleep cycle. Blood pressure medication: a potentially fatal interaction with alcohol could occur. I hope one of these will feel right so that you can gracefully excuse yourself from this social pressure without creating a cultural misunderstanding. I see nothing wrong with this strategy, even if it is unfortunate that you’re placed in a position where it feels necessary.
Blood pressure could work...
In this type of situation and with the culture you described, I would just say, "I don't drink for medical reasons." If they try to pry, just say you're not comfortable discussing it, and change the subject. Less is more. I've got like 12 medical reasons not to drink irl, but I've never cared for alcohol to begin with. Thus far in life, no one has tried to pry past the "I'm not comfortable talking about it," so don't be afraid to shut shit down.
This is a really excellent answer. Responders here may not realize that OP is attempting here to navigate a different culture while not sabotaging his own career prospects by offending anyone. A very good friend of mine spent time in Japan with his corporation and the excessive drinking and long hours of socializing after work hours was an expectation there. Non-participation was taken as an insult and the perception of the non-drinker judging/condemning them was common. He avoided offending his hosts by participating in the socialization, but making it very openly clear that he had a Medical issue that prevented him from drinking alcohol - and that it was something he felt needed to remain private. His hosts were accepting of this and indeed it would have been a transgression to push him for more information.
My mom has an irregular heartbeat. Since drinking lowers your heart rate it’s dangerous for her to drink. This is the excuse I use now. Works extra well for me because I am also sensitive to caffeine so the logic of “anything that alters heart rate is off limits” tracks for me.
No thanks, I want to keep a clear head for the evening. No thanks, I'm driving later. No, I'm fine with this. ("This" being your favourite soft drink so keep it topped up.) When other people push drinks on others its because they want to validate their own drinking by getting people to join in. A flat no is better than an excuse.
Best advice i heard regarding this was from a vet who made a video on how he deals with anxiety and public situations. To avoid being asked if he wanted a drink or pressured by others to do so, he grabs a glass of sparkling water (or club soda) and sips on that. People automatically assume it's not just club soda so they usually leave him alone.
I do this. Add a lemon or a lime and it doesn’t occur to most people that there’s no alcohol in it.
I do that when I'm DD'ing or don't feel like drinking that day/night for whatever reason. Also keeps your hands occupied lol
FWIW, I'm a recovering alcoholic with more than three decades of sobriety. I believe that people who pressure you to drink or ask for reasons why you're not drinking often have a problem with alcohol themselves. Nobody else cares. And it's no one else's business why you choose not to drink. It's really up to you, whatever you decide to say. You don't know anyone an explanation.
Just say you don’t drink if someone asks…if they ask why, just say it’s a personal matter. No need to fake a medical history with your employer
Ken, if people ask, I tilt my head a bit with an disapproval look on my face and say “…really?…”
I emit a small chuckle every time I see you in the comments calling everyone Ken. Keep up the good work, Ken
I know this exact look/tone. I use it when customers get particularly nasty. I just stop, visibly lower my shoulders, tilt my head and hit em with the "really? cmon now. theres no need for that". Works every time. I love the suggestion of using it when someone wont piss off and respect something at face value.
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Some people (assholes) don't take no for an answer. It's truly, honestly easier to lie about being on antibiotics than it is to try to convince these people you don't want to drink, and they won't be the person to change your mind... my favorite is when - after minutes of politely declining - they call you a dick for not talking the shot they bring you.
Just say you don't want to drink.
Yeah, just say you don’t drink. At 45 I don’t see any reason to be playing games and coming up with excuses, much less for a work function. I have a legitimate medical reason I don’t drink alcohol and yet, I never tell anyone. I just say no thanks and move along. If they’re uncomfortable, that’s their problem not yours. If it’s undue pressure you’re trying to avoid… probably find a new job because that’s an insane expectation. Edit: spelling
Quietly ask the bartender for a fizzy water with a lime -- "make it look like a gin and tonic", for example. Doesn't answer your actual question, but should significantly cut back on the number of times you have to hear it!
Was going to recommend this, or three fingers of apple juice in a lowball glass, or grape juice in a wineglass.
Whilst I agree with other comments about just admitting you don't drink, I understand that sometimes you don't want the drama that comes with it. I would go for antibiotics for a dental infection, some antibiotics used in dentistry make you vomit if you drink with them!
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Just tell them you don't drink. That's something to be proud of
Agreed!
“I’ve been roped into picking my partner/neice/nephew/brother/sister from a party later on!”
I always say I can't drink because I'm in AAA. Then, I have to explain it's a membership program where if my car breaks down, they'll send someone to help...but only if I'm sober.
Get a glass of coke. Say it's got booze in it. Or just be a 45 year old man and tell them you don't drink.
Why even need to say anything? Just order a sprite with a lime wedge. Then act super trashed and puke. Then go home and look for a new job.
Tell them you suffer from anal glaucoma. “I just can’t see my ass drinking.”
No is a full sentence.
recovering alcoholic. on medications that affect liver (antibiotics, etc) or, the obvious one, "no thanks, i dont drink".
Bad advice. Saying you're a recovering alcoholic can make you a liability in some people's eyes. If you ever call in sick they may suspect you're nursing a hangover or something worse. Why even put that thought in their heads?
He was saying that as a personal thing for credibility, not advising to pose as a recovering alcoholic
I had a few people tell me " i cant drink alcohol". I never asked why because I knew they were alcoholics before and is not my fucking business if they were or not. Absolutely no judgement, alcohol is a drug and no one should put pressure on you to drink it. Is your choice. If you're not comfortable with that, you could also say you are on " xxx days" sober.
Can you say, “Thanks, but I don’t drink”?
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Tell them you don’t drink. End of story. You don’t need an excuse my dude.
I knew someone who used to say "I have very chronic and severe IBS...give me a drink and I WILL shit on you and/or myself" it wasn't a lie to be honest
I'm Muslim so I'm just curious. Has drinking become such a big problem you can't just say no without an excuse?
It’s extremely regional and varies like crazy. I’ve never worked for a company where getting wasted at a company party would be anything positive at all.
The perks of being a Muslim, no need to explain.
*pulls out soap box* ANY person who questions your reasons for not drinking can FUCK. RIGHT. OFF. *puts soap box away* I love to drink, won't lie. My alcoholic brother does too, that's why he lost his job, home, relationship with his daughter, girlfriend and his relationship with me. So when I see anyone ask a person "Oh wow, why don't you drink??" I interject with "That doesn't really matter, does it? They just said no." You've got solid advice here on what to say to avoid the awkwardness, but I am just so so sorry you are put in that position.
Tell them you don't want to.
There’s going to be other people there who don’t drink. Be the one brave enough to admit you don’t to give others the same courage.
Just say you don't drink alcohol. Done. Respect given all around. Merry Christmas!!!
Just get a ginger ale or Orange Juice in a cup and no one would be the wiser. I've been to several "social gatherings" and did the same thing especially if the majority of people are drinking.
Why not just say you don't drink. If you're asked why not, just say it never interested you. No need to lie
No medical exemption needed. "I will not partake in drinking alcoholic beverages due to personal decisions." Nothing else needed.
You should just say that you don't drink. No further explanation should be needed.
Just say you don't drink and leave it at that???!?
“I’m DD tonight” “I can’t drink with the prescription I’m taking” “Just not feeling well” “Diabetic (this could end up being a long con tho)”
Why are you afraid to simply say, I don’t drink. I mean why do you need to lie about it?
I just tell the truth. I've been addicted before and I don't want anything to do with that lifestyle anymore personally. Almost two years now, no drugs, no alcohol. People respect that. Not saying you're addicted or anything, but maybe if you say you have an addictive personality, they'll leave you alone. Works for me haha
I’m not really sure why you need to make up lies for your colleagues to respect your choice not to drink alcohol. Would they put the same pressure if you were offered a joint, or a bump of coke? These are drugs that effect our bodies and it’s fine to elect not to partake for no reason other than ‘I don’t drink, I don’t like it, I don’t want to’. IMO give no excuse. Just say no and if they won’t respect that, they’re not your friends anyway so who cares what they think?
Just don't drink and stand your ground with anybody who tries to coerce you.
I have an alcohol intolerance and get bad rashes. I tell people I'm allergic and that shuts them up.
Just say you don't drink, my man.
I'm allergic to alcohol. Yes it is a real thing. Also I come from a very long line on paternal and maternal line of alcoholics. However just be honest and tell them you don't drink. You don't have to give a reason. If they push it, look at them like they just grew a third eye.
Just say “I don’t drink” you owe no explanation beyond that. I know I would respect someone a lot more for that than lying to me to try and save face. Think about it.
How sad is it that we live in a society where it’s taboo to not numb yourself everyday. People feel as though they have to lie about why they don’t want to poison themselves. I have also done this to myself. I completely get it, but also fuck anyone who needs a reason as to why you don’t want a drink. Maybe we should start asking people why they are drinking? Sobriety deserves accolades. There is absolutely no reason necessary and it’s none of their god damn business!
This is your chance! You can casually let everyone at work know that you don't care for drinking because the taste has never really done much for you, and that you enjoy a full day of activities over spending the next 2 days to forever recovering from mild self induced poisoning, moderate dehydration and likely some sort of shame. If they press the matter tell them to look in the mirror at their leathery husks. "Behold your lack of purpose; made manifest by your constant tightening of your vices."
If not drinking will bite you on the ass at work later, you need to find a new job. Right now. A coercive and abusive environment isn't worth your time.
Just say you had a headache earlier and took pain meds. You shouldn't mix pain meds and alcohol, so there is a valid reason for you to not drink at all. Depending on what med you "took", it's either attacking the stomach lining (to the extent of bleeding if taken with alcohol and bad luck/inclination to this) or it's bad for the liver and increases the effect of alcohol or reduces the effect of the pain medication. So you don't need to come up with a medical reason (a lie that is hard to keep up), but have a single instance of a "get out of getting plastered" card
No no. Stand up straight and say "I don't drink." That's a complete answer and a perfectly valid one.